The Opener: April 8, 2024

Here's the opening segment for Monday April 8th, 2024, featuring a weekend check and the kickoff of the official solar eclipse pregame party 

Episode Transcript

(00:17):
Good morning DFW. We are sixhours and forty one minutes away from totality.
It's a solar eclipse pregame party live. You're gonna see new stations out
and about today. For instance,Channel eight's in front of Reunion Tower and
we hope it doesn't fall on her. You're gonna have the bend skinche on

(00:40):
the speakeasyat at Clyde Warren Park todayfor solar eclipse. But your comedy first
responders, now, they don't getto go have the fun like everyone else.
They come in, go into theirlittle cave and they do their job.
No days off until next week whenI take about six straight workdays off

(01:00):
out Fox four will send that poorbastard, Dan Godwein out in the middle
of a field somewhere, Dan Godwin, go check out Totality from a cow
on the back of a cow ina field of corn. I don't know.
Good morning Kevin, Good morning Danny, Hello coomring JJ. That's everyone

(01:23):
more than Mike. How long istotality today? Four minutes? Okay,
I'm trying to sync it up perfectly. What you mean he wants to go
to heaven and that's how you go. Well, There are some conspiracies for
sure. On that eight we gothell Bop situation. Oh boy, it

(01:44):
was on our way. I hadyour Nike jumpsuit on and your white sneakers,
you and Roxy getting ready. Todayis the final day, it's all.
It's all come to a head.That the chickens is coming to roost?
Is that what they say? Sure? Is that the same? You're
only I don't know kind of yourdepartment. What chickens do they? They're

(02:07):
just my neighbor, don't really?Is that your glasses? Can you believe
how dark they are? It's youcan't see it there. I didn't know
that. Like you can look ata bright light in your house, so
you can get right with that light. Look at those they're certified. You
have to lick. There's a dosay that. There's a label on there.
It's a is O. If youhave goggles that don't have that is

(02:29):
O with a ball around it.Not certified, will damage your retina.
Those are funny looking them all?Should they there's an eagle on them?
Yeah, it looks those are verypatriotic. It looks like Toby Keith and
Stevie Wonder started a glasses company together. Mike, are you playing cheap sunglasses

(02:49):
on your computer right now? Itdidn't start. Why would you do that?
No reason. It's gonna be aweird ass that it cost nine hundred
dollars. They weren't cheap. Ithink they are, right, twelve bucks.
Actually, how many did you buy? Did you buy like eight pair?
I didn't buy a single one.You got twelve dollars. No,

(03:12):
she bought two. I thought yousaid you had like eight of them.
We did have six, but Ithink they weren't certified. Oh yes,
so I didn't get a look atthose other pair. Yeah, you're not
gonna need those because you're gonna bestaring at clouds. No. No,
I'm starting to believe. What's thelatest, Danny, don't forecast darkness on
this day. It's the one timewe got to eleven and then rain to

(03:35):
night and it's moving in from thesouth. Dude, I saw I actually
have models. You know, Kevinclaims to have weather models. I actually
own three of them at my house, and I was checking them out this
morning. Got up a little extraearly just to go over my models.
And boy, that golf, thatgolf cell is moving quickly. I had
models. I bet Danny's had alot of models. There's no doubt some

(03:59):
of them got what HEPSI, ohyou like a bit. Some of them
got pregnant. That's what I wasexpecting. Check your pa. I got
a new lady for you on themarket, Daniel good, Would you be
interested in the services of one?I knew where you were going because Fanny

(04:24):
major divorce news to butt heads BaronCohen she's one of my faves. And
Isla Fisher from her breakout rolling weddingCrashers, and and Sasha Baron Cohen from
his breakout rolling Bruno. That's thething is I love her so much,

(04:44):
but she's been soiled for decades byBorat allegedly should have been on this Steve
Shack for bracket forty eight years old, ding you, I know, wheelhouse,
looking for love and all the wrongplaces. Let's go Danny auzy,
Oh good time? Am I?Did you like to come out of the

(05:05):
first night get some kangaroo with me? Oh my god, come on.
The eclipse is affecting well. Thismadness has just been leading up to the
eclipse the last twenty years. Arethere people out there who are like bumming

(05:26):
the the eclipse muss because yes,those people need to call in. Oh
are you one of those people,Danny? Yeah, at all those people
need to call in. I'm bummedthat we're not gonna be able to see
it. We don't know. We'restill waiting on the latest models. Yesterday
was crystal clear, cool today andstill PEPSI. Many said that it was

