November 29, 2023 • 19 mins
TC brings us some topics from the subreddit Am I The A-hole and we give advice!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
TC. This is big James.I live in Arlington, down the road
from the stadium. You welcome toparking my house. Bud sitting here driving
around and I just heard the greatestsegment ever. Mike Reiner has never heard
of future Mike, and you geta chance, go check out Futures Catalog.
He will definitely help your dating advicebecause he is the greatest dating coach
(00:20):
known to me. And well,for right now, it's to speak easy
on ninety seven one the freak?Do I see you nodding in agreement with
that. I think every should checkout Futures Catalog, absolutely, but you
(00:42):
arm ambivalum about him as dating coach. For me, I think that we
can all learn a little bit fromhim, you think definitely? Okay.
I'd like to see you adopt acouple of Futures dating principles in your life
and see how it goes. Wouldyou care to those out there right now
and let me see if I canembrace them. I'm not prepared for that,
(01:08):
Okay. Well, I hope you'reprepared for ranks at today at four
thirty five, because we're gonna beranking Christmas songs. Yes, I can't
wait for this it's gonna be verycontroversial. I will tell you very controversial.
Okay, yeah, I bet there'sno Mariah carry on there. Well,
(01:32):
you'll just have to wait. Youmight be surprised. And then at
five oh five, Mark Stein,the guy who broke all this and should
be credited for SAE. I knowhe wants to be credited for SAE,
and we're certainly going to do that. He will be with us and we'll
(01:56):
talk to him a little bit moreabout it. All right now, though,
it's time for us to think aboutand ponder just what we have to
give. All we have to giveis what's in our bucket. Thank you
so much. Yes, it's TC'sbucket of crap. I appreciate it.
(02:22):
I have a nightly routine i'd liketo share with you every night. Before
I tuck into my bunk, Ilog onto reddit dot com, go into
the subreddit. I can't say thename of it on the air. It's
am I the Butthole. Okay,guys are probably familiar with it. It's
pretty popular bit of the internet.You ever heard about this, Mike,
(02:45):
I don't know a whole lot aboutReddit. That's probably for the best.
I want to though, because Ialways hear about wild stuff that's out there
on Reddit. Yeah, there's alot going on out there, but I
don't even realize, And I thinkI need a Reddit coach. My Reddit
(03:07):
coaching would be just stay away.You don't he don't want to get Yeah
I do. He has Reddit coach. If you did, you you would
look back on that year's long projectand say, you know what, I
could spend my time better elsewhere.It's okay, but I want to find
that out for myself. You cando that, but you know, like
(03:28):
a lot of lessons in life,you would be better off just taking someone
else's word for it. But Iunderstand that's that's how also how I operate.
I never take people's word for it. Or should I do? Shoopy?
Well, I think the previous incarnationof the Downbeat set up a Reddit
account for you, like in oneof our first shows. Yeah, I
(03:49):
have no idea what the username oranything like that would be, so pretty
much be starting from scratch. ButI know you were on there for at
least a day or two, andthen I think you just and gave up.
See I agree with that Mic,That Mic is right. It's it's
a big site. So you doget all kinds. I think that it's
(04:10):
it tends to track. Like,you know, you can imagine people who
spend a large chunk of their lifereading commenting on a user generated website.
You're imagining a certain kind of person. And I'm here to let you know.
I think you're right. But youknow, it's big enough that like
everyone along and everyone's heard of it, you know whatever. And so the
(04:32):
part of it that I'm interested in, and we'll check every night before bed,
is uh, just people submitting conflictsand asking who's wrong. And yeah,
I don't know if it's a greatway to spend my time. Like
it's a weird thing in me,right that I'm so interested in conflict like
most people would, and I thinkthat they're right, Uh, want to
(04:54):
just kind of keep that energy outof their life. Yeah, you know,
focus on Love's very conflict diverse.Anyway, I guess I'd like to
be more conflict averse. I thinkI hunger for conflicted times and it's a
thing to refer to a earlier topicon the show that me and my therapist
need to spend more time talking out. But I do crave conflict a bit,
(05:15):
and I read all of these,and I just I thought some of
them would be interesting discussion prompts foryou folks, and I think that some
of them are just interesting. Someof this stuff, it's like, I
just I can't believe the many andvaried lives that people out there leave lead,
and I can't believe that they postthem in public in this degree of
(05:36):
detail. I've seen a little bitof this type of thing on Reddit,
and whenever I do stumble upon itand I'm reading about people and what's going
on in their personal lives, I'malways kind of shocked that yes, they're
posting this, and also like they'llpost like questions about their marriage and yeah,
(05:59):
well my wife does what do y'allthink? Do you think that you
know this is valid? Or isshe cheating on me? Or am I
in the wrong here? And it'sall about like your your wife and you
go to Reddit to crowdsource about yourlike personal intimate relationship. It's it's kind
of weirds me out, But atthe same time, I bet this is
(06:19):
a really good outlet for people thatmaybe don't know where to turn or who
to talk to about these types oftopics, and so you go to Reddit
and you can sound off and havea million people exaggerating, but a lot
of people weigh in with their opinionson your life. Yeah, there's a
twelve point four million people on thispart please, So it's a big board.
