July 1, 2026 • 24 mins
Nick talks about playstation, drugs in butts and, has a conversation with comedian Ruby Setnik
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Check check check one two three. We're live, baby, Welcome
back to the podcast. Thank you for pressing play. Got
a cool interview for you at the end of the podcast,
as always with comedian Ruby Setnik. She's hilarious. She's coming
to Raleigh in October, so make sure if you're listening
to Raleigh you go get tickets to see her. You
can go follow her on Instagram at Ruby Setnik. She
(00:26):
was awesome. I got to open for her this past
weekend in Indie. I'm telling you don't miss when she
comes through because she's awesome. But you'll hear about that
in her interview. How you doing. You're having a good week.
I know you're not doing as good as me because
I got my Facebook consumer Privacy user profile litigation settlement
(00:50):
for six dollars and thirty eight cents. Don't you broke
bitches talk to me about having money. I got more
money than all y'all. Bro you pour pieces of shit.
Six dollars and thirty eight cents. I don't even know
what a consumer privacy user profile litigation settlement is, but
I can't imagine it means that my data got breach,
(01:12):
somebody took it and sold it. To somebody else for
a little more than six dollars and thirty eight cents.
But thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. I can sweep peacefully knowing
that that's how much my Facebook's worth. Hey, how much
should we give this guy?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You know, we kind of gave away all of his
personal shensheit of information. Yeah, fuck them chicks, dollars tell
them to get out of here.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, that's it's basically what happened. That's what all companies
are doing to us now. Dude, we are all worth
about six dollars and thirty eight cents to all these companies.
They don't even care at this point. Dude, I read
today that uh PlayStation said starting January twenty twenty eight,
(01:53):
they're going to stop making physical copies of video games.
So if you want to get a new video game
after that, it's just it's gonna be digital. We're not
gonna own anything, bro. Like it's nuts. And I know
you're thinking, like, well, I don't play video games, so
I don't care. This is how it starts. They do
(02:13):
like this is the easiest thing to do, Like they
did it with streaming services and movies, so like, oh well,
I bought Toy Story two on Paramount, but then Paramount
lost its right, so now I can't watch toys. Now
I got go on Disney. I gotta sign up for Disney.
We don't own anything. We're just chasing every single subscription.
(02:36):
It's fucking ridiculous. It's just greedy as hell. And there
was a bill that got passed yesterday too. It was
to make sure that old games were still playable after
the servers or the licensing ran out. It got the vote,
got killed in the Senate because the politicians don't care.
(03:00):
On Microsoft, they're all throwing the politicians a shit ton
of money going yeah, no, no, no, you wanna know what's
gonna happen. We're gonna put this game out digitally, and
then when our servers don't have enough space for it anymore,
we're gonna delete it. And those people are gonna cry,
fuck it. We'll send them six dollars and thirty eight cents.
That'll make them happy, right, It's like that's how much
(03:23):
they're like just waving us away, like get out here, please,
you're you're complaining, you're crying, Please take your six dollars.
Don't look me in the eyes. It's crazy. Man, I
know you might be thinking, I don't play video games.
I don't care. That's how everything works. The CEOs are like, yes,
I need to make a little bit more money because
(03:44):
I don't have enough yachts. Actually, I need another house.
The rich guy next to me got another house. I
need one. So I'm gonna need you to make this
law that makes me more money. Yeah, but sir, as
a politician, I'm supposed to be protecting the rights of
my constituents. Yeah, what if I give you a bunch
of money? Well, okay, fuck my constituents. How much you
(04:06):
said you're gonna give them in the settlement? Six dollars
and thirty eight cents. Oh, they should be happy for that.
It's crazy, dude. It's just like, I don't know. It's
one of those things where you're like reading it and
you're like, Hi, we we should fight the power. We
must make a change. And then my hypocrite ass is
(04:28):
pre ordering Grand Theft Auto six. I pre ordered a
digital copy of a video game. That's how stupid I am. Dude.
Back in the day, when you pre ordered a game,
it's so that you could get it the first night
it came out. When you had to like go stand
at a Blockbuster at eleven thirty, stand around with thirty
other people, going, oh, yo, this game's supposed to be sick.
(04:49):
The graphics are really cool, Yeah, but what about the story?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Fuck the story. You know we're gonna get in there
and just kill hookers, that kind of stuff. And you
wanted to get it because if you didn't pre order it,
everybody would go get the game and then you'd have
to wait until they restock. Your buddies had already beaten
the story mode. They were on online multiplayer. At that point,
you were falling behind, so you had to pre order it.
But now they're like, yeah, why don't you pre order
(05:15):
this digital copy of a game that doesn't run out
just so that we can run our numbers up for
Q two. And what did we do? Y' y'all? Y'all,
y'all'll do that. Thank you, Rockstar. This game's going to
be sick. We've been waiting on it for fifteen years. Rockstar.