(05:51):
all cloudy yesterday too. If youlook like a week ago. I know
it's the countdown to the countdown rightnow, but I think we're gonna get
a window. And even if itis super cloudy, do these superglasses look
through the clouds. They can seethrough it. That's what that's what the
isl was looking for when they regulatethese glasses. Yep, straight through the

(06:12):
clouds. It'll still be cool evenif there's clouds, because the earth will
become dark for four minutes. Andwe said four minutes. But twelve twenty
three is when this bad boy getsrolling. Oh really, that's when the
act the moon starts, So you'regonna yeah, so it's gonna be kind
of I got My plan is rushhome, nap okay up at noon,

(06:35):
maybe do some stretches and slav squatnecessary information. No, I think He's
right. We all should stretch ourlower bodies for this. I will admit,
even though I know we're trying topromote everyone to go hang out with
the minutes against you on the speakeasy, Yet today ten to six, I
was gonna go and just take part, and then once I hurl the traffic

(06:58):
warnings, then I'll update you onin thirty minutes, once I hurdle this
traffic warnings, I said, Iprobably just take a old nap and there's
a local park near my house andtake a lawn chair over there. And
that's kind of what I mix adelicious whiskey drink at noon. And is
that right? Oh? Yeah?Do you feel like we should do something
different during these four minutes or duringthis time? Something different? Well?

(07:21):
I mean and for me drinking awhiskey would be certainly different for a Monday,
not for the old me that wouldhave been over. Don't come to
my house or you're just gonna sitat home? Right? I think me
and Malchi will walk up to thepark. Yeah, the park could be
cool unless it's packed. I mean, I know people who are like letting

(07:43):
some schools canceled, some office placesare normally doing the whole, like I
don't come in today, just stay. I mean, here's what do you
think the policy is here? Allhands on dess A lot of Monday bodies
usually here anyways, just one womanputting a little water into one plant.
That's what happens in our building onMonday Mondays. But Wednesday pizza party and

(08:11):
then we'll see you next Wednesday.Uh yeah, throw down on Wednesdays.
Just a regular park by his houseis not going to be packed, No,
I would think not. And ifit is, it'll be packed with
all my neighbors that I've come todevelop wonderful relationships with over the years.
But this celestial phenomenon is bringing intons of visitors to our land. So

(08:35):
places we might tend to think ornot crowded might be crowded. Today traffic
was easy on the way in.Yeah, it was fine. Do you
think so, Clyde Warren? Isthat because they're STI they're saying road closures
right around. I know we're gonnado it. Whatever is it gonna be
like nut to butt? Nut toplus you really think so nuts hitting but

(08:58):
all day just gently slapping forward,but get the butts in front of them.
If you go from ten to six, though you beat the traffic,
and then by six the traffic's alreadycleared out. Just tay for eight hours.
Have you guys seen any actual evidenceof an influx of people in town?
No? No, as far astrack. The only thing I can

(09:20):
tell is, for whatever reason,the bar last night did about three times
the business that we normally would.Ah. And it's in deep Elm,
so it's you know, it mightbe one of those things people come into
town they look up, Oh,what's a cool place to hang out?
And you know it's in the past. It's made some you know, good
lists of patios and dive bars andwhatnot. So that's the only thing that

(09:45):
I could attribute that to. Andit was night, I mean, perfect
weather, yesterday perfect I went outto have breakfast yesterday morning. I loved
the public breakfast because we can't doit during the week, could after the
show, and I did. AsI walked in to Cindy's, a guy

(10:05):
was wearing a shirt that had abunch of stars on it. Planets made
me think he was a little interestedthree though I was out of town or
didn't ask. Yeah, walk,being that he's wearing a shirt I did
take a mental note that this guyis thinking about galaxies a lot. Fascinating,

(10:26):
So we got one. I didnot notice that I was over at
Cash's place, which is close enoughto Clyde Warren this weekend and no,
nothing, nothing crazy, although Ido think they might have some barricades up
sort of it. Clyde Warren Andoh don't you think that news people over

(10:46):
estimate and over inflate these types ofthings. Yes, yeah, it's almost
like a plan for the worst policyand then it never delivers. Well,
people are saying, like half amillion people coming into DFW. They love
that stuff because it's on it's youcan't prove it, it's impossible to prove.

