October 13, 2022 • 36 mins
In this episode Sammy Jaye chats with violinist, songwriter and dancer Lindsey Stirling! After being eliminated from America’s Got Talent with some brutal criticism and suffering from anorexia and depression, Lindsey Stirling picked herself up and has been constantly innovating with her love of the violin. Lindsey is now releasing her second Christmas album and touring while performing trapeze during her show. We talk all about her evolution, creative outlets, DIY's and much more!
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Lindsay, I am so honored that you're coming on my
podcast here today. You the way you've approached your career
and the way you've been so innovative in creating new
ideas in your space has been so inspiring for me.
And the way you reimagine things. I just want to
start off with, how did you first fall in love
with the violin? Well, thank you first of all, thank
you for having me, and thanks for your very kind words. Um,
(00:24):
I fell in love with the violin when I was
really little. My parents loved classical music and they were
always playing, you know, these old classical records in our home,
and so that's just what I fell in love with.
I was exposed to it, it's what I knew, and
I really wanted violin lessons when I was six, and
so you have those violin lessons. And was there ever
(00:45):
a time where you stopped playing violin or has it
just always been something that's been an outlet for you.
It's always been an outlet. There were times, like in
high school or in my teen years, when I like
kind of started to fall out of love with it
a little bit here and there and went through lulls,
but I never quit. You know, it's always been a
part of my life. I love that. So I have
to ask, how many violence do you own? I've got
(01:06):
a whole closet full of them. It's bad, um, but
I probably have like seventeen at this point. Bad or
amazing one or the other. I don't know. You know,
that's a really good point. They're covered in sparkles and
lace and all kinds of fun things, so it's amazing you.
So you're telling me you have bedazzled violence. I do.
I have some really pretty ones that I get to
(01:28):
tour with, and like, I just got a new one
that I'm really excited to decorate and figure out how
I want to make it feel Christmas Eve for this
tour because I decorate them myself. So I'm like, what
am I gonna do? What craft d I y queen?
We love that, we love it? So do you glue
the rhinestones on yourself? When I get them bedazzled. I've
(01:49):
actually sent them to like professional bedazzlers, because as we
know in l A, that's the thing you have to
So yeah, I wanted the real people to do the
real job. But if it's like something more unique, like
I just made one for a music video where there's
like little skeleton bones and all this stuff on the
violin and I made I made that myself because that
(02:09):
was like a fun craft night. I was like, I'm
gonna put on a rom com and I'm gonna make
my skeleton violin. What rom com? Oh? I think I
watched um Maid of Honor? How was it? Oh, it's
so cute if you haven't seen it. I'm always for
a good rom com and a good crafty project. Yes,
your girlf my own heart. We need to get together
sometime and just craft and calm it up those nights.
(02:31):
A good craft night with a good rom com. It's ideal.
It is. I'm in college and I'm like, that's my
ideal night. Just be with the friends, do a face
mask crafting. Yes, what better way to live life? Love it.
I know you were on America's Got Talent, which I
think is so in such an interesting part of your
story because though you didn't win it and you got eliminated,
(02:56):
you kept going. It's always hard when you have a
setback to keep pursuing what made you keep going. After
you're on TV and then millions of people watch you
get voted off because I can't imagine going through something
like that. Yes, you know, it wasn't only getting voted off.
It's not like it's just so you didn't make it
to the next round. It was so humiliating, Like I
got told just the harshest critique I've ever received, like
(03:19):
in front of millions of people. I was told that
I sounded like rats being strangled and that you know,
it just didn't have it. It took and it was
so embarrassing. Um. And you know, from that experience though afterwards,
I remember I did think to myself, I don't think
I could ever get on the stage again like this.
I don't think this is for me. Um. But then
there was this like a little inner voice that whether
(03:41):
you call it your spirit, your gut, your instincts, whatever
the universe, I think it's a I think it's like
my spirit and God like telling me that like there's more,
there is more for you, don't give up. It just
wasn't right then, and so I kind of changed the
wording of what they said. Rather than not good enough,
I was like, you know what, I'm gonna just add,
(04:03):
you're not good enough yet because my performance really wasn't great,
like if I'm going to be honest, like I kind
of earned the critique I got. But no one moment
of your life should ever define you. No one performance
should ever define how you're going to perform for the
rest of your life. Yeah, it wasn't my best performance.
I was so nervous and I was new at this craft.
But I put in the time and I realized I
(04:24):
just wasn't good enough yet. And then when I got
back on a stage, like, you know, a year and
a half later for my first show, like my first show, Um,
I was ready. Then I had put in the time
and it was a different story at that point. And
so yeah, I think there's that experience taught me so
much about grit getting up after you fall, and that
(04:45):
sometimes you know it just isn't the right time or place,
and that doesn't mean it that forever is not the
right time or place. Absolutely, And I've seen so many
of your interviews and I love the way you you
view things and the positive spin you take on it,
because I feel like the way we talk to ourselves
is so important, and it's the energy that we give
out and it's also the energy that we received, and
(05:08):
it's something that I'm definitely I struggle a lot with
I'm trying to figure out the whole self love journey.
It is a process. And I was wondering, what it's
hard to continue sometimes and to keep going with the
positive talk when you're not feeling so positive. So what
advice do you have for you know, continuing with gratitude
(05:29):
and just keeping that those good vibes around yourself, you know?
I think that, Um, when it comes to like positive
self talk and all of that, it's so much more
about the overall journey than the moment. Like sometimes you're
not gonna win in the moment, but it's about learning
(05:49):
to train your mind for the overall journey. And um,
when I was in college, actually I was, I was
in a place where I hated myself and I was
so negative and I was I was then rexic, I
was depressed. I truly hated myself, and I finally woke
up one day to realizing I used to not be
like this. I'm sick of hating myself and I deserve
(06:11):
everybody deserves better than this, And um, I didn't win
every moment from there on out. It's really hard to
like force that positive self talk in your head. It's
it's almost impossible to believe it when you say it
when you're in a state like that. But it was
through slowly training myself and saying the positive things over
(06:31):
and over and over again, even though I didn't believe them,
looking in the mirror at my eyes and saying like,
I love you, and you are strong, you are smart,
you are you are you know all the things that
we want to believe about ourselves that I didn't believe.
But after you say it enough, it's like you're rewiring
your brain. After you write in a gratitude journal enough,
Like if you do that every night, you are rewiring
(06:52):
and strengthening neuropathways in your mind that you may not
feel like it's winning in the moment because you're like,
I don't believe this as I say it or as
I write it. But the more you do it, the
more those become, the stronger neural pathways than the negative ones.
Just like working out muscles um and your mind will
naturally start to use those pathways. I mean, it's an actual,
(07:15):
like biological there's a science behind it. It's a science
and it's not just like, oh, well, believe in yourself
and you'll feel better. It's like, no, you're actually creating
you know, pathways and biology and science and so anyways,
I'm a big believer in even if you don't think
you're winning the moment, you're creating your future and it
will change your life and it changed mind. I that
(07:38):
is so important to hear because I also feel like
I know a lot of people in college listen, listen
to this podcast, and college is just it's a it's
a mess up. Social experiment is what I've had to
realize about being there from high school in a random
place and you're like socialized and see what happens, and
it really and I think social media exascerbates it. And
(07:59):
you know, now we have you know, always comparing yourself
and there's body image issues that you know, it's so
hard to just be nowadays, you know and just get through.
And I know you're you're so active on social media.
Have you found that balance where you know you can
still prioritize your mental health and keep that the priority
while still being on an app where you know you
(08:21):
get can you can compare yourself a lot too. Yeah,
I think it's always going to be a battle. It's
just a reality that we have to live with, and
we're almost like in the middle of the science experiment
because it's also new still, you know, and everybody and
it's always changing, and so it's like hard to figure
out constantly what the best balances, um But I find
(08:42):
that it's healthy to figure out your own limitations. Like
there are certain things that I thought, I, you know,
that I would like maybe follow on social media, and
then you realize that doesn't make me feel good. You know,
when I see this person's post nothing against them, but
I'm not saying that they did anything wrong. It's just
like when I see the kind of content they're posting,
(09:04):
it's not making me feel good. And it could be
because I'm not in a good place and nothing about them,
but it's like those are the posts that for now
I'm gonna mute, you know, like really curating your feed
because it's inevitable we're all going to be on these feeds.
