September 23, 2025 • 24 mins
Nick talks about legos, chatgpt, and has a conversation with comedian James McCann
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
I still speaking that that should not have made it
to the rest of us. This is Inside Thoughts.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Check check check one two three. Welcome back to Inside Thoughts.
I appreciate you pressing play. How's your week going, huh?
I hope it's going good. Got a cool interview for
you at the end of the podcast with comedian James McCann.
Super funny dude. He's going to be at Helium here
in Indye this Friday, So if you're listening to this
(00:36):
and you're in the area, go see it. Man. But yeah, hope, hope.
You're having a good week. You got to got to
be having a better week than the guy who's supposed
to be making sure taiwan All makes money. Taiwan All
makes you want to play with legos quite a lot,
quite a bit. In fact, the guy, the guy who's
(01:00):
I'm trying to make sure the profits share a taiwanow
is good for Q three walked into work today. He's like, gosh, shit,
we was half because you know, like that's how everything
is now, where you know, somebody says something, half the
people are like, well, well, I'm not taking Taiwano anymore.
I don't want trains I don't want trains. And then
(01:23):
the other half of people are like, Taiwanov is actually amazing.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I'm gonna have all of it in one bottle. I'm
just gonna take the whole bottle.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
You're gonna die. You're not gonna get autism, but you're
you're gonna die. That was such a crazy headline to read.
Oh man, we have a great, big autism announcement. It's
coming all the TikTok. Divergent people are like, finally, I
want to know the reason you don't have autism. There's
(01:57):
like there's some people that do have like actual autism,
and then some people who are just annoying and bad
at being people, and they're.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Like, I need a reason for why my personality sucks.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Do you get overstimulated talking to people?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I do. Do you not make eye contact?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah I do.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
You're autistic, I know. No you're not. No, you're not.
You're just a person who stared at your phone for
so long to now when you look at another human
being and you see somebody else's soul through their eyes,
should get a little uncomfortable because you're used to looking
at the black death, the infinite black death, or white death,
(02:39):
whichever screen setting you have on your phone. But it's okay,
we're all dumb and we all have the tism. Apparently
that's what TikTok says. And if you've had Taiwan all,
you probably have it too. Yeah, you like legos? Do
you want to build them? I like legos when I
was a kid. I don't have autism though. Also, I'm
(03:03):
pretty sure my mom took Thailand all and probably smoked
some weed. But you know, what are you gonna do?
That was another thing, like I'm not blaming my mom
for making me as stupid as I am, but I
do have some questions. Like when I was a kid,
you know how most most toddlers are walking around with
like a bottle full of milk. You know, No, the
(03:25):
babies like milk.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's you gotta get the milk for the nutrients or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It is. Just you got your baby bottleful of milk, right,
My baby bottle was filled with apple juice. So if
you were like, if you've ever had a conversation with me,
or you've ever you know, listened to more than thirty
seconds of this podcast, and you're like, I wonder why
(03:49):
this guy is so stupid because I was drinking apple
juice from age like one to five. Every single day.
That sugar was just smacking my head every day. Gotta
wake up, gotta get my baba. No wonder I have
a nicotine problem, dude, you know what I mean, Gotta
have my zin.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Why God, because I don't have my baba with apple
juice anymore anyway.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
It's toughy and stupid. It's even worse, like when you
get like the humbling, humbling realization from something else that
you're not expecting that you are stupid. Because like if
you're talking to a human being and they're like, hey,
you're dumb, You're like, yeah, I was expecting that, you
know what I mean, we've been we've been talking for
more than you know, five minutes. You're picking up that
(04:35):
I'm not very smart. I get that. Or like if
you mess up something at work, you like, yeah, I know,
I don't know why you gave me so much responsibility.
I am dumb, And everybody's like, yeah, that's conabor or fault.
But when you get it from a place you weren't
expecting it, it's it's jarring, humbling, humblingly jarring, just using
(04:55):
words now. I was like, you know, when you type
in a chat GPT when you need it to write
some something you don't want to write because I don't
want to use my brain for four and a half
seconds to think. I'm like, yeah, chat GPT, do this
bullshit that I don't want to do, but you do
it where it's like, hey, write me this using my voice,
(05:16):
and chat GPT's like, okay, got it. And then it
writes the dumbest fucking paragraph I've ever read. And he's like, oh,
I wrote this using your voice in the first sentence
is dumb and moron. And here's what I think. It's like,
oh shit, that's chat GPT taking all of my data,
all the things that I've input into it, like googling
(05:38):
how to make meatballs and will I die if I
eat this? Does my cat fart? It's taken all that
stuff and then all of my search history and just
shooting out the dumbest paragraph you've ever seen. And I
can't be mad at the robot for that. That's my fault.
I'm stupid. The robot's not dumb. It's a reflection of
(06:01):
what I've given it stuff. And so Amy actually said
one of the funniest things I've ever heard, and she
apparently just like made it up on the fly. Is
like somebody we were we were driving down the street
and somebody, you know, just had too much stupid juice
that day, was just not knowing how to drive. And
she was like, someone left the door open? Did they?
