July 15, 2025 • 62 mins
In this episode of JHWDJ, special guest Kaila Cherie, founder of Blueprint University, sits down with Dr. Jay Barnett to share her journey from making earrings as a young entrepreneur to becoming a successful businesswoman balancing mental health, motherhood, and the realities of building something lasting. She opens up about her early wins, the challenges of facing bankruptcy, and the resilience it took to start again. The conversation explores the duality of pursuing success while navigating personal struggles, the pressure of social media perceptions, and the critical importance of rest and healing along the way. Tune in and join the conversation in the socials below.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, I am excited about today's guests. As you know,
for the month of July, I am interviewing some of
the most dynamic, powerful and inspirational women from all walks
of life. And today I have a great opportunity to
sit down with the CEO, business owner, founder, all the
(00:23):
titles that you can think of of the Blueprint University,
the woman herself, the incomparable and infamous because she doesn't
like being out in the front, and I've learned this
much about her. But I'm so glad to have with
me today, miss Kayla Cherie, the founder of the Blueprint University. So,
(00:45):
Miss Kayla, welcome to the hill In community. I am
so excited to sit down and talk with you. I
met you in the green room what was that a
month couple months ago, and learn of your story, and
learn of your business and all of the exciting things
that you do. And if you haven't watched an episode,
(01:06):
so this is just heal and this is all things healing,
all things mental health, all things discussing life, your journey,
and all those great things. So I'm excited to have
you with us today. So tell me about this Blueprint
University because I kind of got a chance to walk
through what you're building and it is phenomenal, and so
(01:28):
I want to say congratulations on what you're building. But
tell me about the Blueprint University.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yes, So, Blueprint University is a trade school for entrepreneurs.
Our mission, of course is to close the gap between
small businesses and fortune five hundred companies. With that, we
take businesses from there from education, educating them being the
willhouse behind them. So we have a marketing department, we
have a media department, we have funding, finance, everything like
(01:55):
a one stop shop that these business owners would need.
So that's that's pretty much what Blueprint University is. Big
on education. We have incubator program, accelerator, start up all one.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Snapshot all of that. Now, how did you get into today?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
So I started business at twelve years old making ear
rings when basketball wise was a hit. So I used
to go downtown in ls where I grew up and
made all these earrings. So I made about thirty six
hundred dollars a week doing that.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Whoa slow, slow down, We're gonna okay, we're gonna we're
gonna go on a journey. Well, you're not for to
bypass thirty six hundred dollars a week at twelve years old? Yes,
what was in these ear rings?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
They were just a hit. They were I would make
be able to be as creative as I wanted to be,
So I would just make well hit earrings.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I'm gonna need you to sell us a picture of
these ear rings so we can flash them in the
interview because I'm fascinating. Thirty six hundred dollars at twelve
years old? And how long did you do that?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
About two or three years? So they were a hit
for about two or three years. So I did that because.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Wow, And who were your customers?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
My mother she worked at the prison, so she would
take them inside of the prison and sell them to
the women, her coworkers, of course. And then also I
would go to the beauty shops on the weekend. I
would sell to them at school around Mother's Day. I
would make mom airrings, mom bracelets, and then the kids
(03:25):
will buy them from me. So it just picked up
from there.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So now you know that, you know the next question
coming because I got to be me in three years.
How much money did you make?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Wow? I probably made about my first sixty seventy five thousand.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Dollars seventy five thousand and three years. Thirty six hundred Wow,
and you probably Moore is Trump and our rest not
gonna watch the show, so we gotta work our taxes. Yeah,
I mean, because I'm saying, because I'm sitting there calculating
thirty six hundred dollars a week, you know what I'm saying.
And in almost two weeks, you already at ten bands.
(04:06):
So I'm like ten bands every two weeks. You already
at twenty bands, at forty bands, sixty bands. Like you
did more than seventy thousand three years. I think you
probably more, huh yeah, because I'm like, the numbers ain't mathing.
So I'm like, hold on, wait a minute, CJ years yeah,
(04:27):
three yeah, and that's what And that's what I was thinking.
I was like, you probably did about half a million. Yeah,
so you you you stopped after three years? And what
do you do with all of the money that you made?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I was I didn't know it at the time, but
now looking back, I used to do a lot of
community involvement. So like with my school, I became like
the president of certain clubs, girls clubs, BSU Black Student Union,
and I would put on different talent shows and different
events for the school, and I would just donate all
(05:01):
of my money. Really, I was probably just giving it back.
And that's where my help in hands started. Like I
really just started giving a lot. But fast forward, I
was able to save a lot of that and I
started Angel investing at the age of nineteen.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Wow. So Angel invested in nineteen So what were some
of the businesses or were some of the things that
you invested in of companies.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I invested into a car wash, invested into a nel salon.
I had this one hundred and sixty unit space in
Las Vegas, Nevada, because I went to UNLV I studyed
pre medicine, okay, and right across the street still there,
it's this large building, one hundred and sixty units, and
my idea was to make it an African American Chinatown.
So with that, I went to these different businesses. One
(05:45):
of them they used to wash my car, and they
were like, I want to expand my business. I rode
up their business plan. I got them contracts with different
car rental companies, so like a big one in Vegas
was like Fox Rental, car Ace car Rental, and things
like that. So we started watching their vehicles. So I
invested a lot into that company. Initially I did a
music studio inside of that space, a restaurant, just trying
(06:08):
to build up the community in that way. So I
invested a lot.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Wow, and the one hundred and sixty unit. What was
the return once you made your first investment.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Well, that project ended up leaving me bankrupt at the
age of twenty one. So a lot of it became
a lot of Robb Peter to pay Paul. Because some
businesses did good, some didn't. I had a lot of
good partnerships and had a lot of bad partnerships too,
So some of the businesses have to take care of
the other businesses to keep a float until it just
couldn't anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, And as I'm sitting there thinking, because when guests
were talking, I love the process in real time and
to see how you have continued to move forward, because
bankruptcy would stop most people relative young. And to think
(07:02):
about you continued on what was the driver for you
after experiencing bankruptcy at such an early age.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Back then, I was just like, Okay, this is the
cards I'm dealt with now. How do I just always
been a person to keep moving forward. It's like resilience
just I can only go up from here, right, it
can't go can't get no worse. So I'm at my
lowest here. So how am I going to get through
this hurdle?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I just and who's supporting you? Like, who's around you? Like?
What are the friendship circle? Is family involved? Like what
was that like? Because I'm sitting there thinking, I'm forty three,
and I'm thinking like bankruptcy for most people, Like I've
read stories and as a therapist, some people are going
(07:50):
through bankruptcy and it's like they have done egregious things
and egregious meaning like it's like I got to take
everybody out, you know what I mean? They have died
by suicide. They I mean they felt that life was over.
And what I'm interested in knowing where did that resilience
(08:11):
come from?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
The resilience. I get to ask the question a lot,
and I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes I think it's
just was born inside of me, or it's just something
that I've learned how to get past. I don't know.
It's just I don't know how to. I've always been
a solutionist, so I don't know how not to keep
moving forward like there has to be a way, and
(08:35):
am a strong believer.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So knowing that you have to keep moving forward, I
have to go to childhood because most of what we
become is all centered around our environment in our adolescent years.
It's centered around how we are spoken to, how we
are cared for, how we are nurtured in those things.
(09:00):
So in your childhood, I know, for me, right, my
resilience come from just watching my mom navigate through some
of the most difficult times. We were homeless, and I
watched my mom work like two jobs for three kids,
(09:22):
and seeing her figuring it out allowed me to know
that whatever life was throwing at me, I was able
to figure it out. And I cannot take this away
from my father. My father, whatever he did something, he
went all in. And my father's a pastor and whenever
he preaches, I mean, he preached like it's this last sermon.
(09:46):
And what I took from that is that if he's
going to do it, he gotta do it. You know
what I mean? So for you, when did you learn
that if I'm going to do it, I gotta do it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I learned that the track, honestly, So I started running
track like age six up until I was fourteen, and
my coach always told me you got to have heart,
and with that, I have no athlete by any means.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
But did your folks put you in track?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yes, yeah, we would you run everything because I was
in it so long. So I started off, you know,
for its one hundred, two hundred. Then I advanced to
two hundred meter hurdles. I was so happy when I
got through that. But I did four by one, four
by four. I was really good at shot put, so
I would go to Junior Olympics and things like that
(10:36):
for shotput as a kid. But we always know once
we started something, we can never quit it, so that's
then stilled that into us really early. Like my mom
shaw I said, like, if you're gonna start soccer, you're
gonna start this sport like I did tennis one year.
I wanted to quit so bad because I didn't know
how hard tennis was gonna be, but it was always like,
you can't quit. So I think a lot of that
(10:57):
comes from from sports is discipline.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, and the discipline is very necessary for not just success,
but the discipline is also for the structure of life
that without discipline, I can tell any man that's not disciplined,
I can tell you have much structure. Yeah, because I
look at me and based on their level of discipline
(11:22):
and look at people the same, particularly in business, you know,
because if you're going to be successful in business, you
have to be disciplined in the area of learning. Yes,
how much have you learned? And probably don't have enough
time to unpack all of that? How much have you
learned about you in business? Not about business, but about you?
(11:49):
What have you learned about Kayler?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
The biggest thing, it's continuous. Every day I learned something new.
But people pleasing. So that's a big thing that comes
up in business a lot, because not being able to
say no when you know you should say no, or
taken on too much when you know you shouldn't be
taking on certain things. So I've had to navigate and
figure what that looks like for me and really protect
(12:14):
myself because sometimes I can hurt you as you're navigating
through business. So definitely people pleasing. Also, I've noticed that
I can't allow myself to I'm human and you're gonna
work with everybody in business humans. So I'm always been
(12:35):
on relationships too, Like I really want to figure out
who you are, what we're doing before we get in,
you know, in bed together business, marry each other because
that's what it is anytime you're doing something with someone.