(06:41):
It's very popular, you know.That's the whole thing about the website
is you do get enough people andit's very interesting. A lot of these
are not from America clearly. Yeah, like it'll like half the time,
it's you know, the kind ofthe big thing is just the difference in
cultural norms. Yeah, like they'llbecause they'll post on stuff and be like,
you know, my parents tell meI have no right to choose who
I am to marry. Do youthink they are the jerker? Am I?
(07:04):
I'm like, wow, I can'tright, did judicate that? Yeah?
Like they're the jerks? But whatare you supposed to do about it?
Yeah? But yeah, so,uh, just to hop in with
a couple of these. Both mydaughters are in high school. My oldest,
Cindy is sixteen and my youngest,Emily is fourteen. Now, Cindy
(07:26):
is quite popular. She's on thevolleyball team. Big ups to Cyndy has
a huge friend group. My youngestisn't very popular, and her friend Beth
is her main friend. It alsodoesn't help that she's into hobbies most other
high schoolers don't care about. Emilyand Beth got into a fight. Beth
is not speaking to Emily anymore.So Emily's sitting alone at lunch. This
came out yesterday and my husband wantsCindy to invite her to sit with her
(07:46):
group of friends at the popular table. Cindy refused, saying she doesn't want
to do that. My husband wasmad, but when he tried to get
me to back them up, Itold him Cindy has every right to not
want her little sister in her friendgroup. You can't do that to hr,
and Emily needs to her own friends. My husband is pissed at me
and Cindy. Emily is super upsetand she doesn't have people to eat with.
And I'm wondering if I made theright call or if I'm being a
(08:07):
jerk. What do you guys think? Wow, So the husband and Cindy,
the popular daughter, are mad atthe mom for even suggesting this.
Well, the husband's the one pushingfor the daughter to be included in the
table. Okay, So the populardaughter's happy with the mom but not thrilled
(08:28):
with the situation, and the husbandis mad at the mom and the popular
daughter and the sad daughter is justhaving a tough time overall. Oh,
you have two kids. You're theonly one in the room with two kids.
That's your only one where this couldpotentially happen. What do you think
you would do if it came toyou. I wouldn't force them to do
that. I wouldn't force the popularone to invite the not popular one to
(08:52):
go sit and eat with them.But I would hope that if I was
parenting the way that I wanted to, that I strive to parents, that
that sibling would do that. Anyways, that's not you know that, that's
not how life works could be.I mean, at this point, I
have an eight year old boy anda five year old girl, and the
(09:13):
boy is like so, I mean, in that dynamic helps because the boy
is almost he's just like instinctively alittle bit protective of her and stuff.
But yeah, he like walks herinto the kindergarten wing and he doesn't need
to go to that particular entrance.He needs to go to the second grade
interest. But he makes sure thatshe gets to school. So I think
right now at least, that theywould do that. Yeah, but they
(09:35):
have rade, uh, yeah theydo. Yeah. Back in my day,
we just had one door on theschool, one big door we can
go. Yeah, it helps forthe little ones like to not have to
walk too far to their class.But but yeah, I don't know.
I feel like, geez, highschool drama and that that Cindy thinks that
(09:58):
she is, like, you know, so cool, way too cool to
invite the little sister to sit withthem, And then what if I did?
And then what if the little sisterembarrassed me? And then what if
I'm not popular anymore? Like there'sa lot there I can see. I
remember being that age, and it'sa hard age. I'm not familiar with
your siblings scene. I have oneolder brother, okay, so that's kind
(10:20):
of like my kids, the boythan the girl. And yeah, I
loved having an older brother because hewas looking out for me. Do you
ever have anything like this pop up, Mike, No, I never have.
