BONUS AFTER SHOW: New Podcast to Be Named

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Jazmon's gonna start off the show todaytrying to out black Ronde. It is
not the Moot Kimmy Otis after showpodcast. This is the soft launch of
a brand new show, a brandnew show featuring myself, Brian Moot,
Rondell Smith, and Jasmine Sagery comingfrom Dallas, Texas. We don't know
the name, we don't know thepremise, we don't know anything. We

(00:23):
just know that we're funny. SoI would love to know at Moot Points
hit me up or at mood Comedyon Instagram, at mood Points is on
ex or Twitter or whatever you wantto call it. What do you think
of names should be, because Iwant to take this and do not just
a podcast, but get on talkradio as well, because they're very,
very funny people and we're gonna havea lot of fun. So hit me
up. You can be part ofthis process. Secret soft launch of a

(00:46):
new show. Jasmine Sagery at JasmineSagery on all social media, we at
at who is Rondell, I'm atmood Comedy. Thanks for hanging out with
us. Also, by the way, please tweet at any of us.
Okay, camera is all funked up? I have to have it. Look
at it. I'm sorry. Yeahright, you just have like a big

(01:07):
ZiT on your nose or something.Yeah. No, I swear to god,
my worst I've seen Jazzin at herworst. Yeah. Absolutely don't know
what that looks like. But niceto meet you. I hate that you're
looking at my stupid scream like this. It's okay. I stopped your Instagram,
so it's all good. Okay,Yeah, so you know what I
mean, and you still stuck around. I like this. Yeah, I've

(01:29):
realized you don't like black men.No, No, I love the NBA,
so I love Wow, that's whatall white women say. Also,
that's I really do. Now,ask Brian. I swear to God,
ask Brian. I'm a fucking nerd. She actually really does love black people.
Okay, all right, where didHarriet Tubman sit in the front of

(01:53):
the bus or the back of theHarriet she drove the train? No she
didn't. She made the slaves underundilroad unund rail question. That was a
trick. You didn't question. Idon't think. I don't think your tricks
anybody. I think. Record thisanyway, record the video anyway. Okay,

(02:14):
Okay, you know who's so journaltruth is I'm about to I'm about
to whoop your ass on this one. So Jasmine's going to start off the
entire hold on black. Jasmine's goingto start off the show today trying to
out black Rondel. Such a goodway to do this is in twenty twenty
three. Do you know what?This is progress? We've got an Iranian
woman in Dallas, Texas trying toout black a black man from Atlanta.

(02:37):
This is where we're at. No, I love this, this is how
we do it. I probably don'thave that answer. We are. I
did my third grade book report onher? I did? Did you really?
I? Sure enough? Did youknow who it is? I don't
know who you're talking about? Allright, okay, you know what.
I'm not gonna lie. I don'tknow who you're talking about. I'm sorry.

(02:58):
It's a new segment called Rondell.Rondel gets a Black Education. Jazmine,
you're Rachel Dolazol and right now,no, no no, no,
no no no no you're not.No you're not because you're not about to
get my black car revoked. Thenthat's not I don't know one black person.
That's okay, you know how manyblack people I do know? I

(03:20):
don't know one that's never heard of? Yeah, the one? The one?
Like, who what was she inthe Bible? What's going on?
She was an abolitionist, she wasan activist, uh for civil rights for
black people during slavery. Shame onyou. You should know this. Well
it wasn't a slave. But here'sthe thing on you. I'm gonna let

(03:44):
you know this. I'm gonna letyou. I'm gonna let you know this.
Now there's there's multiple black people thatdon't know that. So I'm not
gonna I'm not gonna take the let'sstart calling him, go through your phone.
I'm gonna start calling that a newsegment. Oh bro, Okay,
now we're gonna expand this segment fromRondell learns about black people too. Every
black person run down those let's say, nobody knows that. Nobody knows that.

(04:06):
I mean unless you're really into that, like black culture. And this
is about to get me canceled,but you really don't. You only know
like four or five black Like,Okay, I have a serious question for
you. No, don't ask it. No, No, it's a funny
question, but it is serious.When you see people who like major in
Afro American studies, like that istheir degree? What do you? What

(04:30):
is your thought? You're trying tobe too black? Trying to be too
black. It's cool to be Listen, dude, it's cool to be black.
I love being black. I loveYou're the coolest person that I legitimately.
I love being black, bro.I love my culture, I love
my skin, I love everything.But it is it is a point where
you're like too black. It's like, dog, what are we doing?

(04:50):
Like relaxed. You ain't got tobe You don't have to be that black
like doctor Umar, you're too black? Like relax, bro, relax.
Do y'all know, do y'all knowfeel this way? No? No,
I have not answering that questions asNikka Jasmine is, she looks way too
white for dude, I'm and youcan't see this right now because of this

(05:12):
dumb screen not working. But Iam so white. I'm clear. She's
whiter than I am. And I'mirish. I so am. And here's
what's crazier, Rondell, I havered hair and people think that I am
irish? Is that your natural hair? No, sir, I'm a sleeper.
What is that? What is asleeper sleeper cell? You don't know
your Middle Eastern studies. Indeed,she's the palest Iranian ever ever. Oh

(05:38):
and I'm worse. I'm worse though, because I'm half Iranian and half Armenian.
So in l a f the Armenianyellow Glendale Yell, we run that.
Yes, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm trying to to cuss on
this ship. Listen, there's toomuch. I despies the Armenians in Glendale.

