041524 300 Jeff's Bucket of Crap

An amateur golfer had an awkward Tiger Woods-related press conference! Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? What’s your pillow situation? 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I don't know, man. Itseems like Taylor Swift has become the exact
person that she used to sing aboutin her videos. She's popular, she's
pretty, she's rich, and she'sdating like a star football player. Those
are the exact same things that sheused to sing against in her songs in
the beginning. I feel betrayed.I don't know, man, I don't

(00:25):
know, man. I always wonderhow do y'all come up with ideas for
shows? Every day? I wonderwhat are y'all going to do today?
And then Jeff gets his thumb stuckin his k ring, and I think,
all right, here we go.It's this sky easy. I'm ninety
seven one three, that simple,man, five o'clock. I don't know,

(00:47):
man, Send yours in on thetalkback. We'll play them throughout the
day, Yes we will. Idon't know, man. All right,
let's say we're gonna have some Hollywoodswinging. Before we get to that,
we're gonna have them the little bestDamn sord segment period coming up in about
an hour. But before we getto that, there is something we must

(01:07):
give. All we have to giveis what's in our bucket. I don't
know, man, what uh whatTiger gave to that guy. This is
a story that came out of theMasters over the weekend. So Tiger played
okay golf on Thursday and Friday,and so did some guy named Neil Shipley.
He was the only amateur that madethe cut or amateur if you choose,

(01:34):
And then he found out that hewas after they both sucked on Saturday.
The guy's cat. He was like, Hey, I know you suck,
but guess who we get to playwith tomorrow. And he's like,
no way, it's Tiger. Andhe was like, we're playing with Tiger.
And so this guy, Neil Shipleywas like cool and he's like a
twenty three year old, kind offat, long hair bard hat. Yeah
yeah, uh interesting looking a littlebit. Looks like a character from the

(01:57):
Goonies or something. Uh well,so they played together on Sunday. This
guy's name is Neil Shipley and he'sa fine looking man. I didn't mean
to poke fun. But after thetournament is over, I guess everybody gets
to do media because Neil Shipley wasat the podium. Man golf loves putting

(02:21):
people up on the podium. That'sone of the things they love the most,
and they'll make them stay up onthe podium for like thirty minutes.
Hell yeah, ask him every singlequestion they could ever think of about golf.
Well, and I'm surprised our guy, Neil Shipley didn't say I don't
know man, because it sounds likea reporter just made something up that never
happened, which made for a reallynice press conference. That's all on one

(02:42):
fairway, on a fairway, hewrote something and handed you a note?
What was that about? He's no, he didn't. I thought he wrote
something and handed you panted you apiece of paper. No, no,
that didn't happen. Okay, okay, thank you for your time, good
luck, congratulations on a wonderful week. Thank you very much. Appreciate you

(03:05):
all. Thank you. It's anice press conference. So awkward. What
did he give you? I lookedlike he was about two days out of
high school. Yeah yeah, he'stwenty three. He just a baby.
What a weird bit like that reporterthought he had a scoop? Uh huh.
It's like, hey, I sawin that fairway that tiger woods man.

(03:29):
Would he give you what? Whatyou talk about? So do you
believe him or not? So thisis Okay, that's that's where I am.
What I want to know is whatare they hiding? You think,
because everybody says that that happened,and you think, really, other people
saw it too. Yes, otherpeople saw it too, and oh I

(03:49):
didn't know that. Yeah, Andthe only ones who say that that didn't
happen are the ones who said it. Okay, wow. So what do
we think Tiger wrote to Neil.I guess we'll never know. I like
to think it's like in The AmericanPie. I don't remember the character's names,

(04:12):
but one of them really wants hisgirlfriend to be happy. And maybe
it's his older brother or something that'son the phone. He's like, all
right, it's time to put thisin your hands. It's like the sex
Bible with all the tips on whatto do. Yeah. I feel like
maybe that's what Tiger passed on toNeil. He was like, look,
you're about to be a PGA golfer. Here's all my tips on how to

(04:34):
put it down. Give my chance. That's what Tiger gave to him.
Yeah, if I were him,I would take that very very seriously.
What if it is just all ofthe voicemails Tiger has left it's just like,
tell her to take her name offher phone? What a cold Tiger?

(05:03):
This was, what a great woodsmell? Can you take your hand,
you take your dam You got meagain? Yourself? Everything which Hooker

(05:35):
was up that he was like toget again. You tell Rachel, you
do you? Rachel? She tellsyou tell that it's impossible to keep track
of them all in that Tiger era. Text in and let me know what
was so stressed out Tiger? Forme? I almost feel bad for him.

