June 10, 2025 • 40 mins
In this episode of Just Heal with Dr. J, two-time NBA champion Josh Powell opens up about the power of emotional transparency, especially among men, and the hurdles they face when confronting their mental health. From navigating grief after the devastating loss of Kobe Bryant to redefining self-care and rebuilding personal relationships, Josh shares a deeply personal journey of healing and growth. Dr. J and Josh explore how healing isn’t a one-time event but an ongoing process—one that demands grace, patience, and vulnerability. This episode is a heartfelt reminder of the strength it takes to prioritize mental wellness and the transformative impact of doing the inner work. Tune in and join the conversation in the socials below.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to jess Hell with Doctor J, a production of
The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. What's Up, Healers,
Welcome back to another episode with jess Hell with Doctor J. Listen.
I'm excited to bring another conversation to you guys that's
going to provoke thought, and as you guys know, I
love to expand the mind of those that are listening
(00:23):
from our healing community, but also to give you the
opportunity to really develop some insight wherever you are in
your life. And I'm excited today that I get to
talk to a great brother, a great friend of mine,
a two year NBA champion from the Lost Angeles Lakers,
my favorite team, LA the Lake Show. And he was
(00:45):
also the teammate to one of my favorite players, Kobe Bryant.
And so I want to welcome to the healing community
my good brother and friend, Josh Powell. What's up? The
Brother's heading time to see men. I saw you tell
it all the time. I saw you last year, last year.
Closer around yeah, yeah, yeah close around this time, man,
(01:09):
yeah so closer. So man, Welcome to the healing community. Brother.
This podcast, as you know, is a sentiment of my
work and It is a sentiment of just my life journey.
And I love having these conversations. I practiced for a
number of years, but I think right now it's very
(01:31):
timely to bring some healing conversation that is going to
really challenge people to think and to bring some insight
and some enlightening. Man. So I just want to start
off this segment. Man, was just actually asking you not
how you're doing, but how you feeling. It was a
(01:51):
great question before we get started. Man, I got to
give your flowers. Man. I want to make sure I
do that first, man, because I love you. Brother of you. Man.
You're doing amazing work and really helping a lot of people. Man,
and you're you're doing it in such a big way. Man,
And I just pray God continue to bless you. Brothers.
That is something that I don't want to wait to do.
You know a lot of times they say, you know,
(02:13):
we gotta wait till something tragic act, whatever. But I'm
gonna make sure you get them now and continue to
do that because I tell you that all the time. Yeah.
But yeah, Man, I appreciate you to answer your question. Man,
I'm I look fine, but I'm not I'm not I'm tired, brother,
been dealing with you know, some things. But I'm on
the up and up and I'm positive and I keep
(02:36):
it moving. But I think that because so many things
continue to keep happening and I don't get a chance
to really address it, that is putting me in the
space of just not feeling because I'm on to the
next thing, because the next thing is already happened, you
(02:57):
know what I mean. So that's that's that's a true
transparent answer to your question. Man. You know, as you
were talking, Man, I appreciate your transparency, brother, because I
think transparency allows us to not just see people, but
(03:21):
see into people and see through them. And I don't
think we do enough of that because oftentimes when we
look at people, someone will look at you and look
at your physic, your two time NBA champion, you're six',
NINE i, mean you got a GREAT nba, career and
individuals and people on the outside will look at you and, says,
(03:42):
well what could be wrong with? Him? Correct but when you,
said as soon AS i get the opportunity to deal
with one, thing here comes to. Nothing when you think about,
that how has it impacted? You? Man? Emotional, oh, EMOTIONALLY
(04:04):
i feel that it takes its, toll BUT i also
feel that us as, men it's like that that's kind
of what comes with the. Car it's just what's in
the instruction. Manual you already get, it you. Know and
on one, end you feel like that's something that you
(04:25):
shouldn't necessarily have to concern yourself. With but on the other,
hand when you're talking about being the best version of,
yourself you understand that it's, detrimental like you have to
acknowledge you have to deal with the things that are
that are bothering you or that you're struggling. With so
that that's the part that is the continuous, journey you,
(04:46):
know especially when we're talking about, healing. Yo because WHAT
i want men to take away from this episode in,
particular is that if you don't take, control you want
to lose. Control subfert and most of us as men
often feel like we don't have time or that's not enough.
(05:09):
Time AND i feel that time is something that has
to be budgeted and budgeted in a way the same
as we budget our, money but budget in a way
that how DO i create pockets AND i may not
be able to sit there for an hour or two
(05:29):
because you got a family. Responsibility but how CAN i
create a moment WHERE i can just check in with?
Myself AND i would love for us as men to
really do more of, that because if you don't check,
In you're gonna check out and check it, out And
(05:53):
i'm just gonna be. Transparent it's. Easy in, FACT i
felt at times with my story my journey that check
it out was probably the best thing to do at
that time THAT i was. Thinking and As i'm reflecting
back on my two suicide attempts at this in particularly
for the second, ONE i, felt, MAN i can't take any.
(06:18):
More how do we get men to even feel that
they have permission to check? Out And i'm not talking
about checking out physically or causing. Harm that was my
thought or my experience at that time twelve years. Ago
(06:39):
but where you are, now how do we get men
to even, say, man how can you take a? Break
how can you? Pause you can't walk away from the,
family and can't you, know take days off as being
a father and a. Husband but what does that look?
Like that's a great. Question As i'm continuing to process,
(07:00):
that you, know one thing came to, mind LIKE i
know you talked about like checking out of hitting that pause,
button and it's, like for, Me i'm very capable of
acknowledging and understanding like Where i'm. AT i think that
there's guilt sometimes BECAUSE i feel LIKE i don't have
(07:24):
enough time in order to process or to try you
know What i'm. Saying so that's more my bigger. Struggle
BUT i do it not LIKE i definitely like AND
i said, this you, know two days, ago AND i
was just, like you, know tell telling my What i'm.
Like i'm. TIRED i feel That i'm not in a
great mental, space But i'm still showing up at a
(07:46):
two hundred. Percent so maybe for, YOU i look, normal
everything seems, normal but that's not the. Case SO i
will let her. Know but then it's LIKE i feel
some type of way sometimes When i'm not able to
really rasp or really feel LIKE i have that moment
to deal with. Something BUT i definitely make SURE i.
(08:07):
Do i've promised myself one time a day to do
something for. ME i love That i've promised myself, that
AND i feel like other other brothers should make that
promise to themselves, too because it is important sometimes to
acknowledge how you. Feel sometimes it might shed, weight, yeah,
(08:27):
right you might be able to do something where you
can kind of get some of that off of. You
and then in other, times which is also important, too
it's allowing the people that love you to know how
to deal with you or what's going on with you
during that, time because you can't do it by. Yourself,
No AND i don't advise anybody because to your, point
that's why so many men are having the struggles that they're,
(08:47):
having because we're internalizing and we're not allowing people to
see us for who we. Are. Yeah because WHEN i
don't allow you to see WHO i, AM i rob
you of WHO i really. Am and WHO i really
am is a person who is still yet, learning a
(09:08):
person who is still yet. Unpacking BECAUSE i think as
you enter this journey of, healing it's not. Linear AND
i often have to tell people you don't go to.
