April 28, 2023 • 28 mins
Can you embrace your partner’s kid with their ex or new partner as your own? OR are you not the one? The ladies talk having a healthy MATURE blended familias full of communication and compassion. Salute to Pancho Cortez who’s viral TikTok inspired this convo and salute Cardi B for showing us how it’s done.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born
and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and
I'm a body positive advocate.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm Carolina Bermudez soy Nika went but I was born
and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama, and
a worker bee.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
This is life in spanglish. Carolina. You know I love
me a TikTok And every night I scrollscross croll and
I saw this viral TikTok which shows a Latino father
and stepfather and they're showing off their blended families and
how we're supposed to do it the right way. And
they're talking about what babysitting the baby, mama's other kid.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Okay, so you're my TikTok correspondent because you know I
don't mess with TikTok. I don't need anybody stealing my data.
I'm if you guys ever listen to me. You guys
know that I'm just like really not as savvy on
social media as I wish I was. I'm getting better, honey, right,
I'm getting Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
You are you You've made It's so much progress in
the past few years. Girls, I have a medal for you.
I'm gonna pin it right on your lapel when I
see you next. But nah, you know it's the TikTok.
Was like when your baby mama drops off your son
and the other one that's not yours. So he was babysitting. Well,
I don't I don't like using the term babysitting when
parents take care of the kids, but in this instant,
(01:21):
he was a baby watching his son, and he was
also going to watch the son of another man that
she has. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I saw that you sent this to me and full transparency.
I was so touched by this because I thought, what
a beautiful thing. I think it's such a beautiful thy well,
because you know, traditionally, like in our culture, you know,
you look at these like Latino machismo, like, you know,
just stereotypes of men who you know, it's always okay
for the man to have on a Monday or you know,
(01:53):
to have like many mistresses and to have kids here,
there and everywhere. But here's a stand up dude, you
know that is not only taking care of his baby,
but also taking care of that baby's sibling because that
baby is going to grow up with this other child
as it's brother. And I think that is just such
a selfless, beautiful, wonderful example of how to be a man.
(02:18):
And now I did when you sent me this link.
I went and I was like comment creeping, and I
was trying to like read through because it was funny.
There were so many men who were commenting that were like,
not me, bra not me, you know what I mean, Like,
I'm not the one. My wife wouldn't be able to
do this to me. And I just thought it takes
(02:38):
a really big, big person because it happens on the
other side too, honey. I mean, let's be honest, it's
a rarity that you see it with men.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
It is. But once you strip off all that machismo,
all the pride, because it's just like, that's it. We've
moved on. Yeah, that's somebody that was part of her
life before, but you're the new partner now.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Well. I do think that there has to be a
level of trust between the partners, and I do think
that at a certain point there has to be some communication.
That's what I wanted. I wanted to know the backstory.
I wish this was like a Maury Povitch or something
it wasn't enough for me. No, I wanted to feel
(03:20):
like I wanted to hear the real history there, Like,
you know, how did this baby come about? Like was
it a previous relationship, was she married? You know, like
why did they break up? There are so many other factors,
but at the end of the day, that this guy
is taking that one step that is probably going to
change the rest of both of those kids' life. Because
(03:42):
think about it, honey, you know my siblings. I have
several siblings who are divorced. Some of them are divorced,
but they haven't had any other relationships, but their exes
have other relationships. Okay, So if you are I guess
I would say, if you are being a contrarian, or
(04:02):
if you're a person who is not accepting of this
your child's half sibling, you're already creating a divide between them.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
You're already a horrible asked person. Because who got me
for kids?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Hello? Right? No, people do though. I mean you know
that people are petty.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Come on, I know, but as an adult, come on,
you gotta let that go. Man, for the sake of
your child and their relationship with their sibling.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Well, but you know what too, I think that it's
there had to be a conversation. This was kind of
what I was getting at, but I don't know if
I really like expressed it correctly. There had to be
a conversation between this guy, the guy on TikTok Pancho, Yeah,
and the ex There had to be a one on
one in my mind when I created this movie, because
(04:49):
I did create the whole movie, Like.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I see.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
With this shit, I know, well, you know, and that's
where I feel like they got together and discussed and said, like,
are we gonna be men and like put all of
this extraneous stuff and all of these other things aside
for the betterment of our children, or are we gonna
be the type that like you have to drop off
the kid half a block away or at the McDonald's
because they can't see each other, because then they're gonna
(05:16):
be fighting, and then they're gonna traumatize these child. You
see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I know exactly what you say. Talk about meet me
halfway and arrest stop and I'll give you the baby
carriage and I'll give you a car seat. Nah, people
shouldn't live like that. It's like, if you decide you're
gonna have a blended family. Let it be cohesive, Let
it be peaceful, let it be loving. This family makes
me proud Carolina, very very proudus for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And I know that you know, we're celebrating the fact
that it's men. But there was an article that came
out in Vanity Fair. It was Giselle Blunchin's first interview
after her breakup with Tom and it was really eye
opening to hear from her perspective everything that went on
in their relationship. And if you have time, like go
(06:00):
read it, you can find it now because it came
out a couple of months ago. But she was talking
about how when she and Tom Brady first met, they
were set up on a blind date. She met him
and immediately she was like, oh my gosh, like this
is the guy. Well, then tom Brady dropped the bomb
on her and was like, well, my ex girlfriend is
(06:21):
pregnant with my first child. And instead of running away
or being combative with Bridget moynihan, who is Tom Brady's
ex who he had his first child with, Giselle dove
head In, she embraced it. You know, she said, listen,
it wasn't like easy. It wasn't an easy road from
the very beginning, but she immediately looked at that child
(06:43):
as a bonus child. Now Here, I'm thinking, if you
go back to a pueblo and you go to any neighborhood,
you'll see two women fighting because their man had a
baby with both of them and they can't stand each
other and they can't be in the same store. So
she really created and fostered this environment that was really beautiful,
(07:04):
not only for this child, but also for her two
children that she had with Tom Brady after that. Do
you see what I mean? So I feel like this
is like it should be more normal.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
It should be like let's say Carti Carti married Offset
and Offset has other children, and when she does her
holiday picture, she puts all the kids in there. She
doesn't just do her son and her daughter. She embraced
her husband and his children. And that means that her
daughter culture has grown up with her siblings because she's
not out here trying to beef with whoever his exes are.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And what a beautiful thing that is, though, right, because
like she could very well say to Offset, no, this
is our family and culture, and I think the little
baby is wave right, is that the wa wave. What
a cute name. She could very well be like, Nah,
do that on your own time. Those aren't my kids.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
They well could be yeah, rightfully. So you think about it,
it's like, nah, you do your thing with your kids.