(05:58):
Why do I feel bad for him? He sounds so nervous, Well,
he is nervous. He's in deep, dude, I know, I
know, And unlike most of us, did she get the message? Did
she do it? I bet shetook her name month her phone? I
bet you did. Maybe he passedhim restaurants he should go to for each

(06:23):
tournament, like where Tiger was pullingwaitresses from. You think this was related
to sex. I can't think ofanything else when I think of Tiger.
Would okay, I think a guywho distance from that if he didn't do
a hundred dumb things and now hewould be the best golfer of all time
by a million miles. Send mesomething very naughty. But yes, his

(06:45):
legacy to me, what Tiger's legacy? Who's he talking to Pumpers liked to
pump that's his legacy to me?Yeah, me too. I couldn't imagine
he passed him a note that saidanything but sexy time stuff. I don't
think so. Or maybe it waslike, hey, Neil, I've done
it all except maybe in the Luckyyou think he was hitting on Neil.

(07:15):
Maybe I don't know, but maybemaybe I don't think so. I'm trying
to think, like what would requirea note? I mean, I guess
if they haven't exchanged phone numbers,it's not like he's going to text and
they're probably not at the place yetto be like, hey, what's your
number? I'll text you that thingwe were talking about. Tiger doesn't want
to be a text friend with him. He just wants to give him one

(07:35):
piece of information. He's got towrite it down on a note. Tiger's
note said, OJ did it fromthe ninety seven to two You should want
to say it out loud. Idon't know, man. I think he
gave him an NDA after seeing hismangled leg that's possible. That's possible.
I feel for tiger on that one. Having a bad leg's not fun,

(07:57):
that's tough. This is leg visible. I mean he's always wearing pants,
right, Yeah, I think he'sjacked up pretty good, and so not
many people have actually seen his realleg. I mean he almost died.
They almost had to cut it off, I know, and then we all
just forgot about any toxic collegey reportand didn't worry about why he got in
a wreck at like four in thewarning or whatever. Uh huh. Just
know his leg was like visibly allmangled, yes, jacked up? Maybe

(08:20):
does it? Maybe Neil saw hisleg. This is Jeff's bucket of crap.
I have a question for you guys. Okay, Julie, do you
sleep with a stuffed animal? Ido not sleep with a stuffed animal.
Why did you have to say thatso carefully? Well, I mean sometimes

(08:43):
stuffed animals end up in my bedfor my children, but I don't sleep
with an animal. However, Ido sleep with a big giant pillow,
like a body pillow. Kelly callsit the Julie wall Is, saying that
what husbands are for? Are yousupposed to wrap them up? No?

(09:05):
No, I mean my situation isjust is boring. It's like because my
back hurts, and so instead oflike twisting you know, when you sleep
on your side, if you twistyour leg all the way over, you're
like twisting your back and it makesit worse. So it's just supposed to
prop up your leg to be ineven with the rest of your body,
so you're not like straining it whileyou sleep. And I've found that that

(09:26):
really really helps me sleep. Soit's a really big pillow, but it's
not like shaped like an animal,Mike, do you sleep with a like
a stuffy shark or anything like that. No, I got no stuffy shark.
Walrus? No, no walrus?Wolf a wolf, no wolf,

(09:46):
do nothing. I'm so getting youa wolf. I'm getting you a wolf
kill. Jeff got you a wolfpillow? Would you sleep with it?
I don't know. It's hard enoughfor me to sleep with anything, you
know, other than just me.That's okay. You don't want anything in
your bed? Sorry? No?No, I think he'll find this is

(10:07):
helpful. There nothing else in yourbed. No, we gotta get you
one. No, what's your pillowssituation? There are two of them in
there too, Yeah, two Myside are on top of one another side
by side? What I have myone that I always use, and I'm

(10:31):
generally probably I'm thinking kind of leantoward the middle of the bed, not
on the outer side, but theinner side, and just roll with that
on your back, on your side, usually usually my side. I think,
Yeah, people, have you killed? Oh? Lots? You have

(10:54):
two pillows? You have? I'mnot crazy? Right, groups? How
many pillows you have? All?You one? Like your bet has one
pillow on it. No, it'sgot a couple of pillows, okay,
but I sleep with one? Doyou have just two? Yes? I
had were Jeff's coming from. Ihave eight? I have pillows on my
bed? What? Yes, I'veeight? Okay, Yeah, you're the