I believe. I believe the number was six billion dollars
(05:36):
they made with pre orders. It doesn't sound real. I
could be making that up. This is a podcast run
by a nobody I could be lying, but that's what
I saw on the internet. I choose to believe. So
it's like, you want to change something, but also I
really want to play Grand Theft Auto six, So you know,
like you compromise your morals. You're happy with your six
(05:57):
dollars and thirty eight cents, Go fuck yourself, get out here.
That's basically what happens. Man. It's whatever. AI is going
to take all of our jobs anyway, everything's everything is
what it is. We're done, wrap it up, it's over.
There's no hope. Each your eat your video game, or
each your hamburgers while you're playing your video games. Hamburgers
(06:20):
aren't even going to be made by human beings. I
just read this thing that said scientists developed a program
called Burger AI. Those like the dumbest people in AI.
All the other AI people are.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Like, we're going to make security systems that we're going
to make the new monetary currency, and we're going to
boo boo book.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
There were guys that were just like, you know, one
of the robots made hamburgers.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
They're like, Jesus crises guys again.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Who let them in here? Get them out of here?
But anyway, they made burger AI. They trained it on
thousands of burger recipes to learn what people love about flavor, texture, nutrition,
and even sustainability. I've never heard someone describe a hamburger
and make it gross, but flavor, texture, nutrients, just say.
(07:08):
We trained it on burger recipes to find the best one.
What about the sustainability of the hamburger? Can you not
make my burger sound gross? And then they did a
taste test with blind taste tests, and two of the
AI designed burgers actually matched or beat a Big Mac
(07:29):
in flavor and overall enjoyment. We still got time, humans,
We still got time. Dude. They can only make one
that tastes as good as a fucking big mac. Big
macs are gross, dude. You remember the first time like
you tried a big Mac because you were like, I
gotta try big Mac. I had never tried one before.
I think the first one, the first time I had one,
(07:49):
I was like twelve, because up until that point in
my McDonald's career, I could only eat like the kids
meal hamburgers. I was wettle. I grew a little bit
and I was like no, no, no, I'm big boy. Now
let me get that big Mac had it gross. I
tried it, I don't know, probably six seven years later,
(08:12):
and I was like, maybe it was just my young
taste button. Try it again. Just fucking big Mac suck.
And AI can only make a burger that's as good
as a big Mac, So we still got time. We're
still winning. You see that thing. Ford had to rehire
three hundred human engineers because they finally figured out that
(08:32):
AI wasn't getting it done.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Hey, guys, you know how we just wigd you off
and kind of ruin your life, made you think about
picking a new career field. Will you come back because
the robot's just not getting it done?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, sure. Are you guys gonna pay us what we
were making?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
No, we're gonna pay you wes, But aren't you happy
to have your job back?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
We're winning right now. Everything in our economy is hinging
on AI being good and Ford's rehiring human beings and
burger AI's making fucking big Max. Everything's okay. I'm sorry
I'm being negative. It's not I'm not trying to be negative.
Just reading the news I am hyped about speaking of
(09:15):
good news. The uh world cups still going on, and
if you haven't gotten into it. If you want to
do a dude, I don't go fuck about shocker, shocker, stupid.
I witter we. I had somebody call call into the
radio the other days. I was talking about the World Cup,
like the Koreans and the Mexicans were like having a party.
It was awesome, Like everybody's just super excited about the
(09:37):
World Cup and being in a different country and seeing
what's cool about that country, and everybody's having a good time.
So I was talking about that and this guy calls
up and he goes, Hi, Mayan, why why do you
keep talking about the World Cup? And I was like,
I don't know. It's kind of like the biggest thing
going on in the world right now. He's like, well,
I don't know. Me and my buddies were just wondering
why you keep talking about it, because in that a
(09:57):
foreign sport, it's like, come on, dude, enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Man.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
It's it's the biggest thing going on right now. And
the US finally has a good team. They're playing tonight.
Hopefully they beat Bosnia and her goad. I'm not even
gonna try to her Goatsia. I don't know. We're playing
two fucking countries. That's how good we are. They want
to keep us from winning. They're throwing multiple countries at us.
(10:23):
We're gonna win, and then we probably end up got
a playing end up having to play Belgium with hopefully
we beat them too. But I'm telling you, get into it.
It's fun. Uh My girlfriend Amy, she doesn't like soccer
because even though she's British and you would think that
(10:43):
they're you know, brought up loving the game of football.
Her whole family thinks that soccers for pussies because they're
a rugby family. But I keep having the games on
and I don't know if it was Yes, it had
to be the day before where it was Brazil and Japan.
That game was sick, and then I forget who was
(11:05):
the next game. I think it was Germany Paraguay and
they're going back and forth. Germany should have beat them
on paper by you know, two three goals. Everybody's like,
Paraguay sucks us beat them. Germany's gonna make a mockery
of Paraguay. Man they end up going to pks and
like that, you felt the pressure turn the volume up,
(11:27):
the commentators going nuts. Aims starts rooting for the Paraguayans,
and she's like, oh, I lock sucking Now this is
fun because they won and everybody in Paraguay they like
pan the camera to you know, back in Paraguay and
everybody's losing their shit. It was the coolest thing that
ever happened to them, you know what I mean. It's
like little stuff like that. You're like, Okay, this is cool.
