October 7, 2025 • 64 mins
In this episode of Just Heal with Dr. J, host Dr. J Barnett sits down with actress Parker McKenna Posey for an intimate conversation on healing, motherhood, and personal transformation. Parker opens up about her journey of self-discovery, the influence of childhood experiences on adult relationships, and the challenges of navigating fame and identity in the entertainment industry. Together, they explore the power of community support, self-love, and resiliencein overcoming emotional wounds. The discussion emphasizes the importance of finding one’s voice, embracing vulnerability, and pursuing dreams without limitation. The episode concludes with a powerful prayer for healing and renewal, inspiring listeners to honor their growth and continue the journey toward wholeness.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Just Heal with Doctor J, a production of
the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
another episode of Just Heal with Doctor J. And I
am your host, Doctor J. Barnett. Listen some of y'all
been eavesdropping all my episodes. I want to tell you
to go ahead and subscribe to Just Heal Doctor J
(00:20):
on the YouTube channel, Join the healing community. You can
listen audibly on Spotify, the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart
Podcast and anywhere you listen to podcasts. We are doing
some amazing things over here in the healing community. In
the next couple of months, I'm going to be doing
a live talking about different ways to continue your healing
(00:42):
journey without having to pay all that money to a therapist.
And I know that's strange because I'm a therapist, but
I do think that community is important if you're going
to navigate your journey of healing. So I'm excited because
I love to bring people from all walks of life
to the healing community so you guys can hear in
(01:03):
real time stories, experiences, and to hear the journey that
many are taking to their wholeness, to discovering themselves and
also how they are healing and what does that look
like for them. I'm honored today to have the amazing
actress Parker Makenna Posey here joining us in the Healing community.
(01:28):
I grew up you know what, I didn't grow up
because I'm older than her, but we watched her work,
did a phenomenal job. She's amazing on my wife and kids,
which was one of my favorite shows at the time,
and just to see the woman that she has evolved into,
it's so beautiful and I'm so grateful to have her
(01:48):
here today joining the healing community. Park How you doing,
I am doing so good.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Thanks for having me listen.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I love your energy. Man, He's so bubbly, and you know,
we've been doing this all day and you come in
with all the energy.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I'm trying. I'm trying. It's been a weird day, but
I'm like, let me get let me give you all
some goodness, let me be think.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I love it. You're not trying. You're doing because if
you were trying, you would have showed up that part.
So thank you for showing up today. And we're so
grateful to have this conversation with you. So in every
discussion I always like to ask the guests, how are
they feeling?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Oh, goodness, I am tired today. Is it a today
question or is it just like in general in this moment.
In this moment, I'm happy to be here. I'm feeling
blessed to have, like, I think, a good conversation. I
think we'll get somewhere today. I think based off of
what I've seen or what I know from this show,
I think I'm gonna walk away feeling very healed and
(02:48):
feeling like, yes, I'm going to continue my healing journey
and I'm going to get some keys from you. I think, yes,
And I'm lovey to just discuss like my real life
because you know, I don't do interviews that often.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
So yes, exactly. And I love it because when Bianca
told us that you were open to coming on the show,
I was so excited because a lot of times I've
been in entertainment. I was a pro athlete at one time,
and I acted. I've started out in theater and sometimes
(03:20):
from the outside we're not seen beyond the characters that
we played. Yes, And when Beyonca was sharing like, hey,
Parker is really excited to come, I said, no, man,
it's so dope, because I know what it's like to
be a performer and no one knows who you are
as an individual. And I'm glad that my audience and
(03:40):
those who were watched this get to see the woman
that you are becoming. When you think about I know
we s talking earlier. You just made thirty. Yes, man, congratulations.
You know I was telling you, like, thirty is the
number that I'll never forget because at thirty, I feel
like the light came the light bulb came on. It
was like, wow, Okay, this is really happening when you
(04:05):
turn thirty, Like there's something click, there's something shift for you,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
What I think, because like, you know, we were talking
about it, So when you said that to me, I'm like, dang,
I kind of already feel like I've been thirty, like
and I know that probably sounds weird, but I think
maybe just motherhood was probably like when I opened my
eyes and I was like, okay, like I'm really not
a kid anymore, and I have to just be a
grown woman, you know, like you have to take care
(04:30):
of a whole nother person and just show her I
have a daughter, so I have to show her how
to you know, be a woman. So I felt like, Okay,
it's time for me to like step it up in
some areas because I was still I still have my
childish ways like I do, like I'm a big kid
at heart. I feel like I love to have a
lot of fun. Like you say, I'm bubbly, Like I
just have that energy. But I'm also a very serious
(04:51):
woman as well, and like I'm about my business and
I feel like just being a woman in general and
having a daughter, I felt like, Okay, I need to
really stand on business now.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And yeah, different ways, but I like that you share
that you're a big kid at are your woman to
stand on business and you're about your business. That's the
duality of life. Yes, I think when we miss not
holding on to our childhood and and and holding on
(05:20):
to the inner child within us, we rob ourselves of
what adulthood can really reveal, because I think there's a
part of us where the child has to be seen,
you know, Like there's times where I am literally like
you know what, I'm gonna watch some cartoons today. Yes,
and my favorite cartoon was Scooby Doode growing up. I
love Scooby doo way. Oh my gosh. Another school.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Oh my gosh, Like I have the T shirts and everything,
like I love.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You're not gonna beleeve it. So I have to share
this story. So when I was in high school, after
football season, I would do powerlifting and laughing. I dated
a girl who gifted me a Scooby Dooe doll stuff animal.
He was about this tall, and she would bring into
my powerlifting meats and sit the dog in the stands
(06:11):
and I would always like wave with the dog. People
was like, this kid is weird, but it was made
you happy. It did Like I'm sitting there squatting five
hundred pounds and they were like And then after I
was finished my lift, I would go pick up at dogs.
They'd be like this kids strong as hell, but he's
holding on to the stuff animal dog? Like what is
wrong with him? You know? But no, that is so dope?
What so? What what did you like about the cartoon?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I've always just been a mystery kind of gy I am.
I am a thriller girl. I'm a horror girl. So
I wouldn't want to know things friends were would love
to be a detective in this life.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I just played a detective. Was that what?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
My god, I'm nosy.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That was what I tell everyone that I'm like, I'm
a really nosy person. Like I just I just like
to know.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
And for no reason, I wanted to know, what does
this nigga do? Like I wanted to know.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You said it, I'm glad you took.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah. I'm like, only should.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Cuts here, okay yourself?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
This is a human community. Yeah, so I love mystery.
I love horror. My favorite horror all time. Michael Myers.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh yes, I love it, Like I have.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
To watch it every Halloween and I have to watch
it during the day.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
During the day.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, they're scared. I don't get scared, but there's a
part of me that don't want to see this shadow
because he's a thing. Your mind can really do some funky.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Things, especially when it's dark. For some reason, it's like
it gets even creepier.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right and knowing that I'm a full grown man and
knowing that nothing is going to get me, but you
feel like, man, it's I live by myself, so it's
like I don't have kids. I used to have a dog,
gave it to my best friend. So my house is
like whyt and I have to turn all the lights
on because I was like, if this negro is by
(08:00):
behind this door, I'm gonna shoot them. So I can't
watch that stuff in dark. Did you watch hor I do?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, I'm a real I'm a rello g and we
just do stuff like that. Oh yeah, one day, one day,
maybe I'll reach my level, but for now, just keep
the lights on.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Stay.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
What are the secrets?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I don't know. I think it's probably the extracurricular activities
that I do before I sit down and watch a movie.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So you already face Yeah, I'm already.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
In just a chill, chill mindset, just relaxing. You know,
my daughter's sleep, I got my snacks and it's just
it's mom time, you know, and I put on I
used to watch one thing that this probably makes no
sense to anybody, but Disappear. And I don't know if
you know that show because I like like true crime,
I like like forty eight hours. Yeah, so that show
scares me. That is a show that I can't watch
(08:49):
with the lights offer. So I don't know why, and
it sounds strange because I don't know why. I think
I'm gonna get disappeared, but I don't. I don't know, but.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
You know that's real. I don't know if I'm not
a woman, but I imagine that because sometimes what is
happening that there's parts of the brain that are not
necessarily triggered, but the sensor goes off where it's like
I ain't going that far. Yeah, because subconsciously there's a
thought like I don't want to be adupted exactly. Like
(09:18):
I grew up where we would go to the grocery
stores and I remember this one particular time we walked
in the grocery store and it was all these kids
that were missing, and I told my mom, I said,
you terrified us because she was like, this is what happened.
If you go in the store and you walk away
from me, you gonna end up on one of these posters.
(09:39):
And I know when I watched those stories with people men,
I was just like, oh my god, because it's like
a most terrifying thing that a kid or a person
goes missing and vanished with no trees, right.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Never hear from them again, never see them ever again.
So yeah, that scares me way more than like Michael
Myers or like my favorite movie is The Strangers. Have
you seen that I.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Just saw the new one, not the new one, the
old one. Oh, the old one. Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
I did like.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Strangers my favorite scary movie. I like real life scary movies.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Because the one where they were dead at the entire time,
they were no, you know what I'm thinking about the others.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
The others. Oh, that was scary too. With Nicole Kidman Fire.
Oh he knows his movies.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yes, don't don't let the doctor fool you. I know myself.
Yeah that that that that was a really crazy one because, uh,
I part of wanting the reason I wanted to become
a therapist is I wanted to really understand the minds
of people. And when I'm watching movies, I'm usually looking
(10:48):
for these different pockets to where I can discover like, oh,
what was that character thinking of how were they processing
and all those different things. So yeah, I love movies
that are horror films that kind of make you think,
you know, you just kind of like what's really going on?
And then all of a sudden, it's like all these
people were dead the entire time, right, was crazy?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yet now we got that out the wake ice Freak.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yes, So your daughter, how has she impacted your life?
And what have you noticed that has changed about yourself
since happening your daughter?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I goodness, where to begin. What has changed is just
like I was saying before, just wanting to be more
confident as a woman, be more confident in my power
as a woman, as a person, and just there was
just so many things, Like when I was pregnant, I
just had a lot of time to think because I
(11:47):
was pregnant during COVID, So I feel like I had
a lot of time to think and just sit and
think about all the things that I've been through, all
the things that I've put other people through, and just
wanting just better for her. So it's just made me
want to be the best version of myself in many
many different ways, like outside of just being a good mom,
just like showing up as being the best version of
(12:08):
Parker period. Even there's been times on sticking up for
myself more like that was a thing that I was like, Okay,
how am I going to raise a little person and
tell them to do these things that like I'm not
even fully doing yet. So there was a lot of
things that I've had to think about on that end
where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna have to teach
her how to do these things, and sometimes I'm not
(12:28):
even the best at it. So I wanted to like
master those things and just stand up for myself a
little bit more because there's been some weird things I'm
sure you could understand, like on set or just as
a woman in general, it's hard for us out here sometimes.
So it's like I wanted to be able to teach
her how to just be strong and independent and take
care of yourself whether I'm there or not. So that
definitely was big for me. And yeah, I just wanted
(12:51):
just wanting to show up as the best version of
myself and make sure that I'm okay. I'm way more
cautious now as well, like way more scary, Like I
like to live life on the edge. I like to
have a lot of fun sometimes, but take me home
because I want to be with my kid at the
end of the night. So that's me, Like I'm always
saying stuff like that, like we can be out having
the best time ever, or you know, I could be
(13:13):
on the trip of a lifetime and I'm like no,
but I just want to be with my daughter. So
that's that's what it's changed.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
So what I'm hearing you say, is that your daughter
gave you an opportunity to find your voice? Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Absolutely, way more.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, what was it like growing up if you can
put yourself in your daughter's shoes, but in your shoes
not having a voice.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Mmm, I think that, Look, you're already about to get
some tears out of me. Growing up and feeling like
I didn't have a voice just felt like a scary, scary,
scary time I felt like. And it's not that I
didn't feel like I didn't have a voice growing up,
because I've always been like bry myself, like how I
(14:01):
told you guys before I came in here, Like I
can be a lot sometimes, you know, but just I
feel like in the household, like my mom is white,
but it gave like black households sometimes, or like we
didn't always talk about our feelings. So I think that
that's where it like it showed up more in that
space where it was like, you know, I always had
a voice, but I didn't have a voice when it
(14:22):
came to certain things. So I think that's where it
like really fucked me up. And like now I definitely
like I wouldn't say I'm the best communicator, like in relationships.