THERAPY i would have people coming to therapy and they, says, well,
GOD i only got a couple, months, MAN i need
to get this. Fixed AND i, said this could Make
(09:29):
this may take six, months some things may take nine.
Months but you have to be willing to commit to
the process and that process doesn't have a time limit on.
It AND i think AND i love what you said
about making sure you do one thing for yourself every,
day and it doesn't have to be. Grand it can
(09:51):
just be something as simple as, like, man MAYBE i
just need to go take a. Walk no, kids no,
wife no, Phone MAYBE i just need to, say you
know some brothers Who some brothers play video, game some
brothers want to read, books to watch a favorite. SHOW
i adopted the same thing because this is what happened
to me last. YEAR i was on. Tour who were
(10:14):
my Tour jessea bro three, years thirty six. Cities at
this time we were at thirty three cities AND i
had just spoken At Bishop Jake's Men's, conference and on,
STAGE i open up about something in my childhood about
how will you address the anger that you're holding and
(10:37):
anytime that you're, speaking and particularly for, men black, men
and specifically being, specific you have to allow them to
see the womb in order for them to see, themselves
and so on, STAGE i opened up this womb AND i,
said you have got to identify whether the anger came
(10:59):
FROM i, said here's what happened to me in. Therapy she,
said why are you? Angry where's that anger coming? From
what is it attached to? Good AND i just blurted
out AND i, said because he left my mom and
he married another woman who had three, kids and he
became this dad to them THAT i. Wanted AND i
(11:23):
said that on, stage and that thing shattered me AFTER
i got on. Stage, NOW i had to open this
up in order to free these other. People because when
you were healing, people you got to show the. Wounds
you have to show the wounds there now here is
the caveat. Today showing the wound also exposes other wounds
(11:47):
that you didn't know that were. Closed so in that,
moment the little boy became upset all over, again drove
me into a deep, depression drove me in and Again
i'm being, transparent drove me back into suicide. Ideation and
nobody knows. This this is first time this. YEAR i
checked myself into an institution In San diego Last october
(12:12):
In november BECAUSE i felt LIKE i didn't have time
to even process that because guess, what we had another
CITY i had to go to talk and help heal other.
Meeting so when you talk about not having time and
not having space and so fast forward To, december my
(12:34):
body shut completely. DOWN i was sick for an entire,
month developed, vertigo double ear. Infection literally felt LIKE i
had it was just LIKE i literally felt like. Death
AND i REMEMBER i have a black, doctor Doctor. Jill
BUT i want to say thank you to Doctor jill
(12:54):
for looking me in my eyes and said you have
got to make some. Changes AND i didn't realize THAT
i needed to stop pouring into others and start poor into.
Me AND i want people to catch. This sometimes you
have to turn that poor. Inward, absolutely what hasn't been
(13:17):
for you to turn their poor? Inwad i'm, smiling but
it's it's it's not, Funny BUT i resonate with what
you said so much because when people talk about the
journey of growth being like lonely and all of those,
(13:39):
things man like people will turn their back on you
when you're trying to become your best self and a
lot of times you're making efforts to grow and they
would prefer to see you as your old self or
maybe old, habits because some people aren't bad, people they
just got old, habits. Right AND i remember when you
(14:00):
know a small, thing like WHEN i had just got
baptized three years ago and making my commitment to The.
Creator and for, example i go to church on A Saturday,
saturday So i'm missing, Games i'm missing, Cheer i'm missing
all kind of moments with, family my, kids. Whatever AND
(14:23):
i felt that for a, minute But i'm also understanding
that this is something that's important to me AND i
had to put myself first and not feel, ashamed guilty
or anything else because of. That and IF i don't do,
that THEN i end up being that person Who i'm
(14:46):
gonna run out And i'm gonna be on, eat and
then that's gonna cause me to do something. Else And
i've always made sure again going back to WHAT i
told you, earlier LIKE i PROMISE i got to do
that one thing a. Journal Now i've created some new,
habits SO i. JOURNAL i try to at least read
(15:07):
a chapter a, day whether it's The, bible whether it's somebody's,
book no matter what it, Is i'll try to get
a chapter a. DAY i make sure the first thing
THAT i do in the morning IS i watch a
sermon or. Two LIKE i make SURE i take that
time working out. STRETCHING i don't care what it, Is
LIKE i have to do, that and that is what
(15:29):
has helped. Me even THOUGH i feel the way THAT i,
feel AS i told, YOU i feel that, numbness but
it's not numb to the point Where i'm ready to
act in a way that could be. Detrimental it's more
so just numbing and just, tired Because i'm, like, man
CAN i just get a day Where i'm not having
(15:50):
to address a text message or deal with something Like,
friday for, Example we're supposed, to you, know pick up my,
daughter AND i was blocked from getting my, daughter you
know What i'm. Saying AND i had to process that
BEFORE i left to go then show up for my,
(16:13):
family my, kids and do all of, that and it's
frustrating when you're just trying to be a, Father you're
just doing your part to be in your child's, life
and then you got to go through all of these
loops and everything else in order to be. That so
these are just those examples of me talking about how
everything's just piling up Because thursday was something, else you
(16:35):
know WHAT i, Mean and it's just always this. Thing
but in that, moment that's how it felt LIKE i
KNEW i was growing a little bit more BECAUSE i
actually Thank, god AND i was just, like, whatever WHATEVER
i was supposed to get out of. That you, Know
i'm hoping THAT i was able to do that BECAUSE
i wasn't like upset or the reaction THAT i might
(16:57):
have had a year or two. Ago it was LIKE
i had a quick moment and then it was over
it AND i was just, like you, know we'll deal
with it when we get, there. Y'all what what does
it mean though to? You because to be a present
father AND i know you, personally and to know the
(17:20):
work that you put into grow and, evolve and that
as a, man as a, father as a. Husband when
you have that experience where you're blocked from seeing your,
child you process, that but then what is that life
on the other side of processing. It it can be.
(17:44):
Painful i'm not gonna lie to, you BUT i think
that Because i've been going through this since my first
divorce and kind of experienced it prior to the, divorce
it's helped me to have more wisdom in those in those.
(18:09):
Moments and LIKE i told you, before AND i think
a lot of fathers feel. That, man it's that, guilt you,
know that pressure of you feel like you've let somebody
down or that you're not doing enough and all of,
that and we all can. GROW i could do, MORE
i could be better in Areas i'm never gonna say
(18:30):
That i've arrived, Ever but when you understand what's in
your control what's, not and then you really use those
moments to be at peace with yourself because that's a
part of your power. Too so the other thing That
i'm doing as well Is i'm taking my power back
by not allowing myself to be that way towards. Anybody
(18:52):
and another thing That i've done is And i'm saying
this to, you like in this, SPACE i still love.
THEM i have. To that was my, Choice SO i own.
That SO i can't be mad BECAUSE i got to
deal with. SOMETHING i just have to move differently As
(19:15):
i'm continuing to figure it out what that looks. Like
and that's where forgiveness and grace come, in because As
i'm on my spiritual, Walk i'm just hoping that all
the work That i'm putting, In i'll be able to
get that As i'm trying to make my way into.
