The Opener: September 27, 2023

Here's the opening segment for Wednesday September 27th, 2023, featuring a preview of Mike's trip to Buffalo, plus the debut of "Why Are You Up?"

Episode Transcript

(00:16):
Oh my Wednesday morning, morning ofthe very first right seven Freak. Let's
freaking chill kick off that tonight.Alma drops out some lake islands seven o'clock,
going to get your tickets to ninetyseven one the Freak dot Com Round

(00:37):
watch Asman Surrey. You can watchit with the downbeat. So a lot
going on on today's show. It'sthe most importantly the Lord of the minute.
I have some streaming platform news thatinvolves sports. And if you're like
Danny and you just are tired ofbally Man, someone has showed us the
way seven o'clock sports at seven,right or Cup one oh one is coming

(01:00):
at you. Max Scherzer is talkingabout coming back seven. I saw the
new video board last night at theAmerican Airline Center. Oh, and I
felt like I found a bit ofa loophole for something. Guardia attached her
phone to it. We have someapp you can play electric six in the

(01:21):
middle of a Kyrie breakaway or that'smore innocent than one I'm thinking, but
yes, sort of at seven thirty, that's when that's going down. Eight
o'clock, Kyle's something in a chancefor the callers out there. The Glen's
to get a little action. I'ma titively titled Let's Freaking Chill Kickoff Match

(01:47):
or the Let's Freaking Chill Championship orthe Gym Carry Championship or now those are
that good yet? And now it'sit's been a lot of time on this
been busy guy. Let's do somany podcasts? God, dang it,
you do a lot of podcasts.Not Yeah, I mean I do more

(02:07):
than you Athletic you do? Aboutthe about them Cowboys? I've told you
before I love the name. Ithank you, I thank you. You
don't love the content even before Ilike you. I always really like that
name. Do you get it?You know, like, how about them
Cowboys? Yeah, of course,Danny, that's what Jimmy Johnson yelled.

(02:28):
You have the Eagles one on theAthletic has it go to It's called Birds
with Friends. It's pretty good.That is good. So yeah, there's
at least trying. Can we dosome mini game of podcast you give us
the theme and we try to guessthe name. So I've got a bit
that I'm I don't I think I'mgonna run it out next week. But

(02:49):
I've actually I'm in the process ofcollecting all this, but I'm gonna go
through and get reviews of the showson the station and you have to guess
which show they're talking about. Ohyeah, so great, we're from anywhere?
Get your podcast? Oh okay,okay, yes, I have a

(03:12):
bit. I don't know it's abit, but maybe for tomorrow. And
I used to do this on theshow with my bro Ham on Saturdays,
where anytime we would go anywhere liketravel wise, like somewhat interesting. We'd
usually do it upon our return,but I may do it tomorrow before We
would go on like trip Advisor andread the one star reviews and it turned

(03:34):
out to be really funny. Imean, people will just place you can
find the loveliest place on planet Earthand there will be one star reviews if
someone bitching about it. There's nothingbetter than the one star review written by
a dude that can write and actuallyspend some time, yeah, concerting some
you know, clever clever lines.It's a blend usually because sometimes there's people

(03:59):
who you could tell English is thefirst language, but it's still funny as
hell. The funniest is like everythingwas great, but I hated this one
guy. Like there's one employee thathe's ruined it for him, and they
spent the whole time just annihilating thatperson. And then some they just get
it, they get where they werecompletely wrong. Like one of our favorite
ever was this really long one startrip Advisor review where they were just ripping

(04:20):
on how bad the fried chicken isat the Jefferson Memorial Gosh, which I
assure you they do not serve chicken. At one time, because i'd been
to Washington, we just read onestar reviews of like the stuff at all
the memorials in Washington. It doesn'tdo anything. It just sits there and

(04:42):
looks at you. So this weekend, I'm going to Buffalo, New York,
and we were going to visit majesticand beautiful Niagara Falls, all right,
and I already read a couple onestar reviews of this natural wonder that,
Yeah, that are really funny.Most disorganized who have ever been on?
Yeah, I think one lady wasmad that she got a little wet

(05:04):
on the Maiden of the Mist,which is the boat that goes into the
spray of Niagara. It's all compilethose maybe tomorrow for a Halfey, did
you take a poncho? Yeah,yeah, you could preview your your trip,
yeah, and look for the placesto avoid based on these scathing reviews.

