Healing Through a Failed Business with Archie Clay III

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Jesshill with Doctor J, a production of the
Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. I'm doctor J. Barnett
and welcome back to another episode of Just Hell with
Doctor J. I'm excited about the guests that we have today.
A good friend of mine and a growing brother because

(00:20):
I met him a couple of years ago and I
just had this shameless plug. I am wearing his clothing line,
and I mean, it's so dope. This feels good on
my skin, grave material. I love the color. I think
orange look good on us, brown skin dove. And so
I want to welcome to the healing community my good

(00:42):
brother Archie Clay the Third, who is the founder of
brain Love clothing line in Bloomingdale's. Listen, I'm gonna let
you talk about all of the good stuff that you're doing,
and then we're going to get into how did you
get to creating brain Love, and then what is mental
health to you? And all that stuff. Man, So welcome
man to the healing community. No, thank you, thank you

(01:03):
for having me. It's pleasure pleasures always man. So, man,
brain Love, How did it come about? Do struggle? So
I had a company car Wear Brams, which we started
in twenty sixteen, I had a business partner, did it
amazing things. We was in even markets Norsham, Sex scaled

(01:26):
to the seven figure business. At the pinnacle of the business,
we broke apart and that was a tremendous time here
for me where I felt lonely, depressed and like Reno,
what was next for me? I had to take a
step back to really understand what my journey was and
I think from their God kind of positioned me to say, hey,
there's something bigger for you, and brain love is a

(01:46):
space for you to really show people the importance of
why your evolution is important to connecting it back to
your mindset. And so for me, it was all about
making sure that people understood that it's okay to have struggle.
It's okay to want more on your life, and it's
okay to understand that your mental health is important. But
it's also okay to be fly at the same time,
you know what I mean, those two things, those things

(02:07):
can be together at one. So you so you so
what I'm hearing is you didn't want to take away
who you are at your core, with your creativity, fashion
and all those things, and so uh now here's the
thing about about this podcast. You already know you can't
give us no surface answer. You can't be vague, brother,

(02:27):
So we were gonna go in brain. Let's start there. Yes,
And before we get to the love part. When you
think about the word brain, what do you what comes
to mind? I think it's your mind right, the ability
to understand that if we want to become the better
version of ourselves, it's not about the physical things that
we have going on, It's about the mental side of things.

(02:49):
Because the end of the day is that you know,
as we grow and as we evolve, like our mindset
has to continue to grow and evolved. And I think
that we're taught you know that we just focused on
getting to the baggage and money be strong, especially as
black men. It's not talking about like your mental capacity
or your emotional capacity, you know what I mean. For me,
it's like I've kind of always been in brass. Especially

(03:10):
my mother always taught me that my emotion on my powers, right.
I've always been a very sensitive emotional person growing up,
you know what I mean, And so for me, it's
always been very very important to understand that, you know,
we want to be good people. Good husbands, good friends,
that we have to continue about our mind and understand
more about people in general and their emotions and on

(03:31):
your own emotions, you know what I mean. So when
you talk about, you know, being emotional and sensitive as
a as a young kid, what was that like for you?
Because I'm sure growing up in a black community, understanding
your emotions but also understanding your level of sensitivity right,

(03:55):
And I like to associate that with your ability to
feel right, which I don't think a lot of brothers
know how to do because the way we are socialized,
that part of us is turned off, right. And I
don't think it's turned off intentionally from us, it's turned

(04:15):
off environmental. Because if you're told don't cry, shut up,
suck it up, boy, I wish you would, right for sure.
Not only am I programming you to not feel I'm
also programming you to not get in touch with what

(04:40):
is actually going on inside of me, because there's a
there's a difference between the emotion and the feeling. Right,
the feeling is what is happening. The emotion is what
it is. So and I just wanted to expound on that.
I wanted to expound on that for for the viewers,