Heaven so that is like always a thought for. ME
(19:36):
i can't BE i can't be mad and overly whatever
in that situation when you Know i'm, Growing i'm doing
the things That i'm, doing And i'm not, Perfect So
i'm sure there are things THAT i do to let
The creator down every. Day So i'm hoping that the
grace that The creator gives, ME i have to give
that same grace to my. CHILDREN i have to give
(19:57):
that same grace to their. Mothers listen WHEN i tell,
YOU i know what you just shared is going to
help some brothers out, there BECAUSE i think oftentimes what
happens is brothers become. Demented when you become demented and
you lose control, emotionally you lose sight of the objective
(20:19):
and you lose sight of what the overarching thing should
be absolutely and that is to always be the best
father that you can. Be you know WHAT i, Mean
whether you have a clear pathway or you have this
disconnect with THE x or with the partner or whomever
(20:43):
that you're just trying to navigate, through it can be very.
Challenging but What i'm hearing from you is that you
found a way to not only just embrace what the situation,
is because you're also found a way how to walk
it out AND i think a lot of men don't
know how to do that because they you, know because you,
(21:04):
can you, know you can get over the emotion about
that thing and just feel, like, MAN i need to
see my kids AND i want to see my, kids
and you can't do, this you can't do. That and
all of that is true and it's very. Valid, however
WHAT i want brothers to understand is what you just
Heard josh share is you have got to use wisdom
(21:27):
because the journey is not over and and and if
your child is under, eighteen they're still an opportunity to
even develop the relationship once a child is in a
place to where she or he can make their own.
Decisions AND i also think too that for for us
as you, know for us as, men but even for the,
(21:48):
women because this goes both. Ways like when you make
it about the, child then you know your your attentions
are in the right. Place but when you're doing, things
because there are some men out there that pull some
strings and do some shady, stuff like, you you can't
say that you love your kid or that you love.
Yourself that's my, perspective not my. Opinion i'm a stand on.
(22:09):
THAT a lot of people talk that, talk, Man but
when you really love, people then you then you'll love.
Freely love is not from a place of. Control so
When i'm doing those things and i'm moving away that i'm,
MOVING i always try to make sure THAT i remember,
that and then the thing that has helped me is
again coming back to that point of removing the. GUILT
(22:31):
i don't feel any kind of way Because i'm really
trying my best to show, up not just for the,
kids but even for the. Moms that's a package. Deal
SO i try to show up the best way THAT i.
Can and sometimes for some, individuals you might have to
love from, afar and loving from AFAR i might look
(22:54):
like writing, letters sending them text messages or whatever you
HAVE i have to, do because you also got to
remember how you feel as. Well that was the other
thing THAT i did, too BECAUSE i was dealing with
so many different. Emotions it was really it was it
was causing me to drown in a, sense and that's
what was also creating a lot of the pent up.
(23:16):
EMOTIONS i DON'T i don't want to say that those
emotions were just anger or bitterness or none of, that
BECAUSE i don't have that on my, spear BUT i
felt some type of, way but trying to make sure
THAT i didn't allow that to overcome or override WHO i,
was BECAUSE i still got to be present for. ME
(23:37):
i still got to be, present you, know for the
for the, MISSUS i still got to be present for
the other. CHILDREN i got to be president. Work there's
all of these different things THAT i have to be present.
At SO i have to find a way in order
to allow myself control over, me control WHAT i can
and just keep it. Moving. Yeah, man it's it's just so.
Enrich it's such a rich, conversation AND i am in
(24:02):
rich buy. It, uh just what you're. Sharing and WHAT
i love about. This we haven't talked about basketball now one.
Time and WHAT i love about this is because for
the people, watching he's more than a basketball. Player he's
more than just a teammate Of. Kobe he's more than
just his two. Championship this is a man who's on
a journey of, evolving on a journey who is, healing
(24:26):
who's yet navigating you, know and his own you, know
relationships and dynamic and SO i really, appreciate, uh that
you have shared. That you, KNOW i mean unapologetically you
know with me today now AND i have to actually
ask you, this which is a basketball or but more
(24:49):
of a sort of in depth conversation with the relationship
you BECAUSE i want to know how did you process
and if you, did or if it's that you still,
do how did you Grieve colee's? Passing But i'm still.
Processing i'm still. PROCESSING i MEAN i GOT i got
(25:13):
him In gigi tattooed on. Me, Yeah i'm Still i'm
still processing Because january twenty fifth is my. Birthday january
twenty sixth is when the incident. Happens so the forty
eight hours of being on the high and low is
(25:34):
serious and one of the, things like what happened with
him was, devastating but it's also was one of the
reasons WHY i was so frustrated with my situation because
you know how you hear people say, like don't, worry
you have, time they'll come. Around and you're talking about
(25:59):
somebody who was a, superhero an, icon like one of
the biggest players to play the, game and his impact
on the, game and his impact as a father and
a family man and a. Businessman he's not afforded that
(26:21):
his wife's not afforded that his kids aren't afforded. That
And i'm And i'm screaming to the mountaintop for my, kids, like,
man y'all wake, up like we gotta do this. Now
we got to figure our relationship out. Now, yeah you
know What i'm, Saying like that's the part that's WHEN
(26:42):
i do have these moments And i'm And i'm you,
know flashing back and just, thinking, no nobody's afforded. That
and and everybody's always quick to say AND i listen
for all my folks that do, SAID i know you mean.
WHERE i know you're coming from a great place of,
love but we're not afforded to be, Like, Manna i'm
(27:07):
gonna do this. Tomorrow you know you got today and
and and he's he won't be able to hold his,
grandkids walk his oldest daughter down the aisle. Whatever and
HERE i. Am you, KNOW i got seven, kids and
(27:28):
there's already you, know turmoil in some of these relationships
and it and it does pain. Me but Because i'm
doing the, work that's what. Helps you. KNOW i got
an eighteen year old. MAN i didn't go to her.
GRADUATION i didn't even know what she. GRADUATED i didn't even
know that she her mother took her and they. Left
(27:50):
you know What i'm, Saying like she's in college, now
supposedly like it's been four. Years that's me being, Transparent
but LIKE i. Don't there ain't nothing perfect about. Me
i'm always trying to be my best. Self. Man and
it's funny because you can touch all the hearts in the.
(28:11):
World but IF i could change places with that and
touch my, OWN i would take. That. YEAH i can
go into an, ELEMENTARY i can go into a middle.
SCHOOL i can go into a high. SCHOOL i can
talk to other. ATHLETES i can talk to CEOs and
big companies hell. BRO i can even go into a
(28:32):
prison in command a. Room BUT i can't get my
daughter to call me. BACK i can't GET i can't
get my daughter to text me. BACK i can't get you,
know some of my kids to be appreciative of. Me,
yeah for whatever. Reason and this Is i'm not playing
(28:54):
the big. Gal i'm just being being honest with. You
you know What i'm, saying because these are my experiences
AND i do try, again not, perfection but the other peak.
PRESENT i do. Try you know What i'm, Saying LIKE
i was talking to you before this. Start LIKE i
literally fresh off of a seven hour seven and some.
Change our ride comes straight. Here and that is to
(29:17):
top it over with my, brother Because i'm giving the.