(06:01):
Oh wow, what dude, Okay, I'm gonna tell you a story
allowing racism on the show now,I mean jas when you opened with black
black, black occasion black splaining,I did, however, I was.
I was saying how Sojourner Truth wasa hero in her own right for doing
what she did. He said itlike a white person with your finger up
that. Wait a minute, youcard him so hard with well, excuse

(06:31):
me, wait wait a minute,I have no dude, I have a
story about I was in I wasin Glendale, and I went to the
Glendale mall and I'm sorry about you, yeah exactly. And I went to
the stronghold, this stronghold, dude, and there was me and my dad.
We walked into some story and therewas two Armenian dudes that were following.

(06:51):
When Rondell's dad's a comment, he'sa comedian as well, so like,
there's no way that your dad's notlike this is I mean, you
know way your dad's not like laughingabout oh dude. So they follow us
around the entire store. The entirestore, they follow us around. So
my dad turns around and goes,hey, man, like, we're not
stealing, we have money, andthe guy go The guy literally says,

(07:12):
I know you have money. Wejust want to watch you. And I
was like, what does the funto say? You mean? What does
that mean? He's like, Idon't think you're gonna use it, But
dude, they're so mean. Armeniansare just so mean. Man, Well
it depends. It's funny you saythat because my boyfriend and I had a
fight last night. He's like,you're just so mean. Was it your
Armenian side? Was it came out? Well? Yeah, well I just
think it's the Meani side, theManian SIDEE Well, I know, And

(07:40):
here's the other thing that I justtook away from what you said. Legitimately,
I thought you were going to sayArmenian women, because the Armenian women
gravitate towards black dudes ask the Kardashians, Yes, well, we're not gonna
yeah, but I mean they're they'rethey're their own they're their own species.
Don't get me started. Yeah,they're their own species. When I when

(08:00):
I lived in LA, Here's thething about Armenians and stuff, and this
is I think this happens everywhere thatthere's like a really large population of one
genre of person. White people doit too, it's just in different parts
of the country. But it's likeif you walk into that culture, you're
just so overwhelmed by the weirdness.It's a lot. You're like, well,
and and some cultures are louder thanothers, and like I know,

(08:24):
and you can look at comedy clubsin LA, the comedy clubs that are
run by Armenians, they're just somuch more in your face. Yeah,
there's no subtlety about it. AndI love Jack and I love the Haha,
but like there literally I had Terry, one of the owners of the
Haha, literally tell me. Shegoes, you're funny, but I thought

(08:45):
you would suck because you're white.And I was like, damn, she's
just I mean, at least she'shonest. Maybe she's just kind of roast
you a little bit. Well,she really meant it, just like that.
She's like, she gave me ashot because people recommended me. And
this is like ten years ago andI did my set and she goes,
yeah, I love you to comeback. Just send me your veils every
Friday for the weekend and I'll getyou in when I can. I gotta

(09:07):
be honest. I thought you wouldsuck because you're a white dude, and
I'm like, God, that's crazy, man. But also in that moment,
I felt like so discriminated against soJasmine. What what was that person's
name again, the abolitionist. That'show I felt. I needed that person.
Yeah, so I need I neededmy soldier, I need my sojourner
truth because I felt discriminated. Okay, okay, and it was it was

(09:28):
hard. So I get it.I know how we feel. I know
how we feel. Congratulations. Ohmy gosh, look podcast episode sojourn I
get it. I absolutely get it, you guys. I know that Jasmine
has someone from Middle Eastern descent andRondell as a black man in America.
Know, I get it. Ifelt it one time. Yeah, this

(09:48):
is a this felt it and ithurts. Yeah. This podcast is so
very much, so diverse. Ilove it. You gotta you know what
I'm saying. It's a lot.Asked for a couple of she said,
So, Jasmine, a couple ofthings just happened right as run down and
I were walking in the studio andbig shout outs of Fox Brothers, by
the way, because we were justover there. Why you were seventeen minutes

(10:09):
late. Uh, it was notour fault. We had free shots of
jameson. Yeah, we were trying. We were organizing things to talk about,
one of which, oh I bet, one of which is a Christmas
tree drive that we're gonna do nextcouple weeks. Details to come. But
Jasmine, this idea we just hadis if you have a tree to donate
or want to buy one, youbring it to a place, and if
you need a tree, you cometo that same place and we'll just be

(10:31):
hanging out. Come on, man, wait, hold on, is this
a place that knows that you Yeah, yeah, you know your third No,
we're not well, this sounds veryI mean, Jasmine, this is
how you do things in Atlanta,you just say you're gonna do it at
a place and then you just showup, just like are we just showing

(10:54):
up? Like yeah, bring uspull up? No, we got we
got no, we actually we actuallyhave a You made connections. We got
connections. Also, Jason, youheard the term pull up that happened in
Atlanta. Just pull up and that'sthat's how that pull up. That's where
we uh, yeah, we're doingit somewhere. Two things that happen on
the way in the studio. Firstof all, Rondell said that he killed
a hummingbird once I did, whichI don't understand. How do you kill

(11:18):
one? How do you have thehandspeed? First of all, hummingbirds are
literally this small and their wings movereally fast. And I killed one.
And so here's the thing. Iwas at six Flags. Wait, hold
on, this story gets worse sixFlags. That you killed the hummingbird.
The hummingbird is right next to me, sipping on a honeysuckle or whatever,
the scissor whatever whatever is that sixFlags, and I saw it, but

(11:43):
I thought it was a bug.You know what coumming birds is small,
let's be honestly, okay, Butin other parts of the country slapped it
down and black people don't like bugs. Brouh. Yeah, Well, to
be fair, in other parts ofthe country, we don't have bugs that
are the size of hummingbirds in Intlantaand in the South. I thought the
mosquito or carpenter bees or horsefly.Yeah, those weird bugs that have no

