Eclipse: A Celestial Phenomenon

Some more information on the eclipse, including the underreported story of the comet that might be passing through as well 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is the downbeat on ninety sevento one, the freak. When the
sun goes down on my side oftown, that loadsome feeling comes to my

(00:21):
door, and the whole world turnsblur. There's a rundown bar across the
railroad tracks. I got a tablefor two way in the vand where I

(00:42):
see loon and I think I'm losingyou. I'm getting kind of hard spend
almost every night beneath the light ofa kneeon moon. Now, if you
lose your wonde and only, there'salways room here for the lonely, watch

(01:08):
your broken dreams dancing and out ofthe beames of an neon moon. I
was looking at the screen. Wasthat Kevin or Danny Singer? Which is

(01:30):
just bricks and done? I'm overturn cut? Right? We didn't carry
out that one? No, No, that's right, Ronnie done. I
was fair at the monitor. Player. Can this be our midpoint? Show?

(01:52):
Turn cut? Forever? Getting yourmoney? Hour? Right now?
Elvis is backstage getting holders there stretchhere. WHOA four minutes, I'm sorry,

(02:30):
four hours, Jesus thirty eight minutesand thirteen seconds away front totality,
totality. That song needs the drumsof the Great Ronnie Tutt going into c

(02:50):
C Rider and the man in thewhite suit coming out doing a tobit.
Oh see see Roda. It doesn'tjust mean Roddy kick at the end of
that whatever. Man have a coupleof things. My pictures Rick Flair strutting
out to their that's how different weare. Limousine riding, jet flying.

(03:13):
He was the first. He's havinga hard time holding those gators down.
So this is a segment that's entitledEclipse, a Celestial Phenomenon. I'm Kevin
Turner. Hello Kevin. It's DandyBayless. He's Mike Siroy. I'm Mike
Siroy. She's JJ Jackson. Hi, JJ can tell you Shody full confidence

(03:36):
that Danny's got Breaking country music newsat eight thirty. The details are funny.
Someone was arrested, a huge namearrested behind bars. Maybe the biggest
name in country music spent the nightin the clink. Who was it?
And why stick around for those beats? There's nowhere else to find these details

(03:57):
other than waiting for another thirty minutesyep for me to tell you, because
if you're like me, your internet'sprobably out. You got no way to
no way to look up these things. So rely on the downbeat Page Ellenburger.
Fox four is out in Ellis Countycovering the eclipse. The eclipse.
Yeah, of course Page got screwed. They sent her all the way out
of town again. We have Hannahbat of Fox four is at Clyde Warren

(04:23):
Park where the Benskin show on thespeakeas you will be from ten to six
today. Uh yeah, go outthere party with them. We have freak
Jesus as are volunteer field reporter todaywhom we might try to get him on
TV. Behind one of the reportershere, there's Hannah bought up in Clyde
Warren right now. Where is he? He should be there, He should
be naked under a robe. Therobe flies off just he should be helicoptering

(04:46):
meat, Yes, three feet behindus, meat, Carrie, are you
where are you? He sent ina chair. I thought you'll told me
to go to the promism to seeI roker both Where are you sading me?
Ma'am? So like everyone's out there, this is this is the story.
Whether you're tired of it or not. There's a reason it's been hyped

(05:08):
for three months. It's happening hereit ain't happening again in our lifetime like
this. There will be more solareclipses. They will pass, but not
with a totality like this. Evenif you don't care at all, the
minute that starts, I don't care. Who will start to tear up?
Like will anyone be completely aware thatit's happening outside and not walk out their
door or not lower a blind andwalk outside. I'm going to get emotional.

(05:30):
Maybe if you're an immobile person,then we will paint a beautiful picture
for you and you can listen tous at ninety Someone in the freak if
you can't get outside, yeah,or if you're if you're blind, if
you're blind, clouds, d stopdoing cringe, point in wow, and

(05:50):
I'm seeing cloud. If it's thatamount of clouds, we're fine. That's
thin clouds. You're still going tobe able to see the sun and you'll
get a great eclipse shot. Ifthat it's as bad as it gets,
we're good. But there's a stormmoving our way. Eight o'clock. It's
just gonne. Okay, Wow,the storm's not hitting until post eclipse.

(06:11):
I understand that, but there needsto be storm prep. This is the
beginning of storm prep prep all day. Yesterday, I looked at the map
on my phone and it was bigclouds only clouds, only clouds only already
now, all the way through twopm, it's cloud and son, half
cloud, half son. It's alreadybetter. Every minute that we get closer
to this eclipse, you gets better. But you're looking at a stupid icon

(06:33):
on your connected to something that knowsyes, does it? You need to
look at the actual doppler. Thedoppler tells the truth. Your Doppler's not
right. This is connected to thebest oppler. Your doppler gives negative.
Don't question my models. I won't. Mine's broken. It got too hot
last summer point is a lot goingon. US intelligence officials are worried about

(06:58):
this security warning right here in theUS from the FBI and Homeland Security warning
of potential threats to public gatherings,The timing of this, and why they're
concerned. Tonight, here's our ChiefJustice Course BoNT of Pre Thomas, with
late reporting tonight, FBI and HomelandSecurity officials are warning miss law enforcement about
the potential for terror inspired by thatdeadly ices attack in Moscow targeting a concert