(06:23):
And I just go what She was like, Hey, someone
left the door open. And I was like, is that
a thing British people say? And she's like no, Like
that's all. I don't know why that's funny, but that's
my new favorite. Like bless your heart, you're so dumb.
It's like, ah, somebody left the door open. Huh. I
don't even know why it makes sense, Like I guess
you know someone left the door open. You're too stupid
(06:46):
to you know, not stay in the house. You just
walked out into traffic, or you've just started walking around
you got lost, or you're so dumb someone left the
door open, you just walked right. I don't know what
it is, but I love it and I'm gonna to
continue to use it. So anytime someone does something dumb,
mostly me, she'd be like, Oh, someone left the door open. Huh.
(07:09):
Speaking of being dumb, I found out that I didn't
find this out. I live in Indiana, but I found
out on social media that Illinois talks down to Indiana
like as a as a state I have never lived in,
like the dumb state. Like I grew up in Georgia,
(07:30):
so we would make fun of Alabama, South Carolina, Florida.
Then I lived in Ohio, and everybody makes fun of Ohio,
but it's really just some propaganda made by Detroit to
make them feel better about, you know, being a shittier city.
And Ohio still looks at West Virginia like oh yeah,
well we're not you and Kentucky because they want to
(07:50):
be Ohio real bad. But then I lived in Texas.
They make fun of Oklahoma and Louisiana, and then North Carolina,
who makes fun of South Carolina and Virginia. I've never
lived in the Yeah, we are those dumb fucks over
there state. I get, I get on social media and
I'm watching this video of like this bar. You know,
it's like one of those things like.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
I found a hidden jam and bad baby.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I'm milk at this place because Amy sends me videos. Now,
so my algorithm's gotten compromised. It's not just sports and
video games anymore. It's this weekend, you could do this.
And I go check the comments and it's a bunch
of people going, yeah, this place looks sick, but it's
in Indiana, so that means it sucks. And somebody was like,
where do you live? And they're like, Illinois obviously the
(08:35):
better state. Illinois gay like, no, you live in Indiana,
you dumb fuck. And I gotta be honest, I did
not care for that. It really it made me feel
some type of way. I live here now. Everybody here
is nice. I enjoy these people. They're not dumb. And
Illinois has no room to talk because they have one
(08:56):
good city, Chicago. Outside of that, you guys are basically Alabama,
except shittier because it's cold. There's nothing going on up
in Illinois.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Oh, I want to go to Champagne Illinois.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
No, you don't, no reason to go to Illinois. So
I'm not an Indiana Hoosiers fan even a little bit.
But Indiana and Illinois were playing this past weekend, and
I wanted Indiana to win. I felt like some kind
of pride it was in me. I wanted the Hoosiers
to win. I felt it, and I gotta be honest.
(09:32):
I thought I drank a little too much when I
saw that score sixty three to ten. Jesus, so take
that Illinois. Yeah, I got Indiana pride. Now, it's probably
not a good thing. I just I don't like living
in the dumb state, you know what I mean, especially
when like a state that has no business making fun
(09:52):
of another state starts talking shit like if people in
Chicago are you know, talking shit about Indianapolis? Like, okay,
you got a case, right, It's like New York and Boston,
So I get you got a case. It's fine. It's
just it's it's tough finding out that you live in
(10:12):
the dumb state. But I h I don't mind people
being dumb. I get angry when people try and treat
you like an idiot like this. I saw this today
and it pissed me off. What Chipotle sent out this thing.
It's like happy free case of DA Day. To celebrate
(10:34):
national Case of THEA Day, Chipotle is offering up free
case ideas if you order twenty dollars worth of food
or more. Hey guess what, that's not a deal.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Bro, Yeah, We're actually gonna offer you, dumb fucks some
cheesy bread that costs us no money. We're probably gonna
throw all the extra stuff away that we're gonna use
to make this.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
If you spend more than twenty at your pole, I
guess what. There's no reason to spend more than twelve
bucks at Chipotle. You go in, you get a burrito,
you get a bowl, you're out.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Well, you could get a free case of da if.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
You spend twelve dollars in order the case of dea
what is it two dollars? But they're trying to trick you.
I don't like that. That stuff drives me up the wall, man,
Like that's that's the kind of dumb like you used
to talk to children, you know what I mean, Well,
why can I do that? Well, because if you do it,
(11:31):
you'll die. Okay, I won't do it. That's like that
kind of logic. Well, if you spend twenty bucks, you
get a free case of DIA. And I know like
they're doing it because they have the analytics, the research
that they found. Hey, these fat pieces of shit will
order this if we throw them a free case of Doa.
(11:52):
That's the kind of stuff that drives me up the
wall man, Like I remember, I've done it. I am
a dumb person. But you know, when you're a kid,
you find out out who the dumber kid is. And
when you're a little kid, you're a little socio pass,
so you try and take advantage of it a little bit.
Remember there was this kid in my neighborhood grown up.
I think we were like six or seven years old,
(12:14):
and it was back when we both really liked baseball cards.