(05:02):
But for you as a young black boy, because I'm
going to share my experience on what it was like
to feel as a young black boy. What was it like?
Son is a little different. So I grew up singing
home for since I was until I was eight, Move
to Mississippi, about Mississippi below Peoplo Elvis. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(05:26):
So my story looks my mom was very aligned to
my emotions because my dad mental issues when I was
when I was young, my dad walked walked down on me.
My mom when I was too do you know what
the mental issue? We still were still unraveling that right
now as we speak. Uh So, for me, my mom
is always kind of been focused on being me, having

(05:47):
emotional intelligence and being okay with my sister being sensitive,
being okay crying so like, and also is homeschool. So
my perspective was a little different than your common black
boy where I wasn't that wasn't my household. It wasn't
be quiet or crying. The only time Mama told me
how to start crying, I'm going homework and I'm crying
in my book and I'm not getting my ass right.
That's the only time. But other than that, I was

(06:08):
open to be emotionally and open to feel and be
feeling because that was part of my mom how she
taught me, you know what I mean. So I think
that kind of goes back to how I'm raised now,
is that I'm I'm always crying. My wife knows, like
you be crying all the time. That's just kind of
how I've been raised. Like I cry when I'm mad,
or cry when I'm emotional. I cry when things are good,
things are happening. That's I've been I was raised to

(06:28):
have that perspective, you know what I mean. So I
never felt, I guess, uncomfortable crying in a situation or
even if I was crying in school or something when
I missed you went back to school. I went back
to school when I was in eighth grade after being
homeschool for about like six seven years. Wow, Now, how
was it with the first time, Because I know, as

(06:49):
you're dating before you got married, the first time that
I'm sure your girlfriend fiance shed go through all those stages. Now,
the first time she saw you cry, what was her response?
The first time she saw me cry was when I
was going through the period of losing jobs and I
was in this is a pinnacle of me building my
first company. And I remember also, I remember we talked.

(07:13):
We talked about in the past, like there was a
period where I was uncertain because I didn't fill out
I deserve to have a relationship because I wasn't. My
financial and my job situation wasn't right. So I'm challenging
myself like, you're not you don't need to be with
this good girl like this, And you're not. You don't
have your own stuff together, so why are you even
even entertaining that situation? And I remember having a job, driving,

(07:35):
getting fired, coming back to the house and crying and
telling her like this is this happening over and over again.
I remember her saying like, maybe should go full time
into your business. And that was the first time where
I was like, oh, this is probably my wife. Wow,
what did that do to you? Because that's often not
the case. No for sure in twenty twenty five, Oh yeah, yeah, definitely.

(07:58):
If you come back home saying you've lost your job,
it's like, so you mean more Luther friz No, no
more stake for the eight you know what I mean?
We can't I mean, we can't go to Lenox, You
know what did that do to you as a man,
For the woman that you're dating to not only see

(08:19):
what you were trying to build, but also to speak
and to who she saw you to be. Because for
her to tell you you need to go full time
into entrepreneurship, that tells me she had to see something
in you that that you had yet to see. So
my wife always say that I'm very consistent. That's how
That's how I got her because I was always in
the DMS. He's always so you guys met through, but

(08:42):
that crosses over to like how do business too. I'm
very persistent and very consistent, you know what I mean.
So for me her me, hearing that honestly just poured confidence,
additional confidence into who I was and really helped me
really align back into it and not allowed that that
short term failure to come over me and keep me

(09:04):
from where God was supposed to push me in, you
know what I mean. So for me, it kept it
pushed me hard and that's why the business became where
it is where it went to because of me being
able to be comfortable and do what I needed to do.
So is that how you got the love? Yeah? Because
I feel like love to me is just a second

(09:27):
notice how it started out the brain and now you
see how that Transah. For sure, that's the therapist in
me really, but I wanted to wanted to show the
people how this intersect to how you know for sure,
you know what I definitely, but I think the love
is just life, Like I think we have to be
happy with oneself and be happy with yourself first and