(11:16):
weird one here, all right?What happens to the other seven? They
end up strewn about? But younever know? Like sometimes, but I
mean, are they like all onthe bed going every which way? I
had four pillows? No, they'reall full size, regular pillows. I
had four, and then I decidedthat they didn't They weren't uniform, and

(11:39):
two of them were kind of Iwas like, those two are kind of
crappy, and they just end upon the other side and I use the
other two, which are good.It's like, I need four uniform ones.
So I googled, like, what'sa decent pillow that doesn't cost a
bunch of money? And so Iordered four of them, and so now
those four are on the bed withthe other four. So now I have
eight. But I was like,and I'll get rid of the other four
and the store that you to toget them. What, what's a decent

(12:01):
pillow that does cost a bunch ofmoney? Yeah, that was the name
of the store. It's a lotof that store signage is wild. It's
a big sign, but you stillcan get real close to read it because
it's so many words. Okay,is that it's a lot. I'm surprised
you do suffocate in all of yourpillow. No, I mean, what

(12:22):
happens to the rest of us atthe other four? I'm gonna throw in
the guest bedroom at some point.I'm just too lazy. I was just
surprised. Two is a normal thing. Yeah, I thought at least four.
No, I have at least twoon each side. I guess.
I guess depends on how many peopleare sleeping in the bed. Yeah,
if there's two people, then theymight each have two pillows. I like

(12:43):
a pillow that kind of sits upon, like next to the headboard pillow.
Yeah, and then one slant pillowthat kind of rests on the sit
up pillow. I don't know why, but if you were, like if
you were the only one sleeping inthe bed and you had that set up
and the other half of the bedhad no pillow, that would look creepy.
So you have to get four.You have to get two sit ups
and two slanty's. You can't havea two pillow bed. Mike, your

(13:09):
bed is hungry for more pillows.Kid it wants mold doesn't need more.
It has never said to me Iwant more pillows, more pillows. That's
a good points. Never said that. When the bed says to me,
I want more pillows, I'll getit more pillows three three, oh,
Jeff, is normal? Six pillowsper person here? Eight one seven bruh,

(13:31):
you need one pillow. You're nota girl? Nine seven four pillow
minimum? What I agree? Ithink it's a four pillow minimum. I
think a bed with two pillows onit looks very sad. It looks like
you ran out of money when you'regetting pillows. Okay, Well, I've

(13:52):
got two. I've got two otherpillows that are kind of decorative pillows,
you know, okay, so kindof fool yeah pillows. I guess those
are called okay, but when I'min there sleeping or or what hupping,
then those are nowhere to be found. Those are on the on the floor,
on the table, or somewhere ifyou're rooting around on someone, if

(14:15):
I'm rooting around, we have sixregular and four decorative. Ten total.
God. I used realize people weresome pillow crazy. I used to have
one or two pillows, but Ialways felt like I didn't have enough,
and it was because I was poorand I needed money. But then I

(14:41):
realized that you can have more pillows, and it's so much cooler because I
could go too deep and then ifI'm gonna read, I'll go three deep,
I'll go a third and I'll dosome slanting congratulations. And then you
could still like grab one and putit under in between stuff or set on
stuff. Or you have a lotof pillows you need you have to have
four. If you don't have fourpillows, you are doing it so wrong.

(15:05):
Two on four. I have threeon my side. Hubs has five.
Wow, how is the room forbodies in these beds? Man,
I don't know nine to seven two. I picture Mike's bed looking like a
motel six. Yes, I feellike it. If you go to a
hotel, far wrong. Yeah.If you go to a hotel, you
are not gonna have two pillows onthat bed. You're gonna have four.

(15:26):
If you go to a motel,you're gonna have two. Yeah. Are
you a moe or a hoe?WHOA? How dare you speak? I'm
a mo That's all I need too. But at the whole hotel they have
four pillows. They're assuming there's maybetwo people in the bed and that each
have two pillows. We're back toto a person, right, But a

(15:46):
four pillow bed, yes, Butto a person I usually have, you're
talking about eight a person. No, I don't mean to have eight.
I just ordered the extra four andI haven't moved the other four yet.
But no, I will have twothat I'll use, and then I'll have
two in the empty spot next tome in its position because that position needs
its pillows. Otherwise the room lookssad. If you walk in the room

(16:07):
and you have your two stack onthe left side, the right side has
nothing. It just looks weird.Okay, well I don't have them.
I'm stacked up on top of eachother. I don't have a two stack.
I know you've got them spread acrossthe bed and it just looks depressing
of one stack. All right,I've got two decorative pillows in front of
them though. All Right, Ilive alone and I have four pillows.