So I think that that's where it definitely messed me up.
And just even now having you know, this relationship with
my daughter and making sure that I wanted to obviously
(14:43):
be the best thing. I want to over communicate with
her sometimes, you know, but it's hard with others sometimes.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
And I want to say it is, don't allow yourself
to feel like you have to do it perfect. Right.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I'm very hard on myself, thank you, Very very hard
on myself. So yeah, it's like, I don't know where
this version of like I have to be a perfectionist
came from, because I'm not perfect at anything that I do.
You know, I don't think anybody is. Practice makes perfect,
though practice makes almost perfect, I don't think anything can
(15:22):
be perfect. It's such a way too much pressure.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
So yeah, And the reason I said that is because
when when there are things about our childhood that we
didn't get and now we're challenged to give it to
our kids, there is this overwhelming sense of man, I
(15:45):
gotta correct this, because if I don't correct this, they
want to have the same experience and what I often
share with When I started out working in the field
of mental health, I started with young girls and I
started with girls in group homes and most of these
girls were victim of sex trafficking. These girls have been molested, abuse,
(16:10):
all of their experiences with men and with their family
had been very traumatized. And I was like, God, why
do you have me. I'm a former football player, but
I'm the older brother too sisters, so I'm the only boy.
And God said, I want you to change not just
how they see men, but how they see themselves by
(16:33):
a different encounter with you as a male. So here
I am working with girls who he don't have a father.
B if they did have a father. The girls that
I was working with, many of them had been touched
by their father. Then those who have been touched by it.
(16:54):
I mean, it was just so much. And I'm just like, dude,
like I don't even know how I create this program.
My create it was an emotional recovery, my emotional recovery
program for teen girls. And one day we did a
exercise that I called Mirror Mirror. I will never forget this.
The exercise is the girl will stand up in a
(17:16):
circle where it's closed. She will hold a mirror to
her face, hold it up and I would ask a
question The hard part was that she had to answer
the question looking at herself. I'm saying that because sometimes
kids make us face are inner child, and most parents
(17:40):
are afraid to look at it because it's like why
would I give her or give him what I didn't have?
So I'm sharing this because I think it's important to
applaud you that you are doing that and your best
way that you possibly can, and that way you don't
feel this pressure like it has to be like this, right,
(18:04):
you know what I mean, because you're creating your own
way to communicate with her, which will help you as
you're navigating because a lot of times when we don't
communicate in relationship, it's not that we can when the
relationship in our households were challenging to communicate, that's it.
(18:24):
It's not that we can't talk. It's like I said
something like this at home and it wasn't received well,
or I tried to and nobody listened. Yeah, you know
that was my experience. I didn't have a voice as
a kid because I was a only son that had
to take care of my mom, take care of my
(18:44):
sister's soul. When I was in a relationship, A woman
asked me, like, what's long. I was like, oh, I
don't know, because no one never asked me when my
father divorced my mom and left, nobody never asked me
how I was doing. I didn't hear that until I
was thirty one, being that they ever said how are
you feeling? I was like, I said, no, one was
(19:05):
never asking me that. So what you're doing as a
mother is so powerful to give that to your daughter.
So I just had to get that out.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Thank you. Yes, this is the one thing that I
do do good be a mom, But.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I got to challenge you on that you do well
being you.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yes, I think that, like I'm still on the journey
to like, like you know how it clicked for you
at thirty, Like, I don't know what, I don't know.
I'm still trying. It's like me as a mother, I'm great,
but me as like Parker, it's like I'm still figuring
out who Parker is and me personally. I feel like
that's a lifelong journey. It is because I know that,
like we evolved so much and I'm not the same
(19:47):
person I was before I had her. I'm not the
same person that I was in twenty eighteen. You know,
what I'm saying. It's just like I've changed a lot,
and I'm still figuring out who Parker is. Like what
I like, what I don't like is changing all the time,
even like when it comes to relationships, when it comes
to just what I like personally. So I'm still figuring
(20:08):
out who she is. But I love her and I
fuck with who I am today right now, and that's enough.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
And as long as you can rest and that you'll
always embrace who you're becoming. When I said the lightbulb
came on in thirty, it doesn't mean that the light
stayed on. It came on at thirty, but that joger
turned off at thirty one because I had a second
suicide attempt at thirty one. So when you talk about
(20:40):
it's a constant journey, Like when I look at myself
at forty three, I'm sitting here, but there's about ten
people sitting here, Like literally, there's a little there's a
little boy that has memories of his childhood that I
don't think will ever go away. Now they don't have
the same impact. There's a man here that misses football. Sometimes,
(21:04):
there's a man who wish that his father would really
turn the corner. So when you say it's a journey,
it's true for no matter where you are in life,
no matter what age. But the humility in knowing that
life is this classroom that we should never graduate from
is what is going to keep you growing and that's
(21:25):
all that matters. Do you feel in the entertainment space
that you obviously have grown up in and which is
the majority of your work life, meaning that it's where
you make a living in some way? Does that kind
(21:48):
of interfere with you trying to grow? As you know
what I'm saying because of the environment.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Sometimes absolutely, I mean absolutely, Like I say all the time,
I'm like I want to I hate saying this on
camera because everyone's gonna fucking hear it. But it's just
like I want to be somewhere on a farm, Like
I don't want to be like you know what I'm saying,
Like CJ.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Why do we this is my new best friend. Man,
we talk about this all the time. I'm gonna go
somewhere quiet.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, that's what I'm on. So it's just like, this
is just my life. And I always like, so I
have my my family situation dynamic is interesting because I
always say have two dads, like I have a biological father,
but I have another man who stepped up and helped
raise me at a certain point in my life. And
I always he helped me book my wife and kids.
(22:38):
He was my manager since I was a little girl,
and you know, he's been on and off my team
all throughout my career. But I always look at him
and I'm like, you did this to me, because I'm like, really,
you know, it just it can be a hassle sometimes
it really can. And it's not that I don't love
what I do, because obviously when I'm in front of
the camera even you know, I'm on my new music
journey and stuff. Whenever i'm creating period, I'm having the
(23:01):
most amazing time. And I love what I do, and
I'm so blessed. And I'm also blessed to even still
be here twenty years later, you know. But there's a
part of me that really enjoys peace and quiet, like
you said, and I really enjoy just being away from
the bullshit. And unfortunately, like entertainment business is a lot
of bullshit, and I just it doesn't soothe my soul.
(23:25):
So I don't feel like I can ever be at
peace until I'm like done with it.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
So, oh, man, I got alls.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I didn't come here grow therapy.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh no, no, no, no, I'm listen, listen, No it's not there.
I'm thinking what you're saying is what I think often. Yeah,
when because we have in this moment when when I
think about like life and its totality, I often thinking
about when would I ever get to the piece? And
I'm sharing this from somebody who struggled as I've been open.
(24:05):
I've struggled with suicide ideation obviously with two attempts, and
when you have survived that, there is a propensity to
constantly rehearse you know what life could be if you
(24:26):
wasn't here. And I'm just being real in this moment
and thoughts of like, man, the peace ain't coming, you
know what I mean, and trying to understand how do
I create it? How do I find it? But something
that I had to realize over the years is that
I had to becoming internally so and saying that I'm
(24:51):
sitting and thinking about you and your journey. What would
peace look like for you?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yes, yeah, that's a good question. I think that it's
just been so chaotic, like the past I mean, I
would say like since just like since I don't even know,
if you know, like about the relationship that I had
that was very like abusive, toxic, it was very short,
short amount of time. But I will say, like ever
(25:21):
since then, I'm sure life has just been like very
it's just been different. And and then you know, we
have mother then we have marriage, then we have motherhood,
then we have the rest of life, COVID all, you know, everything.
So it's just like a lot has happened. So I
really don't even know. I mean peace to me, like
(25:42):
because I find little moments of peace, like I'm I
do because I have to. But that's when I'm away,
Like I fully packed up and moved to Arizona to
find peace, to get out of La to get away
from my marriage and just everyone here that was like
driving me crazy. Is me feeling constantly pulled in so
many different directions. So it's like I do find little
(26:06):
moments of peace. I do, and that you know, revolves
around me not being in La, me being somewhere up
in the mountains with my daughter. Off of social media.
That's another thing, like social media, I'm sorry, like we
need it to survive of course, and I'm on my
phone all the goddamn time. I can't even lie like
it's a problem. But I just don't find joy and
(26:28):
stuff like that. Like I find joy and peace elsewhere
away from you.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Find it in the stillness. I do. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
How often do you try to get steal.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
As much as possible? Yes, as much as possible. Like
I was just telling my manager, I'm like, I'm gonna
go wait for like two weeks. I mean, I'm gonna
be moving and doing stuff. But even when I'm there,
like I'm gonna go in my room, you know, do
my little things, watch my row Housewives. That's where I
find my peace. I just, you know, I just become
a bum for a little bit. I find peace and
working out, just taking care of go to the I
(27:00):
love hiking, being in nature, stuff like that. I'm August eighteen.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You just had a birthday. Yeah, your birthday was all
the ship takes.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah, I was about to say the way you sit
at the tribe was like, man, she sounded like an
April baby. Because tourists, man, but you know, let you Yes, Oh.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I love taurists. That's funny.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah, yeah, come on, bull game, that's gang gay. No, yeah,
just gang gay. It's like we're not promoting anything.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
No, not at all, absolutely no.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
But no, I love that you have created this, this
system that revolves around you, creating stillness and creating pockets
of peace or I like to say moments of joy. Yes,
for yourself because in the field that you're in, you
(27:57):
know a lot of toxicity, a lot just like you said,
just like, man, it's some bs. If you don't create
that piece for yourself, you'll find yourself in somebody's corner
and a stray jacket. Literally, how have you been able
to really just I mean twenty years in your career,
(28:20):
Like what has been two things that has really kept you?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
My family and because I have a lot of good
people in my family that have always just that's good.
Like they truly are amazing just always there for me.
So them, I owe a lot to them honestly, and
just my mindset, Like I am a very although I
(28:48):
can be hard on myself, and you know, we all
have our ups and downs and we all go through whatever.
I am a very like care free person at the
same time, like I find it very easy to get
over things and to just like mean, in my my
sister makes so to me. People make fun of me
sometimes cause I'll be in like my own world, so
I have to create my own world or just you know,
find those pockets of joy, those little things, even if
(29:10):
I have to throw Scooby Doo on for thirty fuckings.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I drive my sister crazy because I'm constantly replaying like
the same YouTuber over and over and she's like, what
the fuck, Like how many times can you listen to this?
And I'm like, I just have to because it's like
it's something that's gonna get my energy back, right if
it's slowly sinking or you guys need me to be
on set or you need me to go do whatever,
and if I need a moment to just recharge, like
that's that's I've found that. Got to just keep that
(29:36):
free spirit, that that mindset is just.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Man, we need we need like how they have those
Teslas chargers charging ports. We need to have that for
human life.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yes, we do.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Because we are too old, We're too stimulated. Like I
tell people, like, man, it's just too much stimulation just
shuts me down. Yeah, And I love that you're so
conscious and aware of that, because I mean, you look
in the industry, so many people have fallen apar Yeah,
(30:11):
because they didn't have a good circle, a good family,
a good support system.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
It's hard, though, because when you have a lot of
people around you, especially in this industry, that just want
to be around you or have what you have, or
they think that shit is fund Like the people that
around me, like, yeah, we go out, we have fun sometimes,
but they know this is like my work and they
know where I would rather be. So I think that
it's like you're saying, just having good people around you,
because I think it's the people that will lead you,
(30:36):
steer you in other directions because of what they want
in life or because what they're trying to do with
their life. And yeah, they lead you down, you know,
to darkness. Now, people always leave me the lightness.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
How did you choose your circle?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I didn't choose them. God chose them for me. They're
literally my blood family, my god family. Like I don't
have many friends, honestly, I keep my circle very very small.