(12:07):
name, but they're green and theyjust fly Indian oh man, like cockroaches
can fly here. Hey bruh.Every So hold on a second, I
got to unpack this. So you'reat six Flags, and this hummingbird is
mining its own business. Obviously,it's not mining its own that I've been
business is what it is next tome. And so you were like,
just kidding, let me reach overand squash it. Well, I just

(12:28):
kill it with my bare hands.Well, because once again I don't like
bugs. I took this as athreat because I thought it was a bug.
So any bug is a threat tome. Did you backhand it?
No? No? No, Ifort like palm yeah, found flap flapped
and then when I and then whenit went down on the ground, I
was like, oh shit, that'sa bird. How like what I don't
even know what are the looks yougot from everyone else, and I would

(12:52):
love I wish you had this footagehere from six Flags. Well here's the
thing. Nobody saw it except me. I was the only person that caught
this because I was the only personthat saw this. Luckiest criminal ever.
I was the only person that sawthis hummingbird bug. And it might not
have been a hummingbird, it couldhave been it was a humming bird,
you know, bird. You feelthe guilt still, Oh, Brad,
I slapped this ship out that bug? That What's the saddest animal you ever

(13:16):
killed? Jasmine? None? Youknow me, I'm a psycho animal person.
I don't kill animals, so Iin high school. This is the
saddest things ever happened my entire life. Which shows you about this? This
is triggering me. Why are wetalking about We don't mean to Yeah,
we're not saying. We're not sayingwe did it on part we're not hunting.
Yeah, yeah, that doesn't havea hummingbird head mounted on his you
know house? Yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't. I

(13:39):
don't hook up with my sisters ormy mom. You know what I'm saying.
He's not hunting. Yeah, doesn'tthat he doesn't have like a hummingbird
hummingbird wings. Not a Southerner.I'm not a Southerner. I'm not no
good old Southerner. I'm just tryingto picture of hummingbird's mount ahead. Yeah
right, tiny. Wouldn't that bekind of funny though? If you walked
into someone someone's housing, like yeah, I'm an avid hunter and you just
go up there, there's like asparrow head and like a lizard, like

(14:03):
just teeny tiny, and you're like, that's what you just killed? Tiny
animals? Huh. I will neverI will never do that. That's why
I'm hunt. I don't like thehunt. You know what. I you
know what I realized I didn't likehunting and jazz. Your boyfriend Joey does
he hunt? I know, Imean, I know that's that's a deal
breaker for me. That is ahard Most of us who grew up in

(14:24):
the Northwest like we were around hunting, because it's like everyone's like, yo,
bro, I'm going on that Elktrip and I'm like, Elk trip
for what like and they're like,no, man, Elk, you never
had Elk. Elk's good. IfElk was good, it'd be in the
grocery store. Bro, it's notgood. Deer is not good food.
I like deer, you don't,but it's not good. I like dear.
You know what, Rondell you likethe men there on the menu,

(14:46):
you got elk, you got deer, or you got steak. I'm taking
steak. See, it's not thatgood. But deer is good, though,
I'm not saying it's bad. PublicYeah, deer file AT's now the
ain't they ain't got that? Yougot stores here, you know we don't.
We got no publics in Dallas.No, no, hush, we

(15:09):
don't. There's no other grocer butHIV in Central market here, all right,
HIV is the one. AHB isNo. No, I'm not saying
that you can't get deer. WhatI'm saying is that it's If it was
that good, we would be raisingdeer in big fields and we'd be eating
misteaks like crazy. We're not becauseit's not that good. It's I'm not
saying it's not edible. I'm notsaying it's not. Some people don't like

(15:31):
it, so you just say youwant so you want some like concentrated deer
to where it's like, no,no, we are far there's some farm
deer. You want some farm deermeat if it was far, I don't
want any deer meat. I'm justsaying the reason we don't have farms is
because it's not that good. That'scrazy. I just thought of like,
you know, when you were inthe frozen juice, I would be like,
not made from concentrate. I thoughtyou legitimate, like not from deer

(15:54):
concentrate, like a just I justmyself. Canada, Dear Canad, dear
me, brown deer burgers. Noone has that. It's because it's not
that good. There are so many. It's good. No, it's not.
It's not good enough to beat cattle. You know you're from the South

(16:14):
though you're from Seattle, dude.That's what we have. We have deer
elk. People come to our neighborhoodshunt elk. By the way, elk
are the size of horses. I'vehad good elk jerky. I'm not saying
I hate it, but it's notbetter than being jerky. It's not better
than beef. I don't know whatI bet you. I could find you
elk and deer at a local BUCkiesnear me. Oh yeah, you guys

(16:36):
have them now. Our BUCkies islike Super North. Yeah, it's not
in it. And guess what,I'm not going up there because you know
why my ex's boyfriend lives. Oh, we're gonna get to that in a
second. Hold on, that's that'sthe topic number two. But we got
derailed on deer Jerky. I doI do feel like we need a rendering
of a decision on this one,but we should. I here's the thing.
I think most dudes who like tohunt just want to go and sit

(17:00):
in the woods by themselves for awhile, do whatever they want to just
they want silent. It's like someguys love golfing and they would just want
silence. I think some dudes loveto go hunting because here's the thing,
because they're murderers. No, no, because you can not get anything.
There are people who go hunting likeevery weekend and never see anything. Yeah,
you know, they just go sitin the woods by themselves, avoiding
their family or you know what,they're not even hunting. Yeah, you

(17:22):
know, there's somewhere else. Theyhave a second family in Panama City Beach
or something, and they're just blamingit on the fact that they can't get
any deer in their deer blinds.Are you also gonna just sit in your
fucking car? That's another option.You you just sit in your car.
You don't have to go hunting todo that. You just sit in your
car. I mean, you getfishing is the same way. I love