Effort you feel, Me but those things it pains me
from time to, time and going back to talking, about you,
know everything with being that's a reminder to everybody in
this world that man had more, money he had more,
accent he had all of that and. Gone that still is. Heavy,
(29:45):
yeah it's still it's SOMETHING i remember WHERE i. Was
it's like one of those things where he. Talked my
grandparents obviously helped raise, me and THEN i was able
to be around you. Know and you've got to hear
them talk about how they remember that they Doctor king
passed and they can all step back into the moment
(30:07):
where they, were who they were with when they got the.
News and for most of them back, then it's like
you had a few people who had, feet had TVs and,
uh you know some people who heard the news suit
radio or you, know just through the. Town AND i
could step back in the moment and remember WHERE i
(30:28):
was at my niece's, graduate i mean birthday, party who
is a Huge kobe fan and And it's still something
THAT i try to process BECAUSE i now have an
understanding of what my grandparents felt When Doctor king. Passed
it's kind of the same feeling With kobe because it
(30:50):
was just like he was the epitome of, greatness and
he was the epitome of this. Superman you, know he
was a black. Mama you, know we we looked, at you,
know the moment that he tore's achilles and he went
to the free throw, line you, know and he still you,
know made both of his free. Throws it's like all
(31:10):
of these iconic moment moments that as former athletes and
you've been a, teammate that we can appreciate and just think, about, like,
man there are no, promises, lud there's no promises that
there's no. GUARANTEES i do feel like he's he's he
(31:30):
still talks to me, often and and you, KNOW i
look at WHEN i went to the, FUNERAL i remember
one of the seats THAT i had was wrote to seat,
eight If i'm not. Mistaken and even just, RECENTLY i
just did a book signing a crypto and they could
(31:53):
have put me anywhere else in that. Arena as soon
as you walk Into Kobe bryant interest able to set
up us right. There, Wow LIKE i can't script. That
there's nothing THAT i could literally, like there's NOTHING i
could say about that other than that's. Him. Wow because
we had A lakers, event Other lakers in the. Building,
(32:16):
YEAH i saw that right underneath The Kobe bryant entrance.
Boom our table was right, there as everybody's checking in
underneath that we are right. There SO i take those
moments just to to tell them thank, you you, know
(32:37):
AND i always pay homage and and and to. Him
it was crazy because in that, year AND i got
to salute my other brothers, too even though they're not,
here BUT i want to Say Anthony, grundy who was
my college, teammate he got murdered by an uncle that
a cookout shortly. After i'm not sure if you remember
(32:59):
or heard about Andre em that killed right in front
of His so all of this happened and Then. Kobe
all of this happened within like a couple of. Months
AND i literally SO i put them on the same
hands As Cole and it was just, LIKE i don't
even think you're talking about something that happened what four years,
(33:22):
ago three, years four years, AGO i still haven't had
the chance to truly process because of everything else that's
still going. On so one of the questions THAT i, asked,
man And i'm taking a breath Because i'm taking in
(33:44):
everything that you're. Saying one of the QUESTIONS i asked
every guest and ask, it how do you? Feel what
does healing? Means, josh somewhere you're going but not there.
(34:10):
Yet and from my, LENS i personally feel that no
one will ever be completely, healed but they will make
huge strides at. It, yeah because there's too much that
(34:32):
we deal. With right when you're talking about unpacking childhood,
trauma what was your relationship like with your? Parents who
were the first two people that you? Loved was paved
the way for everything? Else what tragedies have happened along the,
Way what relationships have you gone? Through like there's a lot.
There when did you start? Therapy most of, us And
(34:52):
i'm sure you know the number better than, me BUT
i would assume that most, men especially black, men they
probably don't make an attempt until thirty and. Older i'm probably.
Wrong you know better than. Me that's a good BUT
i don't think. That so then when you started thirty
(35:14):
you're trying to unpack thirty years and then wherever you're.
Going SO i just feel like it's on the. Way
you'll never get, there but you'll definitely you'll make a
great crack at. It AND i feel like that's all
we can, do, yes and be honest with ourselves about
(35:37):
that was because that's. Why And i've heard you said you,
know AND i know we've talked about. It but it's
a continuous. Journey but, unfortunately some people feel like they've
gotten to this point because you can handle an uncle
better than you did, before not realizing that the cousin
(35:58):
gonna test. You come, on it's such you know What i'm,
Saying and or you might have had that one relationship
where OH i was faithful here until you got into
another situation there that then you. Unraveled so and that's
a part of my, transparency, Right Like I'm i'm a
(36:19):
married man AND i struggle with my. Flesh so what
we talked about, EARLIER i could be honest about. That,
Yeah i'm not finna put on it at LIKE i
got it all. TOGETHER i know none of. That my
old lady knows what TIME i be. On, like But
she's been there to be supportive of me continuously making these.
Strides And i've done. That i've done so much. Better
(36:42):
SO i have grown that that is a big struggle for.
Me now where's that stem? From we go back? Childhood. Yeah.
Yeah so then WHEN i actually started to focus in on,
THAT i was thirty. Five. Wow, yeah and you WHEN
i started in, fact so and you know WHAT i, mean,
(37:02):
like that's that's the days every. Journey. Yeah and then
to unpack, it, man it's you, know you, know we
get you, know Unra, yeah, man we get a dressed another. Episode.
Man BUT i want to say to you, brother from
one black man to another from my, brother, uh is
That i'm proud of you black. MAN i appreciate. That
(37:25):
LIKE i mean, that, Man i'm proud of the strides
that you are making And i'm proud of the man
that you are yet. Becoming but you, know when we
talk and when we, connect it's always about, life is.
NOT i mean even when you called me last, year
you was, like, hey got this, Opportunity and for, me
(37:45):
it wasn't like the relationships THAT i have with whether
somebody a celebrity or, whatever whatever their status. Is, man
it's It's my relationships are built on how CAN i
add value to? You and the value that you've added
to me is a. Brother the value that you've added
(38:05):
to me is another opportunity to have space as former
athletes too tall to, grow you know WHAT i, mean to,
connect but then also to, expand BECAUSE i feel like
we don't do that enough as. Men most of our
conversations are here and we don't have these types of
conversations because these types of conversations as why as you,
(38:29):
expanded it also requires. Death it's SO i want to just, say,
man thank you for sharing this time and sharing the
space with. Me AND i love what you said that
healing is where you're going but not there. Yet and
maybe you're on your healing journey and you're trying to
(38:52):
get there in a. Hurry and IF i can be
honest with, you there is no you, know quick pathway to.
Healing it's truly a, journey and the journey is however
low it takes you to get. There and As josh,
said we'll never be fully completely. Healed but AS i
say in, closing healing is a journey and wholeness is the.
(39:19):
Destination and until next time to all of my healers
that are part of the healing. Community keep. Healing and
WHEN i say keep, Healing i'm talking about keep, growing keep,
evolving keep. Unpacking BUT i want to leave you with,
this keep appreciating the process that you're, making because sometime
(39:39):
we can get on this journey and it's like we're
just looking at everything THAT i gotta do, THIS i
gotta do, THAT i need to address, that but appreciate
the shrids that you have made. Made and, so my brother,
man thank. YOU i love you, man And i'm Just
i'm proud of, you, brother because again you are helping
me as much As i'm helping. You and iron sharpens.
(40:01):
Iron but remember, this it has to touch the, metal
so they gotta touch. Metal so, again you have just
Watched Just heal With DOCTOR j with my great brother
and great, friend two TIME nba Champion Josh. Paul Just
here With DOCTOR, j a production of The Black effect Podcast.