I mean my closest friend is literally my sister. So
you know, God God chose them for me. I didn't
have a choice.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, that's and which is which is? Which is? So
phenomenal because for some people it's a complete opposite. Is
it like their family is like they ruined it.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I got those moments too with them though, Like I've
had several moments with family members, so you know, me
and my mom, we haven't always had the most amazing relationship,
but like we've gotten I think with motherhood as well,
that's been another thing that I've learned. I'm like, Okay,
I see it in real time, I'm experiencing it, and
just I definitely, you know, I can. I was an
asshole to my mom, sorry mom for for a while
(31:37):
growing up. I think that I just didn't have much
respect for the specific reason. We've just been through some things,
but this year we've gotten way closer.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Mother happy. You think motherhood allowed you to see your
mom for who she really was?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Absolutely it did. Absolutely. I can definitely fuck with her
a little bit more because I'm like, Okay, I get it.
And it's even more clear to me that my mom,
like her kids are everything to her, like she has
absolutely put us way before herself.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Listen, I'm sitting there because I'm like this, there's so
many parallels because my mom's similar and my mom said
something recently, and I said, Mom, it must be dope
because she called me out the every episode. I'm sure
she won't watch this episode and she gonna be like,
oh my god, doctor. Because she doesn't call me by
my name. She calls me doctor j now it is.
(32:33):
And I'm like, Mama, you can call me j now.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Boy.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
You work hard for that. I got to call you.
She calls me the good doctor. I said, oh, good doctor,
how you doing? So as you would talk about your mom,
I thought about my mother because our parents didn't have
the freedom to expand the way we did.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Yes, so true.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And my mom said to me, I said, Mom, what
is it like? Because she called me She's like, man,
I'm just so proud of you, like you just said.
Every time I took on YouTube somebody you know, I'm
seeing you know, your clips and stuff. I said, Mom,
what is that like to watch your kids? And she
said something to me Parker, she was like And then
I asked her, I said, Mom, what did you want
(33:17):
to be? I said, what were some of your dreams?
And this broke me. She said, Jay, I didn't know
I could dream, so my kids became everything. Did you
see some of that in your mom?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yes, absolutely, I still do, like I still do.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah, how do you how do you like navigate that
with her knowing that, you know, there's probably some dreams
that she had that she never pursued.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And I still try and encourage her and still tell
her now like you can still you're not dead, my love,
Like you're still here. You know, we still have time
to figure these things out. And I'm still here and
I would love to invest or figure out how we
can do whatever to help you see one of your
dreams out. Because my mom's like an amazing cook, like
(34:14):
she's always wanted to have a restaurant or you know,
she's very good with interior design, like she's just she's
really that girl. She can do pretty much anything. So
I would love to help her get something off the ground.
But yeah, is.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
It hard for her to receive that.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
I think it's hard for her to believe that. I
think that, you know, once we all get to a
certain age, we feel like we are dead for whatever.
Even some people think they reach thirty and they're like, oh,
I'm old, I can't and whatever. But it's just like
you're never too old to chase your dreams. I'm at
that point in my life now where it's like, look
at me, I'm trying to fucking be a pop star
and I'm thirty years old and my daughter's at home,
(34:51):
so it's just like, you know, fuck it, Like why
not if I have the opportunity to, I'm just like
why not. So, but I think that it's hard for
other people to stay in that mind zone.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
And it's harder for them because they feel that they
have more time behind than they do ahead. And that
was a reality that I had to accept about both
my parents, Like my father is a pastor, and he
(35:25):
didn't say this to me, said it to my sister.
He says, man, everything Jay's doing, I always wanted to
do it. And he said I just lost my way
and he just started passing and he was just like,
you know, that just became all he knows. And I
sent him my we have a new movie coming out.
I sent him Betrayer or the teaser. And my sister
(35:48):
was just like, man, because he can't say things to
me directly. We would call that in therapy trying elation,
when you have to communicate to somebody through somebody who's
connected in that dynamic. And it was interesting because my
sister's like, man, dad was like he wanted to act,
and he wanted to do all these different things, and
(36:09):
I'm saying, like why didn't he? And I had so
much compassion because they grew up in household where no
one never gave them the confidence to do It was
like they were capped before they even got started. You
can only do this, you can only do that. And
(36:31):
as thinking about your mom, my mom, and my dad,
I'm just like, man, it breaks my heart because it's
like I look at them, you know, it's like, man,
they're so gifted and talented.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
And honestly, my thing is is like even if you
spend a year doing something that you haven't always wanted
to and you die and do were that same, I mean,
but you still did something about it and you still
saw you know. And one thing that like I hate
for my mom is like I don't like that she
doesn't feel fulfilled. You know. It's like the only thing
(37:04):
that you can say is like, Okay, you have two
great kids, you know, And it's just like I want
her to feel more like, oh, I really went out
there and I did I made something of myself more
than just like oh, you know, I've owned a beautiful
home and I've done blah blah blah, Like okay, cool.
I just think that as a person, you need to
feel purpose elsewhere. Yes, so outside of your kid, outside
(37:27):
of you know. So that's why it's like, I know,
I'm a great mom. I love being a mom, but like,
what's up with Parker outside in that? Like we got
to get work on that girl, you know, And I
want that from my mom too.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah. So you know, I love that you are exuding
that because so many women lose themself in the title
as mom, as men lose themselves in the title's dad.
And I love how you even said, Hey, at thirty,
I'm trying to be a pop star, you know, Like
I mean, I'm like I was talking to guy who's like,
(38:00):
you're forty three, and you started acting again because I
took off like ten years because I was in school
for like seven of those ten years. I said, yeah,
why not? And for the same reason that you said,
I'm not dead And it's just you know, I'm just
my mind is racing from the amount of people that
have put the nail in the coffin then they're not
even dead.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah, you living up on themselves in a way.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yo oo, man, gosh this for those that are watching,
I'm gonna take this quick break and say to you,
if it didn't happen at twenty, it can happen at thirty.
If it didn't happen at thirty, it can happen at forty.
If you didn't finish at forty, you could start it
at fifty, or you could pick it back up at
(38:48):
sixty or seventy. What I'm saying is, as Parker has said,
you're not dead, stop dying? While are you living?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Clockey?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
She says Clockett? I said, when when we do the
clocktt moment, I'm gonna hit the clockett. I'm not gonna
do the clicking fingers. I'm not gonna do that. Y'all
not gonna make a meme out of me, like doctor
j was on there clicking his finger. No, So it
is moment, go after it, like seriously, go after it.
(39:26):
I remember having this conversation with an older guy and
I asked him. He said, I know my time is
almost up, and I said, what would you have done differently?
He said, I would have gone after everything that I
was afraid to do. And now that I'm getting ready
(39:46):
to die. I can't do anything. Don't live your life
like that, you know, don't live your life like that,
because you don't want to be sitting at the feet
of death wondering what could you have been had you
(40:07):
threw yourself in it? And so what if you fail?
You don't get successful without failure. You need to fail
and then to fail well in it. So go after.
I just had to give y'all that moment. So party
you you have, you have grown from so much. You
(40:27):
went through something very public, you know, and when when
when you go through things, I often say, it's not
fair to deal with a public to to have to
deal with the matter that it's private and navigate it publicly.
(40:54):
That's so challenging. How did you keep your mind knowing
what you had gone through in a relationship and knowing
that it's posted here, is posted there? What kept him saying?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
My family again, honestly, my family, My mom. My mom
made sure like one of the first things that we
did was like get the fuck out of LA and
like she just took me away. I was with my
brother and we just had like a little trip, like
a little staycation. We were we were still in California,
(41:30):
but we weren't in LA and just yeah, just stayed
off of social media as much as possible, of course,
and just stay I tried not to let what was
going on online and outside world they were thinking, because
I knew what really happened, you know, And yeah, I
(41:54):
just stayed sane. And I honestly what really helped was
just jumping right back into work, because I think it
was only like a few months later I had booked
games people play and I was just back to working.
So I had one of the biggest best distractions. And
it wasn't good though, because you know, since this is
(42:17):
all about healing, I don't really feel like I took
enough time to heal properly because that led me to
like running into the arms of my childhood sweetheart and
running off and getting married and just you know, leading
into more just a cycle that shouldn't I'm not gonna
(42:37):
say it shouldn't have happened, because I don't have any
regrets about the situation, but I just wish that, you know,
I would have healed, not taken him through so many
things that I'm sure I did. At the time, I
had just no business like dating, you know, But when
you're young. I don't even think you think about those things.
It's just like you're like, oh, for good, I'm just
onto the next or I just you know, now I
(42:59):
truly great, Like okay, no, I need time away from
dating and from people, and I need to gather my
thoughts and I need to feel okay and ready to
do those things, let alone be fucking married like at
twenty two. Like so, yeah, that's that's kind of what
I did. And it felt good in the moment, of course,
(43:20):
like I mean love, I still love that man dearly.
So it felt good in the moment, and it felt right,
and you know, he made me feel loved and safe,
and that's what I needed at that time because it
was obviously just such a terrible situation to be.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
And particularly when you're coming out of something that is dysfunctional,
the brain looks for safety. Yeah, and sometimes safety can
be disguised, you know, as you know, it could be this,
and it could be him or it could be her.
And so what you're sharing is what most of us
(43:57):
covid as human beings, because in the black community, no
one knows what healing really is.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Right, we don't talk, well, we don't. We do now
because the social media is like we're forced to see
it every damn day. They're shutting it down the roads,
but like they're like hell, hell, hell, you fucking suck
you just it's like.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Oh my god, and that ain't healing. I'm like, this
is traumatizing. You know, so much pressure, right, And and
I often tell people listen, first of all, sis, brother,
whoever you are watching, you can't heal through social media posts.
Oh I read this post and this woman like, listen.
Real healing is going to require you to put your
(44:37):
phone down and sit with yourself. It's going to require
you and I'm going here, it's going to require you
to close them legs. Good brother, good system. It's going
to require you to sit with yourself and say what
am I doing. Real healing requires you to say it
(45:00):
ain't them, it's me. And when we hear that, people
often think we're like, well, I'm not a problem. They say,
you wor a problem. But sometimes there's parts of us
that causes problems internally that has now impacted others around us,
particularly for people who are unaware that they're causing harm.
(45:23):
Me and Michelle Willis was doing this podcast and I said,
I'm gonna give you an example of how we stay
in places too long that are causing us pain. I said,
this is the person who is causing the pain. This
is a pain, this is the hand is us. What
is happening is as we're receiving this pain, we're hoping
(45:45):
the person who's causing pain recognize that they're hurting us.
So rather than us moving our hand, we stay in
hope that they can say I'm not doing right by her,
I'm not doing right by him. But until you you
are conscious enough to say I deserve better, and sometimes
better will require you to leave what you know. That's
(46:10):
a card moment for me. Sometimes better is going to
require you to leave what you know because healing. What
makes healing so scary, park it is that no one
knows what's on the other side of it. So most
people would rather stay the same than to pursue the
unknown of what's on the other side. This is why
(46:32):
people will stay in relationships that are not good because
it's like, well, this is the devil, I know, but
you're like, well, this ain't you know? Well I know, bro,
I know she gonna do this. Keisha gonna do this, man,
Keisha being like this or terry no, no la la
man healing for real healing. It's gonna require you to
leave it because because you know it right, because it's familiar,
(46:56):
and if you're not careful, we often will find our
sales being drawn back to familiarity.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
That same shit. Yeah, oh man, Michael, so heal.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah. So what has healing been like for you?