(09:50):
loving yourself first, and then loving the people around you,
you know what I mean. And I think that's something
that's always been a pinnacle who I am as a person,
just always loving the people around me and loving your
community like loving and I got that from my mom,
Like I feel like the love factor come. My mom
loves very hard and I love very hard, you know

(10:10):
what I mean. So for me, I think that's just
a part of who I am as a person and
really pushing it into what we're building as a business,
but also getting people to understand it's not just about
the business side, it's about we want you to truly
feel that essence when you when you when you lock
eyes on the brand and you put put clothes on
of the brand or whatever it looks like like you
feel that energy of who we are as a brand

(10:32):
in a company. You know, brother, I think this is
so beautiful because as I'm listening to you, I'm reflecting
on when we met right and you were speaking about
your your clothing brand, and you were speaking about the
message behind it. And I love what your brand represents, uh,
And because I look at it from this perspective of

(10:55):
not only feeding the brain, but also loving the brain.
And because the way you feed the brain is what
you read, it's what you hear. But the way you
love the brain, it's the way you treat yourself and
how you see yourself. And I think you know when
you think about brain love, how can we better love

(11:17):
our brains? Because if we love our brain better, we'll
love each other better. And we talked about this, Yeah,
we we talked about this in great length. Man. Now
somebody's watching because we often hear people say love yourself.
How have you done that? As a black man who

(11:38):
is an entrepreneur, recently married, newla wed, how did you
love yourself before you got to the husband to the
business side. And I know that you said mom was
loving and she loved hard, but how did you what
was your journey like I mean I think I mean
to your point, I think the confidence that I received

(12:00):
that as a younger boy, and as I continue to
grow grow and graduating going to a SPEC you getting
that culture that amplified me to love myself even more. So.
I think for me it's it's it wasn't just me.
I think it's my community too, and the things that
are around me that allow me to talk constantly love
myself over and over and over again, you know what

(12:21):
I mean. Going to AHPEC you pleasure and incorporated having
the best friends in the world, like having these strong
communities and knowing that you have so much work to
give to the world, you know what I mean. And
that connects back to my own lifestyle of who I
was as a young boy, like this constant rein constant,

(12:42):
like just focusing on what I've always been taught, you
know what I mean. So it's like loving myself has
always been. I've never had an issue. I love with myself,
you know what I mean, because of us, the community
and people around me. Just the constant because I've always
been connected to people, and I feel like I feed
off of just energy and people around me, you know
what I mean. So that's always the thing that's always

(13:03):
been aligned to the love factor of who I am
as a person. And I'm gonna tell you why that's profound,
because until you've been love well, you can't love. You
were love well, and you were loved in a way
that you never had to question Archie. In fact, Archie
was able to discover answers more so than to shore

(13:26):
with the world with the question. Because when we don't
have love, and we don't have an environment that is loving,
it's hard for us to really identify not just purpose,
but to identify who you are at your core right.
And that's a challenge for so many brothers, unfortunately, because

(13:49):
we don't get to pick our parents. And kudos to
your mother, man, for loving you brother in such a
way that you didn't have this journey of like, man,
I don't love myself, I don't know who I am.
I'm just you know, as matter of fact, I'm not
showing up in the world. I'm just existing, right, And
I think, Man, that is so beautiful and a testament

(14:09):
to your mom environment but her awareness because you said
your father had mental health issues and when she noticed that,
she was able to identify the way that she needed
to pour into you, right, do you feel that mom
pouring into you was also to prevent you to not

(14:30):
end up like that? And so for sure, definitely, like
we kind of packed that open since I've been in therapy,
because I've been revisiting the conversation with my father with
my therapist just recently, and because I've struggled with it
over years, especially when my grandmother passed away. I really
struggled with like my identity connected to my dad, you
know what I mean, because my mom that's always been there,

(14:52):
you know what I mean. But I've always struggled with
the thought process of my mom because my mom protected me,
but also protecting my dad because you will always be
very highly of him. And if I got older, I
started a question, if we speaking very horghly of him,
what's what's the what's the what's what's happening? Because he's
not here, you know what I mean. So I think
at times that kind of hurt because of just hearing