But just try to like figure out people. And I
had to open up myself to be able to.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Relate relatable with others, especially if the type of work
I'm doing now, because sometimes I can find myself just
being like a silent assassin and.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Nobody ever knows I'm doing anything.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No, with that, that's that's that's a deep one. A
solemn assassin because they'll kill you and you didn't even
know used a target. Yeah, mmm mmm, the solent assassin.
I want to stay right there.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Why that term, because I guess from the even when
I did all of those things, when I go back
on things I did at a younger age, it's like
nobody knew. I always felt unseen at the time where
nobody ever really knew those things were going on or
(13:51):
at the capacity I was doing the math and I
went through a lot of different silent battles like by myself.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
But when was that was that intentional? No? What do
you have wanted somebody to know that you were in
a battle.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
That's probably why I was doing that. Yeah, when I
look back at it now, Yeah, Like you said, it
all comes back from childhood. You want to feel seen.
You want people to seem like they see you know,
the work that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And sometimes that's a real thing. Yeah, and we can
park there because you know, it's hard when you're not
seen and you desire to be seen. It's hard to
navigate when you want to be heard and no one
(14:45):
is hearing you. It's as if you have tape over
your mouth and you're streaming. You're saying something but no
one can understand. You're saying something, but no one can
hear you. That's tough. And I could imagine trying to
do business while battling secretly while also upholding the face.
(15:11):
What was that like for you?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I'll go back to age eighteen nineteen before I went
into angel investing. So that year I had actually attempted
suicide that year, and it was I was in school
studying Premium. Took on nine eighteen credits my first semester
(15:35):
insane because I'm over still trying to prove myself right.
Prior to that, took every honorary class you could think of,
made straight a's growing up and it still didn't seem
like enough. So that's kind of what led me to
that incident at nineteen right, And then when I found
(15:56):
my was the toughest spot at was ever at in
my life, life like, and nobody knew, probably besides my mom.
And that was a person like I, you know, called
cried to to try to pull me out, and I
had to really get through that time. And from there
a lot of things came up that I had to
(16:17):
heal and deal with. But I can honestly say it
was it was necessary, it was needed because as of
right now, like I never have those thoughts or those
feelings anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
So what happened that day.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
That triggered I don't know. I think it was a
course of things over time, you know what set me off?
I think it was the ending of my pressure min
semester and I probably made my first sea every life.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
So did you did you? Did you feel? Because I
don't want to sort of scale through what you share
because I'm a two time suicide survivor so and I
know that there are people that are watching this that
are struggling with suicidal ideation, which is the thought of
(17:14):
not just taking a life, but the ways in which
they would want to lead. And I'm thinking about nineteen
year Oldkayler and you said something, you said just wanting
to be seen that I was doing enough and to
(17:36):
think about what happened that day and to think about
where you are. What is the nexus kind of like
this point of kind of this portal, this pathway for
you that allows you to know today that if you
did nothing else, that you've done enough.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I haven't got there yet. I still struggle with that,
still struggle with that.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, how do you manage that?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Continuing to build? Build in battle?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
M build in battle. That's a word for somebody, and
I have to go there. That's got to be exhausting.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Yeah it can be.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
But can I share someone with you? You gotta rest
And I'm not talking about sleep. I mean rest to
where what you build begins to work for you in
seasons where you don't feel like you always have to
(18:52):
have your hands on the plow. Because because I think
one of the challenges that a lot of successful women,
because I work with a lot of successful women, is
that's the thing that I often hear them say, is that, man,
I just want to be seen that I've done enough
(19:13):
or that I am enough. And as much as that
is a thing where people give us a validation, I
also think that there is a responsibility that we have
to accept that we are rather than waiting for them
to clap because we are.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
That's that's true, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
And you because and I'm saying this is because I
feel the interview taking a ship, because you have done
a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
How do you twenty eight?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You're twenty eight, and I'm going to tell you how
I thought you were, not because you look like I
thought you about thirty three, because of just the way
you carry yourself, and I would not have given you
twenty eight.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
People have seen me like that since I was like five.
They always thought I was older. Yeah, well I carried.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
And I'm saying this because this for you. You got
a long road ahead of you, and you I have
to go back to this building and battling the duality
(20:38):
of that man. Because I once said something when I
was on my tour three years ago. I said, somebody says, man,
what is it like? How does it feel? I said,
imagine yourself building a plane and flying in at the
same time, And can I tell you, Kaylor that thing
damn near killed me because what you realize is that
(21:03):
you're in the air with the plane that's not fully finished.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
And that's what it feels like every day.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
And my hope for you, and this is personal, it
is there not that you find balance, but that you
find space to just rest, to turn your brain off.
Because what we often do is rather than healing, we
(21:40):
keep achieving, you know, because it's easy to go get
another degree, go get another business, go write up another
business plan. Because as much as football was like mike outlet,
theilding thing is your outlet, I assume because when I
(22:00):
can touch something and like, like even when I'm doing
business a day, like when we was talking other day,
I look at everything like like the x's and o's
like in football, like okay, if you're trying to, you know,
get yardage with this play and the defense is set
up to stop you because they're in this type of
(22:22):
formation or they're in this type of defense. I'm always
looking at things like okay, how can I score against
the threat? And then also what is the defense that
I need to you know what I'm saying beyond when
there is an offensive issue, you know what I mean?
And the one of the most challenging things is the
(22:44):
process of to continue looking at everything like that, because
it's also the way I cope. Yeah, that's real, you
know what I'm saying, And it keeps you from happening
to really deal because to deal means you have to feel.
(23:08):
And I want to ask you this question. And this
may be something that you still process because you're so young.
It's so powerful. At the same time, I don't see
it yet, and I know you don't. I know you don't,
but you are. Look at what I walked through the
other day. How big is that building?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Cala thirty almost thirty one thousand square.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Feet thirty one thousand square feet that building. You walked
me into, some green rooms, you walked me into some
media rooms, you walked me into I think that was
like a little kid saying you walked into Hey, you said,
doctor j we're going to be doing podcasts over here.
Like look at what you built.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
And also had another building just a couple of years ago.
I've been in construction for three year and got swindled
out of millions of dollars on that project. And now
the building you saw is the building Actually I wanted
at the very beginning, and it's like God brings it
back full circle.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You know, and he's also bringing it back too, so
you can slow down and see details. Because one of
the things that we missed when we're building and when
we are trying to manage you know what I'm saying emotionally,
(24:37):
it's very challenging to see all of the moving parts.
So I'm with a mentor of mine and we're at
lunch and he's talking to me about the deal that
he has just did, right or a deal that he
was sitting in on with his mentor. So the deal
(24:57):
I can't remember. It was like in the three point
five million or something like that, and I was like
at the time, I'm in my twenties, late twenties, because
he's like taking me on his wing. And again back then,
you know, for somebody to be saying they was doing
like two or three million dollar deal, it's just kind
of like, oh man, this is this is huge. And
he says, the guy says, I don't want to do
(25:20):
the deal, and so he's kind of like, you know,
what do you mean. He says, well, I don't have
enough details, and the guy was like, well, I'm laying
it out for you, He says. Have you ever heard
of saying that the devil is in the details? He says, yes,
(25:41):
I've heard that. He says, Well, I don't have enough
details to see what the devil is. And I just
sat there and I'm sharing that because I think part
of how things are happening for you now is so
you can start seeing details and you can make wiser
(26:05):
decisions on things that will require all of you rather
than just pieces of you. Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah,
So how do you feel emotionally as you're navigating and
that this may be layer? How do you feel emotionally
(26:27):
now that you're in this space where you're you're working
on this new building.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
I feel peace than I did for the last eight months.
It was the last eight months of my life, hoping.
It feels like I've been living health but I feel
I finally feel peace and relief. That's right now. I'm
at peace and just knowing that God's going to do
(26:57):
his work.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I'm just trusting in the space.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
And thank you for being so vulnerable too, because I
can tell that it's tough for you because you know
and it's a lot to navigate through, and especially when
you got to do it alone, slowly, and nobody tells
you how there in the area is at the top.
(27:27):
And what I'm hoping is that you continue to build
your capacity for being at the top, because one of
the keys to survive in the top of the mountain
is having a capacity to manage the air. You know.
That's why, you know, because I used to hear everybody
(27:49):
can't go, and we hear that, and that's so true.
Have you learned that?
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Yes, yes, a lot this year the past two years,
I have learned, you know, because we have such good
hearts and we want to help everybody, but we have
to know too that, like you said, everybody can't go
(28:15):
with you, and I you know, sometimes you want the
closest people to go with you, and those are the
ones that probably show you too that they're not ready.
And it's and it's okay that they're not ready, and
you just have to know that they're you know that
they're not right, they're not ready, and you just have
(28:35):
to be okay with that. And I think I learned
that early on too, and I just didn't know it
because there was a lot of people I had to
block out early in my life and I've always had
small circles. I never really done like a lot of
friends or kept a lot of people around me. It's
always been like three people and that's it. And you
know it. One day I was at a church service
(28:59):
and different spirits and stuff that you that are people
around you that'll carry that and you take on you
take on that and it becomes heavier and you know,
thepacity said put certain people on your phone and do
not do not answer, like, do not answer certain Yeah,
And I had to learn that for myself early on,
(29:22):
to put that to block that energy out so that
I can start healing from certain from certain situations and
knowing that I have to keep this person at that space.
So now even today, like certain people call the text
one not to answer and not want to respond right
away because I know what type of how much energy
is gonna take out of me? Yeah, you have to
(29:44):
be able to identify and know that.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
So yeah, because that's that that that's hard to identify.
It's hard to not only just identify, it's also hard
to accept, and particularly for people that you thought would
be there, you know. And I think that was one
of the things that really bothered me as my journey
(30:07):
began to change and God begins to expand my territory.