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Oh, it's been everything. It's been draining some days, of course,
because I mean I also have been in and out
of therapy, like over these past few years. I finally
found a therapist that I love so much.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
I love her so much. It's crazy, like love. She
feels like she's my homegirl, but I know she's not,
so you know, but yeah, just it's it's been exhausting
some days. It's felt like it is very lonely sometimes
too and very it's hard, like the mirror challenge that
(47:50):
you did with the ladies, it's hard to hold a
mirror up to yourself and be like, bitch, you are
the problem, like you said, you know where, like you're
also adding to the problem or eure repeating some cycles
from that you've learned elsewhere, whether it be something that
I grew up seeing, or something that I experienced from
my last relationship, you know, like it was it was. Yeah,
(48:11):
it's been. It's been a journey. It's still a journey
till this day.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
What it is.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Yeah, but it's fun sometimes pouring in, the pouring into
myself when it's like when I walk away from a
therapy session and I'm like, oh my god, that was
like so eye opening and you just feel refreshed, or
like when I'm going to hot yoga doing those things
where I'm like literally pouring into myself and finding the
routine that works for me to refill my cup and
boost myself back up. Like those are the good parts.
(48:36):
But yeah, sometimes it's.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Draining, mayor I love that. Yeah, it is very draining.
I was like, therapy, it should be worked in stages,
and this is just me. You know, some therapists may
not agree. But even when I was working with clients,
I never like some clients like to come every week,
but if someone was working through something very traumatic, I
(49:01):
would tell them bi weekly or every two weeks because
I wanted to give them time to process what we unpacked.
Because when you were coming out of therapy, it's almost
like somebody just pulled a scalp off a wound and
it's like, man, this thing is hurting all over again.
And then the draining part is it's the reflecting, It's
(49:22):
the introspection. It's also the awareness that happens in therapy, like, oh,
that's what that was. It wasn't me, It happened through me,
but it was really something that's happened in my childhood
that is causing me to behave in its way right now.
So I definitely understand how that can be exhausting.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Or even like feeling like I just have my emotion,
like I feel smarter in ways than others that I've
tried to deal with recently. Okay, yeah, I'm like, okay,
I can't because you're just not there yet and I'm
not gonna go crazy trying to. I just can't. So
(50:08):
learning to remove myself from those situations as well, that's.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
What therapist do. It a sharpen your tools for how
to choose better for you. Without a disclaimer, you know,
it's like that don't work for me. I love you,
but it don't work for me. Was that hard for
you at first?
Speaker 2 (50:31):
It was hard for me at first because I feel
like I'm definitely at people pleaser. I noticed that of myself,
and I'm also hard on myself sometimes as well. So yeah,
it's been hard, but it's been hard obviously losing people.
I've even lost some people that I thought like, oh wow,
they'll be there forever, but I'm like, oh no, I
(50:52):
just can't deal with this anymore. And like, if you're
not willing to look at yourself in the mirror, have
that conversation with yourself, I'm not going to be the
one for us to have the conversation. Like I have
a kid. It's like where I'm at with it, Like
I'm not here to like raise anybody but Arleie Ray
Wilson like that is it and my dog Jenderbugs. But
like other than that, like I just I'm good, like
(51:15):
because I have too much going on to play.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
So you know what what I like about even just this,
this opportunity to share space with you is and no
one knows Parker's story better than Parker. But what I
do like is I can tell that you're embracing this
this new you. You know. You know, when people are
(51:42):
navigating changes, and when navigating growth, there's usually a resistance
because it's like, man, I don't want to give this up,
but I feel like you're like, no, it's worth giving up.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
I'm ready for better. I'm ready to like get to
the good. Yeah, because it hasn't been great like these
past few years.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
So and I'm a man of faith. Yeah, And my
prayer for you is that you experience better from your
on out in every area of your life, not just
in your career, but in your personal life. Yes, in
your spirit and your mind and your body. And when
(52:25):
you lay down at night, you're actually resting and not
I mean you can actually rest and not just sleep,
because I know what it's like when you are navigating
just the God. I know iticed like when you just
like you feel like you can't get out of this
thing and it's just like it's like a vortex. It
won't let you out, and you don't sleep well, Like
(52:48):
you go to sleep, but you wake up tired because
your body is up, your mind is up, and then
your nervous system is still in a fight or flight mode.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Yes, absolutely, I think once I get out of like this,
for when when I move back home and I'm back right,
I need to be and I you know, finalize things
like in my personal life. I think that will definitely help.
You're so right, because I would love to get some
good rest.
Speaker 1 (53:13):
Yeah, that's my prayer for you. I pray that God
allows you to rest, and it's rest that's going to
restore you where you can wake up with a clear
thought pattern and wake up with a new outlook on life,
because not only do you deserving of it, you're working
(53:33):
toward it, you know. And it's not you know, it's
not easy to choose better. It's not because when you
have to choose better, you have to choose outside of
the way that you've been operating. So it's like if
(53:54):
I've always done the same thing and someone says, what
changes up like for what it's been doing it like this, man,
It's like, no, you need to change this up. It's
hard to change it up. So I want to say,
you know, I'm proud of you for choosing to say,
you know what, I'm going to take this journey because
I do want better. And what I love about this
(54:15):
is there, as you're choosing better, your daughter gets to
experience better. Right, she gets to experience that from you.
And here's how healing works, because it's twofold. As she
gets to experience better with you as a mom, you
get to experience better from you as a little girl
(54:38):
that's still healing. So it's working twofold, right, you know?
So I love that, you know, for you, for a
young lady that is sitting watching that has come out
of what you come out of. What would you say
(55:01):
to them?
Speaker 2 (55:04):
Are we talking about like just violence?
Speaker 1 (55:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (55:10):
Oh the PG version. I'll keep it cute, because what
I really want to say is fuck these niggas, like
for real, because there was a time where I felt
like sorry for him, Like how could you feel sorry
for someone who's doing this to you?
Speaker 3 (55:26):
You know?
Speaker 2 (55:28):
But yeah, don't feel sorry for these niggas. You're not
here to raise them or teach them how to love
or how to be loved. Just pour into yourself all
that love you were giving the wrong person. Pour that
into yourself one hundred and ten times, and see how
amazing your life will be in a year. And see
where you stand in a year, because wasted love is
(55:50):
a wasted life.
Speaker 3 (55:52):
Oh hard tear moment you just at the bar, You
just dropped a bar?
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Do you realize that.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
That's how I really feel? Though I wasted a lot
of time those eight months of my life. Yeah, but
it was tragic. It was a lot. And then now
it's like I'm still you know, I'm still recovering. I
really really am. M.
Speaker 1 (56:25):
Can I pray for you?
Speaker 2 (56:27):
I would love that and I need it in my life.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
So I'm going to pray. And this is the first
time I ever doing it, done this in the midst
of an episode. But I want to pray for you
because I want you to experience the healing that you
deserve and the freedom that you're looking for, and for
(56:51):
the women that are watching all. And I say this
because I had to go pick up a little girl
that was in my program in a hotel room. She
called me. I'm sleep It's two thirty in the morning,
and she says, mister j will you come and get me.
They're going to rape me. And I said what She
(57:19):
ran away from my mom's house sixteen years old and
she's in this hotel and this is in Houston, in
one of the worst errors in Houston. And I called
my close friend. I said, man, we have to go
get her. And when we picked her up and they
let out the room, it was like a bunch of dudes.
It was just like they didn't want to let her out.
And they let her out. I was like, let's pull up.
(57:42):
And I was say, hey, man, can y'all let her out?
And I wasn't coming with no scrap or nothing like that.
I said, man, can y'all just let her out? Man?
And they let her out and we got in the
car and she was just crying. And I said, I
didn't jump down on her or anything like that, and
I said, what were you looking for? She's like, mister Jay,
I just wanted to get out the house. And at
(58:04):
the time, there was this app to call the kick
app or something like that where the kids would share
a location and it would be like this party or whatever.
And I drove her home and she was crying and
she said, mister Jay, thank you. And I'm sharing that
(58:24):
because sometimes when you know, and I want to be
very sensitive to this, sometimes when women and I've seen
this on so many different you know, levels, experience domestic violence,
sexual violence, people don't realize the trauma that this calls
(58:47):
in somebody's brain, like real talk. And I'm gonna say
something to you, ladies. I've never seen a man that
loved himself put his hands on a woman. I want
you all to catch that. I've never seen a man
that love himself that can physically harm a woman because
(59:11):
there's a lot of women that live in silence. I'm
so thankful for part of to share it because she
didn't have to share, even just a little that she shared.
But there's a lot of women that live in the
silence of their pain and many times when they try
to leave, and this is studies shows us that it
(59:34):
doesn't end well. And this is why I'm wanting men
to start healing, because brothers, you cannot carry and project
your pain onto these women that you're saying that you
love and these kids, because it's just it's sickening. And
I had to take this moment because this is the
(59:58):
opportunity that I have with this platform, because I've seen
it firsthand and my own family, and nobody said nothing,
and it's normalized like oh, that's just like no, no, no, no, no.
You deserve so much more. And I don't know who
you are. You deserve so much more. You can start over.
(01:00:22):
Starting over doesn't mean you're starting from stratch. And most
people don't leave because they feel like I got to
start from stratch. I gotta go do this, I gotta
go do that, and so I just want to say
you can start over. So I'm want to grab your
hand if you don't mind, and I'm want to pray.
And my prayer for you is that you are amazing
(01:00:44):
and amazing woman. I'm not talking about your talent, just
for who you are. If you didn't do another movie,
if you didn't to do another show, if you didn't
do another song, you are an amazing woman because you
chose better for you, because because you could have stayed
for the sake of and I'm so happy that you
(01:01:06):
chose you, because God has so much in store for you. Father,
I thank you for your daughter, Parker. I thank you
God for just her, using her courage, using her life,
using her voice, just even just a little that she shared.
But Father, I prayed for the peace of God that
surpasses all understanding, to rest upon her, to rest on
(01:01:29):
her daughter, to rest on her family. Father, we can't
change what has happened, We can't change what is called.
But Father, I thank you that the change that has
happened in her is allowing her to see her value
beyond any relationship, beyond any gig, beyond any movie, beyond
this entertainment industry, Father, beyond anything that she's ever received.
(01:01:53):
And I pray that after tonight, Father, that she's able
to rest, that she's able to embrace the life that
you are creating for her, that she's able to find
more pockets of joy, more pockets of peace, and she's
able to drift into her own solitude of stillness and
to rest. And when she enters and back into the
(01:02:14):
world of chaos, and which she does so beautifully with
the gift that you blessed her with. Father, that she
has the capacity to manage your will, but she also
has the tools to disconnect. So God, I thank you
for her transformation. I thank you for healing. I also
thank you for the voice that you've giving her to
(01:02:34):
shed light on unhealthy patterns, unhealthy relationships and encouraging women
to love themselves. Father, I thank you for her. Thank
you for a team, her family and those that have
supported her. Bless all that she does and bless all
that she will continue to do. Father, and we thank
you in Jesus' name.
Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Amen, Amen, man, thank you, yes.
Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Yes, listen, wasn't playing y'all know how I get down
I have to listen to the spirit of God because
as much as y'all know me to be who I am,
I cannot not be who God has made me to be.
I have a sensitive spirit, and I have a heart
for people, and I want to say, Parker, thank you,
(01:03:19):
thank you, thank you for sharing your story, thank you
for sharing your light. Man, you have such a beautiful personality.
Please for the sake of me. But doctor J, don't
lose that. Don't lose your smile, man, because your smile
is healing for somebody. So I pray many blessings on
all your endeavors and that you continue to excel and
(01:03:42):
blow up these pop charts. You know, man, we need
we need some new music.
Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Out here, Yes to some fun, good music.
Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Yes, yes, So listen, guys, go follow Parker, follow her journey,
follow her music, and you know, show us some love.
And we're so grateful to have her in the healing community.
And listen. Healing. It's a journey and wholeness is the destination.