(16:32):
Gotta have your humping pillow three atleast, but five is perfection. Uh,
comforter set comes with two pillows.Normal bed arrangement is two pillows,
seven pillows. This is a lot. It's a lot of pillows. Only
have three, but gonna take Jeff'sadvice and make the jump to four.

(16:52):
We'll report back. You can't havethree. Three is not Three is not
a doable number. Like when you'remaking the bed, what are you doing
with three? You can't put themin a line. You can do a
little pyramid. You can do aone to one and then a one split
the difference. Maybe, but thatlooks weird. That's another thing. When
you're making the bad having a lotof pillows laying around slows the process down.

(17:14):
Oh well, you move those whileyou're doing all that, and then
you bring them back in. I'ma fan of like two regular pillows and
two decorative pillows as well. Usethe regular ones and you PLoP them down
and then you decorate with the decorativepillows. But you don't sleep with the
decorative pillows, but they're not reallycomfy. You're being sensible. Yes,
thank you, Mike, thank you. Seven one seven is the guy that

(17:36):
got me nailed months ago. Crowdsourceradio. Yes, just crowdsourcing life here.
Jeff's right. Two pillow minimum perperson. No, the reason that
I asked because I didn't even askabout a number of pillows. I just
freaked out when Mike only had two. But the question was do you sleep
with the stuffed animal? Because thisis a thing for adults. Our recent

(18:00):
survey shows four and ten American adultssleep with a stuffed animal forty of adults.
It's like, once upon a time, people wouldn't say that out loud.
Margo Robbie is one of them.She said she cuddles up with a
stuffed bunny when she's going to bed. Bunny. And there's another lady who
I don't know her name, andI don't know how to say it,

(18:21):
so I'm not gonna try. Shesurrounds herself with squish mallows. Yeah,
squish mallows. What are those?Those are the little They're real cute.
They're little animals and they're pillows.They're very cute, popular with the kids.
You like those, grooby, well, my girlfriend son does. Yeah,
and Darcy does, and you do. I like them. By extension,

(18:42):
do you have a stuffed horse?I wish? Do you have a
stuffed dinosaur? If I did,I would give it to you. Thank
you shooping. Big ones are reallycool, but they're very expensive, so
my children only have the small ones. Oh, the big pillows are dinosaurs.
Squash, I got the poverty squishmollows. Yeah, I don't tell

(19:03):
them. They don't know that thebig ones exist. They're like fifty bucks
each or something. Yeah, they'renot cheap ones. I'm learning. Experts
agree that this is okay for adultsto have their stuffies. One says perhaps
eventually the new kind of way ofbeing an adult will be to incorporate these
playful, childlike things. We don'thave to give up our childhood joy just

(19:27):
because we're adults. Yeah. No, I don't even more because now I
sleep like king Tuttan's tomb, orlike the way I picture Jesus, I'm
just on my back and across myarms and looking like the Undertaker. I
didn't really have a choice because mynose doesn't work right. So I used
to sleep on my side. Iwas a fetal position guy. Yeah,
and then I've made a switch,and this is probably why I have four

(19:49):
pillows. I would always wake upand I'd be jammed up and I couldn't
breathe through my nose, and soI had to do a two stack and
sleep on my back to have yourup a little bit, and then I'll
keep the ways clear. That's probablywhy I went to the four. But
it's a good look too. Fourpillows is a good look, and you
can bring you feel like side sleepingis what everybody strives for until you start

(20:11):
getting old and someone tells you thatyou can't side sleep anymore because of X
Y Z. For you it's noseand for me it's back. Well.
Also, my knees can't touch becausemy right knee is so bad that just
laying on my left knee it hurts, or if my left knee, it's
because you're getting and broken. Yeah, you want to be a young side.
I have none of these things.Really lucky. What a blessed body

(20:32):
you have, which I've always known. You're doing something right. You're going
to heaven. No I'm not.Oh you're going to hell more likely?
Coming up next remember five o'clock isit's all that? Yeah, I can
five o'clock is. I don't know, man, So send yours in on
the talk back, on the onthe iHeart app, use the microphone.

(20:56):
Coming up next time for Hollywood SwingingJewels? Where we headed? How any
Coachella bands does Mike know? None? Probably very few