Network for more podcasts From, iHeartRadio visit The iHeartRadio, App Apple,
(40:25):
podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite, shows and
you can follow me At KING. J barnett On instagram
and x and follow us on. YouTube just, heal DOCTOR.
J
Welcome to jess Hell with Doctor J, a production of
The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. What's Up, Healers,
Welcome back to another episode with jess Hell with Doctor J. Listen.
I'm excited to bring another conversation to you guys that's
going to provoke thought, and as you guys know, I
love to expand the mind of those that are listening
(00:23):
from our healing community, but also to give you the
opportunity to really develop some insight wherever you are in
your life. And I'm excited today that I get to
talk to a great brother, a great friend of mine,
a two year NBA champion from the Lost Angeles Lakers,
my favorite team, LA the Lake Show. And he was
(00:45):
also the teammate to one of my favorite players, Kobe Bryant.
And so I want to welcome to the healing community
my good brother and friend, Josh Powell. What's up? The
Brother's heading time to see men. I saw you tell
it all the time. I saw you last year, last year.
Closer around yeah, yeah, yeah close around this time, man,
(01:09):
yeah so closer. So man, Welcome to the healing community. Brother.
This podcast, as you know, is a sentiment of my
work and It is a sentiment of just my life journey.
And I love having these conversations. I practiced for a
number of years, but I think right now it's very
(01:31):
timely to bring some healing conversation that is going to
really challenge people to think and to bring some insight
and some enlightening. Man. So I just want to start
off this segment. Man, was just actually asking you not
how you're doing, but how you feeling. It was a
(01:51):
great question before we get started. Man, I got to
give your flowers. Man. I want to make sure I
do that first, man, because I love you. Brother of you. Man.
You're doing amazing work and really helping a lot of people. Man,
and you're you're doing it in such a big way. Man,
And I just pray God continue to bless you. Brothers.
That is something that I don't want to wait to do.
You know a lot of times they say, you know,
(02:13):
we gotta wait till something tragic act, whatever. But I'm
gonna make sure you get them now and continue to
do that because I tell you that all the time. Yeah.
But yeah, Man, I appreciate you to answer your question. Man,
I'm I look fine, but I'm not I'm not I'm tired, brother,
been dealing with you know, some things. But I'm on
the up and up and I'm positive and I keep
(02:36):
it moving. But I think that because so many things
continue to keep happening and I don't get a chance
to really address it, that is putting me in the
space of just not feeling because I'm on to the
next thing, because the next thing is already happened, you
(02:57):
know what I mean. So that's that's that's a true
transparent answer to your question. Man. You know, as you
were talking, Man, I appreciate your transparency, brother, because I
think transparency allows us to not just see people, but
(03:21):
see into people and see through them. And I don't
think we do enough of that because oftentimes when we
look at people, someone will look at you and look
at your physic, your two time NBA champion, you're six',
NINE i, mean you got a GREAT nba, career and
individuals and people on the outside will look at you and, says,
(03:42):
well what could be wrong with? Him? Correct but when you,
said as soon AS i get the opportunity to deal
with one, thing here comes to. Nothing when you think about,
that how has it impacted? You? Man? Emotional, oh, EMOTIONALLY
(04:04):
i feel that it takes its, toll BUT i also
feel that us as, men it's like that that's kind
of what comes with the. Car it's just what's in
the instruction. Manual you already get, it you. Know and
on one, end you feel like that's something that you
(04:25):
shouldn't necessarily have to concern yourself. With but on the other,
hand when you're talking about being the best version of,
yourself you understand that it's, detrimental like you have to
acknowledge you have to deal with the things that are
that are bothering you or that you're struggling. With so
that that's the part that is the continuous, journey you,
(04:46):
know especially when we're talking about, healing. Yo because WHAT
i want men to take away from this episode in,
particular is that if you don't take, control you want
to lose. Control subfert and most of us as men
often feel like we don't have time or that's not enough.
(05:09):
Time AND i feel that time is something that has
to be budgeted and budgeted in a way the same
as we budget our, money but budget in a way
that how DO i create pockets AND i may not
be able to sit there for an hour or two
(05:29):
because you got a family. Responsibility but how CAN i
create a moment WHERE i can just check in with?
Myself AND i would love for us as men to
really do more of, that because if you don't check,
In you're gonna check out and check it, out And
(05:53):
i'm just gonna be. Transparent it's. Easy in, FACT i
felt at times with my story my journey that check
it out was probably the best thing to do at
that time THAT i was. Thinking and As i'm reflecting
back on my two suicide attempts at this in particularly
for the second, ONE i, felt, MAN i can't take any.
(06:18):
More how do we get men to even feel that
they have permission to check? Out And i'm not talking
about checking out physically or causing. Harm that was my
thought or my experience at that time twelve years. Ago
(06:39):
but where you are, now how do we get men
to even, say, man how can you take a? Break
how can you? Pause you can't walk away from the,
family and can't you, know take days off as being
a father and a. Husband but what does that look?
Like that's a great. Question As i'm continuing to process,
(07:00):
that you, know one thing came to, mind LIKE i
know you talked about like checking out of hitting that pause,
button and it's, like for, Me i'm very capable of
acknowledging and understanding like Where i'm. AT i think that
there's guilt sometimes BECAUSE i feel LIKE i don't have
(07:24):
enough time in order to process or to try you
know What i'm. Saying so that's more my bigger. Struggle
BUT i do it not LIKE i definitely like AND
i said, this you, know two days, ago AND i
was just, like you, know tell telling my What i'm.
Like i'm. TIRED i feel That i'm not in a
great mental, space But i'm still showing up at a
(07:46):
two hundred. Percent so maybe for, YOU i look, normal
everything seems, normal but that's not the. Case SO i
will let her. Know but then it's LIKE i feel
some type of way sometimes When i'm not able to
really rasp or really feel LIKE i have that moment
to deal with. Something BUT i definitely make SURE i.
(08:07):
Do i've promised myself one time a day to do
something for. ME i love That i've promised myself, that
AND i feel like other other brothers should make that
promise to themselves, too because it is important sometimes to
acknowledge how you. Feel sometimes it might shed, weight, yeah,
(08:27):
right you might be able to do something where you
can kind of get some of that off of. You
and then in other, times which is also important, too
it's allowing the people that love you to know how
to deal with you or what's going on with you
during that, time because you can't do it by. Yourself,
No AND i don't advise anybody because to your, point
that's why so many men are having the struggles that they're,
(08:47):
having because we're internalizing and we're not allowing people to
see us for who we. Are. Yeah because WHEN i
don't allow you to see WHO i, AM i rob
you of WHO i really. Am and WHO i really
am is a person who is still yet, learning a
(09:08):
person who is still yet. Unpacking BECAUSE i think as
you enter this journey of, healing it's not. Linear AND
i often have to tell people you don't go to.
THERAPY i would have people coming to therapy and they, says, well,
GOD i only got a couple, months, MAN i need
to get this. Fixed AND i, said this could Make
(09:29):
this may take six, months some things may take nine.
Months but you have to be willing to commit to
the process and that process doesn't have a time limit on.