(17:44):
fishing, but I don't really wantto catch fish. I like just sitting
by a lake and like flinging apole in the water. Now that now
fishing is amazing. Now fishing isamazing. Well, here's here's my thing.
When you call it, When youcall hunting or that a sport,
isn't a sport when both sides they'replaying together? Sounds very true. It'd
be funny, you know what I'msaying. Like these animals are just out

(18:06):
doing their thing Bampa style and thenyou just roll up and shoot them.
That's really not a sport, bro, It's a drive by it really is
there? No, you know whatI mean, Jason, You bring a
good up, a good point.Here. Here's what they gave. What
if we gave them some arrows?That's what I'm saying. Let's make this
sport on ESPN three maybe and haveus watch it, okay now, just
because then they would start killing us. Great, okay, but having people

(18:30):
on this planet, we could do. Here's an idea. What if we
started a farm like a fight clubfor deer where we just raised fighting deer
and love this all right, Solet's just hear me out here. So
we get a farm, we raisewe could do this something. Go fund
me. Peter would be all aboutthis because of the deer fight back,
and we could raise a bunch ofmoney. We buy a farm. We

(18:53):
buy a farm, and we justwe train them like people used to train,
like fighting dogs like that. Weput up like scarecrows and people run.
The deer's running with their antlers andthen we just turn them loose because
you know what, just let themrun. So yeah, we go put
them in places where there are alot of hunters because you know, I
think the deer should be able totake out a hunter every once in a

(19:15):
while. It's only fair, likethe running of it, like the running
of the bulls. Okay, Sowe just got a deer who's like,
not, I don't do deer stuff. I do murder. And so this
deer, so you got this hunterslike you know, this big fatso who's
like climb up in a tree,and then we got this rabid deer.
We could put them on some sortof performance enhancing supplements or whatever and then

(19:37):
but but imagine they're surprised when thedeer is coming back at them, you
know what I mean? Like,remember surviving the game with iced tea?
What about beer? Cocaine? Whatif gussy that? Now I'm feeling now,
I'm feeling what you're saying. Though, But I'm saying, train them
like these deers cocaine with what I'mnot gonna I'm not just just like little

(19:57):
kopious amount. I'm not nutrition,is what I'm saying. It is just
like a little just enough to getthe deer to be like really yeah,
just locked in. Yeah a bumphere, a bump, yeah, like
adderall you know what? They couldsnort it, yeah or boof it or
whatever whatever they do. You knowwhat I'm saying. The word I hate
that word is awful. Boofing it, putting right up that deer. But
wors is that what that means?Boofing it? Yeah, that's like a

(20:19):
oh yeah, you wouldn't have knownthat because that's like a white person thing.
Yeah, but what does booth means? Shove it up your butt what
like a drug, like but butto get high or like yeah, if
you want like an adderall you wantit to hit harder or something. I
guess you shove it in your ass. Wait, people people do that.
White people people, Yeah, whitepeople. White people do it. I
think especially with like we just smokecrack. It's easy. Yeah, that's

(20:45):
the people do y'all. Y'all putit up. But I don't put it
up. I'm not saying not you. My people do what so we could
that's the deer could do it thatway? Boofing it? Well, I
mean it's the worst word, jasmin. Has there ever been a word that
perfectly describes what the action is?But you also have to catch the deer
to boof it? No, no, we would you know what I'm saying.

(21:07):
That's a lot, bro, becausethen you got to put your You
got to put it up. That'sa two person job. Yeah, that's
a Bundle's got to have the deerin the headline. Bro, that's a
lot, and the other person's gotto be there with like I'm assuming a
rubber glove. That's a lot.And also there are ame like what well,
look I'm all I'm saying is Ithink we could train some deer to
thin out the hunting population. Youknow how they always talk about like,

(21:29):
hey, hunters do this thing,and you always hear this argument. You
guys don't even know. Man,there's too many deer out here. They're
getting you know, it's unsafe.There's too much population. They feel the
same way about you, hunters.So maybe let's put a few trained killers
in the field and we lose acouple of hunters who, let's be honest,
weren't supreme specimens. I got afew of them that I want to
kill. Hit deers, put themin your back, your heard, drop

(21:56):
them over the if I if I, if I, if I really want
the beaties deers? Off is aplumber in Calhoun? Oh dude, all
right, we haven't gotten that storyyet. All right, let's let's move
on, Jazz. I know you'regonna have strong thoughts on this one.
So this was the other bomb otherthan Rondel's to anything else, Rondel murdering,
Other than Rondel murdering a hummingbird beforegetting in this. Well, he

(22:19):
didn't do that, but he admittedit was h So the ongoing saga of
Rondell's ex. So, Jazz,I know you've had an ex. How
fast is the fastest your ex movedon either getting engaged, pregnant, married,
How fast is that? They're allpretty devastated. So it's I mean

(22:42):
here, So in my case,in my case, my ex wife,
while we were she was still onmy health insurance, she was still Jess
is not this bad. That's theworst person on the planet. She She's
like, if booth could be ahuman, Yeah, she's a human equation
a boofman. That's heckic a bofa boof human is exactly what That's a

(23:03):
great way to put it. That'shectic, dude. So she this is
how fast she moved on in herlife or whatever, and good, but
it costs. She told me shehad cancer when she was on. So
I wouldn't take her off my healthinsurance after our divorce because I was like,
I moved on, but I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
As much as I hate you,I don't want you to try to find