(11:48):
I gotta get I gotta get into this. This is awesome.
But I did feel bad. Well, I guess I didn't
really feel bad because Sah was the Gemmans, But did
you guys see the uh they were like trying to
figure out one last person to take the penalty kick
when they were doing the shootout at the end, and
(12:11):
there was like three German players that didn't want to
take the last one because of the pressure, because of
the implications, and so they sent out like a center back,
one of their defenders or something that had never take
a penalty kick before, and he just sent it to
the moon. And at first everybody was mad at that guy.
They're like, how do you do that, dude? Come on,
(12:33):
you're a professional. And they're like, oh, he's never taken
a PK before, and then they go back and look
at the video, and he was the only one who
was like, yeah, I'll go up and do it. All
the other players said no. And you want to call
him soft, you want to get mad at him. But
then you got to remember that other countries take soccer
(12:54):
a lot more serious than we do in the States.
If they miss that and they're supposed to make it,
they're getting death threats. They probably can't live in Germany anymore,
you know what I mean, Like we already have crazy
people here DM and death threats the you know, people
in the major leagues or the NFL if they don't
(13:17):
hit their parway bro in Germany say I'll put you
on the train if you miss the PK. So I
gotta be honest. I don't fault them for not stepping
up and taking that penalty kick, but shout out to Paraguay.
All right, let's uh, let's get to your headline of
the week, and then we'll get to this interview with
comedian Ruby set Nick. This is a this is a
(13:40):
Hall of Fame story right here. A woman in Florida
denied owning a bag of cocaine that fell out of
her buttocks while getting booked into jail. She was pulled
over for a traffic violation and started getting a little
animated with the police officer, which led her to getting arrested. Which,
first of all, this whole thing could have been avoided
(14:01):
if she just played it cool. But you know, she
had cocaine in her ass, she was probably getting all
lamped up. She went through an X ray machine, which
showed that the drugs hidden in her lower region, and
when she was taken to another room, she tried to
cover her butt, but the drugs fell out and she
denied knowing anything about it, which I like, I know,
(14:24):
this person's obviously not the smartest human being on the planet,
but come on, bag of coke falls out of your butt.
You just got to be like, all right, you got me.
That's on me, because the excuse you tell your parents
when they find you with a bag of weed in
high school, you're like, oh, I don't know whose that is.
That must be my friends. You can't do that when
(14:44):
the drugs fall out of your ass. You know where'd
this come from? Well, I don't know where those drugs.
Someone must have put those in my butt when I
wasn't looking. How does that happen. You know what I mean,
it's crazy, But be safe for the fourth of July,
America's two hundred and fiftieth birthday. We've been here so long,
(15:05):
quite a bit longer than most countries. Actually, we're the
oldest country if you didn't know, are we two hundred
and fifty years? That's cool. Be safe, seriously, though, the
cops are going to be out, and also you know
you're going to be drunken, white and fireworks, so don't
do anything stupid. But let's get to this interview with
comedian Ruby Setnik. What's going on? Ruby Tie?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Driving from Nashville, Tennessee to Dayton, Ohio.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Oh man, that that's a drive that'll make you think
about life a little bit.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
As sure. As we were listening to the radio, we
listened to a what would you call it? We was
a Southern guy.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
He was preaching about the rapture, which found awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, that's a good way to pass the time. And
then I'm sure you'll pass a few hell Is Real
signs on the way up there too, So.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
Yeah, it's super optimistic.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Vines.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
On this ride, we were a little we were celebrating.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
It's my boyfriend's birthday last night, and I hung over
this morning and we had to get up really early
so that we could get to Dayton, Ohio. And then
we were renting a car, which is sort of like
a nightmare for me in terms of like just just
things that one has to do in their life.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
And then I was trying to get waters.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
At the like single vending machine at the liminal space
where you rent cars at the airport.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Which is for airplanes. So when there's cars are there,
it's just kind of like the worst.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Possible case for like an interior setting, Like it's like
the lights are like blue, you know what I mean,
and everybody wants you to leave, even the people that
you're paying. And we found the single vending machine under
a blinking hospital light, and then it wouldn't give me water,
which I desperately needed.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Like I can't express you enough.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I was like dry all the way on the inside
of my body. And then I started to hit the
vending machine. And then Ben and my boyfriend afterwards told
me that some French people were recording me on their
cell phones and we were laughing thinking about them taking
(17:19):
that footage home to the people of France and.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
They see the Americans, they hit the machines for their bread.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Then, oh my god. You know what my follow up
question was going to be, can you describe the people
who haven't seen you before what your comedy is like?