(11:07):
So they love throwing out big numbersand they love anything they can turn
into a news story. But howwe talked at nausea about the damn eclipse
heavy and we are right now,Yeah, like we're contributing to well,
there's evidence we have something to gooff of. What Montana Remember the story
from the twenty seventeen eclipse and Montana, we did this story a couple of

(11:30):
weeks ago, three weeks ago.What happened? Well, they had too
many people and the one big freewaygot so jammed up that people were having
to get out of their car.Yeah, and go number one and number
two on the side of the road. That's not uncommon up there. I
think that was Chicago. That wasWyoming, And don't you do what I
think you're about to do. AndI think they went into a river.

(11:54):
It was a river. They don'thave rivers in Montana. There's no fly
fishing in Montana. I'm actually justgonna hold strong here and not give in.
I think you think about the worsttraffic days that Dallas has and it's
Texas ou right, and that isjust what The Cotton Bowl holds one hundred

(12:16):
thousand at its best. They're predictingfour to five times that, so you
would think, I mean, thisis a look, this thing will start
on time more than anything has everstarted on time late to the podium,
right, so for the Bucks andthe Knicks to get finished wherever. But
the one good thing is you knowthat people have different destinations exactly different destination

(12:43):
points all over the area. It'snot like they're going to one central place
like the Cotton Bowl. But ClydeWarren is some a popular place is Yeah,
it might be insane. But Ijust cannot imagine a half a million
people coming to Dallas Fort they justhave data. Don't believe hotels booked flights

(13:03):
expecting tons of delays. How manycancelations are going to happen that people that
are in driving distance are going tolook at the weather forecast, cancel their
hotels, not come up here.I think this cloud, you know,
predicted cloud coverage, is going tokill this. This is a huge day

(13:24):
for the artists. Normally formerly knownas the dark cloud, it's your biggest
day, the old dude, theultimate dark cloud is the one that ruins
the eclipse for the world. Right, what if it's crystal clear out and
they're just a single dark cloud thatjust sits in front of the sun and
the moon. Look, I wantairplane comes by with that makes like words

(13:50):
out of smoke, just writes BanniBayless over where the sun and the moon
are Bayless rules. I'm glad you'vechanged, man. I want this to
happen. I want to see it. I don't want to see it.
I don't want clouds. Things happento good people. We're all going to
see it, at least for aflash. The clouds are going to part
Yeah, and there it is.I mean, you got a three year

(14:13):
old kid who can't remember. Ithinking of my six year old niece that
was old enough to remember this.And I remember when there was a weird
as the lounar is the one thatmade a toenail. But I remember going
out in the backyard and like myparents are like explaining to me what's happening,
and it was just awesome and Iwant to I was probably that same
age, like I do want thisall to happen because this may not happen

(14:33):
again. It won't in terms oftotality for Dallas in our lifetime, never
again. You'd have to travel tosee it. You could chase one,
but he wants to go chasing theclips. I don't know some people do,
though. Apparently you have that onehundred and five year old man right.
Oh, he had to love her. Look at the airport, so

(14:56):
they're showing live shots in the airportempty. It's not empty, it was.
It's empty because of the fear ofwhat a Boeing will do to you.
More on that at seventeen boy thatstruck Southwest over the weekends. Yeah,
I see, it's not just Unitedfolks, it's everywhere Alaska. See
people flying in is odd. Iguess anyone within an hour or two I

(15:18):
can see you driving. Well,I gets it now, the people driving
to Hillsborough. A lot of peopledrove down to Austin. Yeah, I'll
tell you what. The people thatbooked flights to time it perfectly to be
in the air when when the damnthing happens, they're the ones looking like
geniuses. Now, yeah, becauseif there's clouds, you're going to be

(15:39):
above the clouds. I can seeit. But think of I think that.
Okay, that seems to like thedumbest idea. It's to book a
flight just to see you can bein a plane for that. Like,
what are the odds that you evenit's only half the plane gets it,
and only like one and a halfto two seats out of those people kind
of really get it because fat headbroad has got our whole head in the
window with their phone covering a littlepart that isn't her face. Yeah,

(16:07):
and you know, I just leanback for one second and then one of
the odds that you're okay, thesecond seat in your field of view is
really small, so is the pilotgoing to have given you a full show.
Here is the pilot looping or doingright? No, that's not they
can't do that. He's asleep.Like, what are the odds that you're
just aligned perfectly with this? Okay? And that would be kind of neat