(23:25):
health insurance with cancer. She didn'tbecause that, come on, that's you
know what I mean, Like you'reapplying for health insurance and you're going down
and checking all the boxes and they'relike, do you have pre existing conditions?
And you're like, no, Ijust need to go get radiation tomorrow,
chemo therapy. No. So Iwas trying to be nice and I'm
like, hey, I won't look, I can't. You're on for I

(23:49):
said, it's so stupid, bro, I said, you're on for the
year. I wish you well inyour life, and I really hope that
this works. I hope you don'tdie for you, like whatever, I'm
really sorry. I'm really sorry thatthis happened to you. But I don't
want you to have to try toget health insurance until you know whatever.
So just stay on mine. ButI can't renew you because I got to

(24:11):
renew my policy and we're divorced now. She didn't have cancer. She was
pregnant with the dude she was datingin New York City. Crazy so and
I'm an idiot. Cancer humor wasa fetus. Rondel as ship technically is
something growing inside you. But it'sdefinitely not the same. But here's the
thing. I mean, babies arecancer too, so they feed off they

(24:33):
grow, but they they also takewell. Yeah, I mean, I
mean, I'm I'm a I ama child, and I know that I
probably ruined a lot of my parents'life. But here's but here's here's the
crazy thing is that I was seeingthe reports and I was like, ultrasound,
Oh man, this cancer must bebad because I didn't know. I
mean I I mean I knew ultrasoundsthat were involved in pregnant has arms and

(24:56):
legs and a little nose and teeth. Oh my god, that's I wasn't
seeing that stuff because you can't pullup. You can just when you're have
a health insurance with another person,you just see the what the procedures were,
but they don't like show you anyinfo. Right for hip hop reasons
don't come in trimester. I didn'tknow. Look, man, I had

(25:18):
no reason. Cancers don't come andtry. He's like, hold on,
Brian, I've never Okay, Ididn't know this, but I knew.
So you didn't know that part.No, I didn't know the part where
you were like, oh, mygoodness, your cancer is really bad.
I was. I was like Iwas telling my brother and also, by
the way, should have not Ishould have talked to somebody with more intelligence.

(25:44):
Not that my brother's not a smartguy, but we just didn't know.
So I'm like, yeah, man, she's getting ultrasounds like all the
time. And he's like, ohmy god, must be it must be
bad. And I'm like, yeah, it's like every every like a couple
of weeks, she's getting another altiers. I was like, what do you
do? And I'm like, butI knew ultrasounds were part of pregnancy.
But if you tell me I havecancer, I'm like, I don't know.

(26:06):
Maybe they got an ultrasound, youryour tumor, it's you. Yeah.
I almost feel like I had thatkind I literally can't literally Yeah.
So I was telling people and they'relike, wait, she's getting an ultra
sound for cancer. I'm like,yeah, man, I mean, look,
I hate her as a person,but I don't want her to die
why, which I think is atestament to me as a person. You

(26:29):
wanted her to look on the low? No, I didn't. I couldn't.
Yeah, on the low he wantedI know, I know, I
just look at let's say this,I wouldn't root against it. Yeah,
but I'm not rooting for if death. If death was at her doorstep,
would you would be the first personyou wouldn't hold a sign? No?
No, no, you would bein the back, like, let's just
I wouldn't I wouldn't step in.Yeah. It was like I'd mean the

(26:53):
guy in the back of a viralvideo who like, huh what No,
if everybody was shating deaf deaf deaf, you would be like, maybe I
hope she don't die, but ifshe do, I ain't gonna be mad.
It was your time. Yeah,what I'm saying like, my oh,
I feel that same way. Ohwe haven't got to it yet.

(27:15):
I feel that same way. Yeah, I need to know what the reason
I brought it up is. Becauseso the the ongoing saga of Rondell's last
relationship was he had been with wellyou talk ten years, you've been with
her. I was. I waswith my I was with my ex for
ten years. What yeah, tenyears, no marriage, no kids,

(27:36):
no nothing. But you guys wereyoung too, I mean you guys were
in your twenty Yeah. Yeah,we got together at twenty three. We
broke up at thirty three, Andso we were together for ten years.
And uh, the first five yearswere like pretty cool and the last five
years wore ship. But now I'mgonna tell you why. The last five
years are ship Because I got alot of shit happening to me. So

(28:00):
I had a lot of shit goingon for me. I was on TV,
I was doing tours, I wasthis, I was that, I
was doing a lot. Oh terrible, terrible success success happened. I was
just doing You're thinking, oh mygod, he had death thing. I
was a big deal. Yeah,I was doing stuff. But my head
got big, and you know,I cannot see that happening. Girls.
Well, first of all, don'tknow you like that. Don't say that

(28:23):
I'm playing, But no, Ihad I I did not know who I
was once all this stuff happened.And this is just me being serious right
now. Did not know who Iwas when this happened, and then I
started becoming a person. I didn'tknow who I was, and then girls
started coming in my life. Solook, I mean, jazz, it's

(28:45):
the same, It's not the same. But I messed up. Okay.
So what he's trying to say isthat for the first few years they had
a normal relationship, and then hestarted traveling and doing comedy and stuff like
that, and and the world changedfor him so much for me. In
in full transparency, Ronde, evenbefore what you're about to say, happened.