He had a Michael Jordan White Sox baseball card, super rare,
super cool, but his favorite player was Andrew Jones. And
I had two Andrew Jones baseball cards. One of them
was a holographic one and the other one was just
Andrew Jones making a sick catch. So I didn't really
(12:36):
care about the holographic one because I already had Andrew
Jones making a sick catch. And the holographic one was
like one of those tops. We're gonna make this look
like a special edition, but it's actually worthless because we
printed four hundred thousand of them. So he was like,
I like that card. I was like, I'll trade you, bro,
I'll give you the Andrew Jones and you give me
the Michael Jordan. He goes, oh, my dad said, I
(12:57):
can't give away the Michael Jordan. I was like, dude, ude,
how bad do you want this Andrew Jones wan? It's shiny? Look,
look how cool The Michael Jordan's not even shiny? And
you really like Andrew Jones. I don't like Andrew Jones.
And guess what. We made that trade? And then I
went home thinking that stupid idiot and his dad came
(13:18):
over to my house and was like talking to my parents,
were like, hey, our kids made a deal. I'm not
okay with this and uh and I was like, here, listen,
I'll give him two extra cards. But we made a
deal and he really likes Andrew Jones. And the kid
was like, oh, okay, I'll take that. And the ded
was like, no, he took the deal. I still have
(13:40):
the Michael Jordan card somewhere. That's what Chapaltway is trying
to do. Hey, this case of deal is nice and shiny.
It's worth two bucks, dude, Why why don't you give
me an extra twenty bucks and I'll give you this
well shiny card. Stupid treating us like idiots. Man, by
the way, don't be don't be a mean person. If
(14:00):
you know that someone's dumber than you, Even if you
are dumb, don't take advantage of them. You know what
I mean. It's evil, evil dumb people. All right, let's uh,
let's get to your headline of the week and then
get into this interview with comedian James McCann. This is
another one where companies are treating us like idiots. Samsung's
(14:24):
eighteen hundred dollars fridges will start showing you ads. Samsung
is introducing advertisements to its Family Hubs smart refrigerators in
the US through a new software update, so you don't
even get to choose, it's just gonna update right up
to your fridge. These ads will appear on the refrigerator's
cover screen while it's idle, and you can choose to
(14:47):
not have the ads if you pay an extra monthly subscription.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Go kill yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Dude, who is the person at Samsung that was allowed
to make this decision and not be put in jail?
You already paid almost two grand for a refrigerator. You're
just keeping Deli meat cool, That's all you're doing, making
sure the milk done go bad. It's a fridge. Maybe
(15:16):
you know you're living upper middle class life and you
got the water. Uh, you got the water filter in there?
Ice cold fridge water. You're living high. You're like, no,
I got I'm making a bunch of money. I got
a flex on my home appliances. I need I need
a TV screen on my fridge. Dumb fuck? You need
(15:37):
a TV screen for so I can tell you your
heart rate every time you go touch the handle to
grab out some Totino's pizza rolls out of the freezer,
you fat piece of shit. Actually, you know what, I'm
on boarder with Samsung now. I've talked myself into it.
If you have one of those smart refrigerators, you deserve
to have advertisements put on your screen that say.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Hey, for a free national case of DA day, Chipotle's
offering you a free case of d if you make
twenty dollars and more purchases.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
What do you need a TV screen on your fridge
for now? I'm back off it. That's like too greedy,
that's too greedy. You already spent the two grand you
put food in it. It's probably like, you know, twenty
two hundred dollars sitting there, and they're like, all right,
we gotta make more money off these people. Yep. Run
(16:29):
the ads. So now while it's idle, you're just gonna be,
you know, in the dark. You wake up in the
middle of the night, go take a piss, and you're like,
I'm gonna go get some water. And you walk past
your fridge and it's hey.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
I'm Mario Lopez with Entertainment Tonight.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
You're like, dude, what the fuck am I at a
gas station in my own house? What are we doing?
The greed's gotten out of control. But also if you
have a TV on your fridge, like, that's it's too
much as you're kind of getting what you deserve. All right.
That's uh, that's enough. Let's get to this interview with
the very funny comedian from Australia, James mccairn. What's going on, bro?
(17:09):
You excited to come to Andy.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
I'm filled with joy at the prospect of coming to Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Have you have you been to Andy yet? I know
you've been traveling all around the place, but have you
stopped here?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
I got to open up. I'm done my own show,
but I got to open up for Shane Guilt here
and I got to have these shrimp cocktails that have
stayed with me ever since I actually ordered the sauce
to my house Hot Sauce. You can get it on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah that'll, uh, that'll clear out some thoughts in your
head real quick. Man.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
No one told me before. It'll just be a nice,
normal shrimp cocktail. And then, boy, it's something. Is it
the Elmo's Firehouse? Am I getting that right?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Saint Elmo's Steakhouse?
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Yeah, Saint Elmo's Steakhouse. I mean it felt like a
fire house in my head.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I loved it.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
I'm really looking forward to getting another one of those
bad boys up the up the cousin.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, well we'll get you some of that. Man. But
how's how's the tour been going. You're on your big
USA comedy tour. How's it been? I am tired so
a lot.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
You know, when you've become more successful, you're allowed to, uh,
you know, you spend a full weekend somewhere. But at
the moment I show up in the place, I do
two shows that day and I fly that to another place. O. Man, boy, brutal,
A lot of fine, but I'm staying healthy, you know,
and I'll be ready for the show.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I'm glad to hear that. We I'm sure a lot
of people just watched your Black Israelite Special or mini
special that you just dropped a couple of weeks ago.