I'll do my thing with mine. I'm not having all
your other kids in my Christmas picture. But she's not
doing that. But again, that's love, that's maturity, and that's
the direction we need to go in. We need to
leave all those old ghetto ways that we used to
have before. We need to gave them shits in the
(08:18):
past and the hood fighting with other bitches, Na, my fault.
Your man came over here, made me a baby, you
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Like more, And it's like, you know, all of those
like and I know that this is like a catchy
phrase or whatever, but all of those like generational traumas
of the past, you know, like and this is stuff
that we have seen in nob elas, in our real
lives and lives in our you know, just in anybody's family.
I guarantee you you could go and you could find
(08:44):
you know that somebody has an illegitimate child here. And
when I say illegitimate I'm using air quotes. You know.
Unfortunately you can't see us on a podcast because that's
what that's what children used to be called. Every child
is legitimate. Every child right now.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
They call them break babies, babies, old babies. That's what
I ended Lala and Carmelo's marriage.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Wait what yeah, Mello wait.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Had a whole nother baby on Lalla And she was like,
I'm out of here.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
No he did. I wait, by the way, twenty it's
twenty twenty three, ladies and gentlemen, and I am first
learning about this. I'm going to my correspondent, Honey German
with the tea. Wait, I had no I thought they
had a little boy. Didn't they have a little boy.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh yeah, he's a teenager now. But but mellow one
had a whole nother baby on Lalla. She was not
having it. That's when she walked away from the marriage.
Why am I thinking of Stacy dash right now? Carolina?
When she said, wait, DMX died, this is.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Super Now, I swear to you, I never heard that.
Maybe I've never heard that, but you know what did
just come to mind? And what just popped into my mind?
And after we go to break I'm going to bring
up somebody who may not be as popular in people's minds,
But I'm going to tell you somebody else who's doing
this the right way after this, So I know they're
(09:59):
polarizing and a lot of people have something to say.
Everybody has something to say about the Kardashians.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh right, now here.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Well no, but when you were just telling me about
Laala and Mellow, I had no idea that he had
another child.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
The baby's five already, she's cute. It was a real
big thing in New York because I think the mother
of his kid was like a New York girl.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh I don't Yeah, I did not catch that in
the headlines, but clearly everybody knows. Chloe Kardashian had her
baby true with Tristan Thompson, and then she found out that,
you know, they were having another baby while he had
a whole other baby with who wasn't the trainer girl.
I think so the other woman. But now when you
(10:43):
look and you see Chloe Kardashian completely allowing this man
not only to come into the delivery room, which is
much bigger than I would have been, but also having
the kids together with her ex, I guess I don't
even know what you would call him now with her
baby's father. You know, I think that that's where you
(11:05):
truly become an adult. You become a responsible adult. You
become a loving parent because you want your children to
not witness that kind of tension or drama, you know
what I mean, Like you basically think it's bigger than me.
I need these kids to have their father in their life.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
And you know what Carolyna is speaking from personal experience.
My mom married my stepdad when she already had four kids.
There was four of us when she married my stepdad,
and this man came in and he had no problems
with my real dad coming over. They were in the
same room. There was no drama. My stepdad was mature,
(11:46):
he was loving. And it's possible. It can be done,
but it requires a group of people. You know that
all are all in agreement that we want to be
a blended family and we want to be respectful towards
each other.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I think respect is the big part. And you know,
just going back to the TikToker that you told me
about this Bancho, Bancho Bancho, I love that name.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
You gotta make Bancho a movie.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Carolina. Come on, I love him.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You should connects in Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Hello, please. I no, but you know I love what
he said about it that sometimes he'll take his son
and you know, the bonus baby as I like to
call them. Well, he'll say to them, oh, they want
to go out sometimes, and you know, maybe they'll look
for a sitter. And instead of having them look for
a sitter, if I have my son anyway, I tell them,
let me take little man. And I'm like, that is
(12:33):
such a generous, big thing to do, because not only
are you helping, Like, listen, I have done the sitter thing,
and it is difficult. It is so hard to find
a reliable babysitter. But the thing for me that's even
bigger than this is that you know, both of those
children are going into a home where they are going
to be loved, They're going to be supervised. You don't
(12:55):
have to stress about somebody treating your child differently because
they're not your kid. Do you know what I'm saying now,
I know exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Your kid is safe. You can go out and enjoy yourself.
You'll be fine. Listen. I'm all for taking care of
the kids. What I'm not doing is I'm not becoming
friends when nobody knew whife, I got my own girlfriends.
Don't force your woman on me. I'll help you with
the kid. But it stops right there.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Well, you wouldn't have you wouldn't have a friendship with
another woman if oh.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
What, girl, I got my girlfriends, I got my sisters.
I don't need to be homieswitch your baby mond? What
is a sister wives? I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't know if I feel like unless you're in
that situation, you don't know what you're capable of doing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Krolina, you cannot be friends with someone that you knew.
Mark used to put it down on girl. No, you
don't want that in your house. You don't want her
drinking out of your glass wines. You can't even turn
around without them web looking at each other.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Funny, No girls together for a reason, a girl.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But don't they ubca im?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Okay, I was gonna say, oh my gosh, there is
a famous saying that my mom.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yes, Karlena, do you watch sex Life? That show? I'm like,
I said, Carolina has to watch this. I said, Carolena
has to watch this. She's a mom.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, but I get horned up all the time. Anyway,
I do not need to get you.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Know, it's I listen to me. We get penis shots.