It AND i think AND i love what you said
about making sure you do one thing for yourself every,
day and it doesn't have to be. Grand it can
(09:51):
just be something as simple as, like, man MAYBE i
just need to go take a. Walk no, kids no,
wife no, Phone MAYBE i just need to, say you
know some brothers Who some brothers play video, game some
brothers want to read, books to watch a favorite. SHOW
i adopted the same thing because this is what happened
to me last. YEAR i was on. Tour who were
(10:14):
my Tour jessea bro three, years thirty six. Cities at
this time we were at thirty three cities AND i
had just spoken At Bishop Jake's Men's, conference and on,
STAGE i open up about something in my childhood about
how will you address the anger that you're holding and
(10:37):
anytime that you're, speaking and particularly for, men black, men
and specifically being, specific you have to allow them to
see the womb in order for them to see, themselves
and so on, STAGE i opened up this womb AND i,
said you have got to identify whether the anger came
(10:59):
FROM i, said here's what happened to me in. Therapy she,
said why are you? Angry where's that anger coming? From
what is it attached to? Good AND i just blurted
out AND i, said because he left my mom and
he married another woman who had three, kids and he
became this dad to them THAT i. Wanted AND i
(11:23):
said that on, stage and that thing shattered me AFTER
i got on. Stage, NOW i had to open this
up in order to free these other. People because when
you were healing, people you got to show the. Wounds
you have to show the wounds there now here is
the caveat. Today showing the wound also exposes other wounds
(11:47):
that you didn't know that were. Closed so in that,
moment the little boy became upset all over, again drove
me into a deep, depression drove me in and Again
i'm being, transparent drove me back into suicide. Ideation and
nobody knows. This this is first time this. YEAR i
checked myself into an institution In San diego Last october
(12:12):
In november BECAUSE i felt LIKE i didn't have time
to even process that because guess, what we had another
CITY i had to go to talk and help heal other.
Meeting so when you talk about not having time and
not having space and so fast forward To, december my
(12:34):
body shut completely. DOWN i was sick for an entire,
month developed, vertigo double ear. Infection literally felt LIKE i
had it was just LIKE i literally felt like. Death
AND i REMEMBER i have a black, doctor Doctor. Jill
BUT i want to say thank you to Doctor jill
(12:54):
for looking me in my eyes and said you have
got to make some. Changes AND i didn't realize THAT
i needed to stop pouring into others and start poor into.
Me AND i want people to catch. This sometimes you
have to turn that poor. Inward, absolutely what hasn't been
(13:17):
for you to turn their poor? Inwad i'm, smiling but
it's it's it's not, Funny BUT i resonate with what
you said so much because when people talk about the
journey of growth being like lonely and all of those,
(13:39):
things man like people will turn their back on you
when you're trying to become your best self and a
lot of times you're making efforts to grow and they
would prefer to see you as your old self or
maybe old, habits because some people aren't bad, people they
just got old, habits. Right AND i remember when you
(14:00):
know a small, thing like WHEN i had just got
baptized three years ago and making my commitment to The.
Creator and for, example i go to church on A Saturday,
saturday So i'm missing, Games i'm missing, Cheer i'm missing
all kind of moments with, family my, kids. Whatever AND
(14:23):
i felt that for a, minute But i'm also understanding
that this is something that's important to me AND i
had to put myself first and not feel, ashamed guilty
or anything else because of. That and IF i don't do,
that THEN i end up being that person Who i'm
(14:46):
gonna run out And i'm gonna be on, eat and
then that's gonna cause me to do something. Else And
i've always made sure again going back to WHAT i
told you, earlier LIKE i PROMISE i got to do
that one thing a. Journal Now i've created some new,
habits SO i. JOURNAL i try to at least read
(15:07):
a chapter a, day whether it's The, bible whether it's somebody's,
book no matter what it, Is i'll try to get
a chapter a. DAY i make sure the first thing
THAT i do in the morning IS i watch a
sermon or. Two LIKE i make SURE i take that
time working out. STRETCHING i don't care what it, Is
LIKE i have to do, that and that is what
(15:29):
has helped. Me even THOUGH i feel the way THAT i,
feel AS i told, YOU i feel that, numbness but
it's not numb to the point Where i'm ready to
act in a way that could be. Detrimental it's more
so just numbing and just, tired Because i'm, like, man
CAN i just get a day Where i'm not having
(15:50):
to address a text message or deal with something Like,
friday for, Example we're supposed, to you, know pick up my,
daughter AND i was blocked from getting my, daughter you
know What i'm. Saying AND i had to process that
BEFORE i left to go then show up for my,
(16:13):
family my, kids and do all of, that and it's
frustrating when you're just trying to be a, Father you're
just doing your part to be in your child's, life
and then you got to go through all of these
loops and everything else in order to be. That so
these are just those examples of me talking about how
everything's just piling up Because thursday was something, else you
(16:35):
know WHAT i, Mean and it's just always this. Thing
but in that, moment that's how it felt LIKE i
KNEW i was growing a little bit more BECAUSE i
actually Thank, god AND i was just, like, whatever WHATEVER
i was supposed to get out of. That you, Know
i'm hoping THAT i was able to do that BECAUSE
i wasn't like upset or the reaction THAT i might
(16:57):
have had a year or two. Ago it was LIKE
i had a quick moment and then it was over
it AND i was just, like you, know we'll deal
with it when we get, there. Y'all what what does
it mean though to? You because to be a present
father AND i know you, personally and to know the
(17:20):
work that you put into grow and, evolve and that
as a, man as a, father as a. Husband when
you have that experience where you're blocked from seeing your,
child you process, that but then what is that life
on the other side of processing. It it can be.
(17:44):
Painful i'm not gonna lie to, you BUT i think
that Because i've been going through this since my first
divorce and kind of experienced it prior to the, divorce
it's helped me to have more wisdom in those in those.
(18:09):
Moments and LIKE i told you, before AND i think
a lot of fathers feel. That, man it's that, guilt you,
know that pressure of you feel like you've let somebody
down or that you're not doing enough and all of,
that and we all can. GROW i could do, MORE
i could be better in Areas i'm never gonna say
(18:30):
That i've arrived, Ever but when you understand what's in
your control what's, not and then you really use those
moments to be at peace with yourself because that's a
part of your power. Too so the other thing That
i'm doing as well Is i'm taking my power back
by not allowing myself to be that way towards. Anybody
(18:52):
and another thing That i've done is And i'm saying
this to, you like in this, SPACE i still love.
THEM i have. To that was my, Choice SO i own.
That SO i can't be mad BECAUSE i got to
deal with. SOMETHING i just have to move differently As
(19:15):
i'm continuing to figure it out what that looks. Like
and that's where forgiveness and grace come, in because As
i'm on my spiritual, Walk i'm just hoping that all
the work That i'm putting, In i'll be able to
get that As i'm trying to make my way into.
Heaven so that is like always a thought for. ME
(19:36):
i can't BE i can't be mad and overly whatever
in that situation when you Know i'm, Growing i'm doing
the things That i'm, doing And i'm not, Perfect So
i'm sure there are things THAT i do to let
The creator down every. Day So i'm hoping that the
grace that The creator gives, ME i have to give
that same grace to my. CHILDREN i have to give
(19:57):
that same grace to their. Mothers listen WHEN i tell,
YOU i know what you just shared is going to
help some brothers out, there BECAUSE i think oftentimes what
happens is brothers become. Demented when you become demented and
you lose control, emotionally you lose sight of the objective
(20:19):
and you lose sight of what the overarching thing should
be absolutely and that is to always be the best
father that you can. Be you know WHAT i, Mean
whether you have a clear pathway or you have this
disconnect with THE x or with the partner or whomever
(20:43):
that you're just trying to navigate, through it can be very.