(05:25):
I've done a lot of weird Buffaloresearch this week. I know this
is your first you've never been toNiagara or I've been to Niagara actually,
but we were on the Canadian sidewhen I was a younger boy, which
is Horseshoe Falls, the more traditionalone you picture, then they have I
think America America Falls because there's threetechnically waterfalls, and the American one is

(05:50):
not quite pretty like the beautiful HorseshoeFalls is. But I was there when
I was a younger boy. Butthis is my first one. Like Buffalo,
knew you work and the American sideif if that's what you call all
this so, yeah, first time. So if you drink a lot,
is it gonna be called Buffalo?I'll quit. That's Kevin Turner. I

(06:15):
saw boof last week at Rubber Glovesand didn't I just thought it was yeah,
yeah, that was a good show. I thought you were intimating that
Mike would get so drunk that hewould start boofing. Yeah, start boofing.
I never even really figured out whatthat was. It's pretty easy.
It was in the news for liketwo weeks, and I still never figured
out why what it is? Idon't just still don't know. That was

(06:36):
an urban dictionariot. Now wasn't thatBrett Kavanaugh or Jeff Kavanaugh's older brothers?
Yeah, Brett, he was introuble. I know. Scotty Schwartz used
to run around grade school and tellme that he boofed my mammy. But
I realized he told everyone that,and then he went on to start a
successful electronics company. Was on televisioncompany prize closet worthy low definition televisions.

(07:03):
That's like butt chugging? Is moofing? No, it says an urban dictionary.
You know the three most I don'twant to talk about boofing. Do
you know when I it's just BFand burro? When I say buffalo when
foods? Did you think of whenyou say buffalo? Buffalo wings? De
DEI okay, yeah, that wouldbe number one. I would say wings.

(07:26):
That might be a little wild wildwings. That's dandy bayless ladies and
gentlemen. They named the freaking restaurantafter him. Do you know the original
alleged original home of the Buffalo Wing, the actual place the famous buffalo established
now I can't remember the name ofthat bar. Yeah, you say it,

(07:46):
but buffs boofs it's Boofsfies Boofy's buttwings Anchor Bar. That's right.
But boys supposed to know that becauseit's it's a wide base of knowledge experience.
If you've ever I'm sorry, nightor I don't know, read an
article, yeah, I've never onceseen the Anchor Bar in an article.

(08:11):
You have. If you've ever readan article on the history of the Buffalo,
why would I have done that?Roy and I both have. I
just forgot it. Yeah, Iknew that. He knew. He just
couldn't think of it. Good job, guys. Well, the Anchor Bars
quite famous and known for being thehome of the Buffalo. The ones who
made it you don't even wanna becausethey claim to. But and then others

(08:43):
pop up and go timeline is allwrong here, bro. I think the
story is that in the fifties orsomething, the woman who was owned or
running Anchor Bar had a bunch ofher kids all playing, and they run
inside after hockey, and they didn'thave anything to feed them, so they
use these wings, which they normallyeither just discarded or used. Is it

(09:03):
to make broths or something. Idon't know, not much of a cook
did. She fried them up andput some sauce on them. And that
was what they claimed to be thebeginning of the Buffalo Wing, which was
the wing and the drummed attacked thedrum and the flipper. Yeah, are
they attached. Yes, when theycome, when God creates them, when
chicken, Jesus makes the chicken.So that's how they originally served. There's

(09:26):
some places in Buffalo they still dothat, but there's a lot of controversy
about whether they should be separated,no, about whether someone else, And
there's they're like newspaper proof of advertisementsfor the Buffalo Wing prior to the anchor
Bard apparently doing that. So there'sa wing war go on up there,
and guess what it's. I'm aheadingup there to crack this case. It's

(09:50):
fun right when you do. Idon't know why I did this. I
did a segment on text mix cuisineand the origin of it, and man,
the people, the different claims.You know that everybody wants to take
ownership of the origin of these differentfoods. Look up hamburger. Sometimes.
Oh I've done it. Oh mygod. Kevin I've done it looks like

(10:11):
you should have wrote about the anchorbar by now or a sandwich yea often
attributed to the Earl of sand Sandwichor Hamburg, Germany. Correct? Is
it? The isn' the Hamburg?The the god who those the horsemen,
the warriors on horses nights, nobefore nights even whatever, marauders closer than

(10:35):
nights because less steel. Anyway,they would have meat and they would put
it under their saddle on their journey, and that would tend arize the meat,
and then it would flatten the meatand turn it into what looks closer
to a traditional burger, and theywould cook it. But who was the

(10:56):
first to put the meat through anactual grinder? Anchor bar Kevin Turner,
he's back, he finally woke up. Let me take some minute, Kevin,
Kevin. But okay, first ofall, Dolphins and Bills as Sunday.
Yeah, and they playing noon.Man, it's the best game of