We never get penis shots in any shows, Carolina. You
got to watch. No one even be like, oh, come on,
nobody want to see no dicks. I'm like, but let
us live. We never get shows, I guess, but no,
it's a lot about you know, exes, relationships, children, marriage.
(14:39):
I feel like it's very much in the lines of
what we're talking about right here, just with some good
ass sex scenes.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, I have to get on it. My friends are appalled,
they can't believe that I've never seen it. But you know,
I just want to shout out for anybody that's listening
right now and you're making this happen, you know, I
know it can't be easy. It cannot be an easy thing.
And just referencing back to that article, you know with Giselle,
she said that it took a lot of work. It
takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of time.
(15:05):
But if you are fighting the good fight, just know
that in the end, your kids are going to be
way better off for it, and you're going to be
able to find peace and happiness too, truly, because that tension,
that negativity is so toxic and it will affect you
in some way. That's stress, you know what I mean.
So it's like, do yourself the favor and even just
(15:28):
try to explore if you're in a situation like this,
to see what could happen, Well, what could happen if
I did if I was a little more accepting, or
if I could be a little bit of a bigger person,
you know, And I'm not cutting anybody down, but it
does take a really big person to put their feelings
aside and be selfless for their kids.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
You gotta love kids, Carolina. Above all, you gotta love kids,
because for some men, even having to have their kid
is already an issue. Oh man, I can't go outside.
The homies want us weed. This one's here. I can't
even smoke. I can't even drink. So you gotta love kids,
and you gotta be at a certain level in your maturity.
But if you're doing this, trust me when I tell you,
(16:10):
you're cutting out drama for these kids and they're not
having to witness, you know, aggressive violent behavior and even
the fighting. People think that doesn't affect kids, it does,
even you saying, oh, I don't want his brother here.
Oh what do you think? This is? All of that
creates trauma for your child. So if you're being accepting
and loving, you're doing an amazing job. You're out here
(16:31):
doing God's work.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Period. Well you know what you could look And I mean,
I know we bring her up all the time. But
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Alfleck, that one, they've already blended
their kids. They say that they're operating like a family already.
But La Latina, you know what I mean like that,
I would never zero zero question in my mind that
that is the influence of Jlo. You know what I mean,
(16:53):
like that she's working with Jennifer Garner and that they're
trying to create the stable, beautiful life for all of
these kids to live. And you know who was the
couple that said, oh you remember, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
You were consciously I'm gonna consciously young couple.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I don't know why I thought about the bone broth
immediately when you said Gwyneth.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Pops, no, no, no, no no. Everybody was clowning her because
of the bone broth. But no, there are another couple
who broke up that basically said, look like, just because
our relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean that we
can't provide a stable, beautiful life for our children. We're
going to move on and we're going to have I
think she's married and he's still dating Dakota Johnson, but
(17:39):
you know, look at them. They're an example of a
successful co parenting relationship. And you know what, I'm even
gonna throw out Nick Cannon out there, who has been
in the news for wanting to have as many children
as he possibly can. He has spoken about how wonderful
Mariah Carey is in their co parenting relationship and how
(17:59):
welcome she is and they're twins, and how great that
whole situation has worked out.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Girl, I want somebody to talk about me. To wait
this man talks about did he say she's like a
gift from God?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yes, he did. He said he was, like I basically
had posters of this woman up in my bedroom when I.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Saw that talking about manifesting that ass.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Oh my gosh. But no, like you know, and I
feel like it's one of those situations where you say, well,
if they can do it, I can do it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Now they got money, stop it. When you get the hood.
Motherfuckers don't want to pay child support, the drama is
gonna be thick. Don't you dare bring this other kid
in here when you ain't pay child support in six months?
You want me to get ghetto for you?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Well, you know that's right.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Bring the reality to to madam.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
No, I will. I'll take the l on that one.
You are so right because money makes a huge difference.
And when we come back, guys, we're gonna dive into
this a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Now, Carolyna, you know what I always like to take
it back to El Campo. Yeah, yeah, I learned a
lot from my grandparents. And I hope I'm not miss
speaking here, but my grandmother raised two children that were
not hers.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
My grandfather brought a child and said, I found this
girl by the river. We're gonna raise her.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Boom, that's my.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Thea I am pento because was that his baby from
another from another woman?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
That one I'm still kind of like up in the
air about. But I do have an uncle that my
grandfather brought home a boy and said, oh, they gave
me this kid to raise girl. And my grandmother being
the Santa that she was.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Oh God bless her.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Took the kid in no drama, raised the kid. This
kid grew up to be my grandfather's twin. Wow, and
he's my uncle, and we know he is my grandfather's son.
So this this whole you know, like helping a child thing,
It could change someone's life, because who's to know where
(20:07):
my aunt and uncle would be if my grandfather wouldn't
have I don't know how he got hold of them,
but brought them to Maguela. But Maguela was like, you
know what, I don't know what the backstory is, but
these kids are little angels. They don't have nothing to
do with whatever mess you're involved in. Bring them here,
get on the comendos commentres. But then my grandmother had
(20:28):
nine kids.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
So wow, Gerio Lavendiga, because that is something that a
lot of women could not do. You know, I think
that in co parenting situations, which you know, neither of
us are in these. But like I mentioned before, my
siblings are divorced and they are in you know, these
(20:49):
types of situations. And the one thing that I remember
my sister always saying is that she loves her her
kids more than she hates her ex. And I thought
that statement, that statement is so real because if you
poor love, if you're focused on love, then the hate
(21:09):
takes a back seat. And there are so many people
who are so focused on hating their ex that they're
not seeing how damaging that is to your own children,
because that baby is not just his, it's yours too, right,
So that was one thing that I remembered because I
would say to how do you even handle it, like
when you're dealing with him and this and that, and
(21:30):
she would say, girl, I love my kids more than
I hate him. And it is such a real statement
because that takes a real woman or a real man,
let's say, because if the table's returned, to put that
feeling aside, because these are all just you know, we're humans,
we have those emotions. So I thought that that was like,
really really key. And I think communication is so key.