It was Jordan pretty uniformly popular throughoutschool, she might tell you.
(10:41):
No, I don't think she alwaysfelt terribly popular, but she always had
friends. I think that's what it'sall about. Yeah, like you just
want to have friends. You don'twant to have no friends at school.
Yeah, you don't have Beth madat you. No, No, Yeah,
I think that obviously you really likefor sinning to have a big heart.
But you know, my wife andher sister good friends now, but
(11:05):
definitely had some of that dynamic ofyou know, my wife was five years
younger. I was at an agethat was an amount of bit younger that
her sister I think felt embarrassed sometimes. Yeah, and so you know it
wasn't like, hey, please comealong and do everything with me. That
certainly wasn't the vibe. And seeyou could see how this stuff comes up.
You know, like she she's atthe popular table now, but she's
(11:28):
worried that she won't be exactly ifshe's got this, life would be over
if she wasn't at the popular table. But I think with two girls like
that, it's sometimes harder. LikeI think if you have two girls,
they don't tend to get along reallywell when they're younger, and then they
get older and they become really goodfriends. From what I understand, All
right, you want to do onemore, Yeah, let's do this one's
(11:50):
a little bit longer. Girl,trying to get through as fast as I
can. This is like, uh, just the life is so rich.
Yeah, like just these people areout here having such deep struggles and I
don't know, man, I justthere's something about like, like it really
it gets at my heart a bit. Hear it's about some of the stuff.
(12:11):
Anyways, I'll tell you the thing. I have a four year old
with my ex. She had twinswith her fiance at the beginning of this
year, but then they broke up. They're almost a year old now.
I'm remarried as well. Ever sinceshe had the twins, my daughters has
become second to her mom. Shebecomes to my house unbathed, dirty clothes,
no bag with her. My exclaims she's stressed about the twins.
I get it, and she's broke. I asked how she broke when I
(12:31):
pay her twelve hundred month in childsupport. She says one of her twins
has medical issues and the other requiresa certain formula. The money goes quickly
with all the groceries. I toldher that's not my concern. Of the
money. She gets as plenty tohave our daughter three weeks out of the
month. I told her to putan X to have her exput on child
support, and she says that heleft the country. I looked him up
and he is indeed traveling through Australia. I asked the X for an extra
(12:54):
week of custody. She agreed.Our custody is a court order, but
I didn't feel the need to actuallygo and modify it. A few months
ago, after an argument when shemiss pick up because supposedly he was too
stressful to put her kids in thecar, she threatened to get my payments
increased since I got a new promotion. I knew she was just saying it
to get me mad, and shewasn't actually gonna do it, but I
was pissed and went ahead and filedfor full custody and got it. Oh
(13:16):
wow, my child support was loweredto six hundred dollars, which is ridiculous,
and she only gets her once aweek now, which is just one.
She only gets her one weekend.Now I'm asking if I'm a butthole
because the pay cut is affecting hertwins' life and she's now in debt with
insurance and prescription prices and claiming thatshe stole our daughter, that I stole
hurt our daughter from her because she'spoor. A lot of people we mutually
(13:37):
know are saying, I'm being apetty butthole. The money wasn't hurting me,
and it was the but it wasthe principle. I'm starting to feel
bad. Note though, am Ithe butthole? One question? Go ahead,
terrified right now? Whose are thetwins? That's another that's another man,
it's the ex and Australia dude.Then I say tough, yeah,
(14:03):
yeah, it's one of those cases. You don't have to take care of
some kids that some guy knocks herup. A lot of these it's kind
of like, do you what doyou want me to say? You're twins
man, you're not required to knowwhat. It's not illegal for you to
not care about these twins. Everythingyou've done is within the law, and
(14:24):
if you want to do it,you can do it. But if you
are a person, it's looking attwo tiny babies that have deep needs and
you know that they have needs,and you know that you can help,
and you decide not to. Like, I'm not going to tell you it's
fine for you to ignore that voice. You should listen to that voice,
like if you if you see peoplein front of you that need help,
(14:45):
you should try and help. Andlike it's hard, you know, like
I drive by people on the streetthat need help all the time and I
don't help them. Okay, I'mall for that, but at some point
people have to take a little bitof responsibility for what they do and where
they are. Yeah, I assumeyou're talking about the mom. Yeah,
yeah, I would love if youtook a hardline stance of those one year
olds to do to pull themselves upby their boot straps. Well, never
(15:07):
too early to start. Yeah,it's just you know, yeah, yeah,
you wish the mom would do better, but like you don't control her,
you know, you just control whatyou do. And what you do
is you used to give her twelvehundred month and now that six hundred's gone.