(15:15):
all these amazing things about my father, But I'm not
getting that same energy back, you know what i mean,
but also not really understanding the whole mental aspect as well,
Like I'm hearing that he has mental health issue, but
then there's situations that happened if I'm getting older that
doesn't really align, but then I'm hearing it again, you
know what I mean. So I think for me, it's
just like constantly remembering that he kind of has to

(15:35):
just give people grace, you know, And I've give him
my father grace, and I've also given my mother grace
as well, you know what I mean. So just understanding
that it's it's okay when when you think about your
father today in this present time, what are your thoughts
about him, and just knowing it's crazy. I say because
about therapist that we just we just talked about cause

(15:56):
I told her that because we so my therapist basically
told that I had to basically talk to my parents
and my mom and my aunties and kind of really
understand what truly happened and from the mental health perspective
and figured that out. Had another conversation with my father
and we kind of really had a conversation for the
first time ever, a real conversation. Realized that we love
the same things. We love martial arts, so on and

(16:18):
so forth. So very very happy in that moment. End
the conversation. My dad was like, hey, like send me
photos so I can just see or when you got married,
seeing a bachelor party and things of that it's just
like be hyper and also see me an address or
I can sing you something as when I did that,
he never responded back. So it's a little hurt because

(16:38):
I was excited about continue to push the standard further.
But I also was okay because I realized that I
think this is where it's going to be. And I'm
told my therapist is like, I'm okay with that now.
I think I finally found space and understanding that this
is just how my relationship and my father is going
to be and it's okay. So to answer your question

(17:02):
is that I just I'm okay with it because our
mayor at our it me and my wife is wedding.
I was crying when I saw my dad. I wasn't
crying of happiness. I was just crying. I was just
crying because he could have been there or not and
I would have been okay. And I'm holding that space

(17:24):
of pause to let somebody who's watching this really feel
the gravity of that response, but also the profoundness in
that statement because I too, have done the same thing.
You know what I've shared transparently, you know, Man, I

(17:45):
get calls from my mentors all the time. Jay, you
killing it, man, Man, I'm so proud of you, oh son. Man,
every time I turn around, you hear you there. And
I've battled in moments because it would be great to
hear my father just pick up the phone and just
be like, Man, I'm really really proud man. Like my

(18:09):
dad calls me brother and it's like, hey, what's the weather,
what y'all weather looking like? Like literally, and I'm like,
and I always answer the phone, and I always know
how it's going to go. Right. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
My dad's a pastor, and my father talks to me
like another pastor. Hey, doc, hey doc. He calls me

(18:32):
doctor now since I you know, finished school. But it
turns into some type of like church rhetoric, right, like
the pastors have all right, all right, all right, man,
how's everything everything? And it never goes beyond that, like
what y'all weather looking like? I'm like, oh, it's nice,
it's like eighty five. Oh this good weather? Good weather?

(18:54):
And it get quiet all right, all right, I'm a
holler at you later and that's it. But what you
said is what I came to the conclusion of years ago,
and I actually said this on the Breakfast Club Charlomagne.
I was like, he said, what do you do and
how do you feel if your dad never comes around?

(19:15):
Just really have this relationship that you truly desire. Because
I carried my father's name, so I'm a junior and
part of me has always wanted to have this relationship
with Singing. But one day I got to the place
where you are and I said, Man, if he never
comes around, I'm okay because what I realized, Archie, was

(19:39):
that the healing and the work that I've done was
it for him? Right. That's my thirdes told meence like
you're thinking about it. You're thinking about him and his feelings,
Like how do you feel? Like how do you how
is your feeling? What was your feeling towards him not
responding to your test message versus saying, oh, well, you
know he throwing it back on him. It's like, how

(20:01):
do you feel? Like? Yo? Man, you know what I'm saying.
But that's to your point of it is what it is.
And I think healing is also accepting what may never
be right exactly, And healing is also accepting that I