(01:04:13):
Until next time, keep doing the work. Just here with
Doctor J, a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple
Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and
you can follow me at King J Barnett on Instagram
and x and follow us on YouTube Just Heal Doctor J.
Welcome to Just Heal with Doctor J, a production of
the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
another episode of Just Heal with Doctor J. And I
am your host, Doctor J. Barnett. Listen some of y'all
been eavesdropping all my episodes. I want to tell you
to go ahead and subscribe to Just Heal Doctor J
(00:20):
on the YouTube channel, Join the healing community. You can
listen audibly on Spotify, the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart
Podcast and anywhere you listen to podcasts. We are doing
some amazing things over here in the healing community. In
the next couple of months, I'm going to be doing
a live talking about different ways to continue your healing
(00:42):
journey without having to pay all that money to a therapist.
And I know that's strange because I'm a therapist, but
I do think that community is important if you're going
to navigate your journey of healing. So I'm excited because
I love to bring people from all walks of life
to the healing community so you guys can hear in
(01:03):
real time stories, experiences, and to hear the journey that
many are taking to their wholeness, to discovering themselves and
also how they are healing and what does that look
like for them. I'm honored today to have the amazing
actress Parker Makenna Posey here joining us in the Healing community.
(01:28):
I grew up you know what, I didn't grow up
because I'm older than her, but we watched her work,
did a phenomenal job. She's amazing on my wife and kids,
which was one of my favorite shows at the time,
and just to see the woman that she has evolved into,
it's so beautiful and I'm so grateful to have her
(01:48):
here today joining the healing community. Park How you doing,
I am doing so good.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Thanks for having me listen.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I love your energy. Man, He's so bubbly, and you know,
we've been doing this all day and you come in
with all the energy.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I'm trying. I'm trying. It's been a weird day, but
I'm like, let me get let me give you all
some goodness, let me be think.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I love it. You're not trying. You're doing because if
you were trying, you would have showed up that part.
So thank you for showing up today. And we're so
grateful to have this conversation with you. So in every
discussion I always like to ask the guests, how are
they feeling?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Oh, goodness, I am tired today. Is it a today
question or is it just like in general in this moment.
In this moment, I'm happy to be here. I'm feeling
blessed to have, like, I think, a good conversation. I
think we'll get somewhere today. I think based off of
what I've seen or what I know from this show,
I think I'm gonna walk away feeling very healed and
(02:48):
feeling like, yes, I'm going to continue my healing journey
and I'm going to get some keys from you. I think, yes,
And I'm lovey to just discuss like my real life
because you know, I don't do interviews that often.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
So yes, exactly. And I love it because when Bianca
told us that you were open to coming on the show,
I was so excited because a lot of times I've
been in entertainment. I was a pro athlete at one time,
and I acted. I've started out in theater and sometimes
(03:20):
from the outside we're not seen beyond the characters that
we played. Yes, And when Beyonca was sharing like, hey,
Parker is really excited to come, I said, no, man,
it's so dope, because I know what it's like to
be a performer and no one knows who you are
as an individual. And I'm glad that my audience and
(03:40):
those who were watched this get to see the woman
that you are becoming. When you think about I know
we s talking earlier. You just made thirty. Yes, man, congratulations.
You know I was telling you, like, thirty is the
number that I'll never forget because at thirty, I feel
like the light came the light bulb came on. It
was like, wow, Okay, this is really happening when you
(04:05):
turn thirty, Like there's something click, there's something shift for you,
you know.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
What I think, because like, you know, we were talking
about it, So when you said that to me, I'm like, dang,
I kind of already feel like I've been thirty, like
and I know that probably sounds weird, but I think
maybe just motherhood was probably like when I opened my
eyes and I was like, okay, like I'm really not
a kid anymore, and I have to just be a
grown woman, you know, like you have to take care
(04:30):
of a whole nother person and just show her I
have a daughter, so I have to show her how
to you know, be a woman. So I felt like, Okay,
it's time for me to like step it up in
some areas because I was still I still have my
childish ways like I do, like I'm a big kid
at heart. I feel like I love to have a
lot of fun. Like you say, I'm bubbly, Like I
just have that energy. But I'm also a very serious
(04:51):
woman as well, and like I'm about my business and
I feel like just being a woman in general and
having a daughter, I felt like, Okay, I need to
really stand on business now.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And yeah, different ways, but I like that you share
that you're a big kid at are your woman to
stand on business and you're about your business. That's the
duality of life. Yes, I think when we miss not
holding on to our childhood and and and holding on
(05:20):
to the inner child within us, we rob ourselves of
what adulthood can really reveal, because I think there's a
part of us where the child has to be seen,
you know, Like there's times where I am literally like
you know what, I'm gonna watch some cartoons today. Yes,
and my favorite cartoon was Scooby Doode growing up. I
love Scooby doo way. Oh my gosh. Another school.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Oh my gosh, Like I have the T shirts and everything,
like I love.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You're not gonna beleeve it. So I have to share
this story. So when I was in high school, after
football season, I would do powerlifting and laughing. I dated
a girl who gifted me a Scooby Dooe doll stuff animal.
He was about this tall, and she would bring into
my powerlifting meats and sit the dog in the stands
(06:11):
and I would always like wave with the dog. People
was like, this kid is weird, but it was made
you happy. It did Like I'm sitting there squatting five
hundred pounds and they were like And then after I
was finished my lift, I would go pick up at dogs.
They'd be like this kids strong as hell, but he's
holding on to the stuff animal dog? Like what is
wrong with him? You know? But no, that is so dope?
What so? What what did you like about the cartoon?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
I've always just been a mystery kind of gy I am.
I am a thriller girl. I'm a horror girl. So
I wouldn't want to know things friends were would love
to be a detective in this life.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I just played a detective. Was that what?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
My god, I'm nosy.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That was what I tell everyone that I'm like, I'm
a really nosy person. Like I just I just like
to know.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
And for no reason, I wanted to know, what does
this nigga do? Like I wanted to know.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You said it, I'm glad you took.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah. I'm like, only should.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Cuts here, okay yourself?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
This is a human community. Yeah, so I love mystery.
I love horror. My favorite horror all time. Michael Myers.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh yes, I love it, Like I have.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
To watch it every Halloween and I have to watch
it during the day.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
During the day.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, they're scared. I don't get scared, but there's a
part of me that don't want to see this shadow
because he's a thing. Your mind can really do some funky.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Things, especially when it's dark. For some reason, it's like
it gets even creepier.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right and knowing that I'm a full grown man and
knowing that nothing is going to get me, but you
feel like, man, it's I live by myself, so it's
like I don't have kids. I used to have a dog,
gave it to my best friend. So my house is
like whyt and I have to turn all the lights
on because I was like, if this negro is by
(08:00):
behind this door, I'm gonna shoot them. So I can't
watch that stuff in dark. Did you watch hor I do?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, I'm a real I'm a rello g and we
just do stuff like that. Oh yeah, one day, one day,
maybe I'll reach my level, but for now, just keep
the lights on.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Stay.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
What are the secrets?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I don't know. I think it's probably the extracurricular activities
that I do before I sit down and watch a movie.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
So you already face Yeah, I'm already.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
In just a chill, chill mindset, just relaxing. You know,
my daughter's sleep, I got my snacks and it's just
it's mom time, you know, and I put on I
used to watch one thing that this probably makes no
sense to anybody, but Disappear. And I don't know if
you know that show because I like like true crime,
I like like forty eight hours. Yeah, so that show
scares me. That is a show that I can't watch
(08:49):
with the lights offer. So I don't know why, and
it sounds strange because I don't know why. I think
I'm gonna get disappeared, but I don't. I don't know, but.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
You know that's real. I don't know if I'm not
a woman, but I imagine that because sometimes what is
happening that there's parts of the brain that are not
necessarily triggered, but the sensor goes off where it's like
I ain't going that far. Yeah, because subconsciously there's a
thought like I don't want to be adupted exactly. Like
(09:18):
I grew up where we would go to the grocery
stores and I remember this one particular time we walked
in the grocery store and it was all these kids
that were missing, and I told my mom, I said,
you terrified us because she was like, this is what happened.
If you go in the store and you walk away
from me, you gonna end up on one of these posters.
(09:39):
And I know when I watched those stories with people men,
I was just like, oh my god, because it's like
a most terrifying thing that a kid or a person
goes missing and vanished with no trees, right.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Never hear from them again, never see them ever again.
So yeah, that scares me way more than like Michael
Myers or like my favorite movie is The Strangers. Have
you seen that I.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Just saw the new one, not the new one, the
old one. Oh, the old one. Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
I did like.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Strangers my favorite scary movie. I like real life scary movies.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Because the one where they were dead at the entire time,
they were no, you know what I'm thinking about the others.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
The others. Oh, that was scary too. With Nicole Kidman Fire.
Oh he knows his movies.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yes, don't don't let the doctor fool you. I know myself.
Yeah that that that that was a really crazy one because, uh,
I part of wanting the reason I wanted to become
a therapist is I wanted to really understand the minds
of people. And when I'm watching movies, I'm usually looking
(10:48):
for these different pockets to where I can discover like, oh,
what was that character thinking of how were they processing
and all those different things. So yeah, I love movies
that are horror films that kind of make you think,
you know, you just kind of like what's really going on?
And then all of a sudden, it's like all these
people were dead the entire time, right, was crazy?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Yet now we got that out the wake ice Freak.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yes, So your daughter, how has she impacted your life?
And what have you noticed that has changed about yourself
since happening your daughter?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I goodness, where to begin. What has changed is just
like I was saying before, just wanting to be more
confident as a woman, be more confident in my power
as a woman, as a person, and just there was
just so many things, Like when I was pregnant, I
just had a lot of time to think because I
(11:47):
was pregnant during COVID, So I feel like I had
a lot of time to think and just sit and
think about all the things that I've been through, all
the things that I've put other people through, and just
wanting just better for her. So it's just made me
want to be the best version of myself in many
many different ways, like outside of just being a good mom,
just like showing up as being the best version of
(12:08):
Parker period. Even there's been times on sticking up for
myself more like that was a thing that I was like, Okay,
how am I going to raise a little person and
tell them to do these things that like I'm not
even fully doing yet. So there was a lot of
things that I've had to think about on that end
where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna have to teach
her how to do these things, and sometimes I'm not
(12:28):
even the best at it. So I wanted to like
master those things and just stand up for myself a
little bit more because there's been some weird things I'm
sure you could understand, like on set or just as
a woman in general, it's hard for us out here sometimes.
So it's like I wanted to be able to teach
her how to just be strong and independent and take
care of yourself whether I'm there or not. So that
definitely was big for me. And yeah, I just wanted
(12:51):
just wanting to show up as the best version of
myself and make sure that I'm okay. I'm way more
cautious now as well, like way more scary, Like I
like to live life on the edge. I like to
have a lot of fun sometimes, but take me home
because I want to be with my kid at the
end of the night. So that's me, Like I'm always
saying stuff like that, like we can be out having
the best time ever, or you know, I could be
(13:13):
on the trip of a lifetime and I'm like no,
but I just want to be with my daughter. So
that's that's what it's changed.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
So what I'm hearing you say, is that your daughter
gave you an opportunity to find your voice? Yes?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Absolutely, way more.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, what was it like growing up if you can
put yourself in your daughter's shoes, but in your shoes
not having a voice.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Mmm, I think that, Look, you're already about to get
some tears out of me. Growing up and feeling like
I didn't have a voice just felt like a scary, scary,
scary time I felt like. And it's not that I
didn't feel like I didn't have a voice growing up,
because I've always been like bry myself, like how I
(14:01):
told you guys before I came in here, Like I
can be a lot sometimes, you know, but just I
feel like in the household, like my mom is white,
but it gave like black households sometimes, or like we
didn't always talk about our feelings. So I think that
that's where it like it showed up more in that
space where it was like, you know, I always had
a voice, but I didn't have a voice when it
(14:22):
came to certain things. So I think that's where it
like really fucked me up. And like now I definitely
like I wouldn't say I'm the best communicator, like in relationships.