Can we expect new material or are we doing a
bunch more stuff on Israel.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Leaving that in the bas We've done enough of that,
And uh, it's all so fresh and new and secret,
but all will have seen it before. That doesn't mean
it's good, but it'll be new.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I'm sure it'll be good, bro. But I wanted to
ask because my girlfriend's British, so she always tells me
that Australians are kind of insane human beings. How is
your insanity being Australian matching up with the insanity of
Americans that you get to deal with when you're at
comedy shows.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
I mean, look, if I if I can be negative
about the British, I mean, all the tedious people stayed there,
all the exciting people left right, and they've just been
they've just been marinating for hundreds of years, and people
who were too cowardly to leave Great Britain, you know,
So of course I think we're great off having big
(19:39):
economies in huge countries and in America running the world
as Britain has to sit sadly by. That's him crazy
to them that they're not in charge.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Right, That's why I keep telling her Man. I was like, hey,
you guys are falling behind, need go take over something
real quick.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
They kind of even hang on to Scotland.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
That's what I love America.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
I tell you, it's weird coming here and you look
at it from the outside and you see the wacky
people sort of describing America. I think of like James
Brown and Kanye and they seem crazy compared to the
people around them. But then now that I'm in America,
you go, oh, they're the guy's doing the most accurate
representation how the country feels. It's a guy just on
his acoustic guitar mumbling quietly. You go, there's nothing like that.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, no, it's it's pretty spot on, and you you
actually get a pretty accurate representation of what America is
like living in Austin, Man, you get everything. You get
rich people, you get not rich people. And I saw
you were doing your podcast under one of the overpasses
there in Austin. That looked like, so.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
You're their popular hotspots. Ye, people love congregating under the bridges.
I don't know what that is that people love being
under intopassed bridges so much in America? Everywhere I go,
I see groups of communities under the bridges, and I
know that looks. I mean there must be something going
for it.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, it's probably just you know, getting away from the rain.
It's a lot easier to smoke when there's no water,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Well, don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I can come get you, right, bro is uh so
you're coming here? H We got new hour working on.
It's gonna be awesome. There's two shows at Helium this Friday.
Is there anything else you're getting excited about that's gonna
happen either later this year? You're looking forward to next
year that we can be on the lookout for.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
We just work our way out slowly, you know, we
climb that ladder. Let people know what we're doing and
the good the good times we're having. I mean, I'm
looking forward to coming to Indianapolis. I would like to
see personally the birthplace of Steve McQueen. I'm told that's there, Yeah,
somewhere many other things as well, all the other things.
(21:50):
I mean, the founder of the Ski Channel and the
Tennis Channel. He's from Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
You know that I did not, Dude, I did not.
We do That's what I do.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
John Wisiam Jones.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
At He's they got to have him buried somewhere, right,
we'll find that.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
And I'm just looking at all the very famous Indianapolis people.
I've got them committed to memory in the corner of
my mind.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah. See, you're ready, bro, you're ready for this Friday already. Uh.
Speaking of the good times you've been having, I gotta
say thank you because I'm a dumb guy, so I
don't know you know too much of like the high
Wife and fancy eating. I didn't know what beef Berg
and Jong was until I heard about you having a
bit too much of it. So I appreciate you for that.
(22:36):
I've learned something follow.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I had a terrible piece related but I think also
having had a massive, you know, a solitary bottle of bouchelet,
I just contributed to their problems as well. Now you
tell me did Kut run a good did he stay
in Indianapolis? I would like to go and see what
it could one won a good was from dude.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
You can keep saying names. I'm uh beef Berg and
yawn as far as I go.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Yeah, you must know him slow to House five, I
have become unstuck in time one of the great American authors.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Absolutely. Yeah, you can tell by this conversation. I read
a lot, so I definitely know he's a treat.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
You're gonna love him.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I looked at crying out.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Now, please please read cats Cradling your free time.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, I'll get to that right after my Captain Underpants books. Bro,
But where where can people find you on social media
and uh get all the content that they need? Everything?
James McCann related.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
It's a j d F McCann dot com for the
tickets and it's just I need a better handle j
d F. McCann M double c A double N. I
need something that's catchy like champagne poppy or something but
nuts j d F mc c A n N. You
(23:54):
get that on instagrammar on the on the Google.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
There we go. Bro. Well, hey, I know you're gonna
this weekend. I appreciate you taking the time to talk
to me.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
I look forward to meeting all the beautiful people of Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
At the show.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
I'm told you have the greatest children's museum in the world.
I'm not bringing my kids, but I did. I have
genuinely that stayed in my heart for a long time.
I'm told you can touch a dinosaur bone.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. All right, Well, touch
a dinosaur bone and go murder a helium this Friday. Bro,
Thank you, brother, you have a good one. Thanks Money, Money, Money, Money,
I still speaking that that should not have made it
to the rest of us. This is Inside Thoughts.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Check check check one two three. Welcome back to Inside Thoughts.