The hardest part was like the people. I was like, oh,
definitely he'll be around or definitely she'll be around. And
even in relationship, that was challenging, you know, because nobody
tells you how the person you're dating impacts not only
(30:30):
your business and your your everything. Like can you speak
to the women who are watching and kind of talk
about that because I can talk about it from my
perspective as a male, But how important is it to
even be connected to the right males? If you're dating
(30:50):
a male per.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Se is super super imperative because you know that's your
your every day who you're dating. Typically, that's who you
talk to nine times out of ten, that's where you're
calling nine times out of ten. And they have to
be at the same emotional have the same emotional capacity
that you have. Yes, because sometimes we find ourselves you're
(31:15):
gonna start pouring into another unhealed man, or he's going
to be pouring and you know, to you it could
go vice versa. But speaking from a woman's perspective, sometimes
we take on men that's not that's not hell, and
then we become their moms, We become their neuturers, We
become so many different things. And that's heavy. And imagine
trying to build an empire and then happening to if
(31:38):
you have children, cater to them and then cater to
the to the man as well. It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
There's a lot you have children.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I have a three year old son, three year old.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Son, And what is that like as a mom to
be building an empire? Being a mom? You know, because
I'm watching my sisters do it, and they, you know,
they're married, and because I don't think there's enough conversation
about people who are married and still feel like they
don't have help.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
And I have no help because I'm here in y'all
list by myself.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
You know, and you here doing this thing alone, building
an empire.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
It's challenging. And I just went to a conference last
week and this lady, she spoke volumes when she says,
sometimes you're gonna be a ce. People with degrees get
sees right. And sometimes when you're a mom, you're gonna
be You're gonna get get a sea one day, You're
gonna get a b maybe another day, and hold on
to those a moments. So sometimes you just say okay.
(32:47):
Sometimes you know, a mom, i'm building, maybe I have
to give my business at a today, but Will Hunter
might get a sea today, but he's okay. The necessities
are taken care of and you just have to do
the best that you can because parenting is hard. My
mom said, having kids is a different realm. I'm understanding
(33:08):
it now.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, yeah, it's tough. Yeah, And I'm glad that you're
speaking to the women's in what you're sharing, because you know,
we get on social media and we'll and a woman
would look at you because if they're following your social media,
I mean I go to your social media and I'm like, oh,
this girl's killing it. But we don't get to see
the hands and out of people daily practice. This is
(33:32):
why I say social media is not this is not you,
but it's not a real place.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Highlights.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
It's highlights. And I'm so glad that you're talking about
grades or the grading scale for parenting because you won't
always be an A plus parent and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
And sometimes you might get a d You may not
want to say it, but you want to be a
deed sometimes and you still may pass.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
You know what. But nobody talks about sometime you will fail.
Let me say this to you in the camera. Doesn't
mean that you are failure. Listen, you may fail, you
may get an f as a folks say, you may
get a flag as an old folks say in Mississippi,
(34:26):
baby he flaw. You may fail, But that doesn't mean
that you're a failure because there isn't a manual. There
isn't a booklet on parenting. And I don't know because
I'm not a parent. You know, I lost a child
(34:47):
in pregnancy, but I haven't had to raise a child.
But I'm saying this because I want to help those
that are trying to be what their parents weren't to them.
And it's okay if you miss the mark in not
being everything to your child because the stress of just
(35:08):
the day to day. And here's the thing. I'm sitting
here with an very accomplished woman, and I can tell
that that's warfare for you. I can feel it. I
can feel the building and battling. That's a book, typle.
You need to write that book, by the way, seriously,
when you like, you need to write that book in
(35:30):
like the next five years. That is a gold mine,
building and battling. You need to tell a friend put
that in your notes. Building and battling trademark that that
is a book title, because how many people are up
there hammering but they're battling the wars that nobody sees.
(35:53):
They're writing a business plan, but they're battling what the
divorce did to them. You know what I'm saying. You're
building the career, but you're battling what the molestation did.
You're building the business, but you're battling what the emotional
abuse did. That's a warfare. And then it's like I'm
(36:17):
building this building at twenty eight, but then I'm battling.
Am I a good mom? Am I doing enough? As
a mother? I'm raising a young black boy? Am I
giving him everything? So I feel that way? And what
I'm hoping for you, as I was saying earlier, and
(36:38):
this is personal, and what I'm hoping for you, is
that respuites that you will find that the pocket that
today was enough, if you did nothing else, that today
was enough. And Kayla, I had to learn that because
I would close out my laptop from seeing clients and
(37:00):
my brain will still be working, like, Okay, did I
give them enough tools? And I had to get to
the point where say, once I close this laptop, that's it.
Once I get off this last call, close out this
zoom meeting, because the enemy don't get us because we
are successful. He gets us because it's the battles that
(37:23):
we are trying to manage in the midst of the success.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Would you agree, definitely agree. What do you feel like enough.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Is for you? Ooh, that's a good question. For me.
It's when I feel fulfilled that I did everything that
I could do for that day. And my focus is
always been where my feet are planted. My mother a
(37:52):
lover to the moon and back. She's a big tomorrow person,
big tomorrow person, and she's off and like what you're doing?
You know, well, I'm doing this it And I had
to learn that tomorrow gave me such anxiety, which caused
me to miss today and it robbed me so much.
(38:17):
When I was in my twenties, at twenty one, I
went bald. True story, I didn't get drafted, and the
stress of not getting drafted, not because I couldn't play,
because I wanted to show my father that I could
without them. I lost all of my hair. Now this
is my real hair. Me and Charlotmagne joke all the time.
(38:38):
This is not a unit to good brothers. Again, blessings
to those who you know do it. But this is mine.
All this was gone gone stressed. I didn't even know it.
And my barber like, I'm going to get a haircut.
I'm just And this is how my lack of awareness
was just kind of like all I'm thinking, like, oh, sap,
(39:01):
this is just what happens. And my barber was like, nigga,
you're twenty two, why are you going ball Like he
was like, dude, what's going on? And again I didn't
know that I was stressed. I just knew I was
up at night worrying. And every time I went to
the mirror to brush my hair, it was just getting
thinner and thin and thinner. Wow. And I got robbed
(39:26):
from being so worried about tomorrow, next week, next month,
next year. I'm telling my dad, I was so anxious
about next week, like I'm telling you, like I used
to get so anxious about school because it was like
when a teacher said, oh, you have this doing three weeks,
(39:46):
Oh my god, it's shut. My nervous isn't down. I'm like, oh, shoot,
because I would go into the three weeks and I
wouldn't even get started.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Yeah, because it's too it's too.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
So the procrastination. I was paralyzed. It's only a boy,
the procrastination, but I was paralyzed by the thought of
the three weeks. And in three weeks coming the lady
goes my teacher professor like, Jay, you had it. I
was like, Oh, it was just like I didn't have.
So I've learned that enough for me is that whatever
(40:18):
I can do in that time span, that's it. That's it,
nothing more. And also having a cutoff time. I watched
so many people in business, and I understand entrepreneurship because
I didn't work for anybody. Was in the grad school.
I had to do my internship. But so many entrepreneurs,
(40:41):
this whole twenty four to eight, this whole grind all day,
this overworked culture. Man, I'm not using like, I'm not
using toxic and all that. It's deadly. That's what I'm
gonna say. It will kill you. I literally just came
across a post. I don't know if you saw it.
There's a black one who had a business and they
(41:02):
were saying that she was working seven days a week
and she was running her business. Did you see that post?
I just came across it, and she was working seven
days a week, none stop, six seven days a week
and went home one night, went to sleep, to take
a nap to rest, and never woke up. Oh, And
(41:25):
I was reading the comments of just how exhausted people
were saying that they are trying not owing to run
a business, but doing business two different things. Because you
have the operations, and you have the marketing and advertising,
the management of people, the management of the system. It's
(41:47):
a lot, lot it's.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Too much sometimes. And I was just saying that yesterday,
and we're here trying to catch up on all my emails,
and I used AI a lot now too. I said,
should I send this email now because I think you
were gonna read it? And it said, actually, CEO's founders,
it's the perfect time to send emails on a Saturday
(42:10):
because they're more than likely to be the ones to
go through their email. And that just shows that we
don't rest at all, because we should be resting on
a Saturday, and we're more than likely to respond.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
On AI said that to you, WHOA.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
And I pressend in every last one of those founders responded, Wow.
Now the executives for the companies for like everybody else,
they respond because they probably gonna respond on Monday, but
all of CEO's founders they responded on Saturday. It just
shows how overworked we are.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Wow. And AI told you that. That's just want pause
think about that. AI told you that.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
M h.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
And I'm not saying AI will take over, but the
effectiveness of AI is that it's going to outsmart us.
And that's scary because I didn't even know that. And
(43:26):
now I'm finna go through all my emails and email
all these CEOs like man sending these chats, all of them,
c J. Let's let's get on next Saturday. Wee getting
up at six a m. And send out emails. Wow,
oh man, you got me stumbling now and not on
(43:49):
anything but just we're we're we're, we're exhausted. What do
you do for fun?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Drink a doctor pepper.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Literally, and that's and how often do you drink a doctor?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Have to have one? Once Aday Pham cuked with extra ice.
That's my happy place?
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Really? Yeah, where did that begin?
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Mm hmmm? Tied in Texas? Yeah, these don't cold to
drink a few years back.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
You got to introduce it. Somebody introduce you to doctor Pepper.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
I got off. Yeah, no, I just I don't know.
I just picked up on it one day. Nothing really interesting,
but yeah, I just found it as a happy place.
So they all know, go give me a doctor pepper.
I'm stressed.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Really hmmm, try.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
The most unhealthiest thing, but hey, that's what works for me.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Yeah, want to day, Yeah, like a large.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Coat, like a rap forty four from Sonic.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Big Boy. Yeah you big boy round forty four with
the with the with the slushy ice or big ice
cubes slushy ice. Okay, yeah yeah you big boy. Yeah,
and you have one of those a day. Come on, Okay, now.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
I'm okay, don't no, no, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
I'm not, I'm not. I just want you to have
your kidness. By the time you're thirty, they're still functioning
just because the matter of sugar. That doctor pepper. Good God.
So anyway, what I'm hoping is that you find another
healthy place to be in besides a Route forty four
(45:47):
cup of doctor Pepper, which is nothing wrong with that,
but how often do you get outside and enjoy nature.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
That doesn't happen. Why there's no time?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
What do you mean it's on time, it's some time.