But you did a good Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
That's for his monologuing, probably, dude, that was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's my favorite part of my day so far was
a listen to that. So thank you. I'm sorry you're
having a tough day, but you know, from my.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Point of view, that was very happy to be in
the Midwest.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I'm really excited to find out about this charm that
I keep hearing about.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
I've yet to witness it, but sure it's coming.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Ohio people they're a little grouchy, so I wouldn't you know,
I wouldn't bank your Midwest niceness on them. But people
here in Indie are almost too nice, so you may
or may not enjoy that. It's one of those things
where you kind of look over your shoulders.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Balance out into like a nice nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, that'll be good. I mean that's what life is anyway,
you just bouncing out and doing nice nothing, which I
absolutely I got to ask because there's a thing people
say now that like comedians are the modern day philosophers,
and I normally don't think that that's a thing, but
I was listening to your set and you said the
(18:43):
experience of being alive is profoundly uncomfortable with little to
no relief, And I gotta be honest, I think comedians
are modern day philosophers, or at least you are.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
Well.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Can I tell you what was happening when I said that? Yeah,
I'd never said that on stage before, but that day
I found out later did I was starting to get sick,
so I so I was.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Just speaking about out I felt.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
But and I thought I was describing what life was like,
But looking back, I think I was just describing what
the beginning of.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
A fever film.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
You just had the flu, and it wasn't that day
I had.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Flu, which is profoundly uncomfortable with Really.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yes, it is well, all right, So other than being sick,
how was being up on the Netflix as a joke
introducing Showcase? Because I didn't know Netflix had a YouTube either,
so that was, Yeah, that was kind of cool to
figure out. But what was that whole experience, like like
getting brought on by Tom Papa, being in a nice
theater like what what was it? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I think, well, you know, you get it's kind of
like a lobster and a pot kind of thing in
terms of different opportunities that one gets as they continued down, Uh,
as they continue force. Like you know, by the time
something like that is happening, it's not as as you
would think because something just slightly less scary has already happened.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah, so you're used to it. Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
You're used to it.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
And then also, I mean, and that's how a standard is.
You're like, it's like you're kind of driving blying down
the highway and there's not it.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I guess it gets worse and worse, but you don't
notice it. How can I say it in a way
where it sounds like I like it? Because I do
like it.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I mean, you obviously like it. You've been doing it
for a while, you like. I kind of understand where
you're coming from though, because you started or stand up
in high school, which is crazy because I'm like trying
to think back to when I was in high school,
zero confidence and being up on stage all by yourself
in high school, Like, did you have confidence back then
(20:50):
or you just nuts or like what what what made.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
You do it? Well, let me think about that.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I think it's less confidence and more like, uh, maybe stubbornness,
like I because I knew that because most things you
can do, like most things that are creative are artistic,
you can do and and and it's not obvious whether
or not or it's not straightforward whether or not it's
any good, you know. And when I did stand up,
it was just really clear to everyone involved and it
(21:19):
was really bad and that I sort of felt like
like it was like I was being challenged.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
I was being challenged, you know, and and so that
was exciting and and then and then and then it
continued to be bad for like two for like two
for two to five years.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
It's still bad, Like it's still bad.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Not not these shows coming up at Helium Comedy.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
You could should come. You should definitely come to the
shows which will be good. I like, stand up is
difficult and remains mysterious and uh, it's it's like different
every time you do it. And that's what I like
about it is that it's but but it's not.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And I think that brings me back because when when
I think about how I feel like, deep down at
my center when I think about doing stand up and
being a comedian, that feeling is fear. I that's my
primary feeling.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Like then that's just like who I am as a person.
So yeah, that feels more like.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
My motivator than than confidence. And there and and on stage,
I do feel like I know what I'm doing and
and and but but part of that is that I'm
a fearful person. And if you're a comedian, it's just
you alone on stage with the microphone, and and it
always resets.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
To the same like like like.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Factors, and and you're in charge of the future, like
you know what you know what you're gonna say, and
you know what is improvised, and you know where for
the most part, what the beats are. You know what
I mean, and and and when you when it when
it slips into too like the unknown, that's because hopefully,
if you're a professional, it's because you've done that on
purpose and you'll allowing it to go.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
I think it's actually something.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
That very fearful people do, who don't who like to
be in control of their environment.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's like I'm
stepping off the ledge, but I know how far I'm
going to fall, so I'm doing it on purpose, just
to wake myself up a little bit. Okay, so you're
a thrill seeker. That's cool. A lot of people jump
out of planes. You're like, Hey, I wanted to go
tell jokes on stage. That's what's up, man?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Ruby. You are hilarious. We're super excited for you to
come to town. Got five shows, two Tomorrow, two Saturday,
one on Sunday, The Very Funny Ruby Set. Nick Ruby,
is there anything else you want to promote for I'll
let you get out of here.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Do I have anything that I have to promote?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
No, I don't think so, probably just those shows. You
should come to this show?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Well, hey Ruby, I appreciate you, and I'll see you
this weekend. Nick over at Heliums letting me open for you,
so I'll be with you this week.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
That's great.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
I look forward to meeting you.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
All right, we'll see how it goes back on the radio,
no problem. Have a fun drive through. All the hell
is real signs it is real.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I'll talk to you.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
The thing I want to promote at the end is
the rapture. I just learned how.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That's what's all right. Drive safe and see you tomorrow.