(20:22):
have to be okay with the person that I love
exactly may never give me the love that I've always desired,
because for us as sons, there is a love that
we seek from fathers that mother can't give. And I

(20:42):
feel like this, and some may argue with me, I
feel like this. A mother determines what a child remembers.
A father determines what the child believes. Because with Dad,
that's nothing I can't do because if Dad say, boy,

(21:06):
you got it. Oh, I'll run through this fireplace, right
because see my mom is gonna give you. Oh, come here,
baby coming, And that's great, right, But it's something about
when dad touches you on the shoulder and say, hey,
you keep pushing right. I know you didn't make the team,
but let's let's work hard. It's just something about that

(21:28):
reinforcement which makes who we are becoming right even more
powerful because to not have that and to yet be
a good husband, to not have that, and to yet
be someone who is making a mark in this world

(21:48):
like you are with your brand and with your message,
how does that make you feel? Because in my head
I was thinking, I was thinking that because even before
people asking like you know you're gonna have come a
third and I was like, I would never am I
passing the name? Now? Oh I wouldn't. But I changed
my perspective. Okay, I want to hear because I realized

(22:08):
is that I am the new I am changing the
perspective of how things. Okay, I love to you know
what I mean. And for me, it's like because of
my situation with my father that I cannot allow that
to pass down to my son or my daughter, whoever
whatever comes first. So if I have a son that
I can't make a decision based on my dad and

(22:30):
what he did in me. I'm just passing the same
perspective down. So for me I had if I if
I decided, if I decided I want my son to
have the fourth is because I want it. If I
decide not to because I want him not to have it,
not because I don't want my son to have the
fourth because it's coming from his energy. Like no, it's
coming from me. Listen, I gotta see the net because

(22:56):
because I could ask all the time, like with you
name your son and third and the first time like
you know, of course that's the first thing he was saying.
You know, the first thing was saying, because you're you're
we're a time. We're tying that, tying that to our experience.
But it's not our experience. It's the experience my son experience.
If I have a son, it be me exactly, and
I ain't. I'm not that, and I if I am

(23:20):
blessed with that, he will never have to worry about
that ever. Now I'm gonna say this, Uh, I love
the perspective, but I still don't think I named my
son and that fine no no no meaning meaning like
I don't like the name. Yeah, I don't even like
the name. I could. I don't even want to. I

(23:40):
don't even want my son to go through, you know,
go through this, this generation having to be called what
my legal name is? Your legal legal name? Yeah, yeah,
my legal name. Now I'm a junior, so I my
name is JJ. That's what everybody knows me. It's JJ
and my family and I've cut off the J and
I just go by. I started doing that. Yes, it's

(24:02):
Mississippi name that I would not say right here. And
I love you, my father, But you did talk about
being vulnerable. Yes, I can't because because for me, I
have a different meaning for the name. He also have
a different experience exactly, And that's what healing is about.

(24:23):
Healing is about changing the way others experience us, but
also changing how we experience those who are connected to us,
and particularly in the bloodline and those in our families,
and changing our experiences in life, because healing brings not

(24:45):
only profound perspective, but it also brings a different way
of hearing, a different way of seeing, a different way
of understanding. And you just, I mean, you helped me
today because I was really stuck there. Man. I was
just like, man, I can't name my son that Like

(25:06):
I've always wanted to name my son Joshua. Okay, I
love the name of Josha. Yeah. I love the name
of Joshua. I love what Joshua was the Moses. I
love what Joshua did. He was resilient. I mean, when
nobody else wanted to go and take the land, he
would and took it. And so I'm like, if I

(25:26):
have a son, I want him to understand that he
was born to take and to conquer. And so that's
you know, if I have a son, that's that's kind
of you know that was just, you know, something that
I've always wanted to do. But I want to talk about.

(25:49):
You know, you're a young black man with his clothing brand.
You recently got married, and you got married in a
society where a lot of men are running for marriage.
Why did you get married? I was a time crash.