(21:53):
You know, there are so many people who don't even
want to look at their acts.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Like I told you, they don't even talk to he
could text me, I don't speak to him. Oh he
doesn't have my number. He communicates to my sister. Nah,
that's not going to give for a successful co parenting ever.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well, I dated a guy who had a daughter, you
know when back in the day, one of my exes,
he has a daughter rather and she is. She is
such a gorgeous, wonderful, awesome young lady. Now I still
keep in touch with her on Instagram. I see her.
I root for her. You know, she's in her twenties.
I'm like, I'm just so proud of her. She really
is a remarkable little girl. But I remember how uncomfortable
(22:33):
it was because we would go and pick her up
whenever we were in town and we would have to
meet at a McDonald's or a different places, like never
at the houses. I mean, it was just such a
toxic and dramaticic. It was toxic, you know what it was.
It was sad. It always was just so sad to
(22:55):
me because like they could not speak to each other.
You could feel the hatred, you know, like, well, what
time are you gonna bring her back? The tone and everything,
And I would say to her, come get in the car,
and I would try to talk to her and distract her.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And you was making it worse, Caroline, even nobody, because
that's not mean with my ex and you here with
this cute new girlfriend of yours. Talk about motherfucker, you
won't get these hands real soon if your girlfriend don't
get back in the car prancing with a little tight ass.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Oh stop it, no, not intentionally, I really, I'm just joking.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
But that was never my intention mind. I would just
see them and like, you know, you would just feel it.
That tension was was there, you know, and so for me,
I was like, what can I do to get this
little girl away from that? So, you know, we would
sit in the car and I would tell her like,
oh my gosh, tell me about your day, or we'd
have candy or you know, we would just you know, she.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Was already going through trauma just witnessing her parents treat
each other this way exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And so, you know, another thing that I think that
might be helpful for people who are going through this
is as difficult as it may be, have a like
monthly me. This is something that really helped my brother
when he was going through My brother was a single dad,
so I saw both sides of this, right. And my brother,
who is a physician, who's a doctor, very busy schedule,
(24:12):
he would say things can't pop up for me, you know,
Like I have a skill. I got to be in
the hospital and if I'm like, I have to be there.
And mind you, he had nanny's and he had this,
and he had that because he had the ability to
do it. But at the end of the day, the
dad needs to be there. If it's a parent teacher
conference or if it's a school recital, you know, create
a monthly meeting, whether it's in writing or if you
(24:36):
guys have the ability to speak to each other or
even in person and say, hey, just want to give
you a heads up. You know, we're going to have
a piano recital on Thursday this day. I just want
to let you know because then if you both show up,
you don't have to sit together, you don't have to
like interact with one another, but your child is going
(24:57):
to see that you both made time for him. Or
I thought that was huge.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
That is huge, And I'm just impressed by your brother
being a single dad and being a doctor like dad
is fly. That is dope as hell. Kudos.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Oh, he is such a beautiful person. And I'm telling
you right now, the things that my brother went through.
I saw him cry for these kids. I saw him struggle.
He knew the impact and the weight of being a
single dad and how much it meant to him. And now,
(25:32):
you know, I look at him and I'm like, damn,
like I'm part of a unit. I don't understand how
you did this on your own, you know. So those
are just some of the little tips that, like, you know,
just from my limited experience that I feel like I
can share with you guys. But it's difficult and you're
gonna have challenges. And then the last thing, if I
can say, Honey, I don't know if you have any tips,
(25:53):
but I do want to say, adults make plans with adults,
Adults speak to adults. You ever use your child as
the messenger. That is the biggest, biggest one. Because you
may think, oh, it's not a big deal. I'll tell
you know, Annie to tell her dad that practice ends
(26:17):
up four thirty, tell your dad the practice ends up.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
No, that's different, and that's petty and that's just weird,
Like you're an adult. My thing is, you know, coming
from a family that you know, my mom was married
three times and my stepdad, you know, stepped in. One
thing I can tell you is there was never conversations
in front of us. Whatever it was, whatever drama there was,
and my father was always welcomed into our home. My
(26:42):
father was always respected by my mom and my stepdad.
There was never no drama. My father was never trash talked,
even though they were divorced. So, like you said, just
don't involve the kids. Adult things require adult conversations on
the side.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
And so funny I even say that now to my
own kids because like my son Noah will come to
me and he'll be like, oh, Jax wants to have
a play date, and I'll say, okay, We'll tell Jax
to tell his mommy to reach out to me, because
I don't make plans with kids, you know, because it's true, Carolena.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Be laying it down, like play with me, no eight
year old talk about He.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Said, yeah, because then it's your mama, I know, but
it's true. And I took that one away and I
was like, that's like a really good tip for just
any parent. You know. It's like, adults make plans with adults,
Adults discuss things with adults. You never put a child
in that position to do what an adult should do.
(27:37):
And so you know, if you're going through it, we
are thinking of you and we're pulling for you because
at the end of the day, we've said it time
and time again, it's the children that matter, always, always,
in every way. Now, we want you guys to like
and follow us, follow us on Instagram at life in Spanguish. Okay,
please please. We want to make sure that you get
any kinds of updates in We're going to be trying to.
(28:00):
I think Honey and I were discussing it later on once
it gets a little bit nicer. We want to get
out there and we want to interact with you.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I want to meet everybody. I want to touch monols,
I want to kiss babies, I want to take selfies.