But like learning to set boundaries for yourself. Learning like
if you have to put a timer that allows you
to only look at the app for a certain amount
(09:24):
of time, if you need that, do it, you know,
learning to create boundaries in a world where there are
no boundaries anymore. I think is so so important, and
every once in a while take a little bit of
a like hiatus from social media where I'm like, I'm
only going to get on to post and I'm not
gonna use it as a um consumer for a week,
you know, I'm just we're gonna get on and post,
(09:45):
not look at anything or even have someone else, like
have my assistant post it for me. Like, I think
it's really healthy sometimes to almost do like a bit
of a fast from it, to like detox, because it
is a like it is a bit of a toxin
to get all that in you every day. It is.
And I've noticed I turned my notifications off from Instagram
and all that, and that has helped tremendously because it's
(10:07):
not getting the ding for it anymore. So it's only
when I choose to go on it, you know. It's
like those little things that I've noticed really with me personally,
do you have any like go to when you're not
feeling your your best, like go to self care? You're like, oh,
this will make me feel better. Let's see what does
my go to self care? UM. Lately, I've really gotten
(10:28):
into breathwork, which is something I have you done it.
I've heard so much about it from so many people,
and I hear it's incredible, but I've never done it.
It's really powerful, it's and it's the kind of thing
again that like when I first did it the very
first time, I was kind of like, all right, that
was kind of relaxing, cool, Like I don't know what
everybody's the big hype is. But then as I kept
(10:50):
doing it, and now it's like a daily practice. I
I do it every morning for like, oh like ten
to fifteen minutes. It's not a breaking my schedule, but
I've just found it has made an immense difference in
my anxiety because I am once a day like calming
my nervous system. Again, it's not just this woo boo stuff.
(11:10):
It's science, like you're actually changing the chemistry and your
body when you're oxygen eating yourselves and taking this time
to like reset your nervous system. It's something I do
before I go on stage every night now so that
those like those like adrenaline pumps that I'm getting that
are so strong and sometimes cause me to be a
little bit out of whack when I first step on stage.
It it literally just resets everything. So I don't know,
(11:33):
breathwork has been a huge, like maintenance practice in my
life right now. But also if I feel like I'm
starting to have an anxiety moment, just that reset of
being able to do some of these simple like even
if you know, a simple breath that I do often
is where you take three breaths in and one breath out,
so just like, oh fun, that's fun to do that. Yeah,
(11:55):
it's kind of fun. You do it to the beat
of a song, um that's in four or four time,
and it like works perfectly, and it's amazing how how
much it has helped my anxiety. So that's my go
to Okay, I need I have anxiety too, and O
c D. So I need to get on this because
I know what it's like having a nervous system out
of whack. Are always in fight or flight, So I
(12:15):
need to calm I need to calm her sometimes we
all do. And I think our world is riddled with
anxiety these days, you know, And how is it not?
How is it not some of us worse than others.
But it's like you know, anything, you know, I don't know.
I've tried medication at times, that breath work is the
most helpful thing I've ever done. That's so interesting because
(12:35):
I have been really trying to figure out what works
for me and you know, maintaining that and it's it's
hard to continually work on it. But something I've been
doing that my friend recommends is I named my anxiety um.
Her name is Jojo Um, and I'm just like, Jojo,
We're good, Jojo, stop it. We're so good, Jojo, you
(12:55):
don't need to mess things up for me. And I
noticed it kind of helps because I'm putting it's kind
of separating in my brain, like, oh, it's not me.
I love that. And I did the same thing with
my eating disorder. I called it ed um perfect and
I yeah, and it does. There is something really relieving
about realizing that this is just a piece of you.
(13:15):
It's not you, it's not even it's really what the
world has done to you. So it's not even you,
and it compartmentalizes it. And it's nice to have something
to be like like ed not today. I do not
believe what you're telling me about myself. You know, Jojo,
what are you doing? Pull it together? You know, it's
little things like that, But I love, and I love
being able to talk about it with people because I
(13:37):
feel like once I started having these like open dialogues
with my friends, it truly made me feel so much better, like, oh,
my goodness, I'm not the only person going through it,
because when you're going through it can feel so isolating. Absolutely,
it really can. And I think one of the best
things I ever did for my recovery when I was
antarexic was going to a group therapy, Terrified absolutely terrified
(13:59):
love therapy. It was on campus, and I found out
through a counselor on campus that they had the secret
group that met and it was like a basement so
no one would know where we were. Um, it was
terrifying to go, but like one of the most powerful
things was to sit in a room with other women
who had never met before and share them expressed the
same thoughts that I had in my head that I
(14:20):
thought were so crazy and so isolating. And you know,
there's a lot of power in just community. There really is.
And you noticed when someone says I mean, you're like, oh,
you feel that too, so do I. And it's it's
taking that first step to just say something, which is
often the hardest thing um. Something that I am really
inspired by is I know you talked about doing ballroom
(14:43):
dance as like a release, and I started to I
signed up for a tap dance class this semester, but
I've never danced before in my life, and it's with
dance majors and people have taps since they were two,
and I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm having
so much fun. So I was wondering you have that
same release with ballroom dancing where you kind of can't worry,
you kind of have to focus on what you're doing. Absolutely,
(15:06):
I think it's really important to one like have an
outlet something like that where you get to you really
have to, like you said, focus and it takes you
out of whatever you're living in on your day to day.
But also, I think there's something so great about being
a consistent student in life, like the ability to try
something new and realize that like, Okay, I'm going to
(15:28):
be kind of bad at this for a while because
I'm just learning and oh my gosh, is they're teaching
me this step it feels impossible. I think that is
such an important feeling to consistently have as a human
because as we're as we grow as adults, we just
get so so comfortable being comfortable, and we get really
uncomfortable being bad at things. Like kids are fine falling,
(15:50):
They're fine if they suck at something, and they're like
they're like, it's okay, I'm I'm just learning. Of course
I suck, but adults aren't good at that. And so
you know, like yeah, in a ballroom or I've recently
started taking a trapeze class, like so you know, so uncomfortable.
So um odd I love it though, but I really
(16:10):
think there's so much value in And also you have
to really focus because and it does pull you out
of your head because you're like, I have to focus
on this or I'm gonna trip on my shoe or
I'm going to fall off this areal apparatus. You know. Literally,
I've been trying to live by doing one thing a
day that makes me uncomfortable. Oh and it's honestly made
me live more life than I ever have because I've
(16:32):
been really putting myself out there. Can you tell me
an example? Oh, of course, Um, I asked someone out
for coffee, which I've never done before. Um. When and
this was a little bit terrifying. But in my tap class,
my teacher pointed at me and told me to do
the dance routine in front of everybody. Did I want
to shoot my pants a bit? Yes, but didn't make
me feel uncomfortable? And absolutely did so we got everything
(16:55):
that made us uncomfortable on the way. So it's just
like little things that I do throughout the day, just
like for me socially, anxiety can cause. So I've been
trying to put myself in social situations. So whether that's
I went to a party by myself, which I've never
done before, but I actually had the best time. So
it's just been it's been a lot, but it's been good. Yeah,
good for you. I'm going to take that. I don't
(17:16):
know if I will have the courage to do it
every day. That's bold, just one thing, it could be
so small. I think it's amazing. Just one Okay, Okay,
I could but I love that. I think that's amazing.
It's fun. I've been really trying to the goal for
myself for this year is to try and be the
best person I can be and try and you know,
grow as much as I can. And I've been doing
(17:37):
my life in three months increments where I feel like
when I plan something for three months, I'm a completely
different person. So it's been helpful to do it in
those bits I find. Yeah, oh that's so good. I
love it. I want to talk about trapeezing because I
know you are going on tour and you're releasing a
Christmas album, which is Can we talk about how fast
the holidays came this year? Oh my gosh, I cannot
(17:59):
believe that we're almost in spooky season. Like, yeah, do
you have any Halloween costumes planned? You know, I am
the kind of person I have a costume shed amazing
just of like so many costumes from music videos and tours.