But like you know, the stuffabout you stole my daughter because I
(15:28):
was poor. Just hearing that sentence, I like curl up inside. That's
an awful thing for a person tohave to go through. But like on
the other hand, if if theif she's leaving the daughter with him like
dirty and you know, like oldclothes, like you got to watch out
for your daughter. That's your firstresponsibility. Yeah, it is. I
just have no idea how to judicatethat. So, Julie, what's your
(15:50):
So, I'm just it's a lot. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry,
it's okay. So the mom endedup with three kids from two different Yeah,
the mom's got full custody of thetimes and then shared custody of the
daughter between the author and her Okay, And so she's trying to take care
of all of them, but she'snot currently with man. Yeah, and
(16:12):
she's herself and she's got Yeah,I mean that's tough. It's just I
guess who each just won't own howyou decide to handle that situation. You
have to make sure that your kid, first of all, is taken care
of, and beyond that, Yeah, if you can help, you should.
(16:33):
But like if she's on the phonecrying to you, like he took
my kids because I was poor,I want another week with her back,
like that's so. Yeah, Wellit's just hard to it's hard to take
kid from their mom mom. Somaybe I haven't doing perspective a bad job,
but if she's doing that bad jobbecause she it's it's very overwhelming.
(16:55):
It's very overwhelming. To have kidsand be married and not like neither of
them are twins, right, Ican't imagine being alone and having twins and
then another kid and then no oneelse to kind of help you raise them
all. I could see where itmight be hard to keep up with the
expenses, and yeah, and Ikeep them all clean. I don't want
to speak for you guys, butlike, I don't. I don't know
(17:18):
anyone like this really, you know, yeah, like that, But but
like I know that there are possiblymillions of people with similar stories out there
in America. Yeah, certainly inthe world. Yes, It's like I
don't. It's just I go throughliving my day to day and I'm just
like, within my bubble of experience, I craft my own idea of a
normal life as being like the onesme and my friends lead. And then
(17:41):
you read about this stuff that pullsyou so totally out of it, and
you think about the number of peoplethat are out there with I know,
three kids and trying to make itoff the twelve hundred travel and like the
guys, you have kids, andyou gotta pay for your house and you
gotta pay for all their stuff,and yeah, you have two working people
in a marriage and you still feellike it's not enough. I mean I
don't feel like it's enough. Yeah. Like the guy being like, I
(18:04):
give you twelve hundred a month,how come you can't pay for everything off
that? Like that, that tome is suggesting that his situation, Like
if he's like, how can younot live off of twelve hundred a month?
Like that? Just because he doesn'twant to give her more? Yeah,
yeah, well he doesn't want togive him more, but like also
speaks to like, is probably alevel of poverty that he's experiencing, right
if he thinks a twelve hundred isa lot of money. I mean it's
(18:26):
a lot of money to me,But I don't know. There's a lot
of folks out there where twelve hundreda month is it's not close to what
you need to live on. Butif you're trying to keep that money to
yourself and not give her more thanyou could shift your perspective and say,
well, of course you can liveon that, because you know that if
you say otherwise, that means you'regiving her more, which means you have
less. Yeah, so you say, oh, I don't understand why she
(18:48):
can't live on that? Just becauseyou're looking at for number one. Yeah,
I don't know. I just Iread through the thing and it Yeah,
I don't know. Is an interestingthing to confront is you make better
decisions, you won't have these problemsin your life. I'm trying, man.
I'm not talking to you, butI just love talking to anybody here.
(19:08):
I'm talking to them. I'm trying, man. I just have such
a love person. You're doing fine. Keep doing what you're doing, Playboy.
Yeah, yeah, you keep doingthat. All right. Well that
was fun TC. Thank you forbringing the am I a whole discussion from
Reddit to our show. Very muchenjoyed it. Coming up next here on
(19:33):
the Speakeasy, we're going to talkabout some people who aren't really struggling to
pay their bills. It's Hollywood's swinging. We have the most streamed artist of
twenty twenty three, some baby newsfrom Paris Hilton, and the craziest spider
story that you've ever heard.