So you know you asked me the other day the
mentor you.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Right, what I asked for myself by exactly.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna take you on,
but you're gonna have to listen, and not listen because
I'm telling you what's right, but listen because it's gonna
give you sustainability. You want what you're building at twenty eight.
You want to be around for it at fifty. Yeah,
(46:35):
you know what you know, and as much capacity as
you have, you have to use wisdom with it because
you can go, you can go again. I was, you know,
like when I was walking around in y'all building, I was,
I was. I'm gonna tell you what I was doing,
and Chris is probably gonna say, you know, I was
(47:00):
praying for you. You need it. You need a lot
of prayer and it's not bad, but just because you
need to support spiritually because you are a black woman
that's doing something that's never been done, you know, and
(47:23):
you don't need people to just girl, let me get
around you because you got do saying gabana on and
you got the newest bag, and you've got all these things.
You need somebody people around you that understand the weight
of what you're carrying is also heavy and burdensome. And
(47:44):
it's not just hopping in the whip and hopping out
the cars and all that different type of stuff. Because
see that stuff looks fun, but nobody knows when you
got to go home and start looking at these numbers,
and you done paid for these people to do some work,
and now all of a sudden you realize they started,
but they didn't finish. They ran off with the bread.
Now then to put you in the hole. And now
(48:05):
you in the hole, you trying to figure out how
do we get this to pay this person? And once
we get this paid, then we got to come back
over here. And I feel all of that. When I
was talking to you a friend the other day, I
had to get out of there because again I don't like,
I don't intrude, but I was praying, and in that
(48:26):
moment I felt led to just kind of pour into
you and even the things that I shared, like I
just like I just met you for like ten minutes
in a green room and then Vee was like, hey,
I want you to interview Kaylor And when she said that,
When she said that, I was just like, Okay, yeah, absolutely,
(48:48):
And I said, well, what's her story? She said, well,
I'll let her tell you. I said, well, you know what,
don't tell me. You know, because everybody that God brings
up my space to put on this podcast, I know
it is a reason for them to be here because
there's something that God wants to heal through them, but
also heal the people that are watching. Because what I
(49:09):
love about this is that people get to see this
in real time because most sisters, like yourself never get
to space. It's just you know what, I noticed, you
have been taking more breaths since you've been sitting in
that chair than you did in the green room when
(49:32):
you was in the green room. Again, because I'm an observant,
this is you the whole time, and I can tell
that that was just like it's business as usual, but
also it's like it's like, you know, it's aints and
I'm not saying this, you know, from a place of arrogance,
(49:54):
but when people come in my pain, my presence, it's
peaceful and you're taking a breath because oh gosh, this
is You're taking these breaths because you don't know when
you'll get the opportunity to take them again.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
So my challenge to you is, as you continue on
this journey building businesses and creating opportunities for people and
given and giving and giving, I want to challenge you
to turn your poor inward. And you may not know
(50:38):
what that looks like now, but take time to just exhale.
When I think about the movie Waiting to exhale, listen
to that waiting to exhale. If you're waiting excel, you'll
be dead Artinsai Blise dead. So I want you to
(51:00):
wait until you feel like you arrived at a place
where you can finally because it may be too late.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
I love you said that because I've everyone says take
a breath break. You said rest and say rest like
it's okay to rest, and I'm like, no, when I'm forty,
I rest. That's what I just keep saying. I said
what I'm forty like.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
You No, no, no young to risk no because you
because you won't make it to forty and your rest
will be your final one. Bu talk. And when I
say rest, I'm not just saying sleep. Some things like
(51:40):
this whole podcast thing. Again, this is a testimony for me.
All of this came about because I rested Charlomagne and
his team reached out. My mentor had told me the
same thing i'm telling you. Last December, I took six
I had vertigo from traveling and my body was compromised.
I'm actually interviewing doctor Jill later today and she was
(52:03):
looking at my blood work. Man, everything was out of
whack because I was hopping on stage, off the stage
and pouring into black men and pouring into black boys.
And then I will get off stage and come home.
Instead of wresting. I'm seeing clients virtually, so my poor
was never off. It was never off, and then I
(52:24):
ain't have nobody pouring back in the meeting. I'm dating
a young lady, sweet, but she didn't know. She didn't know.
She just kind of like, hey, you know, you're doing
a great job. And sometimes for people who carry heavy mantle,
we don't need applause. In fact, they put your hands
(52:44):
up and start praying instead of doing this. Do this.
That's what we need. But people who are enamored with
us at times don't know because they like, man, you
doing a Kayla girl, you doing and not realizing you
need a place where you can just say, man, I'm
(53:04):
dying and as much as I am trying to succeed,
I'm failing, and that's what I want for you. And
not realizing my mentor. She says, Jay, you've done enough
in the mental health space. Let it work for you.
(53:27):
And Charlomagnetine called me, wow, and they said, hey, let's
start putting this deal together for the podcast. I said, Okay,
things just started happening. I ain't had to call nobody,
I ain't had to go search nobody, i ain't had
to call the publicy. It just started working for me.
And I'm gonna go biblical because this is my platform
(53:48):
because part of the promise to Joshua that God gave
Joshua was rest. Rest was a part of the promise.
It wasn't just the promised land, it was also rest
because could you imagine how tired them folks was are
walking around in the wilderness for forty years. That's why
(54:12):
I imagine, I said, when I'm looking at the real time,
said these Nigro was crazy. Everybody was like your mental capacity,
your mental ability to decide and make logical, it's gone
it's hot, you're getting mantled at night, you trying to
figure out, you laying down, you uncomfortable, and all this
(54:34):
type of stuff. And then this man said, come on,
follow me, and you like, man whatever, But God want
us to rest. That way what we have built would
begin to work for us. And it's like I said,
a good sword, because you were there when you put
the seed in the ground. You can't go back to
(54:56):
the ground and keep digging it up. You gotta let
to see rest in the ground. And it needs its process.
And so there are some things that you're building that
you probably can say, you know what, I can take
my hands off of this for now, and you touch
something else and it gives you a moment to breed
(55:18):
and it's and it's not juggling. It's understanding seasons. Does
that Does that make sense? It's understanding seasons because some
season will require you to toil. In some season you say, hey, friend,
we're gonna pull off on this right now. And that
(55:39):
way there's a sequence that when this is working, that
is coming behind that, you know what I mean. And
you build a system for yourself, and you always build
a system for your rest, because if you're not here.
What happened to blueprint? Because you're the brains and nobody's
(56:05):
talking about Black women are having strokes at a higher
rate and not because they're unhealthy.
Speaker 2 (56:14):
Stress.
Speaker 1 (56:15):
Say that again. Stress, it's stress. Its stress.
Speaker 2 (56:21):
I found myself in the hospital earlier this year. Stress
can they can't find out nothing that's wrong. I went
in for abdominal pain and I ended up being septic,
so I'd stay in a couple of days. But it
probably all rooted for stress. It's just stress.
Speaker 1 (56:42):
Yeah. That's my prayer for you, is that God send
the right people to support what you're doing, and rest
is included in what you're building. As much as I
love the title building and battling, but I don't want
you to always be battling, and I don't always want
(57:05):
you to be building because you already made it. I mean,
you're twenty I'm telling I'm just I'm like you had
a suicide temp at nineteen, bankruptc at twenty one, getting
ready to open up this huge center at twenty eight.
It's a lot, But I want you to know, as
(57:28):
a black man, I see you for who you are,
not for what you've done, but just for who you are.
Thank you, And I hope you begin to see yourself
more and that way you don't have to feel like
you have to keep working to be seen because there's
a lot of young girls and a lot of women.
Healing is attached not to your success, but to your process.
Speaker 2 (57:56):
It's a long process.
Speaker 1 (57:57):
That's okay, Okay, okay. The blessings is in the process.
Speaker 2 (58:03):
It is. That's what I love so much about this journey.
And even when you know we talk about healing, I'm
just now starting to relate to the different traumatic experiences
you know, we may have been through and it makes
us who we are today. And I'm trying to just
(58:25):
be okay with every Like you said, everything is a
season and we just have to know when to deal
with Yeah.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
Last question, what does healing? What is that for you?
What is healing for you?
Speaker 2 (58:41):
Mm hmm, I would say helious. I always say healing
while hustling is just being okay to talk about it.
There are certain things that I've been through that I
know I can't talk about yet, but I know I've
(59:03):
healed from it once I can talk about it. So
like you know, you know, childhood, milestation we can talk about.
We can talk about suicide. We can talk about certain things,
but it's okay to feel and it's okay to just
(59:25):
just be okay with with you because these experiences make
us who we are and where is life. We're gonna
go through some challenges, but don't live and sit in
it forever. Just be okay. I know that's your path.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
I love that. I love this, I love it. Well, guys,
I'm gonna take a deep breath because this interview was
very powerful, very vulnerable, and it was very real. It's
(01:00:06):
a word that I'm thinking about. It's very real, and
I'm grateful for Kayla just being here, being open and
allowing me to share and the pourtant to her. And
you're seeing a woman who is a phenomenal businesswoman, but
you're also seeing a woman who is yet on her journey.
(01:00:27):
And you may be there, you may be at a
place where you are building and battling. But if you
get nothing else out of this, I encourage you to rest,
because if you're trying to build and you're trying to battle,
you want to exhaust yourself. And if you want stability
and you want longevity and you want to be able
(01:00:50):
to really live in what you're building. You got to
give yourself an opportunity to rest. Thank you, Kayla. I
speak blessings over your business. I know it's gonna be well.
And you asked me to mentor you, so I'm gonna
say yes on on on this podcast. So you know
what I mean. So we're gonna get youresting. You're gonna
(01:01:12):
keep making money, but babe, we're gonna get you theresting.
We can get you arresting. So go follow Kayla. Kayla
Sharie the blueprint university, amazing business model that is connecting
Fortune five hundred companies to small business owners. They help
with funding. I mean, she is brilliant and uh and
(01:01:35):
I encourage you to not only this is not about supporting,
but go there because she's a big on educating. She's
a big educator on business. And so again, remember healing
is a journey and wholeness is the destination. And until
next time, I will see you. I am doctor J.