I love costumes, so I keep them all. Um, I'm
like a costume hoarder. I guess you could say, but
it's a great I'm not gonna lie. I know. I
(18:21):
always tell my friends, if you don't know what to be,
come over. We'll play dress up. So, um, I don't
know what I'm gonna be, but we're gonna be a
tour rehearsals. So I'm planning on throwing a like a
Halloween party after a long day of Christmas tour rehearsals.
I absolutely love that we have to take a quick break,
but when we come back, I want to talk about
your new album snow Waltz and the crazy stuff you're
(18:44):
going to be doing on tour, and it has to
do with track peezing. We'll be right back and we're back.
Your new album, snow Waltz comes out so soon. And
I know you described this album as a whimsical, pixie
like feeling. That's quintessentially me. Can you please expand on
(19:08):
that because I love how that's phrased. Well, thank you. Um.
You know, this is actually my second Christmas album, and
my first one I really leaned into like what does
Christmas iconically sound like? You know? So I had some
big band songs in there, and I was trying to
really lean into the traditional sound of Christmas. And this
time I was like, actually, I want Christmas to come
(19:29):
a little bit into my world. And so, um, I
do feel like this album is still sounds like Christmas,
but it also sounds very much like me and like whimsical.
I I just cannot wait to like take it on
the tour and get to share like pixie dust with
people every night. So you are going to be trappeezing
while playing the violin, you must be incredible at multitasking. Well,
(19:54):
you know what I found is in order to multitask,
you just have to know each skill so much that
you don't have to think about them, and they become one.
I guess. So I was like, learned the violin parts
and then whether it's choreography or trappeezing. Um, I learned
that super well, and then I learned them together slowly,
(20:15):
and because I actually I am not a great multitasker,
but if you can connect the two so they become
one skill. Because if you think about it, like when
I play the violin, one arm is doing something completely
different than the other hand, but they become one so
that they're synonymous. And so if the choreography becomes one
with the playing, then I'm not multitasking anymore. My body
(20:36):
just knows the assignment for every move, you know what
I mean. That's so awesome. So how has tell me
how how has trappeezing been? What is that process been? Like?
It's been so fun. It started out like, you know,
super uncomfortable and like a little bit scary as you're
like up in the air holding onto these ropes, and
just hoping that your balance is good. But um, you
(20:58):
know now that I'm like a little more comfortable out
there and I learned how to like do certain positions
where I can play and stuff. It's just so fun.
I've definitely gotten the aerial bug now. And two of
my dancers were like, that looks like a lot of fun.
We'd love to do it too, So they now go
up in the air too, Like we've just all been,
you know, we've been rehearsing and getting stronger, and it's
there's something very empowering about it too. I've never been
(21:20):
super strong, like in my upper body, like I could
never do a pull up, and suddenly I'm I'm getting
strong And so there's something that's really like exciting and
empowering about like what your body can do when you
push it absolutely. And I know you talked about your
struggle with eating disorders. Isn't that even more empowering with
how much you've overcome and to be able to feel
(21:40):
strong in your body, has that just been even more
of a full circle moment for yourself? A percent? And
I remember when I was first trying to get through
my anorexia. Um, one of the things I really focused
on was thanking my body for what it could do,
instead of seeing it as this like visual picture that
I was always trying to shrink and trying to disappear into.
(22:03):
It was like, my body allows me to walk, it
allows me to you know, um, you know. And at
the time, I wasn't much of a dancer. But since
then and I always try to really think about that,
like my body is not an object, it's a tool,
and it allows me too much. And the more I've
learned to focus on the what I can do and
(22:23):
train my body to be, the less I have because
of course I'm like past andrexia, but there's always that
little part of my brain that there's always the voice
I had to tell ed to go away. I don't
believe that anymore. And the more I've worked on my
my skills with my body, the easier it is to
tell him to get the heck out of here. I
(22:43):
love having tools in your tool kit. It's so autome,
and I'd like to think of my brain as a
toolbox and I'm just filling it with tools. Love that.
So something that I think is very inspiring to me
is I know you're an independent artist and you're constantly
creating and innovating, And I was wondering, when you're going
into creating a project, what is the creative process, Like
(23:07):
do you generally have a theme in mind or a
general idea or things you want to implement in your
project or how does it generally go about when you're
creating something and wanting to innovate a space. You know,
it all depends. I do love a theme though. That's
why I like Christmas albums are so fun. Is like
there's a very understood theme that everyone gets and we
(23:27):
get to use the from the theme. Um, you know what.
I've done that on several albums, Like I wrote my
last original album was called Artemis and I actually decided
I wanted the theme to be this like fantastical story
and I wrote a comic book so that like the
album and the artwork and the music videos and the
tour could like center around this theme and the red
hair thank you. I love red hair. Um. It's like
(23:51):
really fun when you can create like a palette and
then you get to just bring it to life in
different mediums, Like making the music videos is so fun,
you know, for that Artemus album or making the tour flow,
like feeling like I got to tell a little bit
of the story. Um so so yeah. To me, I
think it all comes a lot from like storytelling. I've
always been a storyteller. My dad like like taught me
(24:15):
how to tell stories from the time I was little
because he was a writer and loved storytelling. And so
I think that's where a lot of my creativity really
thrives is when I find a way to make it
feel like the music is a narrative or you know,
like I'm writing to create a feeling of a story
or an arc of a story. There's something so magical
about that to me and always has been. So you've
(24:37):
done comic books, You've composed what's the next element of
storytelling that you want to go down? What's the next
endeavor for you? The next endeavor? Um, you know, I've
I've always wanted to well, I've always wanted to compose
music for like a score, like a film. And I
(24:57):
think you know, John Williams, I think is the greatest
musical storyteller of our time. He's inspired me so much,
and so I'd love to write like theme music, manifest
put it out there. Yes, I'm a big manifesto. I've
been trying to get into it, and I've noticed when
I feel like I've been putting out good vibes, good
vibes come back. So we're seeing how it goes. I
(25:18):
love it. It's so true though, it's like what you
put into the world is what comes back. It's also
what you're going to look for. It's very much what
you look for, you know, if you're focusing. Yeah, like
the good and the bad and the positive and the negative.
They're all around us simultaneously all the time, and it's
just what have you trained your mind to see? Um,
are you going to pick out the good? Are you
going to focus on the bad? And you know, and
(25:39):
it changes your life depending on which one you're looking for. Yeah,
So how do you stay creative without getting into a funk?
Because that is something that I've struggled with quite a bit. Yes, Um,
and funks are the worst it is, and it's like inevitable,
It's like, yeah, it happens, and um, so I definitely
get into funks and sometimes it's just a matter of
(26:02):
being kind to myself when I'm in it and not,
you know, just reminding myself that is a part of
the process. Like when I'm in writing mode and I
feel like I'm just writing bad song after bad song
after bad song, I'm like, you know what this happens.
We've been here before. We know that the good stuff
will eventually come, you know, So like be kind to myself.
(26:22):
That's kind of the the mantra of the Funk because
it's like the harder I am on myself and the
more I like get angry, you know, my why are
I being better? Like, it's only going to slow down
the process. It's like any emotion, you just gotta feel it,
experience it, and then it will move on. You know.
Have you noticed that living life has helped get help
you get out of creative funks because you're pulling more
(26:45):
from your life experience than just supposed to forcing yourself
to write. I think so. I think sometimes, Um, like
I just read this amazing book called The Happiness Advantage,
and he talks in the book about how, you know,
we have this mindset so many times that we just
got to push through and we just gotta like grit
(27:06):
down and like get through it and keep working. But
he says that if you do small, tiny things and
it's not like you even have to go on a
huge vacation or take a month off work or like
do anything big like that. Like little tiny things that
just like give you a burst of happiness, whether it's
like going to your favorite like restaurant for lunch in
the middle of the day, like just to kind of
(27:26):
pull yourself out of something, or um listening to your
favorite song and taking five minutes to dance around your
house before you leave to an important meeting. Like what
that does to your body, um and your mind is
game changing, and it gives you a huge advantage in
like the workplace even or in just your mental health.