TC. This is big James.I live in Arlington, down the road
from the stadium. You welcome toparking my house. Bud sitting here driving
around and I just heard the greatestsegment ever. Mike Reiner has never heard
of future Mike, and you geta chance, go check out Futures Catalog.
He will definitely help your dating advicebecause he is the greatest dating coach
(00:20):
known to me. And well,for right now, it's to speak easy
on ninety seven one the freak?Do I see you nodding in agreement with
that. I think every should checkout Futures Catalog, absolutely, but you
(00:42):
arm ambivalum about him as dating coach. For me, I think that we
can all learn a little bit fromhim, you think definitely? Okay.
I'd like to see you adopt acouple of Futures dating principles in your life
and see how it goes. Wouldyou care to those out there right now
and let me see if I canembrace them. I'm not prepared for that,
(01:08):
Okay. Well, I hope you'reprepared for ranks at today at four
thirty five, because we're gonna beranking Christmas songs. Yes, I can't
wait for this it's gonna be verycontroversial. I will tell you very controversial.
Okay, yeah, I bet there'sno Mariah carry on there. Well,
(01:32):
you'll just have to wait. Youmight be surprised. And then at
five oh five, Mark Stein,the guy who broke all this and should
be credited for SAE. I knowhe wants to be credited for SAE,
and we're certainly going to do that. He will be with us and we'll
(01:56):
talk to him a little bit moreabout it. All right now, though,
it's time for us to think aboutand ponder just what we have to
give. All we have to giveis what's in our bucket. Thank you
so much. Yes, it's TC'sbucket of crap. I appreciate it.
(02:22):
I have a nightly routine i'd liketo share with you every night. Before
I tuck into my bunk, Ilog onto reddit dot com, go into
the subreddit. I can't say thename of it on the air. It's
am I the Butthole. Okay,guys are probably familiar with it. It's
pretty popular bit of the internet.You ever heard about this, Mike,
(02:45):
I don't know a whole lot aboutReddit. That's probably for the best.
I want to though, because Ialways hear about wild stuff that's out there
on Reddit. Yeah, there's alot going on out there, but I
don't even realize, And I thinkI need a Reddit coach. My Reddit
(03:07):
coaching would be just stay away.You don't he don't want to get Yeah
I do. He has Reddit coach. If you did, you you would
look back on that year's long projectand say, you know what, I
could spend my time better elsewhere.It's okay, but I want to find
that out for myself. You cando that, but you know, like
(03:28):
a lot of lessons in life,you would be better off just taking someone
else's word for it. But Iunderstand that's that's how also how I operate.
I never take people's word for it. Or should I do? Shoopy?
Well, I think the previous incarnationof the Downbeat set up a Reddit
account for you, like in oneof our first shows. Yeah, I
(03:49):
have no idea what the username oranything like that would be, so pretty
much be starting from scratch. ButI know you were on there for at
least a day or two, andthen I think you just and gave up.
See I agree with that Mic,That Mic is right. It's it's
a big site. So you doget all kinds. I think that it's
(04:10):
it tends to track. Like,you know, you can imagine people who
spend a large chunk of their lifereading commenting on a user generated website.
You're imagining a certain kind of person. And I'm here to let you know.
I think you're right. But youknow, it's big enough that like
everyone along and everyone's heard of it, you know whatever. And so the
(04:32):
part of it that I'm interested in, and we'll check every night before bed,
is uh, just people submitting conflictsand asking who's wrong. And yeah,
I don't know if it's a greatway to spend my time. Like
it's a weird thing in me,right that I'm so interested in conflict like
most people would, and I thinkthat they're right, Uh, want to
(04:54):
just kind of keep that energy outof their life. Yeah, you know,
focus on Love's very conflict diverse.Anyway, I guess I'd like to
be more conflict averse. I thinkI hunger for conflicted times and it's a
thing to refer to a earlier topicon the show that me and my therapist
need to spend more time talking out. But I do crave conflict a bit,
(05:15):
and I read all of these,and I just I thought some of
them would be interesting discussion prompts foryou folks, and I think that some
of them are just interesting. Someof this stuff, it's like, I
just I can't believe the many andvaried lives that people out there leave lead,
and I can't believe that they postthem in public in this degree of
(05:36):
detail. I've seen a little bitof this type of thing on Reddit,
and whenever I do stumble upon itand I'm reading about people and what's going
on in their personal lives, I'malways kind of shocked that yes, they're
posting this, and also like they'llpost like questions about their marriage and yeah,
(05:59):
well my wife does what do y'allthink? Do you think that you
know this is valid? Or isshe cheating on me? Or am I
in the wrong here? And it'sall about like your your wife and you
go to Reddit to crowdsource about yourlike personal intimate relationship. It's it's kind
of weirds me out, But atthe same time, I bet this is
(06:19):
a really good outlet for people thatmaybe don't know where to turn or who
to talk to about these types oftopics, and so you go to Reddit
and you can sound off and havea million people exaggerating, but a lot
of people weigh in with their opinionson your life. Yeah, there's a
twelve point four million people on thispart please, So it's a big board.