(07:20):
hall. The concern According to thebulletin violence targeting mass gatherings such as sports
stadiums, concert venues, or housesof worship. In the United States,
the bulletin come just days before millionswill gather to watch the eclipse on Monday,
authorities say. Following the Moscow attack, Ices and his supporters celebrated the
assault and shared graphic and violent attackfootage. The terror group calling for similar

(07:44):
attacks in the United States. I'mtold us law enforcement is being urged to
take this bulletin seriously. Jesus Kevin. Oh, I thought I was ruining
the eclipse clouds. Yeah, Ithought Tim had ruined the eclipse for all
of us. Well, I'm justsaying this bulletin. They kind of like

(08:05):
when this attack happened in Moscow theday, They're like, well, if
we did kind of warn them thatthis could happen, what does that mean
any group? Yeah, we tryto tell them. Well, no,
like I'm talking about like intelligence officialswere like, yeah, not surprised here,
Well are they telling us anything whatyou just heard? Look out,

(08:28):
Well it's just a general warning forany large gatherings. I hope you're right.
Well, yeah, but it feltlike that one had a little more
specific specificity, do it. Yeah. Also, there's a little comment that's
going to be in the sky today. See a comet, a rare comment.

(08:48):
This is the devil comet all rightnow, it's horn shaped, but
it could make an appearance during theeclipse. Shut up, this comment is
No, it's way past Earth justas the moon crosses the Sun. This
part up. If you can timeit out now, yeah, seriously,

(09:09):
have to turn it out within Yes, at the second that you and the
comet passes in front of the eclipse, you will achieve true divinity and everlasting
life. I believe this planet.And then there and look there's Jesus disguised
as the Statue of Liberty. Uhhuh, you're like Jesus, you get

(09:31):
me. We need to get anude carry roped up on Memorial Tower down
there and Clyde Warren all right,and we just slowly dangle him off the
tower and lower him down into thepark right when the eclipse happened. Nude,
a nude freak Jesus. Ah,he's back. How many people would

(09:52):
really think that you have to returned? Yes, they would, as long
as we use a very thin cable. Yeah, which I'm recommending very very
monofilament cable. Well, I thinkthe world is prepared to have the fact
that our Lord and Savior is aginger. They don't want that revealed quite
yet. It's not a ginger.He's a brownie. He's pretty gingery brown

(10:16):
brunette. Four hours, twenty fourminutes to get that, then cable,
and we just a monofilament cable andwe lower him into Clyde Warn Park.
Everyone, so get this at andhe's like Bubbas Bubba's The devil Comet has

(10:37):
a seventy one year orbit. Itwas last seen in nineteen fifty four,
will not be seen again until twentyninety five. Today is the day of
the Devil Comet. Normally we wouldbe talking about this, but we haven't
been because we're too caught up inthe eclipse. Where did you read this?
Everywhere? No, no one hasheard this worldwide web the devil comment.

(11:00):
Also, we're just gonna throw thatin two three hours before showtime.
Well, I've been sitting on this. I could have done the story last
week, but I wanted to doit at eight o'clock on the big day
that we have to be wary ofthe devil comment. Four planets might be
able to be seen. Now youwill need limited cloud cover here, but
you could get Jupiter on the leftof the Sun. You could get Venus

(11:22):
on the right of the Sun.You could get a hint of Saturn and
Mars to the right of Venus,but harder to see. But you could
see four planets and the devil comet, which is shaped like a horn.
In't that amazing today? Now?Yeah? Hard to see to the naked
eye. Yeah, it gonna betough. I'm not telling you. I

(11:46):
don't expect everyone to have a telescope, but it's possible that we could see
these things. Because we have not. Even if you've thought about it,
you've thought about it for five secondsand you've moved on. We have not
gone to the point it shuts downand gets dark for four minutes this afternoon.

(12:07):
That's insanity, that's crazy. Ifit happened I don't nowhere, we'd
be like freaking out and panicking.I don't yeah, okay, fine,
thousand years ago, yes, we'dhave been freaking out and pancking and grunting
at the skies. What did theysay on they had the earthquake? You
know, over the weekend and onSNL that you didn't have to happen to

(12:28):
see it. Well, they had. They interviewed the earthquake and the eclipse
at the same time, and theydecided they were going to team up so
that if an earthquake happened during theeclipse. Can you imagine like if that
had happened three thousand years ago.They said that that would be something that
would cause them to throw virgins intoa volcano. Yeah, exactly, that's

(12:50):
pretty funny. Came out started shakenout there in Irving. They're working on
serving up the world's largest moon pie. It weighs one hundred and eighty pounds,
it measures five feet in diameter,sixty four pounds of marshmallows. Now,
Mike, do not worry about this. But there's one hundred and twenty

(13:11):
eight eggs needed to make it.But you won't know taste them, you
won't know. And they're serving thisat the Levey e vent Plaza off of
Los Colinas Boulevard, to which Isay, moonpie heist. You're gonna steal
their moon pie? You want tono moonpie delicious street and never gets enough
credit. I haven't had one sinceI was a little granted, I'm a