Like tiny bursts of happiness. And so I've like kind
(27:47):
of tried to like implement this into my life, and
it's been really cool to see how I can work
longer in sessions, i can be more creatively a tune
when I'm kind of taking little breaks, which is not
intuitive to me. I have for a long time time
was always like, no, you work, you work, you work,
you go, you go, you go until you figure it out.
But there's so much more power that comes when you
take a little break. Yeah, reset yourself, get some sunlight,
(28:10):
have a snack, then go back in and you're gonna
be so much more effective than if you just like
powered through. I agree, And I feel like we're also
living in a society where hustle and grind culture is
so like it's good to wake up at three am
to get your days started and stay up till midnight
and work so hard and do all that. But it's
like that's just not how our bodies function, and we
(28:30):
need sleep and to give ourselves rest. And I feel
like people don't really talk about it, like sleep is cool, guys,
you should sleep, Like going to sleep early, sleep is cool.
I love that. And you know, I just feel like
there's this need whenever anyone's like what are you up to?
What's going on? You feel like you have to the
best answer is like I am so exhausted. Oh my gosh,
(28:51):
I'm just working so hard and there's so much happening.
I could bear like, you know, that's like the answer.
That's like the cool answer. I feel like it has
been for years. But why not just be like I'm
up to nothing? And it's kind of great. You know
what I've loved lately that if I like, if I
have stuff, I'll tell peop about it. But in those times,
so maybe I'm in between projects. I've learned to like
be really okay with being like, you know, I'm kind
(29:12):
of in between stuff right now, but like I'm happy.
I'm doing good. That's like my favorite answer to give
is not even to talk about what I'm doing or
how tired I am or if I am tired, but
just saying like I'm actually like in a good place,
like I'm I'm happy. And it's funny to see people's
response if you say, like, if your answer is that
I'm I'm happy, like, oh, you know, it's it's a
(29:33):
very intriatum. Tell me more, um, you know, or if
it doesn't have to be that I'm happy, be like,
oh man, it's you know, it could be whatever it is.
But talking about how you're actually doing rather than what
you're doing is like a shift for I think a
lot of people, especially in the entertainment space, when it's
so much about like what are you working on next?
What do you do? Anyway, it's not just like, you know,
I'm actually pretty content right now, like really, yeah, I'm fulfilled. Yeah,
(30:00):
and for no reason, I'm just like I'm just happy
and they're like, oh that's good. Yeah, I wouldn't be
like that. Yeah, okay, we have to take one more
quick break. But when we come back, I want to
talk all about touring, including how it affects your mental health,
the good and the bad. We'll be right back and
(30:25):
we're back. So when you're on tour, would you say
tour has been like good for your mental health and
the travel or it does it weigh on your mental
health a bit because I can't imagine like going from
city to city performing all the time. Or do you
just like love it and is that how you feed
off your energy? I kind of love it. Well that's good,
(30:46):
I do. I thank Heavin's. I would not do it
nearly as much as I do if I hadn't realized
early on that like, oh my gosh, I love this. Um,
you know, I love entertaining. I feel like it's kind
of what I was born to do, was to get
out there and put on a show. It's it's just
who I've always been. But I think the most important
thing that makes me love it is UM the people
(31:07):
I tour with, Like I I really have a family
and UM. And it's funny because I don't have a
family of my own in my home, Like I have
friends in l A and I like my people that
I love, but like I feel almost like when I
go on tour, I'm going home to a family. Um
that you know, because some of these guys and these
you know, some of the guys have been with me
(31:27):
for ten years, and my dancers have been with me
from anywhere from eight to four years. Um. So it's
like we really are a family and we have our
own we have our own Christmas traditions at this point
because we've toured so many times through Christmas and so um.
I think aside from the fact that I love performing,
I love putting on a show, it's the fact that
I can go to sleep at night on my tour bus,
(31:50):
you know, like a sleepover with my friends on the bus,
And that makes all the difference to me. That's so
much fun. Are you so excited to go back on tour.
I'm so excited, lindsay, I need to see the show.
I'm so excited to see you. I want to see
you Trappee's in the air. Oh yeah, come back to
a show. We'll get your tickets. Oh that would be
so cool. So are you so excited to just trap
(32:11):
peas in front of so many people or you a
little well, we did it last Christmas. Um, that was
like our our little maiden journey to see how it felt.
And it worked and and it was great. And so
we're going to all new cities this year's and we've
also had time to like home the craft a little
bit more. So I'm I'm very you're an expert. I'm
(32:32):
a quote unquote sure, I'm expert ish enough to do
in front of audiences. So um, because like, yeah, I
wouldn't I wouldn't be able to go up in the
air in front of a crowd if I was still afraid,
you know what I mean, if I was like afraid
of falling, Like I could not do that in front
of a crowd. But now that I'm like very comfortable,
and I'm like, I feel strong, I feel confident, like
(32:55):
I'm ready. I love that. Are you doing any other
d I wise for this tour? So many? I, um,
you know, I'll be making a violin something cool. I'm
not sure what. But I'm also super involved in the costuming,
so I've like, um, you know, costumes all over my
house of like bits and pieces that I've been piecing
together and then I basically, once I pieced them all
(33:16):
together and pinned things, I like send it to a
seamstress and then she makes it so that it's not
going to fall apart. But like, I love costuming. It's
something that I get a lot of joy in. Again,
it's like Kraft night. Yeah, I saw you made a
skirt out of your curtains and I was so impressed.
I was like, how did you do this? That was
(33:38):
you know, that was a moment of necessity. Like I
had ordered a dress for a music video and then
it just kept not coming and not coming, and it
kept saying it was coming, and the night before it
still hadn't arrived. And I got home and it wasn't there,
and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's nine o'clock at night.
What am I going to wear tomorrow? And I was
like laying in bed and I like looked at my
curtains and it was like the sound of music moment.
(33:59):
You know, it's like a favorite things. Um So yeah,
I was like, oh my gosh. I just basically pinned
it to a skirt and like draped the fabric and anyways,
it ended up looking really great. It was like the
perfect ideal situation. I didn't have to ruin the they're
actually back in my room. They were Anthropology curtains, So
I was like, I'm not going to ruin my curtains.
Never not Anthropology curtains. Never not Anthropology. It's like designer
(34:25):
wear for your window. Literally, So I was like, I
don't want to ruin them. So I just like unhooked them,
pinned them up, unpinned it at the video, and like
carefully placed them back up. Like goodness, I'm so excited
for the holiday sales that are about to come from Anthropology.
The candles have some fun stuff, their home to Core,
(34:45):
their dresses, everything is so magical. They're their home to
Core is what I hope my future house to be like.
It will like I'm it's just going to be color.
It's going to be a pink couch. Like I just know,
there's just gonna be fun. Yes, so like so feminine,
I guess is what I think draws me in. It's fun,
it's whimsical, and I feel like I feel like that
(35:08):
you can't find it's hard to find nowadays, it is. Yeah,
everything is so dark and dark colors. I'm like, where's
the color at Yeah, everybody's into neutrals and like a
very basic palette. Um basic like patterns. But I'm like, oh,
well give me some flooras need some color. Yeah, sparkle, oh,
sparkle anything and it will make it better. That is
(35:28):
my life motto. You got to absolutely Lindsay, thank you
so much for taking the time to come on my podcast,
and everyone go listen to her second Christmas album, snow Walls.
It is Oh my goodness, I'm so excited and I'm
excited to see you hopefully live. That will be incredible. Yes,
oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for such
a great conversation. I loved all the things. I'm going
(35:49):
to try to do something uncomfortable every day. I love that. Yeah,
thank God for that. Thank you of course, thank you
so much. Lindsay was so lovely getting to talk to you.