(26:11):
I was playing all of you, of the thirty five,
thirty five young man. Yeah you still had time. Yeah, sure,
she would say otherwise. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure all
of them, But no, they like good brother. I think so.

(26:31):
My wife has been a part of both of companies,
the journey of both right and I think that for me,
I said, I come from a woman household, my Jordan
half of my life, you know what I mean. So
I've always seen power and women and their ability to
pour into it as much as we pour into them,
you know what I mean. My wife is always been

(26:53):
like literally right there next to me through everything for
both of us, as far as our own trauma that
we both have endured on whatever that looks like, you
know what I mean. So for me, when when that
time was right, it didn't, then it was the right time,
Like I knew, I knew, I knew that we were
probably gonna be married when we first our first day.
So she she liked old fashions. I like old fashion,

(27:14):
so I was like, oh we got start with old fashion.
I like old fashion too, and she on the west side,
Oh be perfect. Wow, you know what I mean. So
it's like and also I was in a d or
two this going back and forth trying to get it, you
know what I mean. So I think there's there's God
has a way of like connecting people, and I think
what we just we've always just been bonding, even through
our you know, arguments and things and there we've always

(27:35):
stayed in tact. So I want to I want to
go back because there's a lot that you just say,
I don't want to unpack. So one what drew you
to her? To d m her? So it's a funny story. Okay,
So I actually didn't know who she was. So my
one of my best friends, my boy had a Smoothy

(27:57):
smoothie spot at the time, and I would just going
to school. I was just talking and you know, God talk,
and my boys like, hey, bro, like it's a shawdy
song on Instagram. I think you will like her, you
know about type so I saw all ya, I said,
I'm definitely sliding in that. So soon as I left
sent the message. Took a little second, you know, she'll
tell the story differently because you know I want But

(28:18):
took a little second for her to you know, responding
back to her. Then she eventually swatted how to kind
of like it took a second to get back and
but like I said, it being consistent, being persistent. She
was consistent. And at the end of the day, it's like, hey,
it ain't over till it's over, you feel me. So
I finally got the first day. And then on the
first day, I remember from I'm from Atlanta, so I
know what the line looks like. And I know normally

(28:38):
people when they talk about Atlanta and they talk about
the West Side, it's like, oh, it's ghettos, Like no
one's still living on the livel there. Most people that
lived moved to Atlanta moved to Bucket first. She would
had just moved from DC down to Atlanta, stayed in
the Bucket for lois, but bought her house in West Side.
So when she told me that, I was like, oh, like,
you're very aware of your surroundings. And I think that's
super attractive for you to know that, because most people

(28:59):
will say, like am I going to the West Side?
Like what first of my buying the house as a
woman in the West side by myself? So for me,
it's like you gotta look great lot, you know what
I'm saying. So for me, and also the old fashions,
like most of the old fasts as well, you know
what I mean. So for me, that was something that
the old fashion to drink. Yeah drink okay, old fashioned drink.
So for me, it's like, oh, that's something that was

(29:19):
a lot of man from marriages kind of stay there,
you know, travel together then all across the world together.
So like we we love movies, we love to travel,
so like that connectivity has always been a part of
who we are. And you know, for marriages, it was
always on the table. It's about the right time and
what God wanted to a line. So you know what,
what I love how you're expressing how you guys met

(29:43):
and and how your eyes light up to talk about
your wife and to talk about your experience, because oftentimes
you hear these stories like I don't want to be married,
I don't you know, And what I'm hearing from you
is that the right relationship is healing right? How did
your relationship with your wife? Now? How did it heal you?