Check check check one two three. We're live, baby, Welcome
back to the podcast. Thank you for pressing play. Got
a cool interview for you at the end of the podcast,
as always with comedian Ruby Setnik. She's hilarious. She's coming
to Raleigh in October, so make sure if you're listening
to Raleigh you go get tickets to see her. You
can go follow her on Instagram at Ruby Setnik. She
(00:26):
was awesome. I got to open for her this past
weekend in Indie. I'm telling you don't miss when she
comes through because she's awesome. But you'll hear about that
in her interview. How you doing. You're having a good week.
I know you're not doing as good as me because
I got my Facebook consumer Privacy user profile litigation settlement
(00:50):
for six dollars and thirty eight cents. Don't you broke
bitches talk to me about having money. I got more
money than all y'all. Bro you pour pieces of shit.
Six dollars and thirty eight cents. I don't even know
what a consumer privacy user profile litigation settlement is, but
I can't imagine it means that my data got breach,
(01:12):
somebody took it and sold it. To somebody else for
a little more than six dollars and thirty eight cents.
But thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. I can sweep peacefully knowing
that that's how much my Facebook's worth. Hey, how much
should we give this guy?
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Huh?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
You know, we kind of gave away all of his
personal shensheit of information. Yeah, fuck them chicks, dollars tell
them to get out of here.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, that's it's basically what happened. That's what all companies
are doing to us now. Dude, we are all worth
about six dollars and thirty eight cents to all these companies.
They don't even care at this point. Dude, I read
today that uh PlayStation said starting January twenty twenty eight,
(01:53):
they're going to stop making physical copies of video games.
So if you want to get a new video game
after that, it's just it's gonna be digital. We're not
gonna own anything, bro. Like it's nuts. And I know
you're thinking, like, well, I don't play video games, so
I don't care. This is how it starts. They do
(02:13):
like this is the easiest thing to do, Like they
did it with streaming services and movies, so like, oh well,
I bought Toy Story two on Paramount, but then Paramount
lost its right, so now I can't watch toys. Now
I got go on Disney. I gotta sign up for Disney.
We don't own anything. We're just chasing every single subscription.
(02:36):
It's fucking ridiculous. It's just greedy as hell. And there
was a bill that got passed yesterday too. It was
to make sure that old games were still playable after
the servers or the licensing ran out. It got the vote,
got killed in the Senate because the politicians don't care.
(03:00):
On Microsoft, they're all throwing the politicians a shit ton
of money going yeah, no, no, no, you wanna know what's
gonna happen. We're gonna put this game out digitally, and
then when our servers don't have enough space for it anymore,
we're gonna delete it. And those people are gonna cry,
fuck it. We'll send them six dollars and thirty eight cents.
That'll make them happy, right, It's like that's how much
(03:23):
they're like just waving us away, like get out here, please,
you're you're complaining, you're crying, Please take your six dollars.
Don't look me in the eyes. It's crazy. Man, I
know you might be thinking, I don't play video games.
I don't care. That's how everything works. The CEOs are like, yes,
I need to make a little bit more money because
(03:44):
I don't have enough yachts. Actually, I need another house.
The rich guy next to me got another house. I
need one. So I'm gonna need you to make this
law that makes me more money. Yeah, but sir, as
a politician, I'm supposed to be protecting the rights of
my constituents. Yeah, what if I give you a bunch
of money? Well, okay, fuck my constituents. How much you
(04:06):
said you're gonna give them in the settlement? Six dollars
and thirty eight cents. Oh, they should be happy for that.
It's crazy, dude. It's just like, I don't know. It's
one of those things where you're like reading it and
you're like, Hi, we we should fight the power. We
must make a change. And then my hypocrite ass is
(04:28):
pre ordering Grand Theft Auto six. I pre ordered a
digital copy of a video game. That's how stupid I am. Dude.
Back in the day, when you pre ordered a game,
it's so that you could get it the first night
it came out. When you had to like go stand
at a Blockbuster at eleven thirty, stand around with thirty
other people, going, oh, yo, this game's supposed to be sick.
(04:49):
The graphics are really cool, Yeah, but what about the story?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Fuck the story. You know we're gonna get in there
and just kill hookers, that kind of stuff. And you
wanted to get it because if you didn't pre order it,
everybody would go get the game and then you'd have
to wait until they restock. Your buddies had already beaten
the story mode. They were on online multiplayer. At that point,
you were falling behind, so you had to pre order it.
But now they're like, yeah, why don't you pre order
(05:15):
this digital copy of a game that doesn't run out
just so that we can run our numbers up for
Q two. And what did we do? Y' y'all? Y'all,
y'all'll do that. Thank you, Rockstar. This game's going to
be sick. We've been waiting on it for fifteen years. Rockstar.
I believe. I believe the number was six billion dollars
(05:36):
they made with pre orders. It doesn't sound real. I
could be making that up. This is a podcast run
by a nobody I could be lying, but that's what
I saw on the internet. I choose to believe. So
it's like, you want to change something, but also I
really want to play Grand Theft Auto six, So you know,
like you compromise your morals. You're happy with your six
(05:57):
dollars and thirty eight cents, Go fuck yourself, get out here.