I want to get outdoors. As soon as this weather
breaks a little bit because it's been so glue me,
rainy and cold. We're gonna get out there, Carolina.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yes, we sure will. And make sure you like and subscribe,
and please give us some five star reviews because we
could use them.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Let's get it.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
We'll be back next week put another episode. Thanks guys.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Lifensed Banglish is a production of Life Bensed Banglash Productions
in partnership with Iheart's Mike We through that podcast network
I'm Honey German. My parents are Dominican. I was born
and raised in New York City. I love sneakers and
I'm a body positive advocate.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I'm Carolina Bermudez soy Nika went but I was born
and raised in Ohio. I'm a wife, a mama, and
a worker bee.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
This is life in spanglish. Carolina. You know I love
me a TikTok And every night I scrollscross croll and
I saw this viral TikTok which shows a Latino father
and stepfather and they're showing off their blended families and
how we're supposed to do it the right way. And
they're talking about what babysitting the baby, mama's other kid.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Okay, so you're my TikTok correspondent because you know I
don't mess with TikTok. I don't need anybody stealing my data.
I'm if you guys ever listen to me. You guys
know that I'm just like really not as savvy on
social media as I wish I was. I'm getting better, honey, right,
I'm getting Oh.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
You are you You've made It's so much progress in
the past few years. Girls, I have a medal for you.
I'm gonna pin it right on your lapel when I
see you next. But nah, you know it's the TikTok.
Was like when your baby mama drops off your son
and the other one that's not yours. So he was babysitting. Well,
I don't I don't like using the term babysitting when
parents take care of the kids, but in this instant,
(01:21):
he was a baby watching his son, and he was
also going to watch the son of another man that
she has. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
I saw that you sent this to me and full transparency.
I was so touched by this because I thought, what
a beautiful thing. I think it's such a beautiful thy well,
because you know, traditionally, like in our culture, you know,
you look at these like Latino machismo, like, you know,
just stereotypes of men who you know, it's always okay
for the man to have on a Monday or you know,
(01:53):
to have like many mistresses and to have kids here,
there and everywhere. But here's a stand up dude, you
know that is not only taking care of his baby,
but also taking care of that baby's sibling because that
baby is going to grow up with this other child
as it's brother. And I think that is just such
a selfless, beautiful, wonderful example of how to be a man.
(02:18):
And now I did when you sent me this link.
I went and I was like comment creeping, and I
was trying to like read through because it was funny.
There were so many men who were commenting that were like,
not me, bra not me, you know what I mean, Like,
I'm not the one. My wife wouldn't be able to
do this to me. And I just thought it takes
(02:38):
a really big, big person because it happens on the
other side too, honey. I mean, let's be honest, it's
a rarity that you see it with men.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
It is. But once you strip off all that machismo,
all the pride, because it's just like, that's it. We've
moved on. Yeah, that's somebody that was part of her
life before, but you're the new partner now.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Well. I do think that there has to be a
level of trust between the partners, and I do think
that at a certain point there has to be some communication.
That's what I wanted. I wanted to know the backstory.
I wish this was like a Maury Povitch or something
it wasn't enough for me. No, I wanted to feel
(03:20):
like I wanted to hear the real history there, Like,
you know, how did this baby come about? Like was
it a previous relationship, was she married? You know, like
why did they break up? There are so many other factors,
but at the end of the day, that this guy
is taking that one step that is probably going to
change the rest of both of those kids' life. Because
(03:42):
think about it, honey, you know my siblings. I have
several siblings who are divorced. Some of them are divorced,
but they haven't had any other relationships, but their exes
have other relationships. Okay, So if you are I guess
I would say, if you are being a contrarian, or
(04:02):
if you're a person who is not accepting of this
your child's half sibling, you're already creating a divide between them.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
You're already a horrible asked person. Because who got me
for kids?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Hello? Right? No, people do though. I mean you know
that people are petty.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Come on, I know, but as an adult, come on,
you gotta let that go. Man, for the sake of
your child and their relationship with their sibling.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Well, but you know what too, I think that it's
there had to be a conversation. This was kind of
what I was getting at, but I don't know if
I really like expressed it correctly. There had to be
a conversation between this guy, the guy on TikTok Pancho, Yeah,
and the ex There had to be a one on
one in my mind when I created this movie, because
(04:49):
I did create the whole movie, Like.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I see.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
With this shit, I know, well, you know, and that's
where I feel like they got together and discussed and said, like,
are we gonna be men and like put all of
this extraneous stuff and all of these other things aside
for the betterment of our children, or are we gonna
be the type that like you have to drop off
the kid half a block away or at the McDonald's
because they can't see each other, because then they're gonna
(05:16):
be fighting, and then they're gonna traumatize these child. You
see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I know exactly what you say. Talk about meet me
halfway and arrest stop and I'll give you the baby
carriage and I'll give you a car seat. Nah, people
shouldn't live like that. It's like, if you decide you're
gonna have a blended family. Let it be cohesive, Let
it be peaceful, let it be loving. This family makes
me proud Carolina, very very proudus for sure.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And I know that you know, we're celebrating the fact
that it's men. But there was an article that came
out in Vanity Fair. It was Giselle Blunchin's first interview
after her breakup with Tom and it was really eye
opening to hear from her perspective everything that went on
in their relationship. And if you have time, like go
(06:00):
read it, you can find it now because it came
out a couple of months ago. But she was talking
about how when she and Tom Brady first met, they
were set up on a blind date. She met him
and immediately she was like, oh my gosh, like this
is the guy. Well, then tom Brady dropped the bomb
on her and was like, well, my ex girlfriend is
(06:21):
pregnant with my first child. And instead of running away
or being combative with Bridget moynihan, who is Tom Brady's
ex who he had his first child with, Giselle dove
head In, she embraced it. You know, she said, listen,
it wasn't like easy. It wasn't an easy road from
the very beginning, but she immediately looked at that child
(06:43):
as a bonus child. Now Here, I'm thinking, if you
go back to a pueblo and you go to any neighborhood,
you'll see two women fighting because their man had a
baby with both of them and they can't stand each
other and they can't be in the same store. So
she really created and fostered this environment that was really beautiful,
(07:04):
not only for this child, but also for her two
children that she had with Tom Brady after that. Do
you see what I mean? So I feel like this
is like it should be more normal.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
It should be like let's say Carti Carti married Offset
and Offset has other children, and when she does her
holiday picture, she puts all the kids in there. She
doesn't just do her son and her daughter. She embraced
her husband and his children. And that means that her
daughter culture has grown up with her siblings because she's
not out here trying to beef with whoever his exes are.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
And what a beautiful thing that is, though, right, because
like she could very well say to Offset, no, this
is our family and culture, and I think the little
baby is wave right, is that the wa wave. What
a cute name. She could very well be like, Nah,
do that on your own time. Those aren't my kids.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
They well could be yeah, rightfully. So you think about it,
it's like, nah, you do your thing with your kids.