(06:41):
It's very popular, you know.That's the whole thing about the website
is you do get enough people andit's very interesting. A lot of these
are not from America clearly. Yeah, like it'll like half the time,
it's you know, the kind ofthe big thing is just the difference in
cultural norms. Yeah, like they'llbecause they'll post on stuff and be like,
you know, my parents tell meI have no right to choose who
I am to marry. Do youthink they are the jerker? Am I?
(07:04):
I'm like, wow, I can'tright, did judicate that? Yeah?
Like they're the jerks? But whatare you supposed to do about it?
Yeah? But yeah, so,uh, just to hop in with
a couple of these. Both mydaughters are in high school. My oldest,
Cindy is sixteen and my youngest,Emily is fourteen. Now, Cindy
(07:26):
is quite popular. She's on thevolleyball team. Big ups to Cyndy has
a huge friend group. My youngestisn't very popular, and her friend Beth
is her main friend. It alsodoesn't help that she's into hobbies most other
high schoolers don't care about. Emilyand Beth got into a fight. Beth
is not speaking to Emily anymore.So Emily's sitting alone at lunch. This
came out yesterday and my husband wantsCindy to invite her to sit with her
(07:46):
group of friends at the popular table. Cindy refused, saying she doesn't want
to do that. My husband wasmad, but when he tried to get
me to back them up, Itold him Cindy has every right to not
want her little sister in her friendgroup. You can't do that to hr,
and Emily needs to her own friends. My husband is pissed at me
and Cindy. Emily is super upsetand she doesn't have people to eat with.
And I'm wondering if I made theright call or if I'm being a
(08:07):
jerk. What do you guys think? Wow, So the husband and Cindy,
the popular daughter, are mad atthe mom for even suggesting this.
Well, the husband's the one pushingfor the daughter to be included in the
table. Okay, So the populardaughter's happy with the mom but not thrilled
(08:28):
with the situation, and the husbandis mad at the mom and the popular
daughter and the sad daughter is justhaving a tough time overall. Oh,
you have two kids. You're theonly one in the room with two kids.
That's your only one where this couldpotentially happen. What do you think
you would do if it came toyou. I wouldn't force them to do
that. I wouldn't force the popularone to invite the not popular one to
(08:52):
go sit and eat with them.But I would hope that if I was
parenting the way that I wanted to, that I strive to parents, that
that sibling would do that. Anyways, that's not you know that, that's
not how life works could be.I mean, at this point, I
have an eight year old boy anda five year old girl, and the
(09:13):
boy is like so, I mean, in that dynamic helps because the boy
is almost he's just like instinctively alittle bit protective of her and stuff.
But yeah, he like walks herinto the kindergarten wing and he doesn't need
to go to that particular entrance.He needs to go to the second grade
interest. But he makes sure thatshe gets to school. So I think
right now at least, that theywould do that. Yeah, but they
(09:35):
have rade, uh, yeah theydo. Yeah. Back in my day,
we just had one door on theschool, one big door we can
go. Yeah, it helps forthe little ones like to not have to
walk too far to their class.But but yeah, I don't know.
I feel like, geez, highschool drama and that that Cindy thinks that
(09:58):
she is, like, you know, so cool, way too cool to
invite the little sister to sit withthem, And then what if I did?
And then what if the little sisterembarrassed me? And then what if
I'm not popular anymore? Like there'sa lot there I can see. I
remember being that age, and it'sa hard age. I'm not familiar with
your siblings scene. I have oneolder brother, okay, so that's kind
(10:20):
of like my kids, the boythan the girl. And yeah, I
loved having an older brother because hewas looking out for me. Do you
ever have anything like this pop up, Mike, No, I never have.