I appreciate you pressing play. How's your week going, huh?
I hope it's going good. Got a cool interview for
you at the end of the podcast with comedian James McCann.
Super funny dude. He's going to be at Helium here
in Indye this Friday, So if you're listening to this
(00:36):
and you're in the area, go see it. Man. But yeah, hope, hope.
You're having a good week. You got to got to
be having a better week than the guy who's supposed
to be making sure taiwan All makes money. Taiwan All
makes you want to play with legos quite a lot,
quite a bit. In fact, the guy, the guy who's
(01:00):
I'm trying to make sure the profits share a taiwanow
is good for Q three walked into work today. He's like, gosh, shit,
we was half because you know, like that's how everything
is now, where you know, somebody says something, half the
people are like, well, well, I'm not taking Taiwano anymore.
I don't want trains I don't want trains. And then
(01:23):
the other half of people are like, Taiwanov is actually amazing.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
I'm gonna have all of it in one bottle. I'm
just gonna take the whole bottle.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
You're gonna die. You're not gonna get autism, but you're
you're gonna die. That was such a crazy headline to read.
Oh man, we have a great, big autism announcement. It's
coming all the TikTok. Divergent people are like, finally, I
want to know the reason you don't have autism. There's
(01:57):
like there's some people that do have like actual autism,
and then some people who are just annoying and bad
at being people, and they're.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Like, I need a reason for why my personality sucks.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Do you get overstimulated talking to people?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I do. Do you not make eye contact?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah I do.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
You're autistic, I know. No you're not. No, you're not.
You're just a person who stared at your phone for
so long to now when you look at another human
being and you see somebody else's soul through their eyes,
should get a little uncomfortable because you're used to looking
at the black death, the infinite black death, or white death,
(02:39):
whichever screen setting you have on your phone. But it's okay,
we're all dumb and we all have the tism. Apparently
that's what TikTok says. And if you've had Taiwan all,
you probably have it too. Yeah, you like legos? Do
you want to build them? I like legos when I
was a kid. I don't have autism though. Also, I'm
(03:03):
pretty sure my mom took Thailand all and probably smoked
some weed. But you know, what are you gonna do?
That was another thing, like I'm not blaming my mom
for making me as stupid as I am, but I
do have some questions. Like when I was a kid,
you know how most most toddlers are walking around with
like a bottle full of milk. You know, No, the
(03:25):
babies like milk.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
It's you gotta get the milk for the nutrients or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It is. Just you got your baby bottleful of milk, right,
My baby bottle was filled with apple juice. So if
you were like, if you've ever had a conversation with me,
or you've ever you know, listened to more than thirty
seconds of this podcast, and you're like, I wonder why
(03:49):
this guy is so stupid because I was drinking apple
juice from age like one to five. Every single day.
That sugar was just smacking my head every day. Gotta
wake up, gotta get my baba. No wonder I have
a nicotine problem, dude, you know what I mean, Gotta
have my zin.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Why God, because I don't have my baba with apple
juice anymore anyway.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
It's toughy and stupid. It's even worse, like when you
get like the humbling, humbling realization from something else that
you're not expecting that you are stupid. Because like if
you're talking to a human being and they're like, hey,
you're dumb, You're like, yeah, I was expecting that, you
know what I mean, we've been we've been talking for
more than you know, five minutes. You're picking up that
(04:35):
I'm not very smart. I get that. Or like if
you mess up something at work, you like, yeah, I know,
I don't know why you gave me so much responsibility.
I am dumb, And everybody's like, yeah, that's conabor or fault.
But when you get it from a place you weren't
expecting it, it's it's jarring, humbling, humblingly jarring, just using
(04:55):
words now. I was like, you know, when you type
in a chat GPT when you need it to write
some something you don't want to write because I don't
want to use my brain for four and a half
seconds to think. I'm like, yeah, chat GPT, do this
bullshit that I don't want to do, but you do
it where it's like, hey, write me this using my voice,
(05:16):
and chat GPT's like, okay, got it. And then it
writes the dumbest fucking paragraph I've ever read. And he's like, oh,
I wrote this using your voice in the first sentence
is dumb and moron. And here's what I think. It's like,
oh shit, that's chat GPT taking all of my data,
all the things that I've input into it, like googling
(05:38):
how to make meatballs and will I die if I
eat this? Does my cat fart? It's taken all that
stuff and then all of my search history and just
shooting out the dumbest paragraph you've ever seen. And I
can't be mad at the robot for that. That's my fault.
I'm stupid. The robot's not dumb. It's a reflection of
(06:01):
what I've given it stuff. And so Amy actually said
one of the funniest things I've ever heard, and she
apparently just like made it up on the fly. Is
like somebody we were we were driving down the street
and somebody, you know, just had too much stupid juice
that day, was just not knowing how to drive. And
she was like, someone left the door open? Did they?
(06:23):
And I just go what She was like, Hey, someone
left the door open. And I was like, is that
a thing British people say? And she's like no, Like
that's all. I don't know why that's funny, but that's
my new favorite. Like bless your heart, you're so dumb.