(11:16):
the week. Where are they playingnoon? Oh? If if flexing was
an option, they would be doingit here this week. I've never seen
a flex in Week four. Idon't do it yet they need to,
so it's high noon or trash gamesout there. Unfortunate, a lot of
jets on us. You have aBears Bengals and a Bears Broncos or something
this week. I mean it wasBears Chiefs last week. This week the

(11:37):
America is a national game of theweek. It's Cowboys and Patriots. Of
course, I can't hear from Micaat eight o'clock. By the way,
I know a lot of Mica audiobefore we give away some tickets to Queens
of the Stone Age or fall OutBoy. Yeah, and in ten minutes,
well, let's make it five toseven minutes. Why are you up?

(12:00):
To kick off a good morning Dfwhyare you up? We want to
know. Ideally, I really dowant to hit six o'clock am, grab
the grab a ringing phone line,yeah, and just start every day with
a one caller, random check inwith them. What are they up to?
Maybe give award them something if they'veearned it. So tomorrow, if

(12:22):
you want to call and have thatphone line flashing exactly at six o'clock,
we invite you to do so.But as far as today goes, maybe
call in now a few minutes fromnow, we'll see what's up. Why
are you up? You know whywe're up? We want to know what
you're doing. What are you doing? Why are you up? Like,
no reasonable human being should start theirday right now? Yeah, here's it's

(12:45):
six, it's six thirteen. Thisis for crazy people. No past the
crazy win No, no, no, no. When your alarm goes off
at four, that's nuts, that'scrazy. It is crazy. But to
get on the road and starting yourday by six o'clock, you've got to
be half bananas and you got tohave an alarm that goes off and around
four? Who does this other thannuts? And you're a nut like us.

(13:07):
If you're awake right now, wewant to hear from you, what's
wrong with it? Isn't every callare gonna be like I'm going to work,
dude. Yeah, they're probably gonnabe that. And honestly, if
they want tickets, they're gonna haveto do more than that. They're probably
gonna have to buy two tickets tothe albuma drafthouse and like Highlands tonight,
I think that's illegal. Well,well it's not. Bribery's too, and

(13:28):
here's why it's not. It's blackmail. It's not blackmail, it's murder.
And here's why it's not murder.Okay, and we're just suggesting that they
do it. I just will neverknow if they did it or not.
Well I can look, yeah,ignorance, who did it? And there's

(13:48):
not that many seats left anyways.But you know, we'd like to feel
that thing out just so they don'tthink we're a complete abject failure. We
want to fill it out without soundingdesperate. Yea, that's the goal here,
right everyone again, Ye, it'sgonna come in perfect. Yeah,
we're gonna be fine. Have youall seen that movie in a long time?
How long has it been job seenAceventure a Pet Detective? Twenty five

(14:09):
years? Maybe? Maybe you know, I may have only seen it one
time when it came out, andmaybe once on a cable network. Yeah,
like seeing it in full yeah boy, something like that. Well you're
gonna come out. Yeah, dang. Pretty wild run of films between that
and The Mask, and that kindof created this world where Jim Carrey,

(14:33):
I believe, for was it thecable guy he held out for twenty million
dollars during a low budget movie.But that was a big story and we'll
see the first twenty million dollar man. I think he was the first twenty
million dollars movie Guy. I reallydo, because this was a big article
about how big a step up thatwas. There's a low budget movie too

(14:54):
that was killed critically at the time. It was amazing. O. It's
wild and movies can get panned,you know when they come out and three
years later people are like, holymovies, great because he did a little
pivot and you know, scared people. Oh no, maybe we do that
one year from tonight, Cable Guy. He also did The Batman that same

(15:20):
year. Oh the Batman, Yes, a good call, jj Y,
which let me just say, Iwas a kid when it happened. Those
Batman movies are not that bad,dude, They're awful. The first one
was great, the very first onewith Keaton and Nicholas with Danny DeVito.
Is the Penguin, Yeah, JackNicholson, not Jack Nicholas. I know

(15:43):
it's Ryder cup Day. You're lookingat behind Kevin, disembodied heads of golfers
behind Kevin. Tommy Fleet was rightthere. That makes you happy. No,
the freaking penguin was not in thefirst one. The first one was
good, The second, third onesthose were with mister Freeze. That was

(16:03):
among the worst things ever put ona movie screen. Yeah, you go
watch the pun medley from mister Freezeon YouTube. No, it's it's so
bad, just chill who was misterFreeze? Arnold Jones? Arnold Who?
Who is Tommy Lee Face? Thatwas stupid too in real life too,