So I think that that's where it definitely messed me up.
And just even now having you know, this relationship with
my daughter and making sure that I wanted to obviously
(14:43):
be the best thing. I want to over communicate with
her sometimes, you know, but it's hard with others sometimes.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
And I want to say it is, don't allow yourself
to feel like you have to do it perfect. Right.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
I'm very hard on myself, thank you, Very very hard
on myself. So yeah, it's like, I don't know where
this version of like I have to be a perfectionist
came from, because I'm not perfect at anything that I do.
You know, I don't think anybody is. Practice makes perfect,
though practice makes almost perfect, I don't think anything can
(15:22):
be perfect. It's such a way too much pressure.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
So yeah, And the reason I said that is because
when when there are things about our childhood that we
didn't get and now we're challenged to give it to
our kids, there is this overwhelming sense of man, I
(15:45):
gotta correct this, because if I don't correct this, they
want to have the same experience and what I often
share with When I started out working in the field
of mental health, I started with young girls and I
started with girls in group homes and most of these
girls were victim of sex trafficking. These girls have been molested, abuse,
(16:10):
all of their experiences with men and with their family
had been very traumatized. And I was like, God, why
do you have me. I'm a former football player, but
I'm the older brother too sisters, so I'm the only boy.
And God said, I want you to change not just
how they see men, but how they see themselves by
(16:33):
a different encounter with you as a male. So here
I am working with girls who he don't have a father.
B if they did have a father. The girls that
I was working with, many of them had been touched
by their father. Then those who have been touched by it.
(16:54):
I mean, it was just so much. And I'm just like, dude,
like I don't even know how I create this program.
My create it was an emotional recovery, my emotional recovery
program for teen girls. And one day we did a
exercise that I called Mirror Mirror. I will never forget this.
The exercise is the girl will stand up in a
(17:16):
circle where it's closed. She will hold a mirror to
her face, hold it up and I would ask a
question The hard part was that she had to answer
the question looking at herself. I'm saying that because sometimes
kids make us face are inner child, and most parents
(17:40):
are afraid to look at it because it's like why
would I give her or give him what I didn't have?
So I'm sharing this because I think it's important to
applaud you that you are doing that and your best
way that you possibly can, and that way you don't
feel this pressure like it has to be like this, right,
(18:04):
you know what I mean, because you're creating your own
way to communicate with her, which will help you as
you're navigating because a lot of times when we don't
communicate in relationship, it's not that we can when the
relationship in our households were challenging to communicate, that's it.
(18:24):
It's not that we can't talk. It's like I said
something like this at home and it wasn't received well,
or I tried to and nobody listened. Yeah, you know
that was my experience. I didn't have a voice as
a kid because I was a only son that had
to take care of my mom, take care of my
(18:44):
sister's soul. When I was in a relationship, A woman
asked me, like, what's long. I was like, oh, I
don't know, because no one never asked me when my
father divorced my mom and left, nobody never asked me
how I was doing. I didn't hear that until I
was thirty one, being that they ever said how are
you feeling? I was like, I said, no, one was
(19:05):
never asking me that. So what you're doing as a
mother is so powerful to give that to your daughter.
So I just had to get that out.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Thank you. Yes, this is the one thing that I
do do good be a mom, But.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I got to challenge you on that you do well
being you.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yes, I think that, like I'm still on the journey
to like, like you know how it clicked for you
at thirty, Like, I don't know what, I don't know.
I'm still trying. It's like me as a mother, I'm great,
but me as like Parker, it's like I'm still figuring
out who Parker is and me personally. I feel like
that's a lifelong journey. It is because I know that,
like we evolved so much and I'm not the same
(19:47):
person I was before I had her. I'm not the
same person that I was in twenty eighteen. You know,
what I'm saying. It's just like I've changed a lot,
and I'm still figuring out who Parker is. Like what
I like, what I don't like is changing all the time,
even like when it comes to relationships, when it comes
to just what I like personally. So I'm still figuring
(20:08):
out who she is. But I love her and I
fuck with who I am today right now, and that's enough.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
And as long as you can rest and that you'll
always embrace who you're becoming. When I said the lightbulb
came on in thirty, it doesn't mean that the light
stayed on. It came on at thirty, but that joger
turned off at thirty one because I had a second
suicide attempt at thirty one. So when you talk about
(20:40):
it's a constant journey, Like when I look at myself
at forty three, I'm sitting here, but there's about ten
people sitting here, Like literally, there's a little there's a
little boy that has memories of his childhood that I
don't think will ever go away. Now they don't have
the same impact. There's a man here that misses football. Sometimes,
(21:04):
there's a man who wish that his father would really
turn the corner. So when you say it's a journey,
it's true for no matter where you are in life,
no matter what age. But the humility in knowing that
life is this classroom that we should never graduate from
is what is going to keep you growing and that's
(21:25):
all that matters. Do you feel in the entertainment space
that you obviously have grown up in and which is
the majority of your work life, meaning that it's where
you make a living in some way? Does that kind
(21:48):
of interfere with you trying to grow? As you know
what I'm saying because of the environment.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Sometimes absolutely, I mean absolutely, Like I say all the time,
I'm like I want to I hate saying this on
camera because everyone's gonna fucking hear it. But it's just
like I want to be somewhere on a farm, Like
I don't want to be like you know what I'm saying,
Like CJ.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Why do we this is my new best friend. Man,
we talk about this all the time. I'm gonna go
somewhere quiet.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, that's what I'm on. So it's just like, this
is just my life. And I always like, so I
have my my family situation dynamic is interesting because I
always say have two dads, like I have a biological father,
but I have another man who stepped up and helped
raise me at a certain point in my life. And
I always he helped me book my wife and kids.
(22:38):
He was my manager since I was a little girl,
and you know, he's been on and off my team
all throughout my career. But I always look at him
and I'm like, you did this to me, because I'm like, really,
you know, it just it can be a hassle sometimes
it really can. And it's not that I don't love
what I do, because obviously when I'm in front of
the camera even you know, I'm on my new music
journey and stuff. Whenever i'm creating period, I'm having the
(23:01):
most amazing time. And I love what I do, and
I'm so blessed. And I'm also blessed to even still
be here twenty years later, you know. But there's a
part of me that really enjoys peace and quiet, like
you said, and I really enjoy just being away from
the bullshit. And unfortunately, like entertainment business is a lot
of bullshit, and I just it doesn't soothe my soul.
(23:25):
So I don't feel like I can ever be at
peace until I'm like done with it.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
So, oh, man, I got alls.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I didn't come here grow therapy.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh no, no, no, no, I'm listen, listen, No it's not there.
I'm thinking what you're saying is what I think often. Yeah,
when because we have in this moment when when I
think about like life and its totality, I often thinking
about when would I ever get to the piece? And
I'm sharing this from somebody who struggled as I've been open.
(24:05):
I've struggled with suicide ideation obviously with two attempts, and
when you have survived that, there is a propensity to
constantly rehearse you know what life could be if you
(24:26):
wasn't here. And I'm just being real in this moment
and thoughts of like, man, the peace ain't coming, you
know what I mean, and trying to understand how do
I create it? How do I find it? But something
that I had to realize over the years is that
I had to becoming internally so and saying that I'm
(24:51):
sitting and thinking about you and your journey. What would
peace look like for you?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yes, yeah, that's a good question. I think that it's
just been so chaotic, like the past I mean, I
would say like since just like since I don't even know,
if you know, like about the relationship that I had
that was very like abusive, toxic, it was very short,
short amount of time. But I will say, like ever
(25:21):
since then, I'm sure life has just been like very
it's just been different. And and then you know, we
have mother then we have marriage, then we have motherhood,
then we have the rest of life, COVID all, you know, everything.
So it's just like a lot has happened. So I
really don't even know. I mean peace to me, like
(25:42):
because I find little moments of peace, like I'm I
do because I have to. But that's when I'm away,
Like I fully packed up and moved to Arizona to
find peace, to get out of La to get away
from my marriage and just everyone here that was like
driving me crazy. Is me feeling constantly pulled in so
many different directions. So it's like I do find little
(26:06):
moments of peace. I do, and that you know, revolves
around me not being in La, me being somewhere up
in the mountains with my daughter. Off of social media.
That's another thing, like social media, I'm sorry, like we
need it to survive of course, and I'm on my
phone all the goddamn time. I can't even lie like
it's a problem. But I just don't find joy and
(26:28):
stuff like that. Like I find joy and peace elsewhere
away from you.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Find it in the stillness. I do. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
How often do you try to get steal.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
As much as possible? Yes, as much as possible. Like
I was just telling my manager, I'm like, I'm gonna
go wait for like two weeks. I mean, I'm gonna
be moving and doing stuff. But even when I'm there,
like I'm gonna go in my room, you know, do
my little things, watch my row Housewives. That's where I
find my peace. I just, you know, I just become
a bum for a little bit. I find peace and
working out, just taking care of go to the I
(27:00):
love hiking, being in nature, stuff like that. I'm August eighteen.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You just had a birthday. Yeah, your birthday was all
the ship takes.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Yeah, I was about to say the way you sit
at the tribe was like, man, she sounded like an
April baby. Because tourists, man, but you know, let you Yes, Oh.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I love taurists. That's funny.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yeah, yeah, come on, bull game, that's gang gay. No, yeah,
just gang gay. It's like we're not promoting anything.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
No, not at all, absolutely no.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
But no, I love that you have created this, this
system that revolves around you, creating stillness and creating pockets
of peace or I like to say moments of joy. Yes,
for yourself because in the field that you're in, you
(27:57):
know a lot of toxicity, a lot just like you said,
just like, man, it's some bs. If you don't create
that piece for yourself, you'll find yourself in somebody's corner
and a stray jacket. Literally, how have you been able
to really just I mean twenty years in your career,
(28:20):
Like what has been two things that has really kept you?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
My family and because I have a lot of good
people in my family that have always just that's good.
Like they truly are amazing just always there for me.
So them, I owe a lot to them honestly, and
just my mindset, Like I am a very although I
(28:48):
can be hard on myself, and you know, we all
have our ups and downs and we all go through whatever.
I am a very like care free person at the
same time, like I find it very easy to get
over things and to just like mean, in my my
sister makes so to me. People make fun of me
sometimes cause I'll be in like my own world, so
I have to create my own world or just you know,
find those pockets of joy, those little things, even if
(29:10):
I have to throw Scooby Doo on for thirty fuckings.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I drive my sister crazy because I'm constantly replaying like
the same YouTuber over and over and she's like, what
the fuck, Like how many times can you listen to this?
And I'm like, I just have to because it's like
it's something that's gonna get my energy back, right if
it's slowly sinking or you guys need me to be
on set or you need me to go do whatever,
and if I need a moment to just recharge, like
that's that's I've found that. Got to just keep that
(29:36):
free spirit, that that mindset is just.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Man, we need we need like how they have those
Teslas chargers charging ports. We need to have that for
human life.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yes, we do.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Because we are too old, We're too stimulated. Like I
tell people, like, man, it's just too much stimulation just
shuts me down. Yeah, And I love that you're so
conscious and aware of that, because I mean, you look
in the industry, so many people have fallen apar Yeah,
(30:11):
because they didn't have a good circle, a good family,
a good support system.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
It's hard, though, because when you have a lot of
people around you, especially in this industry, that just want
to be around you or have what you have, or
they think that shit is fund Like the people that
around me, like, yeah, we go out, we have fun sometimes,
but they know this is like my work and they
know where I would rather be. So I think that
it's like you're saying, just having good people around you,
because I think it's the people that will lead you,
(30:36):
steer you in other directions because of what they want
in life or because what they're trying to do with
their life. And yeah, they lead you down, you know,
to darkness. Now, people always leave me the lightness.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
How did you choose your circle?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I didn't choose them. God chose them for me. They're
literally my blood family, my god family. Like I don't
have many friends, honestly, I keep my circle very very small.