That's basically what happens. Man. It's whatever. AI is going
to take all of our jobs anyway, everything's everything is
what it is. We're done, wrap it up, it's over.
There's no hope. Each your eat your video game, or
each your hamburgers while you're playing your video games. Hamburgers
(06:20):
aren't even going to be made by human beings. I
just read this thing that said scientists developed a program
called Burger AI. Those like the dumbest people in AI.
All the other AI people are.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Like, we're going to make security systems that we're going
to make the new monetary currency, and we're going to
boo boo book.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
There were guys that were just like, you know, one
of the robots made hamburgers.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
They're like, Jesus crises guys again.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Who let them in here? Get them out of here?
But anyway, they made burger AI. They trained it on
thousands of burger recipes to learn what people love about flavor, texture, nutrition,
and even sustainability. I've never heard someone describe a hamburger
and make it gross, but flavor, texture, nutrients, just say.
(07:08):
We trained it on burger recipes to find the best one.
What about the sustainability of the hamburger? Can you not
make my burger sound gross? And then they did a
taste test with blind taste tests, and two of the
AI designed burgers actually matched or beat a Big Mac
(07:29):
in flavor and overall enjoyment. We still got time, humans,
We still got time. Dude. They can only make one
that tastes as good as a fucking big mac. Big
macs are gross, dude. You remember the first time like
you tried a big Mac because you were like, I
gotta try big Mac. I had never tried one before.
I think the first one, the first time I had one,
(07:49):
I was like twelve, because up until that point in
my McDonald's career, I could only eat like the kids
meal hamburgers. I was wettle. I grew a little bit
and I was like no, no, no, I'm big boy. Now
let me get that big Mac had it gross. I
tried it, I don't know, probably six seven years later,
(08:12):
and I was like, maybe it was just my young
taste button. Try it again. Just fucking big Mac suck.
And AI can only make a burger that's as good
as a big Mac, So we still got time. We're
still winning. You see that thing. Ford had to rehire
three hundred human engineers because they finally figured out that
(08:32):
AI wasn't getting it done.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Hey, guys, you know how we just wigd you off
and kind of ruin your life, made you think about
picking a new career field. Will you come back because
the robot's just not getting it done?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, sure. Are you guys gonna pay us what we
were making?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
No, we're gonna pay you wes, But aren't you happy
to have your job back?
Speaker 1 (08:52):
We're winning right now. Everything in our economy is hinging
on AI being good and Ford's rehiring human beings and
burger AI's making fucking big Max. Everything's okay. I'm sorry
I'm being negative. It's not I'm not trying to be negative.
Just reading the news I am hyped about speaking of
(09:15):
good news. The uh world cups still going on, and
if you haven't gotten into it. If you want to
do a dude, I don't go fuck about shocker, shocker, stupid.
I witter we. I had somebody call call into the
radio the other days. I was talking about the World Cup,
like the Koreans and the Mexicans were like having a party.
It was awesome, Like everybody's just super excited about the
(09:37):
World Cup and being in a different country and seeing
what's cool about that country, and everybody's having a good time.
So I was talking about that and this guy calls
up and he goes, Hi, Mayan, why why do you
keep talking about the World Cup? And I was like,
I don't know. It's kind of like the biggest thing
going on in the world right now. He's like, well,
I don't know. Me and my buddies were just wondering
why you keep talking about it, because in that a
(09:57):
foreign sport, it's like, come on, dude, enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Man.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
It's it's the biggest thing going on right now. And
the US finally has a good team. They're playing tonight.
Hopefully they beat Bosnia and her goad. I'm not even
gonna try to her Goatsia. I don't know. We're playing
two fucking countries. That's how good we are. They want
to keep us from winning. They're throwing multiple countries at us.
(10:23):
We're gonna win, and then we probably end up got
a playing end up having to play Belgium with hopefully
we beat them too. But I'm telling you, get into it.
It's fun. Uh My girlfriend Amy, she doesn't like soccer
because even though she's British and you would think that
(10:43):
they're you know, brought up loving the game of football.
Her whole family thinks that soccers for pussies because they're
a rugby family. But I keep having the games on
and I don't know if it was Yes, it had
to be the day before where it was Brazil and Japan.
That game was sick, and then I forget who was
(11:05):
the next game. I think it was Germany Paraguay and
they're going back and forth. Germany should have beat them
on paper by you know, two three goals. Everybody's like,
Paraguay sucks us beat them. Germany's gonna make a mockery
of Paraguay. Man they end up going to pks and
like that, you felt the pressure turn the volume up,
(11:27):
the commentators going nuts. Aims starts rooting for the Paraguayans,
and she's like, oh, I lock sucking Now this is
fun because they won and everybody in Paraguay they like
pan the camera to you know, back in Paraguay and
everybody's losing their shit. It was the coolest thing that
ever happened to them, you know what I mean. It's
like little stuff like that. You're like, Okay, this is cool.
(11:48):
I gotta get I gotta get into this. This is awesome.