It's like, ah, somebody left the door open. Huh. I
don't even know why it makes sense, Like I guess
you know someone left the door open. You're too stupid
(06:46):
to you know, not stay in the house. You just
walked out into traffic, or you've just started walking around
you got lost, or you're so dumb someone left the
door open, you just walked right. I don't know what
it is, but I love it and I'm gonna to
continue to use it. So anytime someone does something dumb,
mostly me, she'd be like, Oh, someone left the door open. Huh.
(07:09):
Speaking of being dumb, I found out that I didn't
find this out. I live in Indiana, but I found
out on social media that Illinois talks down to Indiana
like as a as a state I have never lived in,
like the dumb state. Like I grew up in Georgia,
(07:30):
so we would make fun of Alabama, South Carolina, Florida.
Then I lived in Ohio, and everybody makes fun of Ohio,
but it's really just some propaganda made by Detroit to
make them feel better about, you know, being a shittier city.
And Ohio still looks at West Virginia like oh yeah,
well we're not you and Kentucky because they want to
(07:50):
be Ohio real bad. But then I lived in Texas.
They make fun of Oklahoma and Louisiana, and then North Carolina,
who makes fun of South Carolina and Virginia. I've never
lived in the Yeah, we are those dumb fucks over
there state. I get, I get on social media and
I'm watching this video of like this bar. You know,
it's like one of those things like.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
I found a hidden jam and bad baby.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I'm milk at this place because Amy sends me videos. Now,
so my algorithm's gotten compromised. It's not just sports and
video games anymore. It's this weekend, you could do this.
And I go check the comments and it's a bunch
of people going, yeah, this place looks sick, but it's
in Indiana, so that means it sucks. And somebody was like,
where do you live? And they're like, Illinois obviously the
(08:35):
better state. Illinois gay like, no, you live in Indiana,
you dumb fuck. And I gotta be honest, I did
not care for that. It really it made me feel
some type of way. I live here now. Everybody here
is nice. I enjoy these people. They're not dumb. And
Illinois has no room to talk because they have one
(08:56):
good city, Chicago. Outside of that, you guys are basically Alabama,
except shittier because it's cold. There's nothing going on up
in Illinois.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Oh, I want to go to Champagne Illinois.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
No, you don't, no reason to go to Illinois. So
I'm not an Indiana Hoosiers fan even a little bit.
But Indiana and Illinois were playing this past weekend, and
I wanted Indiana to win. I felt like some kind
of pride it was in me. I wanted the Hoosiers
to win. I felt it, and I gotta be honest.
(09:32):
I thought I drank a little too much when I
saw that score sixty three to ten. Jesus, so take
that Illinois. Yeah, I got Indiana pride. Now, it's probably
not a good thing. I just I don't like living
in the dumb state, you know what I mean, especially
when like a state that has no business making fun
(09:52):
of another state starts talking shit like if people in
Chicago are you know, talking shit about Indianapolis? Like, okay,
you got a case, right, It's like New York and Boston,
So I get you got a case. It's fine. It's
just it's it's tough finding out that you live in
(10:12):
the dumb state. But I h I don't mind people
being dumb. I get angry when people try and treat
you like an idiot like this. I saw this today
and it pissed me off. What Chipotle sent out this thing.
It's like happy free case of DA Day. To celebrate
(10:34):
national Case of THEA Day, Chipotle is offering up free
case ideas if you order twenty dollars worth of food
or more. Hey guess what, that's not a deal.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Bro, Yeah, We're actually gonna offer you, dumb fucks some
cheesy bread that costs us no money. We're probably gonna
throw all the extra stuff away that we're gonna use
to make this.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
If you spend more than twenty at your pole, I
guess what. There's no reason to spend more than twelve
bucks at Chipotle. You go in, you get a burrito,
you get a bowl, you're out.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Well, you could get a free case of da if.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
You spend twelve dollars in order the case of dea
what is it two dollars? But they're trying to trick you.
I don't like that. That stuff drives me up the wall, man,
Like that's that's the kind of dumb like you used
to talk to children, you know what I mean, Well,
why can I do that? Well, because if you do it,
(11:31):
you'll die. Okay, I won't do it. That's like that
kind of logic. Well, if you spend twenty bucks, you
get a free case of DIA. And I know like
they're doing it because they have the analytics, the research
that they found. Hey, these fat pieces of shit will
order this if we throw them a free case of Doa.
(11:52):
That's the kind of stuff that drives me up the
wall man, Like I remember, I've done it. I am
a dumb person. But you know, when you're a kid,
you find out out who the dumber kid is. And
when you're a little kid, you're a little socio pass,
so you try and take advantage of it a little bit.
Remember there was this kid in my neighborhood grown up.
I think we were like six or seven years old,
(12:14):
and it was back when we both really liked baseball cards.
