Motherhood Unmasked

Motherhood Unmasked

As a pediatrician, Vanessa loved helping children heal and grow while giving their moms guidance and support. After five seasons of speaking with compassion, candor, and clarity, encouraging moms to own their pivotal role in the lives of their children and the generations that follow, Vanessa realized she left some moms behind. Girls who grew up to become moms who are still struggling to survive their own childhood trauma, in addition to the typical demands of motherhood. Stumbling under that weight feeds the guilt and shame that keeps you from showing up as the woman you're meant to be and the mom your children need. So, you wear a mask to hide both from your pain and the judgment of those observing you. Vanessa knows what that is like. So, she's speaking directly to you, the mom battling the effects of your childhood trauma. If you’re raising children while carrying unresolved childhood wounds from traumatic experiences including abuse, abandonment, and neglect and you struggle with expressing compassion, showing up with confidence and connecting with your child, this podcast will inspire your own healing journey and empower you to break the negative cycles threatening your family. Because no matter your childhood traumatic experiences, the hand that rocks the cradle impacts generations. And you have the right to decide what kind of impact. You have a legacy to change. It’s difficult, but Motherhood Unmasked is here to support you. Change starts with you believing that when it comes to you being the mother of your children; you are the woman for the job. Follow or subscribe to the Motherhood Unmasked podcast so you don’t miss a moment.

Episodes

April 5, 2022 9 min

Forgive has seven letters, but depending on your level of pain, it sounds like a four letter word!

Forgiving the person or people who abandoned, abused, or violated when you were most vulnerable sounds like asking the impossible.

And I get it. I lived it.

You feel like forgiveness validates what they did. But in this episode, I present a different angle on forgiveness. One that moves you from victim to victor.

Are you in? Let’s tal...

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Women talk about glass ceilings in the corporate space, but for those who experienced childhood trauma, there’s another kind.

The ceiling that says what your mother was like is all you’ll ever be as a mom.

If your mom was awesome, you may be happy to be half the mother she was.

But if your experience with your mom growing up was far from pleasant, are you satisfied with hitting your head against the ceiling of her limits?

Or are yo...

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March 22, 2022 10 min

 

If the thought of writing your thoughts and feelings in a journal sounds boring or worse frightening, in this episode, I talk about the benefits of journaling and the role it plays in maximizing your therapy sessions.

 

We're talking journaling from A to Z.

 

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March 15, 2022 8 min

Trauma is traumatic. “Someone having it worse than you” doesn’t make your trauma less significant. And the fact that it happened as a child doesn’t mean it shouldn’t affect you now. So how do you respond to the pressure to “get over it?” Listen in.

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March 8, 2022 8 min

When they say you can’t pick your family, it’s often about that embarrassing aunt or uncle or the cousin who asks to borrow money. 

But the truth is you can’t pick your children either and that’s the tricky part of parenting.   It’s a stretch to find the beauty in the uniqueness of each child, especially if you were tolerated more than celebrated growing up.   In today's episode, we slay the cycle of rejection to embrace the tr...
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March 1, 2022 7 min

When you’re assaulted as a child and no one notices, much comes to your rescue, you learn to fend for yourself. Later in life, you may even doubt the sincerity of those who offer to help because well—once burned twice shy.

 

But if you’ve noticed, life is getting stranger and harder. And the reality that no one should do life alone is clearer than ever.

And while it seems like the scariest time to let your guard down, it’s the only...

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February 22, 2022 7 min
Perfectionism and people pleasing are not the same. They show up differently and in this episode, we’re talking about what psychologists refer to as the fourth kind of trauma response.   Which one are you: perfectionist or people pleaser? Cheers to getting free from all of it! Listen in🎙
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February 15, 2022 10 min
Did you ever pinky swear when you were a little girl? That promise was binding like a mortgage. The only way out was death!

You pinky swore to hold someone accountable because you don’t have to be alive long to figure out people make promises they don’t keep—even to protect children.