(16:26):
By the way, still a greatactor doesn't matter. It matters a little
to be a two faced person.It could be a jerk, an ornary
jerk. Gene Hackman was a famousjerk and difficult to work with, but
an incredible actor in reality, Kevin, aren't we all just different versions of
ourselves at any given time. Notme, one guy who focuses only on

(16:49):
this show. Only we appreciate yours. I have one podcast that I would
ever do. How about them cowboys? I'm just saying, He's just saying.
That's tonight Alamo Drafthouse in Lake Islands. I wasn't gonna say, damn
it, oh Ace Fentura. SoI watched it during COVID, and I'm

(17:14):
not gonna spoil anything because you guysremember, you will remember when you watch
this movie tonight. Though. Firstof all, lots of dolphins talk,
which is so good. Yes,I mean this movie is a sports movie.
Miami Dolphins heavily involved. But bback in the day with movies,

(17:34):
these comedians, this comedic actors werejust kind of allowed to play to the
camera. So tonight, when you'rewatching the ninety minute cinema classic A Spentura
Pet Detective, I'm not telling youto play out your stop watch, but
try to have in your head justa rough estimate of how much time in
the movie is wasted or just usedon Aceventura just doing a kind of one

(18:00):
on one with the camera, becauseit does eat up a little bit of
the running time. Okay, it'sand it's kind of incredible because not everyone
can pull that off, like fourthwall winks and stuff are like dialogue at
the camera because those are different,not fourth wall winks, but just a
little bit of extra time in thescene of him just kind of doing a

(18:25):
thing moving around. Yeah, theycall that acting. Kevin, you don
remember the time he went on JayLeno one time and he uh, he
did a really good bit where hetold did he make his butt talk?
Well, he said that he hadhit. He told Jay, he told
Jay no, that's gonna happen tonighta lot and it's to tone loke.

(18:47):
But he went on Jay Leno,and he told Jo. He goes,
I've hypnotized your audience. He's doingthe thing. When I say the word
set him in, they'll give mea standing ovation. Or he goes when
I said the secret word, they'llgive you a standing ovation. And then
I don't know where he does athing. He's promoting the movie, and
then he goes Cinnamon and they allstand up and going crazy. It's so

(19:10):
funny. I mean, he wasjust nuts. I don't know if I'm
like an eleven color holding it downthat and I'd like to see a stand
up from like the eighties. It'sincision nobody, but it's still insane.
Oh my god, you're just rubberface man. Anything for a laugh.
It's like he can dislocate his shoulderat any moment. Yes, it's amazing,

(19:30):
great though, but do you wantto do the world debut of Good
Morning DFW? Why are you up? I didn't know if there was a
coal one in there, and let'sjust ask the question. All right,
JJ, let's have fire one uphere. Hid morning? What's your name?
Good morning? No one? What'sgoing on? Guys? You know?

(19:55):
No one? If you won anythingin the last sixty days? Oh
No, ain't one in it sangat all. I'm not really calling to
win anything. I just wanted totalk to you. Do balls? Oh
yeah, Well we have a questionfor you, Nolan. What's that?
Nolan? Why are you up?Oh? Because I ain't been to bed
man. I worked night shift overhere in Bridgeport and on my way home.

(20:18):
Just listen to y'all on the way. Uh. I had to usually
hitch all on the podcast while I'mat work. Y'all keep you going.
Okay, A couple follow ups.You work in Bridgeport and you said you
worked the night shifts, so alot of what a lot of business are
you in, sir? I workin the rock mine. I'll make big
rocks in the little rocks man.Really, see, that's what I told

(20:41):
you when my parents threatened me withreform school. That that's what I was
told that it would be that Iwould wear a striped outfit with a ball
and chain around my leg and Iwould be crushing big rocks in the little
rocks. And you made a damncareer out of it. Nolan, look
at you, but that sounds morelike prison. I play with big tonk
was do you what do you?Uh? What are you rocking. I'm

(21:03):
running front endloader. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's the man? I
genuinely don't know. You're the mine, Okay, what's the It's more like
a quarry, right, yeah,yes, sir, yeah, okay,
so you're taking rock out? God, just tell me what it is what

(21:25):
you're doing over there. So basicallythey go in and now blow a big,
really big hole in the ground andthey take those, They take all
the rocks that they get and theycrush it into certain different sizes. It's
been on what what they're selling,and uh, I mean that's really it's
It sounds basic because it's pretty basicto sell it as for people's yards and
stuff your yards, the gravel roadsyou drive on. We sell stuff for

(21:51):
textile to mix in with the roads. Do it all? I'm sorry,
what kind of rock are you?Are you groching right now? Well?
My for is a limestone, soit's yeah, it's pretty soft rock.
But yeah, make yeah everything.Oh what why do they have you do
it at night? Can't you doit in the day? Oh? Well,

(22:11):
they run twenty four hours, socrushing rocks never sleeps, Kevin,
Oh yeah, crushing rock never sleeps. It pays better at night. Anyway,
we have the rock junckis okay?Okay? When you when you when
you blow a big ass hole inthe ground and take the rocks for roads
and people's yards and stuff, doyou fill up the hole with anything?