(13:33):
marshmallow guy. I mean they're alwayspretty good. My favorite sandwich is the
fluffer, notre but like, wellwith that vanilla moonpie is spare give me
it's got to be the choco.They got the choco? Yeah, I
need choco. The yellow one's moreof a banana though than vanilla. Right.
Yeah? Do you feel like onlyfive feet diameter for the world's largest
moon pie? I saw this newsstory over the weekend. I was like,

(13:56):
that's the world record. We couldbeat that next week total, Let's
make a six foot moon pile.The size of this table wins it.
Yeah, seriously, let's do itright here on the table. A look
at that. That's a eight foottable, bro. I bet that's at
least eight feet. And then eventhen, it doesn't seem like that right
there, Like I've seen pizzas thatare a mile long. Yeah, that

(14:16):
aren't good enough to get it.But they're gonna make a moon pie the
size of your your dynet set andit's ginnis get the nerd with a suit
on and a clipboard and a freakingmeasuring tape. Yeah said as dynet set.
The only time you hear Dynete setson the prices right in casual conversations.

(14:39):
I don't want to steal the moonpie, but I am keep I'm staying
vigilant on eclipse heists. Okay,you know that's the time. It's a
time. If you know that,I can tell you everyone is going to
be looking with glasses on that preventyou from seeing anything else. They're all
going to be looking up. Youknow what you can do down watch out
for pockets. Clyde Warren Park andI am an accomplished pickpocket. I don't

(15:03):
use my powers for evil anymore,but I could go down there and be
standing in the parking lot with fiftywallets, watches, belts. You would
be none those phones in Wade's wallet. Is it were saggy pants easy,
like you could pluck, pluck pluck. I've seen these skills and action back
when you used to apply them forevil. Yea, But I mean you

(15:24):
could probably have twenty phones unlocked becausepeople are too busy staring at the sun,
and when you put you wave wandwave wand the phone in front of
their faces, they're not gonna beable to see it because they're wearing those
stupid glasses show them, Yeah,this is your phone unlocked, venmo emptied
empty, and then put it back. D Bayless at gmail dot com zell

(15:48):
everything to their like you know,put the phone empty, your accounts,
phone back in your pocket. Thatwas great. Let's all applaud the eclipse.
Guess who's rich? Yeh, guesswho doesn't band? Right? Our
band is going to be rich.Meanwhile, you're stopping to get gas at
Valero to get back home, andguess what, you don't have any money
in your account? Declined, decline? What's that? Yeah? And him

(16:11):
and I laughing, drinking umbrella drinksand old fashions and our band Preemium gin
writing new songs together, new song. I already got a new van.
Yeah, I've been waiting for youguys to release some new stuff. Oh
just wait, Yeah, we're releasingan Eclipse concept double LP. Oh that'll

(16:33):
be good in twenty thirty three whenAlaska gets one, because that's the next
one. Also, guess who willbe headlining the Anchorage Civic Center in nineteen
years for nine years? I don'tknow that bit ran out? What else
do you have? Kevin Well?The other one's twenty forty four, but
that's gonna be Montana, North Dakota. There's no there's not another one hitting

(16:56):
us in our life. We gotit today, not here. I just
think, what's the next devil commet? The devil comet is twenty seventy one
years from now, twenty ninety five. No chance you, no chance you
live that long. No, no, like there's like the next one that
happens here in dfwth three hundred years. Yeah, that's crazy and we won't

(17:19):
be. I mean started into thesun, so I mean, if there
are people who are made who canwithstand big time heat, if they're heat
people, I don't know. Theother thing is if you were going to
listen to Dark Side of the Moon, you could time it up. Oh

(17:40):
oh my god. People love timingup. It's forty the moon. It's
forty minutes and fifty three seconds now, they suggest on this article I was
reading, they suggest seventy seconds beforethe local total eclipse sign just fire up
eclipse. But what time do wehave to start in the air tonight to
hit the part. Now that's gettingtough. Now, yeah it goes dark

(18:07):
a reverse. What time do youhave to fire up in your eyes?
By Peter Gabriel to where it hitsthe first chorus when the sun it's a
weird one to. Okay, Soif you were going here, we know
it's gonna be one forty. Thatmeans we would start up the album at

(18:27):
twelve forty twelve thirty twelve twenty nine, six minutes after the it partially starts.
It starts cutting in anyways, becauseat twelve twenty three is when we
start grooving. Now on when webut twelve twenty three, well, there
will be a palpable buzz throughout theMetroplex and Hillsboro I'll imagine, is Dave,

(18:52):
there's somehow the city of note forthis. Yeah, as one scientist
said, this is the best placeto see the eclipse. That scientist who
said that he's on the city councilfor Hillsboro in cider trading or incisor trading
because he's also a dentist. Comingup next, Danny has Dinga's Morning News.

(19:17):
We'll try to recover from that punchlinewith the news where we will tell
you a tale about one of thebiggest stars in the world of country music
spent the night in jail. Youwon't believe why. Next