(01:01:56):
And this is another episode of Just Here with Doctor J.
All right, I am excited about today's guests. As you know,
for the month of July, I am interviewing some of
the most dynamic, powerful and inspirational women from all walks
of life. And today I have a great opportunity to
sit down with the CEO, business owner, founder, all the
(00:23):
titles that you can think of of the Blueprint University,
the woman herself, the incomparable and infamous because she doesn't
like being out in the front, and I've learned this
much about her. But I'm so glad to have with
me today, miss Kayla Cherie, the founder of the Blueprint University. So,
(00:45):
Miss Kayla, welcome to the hill In community. I am
so excited to sit down and talk with you. I
met you in the green room what was that a
month couple months ago, and learn of your story, and
learn of your business and all of the exciting things
that you do. And if you haven't watched an episode,
(01:06):
so this is just heal and this is all things healing,
all things mental health, all things discussing life, your journey,
and all those great things. So I'm excited to have
you with us today. So tell me about this Blueprint
University because I kind of got a chance to walk
through what you're building and it is phenomenal, and so
(01:28):
I want to say congratulations on what you're building. But
tell me about the Blueprint University.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Yes, So, Blueprint University is a trade school for entrepreneurs.
Our mission, of course is to close the gap between
small businesses and fortune five hundred companies. With that, we
take businesses from there from education, educating them being the
willhouse behind them. So we have a marketing department, we
have a media department, we have funding, finance, everything like
(01:55):
a one stop shop that these business owners would need.
So that's that's pretty much what Blueprint University is. Big
on education. We have incubator program, accelerator, start up all one.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Snapshot all of that. Now, how did you get into today?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
So I started business at twelve years old making ear
rings when basketball wise was a hit. So I used
to go downtown in ls where I grew up and
made all these earrings. So I made about thirty six
hundred dollars a week doing that.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Whoa slow, slow down, We're gonna okay, we're gonna we're
gonna go on a journey. Well, you're not for to
bypass thirty six hundred dollars a week at twelve years old? Yes,
what was in these ear rings?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
They were just a hit. They were I would make
be able to be as creative as I wanted to be,
So I would just make well hit earrings.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
I'm gonna need you to sell us a picture of
these ear rings so we can flash them in the
interview because I'm fascinating. Thirty six hundred dollars at twelve
years old? And how long did you do that?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
About two or three years? So they were a hit
for about two or three years. So I did that because.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Wow, And who were your customers?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
My mother she worked at the prison, so she would
take them inside of the prison and sell them to
the women, her coworkers, of course. And then also I
would go to the beauty shops on the weekend. I
would sell to them at school around Mother's Day. I
would make mom airrings, mom bracelets, and then the kids
(03:25):
will buy them from me. So it just picked up
from there.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So now you know that, you know the next question
coming because I got to be me in three years.
How much money did you make?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Wow? I probably made about my first sixty seventy five thousand.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Dollars seventy five thousand and three years. Thirty six hundred Wow,
and you probably Moore is Trump and our rest not
gonna watch the show, so we gotta work our taxes. Yeah,
I mean, because I'm saying, because I'm sitting there calculating
thirty six hundred dollars a week, you know what I'm saying.
And in almost two weeks, you already at ten bands.
(04:06):
So I'm like ten bands every two weeks. You already
at twenty bands, at forty bands, sixty bands. Like you
did more than seventy thousand three years. I think you
probably more, huh yeah, because I'm like, the numbers ain't mathing.
So I'm like, hold on, wait a minute, CJ years yeah,
(04:27):
three yeah, and that's what And that's what I was thinking.
I was like, you probably did about half a million. Yeah,
so you you you stopped after three years? And what
do you do with all of the money that you made?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I was I didn't know it at the time, but
now looking back, I used to do a lot of
community involvement. So like with my school, I became like
the president of certain clubs, girls clubs, BSU Black Student Union,
and I would put on different talent shows and different
events for the school, and I would just donate all
(05:01):
of my money. Really, I was probably just giving it back.
And that's where my help in hands started. Like I
really just started giving a lot. But fast forward, I
was able to save a lot of that and I
started Angel investing at the age of nineteen.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
Wow. So Angel invested in nineteen So what were some
of the businesses or were some of the things that
you invested in of companies.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I invested into a car wash, invested into a nel salon.
I had this one hundred and sixty unit space in
Las Vegas, Nevada, because I went to UNLV I studyed
pre medicine, okay, and right across the street still there,
it's this large building, one hundred and sixty units, and
my idea was to make it an African American Chinatown.
So with that, I went to these different businesses. One
(05:45):
of them they used to wash my car, and they
were like, I want to expand my business. I rode
up their business plan. I got them contracts with different
car rental companies, so like a big one in Vegas
was like Fox Rental, car Ace car Rental, and things
like that. So we started watching their vehicles. So I
invested a lot into that company. Initially I did a
music studio inside of that space, a restaurant, just trying
(06:08):
to build up the community in that way. So I
invested a lot.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Wow, and the one hundred and sixty unit. What was
the return once you made your first investment.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Well, that project ended up leaving me bankrupt at the
age of twenty one. So a lot of it became
a lot of Robb Peter to pay Paul. Because some
businesses did good, some didn't. I had a lot of
good partnerships and had a lot of bad partnerships too,
So some of the businesses have to take care of
the other businesses to keep a float until it just
couldn't anymore.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Yeah, And as I'm sitting there thinking, because when guests
were talking, I love the process in real time and
to see how you have continued to move forward, because
bankruptcy would stop most people relative young. And to think
(07:02):
about you continued on what was the driver for you
after experiencing bankruptcy at such an early age.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Back then, I was just like, Okay, this is the
cards I'm dealt with now. How do I just always
been a person to keep moving forward. It's like resilience
just I can only go up from here, right, it
can't go can't get no worse. So I'm at my
lowest here. So how am I going to get through
this hurdle?
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I just and who's supporting you? Like, who's around you? Like?
What are the friendship circle? Is family involved? Like what
was that like? Because I'm sitting there thinking, I'm forty three,
and I'm thinking like bankruptcy for most people, Like I've
read stories and as a therapist, some people are going
(07:50):
through bankruptcy and it's like they have done egregious things
and egregious meaning like it's like I got to take
everybody out, you know what I mean? They have died
by suicide. They I mean they felt that life was over.
And what I'm interested in knowing where did that resilience
(08:11):
come from?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
The resilience. I get to ask the question a lot,
and I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes I think it's
just was born inside of me, or it's just something
that I've learned how to get past. I don't know.
It's just I don't know how to. I've always been
a solutionist, so I don't know how not to keep
moving forward like there has to be a way, and
(08:35):
am a strong believer.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So knowing that you have to keep moving forward, I
have to go to childhood because most of what we
become is all centered around our environment in our adolescent years.
It's centered around how we are spoken to, how we
are cared for, how we are nurtured in those things.
(09:00):
So in your childhood, I know, for me, right, my
resilience come from just watching my mom navigate through some
of the most difficult times. We were homeless, and I
watched my mom work like two jobs for three kids,
(09:22):
and seeing her figuring it out allowed me to know
that whatever life was throwing at me, I was able
to figure it out. And I cannot take this away
from my father. My father, whatever he did something, he
went all in. And my father's a pastor and whenever
he preaches, I mean, he preached like it's this last sermon.
(09:46):
And what I took from that is that if he's
going to do it, he gotta do it. You know
what I mean? So for you, when did you learn
that if I'm going to do it, I gotta do it.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I learned that the track, honestly, So I started running
track like age six up until I was fourteen, and
my coach always told me you got to have heart,
and with that, I have no athlete by any means.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
But did your folks put you in track?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yes, yeah, we would you run everything because I was
in it so long. So I started off, you know,
for its one hundred, two hundred. Then I advanced to
two hundred meter hurdles. I was so happy when I
got through that. But I did four by one, four
by four. I was really good at shot put, so
I would go to Junior Olympics and things like that
(10:36):
for shotput as a kid. But we always know once
we started something, we can never quit it, so that's
then stilled that into us really early. Like my mom
shaw I said, like, if you're gonna start soccer, you're
gonna start this sport like I did tennis one year.
I wanted to quit so bad because I didn't know
how hard tennis was gonna be, but it was always like,
you can't quit. So I think a lot of that
(10:57):
comes from from sports is discipline.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Yeah, and the discipline is very necessary for not just success,
but the discipline is also for the structure of life
that without discipline, I can tell any man that's not disciplined,
I can tell you have much structure. Yeah, because I
look at me and based on their level of discipline
(11:22):
and look at people the same, particularly in business, you know,
because if you're going to be successful in business, you
have to be disciplined in the area of learning. Yes,
how much have you learned? And probably don't have enough
time to unpack all of that? How much have you
learned about you in business? Not about business, but about you?
(11:49):
What have you learned about Kayler?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
The biggest thing, it's continuous. Every day I learned something new.
But people pleasing. So that's a big thing that comes
up in business a lot, because not being able to
say no when you know you should say no, or
taken on too much when you know you shouldn't be
taking on certain things. So I've had to navigate and
figure what that looks like for me and really protect
(12:14):
myself because sometimes I can hurt you as you're navigating
through business. So definitely people pleasing. Also, I've noticed that
I can't allow myself to I'm human and you're gonna
work with everybody in business humans. So I'm always been
(12:35):
on relationships too, Like I really want to figure out
who you are, what we're doing before we get in,
you know, in bed together business, marry each other because
that's what it is anytime you're doing something with someone.
But just try to like figure out people. And I
had to open up myself to be able to.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Relate relatable with others, especially if the type of work
I'm doing now, because sometimes I can find myself just
being like a silent assassin and.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Nobody ever knows I'm doing anything.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
No, with that, that's that's that's a deep one. A
solemn assassin because they'll kill you and you didn't even
know used a target. Yeah, mmm mmm, the solent assassin.