You too, have a wonderful rest of your day because
luck with college. Thank you. I will make it through.
You are, You're gonna be great. Okay, bye bye
Lindsay, I am so honored that you're coming on my
podcast here today. You the way you've approached your career
and the way you've been so innovative in creating new
ideas in your space has been so inspiring for me.
And the way you reimagine things. I just want to
start off with, how did you first fall in love
with the violin? Well, thank you first of all, thank
you for having me, and thanks for your very kind words. Um,
(00:24):
I fell in love with the violin when I was
really little. My parents loved classical music and they were
always playing, you know, these old classical records in our home,
and so that's just what I fell in love with.
I was exposed to it, it's what I knew, and
I really wanted violin lessons when I was six, and
so you have those violin lessons. And was there ever
(00:45):
a time where you stopped playing violin or has it
just always been something that's been an outlet for you.
It's always been an outlet. There were times, like in
high school or in my teen years, when I like
kind of started to fall out of love with it
a little bit here and there and went through lulls,
but I never quit. You know, it's always been a
part of my life. I love that. So I have
to ask, how many violence do you own? I've got
(01:06):
a whole closet full of them. It's bad, um, but
I probably have like seventeen at this point. Bad or
amazing one or the other. I don't know. You know,
that's a really good point. They're covered in sparkles and
lace and all kinds of fun things, so it's amazing you.
So you're telling me you have bedazzled violence. I do.
I have some really pretty ones that I get to
(01:28):
tour with, and like, I just got a new one
that I'm really excited to decorate and figure out how
I want to make it feel Christmas Eve for this
tour because I decorate them myself. So I'm like, what
am I gonna do? What craft d I y queen?
We love that, we love it? So do you glue
the rhinestones on yourself? When I get them bedazzled. I've
(01:49):
actually sent them to like professional bedazzlers, because as we
know in l A, that's the thing you have to
So yeah, I wanted the real people to do the
real job. But if it's like something more unique, like
I just made one for a music video where there's
like little skeleton bones and all this stuff on the
violin and I made I made that myself because that
(02:09):
was like a fun craft night. I was like, I'm
gonna put on a rom com and I'm gonna make
my skeleton violin. What rom com? Oh? I think I
watched um Maid of Honor? How was it? Oh, it's
so cute if you haven't seen it. I'm always for
a good rom com and a good crafty project. Yes,
your girlf my own heart. We need to get together
sometime and just craft and calm it up those nights.
(02:31):
A good craft night with a good rom com. It's ideal.
It is. I'm in college and I'm like, that's my
ideal night. Just be with the friends, do a face
mask crafting. Yes, what better way to live life? Love it.
I know you were on America's Got Talent, which I
think is so in such an interesting part of your
story because though you didn't win it and you got eliminated,
(02:56):
you kept going. It's always hard when you have a
setback to keep pursuing what made you keep going. After
you're on TV and then millions of people watch you
get voted off because I can't imagine going through something
like that. Yes, you know, it wasn't only getting voted off.
It's not like it's just so you didn't make it
to the next round. It was so humiliating, Like I
got told just the harshest critique I've ever received, like
(03:19):
in front of millions of people. I was told that
I sounded like rats being strangled and that you know,
it just didn't have it. It took and it was
so embarrassing. Um. And you know, from that experience though afterwards,
I remember I did think to myself, I don't think
I could ever get on the stage again like this.
I don't think this is for me. Um. But then
there was this like a little inner voice that whether
(03:41):
you call it your spirit, your gut, your instincts, whatever
the universe, I think it's a I think it's like
my spirit and God like telling me that like there's more,
there is more for you, don't give up. It just
wasn't right then, and so I kind of changed the
wording of what they said. Rather than not good enough,
I was like, you know what, I'm gonna just add,
(04:03):
you're not good enough yet because my performance really wasn't great,
like if I'm going to be honest, like I kind
of earned the critique I got. But no one moment
of your life should ever define you. No one performance
should ever define how you're going to perform for the
rest of your life. Yeah, it wasn't my best performance.
I was so nervous and I was new at this craft.
But I put in the time and I realized I
(04:24):
just wasn't good enough yet. And then when I got
back on a stage, like, you know, a year and
a half later for my first show, like my first show, Um,
I was ready. Then I had put in the time
and it was a different story at that point. And
so yeah, I think there's that experience taught me so
much about grit getting up after you fall, and that
(04:45):
sometimes you know it just isn't the right time or place,
and that doesn't mean it that forever is not the
right time or place. Absolutely, And I've seen so many
of your interviews and I love the way you you
view things and the positive spin you take on it,
because I feel like the way we talk to ourselves
is so important, and it's the energy that we give
out and it's also the energy that we received, and
(05:08):
it's something that I'm definitely I struggle a lot with
I'm trying to figure out the whole self love journey.
It is a process. And I was wondering, what it's
hard to continue sometimes and to keep going with the
positive talk when you're not feeling so positive. So what
advice do you have for you know, continuing with gratitude
(05:29):
and just keeping that those good vibes around yourself, you know?
I think that, Um, when it comes to like positive
self talk and all of that, it's so much more
about the overall journey than the moment. Like sometimes you're
not gonna win in the moment, but it's about learning
(05:49):
to train your mind for the overall journey. And um,
when I was in college, actually I was, I was
in a place where I hated myself and I was
so negative and I was I was then rexic, I
was depressed. I truly hated myself, and I finally woke
up one day to realizing I used to not be
like this. I'm sick of hating myself and I deserve
(06:11):
everybody deserves better than this, And um, I didn't win
every moment from there on out. It's really hard to
like force that positive self talk in your head. It's
it's almost impossible to believe it when you say it
when you're in a state like that. But it was
through slowly training myself and saying the positive things over
(06:31):
and over and over again, even though I didn't believe them,
looking in the mirror at my eyes and saying like,
I love you, and you are strong, you are smart,
you are you are you know all the things that
we want to believe about ourselves that I didn't believe.
But after you say it enough, it's like you're rewiring
your brain. After you write in a gratitude journal enough,
Like if you do that every night, you are rewiring
(06:52):
and strengthening neuropathways in your mind that you may not
feel like it's winning in the moment because you're like,
I don't believe this as I say it or as
I write it. But the more you do it, the
more those become, the stronger neural pathways than the negative ones.
Just like working out muscles um and your mind will
naturally start to use those pathways. I mean, it's an actual,
(07:15):
like biological there's a science behind it. It's a science
and it's not just like, oh, well, believe in yourself
and you'll feel better. It's like, no, you're actually creating
you know, pathways and biology and science and so anyways,
I'm a big believer in even if you don't think
you're winning the moment, you're creating your future and it
will change your life and it changed mind. I that
(07:38):
is so important to hear because I also feel like
I know a lot of people in college listen, listen
to this podcast, and college is just it's a it's
a mess up. Social experiment is what I've had to
realize about being there from high school in a random
place and you're like socialized and see what happens, and
it really and I think social media exascerbates it. And
(07:59):
you know, now we have you know, always comparing yourself
and there's body image issues that you know, it's so
hard to just be nowadays, you know and just get through.
And I know you're you're so active on social media.
Have you found that balance where you know you can
still prioritize your mental health and keep that the priority
while still being on an app where you know you
(08:21):
get can you can compare yourself a lot too. Yeah,
I think it's always going to be a battle. It's
just a reality that we have to live with, and
we're almost like in the middle of the science experiment
because it's also new still, you know, and everybody and
it's always changing, and so it's like hard to figure
out constantly what the best balances, um But I find
(08:42):
that it's healthy to figure out your own limitations. Like
there are certain things that I thought, I, you know,
that I would like maybe follow on social media, and
then you realize that doesn't make me feel good. You know,
when I see this person's post nothing against them, but
I'm not saying that they did anything wrong. It's just
like when I see the kind of content they're posting,
(09:04):
it's not making me feel good. And it could be
because I'm not in a good place and nothing about them,
but it's like those are the posts that for now
I'm gonna mute, you know, like really curating your feed
because it's inevitable we're all going to be on these feeds.