(29:06):
Happened? You were really good aboutlike owning the fact, like,
yeah, it was not a greatdude. So we So here's the thing.
Here's the thing. What's really happened. So we had a we lived
together for nine and a half years. Out of the ten we lived together
for nine nine and a half.And so our last house that we lived
in was a townhouse and we're gettingto uh uh remodeled, remodeled. Yes,

(29:30):
And the guy that was remodeling ourhouse, well, the team that
was remodeling my house a guy ownedthat team, which is a family team.
She started talking to him stop it. So they are together at this
point right now to lamb pipe atyeah, lamb pipe. The carpenter the
carpenter that they was doing, hewas there every day probably you know,

(29:53):
doing like manly stuff and I'm just, you know, I don't do that.
So it's like, okay, cool, and uh, come to find
out last week they're engaged. Nowit's happened like six months ago. Now,
Jasmine, here's the thing. Hey, Okay, we broke up in
March this year of this year.Yeah, today is November. They got

(30:18):
engaged. I don't know when.How did you find out. I found
out through text message. Yeah,I texted her and I was like,
hey, I just want to youknow, I blocked her on everything,
but I was like, all right, man, I'm in a mental place
to where, you know, Ihave my own little situation going on,
to where I feel like I canI feel like I can reach out and
have a cordial you know, adult, you had a point. Everyone hits

(30:41):
this one, I think where youjust don't want to feel hung up.
Yeah, I'm good. I wantto be a friend, talk real talk,
though, did you? Was therea piece of you that thought,
you know what, maybe I'm ina better place to receive what I had
and hopefully she could meet me there. No, because she's she was already
in this relationship. Yeah, shewas full border hang out with this day.

(31:03):
Yeah. I didn't care. Yeah, I didn't care about that.
I was literally, yeah, Iwas literally trying to just be her friend.
Like you know, hey, youknow what I'm saying. We spent
ten years with each other. Whywouldn't I, hey, DAPs, let's
you know, wouldn't want to bea friend, you know what I mean?
And you know we both live ina very big city, small town
Atlanta is a big city. I'ma siva, same as Dallas, Texas,
where it's like if you live inDallas, it I mean, metro

(31:26):
Dallas is huge, but Dallas islike Atlanta where it's like it's a big
city but a small town running toeverybody and bruh. And and I love
Dallas because I go to Dallas often, but here in Atlanta, like,
yes, it's the exact same way. So I was like, bro,
i'mist see her at some point,like I go to the same public she
goes to, like, you knowwhat I mean, whatever, and I
don't want to have that awkward We'reboth looking at avocados at the same time,

(31:48):
you know what I'm saying, grabbingsome fruit, and I'm just like,
bitch, I will throw this shutyou know what I mean, Like
I don't want to do that tomatoslaps. So I told her. So
I told her. I was like, hey, like, hey, do
you want to go get lunch.Let's I'm in a better space to where
I can mentally talk to you andwe can be cordial. She goes no,
I say, okay, I respectthat whatever. I'm a better human

(32:09):
being, like it's good. Andthen she hits me with also, I'm
engaged, bitch. You could havestarted with it. Wow, could you
could have just started with you couldhave just started with that. You could
have just started with I'm engaged.I would have I would have been very
much so more receptive of you sayingI'm engaged. The conversation would have ended
immediately, yeah, or just shereached out and said, hey, I

(32:32):
just want to let you know.But she doesn't have to do that though,
Brian, But I know she doesn'thave to. She doesn't owe me
that. No, don't have to. But I mean, like you,
look, did you did you tellyour ex when you got married to Jessica?
I told her when? Not aboutit? Like when did I?
No? I actually did? Iactually did. I actually did tell my

(32:55):
ex I got married. Because andit's a two prong thing because one,
my ex was doing this thing whereshe sells she's a Dalist celebrity if that
in the UK, or was saydrops more about the day. But she
has a right now, she hasthis cycle where I can see that she's

(33:16):
trying to do something. So shestarts firing up Daily Mail, the Star,
like all those stupid UK publications,and I started finding my name getting
tagged like Google name checked for real, yeah in the UK and like Daily
Mail and stuff. And I startedgoing to myself, I think she's firing
up for something, like I don'tknow what she's doing, but I don't

(33:36):
like it. I don't want anypart of this, Like I'm good in
my life. So I flat outhit her up on an email and I
said two things. One, Ihope whatever you're going through with Simon Cowell,
which she accused Simon Cowell of likesexual misconduct something crazy stuff, I'm
like, good luck with that.Simon cow is like a billionaire, enjoy
enjoy whatever she was on the XFactors, the show in the UK.
And I go, look, goodluck with all that. Sorry that whatever

(34:00):
you're going through. But I wantto tell you two things are now.
One I just got married. Andtwo, if you don't tell the Daily
Mail to get my name straight upout of your stories that you're selling to
them, which I know you're doing, Yeah, we're gonna have a real
problem, for sure, We're gonnahave a real problem. And I don't
want to be part of that anyway. So I don't want to be I
don't want my name dragged into itand sure enough, I'm not even kidding

(34:22):
you this how much of a wellmaybe how much she was afraid of me,
just like speaking my mind and tellingpeople actually who she is. Immediately
after that, Daily Mail dropped myname from the biout and it just say
you know, so and so usedto be married to a comedian and radio
host in the United in the US, and they dropped my name out of

(34:44):
it. And I was like,yep, see, that's how I know
that you are a piece of crap. Like you knew you didn't want me
to come after you. So whenI said, like, get my name
out of your stories, you tellyour reporters you're that you are selling your
stories too, because that's how theUK work for sure. There's no such
thing as paparazzi. Pop parazzi isset up by everybody unless you're like,
unless you're Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey, which we'll get to that day.

(35:07):
I don't want to. Yeah,we have to. We have to hold
on before we move on from yourex. I just googled her. This
is how sad and desperate and patheticshe is. She literally went to Daily
Mail and they're running with the story. How she cut her finger cooking food.
Yeah, that's it. And guesswho's not in that story me?