I want to stay right there.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Why that term, because I guess from the even when
I did all of those things, when I go back
on things I did at a younger age, it's like
nobody knew. I always felt unseen at the time where
nobody ever really knew those things were going on or
(13:51):
at the capacity I was doing the math and I
went through a lot of different silent battles like by myself.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
But when was that was that intentional? No? What do
you have wanted somebody to know that you were in
a battle.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
That's probably why I was doing that. Yeah, when I
look back at it now, Yeah, Like you said, it
all comes back from childhood. You want to feel seen.
You want people to seem like they see you know,
the work that you're doing.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
And sometimes that's a real thing. Yeah, and we can
park there because you know, it's hard when you're not
seen and you desire to be seen. It's hard to
navigate when you want to be heard and no one
(14:45):
is hearing you. It's as if you have tape over
your mouth and you're streaming. You're saying something but no
one can understand. You're saying something, but no one can
hear you. That's tough. And I could imagine trying to
do business while battling secretly while also upholding the face.
(15:11):
What was that like for you?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I'll go back to age eighteen nineteen before I went
into angel investing. So that year I had actually attempted
suicide that year, and it was I was in school
studying Premium. Took on nine eighteen credits my first semester
(15:35):
insane because I'm over still trying to prove myself right.
Prior to that, took every honorary class you could think of,
made straight a's growing up and it still didn't seem
like enough. So that's kind of what led me to
that incident at nineteen right, And then when I found
(15:56):
my was the toughest spot at was ever at in
my life, life like, and nobody knew, probably besides my mom.
And that was a person like I, you know, called
cried to to try to pull me out, and I
had to really get through that time. And from there
a lot of things came up that I had to
(16:17):
heal and deal with. But I can honestly say it
was it was necessary, it was needed because as of
right now, like I never have those thoughts or those
feelings anymore.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
So what happened that day.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
That triggered I don't know. I think it was a
course of things over time, you know what set me off?
I think it was the ending of my pressure min
semester and I probably made my first sea every life.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
So did you did you? Did you feel? Because I
don't want to sort of scale through what you share
because I'm a two time suicide survivor so and I
know that there are people that are watching this that
are struggling with suicidal ideation, which is the thought of
(17:14):
not just taking a life, but the ways in which
they would want to lead. And I'm thinking about nineteen
year Oldkayler and you said something, you said just wanting
to be seen that I was doing enough and to
(17:36):
think about what happened that day and to think about
where you are. What is the nexus kind of like
this point of kind of this portal, this pathway for
you that allows you to know today that if you
did nothing else, that you've done enough.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I haven't got there yet. I still struggle with that,
still struggle with that.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, how do you manage that?
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Continuing to build? Build in battle?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
M build in battle. That's a word for somebody, and
I have to go there. That's got to be exhausting.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Yeah it can be.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
But can I share someone with you? You gotta rest
And I'm not talking about sleep. I mean rest to
where what you build begins to work for you in
seasons where you don't feel like you always have to
(18:52):
have your hands on the plow. Because because I think
one of the challenges that a lot of successful women,
because I work with a lot of successful women, is
that's the thing that I often hear them say, is that, man,
I just want to be seen that I've done enough
(19:13):
or that I am enough. And as much as that
is a thing where people give us a validation, I
also think that there is a responsibility that we have
to accept that we are rather than waiting for them
to clap because we are.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
That's that's true, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
And you because and I'm saying this is because I
feel the interview taking a ship, because you have done
a lot.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
How do you twenty eight?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You're twenty eight, and I'm going to tell you how
I thought you were, not because you look like I
thought you about thirty three, because of just the way
you carry yourself, and I would not have given you
twenty eight.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
People have seen me like that since I was like five.
They always thought I was older. Yeah, well I carried.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
And I'm saying this because this for you. You got
a long road ahead of you, and you I have
to go back to this building and battling the duality
(20:38):
of that man. Because I once said something when I
was on my tour three years ago. I said, somebody says, man,
what is it like? How does it feel? I said,
imagine yourself building a plane and flying in at the
same time, And can I tell you, Kaylor that thing
damn near killed me because what you realize is that
(21:03):
you're in the air with the plane that's not fully finished.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
And that's what it feels like every day.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
And my hope for you, and this is personal, it
is there not that you find balance, but that you
find space to just rest, to turn your brain off.
Because what we often do is rather than healing, we
(21:40):
keep achieving, you know, because it's easy to go get
another degree, go get another business, go write up another
business plan. Because as much as football was like mike outlet,
theilding thing is your outlet, I assume because when I
(22:00):
can touch something and like, like even when I'm doing
business a day, like when we was talking other day,
I look at everything like like the x's and o's
like in football, like okay, if you're trying to, you know,
get yardage with this play and the defense is set
up to stop you because they're in this type of
(22:22):
formation or they're in this type of defense. I'm always
looking at things like okay, how can I score against
the threat? And then also what is the defense that
I need to you know what I'm saying beyond when
there is an offensive issue, you know what I mean?
And the one of the most challenging things is the
(22:44):
process of to continue looking at everything like that, because
it's also the way I cope. Yeah, that's real, you
know what I'm saying, And it keeps you from happening
to really deal because to deal means you have to feel.
(23:08):
And I want to ask you this question. And this
may be something that you still process because you're so young.
It's so powerful. At the same time, I don't see
it yet, and I know you don't. I know you don't,
but you are. Look at what I walked through the
other day. How big is that building?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Cala thirty almost thirty one thousand square.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Feet thirty one thousand square feet that building. You walked
me into, some green rooms, you walked me into some
media rooms, you walked me into I think that was
like a little kid saying you walked into Hey, you said,
doctor j we're going to be doing podcasts over here.
Like look at what you built.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
And also had another building just a couple of years ago.
I've been in construction for three year and got swindled
out of millions of dollars on that project. And now
the building you saw is the building Actually I wanted
at the very beginning, and it's like God brings it
back full circle.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You know, and he's also bringing it back too, so
you can slow down and see details. Because one of
the things that we missed when we're building and when
we are trying to manage you know what I'm saying emotionally,
(24:37):
it's very challenging to see all of the moving parts.
So I'm with a mentor of mine and we're at
lunch and he's talking to me about the deal that
he has just did, right or a deal that he
was sitting in on with his mentor. So the deal
(24:57):
I can't remember. It was like in the three point
five million or something like that, and I was like
at the time, I'm in my twenties, late twenties, because
he's like taking me on his wing. And again back then,
you know, for somebody to be saying they was doing
like two or three million dollar deal, it's just kind
of like, oh man, this is this is huge. And
he says, the guy says, I don't want to do
(25:20):
the deal, and so he's kind of like, you know,
what do you mean. He says, well, I don't have
enough details, and the guy was like, well, I'm laying
it out for you, He says. Have you ever heard
of saying that the devil is in the details? He says, yes,
(25:41):
I've heard that. He says, Well, I don't have enough
details to see what the devil is. And I just
sat there and I'm sharing that because I think part
of how things are happening for you now is so
you can start seeing details and you can make wiser
(26:05):
decisions on things that will require all of you rather
than just pieces of you. Does that make sense? Yeah? Yeah,
So how do you feel emotionally as you're navigating and
that this may be layer? How do you feel emotionally
(26:27):
now that you're in this space where you're you're working
on this new building.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
I feel peace than I did for the last eight months.
It was the last eight months of my life, hoping.
It feels like I've been living health but I feel
I finally feel peace and relief. That's right now. I'm
at peace and just knowing that God's going to do
(26:57):
his work.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I'm just trusting in the space.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
And thank you for being so vulnerable too, because I
can tell that it's tough for you because you know
and it's a lot to navigate through, and especially when
you got to do it alone, slowly, and nobody tells
you how there in the area is at the top.
(27:27):
And what I'm hoping is that you continue to build
your capacity for being at the top, because one of
the keys to survive in the top of the mountain
is having a capacity to manage the air. You know.
That's why, you know, because I used to hear everybody
(27:49):
can't go, and we hear that, and that's so true.
Have you learned that?
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Yes, yes, a lot this year the past two years,
I have learned, you know, because we have such good
hearts and we want to help everybody, but we have
to know too that, like you said, everybody can't go
(28:15):
with you, and I you know, sometimes you want the
closest people to go with you, and those are the
ones that probably show you too that they're not ready.
And it's and it's okay that they're not ready, and
you just have to know that they're you know that
they're not right, they're not ready, and you just have
(28:35):
to be okay with that. And I think I learned
that early on too, and I just didn't know it
because there was a lot of people I had to
block out early in my life and I've always had
small circles. I never really done like a lot of
friends or kept a lot of people around me. It's
always been like three people and that's it. And you
know it. One day I was at a church service
(28:59):
and different spirits and stuff that you that are people
around you that'll carry that and you take on you
take on that and it becomes heavier and you know,
thepacity said put certain people on your phone and do
not do not answer, like, do not answer certain Yeah,
And I had to learn that for myself early on,
(29:22):
to put that to block that energy out so that
I can start healing from certain from certain situations and
knowing that I have to keep this person at that space.
So now even today, like certain people call the text
one not to answer and not want to respond right
away because I know what type of how much energy
is gonna take out of me? Yeah, you have to
(29:44):
be able to identify and know that.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
So yeah, because that's that that that's hard to identify.
It's hard to not only just identify, it's also hard
to accept, and particularly for people that you thought would
be there, you know. And I think that was one
of the things that really bothered me as my journey
(30:07):
began to change and God begins to expand my territory.