I'll do my thing with mine. I'm not having all
your other kids in my Christmas picture. But she's not
doing that. But again, that's love, that's maturity, and that's
the direction we need to go in. We need to
leave all those old ghetto ways that we used to
have before. We need to gave them shits in the
(08:18):
past and the hood fighting with other bitches, Na, my fault.
Your man came over here, made me a baby, you
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Like more, And it's like, you know, all of those
like and I know that this is like a catchy
phrase or whatever, but all of those like generational traumas
of the past, you know, like and this is stuff
that we have seen in nob elas, in our real
lives and lives in our you know, just in anybody's family.
I guarantee you you could go and you could find
(08:44):
you know that somebody has an illegitimate child here. And
when I say illegitimate I'm using air quotes. You know.
Unfortunately you can't see us on a podcast because that's
what that's what children used to be called. Every child
is legitimate. Every child right now.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
They call them break babies, babies, old babies. That's what
I ended Lala and Carmelo's marriage.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Wait what yeah, Mello wait.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Had a whole nother baby on Lalla And she was like,
I'm out of here.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
No he did. I wait, by the way, twenty it's
twenty twenty three, ladies and gentlemen, and I am first
learning about this. I'm going to my correspondent, Honey German
with the tea. Wait, I had no I thought they
had a little boy. Didn't they have a little boy.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Oh yeah, he's a teenager now. But but mellow one
had a whole nother baby on Lalla. She was not
having it. That's when she walked away from the marriage.
Why am I thinking of Stacy dash right now? Carolina?
When she said, wait, DMX died, this is.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Super Now, I swear to you, I never heard that.
Maybe I've never heard that, but you know what did
just come to mind? And what just popped into my mind?
And after we go to break I'm going to bring
up somebody who may not be as popular in people's minds,
But I'm going to tell you somebody else who's doing
this the right way after this, So I know they're
(09:59):
polarizing and a lot of people have something to say.
Everybody has something to say about the Kardashians.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Oh right, now here.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Well no, but when you were just telling me about
Laala and Mellow, I had no idea that he had
another child.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
The baby's five already, she's cute. It was a real
big thing in New York because I think the mother
of his kid was like a New York girl.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh I don't Yeah, I did not catch that in
the headlines, but clearly everybody knows. Chloe Kardashian had her
baby true with Tristan Thompson, and then she found out that,
you know, they were having another baby while he had
a whole other baby with who wasn't the trainer girl.
I think so the other woman. But now when you
(10:43):
look and you see Chloe Kardashian completely allowing this man
not only to come into the delivery room, which is
much bigger than I would have been, but also having
the kids together with her ex, I guess I don't
even know what you would call him now with her
baby's father. You know, I think that that's where you
(11:05):
truly become an adult. You become a responsible adult. You
become a loving parent because you want your children to
not witness that kind of tension or drama, you know
what I mean, Like you basically think it's bigger than me.
I need these kids to have their father in their life.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
And you know what Carolyna is speaking from personal experience.
My mom married my stepdad when she already had four kids.
There was four of us when she married my stepdad,
and this man came in and he had no problems
with my real dad coming over. They were in the
same room. There was no drama. My stepdad was mature,
(11:46):
he was loving. And it's possible. It can be done,
but it requires a group of people. You know that
all are all in agreement that we want to be
a blended family and we want to be respectful towards
each other.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
I think respect is the big part. And you know,
just going back to the TikToker that you told me
about this Bancho, Bancho Bancho, I love that name.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
You gotta make Bancho a movie.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Carolina. Come on, I love him.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
You should connects in Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Hello, please. I no, but you know I love what
he said about it that sometimes he'll take his son
and you know, the bonus baby as I like to
call them. Well, he'll say to them, oh, they want
to go out sometimes, and you know, maybe they'll look
for a sitter. And instead of having them look for
a sitter, if I have my son anyway, I tell them,
let me take little man. And I'm like, that is
(12:33):
such a generous, big thing to do, because not only
are you helping, Like, listen, I have done the sitter thing,
and it is difficult. It is so hard to find
a reliable babysitter. But the thing for me that's even
bigger than this is that you know, both of those
children are going into a home where they are going
to be loved, They're going to be supervised. You don't
(12:55):
have to stress about somebody treating your child differently because
they're not your kid. Do you know what I'm saying now,
I know exactly what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Your kid is safe. You can go out and enjoy yourself.
You'll be fine. Listen. I'm all for taking care of
the kids. What I'm not doing is I'm not becoming
friends when nobody knew whife, I got my own girlfriends.
Don't force your woman on me. I'll help you with
the kid. But it stops right there.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Well, you wouldn't have you wouldn't have a friendship with
another woman if oh.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
What, girl, I got my girlfriends, I got my sisters.
I don't need to be homieswitch your baby mond? What
is a sister wives? I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
I don't know if I feel like unless you're in
that situation, you don't know what you're capable of doing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Krolina, you cannot be friends with someone that you knew.
Mark used to put it down on girl. No, you
don't want that in your house. You don't want her
drinking out of your glass wines. You can't even turn
around without them web looking at each other.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Funny, No girls together for a reason, a girl.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But don't they ubca im?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Okay, I was gonna say, oh my gosh, there is
a famous saying that my mom.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yes, Karlena, do you watch sex Life? That show? I'm like,
I said, Carolina has to watch this. I said, Carolena
has to watch this. She's a mom.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah, but I get horned up all the time. Anyway,
I do not need to get you.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Know, it's I listen to me. We get penis shots.