Challenging but What i'm hearing from you is that you
found a way to not only just embrace what the situation,
is because you're also found a way how to walk
it out AND i think a lot of men don't
know how to do that because they you, know because you,
(21:04):
can you, know you can get over the emotion about
that thing and just feel, like, MAN i need to
see my kids AND i want to see my, kids
and you can't do, this you can't do. That and
all of that is true and it's very. Valid, however
WHAT i want brothers to understand is what you just
Heard josh share is you have got to use wisdom
(21:27):
because the journey is not over and and and if
your child is under, eighteen they're still an opportunity to
even develop the relationship once a child is in a
place to where she or he can make their own.
Decisions AND i also think too that for for us
as you, know for us as, men but even for the,
(21:48):
women because this goes both. Ways like when you make
it about the, child then you know your your attentions
are in the right. Place but when you're doing, things
because there are some men out there that pull some
strings and do some shady, stuff like, you you can't
say that you love your kid or that you love.
Yourself that's my, perspective not my. Opinion i'm a stand on.
(22:09):
THAT a lot of people talk that, talk, Man but
when you really love, people then you then you'll love.
Freely love is not from a place of. Control so
When i'm doing those things and i'm moving away that i'm,
MOVING i always try to make sure THAT i remember,
that and then the thing that has helped me is
again coming back to that point of removing the. GUILT
(22:31):
i don't feel any kind of way Because i'm really
trying my best to show, up not just for the,
kids but even for the. Moms that's a package. Deal
SO i try to show up the best way THAT i.
Can and sometimes for some, individuals you might have to
love from, afar and loving from AFAR i might look
(22:54):
like writing, letters sending them text messages or whatever you
HAVE i have to, do because you also got to
remember how you feel as. Well that was the other
thing THAT i did, too BECAUSE i was dealing with
so many different. Emotions it was really it was it
was causing me to drown in a, sense and that's
what was also creating a lot of the pent up.
(23:16):
EMOTIONS i DON'T i don't want to say that those
emotions were just anger or bitterness or none of, that
BECAUSE i don't have that on my, spear BUT i
felt some type of, way but trying to make sure
THAT i didn't allow that to overcome or override WHO i,
was BECAUSE i still got to be present for. ME
(23:37):
i still got to be, present you, know for the
for the, MISSUS i still got to be present for
the other. CHILDREN i got to be president. Work there's
all of these different things THAT i have to be present.
At SO i have to find a way in order
to allow myself control over, me control WHAT i can
and just keep it. Moving. Yeah, man it's it's just so.
Enrich it's such a rich, conversation AND i am in
(24:02):
rich buy. It, uh just what you're. Sharing and WHAT
i love about. This we haven't talked about basketball now one.
Time and WHAT i love about this is because for
the people, watching he's more than a basketball. Player he's
more than just a teammate Of. Kobe he's more than
just his two. Championship this is a man who's on
a journey of, evolving on a journey who is, healing
(24:26):
who's yet navigating you, know and his own you, know
relationships and dynamic and SO i really, appreciate, uh that
you have shared. That you, KNOW i mean unapologetically you
know with me today now AND i have to actually
ask you, this which is a basketball or but more
(24:49):
of a sort of in depth conversation with the relationship
you BECAUSE i want to know how did you process
and if you, did or if it's that you still,
do how did you Grieve colee's? Passing But i'm still.
Processing i'm still. PROCESSING i MEAN i GOT i got
(25:13):
him In gigi tattooed on. Me, Yeah i'm Still i'm
still processing Because january twenty fifth is my. Birthday january
twenty sixth is when the incident. Happens so the forty
eight hours of being on the high and low is
(25:34):
serious and one of the, things like what happened with
him was, devastating but it's also was one of the
reasons WHY i was so frustrated with my situation because
you know how you hear people say, like don't, worry
you have, time they'll come. Around and you're talking about
(25:59):
somebody who was a, superhero an, icon like one of
the biggest players to play the, game and his impact
on the, game and his impact as a father and
a family man and a. Businessman he's not afforded that
(26:21):
his wife's not afforded that his kids aren't afforded. That
And i'm And i'm screaming to the mountaintop for my, kids, like,
man y'all wake, up like we gotta do this. Now
we got to figure our relationship out. Now, yeah you
know What i'm, Saying like that's the part that's WHEN
(26:42):
i do have these moments And i'm And i'm you,
know flashing back and just, thinking, no nobody's afforded. That
and and everybody's always quick to say AND i listen
for all my folks that do, SAID i know you mean.
WHERE i know you're coming from a great place of,
love but we're not afforded to be, Like, Manna i'm
(27:07):
gonna do this. Tomorrow you know you got today and
and and he's he won't be able to hold his,
grandkids walk his oldest daughter down the aisle. Whatever and
HERE i. Am you, KNOW i got seven, kids and
(27:28):
there's already you, know turmoil in some of these relationships
and it and it does pain. Me but Because i'm
doing the, work that's what. Helps you. KNOW i got
an eighteen year old. MAN i didn't go to her.
GRADUATION i didn't even know what she. GRADUATED i didn't even
know that she her mother took her and they. Left
(27:50):
you know What i'm, Saying like she's in college, now
supposedly like it's been four. Years that's me being, Transparent
but LIKE i. Don't there ain't nothing perfect about. Me
i'm always trying to be my best. Self. Man and
it's funny because you can touch all the hearts in the.
(28:11):
World but IF i could change places with that and
touch my, OWN i would take. That. YEAH i can
go into an, ELEMENTARY i can go into a middle.
SCHOOL i can go into a high. SCHOOL i can
talk to other. ATHLETES i can talk to CEOs and
big companies hell. BRO i can even go into a
(28:32):
prison in command a. Room BUT i can't get my
daughter to call me. BACK i can't GET i can't
get my daughter to text me. BACK i can't get you,
know some of my kids to be appreciative of. Me,
yeah for whatever. Reason and this Is i'm not playing
(28:54):
the big. Gal i'm just being being honest with. You
you know What i'm, saying because these are my experiences
AND i do try, again not, perfection but the other peak.
PRESENT i do. Try you know What i'm, Saying LIKE
i was talking to you before this. Start LIKE i
literally fresh off of a seven hour seven and some.
Change our ride comes straight. Here and that is to
(29:17):
top it over with my, brother Because i'm giving the.
Effort you feel, Me but those things it pains me
from time to, time and going back to talking, about you,
know everything with being that's a reminder to everybody in
this world that man had more, money he had more,
accent he had all of that and. Gone that still is. Heavy,
(29:45):
yeah it's still it's SOMETHING i remember WHERE i. Was
it's like one of those things where he. Talked my
grandparents obviously helped raise, me and THEN i was able
to be around you. Know and you've got to hear
them talk about how they remember that they Doctor king
passed and they can all step back into the moment
(30:07):
where they, were who they were with when they got the.