But I did feel bad. Well, I guess I didn't
really feel bad because Sah was the Gemmans, But did
you guys see the uh they were like trying to
figure out one last person to take the penalty kick
when they were doing the shootout at the end, and
(12:11):
there was like three German players that didn't want to
take the last one because of the pressure, because of
the implications, and so they sent out like a center back,
one of their defenders or something that had never take
a penalty kick before, and he just sent it to
the moon. And at first everybody was mad at that guy.
They're like, how do you do that, dude? Come on,
(12:33):
you're a professional. And they're like, oh, he's never taken
a PK before, and then they go back and look
at the video, and he was the only one who
was like, yeah, I'll go up and do it. All
the other players said no. And you want to call
him soft, you want to get mad at him. But
then you got to remember that other countries take soccer
(12:54):
a lot more serious than we do in the States.
If they miss that and they're supposed to make it,
they're getting death threats. They probably can't live in Germany anymore,
you know what I mean, Like we already have crazy
people here DM and death threats the you know, people
in the major leagues or the NFL if they don't
(13:17):
hit their parway bro in Germany say I'll put you
on the train if you miss the PK. So I
gotta be honest. I don't fault them for not stepping
up and taking that penalty kick, but shout out to Paraguay.
All right, let's uh, let's get to your headline of
the week, and then we'll get to this interview with
comedian Ruby set Nick. This is a this is a
(13:40):
Hall of Fame story right here. A woman in Florida
denied owning a bag of cocaine that fell out of
her buttocks while getting booked into jail. She was pulled
over for a traffic violation and started getting a little
animated with the police officer, which led her to getting arrested. Which,
first of all, this whole thing could have been avoided
(14:01):
if she just played it cool. But you know, she
had cocaine in her ass, she was probably getting all
lamped up. She went through an X ray machine, which
showed that the drugs hidden in her lower region, and
when she was taken to another room, she tried to
cover her butt, but the drugs fell out and she
denied knowing anything about it, which I like, I know,
(14:24):
this person's obviously not the smartest human being on the planet,
but come on, bag of coke falls out of your butt.
You just got to be like, all right, you got me.
That's on me, because the excuse you tell your parents
when they find you with a bag of weed in
high school, you're like, oh, I don't know whose that is.
That must be my friends. You can't do that when
(14:44):
the drugs fall out of your ass. You know where'd
this come from? Well, I don't know where those drugs.
Someone must have put those in my butt when I
wasn't looking. How does that happen. You know what I mean,
it's crazy, But be safe for the fourth of July,
America's two hundred and fiftieth birthday. We've been here so long,
(15:05):
quite a bit longer than most countries. Actually, we're the
oldest country if you didn't know, are we two hundred
and fifty years? That's cool. Be safe, seriously, though, the
cops are going to be out, and also you know
you're going to be drunken, white and fireworks, so don't
do anything stupid. But let's get to this interview with
comedian Ruby Setnik. What's going on? Ruby Tie?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Driving from Nashville, Tennessee to Dayton, Ohio.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Oh man, that that's a drive that'll make you think
about life a little bit.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
As sure. As we were listening to the radio, we
listened to a what would you call it? We was
a Southern guy.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
He was preaching about the rapture, which found awesome.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, that's a good way to pass the time. And
then I'm sure you'll pass a few hell Is Real
signs on the way up there too, So.
Speaker 4 (15:59):
Yeah, it's super optimistic.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Vines.
Speaker 4 (16:02):
On this ride, we were a little we were celebrating.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
It's my boyfriend's birthday last night, and I hung over
this morning and we had to get up really early
so that we could get to Dayton, Ohio. And then
we were renting a car, which is sort of like
a nightmare for me in terms of like just just
things that one has to do in their life.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
And then I was trying to get waters.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
At the like single vending machine at the liminal space
where you rent cars at the airport.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Which is for airplanes. So when there's cars are there,
it's just kind of like the worst.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Possible case for like an interior setting, Like it's like
the lights are like blue, you know what I mean,
and everybody wants you to leave, even the people that
you're paying. And we found the single vending machine under
a blinking hospital light, and then it wouldn't give me water,
which I desperately needed.
Speaker 4 (16:56):
Like I can't express you enough.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
I was like dry all the way on the inside
of my body. And then I started to hit the
vending machine. And then Ben and my boyfriend afterwards told
me that some French people were recording me on their
cell phones and we were laughing thinking about them taking
(17:19):
that footage home to the people of France and.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
They see the Americans, they hit the machines for their bread.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Then, oh my god. You know what my follow up
question was going to be, can you describe the people
who haven't seen you before what your comedy is like?
But you did a good Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
That's for his monologuing, probably, dude, that was hilarious.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
That's my favorite part of my day so far was
a listen to that. So thank you. I'm sorry you're
having a tough day, but you know, from my.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Point of view, that was very happy to be in
the Midwest.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I'm really excited to find out about this charm that
I keep hearing about.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
I've yet to witness it, but sure it's coming.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Ohio people they're a little grouchy, so I wouldn't you know,
I wouldn't bank your Midwest niceness on them. But people
here in Indie are almost too nice, so you may
or may not enjoy that. It's one of those things
where you kind of look over your shoulders.