I mean my closest friend is literally my sister. So
you know, God God chose them for me. I didn't
have a choice.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, that's and which is which is? Which is? So
phenomenal because for some people it's a complete opposite. Is
it like their family is like they ruined it.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I got those moments too with them though, Like I've
had several moments with family members, so you know, me
and my mom, we haven't always had the most amazing relationship,
but like we've gotten I think with motherhood as well,
that's been another thing that I've learned. I'm like, Okay,
I see it in real time, I'm experiencing it, and
just I definitely, you know, I can. I was an
asshole to my mom, sorry mom for for a while
(31:37):
growing up. I think that I just didn't have much
respect for the specific reason. We've just been through some things,
but this year we've gotten way closer.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Mother happy. You think motherhood allowed you to see your
mom for who she really was?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Absolutely it did. Absolutely. I can definitely fuck with her
a little bit more because I'm like, Okay, I get it.
And it's even more clear to me that my mom,
like her kids are everything to her, like she has
absolutely put us way before herself.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Listen, I'm sitting there because I'm like this, there's so
many parallels because my mom's similar and my mom said
something recently, and I said, Mom, it must be dope
because she called me out the every episode. I'm sure
she won't watch this episode and she gonna be like,
oh my god, doctor. Because she doesn't call me by
my name. She calls me doctor j now it is.
(32:33):
And I'm like, Mama, you can call me j now.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Boy.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
You work hard for that. I got to call you.
She calls me the good doctor. I said, oh, good doctor,
how you doing? So as you would talk about your mom,
I thought about my mother because our parents didn't have
the freedom to expand the way we did.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
Yes, so true.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And my mom said to me, I said, Mom, what
is it like? Because she called me She's like, man,
I'm just so proud of you, like you just said.
Every time I took on YouTube somebody you know, I'm
seeing you know, your clips and stuff. I said, Mom,
what is that like to watch your kids? And she
said something to me Parker, she was like And then
I asked her, I said, Mom, what did you want
(33:17):
to be? I said, what were some of your dreams?
And this broke me. She said, Jay, I didn't know
I could dream, so my kids became everything. Did you
see some of that in your mom?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yes, absolutely, I still do, like I still do.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah, how do you how do you like navigate that
with her knowing that, you know, there's probably some dreams
that she had that she never pursued.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
And I still try and encourage her and still tell
her now like you can still you're not dead, my love,
Like you're still here. You know, we still have time
to figure these things out. And I'm still here and
I would love to invest or figure out how we
can do whatever to help you see one of your
dreams out. Because my mom's like an amazing cook, like
(34:14):
she's always wanted to have a restaurant or you know,
she's very good with interior design, like she's just she's
really that girl. She can do pretty much anything. So
I would love to help her get something off the ground.
But yeah, is.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
It hard for her to receive that.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
I think it's hard for her to believe that. I
think that, you know, once we all get to a
certain age, we feel like we are dead for whatever.
Even some people think they reach thirty and they're like, oh,
I'm old, I can't and whatever. But it's just like
you're never too old to chase your dreams. I'm at
that point in my life now where it's like, look
at me, I'm trying to fucking be a pop star
and I'm thirty years old and my daughter's at home,
(34:51):
so it's just like, you know, fuck it, Like why
not if I have the opportunity to, I'm just like
why not. So, but I think that it's hard for
other people to stay in that mind zone.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
And it's harder for them because they feel that they
have more time behind than they do ahead. And that
was a reality that I had to accept about both
my parents, Like my father is a pastor, and he
(35:25):
didn't say this to me, said it to my sister.
He says, man, everything Jay's doing, I always wanted to
do it. And he said I just lost my way
and he just started passing and he was just like,
you know, that just became all he knows. And I
sent him my we have a new movie coming out.
I sent him Betrayer or the teaser. And my sister
(35:48):
was just like, man, because he can't say things to
me directly. We would call that in therapy trying elation,
when you have to communicate to somebody through somebody who's
connected in that dynamic. And it was interesting because my
sister's like, man, dad was like he wanted to act,
and he wanted to do all these different things, and
(36:09):
I'm saying, like why didn't he? And I had so
much compassion because they grew up in household where no
one never gave them the confidence to do It was
like they were capped before they even got started. You
can only do this, you can only do that. And
(36:31):
as thinking about your mom, my mom, and my dad,
I'm just like, man, it breaks my heart because it's
like I look at them, you know, it's like, man,
they're so gifted and talented.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
And honestly, my thing is is like even if you
spend a year doing something that you haven't always wanted
to and you die and do were that same, I mean,
but you still did something about it and you still
saw you know. And one thing that like I hate
for my mom is like I don't like that she
doesn't feel fulfilled. You know. It's like the only thing
(37:04):
that you can say is like, Okay, you have two
great kids, you know, And it's just like I want
her to feel more like, oh, I really went out
there and I did I made something of myself more
than just like oh, you know, I've owned a beautiful
home and I've done blah blah blah, Like okay, cool.
I just think that as a person, you need to
feel purpose elsewhere. Yes, so outside of your kid, outside
(37:27):
of you know. So that's why it's like, I know,
I'm a great mom. I love being a mom, but like,
what's up with Parker outside in that? Like we got
to get work on that girl, you know, And I
want that from my mom too.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Yeah. So you know, I love that you are exuding
that because so many women lose themself in the title
as mom, as men lose themselves in the title's dad.
And I love how you even said, Hey, at thirty,
I'm trying to be a pop star, you know, Like
I mean, I'm like I was talking to guy who's like,
(38:00):
you're forty three, and you started acting again because I
took off like ten years because I was in school
for like seven of those ten years. I said, yeah,
why not? And for the same reason that you said,
I'm not dead And it's just you know, I'm just
my mind is racing from the amount of people that
have put the nail in the coffin then they're not
even dead.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Yeah, you living up on themselves in a way.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yo oo, man, gosh this for those that are watching,
I'm gonna take this quick break and say to you,
if it didn't happen at twenty, it can happen at thirty.
If it didn't happen at thirty, it can happen at forty.
If you didn't finish at forty, you could start it
at fifty, or you could pick it back up at
(38:48):
sixty or seventy. What I'm saying is, as Parker has said,
you're not dead, stop dying? While are you living?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Clockey?
Speaker 1 (39:03):
She says Clockett? I said, when when we do the
clocktt moment, I'm gonna hit the clockett. I'm not gonna
do the clicking fingers. I'm not gonna do that. Y'all
not gonna make a meme out of me, like doctor
j was on there clicking his finger. No, So it
is moment, go after it, like seriously, go after it.
(39:26):
I remember having this conversation with an older guy and
I asked him. He said, I know my time is
almost up, and I said, what would you have done differently?
He said, I would have gone after everything that I
was afraid to do. And now that I'm getting ready
(39:46):
to die. I can't do anything. Don't live your life
like that, you know, don't live your life like that,
because you don't want to be sitting at the feet
of death wondering what could you have been had you
(40:07):
threw yourself in it? And so what if you fail?
You don't get successful without failure. You need to fail
and then to fail well in it. So go after.
I just had to give y'all that moment. So party
you you have, you have grown from so much. You
(40:27):
went through something very public, you know, and when when
when you go through things, I often say, it's not
fair to deal with a public to to have to
deal with the matter that it's private and navigate it publicly.
(40:54):
That's so challenging. How did you keep your mind knowing
what you had gone through in a relationship and knowing
that it's posted here, is posted there? What kept him saying?
Speaker 2 (41:10):
My family again, honestly, my family, My mom. My mom
made sure like one of the first things that we
did was like get the fuck out of LA and
like she just took me away. I was with my
brother and we just had like a little trip, like
a little staycation. We were we were still in California,
(41:30):
but we weren't in LA and just yeah, just stayed
off of social media as much as possible, of course,
and just stay I tried not to let what was
going on online and outside world they were thinking, because
I knew what really happened, you know, And yeah, I
(41:54):
just stayed sane. And I honestly what really helped was
just jumping right back into work, because I think it
was only like a few months later I had booked
games people play and I was just back to working.
So I had one of the biggest best distractions. And
it wasn't good though, because you know, since this is
(42:17):
all about healing, I don't really feel like I took
enough time to heal properly because that led me to
like running into the arms of my childhood sweetheart and
running off and getting married and just you know, leading
into more just a cycle that shouldn't I'm not gonna
(42:37):
say it shouldn't have happened, because I don't have any
regrets about the situation, but I just wish that, you know,
I would have healed, not taken him through so many
things that I'm sure I did. At the time, I
had just no business like dating, you know, But when
you're young. I don't even think you think about those things.
It's just like you're like, oh, for good, I'm just
onto the next or I just you know, now I
(42:59):
truly great, Like okay, no, I need time away from
dating and from people, and I need to gather my
thoughts and I need to feel okay and ready to
do those things, let alone be fucking married like at
twenty two. Like so, yeah, that's that's kind of what
I did. And it felt good in the moment, of course,
(43:20):
like I mean love, I still love that man dearly.
So it felt good in the moment, and it felt right,
and you know, he made me feel loved and safe,
and that's what I needed at that time because it
was obviously just such a terrible situation to be.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
And particularly when you're coming out of something that is dysfunctional,
the brain looks for safety. Yeah, and sometimes safety can
be disguised, you know, as you know, it could be this,
and it could be him or it could be her.
And so what you're sharing is what most of us
(43:57):
covid as human beings, because in the black community, no
one knows what healing really is.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
Right, we don't talk, well, we don't. We do now
because the social media is like we're forced to see
it every damn day. They're shutting it down the roads,
but like they're like hell, hell, hell, you fucking suck
you just it's like.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Oh my god, and that ain't healing. I'm like, this
is traumatizing. You know, so much pressure, right, And and
I often tell people listen, first of all, sis, brother,
whoever you are watching, you can't heal through social media posts.
Oh I read this post and this woman like, listen.
Real healing is going to require you to put your
(44:37):
phone down and sit with yourself. It's going to require
you and I'm going here, it's going to require you
to close them legs. Good brother, good system. It's going
to require you to sit with yourself and say what
am I doing. Real healing requires you to say it
(45:00):
ain't them, it's me. And when we hear that, people
often think we're like, well, I'm not a problem. They say,
you wor a problem. But sometimes there's parts of us
that causes problems internally that has now impacted others around us,
particularly for people who are unaware that they're causing harm.
(45:23):
Me and Michelle Willis was doing this podcast and I said,
I'm gonna give you an example of how we stay
in places too long that are causing us pain. I said,
this is the person who is causing the pain. This
is a pain, this is the hand is us. What
is happening is as we're receiving this pain, we're hoping
(45:45):
the person who's causing pain recognize that they're hurting us.
So rather than us moving our hand, we stay in
hope that they can say I'm not doing right by her,
I'm not doing right by him. But until you you
are conscious enough to say I deserve better, and sometimes
better will require you to leave what you know. That's
(46:10):
a card moment for me. Sometimes better is going to
require you to leave what you know because healing. What
makes healing so scary, park it is that no one
knows what's on the other side of it. So most
people would rather stay the same than to pursue the
unknown of what's on the other side. This is why
(46:32):
people will stay in relationships that are not good because
it's like, well, this is the devil, I know, but
you're like, well, this ain't you know? Well I know, bro,
I know she gonna do this. Keisha gonna do this, man,
Keisha being like this or terry no, no la la
man healing for real healing. It's gonna require you to
leave it because because you know it right, because it's familiar,
(46:56):
and if you're not careful, we often will find our
sales being drawn back to familiarity.
Speaker 2 (47:02):
That same shit. Yeah, oh man, Michael, so heal.
Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah. So what has healing been like for you?