We never get penis shots in any shows, Carolina. You
got to watch. No one even be like, oh, come on,
nobody want to see no dicks. I'm like, but let
us live. We never get shows, I guess, but no,
it's a lot about you know, exes, relationships, children, marriage.
(14:39):
I feel like it's very much in the lines of
what we're talking about right here, just with some good
ass sex scenes.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, I have to get on it. My friends are appalled,
they can't believe that I've never seen it. But you know,
I just want to shout out for anybody that's listening
right now and you're making this happen, you know, I
know it can't be easy. It cannot be an easy thing.
And just referencing back to that article, you know with Giselle,
she said that it took a lot of work. It
takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of time.
(15:05):
But if you are fighting the good fight, just know
that in the end, your kids are going to be
way better off for it, and you're going to be
able to find peace and happiness too, truly, because that tension,
that negativity is so toxic and it will affect you
in some way. That's stress, you know what I mean.
So it's like, do yourself the favor and even just
(15:28):
try to explore if you're in a situation like this,
to see what could happen, Well, what could happen if
I did if I was a little more accepting, or
if I could be a little bit of a bigger person,
you know, And I'm not cutting anybody down, but it
does take a really big person to put their feelings
aside and be selfless for their kids.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
You gotta love kids, Carolina. Above all, you gotta love kids,
because for some men, even having to have their kid
is already an issue. Oh man, I can't go outside.
The homies want us weed. This one's here. I can't
even smoke. I can't even drink. So you gotta love kids,
and you gotta be at a certain level in your maturity.
But if you're doing this, trust me when I tell you,
(16:10):
you're cutting out drama for these kids and they're not
having to witness, you know, aggressive violent behavior and even
the fighting. People think that doesn't affect kids, it does,
even you saying, oh, I don't want his brother here.
Oh what do you think? This is? All of that
creates trauma for your child. So if you're being accepting
and loving, you're doing an amazing job. You're out here
(16:31):
doing God's work.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Period. Well you know what you could look And I mean,
I know we bring her up all the time. But
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Alfleck, that one, they've already blended
their kids. They say that they're operating like a family already.
But La Latina, you know what I mean like that,
I would never zero zero question in my mind that
that is the influence of Jlo. You know what I mean,
(16:53):
like that she's working with Jennifer Garner and that they're
trying to create the stable, beautiful life for all of
these kids to live. And you know who was the
couple that said, oh you remember, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin.
You were consciously I'm gonna consciously young couple.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
I don't know why I thought about the bone broth
immediately when you said Gwyneth.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Pops, no, no, no, no no. Everybody was clowning her because
of the bone broth. But no, there are another couple
who broke up that basically said, look like, just because
our relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean that we
can't provide a stable, beautiful life for our children. We're
going to move on and we're going to have I
think she's married and he's still dating Dakota Johnson, but
(17:39):
you know, look at them. They're an example of a
successful co parenting relationship. And you know what, I'm even
gonna throw out Nick Cannon out there, who has been
in the news for wanting to have as many children
as he possibly can. He has spoken about how wonderful
Mariah Carey is in their co parenting relationship and how
(17:59):
welcome she is and they're twins, and how great that
whole situation has worked out.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Girl, I want somebody to talk about me. To wait
this man talks about did he say she's like a
gift from God?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Yes, he did. He said he was, like I basically
had posters of this woman up in my bedroom when I.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Saw that talking about manifesting that ass.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Oh my gosh. But no, like you know, and I
feel like it's one of those situations where you say, well,
if they can do it, I can do it.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Now they got money, stop it. When you get the hood.
Motherfuckers don't want to pay child support, the drama is
gonna be thick. Don't you dare bring this other kid
in here when you ain't pay child support in six months?
You want me to get ghetto for you?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Well, you know that's right.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Bring the reality to to madam.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
No, I will. I'll take the l on that one.
You are so right because money makes a huge difference.
And when we come back, guys, we're gonna dive into
this a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Now, Carolyna, you know what I always like to take
it back to El Campo. Yeah, yeah, I learned a
lot from my grandparents. And I hope I'm not miss
speaking here, but my grandmother raised two children that were
not hers.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
My grandfather brought a child and said, I found this
girl by the river. We're gonna raise her.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Now.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Boom, that's my.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Thea I am pento because was that his baby from
another from another woman?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
That one I'm still kind of like up in the
air about. But I do have an uncle that my
grandfather brought home a boy and said, oh, they gave
me this kid to raise girl. And my grandmother being
the Santa that she was.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Oh God bless her.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Took the kid in no drama, raised the kid. This
kid grew up to be my grandfather's twin. Wow, and
he's my uncle, and we know he is my grandfather's son.
So this this whole you know, like helping a child thing,
It could change someone's life, because who's to know where
(20:07):
my aunt and uncle would be if my grandfather wouldn't
have I don't know how he got hold of them,
but brought them to Maguela. But Maguela was like, you
know what, I don't know what the backstory is, but
these kids are little angels. They don't have nothing to
do with whatever mess you're involved in. Bring them here,
get on the comendos commentres. But then my grandmother had
(20:28):
nine kids.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
So wow, Gerio Lavendiga, because that is something that a
lot of women could not do. You know, I think
that in co parenting situations, which you know, neither of
us are in these. But like I mentioned before, my
siblings are divorced and they are in you know, these
(20:49):
types of situations. And the one thing that I remember
my sister always saying is that she loves her her
kids more than she hates her ex. And I thought
that statement, that statement is so real because if you
poor love, if you're focused on love, then the hate
(21:09):
takes a back seat. And there are so many people
who are so focused on hating their ex that they're
not seeing how damaging that is to your own children,
because that baby is not just his, it's yours too, right,
So that was one thing that I remembered because I
would say to how do you even handle it, like
when you're dealing with him and this and that, and
(21:30):
she would say, girl, I love my kids more than
I hate him. And it is such a real statement
because that takes a real woman or a real man,
let's say, because if the table's returned, to put that
feeling aside, because these are all just you know, we're humans,
we have those emotions. So I thought that that was like,
really really key. And I think communication is so key.