But like learning to set boundaries for yourself. Learning like
if you have to put a timer that allows you
to only look at the app for a certain amount
(09:24):
of time, if you need that, do it, you know,
learning to create boundaries in a world where there are
no boundaries anymore. I think is so so important, and
every once in a while take a little bit of
a like hiatus from social media where I'm like, I'm
only going to get on to post and I'm not
gonna use it as a um consumer for a week,
you know, I'm just we're gonna get on and post,
(09:45):
not look at anything or even have someone else, like
have my assistant post it for me. Like, I think
it's really healthy sometimes to almost do like a bit
of a fast from it, to like detox, because it
is a like it is a bit of a toxin
to get all that in you every day. It is.
And I've noticed I turned my notifications off from Instagram
and all that, and that has helped tremendously because it's
(10:07):
not getting the ding for it anymore. So it's only
when I choose to go on it, you know. It's
like those little things that I've noticed really with me personally,
do you have any like go to when you're not
feeling your your best, like go to self care? You're like, oh,
this will make me feel better. Let's see what does
my go to self care? UM. Lately, I've really gotten
(10:28):
into breathwork, which is something I have you done it.
I've heard so much about it from so many people,
and I hear it's incredible, but I've never done it.
It's really powerful, it's and it's the kind of thing
again that like when I first did it the very
first time, I was kind of like, all right, that
was kind of relaxing, cool, Like I don't know what
everybody's the big hype is. But then as I kept
(10:50):
doing it, and now it's like a daily practice. I
I do it every morning for like, oh like ten
to fifteen minutes. It's not a breaking my schedule, but
I've just found it has made an immense difference in
my anxiety because I am once a day like calming
my nervous system. Again, it's not just this woo boo stuff.
(11:10):
It's science, like you're actually changing the chemistry and your
body when you're oxygen eating yourselves and taking this time
to like reset your nervous system. It's something I do
before I go on stage every night now so that
those like those like adrenaline pumps that I'm getting that
are so strong and sometimes cause me to be a
little bit out of whack when I first step on stage.
It it literally just resets everything. So I don't know,
(11:33):
breathwork has been a huge, like maintenance practice in my
life right now. But also if I feel like I'm
starting to have an anxiety moment, just that reset of
being able to do some of these simple like even
if you know, a simple breath that I do often
is where you take three breaths in and one breath out,
so just like, oh fun, that's fun to do that. Yeah,
(11:55):
it's kind of fun. You do it to the beat
of a song, um that's in four or four time,
and it like works perfectly, and it's amazing how how
much it has helped my anxiety. So that's my go
to Okay, I need I have anxiety too, and O
c D. So I need to get on this because
I know what it's like having a nervous system out
of whack. Are always in fight or flight, So I
(12:15):
need to calm I need to calm her sometimes we
all do. And I think our world is riddled with
anxiety these days, you know, And how is it not?
How is it not some of us worse than others.
But it's like you know, anything, you know, I don't know.
I've tried medication at times, that breath work is the
most helpful thing I've ever done. That's so interesting because
(12:35):
I have been really trying to figure out what works
for me and you know, maintaining that and it's it's
hard to continually work on it. But something I've been
doing that my friend recommends is I named my anxiety um.
Her name is Jojo Um, and I'm just like, Jojo,
We're good, Jojo, stop it. We're so good, Jojo, you
(12:55):
don't need to mess things up for me. And I
noticed it kind of helps because I'm putting it's kind
of separating in my brain, like, oh, it's not me.
I love that. And I did the same thing with
my eating disorder. I called it ed um perfect and
I yeah, and it does. There is something really relieving
about realizing that this is just a piece of you.
(13:15):
It's not you, it's not even it's really what the
world has done to you. So it's not even you,
and it compartmentalizes it. And it's nice to have something
to be like like ed not today. I do not
believe what you're telling me about myself. You know, Jojo,
what are you doing? Pull it together? You know, it's
little things like that, But I love, and I love
being able to talk about it with people because I
(13:37):
feel like once I started having these like open dialogues
with my friends, it truly made me feel so much better, like, oh,
my goodness, I'm not the only person going through it,
because when you're going through it can feel so isolating. Absolutely,
it really can. And I think one of the best
things I ever did for my recovery when I was
antarexic was going to a group therapy, Terrified absolutely terrified
(13:59):
love therapy. It was on campus, and I found out
through a counselor on campus that they had the secret
group that met and it was like a basement so
no one would know where we were. Um, it was
terrifying to go, but like one of the most powerful
things was to sit in a room with other women
who had never met before and share them expressed the
same thoughts that I had in my head that I
(14:20):
thought were so crazy and so isolating. And you know,
there's a lot of power in just community. There really is.
And you noticed when someone says I mean, you're like, oh,
you feel that too, so do I. And it's it's
taking that first step to just say something, which is
often the hardest thing um. Something that I am really
inspired by is I know you talked about doing ballroom
(14:43):
dance as like a release, and I started to I
signed up for a tap dance class this semester, but
I've never danced before in my life, and it's with
dance majors and people have taps since they were two,
and I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm having
so much fun. So I was wondering you have that
same release with ballroom dancing where you kind of can't worry,
you kind of have to focus on what you're doing. Absolutely,
(15:06):
I think it's really important to one like have an
outlet something like that where you get to you really
have to, like you said, focus and it takes you
out of whatever you're living in on your day to day.
But also, I think there's something so great about being
a consistent student in life, like the ability to try
something new and realize that like, Okay, I'm going to
(15:28):
be kind of bad at this for a while because
I'm just learning and oh my gosh, is they're teaching
me this step it feels impossible. I think that is
such an important feeling to consistently have as a human
because as we're as we grow as adults, we just
get so so comfortable being comfortable, and we get really
uncomfortable being bad at things. Like kids are fine falling,
(15:50):
They're fine if they suck at something, and they're like
they're like, it's okay, I'm I'm just learning. Of course
I suck, but adults aren't good at that. And so
you know, like yeah, in a ballroom or I've recently
started taking a trapeze class, like so you know, so uncomfortable.
So um odd I love it though, but I really
(16:10):
think there's so much value in And also you have
to really focus because and it does pull you out
of your head because you're like, I have to focus
on this or I'm gonna trip on my shoe or
I'm going to fall off this areal apparatus. You know. Literally,
I've been trying to live by doing one thing a
day that makes me uncomfortable. Oh and it's honestly made
me live more life than I ever have because I've
(16:32):
been really putting myself out there. Can you tell me
an example? Oh, of course, Um, I asked someone out
for coffee, which I've never done before. Um. When and
this was a little bit terrifying. But in my tap class,
my teacher pointed at me and told me to do
the dance routine in front of everybody. Did I want
to shoot my pants a bit? Yes, but didn't make
me feel uncomfortable? And absolutely did so we got everything
(16:55):
that made us uncomfortable on the way. So it's just
like little things that I do throughout the day, just
like for me socially, anxiety can cause. So I've been
trying to put myself in social situations. So whether that's
I went to a party by myself, which I've never
done before, but I actually had the best time. So
it's just been it's been a lot, but it's been good. Yeah,
good for you. I'm going to take that. I don't
(17:16):
know if I will have the courage to do it
every day. That's bold, just one thing, it could be
so small. I think it's amazing. Just one Okay, Okay,
I could but I love that. I think that's amazing.
It's fun. I've been really trying to the goal for
myself for this year is to try and be the
best person I can be and try and you know,
grow as much as I can. And I've been doing
(17:37):
my life in three months increments where I feel like
when I plan something for three months, I'm a completely
different person. So it's been helpful to do it in
those bits I find. Yeah, oh that's so good. I
love it. I want to talk about trapeezing because I
know you are going on tour and you're releasing a
Christmas album, which is Can we talk about how fast
the holidays came this year? Oh my gosh, I cannot
(17:59):
believe that we're almost in spooky season. Like, yeah, do
you have any Halloween costumes planned? You know, I am
the kind of person I have a costume shed amazing
just of like so many costumes from music videos and tours.