Speaker 2 (47:14):
Oh, it's been everything. It's been draining some days, of course,
because I mean I also have been in and out
of therapy, like over these past few years. I finally
found a therapist that I love so much.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
I love her so much. It's crazy, like love. She
feels like she's my homegirl, but I know she's not,
so you know, but yeah, just it's it's been exhausting
some days. It's felt like it is very lonely sometimes
too and very it's hard, like the mirror challenge that
(47:50):
you did with the ladies, it's hard to hold a
mirror up to yourself and be like, bitch, you are
the problem, like you said, you know where, like you're
also adding to the problem or eure repeating some cycles
from that you've learned elsewhere, whether it be something that
I grew up seeing, or something that I experienced from
my last relationship, you know, like it was it was. Yeah,
(48:11):
it's been. It's been a journey. It's still a journey
till this day.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
What it is.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Yeah, but it's fun sometimes pouring in, the pouring into
myself when it's like when I walk away from a
therapy session and I'm like, oh my god, that was
like so eye opening and you just feel refreshed, or
like when I'm going to hot yoga doing those things
where I'm like literally pouring into myself and finding the
routine that works for me to refill my cup and
boost myself back up. Like those are the good parts.
(48:36):
But yeah, sometimes it's.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
Draining, mayor I love that. Yeah, it is very draining.
I was like, therapy, it should be worked in stages,
and this is just me. You know, some therapists may
not agree. But even when I was working with clients,
I never like some clients like to come every week,
but if someone was working through something very traumatic, I
(49:01):
would tell them bi weekly or every two weeks because
I wanted to give them time to process what we unpacked.
Because when you were coming out of therapy, it's almost
like somebody just pulled a scalp off a wound and
it's like, man, this thing is hurting all over again.
And then the draining part is it's the reflecting, It's
(49:22):
the introspection. It's also the awareness that happens in therapy, like, oh,
that's what that was. It wasn't me, It happened through me,
but it was really something that's happened in my childhood
that is causing me to behave in its way right now.
So I definitely understand how that can be exhausting.
Speaker 2 (49:46):
Or even like feeling like I just have my emotion,
like I feel smarter in ways than others that I've
tried to deal with recently. Okay, yeah, I'm like, okay,
I can't because you're just not there yet and I'm
not gonna go crazy trying to. I just can't. So
(50:08):
learning to remove myself from those situations as well, that's.
Speaker 1 (50:11):
What therapist do. It a sharpen your tools for how
to choose better for you. Without a disclaimer, you know,
it's like that don't work for me. I love you,
but it don't work for me. Was that hard for
you at first?
Speaker 2 (50:31):
It was hard for me at first because I feel
like I'm definitely at people pleaser. I noticed that of myself,
and I'm also hard on myself sometimes as well. So yeah,
it's been hard, but it's been hard obviously losing people.
I've even lost some people that I thought like, oh wow,
they'll be there forever, but I'm like, oh no, I
(50:52):
just can't deal with this anymore. And like, if you're
not willing to look at yourself in the mirror, have
that conversation with yourself, I'm not going to be the
one for us to have the conversation. Like I have
a kid. It's like where I'm at with it, Like
I'm not here to like raise anybody but Arleie Ray
Wilson like that is it and my dog Jenderbugs. But
like other than that, like I just I'm good, like
(51:15):
because I have too much going on to play.
Speaker 1 (51:18):
So you know what what I like about even just this,
this opportunity to share space with you is and no
one knows Parker's story better than Parker. But what I
do like is I can tell that you're embracing this
this new you. You know. You know, when people are
(51:42):
navigating changes, and when navigating growth, there's usually a resistance
because it's like, man, I don't want to give this up,
but I feel like you're like, no, it's worth giving up.
Speaker 2 (51:53):
I'm ready for better. I'm ready to like get to
the good. Yeah, because it hasn't been great like these
past few years.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
So and I'm a man of faith. Yeah, And my
prayer for you is that you experience better from your
on out in every area of your life, not just
in your career, but in your personal life. Yes, in
your spirit and your mind and your body. And when
(52:25):
you lay down at night, you're actually resting and not
I mean you can actually rest and not just sleep,
because I know what it's like when you are navigating
just the God. I know iticed like when you just
like you feel like you can't get out of this
thing and it's just like it's like a vortex. It
won't let you out, and you don't sleep well, Like
(52:48):
you go to sleep, but you wake up tired because
your body is up, your mind is up, and then
your nervous system is still in a fight or flight mode.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Yes, absolutely, I think once I get out of like this,
for when when I move back home and I'm back right,
I need to be and I you know, finalize things
like in my personal life. I think that will definitely help.
You're so right, because I would love to get some
good rest.
Speaker 1 (53:13):
Yeah, that's my prayer for you. I pray that God
allows you to rest, and it's rest that's going to
restore you where you can wake up with a clear
thought pattern and wake up with a new outlook on life,
because not only do you deserving of it, you're working
(53:33):
toward it, you know. And it's not you know, it's
not easy to choose better. It's not because when you
have to choose better, you have to choose outside of
the way that you've been operating. So it's like if
(53:54):
I've always done the same thing and someone says, what
changes up like for what it's been doing it like this, man,
It's like, no, you need to change this up. It's
hard to change it up. So I want to say,
you know, I'm proud of you for choosing to say,
you know what, I'm going to take this journey because
I do want better. And what I love about this
(54:15):
is there, as you're choosing better, your daughter gets to
experience better. Right, she gets to experience that from you.
And here's how healing works, because it's twofold. As she
gets to experience better with you as a mom, you
get to experience better from you as a little girl
(54:38):
that's still healing. So it's working twofold, right, you know?
So I love that, you know, for you, for a
young lady that is sitting watching that has come out
of what you come out of. What would you say
(55:01):
to them?
Speaker 2 (55:04):
Are we talking about like just violence?
Speaker 1 (55:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (55:10):
Oh the PG version. I'll keep it cute, because what
I really want to say is fuck these niggas, like
for real, because there was a time where I felt
like sorry for him, Like how could you feel sorry
for someone who's doing this to you?
Speaker 3 (55:26):
You know?
Speaker 2 (55:28):
But yeah, don't feel sorry for these niggas. You're not
here to raise them or teach them how to love
or how to be loved. Just pour into yourself all
that love you were giving the wrong person. Pour that
into yourself one hundred and ten times, and see how
amazing your life will be in a year. And see
where you stand in a year, because wasted love is
(55:50):
a wasted life.
Speaker 3 (55:52):
Oh hard tear moment you just at the bar, You
just dropped a bar?
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Do you realize that.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
That's how I really feel? Though I wasted a lot
of time those eight months of my life. Yeah, but
it was tragic. It was a lot. And then now
it's like I'm still you know, I'm still recovering. I
really really am. M.
Speaker 1 (56:25):
Can I pray for you?
Speaker 2 (56:27):
I would love that and I need it in my life.
Speaker 1 (56:31):
So I'm going to pray. And this is the first
time I ever doing it, done this in the midst
of an episode. But I want to pray for you
because I want you to experience the healing that you
deserve and the freedom that you're looking for, and for
(56:51):
the women that are watching all. And I say this
because I had to go pick up a little girl
that was in my program in a hotel room. She
called me. I'm sleep It's two thirty in the morning,
and she says, mister j will you come and get me.
They're going to rape me. And I said what She
(57:19):
ran away from my mom's house sixteen years old and
she's in this hotel and this is in Houston, in
one of the worst errors in Houston. And I called
my close friend. I said, man, we have to go
get her. And when we picked her up and they
let out the room, it was like a bunch of dudes.
It was just like they didn't want to let her out.
And they let her out. I was like, let's pull up.
(57:42):
And I was say, hey, man, can y'all let her out?
And I wasn't coming with no scrap or nothing like that.
I said, man, can y'all just let her out? Man?
And they let her out and we got in the
car and she was just crying. And I said, I
didn't jump down on her or anything like that, and
I said, what were you looking for? She's like, mister Jay,
I just wanted to get out the house. And at
(58:04):
the time, there was this app to call the kick
app or something like that where the kids would share
a location and it would be like this party or whatever.
And I drove her home and she was crying and
she said, mister Jay, thank you. And I'm sharing that
(58:24):
because sometimes when you know, and I want to be
very sensitive to this, sometimes when women and I've seen
this on so many different you know, levels, experience domestic violence,
sexual violence, people don't realize the trauma that this calls
(58:47):
in somebody's brain, like real talk. And I'm gonna say
something to you, ladies. I've never seen a man that
loved himself put his hands on a woman. I want
you all to catch that. I've never seen a man
that love himself that can physically harm a woman because
(59:11):
there's a lot of women that live in silence. I'm
so thankful for part of to share it because she
didn't have to share, even just a little that she shared.
But there's a lot of women that live in the
silence of their pain and many times when they try
to leave, and this is studies shows us that it
(59:34):
doesn't end well. And this is why I'm wanting men
to start healing, because brothers, you cannot carry and project
your pain onto these women that you're saying that you
love and these kids, because it's just it's sickening. And
I had to take this moment because this is the
(59:58):
opportunity that I have with this platform, because I've seen
it firsthand and my own family, and nobody said nothing,
and it's normalized like oh, that's just like no, no, no, no, no.
You deserve so much more. And I don't know who
you are. You deserve so much more. You can start over.
(01:00:22):
Starting over doesn't mean you're starting from stratch. And most
people don't leave because they feel like I got to
start from stratch. I gotta go do this, I gotta
go do that, and so I just want to say
you can start over. So I'm want to grab your
hand if you don't mind, and I'm want to pray.
And my prayer for you is that you are amazing
(01:00:44):
and amazing woman. I'm not talking about your talent, just
for who you are. If you didn't do another movie,
if you didn't to do another show, if you didn't
do another song, you are an amazing woman because you
chose better for you, because because you could have stayed
for the sake of and I'm so happy that you
(01:01:06):
chose you, because God has so much in store for you. Father,
I thank you for your daughter, Parker. I thank you
God for just her, using her courage, using her life,
using her voice, just even just a little that she shared.
But Father, I prayed for the peace of God that
surpasses all understanding, to rest upon her, to rest on
(01:01:29):
her daughter, to rest on her family. Father, we can't
change what has happened, We can't change what is called.
But Father, I thank you that the change that has
happened in her is allowing her to see her value
beyond any relationship, beyond any gig, beyond any movie, beyond
this entertainment industry, Father, beyond anything that she's ever received.
(01:01:53):
And I pray that after tonight, Father, that she's able
to rest, that she's able to embrace the life that
you are creating for her, that she's able to find
more pockets of joy, more pockets of peace, and she's
able to drift into her own solitude of stillness and
to rest. And when she enters and back into the
(01:02:14):
world of chaos, and which she does so beautifully with
the gift that you blessed her with. Father, that she
has the capacity to manage your will, but she also
has the tools to disconnect. So God, I thank you
for her transformation. I thank you for healing. I also
thank you for the voice that you've giving her to
(01:02:34):
shed light on unhealthy patterns, unhealthy relationships and encouraging women
to love themselves. Father, I thank you for her. Thank
you for a team, her family and those that have
supported her. Bless all that she does and bless all
that she will continue to do. Father, and we thank
you in Jesus' name.
Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
Amen, Amen, man, thank you, yes.
Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
Yes, listen, wasn't playing y'all know how I get down
I have to listen to the spirit of God because
as much as y'all know me to be who I am,
I cannot not be who God has made me to be.
I have a sensitive spirit, and I have a heart
for people, and I want to say, Parker, thank you,
(01:03:19):
thank you, thank you for sharing your story, thank you
for sharing your light. Man, you have such a beautiful personality.
Please for the sake of me. But doctor J, don't
lose that. Don't lose your smile, man, because your smile
is healing for somebody. So I pray many blessings on
all your endeavors and that you continue to excel and
(01:03:42):
blow up these pop charts. You know, man, we need
we need some new music.
Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Out here, Yes to some fun, good music.
Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
Yes, yes, So listen, guys, go follow Parker, follow her journey,
follow her music, and you know, show us some love.
And we're so grateful to have her in the healing community.
And listen. Healing. It's a journey and wholeness is the destination.
(01:04:13):
Until next time, keep doing the work. Just here with
Doctor J, a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple
Podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite shows, and
you can follow me at King J Barnett on Instagram
and x and follow us on YouTube Just Heal Doctor J.
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