He had a Michael Jordan White Sox baseball card, super rare,
super cool, but his favorite player was Andrew Jones. And
I had two Andrew Jones baseball cards. One of them
was a holographic one and the other one was just
Andrew Jones making a sick catch. So I didn't really
(12:36):
care about the holographic one because I already had Andrew
Jones making a sick catch. And the holographic one was
like one of those tops. We're gonna make this look
like a special edition, but it's actually worthless because we
printed four hundred thousand of them. So he was like,
I like that card. I was like, I'll trade you, bro,
I'll give you the Andrew Jones and you give me
the Michael Jordan. He goes, oh, my dad said, I
(12:57):
can't give away the Michael Jordan. I was like, dude, ude,
how bad do you want this Andrew Jones wan? It's shiny? Look,
look how cool The Michael Jordan's not even shiny? And
you really like Andrew Jones. I don't like Andrew Jones.
And guess what. We made that trade? And then I
went home thinking that stupid idiot and his dad came
(13:18):
over to my house and was like talking to my parents,
were like, hey, our kids made a deal. I'm not
okay with this and uh and I was like, here, listen,
I'll give him two extra cards. But we made a
deal and he really likes Andrew Jones. And the kid
was like, oh, okay, I'll take that. And the ded
was like, no, he took the deal. I still have
(13:40):
the Michael Jordan card somewhere. That's what Chapaltway is trying
to do. Hey, this case of deal is nice and shiny.
It's worth two bucks, dude, Why why don't you give
me an extra twenty bucks and I'll give you this
well shiny card. Stupid treating us like idiots. Man, by
the way, don't be don't be a mean person. If
(14:00):
you know that someone's dumber than you, Even if you
are dumb, don't take advantage of them. You know what
I mean. It's evil, evil dumb people. All right, let's uh,
let's get to your headline of the week and then
get into this interview with comedian James McCann. This is
another one where companies are treating us like idiots. Samsung's
(14:24):
eighteen hundred dollars fridges will start showing you ads. Samsung
is introducing advertisements to its Family Hubs smart refrigerators in
the US through a new software update, so you don't
even get to choose, it's just gonna update right up
to your fridge. These ads will appear on the refrigerator's
cover screen while it's idle, and you can choose to
(14:47):
not have the ads if you pay an extra monthly subscription.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Go kill yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Dude, who is the person at Samsung that was allowed
to make this decision and not be put in jail?
You already paid almost two grand for a refrigerator. You're
just keeping Deli meat cool, That's all you're doing, making
sure the milk done go bad. It's a fridge. Maybe
(15:16):
you know you're living upper middle class life and you
got the water. Uh, you got the water filter in there?
Ice cold fridge water. You're living high. You're like, no,
I got I'm making a bunch of money. I got
a flex on my home appliances. I need I need
a TV screen on my fridge. Dumb fuck? You need
(15:37):
a TV screen for so I can tell you your
heart rate every time you go touch the handle to
grab out some Totino's pizza rolls out of the freezer,
you fat piece of shit. Actually, you know what, I'm
on boarder with Samsung now. I've talked myself into it.
If you have one of those smart refrigerators, you deserve
to have advertisements put on your screen that say.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Hey, for a free national case of DA day, Chipotle's
offering you a free case of d if you make
twenty dollars and more purchases.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
What do you need a TV screen on your fridge
for now? I'm back off it. That's like too greedy,
that's too greedy. You already spent the two grand you
put food in it. It's probably like, you know, twenty
two hundred dollars sitting there, and they're like, all right,
we gotta make more money off these people. Yep. Run
(16:29):
the ads. So now while it's idle, you're just gonna be,
you know, in the dark. You wake up in the
middle of the night, go take a piss, and you're like,
I'm gonna go get some water. And you walk past
your fridge and it's hey.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
I'm Mario Lopez with Entertainment Tonight.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
You're like, dude, what the fuck am I at a
gas station in my own house? What are we doing?
The greed's gotten out of control. But also if you
have a TV on your fridge, like, that's it's too
much as you're kind of getting what you deserve. All right.
That's uh, that's enough. Let's get to this interview with
the very funny comedian from Australia, James mccairn. What's going on, bro?
(17:09):
You excited to come to Andy.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
I'm filled with joy at the prospect of coming to Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Have you have you been to Andy yet? I know
you've been traveling all around the place, but have you
stopped here?
Speaker 4 (17:21):
I got to open up. I'm done my own show,
but I got to open up for Shane Guilt here
and I got to have these shrimp cocktails that have
stayed with me ever since I actually ordered the sauce
to my house Hot Sauce. You can get it on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Yeah that'll, uh, that'll clear out some thoughts in your
head real quick. Man.
Speaker 4 (17:39):
No one told me before. It'll just be a nice,
normal shrimp cocktail. And then, boy, it's something. Is it
the Elmo's Firehouse? Am I getting that right?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Saint Elmo's Steakhouse?
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Yeah, Saint Elmo's Steakhouse. I mean it felt like a
fire house in my head.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
I loved it.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
I'm really looking forward to getting another one of those
bad boys up the up the cousin.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Yeah, well we'll get you some of that. Man. But
how's how's the tour been going. You're on your big
USA comedy tour. How's it been? I am tired so
a lot.
Speaker 4 (18:11):
You know, when you've become more successful, you're allowed to, uh,
you know, you spend a full weekend somewhere. But at
the moment I show up in the place, I do
two shows that day and I fly that to another place. O. Man, boy, brutal,
A lot of fine, but I'm staying healthy, you know,
and I'll be ready for the show.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
I'm glad to hear that. We I'm sure a lot
of people just watched your Black Israelite Special or mini
special that you just dropped a couple of weeks ago.