(35:28):
Because I used to be in everything. She cut her finger. She one
time she was working out with thiscare b this is the care the great.
And here's the funniest part. Whenwhen I first started dating her,
I went to the UK with herand she's like, paparazzi is going to
be at the airport and I'm like, oh my god. And she's like,
take off your Seahawks hat. AndI was like, absolutely not wearing

(35:49):
the Seahawks, Like I'm putting it. I'm saying, hold on, was
this right after the was this theSuper Bowl crew? Is that? When
did you wear this hat? Whatyear? That was like twenty sixteen?
Oh okay, so it was alittle bit removed. Yeah, but it
doesn't matter. I was like,I'm not taking off my hat. One.
I just got a red eye flight, so I'm not taking and uh

(36:09):
but I thought that was because thatshe was that famous. No, it's
like people set paparazzi up. Theonly people who get paparazzi are like real
people, real celebrities. Other thanthat you're calling it when people are like,
oh my God, no more pictures. It's like your manager called this.
Nobody knows that you're at Panda Expressright now at the Westlake Hills.
No one knows that. No onecares folks following up. Here's the thing.

(36:32):
The average person doesn't know that,right, The average person doesn't know
that celebrities Dude. Before I knewthis, I literally thought she was I
thought she was famous. So wewere in Miami and I was like feeling
super pale and dowe not in agood space. But Dowey I've never heard
that, like do do It meansyou're not fat, but you're not like

(36:52):
in shape. Okay, means likeyou if you stuck your finger in him,
it would leave a mark and thenit would come up slowly. Well,
you don't go to say like that, but he say whoo when a
requirement from white man that happened.So no, it's it's just like you
know, like, look, youknow when you're feeling like you can be

(37:14):
doweye too. You just if youlike people. No, no, you're
doey because it's it's like a it'slike a texture. It's like you're not
the first person to take your shirtoff. Okay, you know the first
you have that friend Jazz. Thesame with women. The first girls back,
oh my god, it's hot,and then they're in a bikini top
and you're like Jesus, like sixtyfive, it's not even yet, like

(37:35):
and then relaxed, dude, doughweier you are. The more face sweat
you allowed to accumulate at the barbecuebefore the before you hear you let yourself
get overheated to the point where you'relike, I just gotta take it off.
Just that guy go in the pooland then you you the amount of
time you spend from shirt off toin the pool is like that. It

(37:55):
is, it is, it is. I went. They're like, where
the hell of Brian he's in thepool? How do you do that so
fast? I'm like, because I'mDowey and I'm good at this. I
feel what you're saying. It's like, I run into the water. I'm
like, I'm the guy who doesthe Hasselhoff into the water when I'm feeling
doli. Yes, because I'm runningbecause I don't want you catching me outside
the water feeling dowey. And we'rein there and she goes, oh my

(38:15):
god, Papa Rozzi's here, andI'm like what. I look up on
the beach and there's like a dudewith like a bazooka lens on a carriage
is like super long, yeah,taking pictures of her and I and these
are online. I am under thewater to my shoulders, like in three
feet of water, and I'm likeand I'm trying not to get out of
the water, and she's like andshe's walking next to me. So I'm

(38:36):
like six foot four dude crawling onhis hands and knees under the water like
an alligator or something, and she'swalking. She's like, just stand up
and walk with me. And I'mlike, oh my god, I don't
want to, and as soon asI do it, I'm super pale.
I don't. And of course thatpicture gets put in the Daily Mail.
I was about saying tabloids it,well, what happened was is her ex
before that was like some model weirdoin LA and so they immediately crushed me

(39:00):
for dad. I say he waskilling he was killing? Oh, there's
no way he was. Yeah.Yeah. His name is brad Alfonso.
Oh yeah, that sounds like amodel. Yeah, comes brad Alfonso,
comes with abs like that's a namethat comes with abs that long hair in
Race's parents. Yep, that's exactlywhat that sounds like, Fonso. Hold

(39:23):
on, hold on a second,So what this was not her axe?
Wait? Wait are you looking atGoogle? Brad? How did she pull
that? How did she pull me? You dick? Yeah, that's no.
What I mean is we are wealready knew you were in a not
great place. Jesus Christie, Noyou were. No, you were by

(39:46):
way too good looking for her.I didn't know. What I'm saying is
like, you know I've never seenher? All right, Well, after
the show, I'll show you becauseI don't want to name check her because
one she doesn't deserve that, BradAlfonso does. That's not I mean,

(40:07):
here's here's the deal. You haveyou seen Lord of the Rings Gollum?
That's basically yeah, her, that'sher. That's literally is it Gollum?
Wait? She looks like no,no, I mean no, no,
she doesn't, but her personality isvery ill. Google that right now and

(40:28):
it'll be like we will do itafter the show. We only have a
few minutes left because you have aheart out today. I do. Uh,
I'm a big deal too, No, j already allright, before we
get out of here, Jasmine segment, we're going to close on today things
you learned. I added three morethings since I last things you learned against
your will? This week? Jasmine, what news did you learn against your

(40:50):
will? You did not want tolearn it, but you learned it anyway.
So can I add that you thethree newer things since the last three
that I had them? All?Okay? First of all, all this
Carissa Thompson ridiculousness that's exploded since lastnight. Okay, this teen mom girl
that now has seven kids with fivedifferent news. I guess you just had
twins. Wait what Jeff Bezos andhis fiance and that creepy photo in a

(41:14):
truck. This is on top ofthe Taylor and Travis Swift ship that I
just don't care about anymore. Willand Jada Smith with butt stuff. That's
a good going. All the Kardashiananything. Okay, This Travis and Courtney
disgusting pregnant photo shoot where they looklike two hot Topic employees having demon sex.
I saw that all they do looklike hot top of your blade,

(41:37):
and that is a great descriptions.How did Travis Parker like become the most
successful pers from Blink as the drummerthe drummery. That is the greatest description
of that photo. Over, Heydid I put you there? I put
you there? It's so creepy andI don't and I listen. I'm not
approved. Like these people make mehate sex. What are you doing?