(30:06):
In some ways? Being patient and honestly cleaning better, you know,
since I think you know us as me and we
don't clean. But my wife got me a check, you
know what I mean. But I think on serious note,
it's like really being passion with yourself and believing yourself.
You know, I think that my wife has gave me
the ability to really chase my dreams and I think
that's a beautiful thing. I literally told her when we

(30:28):
just found out we got you know, a big, a
bigger contract with Bloomedel's this past Friday. Oh that hold on, brother,
we got to clap to that man. Yeah, you know,
to clap to that man. I let they say text
is just like, man, I'm super grateful because nothing, none
of this is possible without you at the end of
the day, you know what I mean, because it's it
can be very lonely building a company second time, Wow,

(30:52):
you know what I mean. And also only I've struggled
with my mind my confidence do as well, because I
am afraid that the same thing happened and of course
I'm have a business part of it, but I'm afraid
that I would fail again. Even though I didn't fail,
but like it's still a form of failure, like for
something where I didn't see that being the end of
my first business, you know what I mean. So sometimes

(31:14):
in my head, I'm like, this, this is what I
need to be doing. Should I be going to get
a job? Like you know, you just you want to
be the man that's making good decisions, you know what
I mean. So having this thing happen, honestly, helped me
get my truly get my confidence back in my feed
because I just want to make sure that we as
a family and we're building this legacy when it comes

(31:35):
to being a clay you know what I mean. We're
really changing the dynamic of our family and our family together,
you know what I mean. So for me, it's like
sometimes I be in my head talk to my head,
like are you worthy of this? Honestly? We just we
just came back from Japan on a two week vacation
and my head, I'm like, do I need to be
over here because I need to be homeworking and not
being my computer for two weeks. That's a long time.

(31:56):
I have to be working, but I had to be
in a moment to understand that this is gratitud and
God has given it to me for a reason, and
hurt in my life for a reason. They have to
be in a moment and read appreciate this time because
I mean, at the end of the day, is all
we This is all the time we have it the
only time we have loved. And I want to say
to you, you're worthy not only of that contract, but
you're worthy of more, for sure, and you're deserving them

(32:19):
more and I don't know the terms and all that,
but even more and as as as far as you
can believe, it's what you will achieve for sure, and
let it scare the hell out of you. I think
there's a part that I want to unpack in another episode.

(32:42):
It's called healthy fear. There's some elements of fear that
I think that we need because it shows how much
we need God. But it also shows how much we
need our partners and those around us. And I think
what really blesses me about this, and this is why
I love you. Know. This space that I'm in now

(33:03):
is to bring these conversations and to have dialogue that's
going to heal people, because you're healing somebody right now
who is trying to do it on their own and
not do it without their partner, and their partners wanted
to help. And again, you know, I have to talk
bouble because that's my core. How can two walk together

(33:25):
and accept their grief? And what I'm happy about for you, Archie,
is that you found somebody who agrees with even the
things that you hadn't yet to discover that you need
an agreement with because you believe in yourself. With the failure,
as you said, cause you to like man, I don't know,

(33:46):
but for her to say you can yeah, bred shirts, Man,
that's beautiful. Brother. You know man, these conversations, man, I
wish they gave me like our or do these conversations man,
because I mean, I know it's going to be helping people,
helping brothers, helping sisters. Man. But I have to ask

(34:08):
you the question that I ask every guest, And every
time I have to ask this question, I always pause
because as I'm thinking of the question, I begin to
think about how would I answer it? Now? Because each
episode is different, each person brings a different energy, each
person has a different story, oh with their journey and

(34:29):
to hear your journey about childhood, your dad, school mom,
non braying love. What does healing means to Archie Hm?

(34:50):
I would say, Man, healing means to me is having faith.
Got set it right here, Like I think we forget that,
you know, we can't really control are healing with out
the spiritual side of things. I know you just quote
a scripture. And like I said, I've struggled with my
faith because I come from a Muslim background, real Muslim,

(35:12):
and I've had my own struggles with my faith and
my religion, you know what I mean. But I've also grown.
I realized that having faith and believing that God is
right there with you even when he may not be
there with you, you know, and through all my struggles that
I realize He's always been there with me, and I've
always been healing. I've always been healing. I've always been

(35:35):
healing with my dad. I've always been healing with my
company and my business with the business partner and all that. Like,
I've always been healing. And once I realized that if
I can have faith in Him and believe that I
on the right track that He has me on, I'm
just learning from the different situations that He's given me
to continue to grow and evolve. And that's to kind
of hold my trou who we are as a brand.