The hardest part was like the people. I was like, oh,
definitely he'll be around or definitely she'll be around. And
even in relationship, that was challenging, you know, because nobody
tells you how the person you're dating impacts not only
(30:30):
your business and your your everything. Like can you speak
to the women who are watching and kind of talk
about that because I can talk about it from my
perspective as a male, But how important is it to
even be connected to the right males? If you're dating
(30:50):
a male per.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Se is super super imperative because you know that's your
your every day who you're dating. Typically, that's who you
talk to nine times out of ten, that's where you're
calling nine times out of ten. And they have to
be at the same emotional have the same emotional capacity
that you have. Yes, because sometimes we find ourselves you're
(31:15):
gonna start pouring into another unhealed man, or he's going
to be pouring and you know, to you it could
go vice versa. But speaking from a woman's perspective, sometimes
we take on men that's not that's not hell, and
then we become their moms, We become their neuturers, We
become so many different things. And that's heavy. And imagine
trying to build an empire and then happening to if
(31:38):
you have children, cater to them and then cater to
the to the man as well. It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
There's a lot you have children.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I have a three year old son, three year old.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Son, And what is that like as a mom to
be building an empire? Being a mom? You know, because
I'm watching my sisters do it, and they, you know,
they're married, and because I don't think there's enough conversation
about people who are married and still feel like they
don't have help.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
And I have no help because I'm here in y'all
list by myself.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
You know, and you here doing this thing alone, building
an empire.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
It's challenging. And I just went to a conference last
week and this lady, she spoke volumes when she says,
sometimes you're gonna be a ce. People with degrees get
sees right. And sometimes when you're a mom, you're gonna
be You're gonna get get a sea one day, You're
gonna get a b maybe another day, and hold on
to those a moments. So sometimes you just say okay.
(32:47):
Sometimes you know, a mom, i'm building, maybe I have
to give my business at a today, but Will Hunter
might get a sea today, but he's okay. The necessities
are taken care of and you just have to do
the best that you can because parenting is hard. My
mom said, having kids is a different realm. I'm understanding
(33:08):
it now.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Yeah, yeah, it's tough. Yeah, And I'm glad that you're
speaking to the women's in what you're sharing, because you know,
we get on social media and we'll and a woman
would look at you because if they're following your social media,
I mean I go to your social media and I'm like, oh,
this girl's killing it. But we don't get to see
the hands and out of people daily practice. This is
(33:32):
why I say social media is not this is not you,
but it's not a real place.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Highlights.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
It's highlights. And I'm so glad that you're talking about
grades or the grading scale for parenting because you won't
always be an A plus parent and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
And sometimes you might get a d You may not
want to say it, but you want to be a
deed sometimes and you still may pass.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
You know what. But nobody talks about sometime you will fail.
Let me say this to you in the camera. Doesn't
mean that you are failure. Listen, you may fail, you
may get an f as a folks say, you may
get a flag as an old folks say in Mississippi,
(34:26):
baby he flaw. You may fail, But that doesn't mean
that you're a failure because there isn't a manual. There
isn't a booklet on parenting. And I don't know because
I'm not a parent. You know, I lost a child
(34:47):
in pregnancy, but I haven't had to raise a child.
But I'm saying this because I want to help those
that are trying to be what their parents weren't to them.
And it's okay if you miss the mark in not
being everything to your child because the stress of just
(35:08):
the day to day. And here's the thing. I'm sitting
here with an very accomplished woman, and I can tell
that that's warfare for you. I can feel it. I
can feel the building and battling. That's a book, typle.
You need to write that book, by the way, seriously,
when you like, you need to write that book in
(35:30):
like the next five years. That is a gold mine,
building and battling. You need to tell a friend put
that in your notes. Building and battling trademark that that
is a book title, because how many people are up
there hammering but they're battling the wars that nobody sees.
(35:53):
They're writing a business plan, but they're battling what the
divorce did to them. You know what I'm saying. You're
building the career, but you're battling what the molestation did.
You're building the business, but you're battling what the emotional
abuse did. That's a warfare. And then it's like I'm
(36:17):
building this building at twenty eight, but then I'm battling.
Am I a good mom? Am I doing enough? As
a mother? I'm raising a young black boy? Am I
giving him everything? So I feel that way? And what
I'm hoping for you, as I was saying earlier, and
(36:38):
this is personal, and what I'm hoping for you, is
that respuites that you will find that the pocket that
today was enough, if you did nothing else, that today
was enough. And Kayla, I had to learn that because
I would close out my laptop from seeing clients and
(37:00):
my brain will still be working, like, Okay, did I
give them enough tools? And I had to get to
the point where say, once I close this laptop, that's it.
Once I get off this last call, close out this
zoom meeting, because the enemy don't get us because we
are successful. He gets us because it's the battles that
(37:23):
we are trying to manage in the midst of the success.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Would you agree, definitely agree. What do you feel like enough.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Is for you? Ooh, that's a good question. For me.
It's when I feel fulfilled that I did everything that
I could do for that day. And my focus is
always been where my feet are planted. My mother a
(37:52):
lover to the moon and back. She's a big tomorrow person,
big tomorrow person, and she's off and like what you're doing?
You know, well, I'm doing this it And I had
to learn that tomorrow gave me such anxiety, which caused
me to miss today and it robbed me so much.
(38:17):
When I was in my twenties, at twenty one, I
went bald. True story, I didn't get drafted, and the
stress of not getting drafted, not because I couldn't play,
because I wanted to show my father that I could
without them. I lost all of my hair. Now this
is my real hair. Me and Charlotmagne joke all the time.
(38:38):
This is not a unit to good brothers. Again, blessings
to those who you know do it. But this is mine.
All this was gone gone stressed. I didn't even know it.
And my barber like, I'm going to get a haircut.
I'm just And this is how my lack of awareness
was just kind of like all I'm thinking, like, oh, sap,
(39:01):
this is just what happens. And my barber was like, nigga,
you're twenty two, why are you going ball Like he
was like, dude, what's going on? And again I didn't
know that I was stressed. I just knew I was
up at night worrying. And every time I went to
the mirror to brush my hair, it was just getting
thinner and thin and thinner. Wow. And I got robbed
(39:26):
from being so worried about tomorrow, next week, next month,
next year. I'm telling my dad, I was so anxious
about next week, like I'm telling you, like I used
to get so anxious about school because it was like
when a teacher said, oh, you have this doing three weeks,
(39:46):
Oh my god, it's shut. My nervous isn't down. I'm like, oh, shoot,
because I would go into the three weeks and I
wouldn't even get started.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
Yeah, because it's too it's too.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
So the procrastination. I was paralyzed. It's only a boy,
the procrastination, but I was paralyzed by the thought of
the three weeks. And in three weeks coming the lady
goes my teacher professor like, Jay, you had it. I
was like, Oh, it was just like I didn't have.
So I've learned that enough for me is that whatever
(40:18):
I can do in that time span, that's it. That's it,
nothing more. And also having a cutoff time. I watched
so many people in business, and I understand entrepreneurship because
I didn't work for anybody. Was in the grad school.
I had to do my internship. But so many entrepreneurs,
(40:41):
this whole twenty four to eight, this whole grind all day,
this overworked culture. Man, I'm not using like, I'm not
using toxic and all that. It's deadly. That's what I'm
gonna say. It will kill you. I literally just came
across a post. I don't know if you saw it.
There's a black one who had a business and they
(41:02):
were saying that she was working seven days a week
and she was running her business. Did you see that post?
I just came across it, and she was working seven
days a week, none stop, six seven days a week
and went home one night, went to sleep, to take
a nap to rest, and never woke up. Oh, And
(41:25):
I was reading the comments of just how exhausted people
were saying that they are trying not owing to run
a business, but doing business two different things. Because you
have the operations, and you have the marketing and advertising,
the management of people, the management of the system. It's
(41:47):
a lot, lot it's.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Too much sometimes. And I was just saying that yesterday,
and we're here trying to catch up on all my emails,
and I used AI a lot now too. I said,
should I send this email now because I think you
were gonna read it? And it said, actually, CEO's founders,
it's the perfect time to send emails on a Saturday
(42:10):
because they're more than likely to be the ones to
go through their email. And that just shows that we
don't rest at all, because we should be resting on
a Saturday, and we're more than likely to respond.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
On AI said that to you, WHOA.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
And I pressend in every last one of those founders responded, Wow.
Now the executives for the companies for like everybody else,
they respond because they probably gonna respond on Monday, but
all of CEO's founders they responded on Saturday. It just
shows how overworked we are.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Wow. And AI told you that. That's just want pause
think about that. AI told you that.
Speaker 3 (43:00):
M h.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
And I'm not saying AI will take over, but the
effectiveness of AI is that it's going to outsmart us.
And that's scary because I didn't even know that. And
(43:26):
now I'm finna go through all my emails and email
all these CEOs like man sending these chats, all of them,
c J. Let's let's get on next Saturday. Wee getting
up at six a m. And send out emails. Wow,
oh man, you got me stumbling now and not on
(43:49):
anything but just we're we're we're, we're exhausted. What do
you do for fun?
Speaker 2 (44:02):
Drink a doctor pepper.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Literally, and that's and how often do you drink a doctor?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Have to have one? Once Aday Pham cuked with extra ice.
That's my happy place?
Speaker 1 (44:18):
Really? Yeah, where did that begin?
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Mm hmmm? Tied in Texas? Yeah, these don't cold to
drink a few years back.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
You got to introduce it. Somebody introduce you to doctor Pepper.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
I got off. Yeah, no, I just I don't know.
I just picked up on it one day. Nothing really interesting,
but yeah, I just found it as a happy place.
So they all know, go give me a doctor pepper.
I'm stressed.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Really hmmm, try.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
The most unhealthiest thing, but hey, that's what works for me.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Yeah, want to day, Yeah, like a large.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Coat, like a rap forty four from Sonic.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
Big Boy. Yeah you big boy round forty four with
the with the with the slushy ice or big ice
cubes slushy ice. Okay, yeah yeah you big boy. Yeah,
and you have one of those a day. Come on, Okay, now.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
I'm okay, don't no, no, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
I'm not, I'm not. I just want you to have
your kidness. By the time you're thirty, they're still functioning
just because the matter of sugar. That doctor pepper. Good God.
So anyway, what I'm hoping is that you find another
healthy place to be in besides a Route forty four
(45:47):
cup of doctor Pepper, which is nothing wrong with that,
but how often do you get outside and enjoy nature.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
That doesn't happen. Why there's no time?
Speaker 1 (46:00):
What do you mean it's on time, it's some time.
So you know you asked me the other day the
mentor you.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
Right, what I asked for myself by exactly.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna take you on,
but you're gonna have to listen, and not listen because
I'm telling you what's right, but listen because it's gonna
give you sustainability. You want what you're building at twenty eight.