News and for most of them back, then it's like
you had a few people who had, feet had TVs and,
uh you know some people who heard the news suit
radio or you, know just through the. Town AND i
could step back in the moment and remember WHERE i
(30:28):
was at my niece's, graduate i mean birthday, party who
is a Huge kobe fan and And it's still something
THAT i try to process BECAUSE i now have an
understanding of what my grandparents felt When Doctor king. Passed
it's kind of the same feeling With kobe because it
(30:50):
was just like he was the epitome of, greatness and
he was the epitome of this. Superman you, know he
was a black. Mama you, know we we looked, at you,
know the moment that he tore's achilles and he went
to the free throw, line you, know and he still you,
know made both of his free. Throws it's like all
(31:10):
of these iconic moment moments that as former athletes and
you've been a, teammate that we can appreciate and just think, about, like,
man there are no, promises, lud there's no promises that
there's no. GUARANTEES i do feel like he's he's he
(31:30):
still talks to me, often and and you, KNOW i
look at WHEN i went to the, FUNERAL i remember
one of the seats THAT i had was wrote to seat,
eight If i'm not. Mistaken and even just, RECENTLY i
just did a book signing a crypto and they could
(31:53):
have put me anywhere else in that. Arena as soon
as you walk Into Kobe bryant interest able to set
up us right. There, Wow LIKE i can't script. That
there's nothing THAT i could literally, like there's NOTHING i
could say about that other than that's. Him. Wow because
we had A lakers, event Other lakers in the. Building,
(32:16):
YEAH i saw that right underneath The Kobe bryant entrance.
Boom our table was right, there as everybody's checking in
underneath that we are right. There SO i take those
moments just to to tell them thank, you you, know
(32:37):
AND i always pay homage and and and to. Him
it was crazy because in that, year AND i got
to salute my other brothers, too even though they're not,
here BUT i want to Say Anthony, grundy who was
my college, teammate he got murdered by an uncle that
a cookout shortly. After i'm not sure if you remember
(32:59):
or heard about Andre em that killed right in front
of His so all of this happened and Then. Kobe
all of this happened within like a couple of. Months
AND i literally SO i put them on the same
hands As Cole and it was just, LIKE i don't
even think you're talking about something that happened what four years,
(33:22):
ago three, years four years, AGO i still haven't had
the chance to truly process because of everything else that's
still going. On so one of the questions THAT i, asked,
man And i'm taking a breath Because i'm taking in
(33:44):
everything that you're. Saying one of the QUESTIONS i asked
every guest and ask, it how do you? Feel what
does healing? Means, josh somewhere you're going but not there.
(34:10):
Yet and from my, LENS i personally feel that no
one will ever be completely, healed but they will make
huge strides at. It, yeah because there's too much that
(34:32):
we deal. With right when you're talking about unpacking childhood,
trauma what was your relationship like with your? Parents who
were the first two people that you? Loved was paved
the way for everything? Else what tragedies have happened along the,
Way what relationships have you gone? Through like there's a lot.
There when did you start? Therapy most of, us And
(34:52):
i'm sure you know the number better than, me BUT
i would assume that most, men especially black, men they
probably don't make an attempt until thirty and. Older i'm probably.
Wrong you know better than. Me that's a good BUT
i don't think. That so then when you started thirty
(35:14):
you're trying to unpack thirty years and then wherever you're.
Going SO i just feel like it's on the. Way
you'll never get, there but you'll definitely you'll make a
great crack at. It AND i feel like that's all
we can, do, yes and be honest with ourselves about
(35:37):
that was because that's. Why And i've heard you said you,
know AND i know we've talked about. It but it's
a continuous. Journey but, unfortunately some people feel like they've
gotten to this point because you can handle an uncle
better than you did, before not realizing that the cousin
(35:58):
gonna test. You come, on it's such you know What i'm,
Saying and or you might have had that one relationship
where OH i was faithful here until you got into
another situation there that then you. Unraveled so and that's
a part of my, transparency, Right Like I'm i'm a
(36:19):
married man AND i struggle with my. Flesh so what
we talked about, EARLIER i could be honest about. That,
Yeah i'm not finna put on it at LIKE i
got it all. TOGETHER i know none of. That my
old lady knows what TIME i be. On, like But
she's been there to be supportive of me continuously making these.
Strides And i've done. That i've done so much. Better
(36:42):
SO i have grown that that is a big struggle for.
Me now where's that stem? From we go back? Childhood. Yeah.
Yeah so then WHEN i actually started to focus in on,
THAT i was thirty. Five. Wow, yeah and you WHEN
i started in, fact so and you know WHAT i, mean,
(37:02):
like that's that's the days every. Journey. Yeah and then
to unpack, it, man it's you, know you, know we
get you, know Unra, yeah, man we get a dressed another. Episode.
Man BUT i want to say to you, brother from
one black man to another from my, brother, uh is
That i'm proud of you black. MAN i appreciate. That
(37:25):
LIKE i mean, that, Man i'm proud of the strides
that you are making And i'm proud of the man
that you are yet. Becoming but you, know when we
talk and when we, connect it's always about, life is.
NOT i mean even when you called me last, year
you was, like, hey got this, Opportunity and for, me
(37:45):
it wasn't like the relationships THAT i have with whether
somebody a celebrity or, whatever whatever their status. Is, man
it's It's my relationships are built on how CAN i
add value to? You and the value that you've added
to me is a. Brother the value that you've added
(38:05):
to me is another opportunity to have space as former
athletes too tall to, grow you know WHAT i, mean to,
connect but then also to, expand BECAUSE i feel like
we don't do that enough as. Men most of our
conversations are here and we don't have these types of
conversations because these types of conversations as why as you,
(38:29):
expanded it also requires. Death it's SO i want to just, say,
man thank you for sharing this time and sharing the
space with. Me AND i love what you said that
healing is where you're going but not there. Yet and
maybe you're on your healing journey and you're trying to
(38:52):
get there in a. Hurry and IF i can be
honest with, you there is no you, know quick pathway to.
Healing it's truly a, journey and the journey is however
low it takes you to get. There and As josh,
said we'll never be fully completely. Healed but AS i
say in, closing healing is a journey and wholeness is the.
(39:19):
Destination and until next time to all of my healers
that are part of the healing. Community keep. Healing and
WHEN i say keep, Healing i'm talking about keep, growing keep,
evolving keep. Unpacking BUT i want to leave you with,
this keep appreciating the process that you're, making because sometime
(39:39):
we can get on this journey and it's like we're
just looking at everything THAT i gotta do, THIS i
gotta do, THAT i need to address, that but appreciate
the shrids that you have made. Made and, so my brother,
man thank. YOU i love you, man And i'm Just
i'm proud of, you, brother because again you are helping
me as much As i'm helping. You and iron sharpens.
(40:01):
Iron but remember, this it has to touch the, metal
so they gotta touch. Metal so, again you have just
Watched Just heal With DOCTOR j with my great brother
and great, friend two TIME nba Champion Josh. Paul Just
here With DOCTOR, j a production of The Black effect Podcast.
Network for more podcasts From, iHeartRadio visit The iHeartRadio, App Apple,
(40:25):
podcasts or wherever you listen to your favorite, shows and
you can follow me At KING. J barnett On instagram
and x and follow us on. YouTube just, heal DOCTOR.
J
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