(16:30):
if you can see it. Butman, that's a lot of trust to
put into their Go with the airportand get onto a plane and time it
out. I'm sure you figured thisout and booked the seat that you wanted
in advance to know which side ofthe plane you needed to be on.
Right. Flights are filling up,though, and they were charging like triple
for them, and it might beless about It might be less about actually

(16:52):
having eyes on the actual Sun Mooncollision and just seeing being up there watching
the entire planet got dark for fourminutes. This is why you should book
flights on Sarroy Air. We haveplanes with all window seats and they're permanent,

(17:14):
all windows. We're all else.Different flight. Is it a glass
plane? Different flight? And whatdo you wonder? Woman press proprietary,
they're not bowing, Zoe, that'syour slogan. Air We're knowing. We
make our own plate from scratch,Throy scratch airplane kitchen, artisan planes,

(17:38):
artisan farming table, hand crafted planes, organic plate. That seems like a
big, busty natural segue into weekendcrab. Okay, all right now,
no, it's having fun. Good? Are you having a good time over
the weekend. We're going to talkabout it. I'll go first and it'll

(18:00):
be quick because I know you guyswant to hear about it. I spent
a good eight hours watching WrestleMania yesterday. No, no, I actually did
want to hear because my timeline lastnight, and then I remembered I don't
have peak on too much, butI will ask you both to acknowledge your
comedy. Tribal chief shales her wallbecause I didn't watch any Saturday, so

(18:22):
I'm like, I woke up Sunday. I'm all right, cool, let
me speed watch Saturdays. Oh thenthat thing, it's five hours. It's
their super Bowl. It's their superBowl, two days in a row,
that last both days, last twiceas long as the Super Bowl. Yeah,
Danny was there. What does thatmean? He was there? He
was one of the superstars in attendant. Yeah, walle was there and Meek

(18:44):
Mill. Uh you feel like thatmakes sense? I don't have too much
to report. I just it tooktoo long. I did. Something happened
last night that was huge. Yeah, spoilers everyone, in case you're planning
to spend from noon until four pmtoday staring at your television screen the return
of a dead Man after Oh yeah, but more impartly after one three and

(19:06):
sixteen days at the top of theworld, some say, but at least
on top of the w W.Roman Reigns went down in defeat to the
American Nightmare Cody Rhods as predicted,as predicted by Brody, But he did
predict this was gonna happen a yearago too. It's true he had a
choice loss last year, and thenhe had an entire year to attempt to

(19:26):
finish his story, and it happenedjust last night. Now, for old
heads like me, he's the sonof Dusty right, he is Dusty Roads,
the American Dream, Cody Rose theAmerican Nightmare. That's some good storytelling
and Romans. Am I wrong?I'm going off clips of my timeline.
Didn't he have a choice to make? He could go left and take out

(19:49):
his other opponent, or he couldhit Cody Rhodes and get the and be
the champ. Boy, that's aweird question, Kevin. I don't know
much about this. I would sayno to that. I think did you
watch the main event? Yeah,I watched it. I don't know what
that means. The three guys inthe ring, there was a lot of
guys in the ring because it wasYes, there was kind of no rules

(20:12):
the Battle Royale, so listen tohow it goes right, No, it
wasn't a Battle Royal. It's RomanReigns right, the champ and all of
his friends are allowed to help.That makes sense because they won the match
on Saturday night. Okay, sothey got bloodline rules. And then Cody
just one man by himself fighting againstthe world with the world at his back.
Yeah, and then Cody Rose isabout to win and then uh,

(20:33):
Roman Range's nephew comes out. Kai, it's a right. He cheap shots
Cody Rhodes and he needs help.So then so you know, a friend
of Cody Rhodes comes out whatever,and then we get to the big names
and John Cena comes out okay,fing nowhere like nobody had seen him the
entire weekend all year. I don'tknow where he's been, Like during the

(20:56):
oscars, he didn't have anything.With a little envelope in front of him.
He shuffles full speed down the rampa tiny little championship belt. Uh
that he comes out right and it'slike, oh my god, John Seena
say the day. And then therock comes out and kicks John Cena's ass
and it's like wow, I RoaeMoraine is back on top. And then
what do we hear? Okay?Can I have it? Hold on?