It was Jordan pretty uniformly popular throughoutschool, she might tell you.
(10:41):
No, I don't think she alwaysfelt terribly popular, but she always had
friends. I think that's what it'sall about. Yeah, like you just
want to have friends. You don'twant to have no friends at school.
Yeah, you don't have Beth madat you. No, No, Yeah,
I think that obviously you really likefor sinning to have a big heart.
But you know, my wife andher sister good friends now, but
(11:05):
definitely had some of that dynamic ofyou know, my wife was five years
younger. I was at an agethat was an amount of bit younger that
her sister I think felt embarrassed sometimes. Yeah, and so you know it
wasn't like, hey, please comealong and do everything with me. That
certainly wasn't the vibe. And seeyou could see how this stuff comes up.
You know, like she she's atthe popular table now, but she's
(11:28):
worried that she won't be exactly ifshe's got this, life would be over
if she wasn't at the popular table. But I think with two girls like
that, it's sometimes harder. LikeI think if you have two girls,
they don't tend to get along reallywell when they're younger, and then they
get older and they become really goodfriends. From what I understand, All
right, you want to do onemore, Yeah, let's do this one's
(11:50):
a little bit longer. Girl,trying to get through as fast as I
can. This is like, uh, just the life is so rich.
Yeah, like just these people areout here having such deep struggles and I
don't know, man, I justthere's something about like, like it really
it gets at my heart a bit. Hear it's about some of the stuff.
(12:11):
Anyways, I'll tell you the thing. I have a four year old
with my ex. She had twinswith her fiance at the beginning of this
year, but then they broke up. They're almost a year old now.
I'm remarried as well. Ever sinceshe had the twins, my daughters has
become second to her mom. Shebecomes to my house unbathed, dirty clothes,
no bag with her. My exclaims she's stressed about the twins.
I get it, and she's broke. I asked how she broke when I
(12:31):
pay her twelve hundred month in childsupport. She says one of her twins
has medical issues and the other requiresa certain formula. The money goes quickly
with all the groceries. I toldher that's not my concern. Of the
money. She gets as plenty tohave our daughter three weeks out of the
month. I told her to putan X to have her exput on child
support, and she says that heleft the country. I looked him up
and he is indeed traveling through Australia. I asked the X for an extra
(12:54):
week of custody. She agreed.Our custody is a court order, but
I didn't feel the need to actuallygo and modify it. A few months
ago, after an argument when shemiss pick up because supposedly he was too
stressful to put her kids in thecar, she threatened to get my payments
increased since I got a new promotion. I knew she was just saying it
to get me mad, and shewasn't actually gonna do it, but I
was pissed and went ahead and filedfor full custody and got it. Oh
(13:16):
wow, my child support was loweredto six hundred dollars, which is ridiculous,
and she only gets her once aweek now, which is just one.
She only gets her one weekend.Now I'm asking if I'm a butthole
because the pay cut is affecting hertwins' life and she's now in debt with
insurance and prescription prices and claiming thatshe stole our daughter, that I stole
hurt our daughter from her because she'spoor. A lot of people we mutually
(13:37):
know are saying, I'm being apetty butthole. The money wasn't hurting me,
and it was the but it wasthe principle. I'm starting to feel
bad. Note though, am Ithe butthole? One question? Go ahead,
terrified right now? Whose are thetwins? That's another that's another man,
it's the ex and Australia dude.Then I say tough, yeah,
(14:03):
yeah, it's one of those cases. You don't have to take care of
some kids that some guy knocks herup. A lot of these it's kind
of like, do you what doyou want me to say? You're twins
man, you're not required to knowwhat. It's not illegal for you to
not care about these twins. Everythingyou've done is within the law, and
(14:24):
if you want to do it,you can do it. But if you
are a person, it's looking attwo tiny babies that have deep needs and
you know that they have needs,and you know that you can help,
and you decide not to. Like, I'm not going to tell you it's
fine for you to ignore that voice. You should listen to that voice,
like if you if you see peoplein front of you that need help,
(14:45):
you should try and help. Andlike it's hard, you know, like
I drive by people on the streetthat need help all the time and I
don't help them. Okay, I'mall for that, but at some point
people have to take a little bitof responsibility for what they do and where
they are. Yeah, I assumeyou're talking about the mom. Yeah,
yeah, I would love if youtook a hardline stance of those one year
olds to do to pull themselves upby their boot straps. Well, never
(15:07):
too early to start. Yeah,it's just you know, yeah, yeah,
you wish the mom would do better, but like you don't control her,
you know, you just control whatyou do. And what you do
is you used to give her twelvehundred month and now that six hundred's gone.