Speaker 4 (18:19):
Balance out into like a nice nothing.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, that'll be good. I mean that's what life is anyway,
you just bouncing out and doing nice nothing, which I
absolutely I got to ask because there's a thing people
say now that like comedians are the modern day philosophers,
and I normally don't think that that's a thing, but
I was listening to your set and you said the
(18:43):
experience of being alive is profoundly uncomfortable with little to
no relief, And I gotta be honest, I think comedians
are modern day philosophers, or at least you are.
Speaker 5 (18:53):
Well.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Can I tell you what was happening when I said that? Yeah,
I'd never said that on stage before, but that day
I found out later did I was starting to get sick,
so I so I was.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Just speaking about out I felt.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
But and I thought I was describing what life was like,
But looking back, I think I was just describing what
the beginning of.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
A fever film.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
You just had the flu, and it wasn't that day
I had.
Speaker 4 (19:16):
Flu, which is profoundly uncomfortable with Really.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Yes, it is well, all right, So other than being sick,
how was being up on the Netflix as a joke
introducing Showcase? Because I didn't know Netflix had a YouTube either,
so that was, Yeah, that was kind of cool to
figure out. But what was that whole experience, like like
getting brought on by Tom Papa, being in a nice
theater like what what was it? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I think, well, you know, you get it's kind of
like a lobster and a pot kind of thing in
terms of different opportunities that one gets as they continued down, Uh,
as they continue force. Like you know, by the time
something like that is happening, it's not as as you
would think because something just slightly less scary has already happened.
Speaker 5 (20:06):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah, so you're used to it. Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
You're used to it.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
And then also, I mean, and that's how a standard is.
You're like, it's like you're kind of driving blying down
the highway and there's not it.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I guess it gets worse and worse, but you don't
notice it. How can I say it in a way
where it sounds like I like it? Because I do
like it.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I mean, you obviously like it. You've been doing it
for a while, you like. I kind of understand where
you're coming from though, because you started or stand up
in high school, which is crazy because I'm like trying
to think back to when I was in high school,
zero confidence and being up on stage all by yourself
in high school, Like, did you have confidence back then
(20:50):
or you just nuts or like what what what made.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
You do it? Well, let me think about that.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I think it's less confidence and more like, uh, maybe stubbornness,
like I because I knew that because most things you
can do, like most things that are creative are artistic,
you can do and and and it's not obvious whether
or not or it's not straightforward whether or not it's
any good, you know. And when I did stand up,
it was just really clear to everyone involved and it
(21:19):
was really bad and that I sort of felt like
like it was like I was being challenged.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
I was being challenged, you know, and and so that
was exciting and and then and then and then it
continued to be bad for like two for like two
for two to five years.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
It's still bad, Like it's still bad.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Not not these shows coming up at Helium Comedy.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
You could should come. You should definitely come to the
shows which will be good. I like, stand up is
difficult and remains mysterious and uh, it's it's like different
every time you do it. And that's what I like
about it is that it's but but it's not.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And I think that brings me back because when when
I think about how I feel like, deep down at
my center when I think about doing stand up and
being a comedian, that feeling is fear. I that's my
primary feeling.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
Like then that's just like who I am as a person.
So yeah, that feels more like.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
My motivator than than confidence. And there and and on stage,
I do feel like I know what I'm doing and
and and but but part of that is that I'm
a fearful person. And if you're a comedian, it's just
you alone on stage with the microphone, and and it
always resets.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
To the same like like like.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Factors, and and you're in charge of the future, like
you know what you know what you're gonna say, and
you know what is improvised, and you know where for
the most part, what the beats are. You know what
I mean, and and and when you when it when
it slips into too like the unknown, that's because hopefully,
if you're a professional, it's because you've done that on
purpose and you'll allowing it to go.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
I think it's actually something.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
That very fearful people do, who don't who like to
be in control of their environment.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's like I'm
stepping off the ledge, but I know how far I'm
going to fall, so I'm doing it on purpose, just
to wake myself up a little bit. Okay, so you're
a thrill seeker. That's cool. A lot of people jump
out of planes. You're like, Hey, I wanted to go
tell jokes on stage. That's what's up, man?
Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Ruby. You are hilarious. We're super excited for you to
come to town. Got five shows, two Tomorrow, two Saturday,
one on Sunday, The Very Funny Ruby Set. Nick Ruby,
is there anything else you want to promote for I'll
let you get out of here.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Do I have anything that I have to promote?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
No, I don't think so, probably just those shows. You
should come to this show?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Well, hey Ruby, I appreciate you, and I'll see you
this weekend. Nick over at Heliums letting me open for you,
so I'll be with you this week.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
That's great.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
I look forward to meeting you.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
All right, we'll see how it goes back on the radio,
no problem. Have a fun drive through. All the hell
is real signs it is real.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I'll talk to you.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
The thing I want to promote at the end is
the rapture. I just learned how.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
That's what's all right. Drive safe and see you tomorrow.
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