I love costumes, so I keep them all. Um, I'm
like a costume hoarder. I guess you could say, but
it's a great I'm not gonna lie. I know. I
(18:21):
always tell my friends, if you don't know what to be,
come over. We'll play dress up. So, um, I don't
know what I'm gonna be, but we're gonna be a
tour rehearsals. So I'm planning on throwing a like a
Halloween party after a long day of Christmas tour rehearsals.
I absolutely love that we have to take a quick break,
but when we come back, I want to talk about
your new album snow Waltz and the crazy stuff you're
(18:44):
going to be doing on tour, and it has to
do with track peezing. We'll be right back and we're back.
Your new album, snow Waltz comes out so soon. And
I know you described this album as a whimsical, pixie
like feeling. That's quintessentially me. Can you please expand on
(19:08):
that because I love how that's phrased. Well, thank you. Um.
You know, this is actually my second Christmas album, and
my first one I really leaned into like what does
Christmas iconically sound like? You know? So I had some
big band songs in there, and I was trying to
really lean into the traditional sound of Christmas. And this
time I was like, actually, I want Christmas to come
(19:29):
a little bit into my world. And so, um, I
do feel like this album is still sounds like Christmas,
but it also sounds very much like me and like whimsical.
I I just cannot wait to like take it on
the tour and get to share like pixie dust with
people every night. So you are going to be trappeezing
while playing the violin, you must be incredible at multitasking. Well,
(19:54):
you know what I found is in order to multitask,
you just have to know each skill so much that
you don't have to think about them, and they become one.
I guess. So I was like, learned the violin parts
and then whether it's choreography or trappeezing. Um, I learned
that super well, and then I learned them together slowly,
(20:15):
and because I actually I am not a great multitasker,
but if you can connect the two so they become
one skill. Because if you think about it, like when
I play the violin, one arm is doing something completely
different than the other hand, but they become one so
that they're synonymous. And so if the choreography becomes one
with the playing, then I'm not multitasking anymore. My body
(20:36):
just knows the assignment for every move, you know what
I mean. That's so awesome. So how has tell me
how how has trappeezing been? What is that process been? Like?
It's been so fun. It started out like, you know,
super uncomfortable and like a little bit scary as you're
like up in the air holding onto these ropes, and
just hoping that your balance is good. But um, you
(20:58):
know now that I'm like a little more comfortable out
there and I learned how to like do certain positions
where I can play and stuff. It's just so fun.
I've definitely gotten the aerial bug now. And two of
my dancers were like, that looks like a lot of fun.
We'd love to do it too, So they now go
up in the air too, Like we've just all been,
you know, we've been rehearsing and getting stronger, and it's
there's something very empowering about it too. I've never been
(21:20):
super strong, like in my upper body, like I could
never do a pull up, and suddenly I'm I'm getting
strong And so there's something that's really like exciting and
empowering about like what your body can do when you
push it absolutely. And I know you talked about your
struggle with eating disorders. Isn't that even more empowering with
how much you've overcome and to be able to feel
(21:40):
strong in your body, has that just been even more
of a full circle moment for yourself? A percent? And
I remember when I was first trying to get through
my anorexia. Um, one of the things I really focused
on was thanking my body for what it could do,
instead of seeing it as this like visual picture that
I was always trying to shrink and trying to disappear into.
(22:03):
It was like, my body allows me to walk, it
allows me to you know, um, you know. And at
the time, I wasn't much of a dancer. But since
then and I always try to really think about that,
like my body is not an object, it's a tool,
and it allows me too much. And the more I've
learned to focus on the what I can do and
(22:23):
train my body to be, the less I have because
of course I'm like past andrexia, but there's always that
little part of my brain that there's always the voice
I had to tell ed to go away. I don't
believe that anymore. And the more I've worked on my
my skills with my body, the easier it is to
tell him to get the heck out of here. I
(22:43):
love having tools in your tool kit. It's so autome,
and I'd like to think of my brain as a
toolbox and I'm just filling it with tools. Love that.
So something that I think is very inspiring to me
is I know you're an independent artist and you're constantly
creating and innovating, And I was wondering, when you're going
into creating a project, what is the creative process, Like
(23:07):
do you generally have a theme in mind or a
general idea or things you want to implement in your
project or how does it generally go about when you're
creating something and wanting to innovate a space. You know,
it all depends. I do love a theme though. That's
why I like Christmas albums are so fun. Is like
there's a very understood theme that everyone gets and we
(23:27):
get to use the from the theme. Um, you know what.
I've done that on several albums, Like I wrote my
last original album was called Artemis and I actually decided
I wanted the theme to be this like fantastical story
and I wrote a comic book so that like the
album and the artwork and the music videos and the
tour could like center around this theme and the red
hair thank you. I love red hair. Um. It's like
(23:51):
really fun when you can create like a palette and
then you get to just bring it to life in
different mediums, Like making the music videos is so fun,
you know, for that Artemus album or making the tour flow,
like feeling like I got to tell a little bit
of the story. Um so so yeah. To me, I
think it all comes a lot from like storytelling. I've
always been a storyteller. My dad like like taught me
(24:15):
how to tell stories from the time I was little
because he was a writer and loved storytelling. And so
I think that's where a lot of my creativity really
thrives is when I find a way to make it
feel like the music is a narrative or you know,
like I'm writing to create a feeling of a story
or an arc of a story. There's something so magical
about that to me and always has been. So you've
(24:37):
done comic books, You've composed what's the next element of
storytelling that you want to go down? What's the next
endeavor for you? The next endeavor? Um, you know, I've
I've always wanted to well, I've always wanted to compose
music for like a score, like a film. And I
(24:57):
think you know, John Williams, I think is the greatest
musical storyteller of our time. He's inspired me so much,
and so I'd love to write like theme music, manifest
put it out there. Yes, I'm a big manifesto. I've
been trying to get into it, and I've noticed when
I feel like I've been putting out good vibes, good
vibes come back. So we're seeing how it goes. I
(25:18):
love it. It's so true though, it's like what you
put into the world is what comes back. It's also
what you're going to look for. It's very much what
you look for, you know, if you're focusing. Yeah, like
the good and the bad and the positive and the negative.
They're all around us simultaneously all the time, and it's
just what have you trained your mind to see? Um,
are you going to pick out the good? Are you
going to focus on the bad? And you know, and
(25:39):
it changes your life depending on which one you're looking for. Yeah,
So how do you stay creative without getting into a funk?
Because that is something that I've struggled with quite a bit. Yes, Um,
and funks are the worst it is, and it's like inevitable,
It's like, yeah, it happens, and um, so I definitely
get into funks and sometimes it's just a matter of
(26:02):
being kind to myself when I'm in it and not,
you know, just reminding myself that is a part of
the process. Like when I'm in writing mode and I
feel like I'm just writing bad song after bad song
after bad song, I'm like, you know what this happens.
We've been here before. We know that the good stuff
will eventually come, you know, So like be kind to myself.
(26:22):
That's kind of the the mantra of the Funk because
it's like the harder I am on myself and the
more I like get angry, you know, my why are
I being better? Like, it's only going to slow down
the process. It's like any emotion, you just gotta feel it,
experience it, and then it will move on. You know.
Have you noticed that living life has helped get help
you get out of creative funks because you're pulling more
(26:45):
from your life experience than just supposed to forcing yourself
to write. I think so. I think sometimes, Um, like
I just read this amazing book called The Happiness Advantage,
and he talks in the book about how, you know,
we have this mindset so many times that we just
got to push through and we just gotta like grit
(27:06):
down and like get through it and keep working. But
he says that if you do small, tiny things and
it's not like you even have to go on a
huge vacation or take a month off work or like
do anything big like that. Like little tiny things that
just like give you a burst of happiness, whether it's
like going to your favorite like restaurant for lunch in
the middle of the day, like just to kind of
(27:26):
pull yourself out of something, or um listening to your
favorite song and taking five minutes to dance around your
house before you leave to an important meeting. Like what
that does to your body, um and your mind is
game changing, and it gives you a huge advantage in
like the workplace even or in just your mental health.