(22:34):
Or is it just big ass holein the ground. No, just a
giant asshole about about eighty feet talland about one hundred feet wide. Ever,
take that's amazing. Did you listento music or listening to the freak
while you're in there crushing rocks?Well? Yeah, y'all off there,
So I hit I get all thepodcasts, and I use the catch eose
first two or three segments on theway home in the morning, and I

(22:55):
try not to listen to y'all orany of the other shows anymore until I
get to work. Man, Okay, so when do you what's your sleep
pattern? Like you go home andcrash? Or do you you hit the
early morning alcoholics bar that just opensor how does that work? Well?
They got one of those. Ineed the address, but no, I
just normally go home, try towind down a little bit, and then

(23:17):
uh yeah, pass out, wakeup about three or four o'clock, get
the rest of my little day done, and then going to day amazing.
You have a family. Oh yeah, I got a wipe two kid.
All right, that's so cool.Do you have to go over the bridge
at Runaway Bay when you come home? Oh? No, I actually live
in Springtown now. I used tolive in Runaway Bay. Yeah, and

(23:37):
I crossed at Lake Bridgeport all thetime. Yeah, he's out there on
one ninety nine. Cavo drafted thatall the time. That's right. Yeah.
Going to Alney Huh, yes,sir, have you ever been to
Alny? I've driven through it.Yeah. I blinked and I missed it.
But I just do it. That'sthe truth. I think that's something.
You ever hang catfish over there inBridgeport? Yeah? I like the

(23:59):
same bass a little better over there, but they got some good catfish in
that lake. Do you want togo to a concert? Uh? Sure?
Do you like fall Out Boy orQueens of the Stone Age? I
don't prefer the fall Out Boy,Putting the Stone Age ain't really my cup
of team can get you, Wecan get you. If you want to

(24:21):
go to Dicky's Arena and for Worthon March seventh, you can see fall
Out Boy and Jimmy Eat World.You're right down the street in Springtown.
Man, that's a hope a goodtime. We're tip no one with a
good time. Nolan. You andyour wife you go have a night and
then y'all in and make sweet loveafterwards. Yeah in the front loader.

(24:41):
Well, thank you, man,I sure appreciate it. All right,
there's no one, all right,no one? What a what a start
to Are you up on the radio. This is amazing. Look at you
here natural nold on on a Saturdayshow. Oh yeah, man, come
on, yeah, I can't Ohit's all good man, But all right,

(25:02):
no, thank you guys. Man, y'all y'allo, man, I
appreciate everything. Y'all do man,And yeah it's Limestone Live with Nolan.
Hell yeah, the freak keep bustingthe rocks. Bro. All right,
don't hang out, Nolan, we'regonna put you on hold. You get
to talk to this sweet JJ sayhi to her and she'll get some info
and then he'll be going to theshow. Dude, there he goes,
Okay, all right, that worked, we did all right. No one's

(25:26):
got some personality. Hell yeah,he's had an edge to him. That
interesting career. Now he is atthe end of his day, so he's
not groggy, and he's you know, he's maybe a little better than some.
But all was good. He said, get home, wind down,
then sleep till three or four pm. Yeah, and then his life starts.
Oh man, what a day like. I wonder how long wine down

(25:48):
takes. You have to be ifyou're gonna get solid eight, he's got
to be down in about an hourand a half. Right, Yeah,
he's gonna be down by eight,Go eight to four, okay, and
then he's got like a few hours, you know to do family stuff.
That's a long damn. That's along ship. Done at six, ten
to six, Okay, I betI'm guessing. So yeah, you wake

(26:10):
up and then you get the kidsfrom school or whatever and dinner. Yeah,
yeah for them, watch the firstsix innings of the Ranger game and
head off doors. Only if hehas ballies be out fair. It's fair.
He did set me up coming upnext, why ballies could be in
trouble based on what this team isdoing. They're laying out for all these

(26:33):
other teams how to do it.That's next to ninety seven one. The freak