(42:01):
And it's so weird, it's soweird and so manufactured. All this is,
Oh my god, that's my bulletlist of everything. I don't know
what. Okay, let's start withCHRISA Thompson. So, she's from Seattle
and I've known some people who've hungout with her. I don't know how
to feel about christ Thompson. I'venever met her. But what is the
Christa Thompson News? She's a sportsanchor. She worked for Fox, ESPN

(42:25):
all over the place. I havenot seen the Chris of Thompson News.
What is CHRISA Thompson? So thatshe's a sports anchor. She's blonde,
she's about probably forty forty one yearsold. Okay, super cute. Yeah,
she's really pretty. She's a dateJason Williams or Jay Williams. Oh
the white du black dude. Ohyeah, okay, yes, okay,

(42:47):
So here's where all this craziness started. So she was on Pardon My Take
earlier this week, and she wasbasically saying, you know, when when
you're a sideline recorder and you can'tget anything from the coaches, that the
coaches were like, no, Idon't want to talk to you right now,
or whatever, players quotes things likethat. She would just flat out
make shit up. And so nowall these other female sideline reporters, like

(43:10):
I mean, jumped on this lastnight during the Thursday night football game and
it went like crazy viral, andthen they were like, how the hell
what is wrong with Amazon Prime forletting her even be on the set broadcasting
right now because she just admitted thatshe's making stuff up and all of us
take pride in our craft and allthat shit. Yeah, so it became
this whole thing, and then ChrisThompson had an issue a statement. She's

(43:30):
like, look, I'm not sayingI didn't make up stuff that was,
you know, obvious, Like shewould say things like basic things like yeah,
the coach said, we need tostop hurting ourselves, we need to
be better on third down, likecliche stuff. So it wasn't like she
was saying crazy stuff, But like, I don't know, I'm kind of
on either side of this fence.As someone who was in sports media and

(43:54):
essentially did sideline reporting on the radioside, they really do slap your wrists.
If you don't come up with somethingright, you gotta chase out.
I had a friend, one ofmy best friends, uh Jessamine in Seattle,
used to have to try to rundown my Mike Leach Rest in peace,
Mike Leach, one of the greatestcollege coaches of all time, because
he just said insane stuff. She'dhave to sprint after him, and he'd

(44:16):
say stuff like, look, youknow what a boiled pot is gonna boil
over the top if the noodles areprepared, you gotta throw Gainst Wallen second
half, dudes, And she'd belike, yeah, I guess you know
the pots boilings you are. Butshe would actually report but because the pots
boilers you are. But I'm actuallyI mean, I do feel bad for

(44:37):
that though, because if your jobis to report on the game and they're
like, hey, Chrissa, sowhat did Bill Belichick said? And you're
like, so they said that,you know, second half gonna come out
one hundred and ten percent? Yeah, we're gonna give it all all and
who at that point, what doyou just say, Hey, try to
get with coach and he would finda comment. I mean that's all you

(44:59):
have to do. Yeah, letme talk about the crowd, you know
what, you know they were Icouldn't get a hold of coach. So
let's pivot and ask me about ChrisO. What's the environment like on the
sideline? Exackly or maybe make anobservation note like or something that ties back
to a story that was relevant,you know the week leading up to the
game that you can tie back tojust something right instead of being like,
oh, yeah, they said,do we need to not turn the ball

(45:20):
over? Well okay, Like whywould you even say something lazy? That
just anyway? So she got completelydog piled last night, and I just
I have a short like I'm likeall right, I'm good until I'm just
like over it. It's almost likewhen you're at a party and you're like
when I'm ready to leave, I'mready to leave, like I call in
it. And then I was likeI'm done. S Can we move on?
No? For sure? I mean, also, you know what's funny
about that whole job, It's sostupid, like, hey, let me

(45:44):
go talk to the coach. He'sgetting his ass kicked right now, coach,
what are we gonna do everything?I'm about to fight. I'm about
to yank a scholarship from a freshmankicker? Do you think I want to
talk to you? So? Youknow what's funny? Okay, So I'm
gonna end on this real quick.So when I first started as a little
baby sports reporter intern, this iswhen the Cowboys had Bill Parcells as a

(46:07):
coach. I was terrified to askhim anything because it's Bill Parcells. Notoriously,
Oh my god, and notoriously hewas just brash, and you know,
the players were scared of him.So I did my so so I
went out of my way to kindof half ass asking him anything, and
I would be like, oh yeah, he declined to comment, just straight

(46:32):
up he declined. That's hilarious.All right, that's gonna do it for
today, new podcast. All thoseothers we can say for next week.
Travis Kelsey Taylors are still going tobe in the news, so are Oh
my god, I want to Iwant to talk about that ship late.
We'll do that next week. DeepThoughts with Travis Kelsey. We'll read through

(46:53):
his Twitter when he was like feedingsquirrels. Jasmine Sagery at Asben Sagery on
all social media. We are atwho is Rondell? I'm at mood Comedy.
Thanks for hanging out with us.Also, by the way, please
tweet at any of us, especiallyif we had a question earlier. Oh
yeah, is dear meat good?Dear meat is amazing? Also, can

(47:17):
we add maybe something for y'all totake with you today? Google Sojourner Truth
and read up on her. Yeah, are you gonna really human rights plain
us again? I am? Iam for you. I respect it.
I respected that. I respect itbecause she's on our side. I expect
that. Oh I got it now