(21:53):
You know, there are so many people who don't even
want to look at their acts.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Like I told you, they don't even talk to he
could text me, I don't speak to him. Oh he
doesn't have my number. He communicates to my sister. Nah,
that's not going to give for a successful co parenting ever.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Well, I dated a guy who had a daughter, you
know when back in the day, one of my exes,
he has a daughter rather and she is. She is
such a gorgeous, wonderful, awesome young lady. Now I still
keep in touch with her on Instagram. I see her.
I root for her. You know, she's in her twenties.
I'm like, I'm just so proud of her. She really
is a remarkable little girl. But I remember how uncomfortable
(22:33):
it was because we would go and pick her up
whenever we were in town and we would have to
meet at a McDonald's or a different places, like never
at the houses. I mean, it was just such a
toxic and dramaticic. It was toxic, you know what it was.
It was sad. It always was just so sad to
(22:55):
me because like they could not speak to each other.
You could feel the hatred, you know, like, well, what
time are you gonna bring her back? The tone and everything,
And I would say to her, come get in the car,
and I would try to talk to her and distract her.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And you was making it worse, Caroline, even nobody, because
that's not mean with my ex and you here with
this cute new girlfriend of yours. Talk about motherfucker, you
won't get these hands real soon if your girlfriend don't
get back in the car prancing with a little tight ass.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Oh stop it, no, not intentionally, I really, I'm just joking.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
But that was never my intention mind. I would just
see them and like, you know, you would just feel it.
That tension was was there, you know, and so for me,
I was like, what can I do to get this
little girl away from that? So, you know, we would
sit in the car and I would tell her like,
oh my gosh, tell me about your day, or we'd
have candy or you know, we would just you know, she.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Was already going through trauma just witnessing her parents treat
each other this way exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And so, you know, another thing that I think that
might be helpful for people who are going through this
is as difficult as it may be, have a like
monthly me. This is something that really helped my brother
when he was going through My brother was a single dad,
so I saw both sides of this, right. And my brother,
who is a physician, who's a doctor, very busy schedule,
(24:12):
he would say things can't pop up for me, you know,
Like I have a skill. I got to be in
the hospital and if I'm like, I have to be there.
And mind you, he had nanny's and he had this,
and he had that because he had the ability to
do it. But at the end of the day, the
dad needs to be there. If it's a parent teacher
conference or if it's a school recital, you know, create
a monthly meeting, whether it's in writing or if you
(24:36):
guys have the ability to speak to each other or
even in person and say, hey, just want to give
you a heads up. You know, we're going to have
a piano recital on Thursday this day. I just want
to let you know because then if you both show up,
you don't have to sit together, you don't have to
like interact with one another, but your child is going
(24:57):
to see that you both made time for him. Or
I thought that was huge.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
That is huge, And I'm just impressed by your brother
being a single dad and being a doctor like dad
is fly. That is dope as hell. Kudos.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Oh, he is such a beautiful person. And I'm telling
you right now, the things that my brother went through.
I saw him cry for these kids. I saw him struggle.
He knew the impact and the weight of being a
single dad and how much it meant to him. And now,
(25:32):
you know, I look at him and I'm like, damn,
like I'm part of a unit. I don't understand how
you did this on your own, you know. So those
are just some of the little tips that, like, you know,
just from my limited experience that I feel like I
can share with you guys. But it's difficult and you're
gonna have challenges. And then the last thing, if I
can say, Honey, I don't know if you have any tips,
(25:53):
but I do want to say, adults make plans with adults,
Adults speak to adults. You ever use your child as
the messenger. That is the biggest, biggest one. Because you
may think, oh, it's not a big deal. I'll tell
you know, Annie to tell her dad that practice ends
(26:17):
up four thirty, tell your dad the practice ends up.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
No, that's different, and that's petty and that's just weird,
Like you're an adult. My thing is, you know, coming
from a family that you know, my mom was married
three times and my stepdad, you know, stepped in. One
thing I can tell you is there was never conversations
in front of us. Whatever it was, whatever drama there was,
and my father was always welcomed into our home. My
(26:42):
father was always respected by my mom and my stepdad.
There was never no drama. My father was never trash talked,
even though they were divorced. So, like you said, just
don't involve the kids. Adult things require adult conversations on
the side.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
And so funny I even say that now to my
own kids because like my son Noah will come to
me and he'll be like, oh, Jax wants to have
a play date, and I'll say, okay, We'll tell Jax
to tell his mommy to reach out to me, because
I don't make plans with kids, you know, because it's true, Carolena.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Be laying it down, like play with me, no eight
year old talk about He.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Said, yeah, because then it's your mama, I know, but
it's true. And I took that one away and I
was like, that's like a really good tip for just
any parent. You know. It's like, adults make plans with adults,
Adults discuss things with adults. You never put a child
in that position to do what an adult should do.
(27:37):
And so you know, if you're going through it, we
are thinking of you and we're pulling for you because
at the end of the day, we've said it time
and time again, it's the children that matter, always, always,
in every way. Now, we want you guys to like
and follow us, follow us on Instagram at life in Spanguish. Okay,
please please. We want to make sure that you get
any kinds of updates in We're going to be trying to.
(28:00):
I think Honey and I were discussing it later on once
it gets a little bit nicer. We want to get
out there and we want to interact with you.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I want to meet everybody. I want to touch monols,
I want to kiss babies, I want to take selfies.
I want to get outdoors. As soon as this weather
breaks a little bit because it's been so glue me,
rainy and cold. We're gonna get out there, Carolina.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yes, we sure will. And make sure you like and subscribe,
and please give us some five star reviews because we
could use them.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Let's get it.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
We'll be back next week put another episode. Thanks guys.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Lifensed Banglish is a production of Life Bensed Banglash Productions
in partnership with Iheart's Mike We through that podcast network
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