But like you know, the stuffabout you stole my daughter because I
(15:28):
was poor. Just hearing that sentence, I like curl up inside. That's
an awful thing for a person tohave to go through. But like on
the other hand, if if theif she's leaving the daughter with him like
dirty and you know, like oldclothes, like you got to watch out
for your daughter. That's your firstresponsibility. Yeah, it is. I
just have no idea how to judicatethat. So, Julie, what's your
(15:50):
So, I'm just it's a lot. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry,
it's okay. So the mom endedup with three kids from two different Yeah,
the mom's got full custody of thetimes and then shared custody of the
daughter between the author and her Okay, And so she's trying to take care
of all of them, but she'snot currently with man. Yeah, and
(16:12):
she's herself and she's got Yeah,I mean that's tough. It's just I
guess who each just won't own howyou decide to handle that situation. You
have to make sure that your kid, first of all, is taken care
of, and beyond that, Yeah, if you can help, you should.
(16:33):
But like if she's on the phonecrying to you, like he took
my kids because I was poor,I want another week with her back,
like that's so. Yeah, Wellit's just hard to it's hard to take
kid from their mom mom. Somaybe I haven't doing perspective a bad job,
but if she's doing that bad jobbecause she it's it's very overwhelming.
(16:55):
It's very overwhelming. To have kidsand be married and not like neither of
them are twins, right, Ican't imagine being alone and having twins and
then another kid and then no oneelse to kind of help you raise them
all. I could see where itmight be hard to keep up with the
expenses, and yeah, and Ikeep them all clean. I don't want
to speak for you guys, butlike, I don't. I don't know
(17:18):
anyone like this really, you know, yeah, like that, But but
like I know that there are possiblymillions of people with similar stories out there
in America. Yeah, certainly inthe world. Yes, It's like I
don't. It's just I go throughliving my day to day and I'm just
like, within my bubble of experience, I craft my own idea of a
normal life as being like the onesme and my friends lead. And then
(17:41):
you read about this stuff that pullsyou so totally out of it, and
you think about the number of peoplethat are out there with I know,
three kids and trying to make itoff the twelve hundred travel and like the
guys, you have kids, andyou gotta pay for your house and you
gotta pay for all their stuff,and yeah, you have two working people
in a marriage and you still feellike it's not enough. I mean I
don't feel like it's enough. Yeah. Like the guy being like, I
(18:04):
give you twelve hundred a month,how come you can't pay for everything off
that? Like that, that tome is suggesting that his situation, Like
if he's like, how can younot live off of twelve hundred a month?
Like that? Just because he doesn'twant to give her more? Yeah,
yeah, well he doesn't want togive him more, but like also
speaks to like, is probably alevel of poverty that he's experiencing, right
if he thinks a twelve hundred isa lot of money. I mean it's
(18:26):
a lot of money to me,But I don't know. There's a lot
of folks out there where twelve hundreda month is it's not close to what
you need to live on. Butif you're trying to keep that money to
yourself and not give her more thanyou could shift your perspective and say,
well, of course you can liveon that, because you know that if
you say otherwise, that means you'regiving her more, which means you have
less. Yeah, so you say, oh, I don't understand why she
(18:48):
can't live on that? Just becauseyou're looking at for number one. Yeah,
I don't know. I just Iread through the thing and it Yeah,
I don't know. Is an interestingthing to confront is you make better
decisions, you won't have these problemsin your life. I'm trying, man.
I'm not talking to you, butI just love talking to anybody here.
(19:08):
I'm talking to them. I'm trying, man. I just have such
a love person. You're doing fine. Keep doing what you're doing, Playboy.
Yeah, yeah, you keep doingthat. All right. Well that
was fun TC. Thank you forbringing the am I a whole discussion from
Reddit to our show. Very muchenjoyed it. Coming up next here on
(19:33):
the Speakeasy, we're going to talkabout some people who aren't really struggling to
pay their bills. It's Hollywood's swinging. We have the most streamed artist of
twenty twenty three, some baby newsfrom Paris Hilton, and the craziest spider
story that you've ever heard.
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