Can we expect new material or are we doing a
bunch more stuff on Israel.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Leaving that in the bas We've done enough of that,
And uh, it's all so fresh and new and secret,
but all will have seen it before. That doesn't mean
it's good, but it'll be new.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I'm sure it'll be good, bro. But I wanted to
ask because my girlfriend's British, so she always tells me
that Australians are kind of insane human beings. How is
your insanity being Australian matching up with the insanity of
Americans that you get to deal with when you're at
comedy shows.
Speaker 4 (19:18):
I mean, look, if I if I can be negative
about the British, I mean, all the tedious people stayed there,
all the exciting people left right, and they've just been
they've just been marinating for hundreds of years, and people
who were too cowardly to leave Great Britain, you know,
So of course I think we're great off having big
(19:39):
economies in huge countries and in America running the world
as Britain has to sit sadly by. That's him crazy
to them that they're not in charge.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Right, That's why I keep telling her Man. I was like, hey,
you guys are falling behind, need go take over something
real quick.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
They kind of even hang on to Scotland.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
That's what I love America.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
I tell you, it's weird coming here and you look
at it from the outside and you see the wacky
people sort of describing America. I think of like James
Brown and Kanye and they seem crazy compared to the
people around them. But then now that I'm in America,
you go, oh, they're the guy's doing the most accurate
representation how the country feels. It's a guy just on
his acoustic guitar mumbling quietly. You go, there's nothing like that.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, no, it's it's pretty spot on, and you you
actually get a pretty accurate representation of what America is
like living in Austin, Man, you get everything. You get
rich people, you get not rich people. And I saw
you were doing your podcast under one of the overpasses
there in Austin. That looked like, so.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
You're their popular hotspots. Ye, people love congregating under the bridges.
I don't know what that is that people love being
under intopassed bridges so much in America? Everywhere I go,
I see groups of communities under the bridges, and I
know that looks. I mean there must be something going
for it.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, it's probably just you know, getting away from the rain.
It's a lot easier to smoke when there's no water,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Well, don't know.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I can come get you, right, bro is uh so
you're coming here? H We got new hour working on.
It's gonna be awesome. There's two shows at Helium this Friday.
Is there anything else you're getting excited about that's gonna
happen either later this year? You're looking forward to next
year that we can be on the lookout for.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
We just work our way out slowly, you know, we
climb that ladder. Let people know what we're doing and
the good the good times we're having. I mean, I'm
looking forward to coming to Indianapolis. I would like to
see personally the birthplace of Steve McQueen. I'm told that's there, Yeah,
somewhere many other things as well, all the other things.
(21:50):
I mean, the founder of the Ski Channel and the
Tennis Channel. He's from Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
You know that I did not, Dude, I did not.
We do That's what I do.
Speaker 4 (22:00):
John Wisiam Jones.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
At He's they got to have him buried somewhere, right,
we'll find that.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
And I'm just looking at all the very famous Indianapolis people.
I've got them committed to memory in the corner of
my mind.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah. See, you're ready, bro, you're ready for this Friday already. Uh.
Speaking of the good times you've been having, I gotta
say thank you because I'm a dumb guy, so I
don't know you know too much of like the high
Wife and fancy eating. I didn't know what beef Berg
and Jong was until I heard about you having a
bit too much of it. So I appreciate you for that.
(22:36):
I've learned something follow.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
I had a terrible piece related but I think also
having had a massive, you know, a solitary bottle of bouchelet,
I just contributed to their problems as well. Now you
tell me did Kut run a good did he stay
in Indianapolis? I would like to go and see what
it could one won a good was from dude.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
You can keep saying names. I'm uh beef Berg and
yawn as far as I go.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Yeah, you must know him slow to House five, I
have become unstuck in time one of the great American authors.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Absolutely. Yeah, you can tell by this conversation. I read
a lot, so I definitely know he's a treat.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
You're gonna love him.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
I looked at crying out.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Now, please please read cats Cradling your free time.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, I'll get to that right after my Captain Underpants books. Bro,
But where where can people find you on social media
and uh get all the content that they need? Everything?
James McCann related.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
It's a j d F McCann dot com for the
tickets and it's just I need a better handle j
d F. McCann M double c A double N. I
need something that's catchy like champagne poppy or something but
nuts j d F mc c A n N. You
(23:54):
get that on instagrammar on the on the Google.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
There we go. Bro. Well, hey, I know you're gonna
this weekend. I appreciate you taking the time to talk
to me.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
I look forward to meeting all the beautiful people of Indianapolis.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
At the show.
Speaker 4 (24:08):
I'm told you have the greatest children's museum in the world.
I'm not bringing my kids, but I did. I have
genuinely that stayed in my heart for a long time.
I'm told you can touch a dinosaur bone.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. All right, Well, touch
a dinosaur bone and go murder a helium this Friday. Bro,
Thank you, brother, you have a good one. Thanks Money, Money, Money, Money,
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