So when you were mishandled and left to fend for yourself, you pinky swore you wouldn’t let that happen again. But that’s a promise to the little girl...

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February 8, 2022 9 min
As I often say, “Misplaced expectation is the mother of all disappointment.” And when you’re the mother with the misguided expectation, your children pay the price. As a survivor of childhood trauma you likely paid it too.   I know what it’s like to be conditioned to believe I had to meet “the standard” in order to feel love and accepted. I've also seen the look in my kids’ eyes when I’ve given them the same impression.   It’s ...
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February 1, 2022 8 min
Shame will tell you your existence is wrong because of however you believe you caused the abuse, the abandonment or the neglect.   And it will tell you you’re a horrible mother because you don’t show compassion and empathy as easily with your children as you do friends or strangers because you didn’t receive it in your home, growing up.   But you can tell shame to shut up. Let’s get into how in Episode 51 Shame Off You!   See mothe...
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January 25, 2022 3 min
While grateful for the five seasons of speaking with compassion, candor, and clarity, encouraging moms to own their pivotal role in the lives of their children and the generations that follow, this season kicks off a new focus.

Vanessa's zeroing in on moms often overlooked.

Moms struggling to survive their own childhood trauma in addition to the typical demands of motherhood. Vanessa knows what that's like.

So, if you’re ra...

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November 9, 2021 11 min

THANK YOU!!! 50 episodes of a solo podcast started during a world crisis is no small feat. I thank the Lord and I thank you for listening, subscribing and sharing this podcast with your mom friends.

You are living proof that friends don’t let mom friends mom alone! Today’s episode is the season 5 closer so that means I’ll be taking my customary extended break. Thanks again and enjoy today’s episode...

For some moms, motherhood feel...

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November 2, 2021 9 min

There's nothing like a woman! A beautiful combination of strength, savvy, and sensitivity, until we get so far into our feelings, all the rest goes out the window.

What does it take to raise women who will mother a generation of women more emotionally triggered than today's?

And how does getting a grip on your emotions play into that? Let's dive in and find out.

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October 26, 2021 11 min

What if instead of sentencing your future daughter in law and granddaughter to struggling with a verbally frustrated husband and father, you raised your son to be more verbally expressive. Talk about impacting generations!

In this episode, Vanessa shares practical ways to raise confident men who can enter a woman's world even of he doesn't want to stay there.

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October 19, 2021 9 min

Mama, you're doing the best you can. The real, rational you knows that. But there's another version of you that won't get off your back.

In today's episode, I talk about what to say to that nag of yours, so you can live out the reality that your best is enough.

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October 12, 2021 11 min

Ever notice how our modern conveniences mess with your parenting game?

Smart phones, two-day package delivery and dinner delivered in 30 minutes works great for us hard working mama juggling all the things.

But if your child is enjoying all the perks too, how do you raise grateful children? Children who appreciate benefits come at a cost and there's a blessing in the struggle.

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October 5, 2021 12 min

Empathy is a life skill. It makes for the most sought after doctors and the most celebrated societies. Empathy is a whole vibe that’s gotten harder to find in our modern thoughtless, touchless and tense culture. But it is the way of the civilized and you and I have the influence to bring empathy back on the scene. I’m excited to get into this one today and grateful you’re joining me!

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September 28, 2021 11 min

Keep it kind has gone out the window.

I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re hard pressed to find a kind word, much less a kind deed these days. And it got me wondering where did common courtesy go and how in the world to we bring it back?

And guess what? You’re part of the solution that could change the world. Let me tell you how.

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September 21, 2021 10 min

"Mom, what's for dinner?"

If that question gives you more "nails on a chalkboard" vibe than "music to your ears" then this episode will flip the narrative and have you anticipating your family around the table.

Yes, even the teens!

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September 14, 2021 9 min

Back in Episode 25, I led the charge to slay those destructive family cycles.

Thanks to Sarah Jakes Roberts, today, I'm circling back around the other side of the coin, so you leave a legacy richer than the one you inherited.

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