(21:21):
No, I saw it. This, This is worth playing. I'm your
thing in What do I think?Is it the gong? Hold on?
We like playing pops here, I'llplay a pops some low level clouds and
also maybe some breaks in those toomuch weather? Okay, here we go,
Here we go. I think Ihave it now weather okay, ready,

(21:41):
yeah, I don't know. Yeah, the rock is out there.
Hold on? Oh wait a second? Is this is this going to be

(22:02):
stone cold again? Holy Test?Go ahead, man. The acting is
exquisite. The undertaker, okay,the announce Look, we're in radio.

(22:23):
We do this like there is apiece of you that could watch this and
go, oh my god. Theseguys are amazing. When you look at
the announcers, think about that.Michael Cole, Holy Christ oh what follow
well to adopt that. I thoughthe was going to love some wrestling too.
He actually made a wrestling reference duringthe game yesterday. I don't remember

(22:44):
what it was, Holy Christ.I think he yelled at Disco Inferno after
Johnte tied the game. So thenthe under comes out and kicks the rocks
ass, so then it kind ofbounces out and then even just and Cody
roads out there again. So bringme up to speed. Is the Undertaker

(23:04):
supposed to be dead? I'm alwaysalways dead? Yeah, I don't get
it. He's the dead Man.Did interview him a few years ago,
and he's interesting. Has it beenlike out of the scene for a long
time now, even when he wasat his peak. He's the dead Man.
He's he's somewhere in between the worldthat you know in the afterlife.

(23:25):
Oh my god, he's the Undertaker. Okay, that's why you yell Holy
Christ when he shows up, becausehe's come from the nether world. What
does he look like a bunch ofme and old Texan? Now? Does
he have a bunch of ghoulish makeupon? He used to in a more
cartoon based wrestling landscape. Yeah,he had like kind of purple under his
eyes, and he kind of lookedlike a makeup covered undertaker, but then

(23:51):
he turns into sort of a demonundertaker. I don't know who was the
guy. When Roman Rains is standingthere with a chair, Cody Rhoads is
on the right, there's a guyon the left, had blonde hair,
Cody Rhodes. No, no,no, blank long hair. Michael Hayes,
Michael, Michael Hayes. That's afabulous Oh, that's a that's Vince

(24:18):
Neil, Vince Nail. Damn it, it's Nick Creamery. Nick Creamer showed
up saying that had a choice takeout Cody Rhodes or the emotions hit him
from something that happened that was sethRawlins, seth Rawlins, and then he
said from something from the past.Yeah, well that was part of what

(24:42):
it was is people from the pastwere helping a certain side, the good
or the bad. And seth Rawlinsused to be with Roman Reins in a
faction called the Shield. I cansee how this would be awesome if you
cared about and he hit him witha chipicate seth Rowans ended the Shield by
hitting Round Moraines with a chair.Ten years ago, so yes from Moraine's

(25:03):
hit. He took out Henry Rollinsand then and then Vince Neil was there.
I thought the Shield ended with Vickmckew working a desk job. Okay,
look, that's great, good FXjoke from two thousand and one.
I made I watch most of this. How'd she take that? I mean,

(25:25):
by the end of it, sheloved it. She's a gamer.
She's a gamer, and it's funnyas hell. Okay, you know,
okay, you're not gonna like this. We both laughed at least ten times,
her out loud at Pat McAfee jokesbecause he does. He does play
by play for WrestleMania. That's reallyfunny. And she's like, I've never
even considered Pat McAfee in my life, and he's cracking me up right now.

(25:49):
She loved him. I'm going toopen my mind up to Pat McAfee.
I'm not even really suggesting that youdo that. But he's funny in
this because he gets it. Heknows the whole thing is a joke,
but a little bit serious for some. But he does make it funny anyway.
Cody Roads did it ended the endof the Reign of Roman. There

(26:10):
was family in the ring. It'stwo comedy surprises this weekend. Pat McAfee
funny and SNL was actually funny thisweekend. All right, it's funny most
weeks if you really dig in Danny. But we're not gonna go there.
That weekend crap starts and I sayI'll just go real quick, and then
I take the whole thing. Mike, Mike, Coming up next, I've

(26:30):
got the latest on the weather andtraffic for today's big viewing. Okay,
plus a special surprise and how Isaved a party over the weekend. Next
to ninety seven won the free