You want to be around for it at fifty. Yeah,
(46:35):
you know what you know, and as much capacity as
you have, you have to use wisdom with it because
you can go, you can go again. I was, you know,
like when I was walking around in y'all building, I was,
I was. I'm gonna tell you what I was doing,
and Chris is probably gonna say, you know, I was
(47:00):
praying for you. You need it. You need a lot
of prayer and it's not bad, but just because you
need to support spiritually because you are a black woman
that's doing something that's never been done, you know, and
(47:23):
you don't need people to just girl, let me get
around you because you got do saying gabana on and
you got the newest bag, and you've got all these things.
You need somebody people around you that understand the weight
of what you're carrying is also heavy and burdensome. And
(47:44):
it's not just hopping in the whip and hopping out
the cars and all that different type of stuff. Because
see that stuff looks fun, but nobody knows when you
got to go home and start looking at these numbers,
and you done paid for these people to do some work,
and now all of a sudden you realize they started,
but they didn't finish. They ran off with the bread.
Now then to put you in the hole. And now
(48:05):
you in the hole, you trying to figure out how
do we get this to pay this person? And once
we get this paid, then we got to come back
over here. And I feel all of that. When I
was talking to you a friend the other day, I
had to get out of there because again I don't like,
I don't intrude, but I was praying, and in that
(48:26):
moment I felt led to just kind of pour into
you and even the things that I shared, like I
just like I just met you for like ten minutes
in a green room and then Vee was like, hey,
I want you to interview Kaylor And when she said that,
When she said that, I was just like, Okay, yeah, absolutely,
(48:48):
And I said, well, what's her story? She said, well,
I'll let her tell you. I said, well, you know what,
don't tell me. You know, because everybody that God brings
up my space to put on this podcast, I know
it is a reason for them to be here because
there's something that God wants to heal through them, but
also heal the people that are watching. Because what I
(49:09):
love about this is that people get to see this
in real time because most sisters, like yourself never get
to space. It's just you know what, I noticed, you
have been taking more breaths since you've been sitting in
that chair than you did in the green room when
(49:32):
you was in the green room. Again, because I'm an observant,
this is you the whole time, and I can tell
that that was just like it's business as usual, but
also it's like it's like, you know, it's aints and
I'm not saying this, you know, from a place of arrogance,
(49:54):
but when people come in my pain, my presence, it's
peaceful and you're taking a breath because oh gosh, this
is You're taking these breaths because you don't know when
you'll get the opportunity to take them again.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:17):
So my challenge to you is, as you continue on
this journey building businesses and creating opportunities for people and
given and giving and giving, I want to challenge you
to turn your poor inward. And you may not know
(50:38):
what that looks like now, but take time to just exhale.
When I think about the movie Waiting to exhale, listen
to that waiting to exhale. If you're waiting excel, you'll
be dead Artinsai Blise dead. So I want you to
(51:00):
wait until you feel like you arrived at a place
where you can finally because it may be too late.
Speaker 2 (51:07):
I love you said that because I've everyone says take
a breath break. You said rest and say rest like
it's okay to rest, and I'm like, no, when I'm forty,
I rest. That's what I just keep saying. I said
what I'm forty like.
Speaker 1 (51:19):
You No, no, no young to risk no because you
because you won't make it to forty and your rest
will be your final one. Bu talk. And when I
say rest, I'm not just saying sleep. Some things like
(51:40):
this whole podcast thing. Again, this is a testimony for me.
All of this came about because I rested Charlomagne and
his team reached out. My mentor had told me the
same thing i'm telling you. Last December, I took six
I had vertigo from traveling and my body was compromised.
I'm actually interviewing doctor Jill later today and she was
(52:03):
looking at my blood work. Man, everything was out of
whack because I was hopping on stage, off the stage
and pouring into black men and pouring into black boys.
And then I will get off stage and come home.
Instead of wresting. I'm seeing clients virtually, so my poor
was never off. It was never off, and then I
(52:24):
ain't have nobody pouring back in the meeting. I'm dating
a young lady, sweet, but she didn't know. She didn't know.
She just kind of like, hey, you know, you're doing
a great job. And sometimes for people who carry heavy mantle,
we don't need applause. In fact, they put your hands
(52:44):
up and start praying instead of doing this. Do this.
That's what we need. But people who are enamored with
us at times don't know because they like, man, you
doing a Kayla girl, you doing and not realizing you
need a place where you can just say, man, I'm
(53:04):
dying and as much as I am trying to succeed,
I'm failing, and that's what I want for you. And
not realizing my mentor. She says, Jay, you've done enough
in the mental health space. Let it work for you.
(53:27):
And Charlomagnetine called me, wow, and they said, hey, let's
start putting this deal together for the podcast. I said, Okay,
things just started happening. I ain't had to call nobody,
I ain't had to go search nobody, i ain't had
to call the publicy. It just started working for me.
And I'm gonna go biblical because this is my platform
(53:48):
because part of the promise to Joshua that God gave
Joshua was rest. Rest was a part of the promise.
It wasn't just the promised land, it was also rest
because could you imagine how tired them folks was are
walking around in the wilderness for forty years. That's why
(54:12):
I imagine, I said, when I'm looking at the real time,
said these Nigro was crazy. Everybody was like your mental capacity,
your mental ability to decide and make logical, it's gone
it's hot, you're getting mantled at night, you trying to
figure out, you laying down, you uncomfortable, and all this
(54:34):
type of stuff. And then this man said, come on,
follow me, and you like, man whatever, But God want
us to rest. That way what we have built would
begin to work for us. And it's like I said,
a good sword, because you were there when you put
the seed in the ground. You can't go back to
(54:56):
the ground and keep digging it up. You gotta let
to see rest in the ground. And it needs its process.
And so there are some things that you're building that
you probably can say, you know what, I can take
my hands off of this for now, and you touch
something else and it gives you a moment to breed
(55:18):
and it's and it's not juggling. It's understanding seasons. Does
that Does that make sense? It's understanding seasons because some
season will require you to toil. In some season you say, hey, friend,
we're gonna pull off on this right now. And that
(55:39):
way there's a sequence that when this is working, that
is coming behind that, you know what I mean. And
you build a system for yourself, and you always build
a system for your rest, because if you're not here.
What happened to blueprint? Because you're the brains and nobody's
(56:05):
talking about Black women are having strokes at a higher
rate and not because they're unhealthy.
Speaker 2 (56:14):
Stress.
Speaker 1 (56:15):
Say that again. Stress, it's stress. Its stress.
Speaker 2 (56:21):
I found myself in the hospital earlier this year. Stress
can they can't find out nothing that's wrong. I went
in for abdominal pain and I ended up being septic,
so I'd stay in a couple of days. But it
probably all rooted for stress. It's just stress.
Speaker 1 (56:42):
Yeah. That's my prayer for you, is that God send
the right people to support what you're doing, and rest
is included in what you're building. As much as I
love the title building and battling, but I don't want
you to always be battling, and I don't always want
(57:05):
you to be building because you already made it. I mean,
you're twenty I'm telling I'm just I'm like you had
a suicide temp at nineteen, bankruptc at twenty one, getting
ready to open up this huge center at twenty eight.
It's a lot, But I want you to know, as
(57:28):
a black man, I see you for who you are,
not for what you've done, but just for who you are.
Thank you, And I hope you begin to see yourself
more and that way you don't have to feel like
you have to keep working to be seen because there's
a lot of young girls and a lot of women.
Healing is attached not to your success, but to your process.
Speaker 2 (57:56):
It's a long process.
Speaker 1 (57:57):
That's okay, Okay, okay. The blessings is in the process.
Speaker 2 (58:03):
It is. That's what I love so much about this journey.
And even when you know we talk about healing, I'm
just now starting to relate to the different traumatic experiences
you know, we may have been through and it makes
us who we are today. And I'm trying to just
(58:25):
be okay with every Like you said, everything is a
season and we just have to know when to deal
with Yeah.
Speaker 1 (58:33):
Last question, what does healing? What is that for you?
What is healing for you?
Speaker 2 (58:41):
Mm hmm, I would say helious. I always say healing
while hustling is just being okay to talk about it.
There are certain things that I've been through that I
know I can't talk about yet, but I know I've
(59:03):
healed from it once I can talk about it. So
like you know, you know, childhood, milestation we can talk about.
We can talk about suicide. We can talk about certain things,
but it's okay to feel and it's okay to just
(59:25):
just be okay with with you because these experiences make
us who we are and where is life. We're gonna
go through some challenges, but don't live and sit in
it forever. Just be okay. I know that's your path.
Speaker 1 (59:45):
I love that. I love this, I love it. Well, guys,
I'm gonna take a deep breath because this interview was
very powerful, very vulnerable, and it was very real. It's
(01:00:06):
a word that I'm thinking about. It's very real, and
I'm grateful for Kayla just being here, being open and
allowing me to share and the pourtant to her. And
you're seeing a woman who is a phenomenal businesswoman, but
you're also seeing a woman who is yet on her journey.
(01:00:27):
And you may be there, you may be at a
place where you are building and battling. But if you
get nothing else out of this, I encourage you to rest,
because if you're trying to build and you're trying to battle,
you want to exhaust yourself. And if you want stability
and you want longevity and you want to be able
(01:00:50):
to really live in what you're building. You got to
give yourself an opportunity to rest. Thank you, Kayla. I
speak blessings over your business. I know it's gonna be well.
And you asked me to mentor you, so I'm gonna
say yes on on on this podcast. So you know
what I mean. So we're gonna get youresting. You're gonna
(01:01:12):
keep making money, but babe, we're gonna get you theresting.
We can get you arresting. So go follow Kayla. Kayla
Sharie the blueprint university, amazing business model that is connecting
Fortune five hundred companies to small business owners. They help
with funding. I mean, she is brilliant and uh and
(01:01:35):
I encourage you to not only this is not about supporting,
but go there because she's a big on educating. She's
a big educator on business. And so again, remember healing
is a journey and wholeness is the destination. And until
next time, I will see you. I am doctor J.
(01:01:56):
And this is another episode of Just Here with Doctor J.
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