Like tiny bursts of happiness. And so I've like kind
(27:47):
of tried to like implement this into my life, and
it's been really cool to see how I can work
longer in sessions, i can be more creatively a tune
when I'm kind of taking little breaks, which is not
intuitive to me. I have for a long time time
was always like, no, you work, you work, you work,
you go, you go, you go until you figure it out.
But there's so much more power that comes when you
take a little break. Yeah, reset yourself, get some sunlight,
(28:10):
have a snack, then go back in and you're gonna
be so much more effective than if you just like
powered through. I agree, And I feel like we're also
living in a society where hustle and grind culture is
so like it's good to wake up at three am
to get your days started and stay up till midnight
and work so hard and do all that. But it's
like that's just not how our bodies function, and we
(28:30):
need sleep and to give ourselves rest. And I feel
like people don't really talk about it, like sleep is cool, guys,
you should sleep, Like going to sleep early, sleep is cool.
I love that. And you know, I just feel like
there's this need whenever anyone's like what are you up to?
What's going on? You feel like you have to the
best answer is like I am so exhausted. Oh my gosh,
(28:51):
I'm just working so hard and there's so much happening.
I could bear like, you know, that's like the answer.
That's like the cool answer. I feel like it has
been for years. But why not just be like I'm
up to nothing? And it's kind of great. You know
what I've loved lately that if I like, if I
have stuff, I'll tell peop about it. But in those times,
so maybe I'm in between projects. I've learned to like
be really okay with being like, you know, I'm kind
(29:12):
of in between stuff right now, but like I'm happy.
I'm doing good. That's like my favorite answer to give
is not even to talk about what I'm doing or
how tired I am or if I am tired, but
just saying like I'm actually like in a good place,
like I'm I'm happy. And it's funny to see people's
response if you say, like, if your answer is that
I'm I'm happy, like, oh, you know, it's it's a
(29:33):
very intriatum. Tell me more, um, you know, or if
it doesn't have to be that I'm happy, be like,
oh man, it's you know, it could be whatever it is.
But talking about how you're actually doing rather than what
you're doing is like a shift for I think a
lot of people, especially in the entertainment space, when it's
so much about like what are you working on next?
What do you do? Anyway, it's not just like, you know,
I'm actually pretty content right now, like really, yeah, I'm fulfilled. Yeah,
(30:00):
and for no reason, I'm just like I'm just happy
and they're like, oh that's good. Yeah, I wouldn't be
like that. Yeah, okay, we have to take one more
quick break. But when we come back, I want to
talk all about touring, including how it affects your mental health,
the good and the bad. We'll be right back and
(30:25):
we're back. So when you're on tour, would you say
tour has been like good for your mental health and
the travel or it does it weigh on your mental
health a bit because I can't imagine like going from
city to city performing all the time. Or do you
just like love it and is that how you feed
off your energy? I kind of love it. Well that's good,
(30:46):
I do. I thank Heavin's. I would not do it
nearly as much as I do if I hadn't realized
early on that like, oh my gosh, I love this. Um,
you know, I love entertaining. I feel like it's kind
of what I was born to do, was to get
out there and put on a show. It's it's just
who I've always been. But I think the most important
thing that makes me love it is UM the people
(31:07):
I tour with, Like I I really have a family
and UM. And it's funny because I don't have a
family of my own in my home, Like I have
friends in l A and I like my people that
I love, but like I feel almost like when I
go on tour, I'm going home to a family. Um
that you know, because some of these guys and these
you know, some of the guys have been with me
(31:27):
for ten years, and my dancers have been with me
from anywhere from eight to four years. Um. So it's
like we really are a family and we have our
own we have our own Christmas traditions at this point
because we've toured so many times through Christmas and so um.
I think aside from the fact that I love performing,
I love putting on a show, it's the fact that
I can go to sleep at night on my tour bus,
(31:50):
you know, like a sleepover with my friends on the bus,
And that makes all the difference to me. That's so
much fun. Are you so excited to go back on tour.
I'm so excited, lindsay, I need to see the show.
I'm so excited to see you. I want to see
you Trappee's in the air. Oh yeah, come back to
a show. We'll get your tickets. Oh that would be
so cool. So are you so excited to just trap
(32:11):
peas in front of so many people or you a
little well, we did it last Christmas. Um, that was
like our our little maiden journey to see how it felt.
And it worked and and it was great. And so
we're going to all new cities this year's and we've
also had time to like home the craft a little
bit more. So I'm I'm very you're an expert. I'm
(32:32):
a quote unquote sure, I'm expert ish enough to do
in front of audiences. So um, because like, yeah, I
wouldn't I wouldn't be able to go up in the
air in front of a crowd if I was still afraid,
you know what I mean, if I was like afraid
of falling, Like I could not do that in front
of a crowd. But now that I'm like very comfortable,
and I'm like, I feel strong, I feel confident, like
(32:55):
I'm ready. I love that. Are you doing any other
d I wise for this tour? So many? I, um,
you know, I'll be making a violin something cool. I'm
not sure what. But I'm also super involved in the costuming,
so I've like, um, you know, costumes all over my
house of like bits and pieces that I've been piecing
together and then I basically, once I pieced them all
(33:16):
together and pinned things, I like send it to a
seamstress and then she makes it so that it's not
going to fall apart. But like, I love costuming. It's
something that I get a lot of joy in. Again,
it's like Kraft night. Yeah, I saw you made a
skirt out of your curtains and I was so impressed.
I was like, how did you do this? That was
(33:38):
you know, that was a moment of necessity. Like I
had ordered a dress for a music video and then
it just kept not coming and not coming, and it
kept saying it was coming, and the night before it
still hadn't arrived. And I got home and it wasn't there,
and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's nine o'clock at night.
What am I going to wear tomorrow? And I was
like laying in bed and I like looked at my
curtains and it was like the sound of music moment.
(33:59):
You know, it's like a favorite things. Um So yeah,
I was like, oh my gosh. I just basically pinned
it to a skirt and like draped the fabric and anyways,
it ended up looking really great. It was like the
perfect ideal situation. I didn't have to ruin the they're
actually back in my room. They were Anthropology curtains, So
I was like, I'm not going to ruin my curtains.
Never not Anthropology curtains. Never not Anthropology. It's like designer
(34:25):
wear for your window. Literally, So I was like, I
don't want to ruin them. So I just like unhooked them,
pinned them up, unpinned it at the video, and like
carefully placed them back up. Like goodness, I'm so excited
for the holiday sales that are about to come from Anthropology.
The candles have some fun stuff, their home to Core,
(34:45):
their dresses, everything is so magical. They're their home to
Core is what I hope my future house to be like.
It will like I'm it's just going to be color.
It's going to be a pink couch. Like I just know,
there's just gonna be fun. Yes, so like so feminine,
I guess is what I think draws me in. It's fun,
it's whimsical, and I feel like I feel like that
(35:08):
you can't find it's hard to find nowadays, it is. Yeah,
everything is so dark and dark colors. I'm like, where's
the color at Yeah, everybody's into neutrals and like a
very basic palette. Um basic like patterns. But I'm like, oh,
well give me some flooras need some color. Yeah, sparkle, oh,
sparkle anything and it will make it better. That is
(35:28):
my life motto. You got to absolutely Lindsay, thank you
so much for taking the time to come on my podcast,
and everyone go listen to her second Christmas album, snow Walls.
It is Oh my goodness, I'm so excited and I'm
excited to see you hopefully live. That will be incredible. Yes,
oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for such
a great conversation. I loved all the things. I'm going
(35:49):
to try to do something uncomfortable every day. I love that. Yeah,
thank God for that. Thank you of course, thank you
so much. Lindsay was so lovely getting to talk to you.
You too, have a wonderful rest of your day because
luck with college. Thank you. I will make it through.
You are, You're gonna be great. Okay, bye bye
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