(35:55):
It's like, yeah, losion starts with you if you can
focus on yourself, and it truly is. Hey, I believe
and I have faith that everything is gonna be okay.
And now I understand that everything's gonna be okay. It's
gonna be okay as long as I'm doing the work
and I'm am providing resources to myself and my family,
and I say resources spiritual. Continue to get better every

(36:17):
single day, you know, challenging myself, challenging us like we
will be okay because we have faith that we're gonna
be okay. Beautiful man, beautiful brother. I appreciate you, and
I man, I'm so proud of you. Man. I be
watching YouTube right for the past. Man, stop your brother.

(36:38):
You know that's what happened when you when you start
taking better care of yourself. I shared all that dead
wait man because I needed to heal, you know. And
I want to say to the viewers and those that
are watching, I think we forget in mental health that
there is a spiritual component to it right, whatever your
belief is, you have to have something that you believe

(37:03):
in higher than yourself. You cannot heal without your spiritualities.
You have to. And I'm being careful as I say this,
because I know people believe different things, But I could
not have healed without my faith and without my belief
in God. And as you just heard Archie say, for

(37:24):
him healing his faith, what do you have faith in?
Do you have faith in the process, do you have
faith in the journey that you owt Whatever you do,
whatever modality you choose, whatever apparatus you use, meaning whether
some of you are listening to apps, I mean to

(37:46):
calm apps, some of you are listening to podcasts, some
of you are going to healing retreats. Whatever the vehicle
that you're using, it's going to take faith. It's going
to record whire you to remain committed when you don't
feel like it's working, because if you in therapy, there

(38:07):
are some sessions that's going to make you feel like
what the hell am I doing? Because it's going to
bring things up out of you that you didn't know
that were there. And there would be some things that
you would discover that you knew that was there, but
you forgot them or you overlook them and push them
to the back. And therapy is going to bring that

(38:27):
information to the front. But whatever you do, stay committed,
remain faithful to your journey. And I just want to say,
continue the journey, because healing is a journey and wholeness
is the destination. And I just want to say thank
you again to my brother Archie. Listen, this is his brand.
I wanted to wear his clothing this again. This shirt

(38:50):
feels amazing. Go to Bloomingdal's and support my brother. His
brand is not only represented of just great fashion, but
there's a message, mental health message to feed your brain
and to give your brain love. And I wanted to
say to man, I'm just brother, I'm so happy because

(39:11):
so I this is I'm gonna share this really quickly.
He told me when he was going to propose, and
I'd never seen a man eyes light up when he
was like, Bro, I'm about to propose. I'm about to
get married, bro. And I'm like, man, this dude is happy.
I'm like, man, I don't know what she put on
my good brother, but man, I'm like but I was

(39:31):
so happy for him, and he was like I mean,
I'd never seen a brother so happy man to get
married and man, that blessed me. Man that you found
your rear, you found your wife, and you found your
life partner. Man. Sure, so I wish many blessings on
you guys. A marriage man, and continue to grow brother,

(39:52):
which I know you will, and continue doing the good work.
I'm proud of you, black man. I'm proud of you.
Rush up this, sir, man. Listen, subscribe, don't just visit us, subscribe,
join this healing community because we are building healers, we're
building better people, we're building healthier mindset, and we're taking
people not only just from surviving, but we're taking them

(40:14):
to a place where they can thrive until next time.
Healing is a journey and wholeness is the destination. And
I'm your host, Doctor J. Barnett, And this is another
episode of Justhill with Doctor J powered by The Black
Effect and iHeart Podcast Network. Just Here with Doctor J,
a production of The Black Effect Podcast Network. For more

(40:37):
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
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