Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Just one seven one, It's time to make a date
or break on Tip in the morning. Hi, I want
to welcome everyone from our Instagram live that's come over
to the on air side of things. Good morning, make
a date or break It's we're relationships and therapy kind
of intersect on my show Tuesday Mornings with Lori Sharpage,
who's our licensed clinical counselor Hello, and nothing has ever
(00:24):
been too out of pocket for you as far as
questions more out of the pocket the butt, I love it,
and nothing has ever thrown you off. So you're more
than welcome to hit us up five when three seven
four nine one o seven one to get on the
air while we filter in through calls, We're going to
talk about the nine red flags in a relationship that
involve your cell phone. The one that we talked about
(00:47):
on IG Live quickly was what what's What's?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
The first one was turning yourself away or turning your
body or phone away when using it. So all of
a sudden, somebody is in a normal stance and then
they're they're hugging their phone, they're moved.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
That's that's always an interesting one.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I'm a big vibes personally, I feel like I base
the majority of my life off of what the vibe
is of the situation, and to me, that means that
the vibes are off.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I agree, there's something going on. You don't just change
your nonverbal communication like that for no reason.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
How do we want to do this? There are nine?
That was one of them? Do you want to run through?
Maybe the top one that gets use the most in
your office? Where do you want to start take us
on this journey?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Absolutely so, I think that the top one is the password.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Do we share passwords?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship,
it is easier. It is going to make your life
easier if you can have access to each other's phones.
And this comes down from like logistical and structural things
like what you do in emergency, things like that. But
I think that it creates a sense of trust and comfort.
I don't think you need to be looking at the
(01:50):
phone every day or digging into it. But I do
think sharing passwords, if you feel comfortable to do so,
is a good one to do in general. And then
if all of a sudden the password changes, well that's
one of the red flags. If you've had access to
the phone before, and now all of a sudden the
passwords changed.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I would be really curious about that.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I do want to go off on a tangent about passwords.
I think I'm gonna save that to the end because
we've talked about this on my show before, and there
is going to be someone that calls right now that says,
absolutely not, I never share my password. Let's hold off
on that. We'll get to that one. What else is
on this list?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I think that being inconsistent about allowing the person to
touch the phone. So like if I grab your phone
today and then tomorrow when I pick it up, you're
all of a sudden very angry, which can be another
one of the red flags, kind of lashing out. I
would be very curious about that. What changed? Where's the
shift here? The other one is the defensiveness. If someone
(02:47):
is very defensive about their phone and very overly anxious
or angry about even talking about it.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I would be concerned about that.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So far, that's three or four flags out of nine.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I think that is three and a half three to
a three point five.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The one that's on this list that I don't necessarily
agree with, but again, I'm.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
A big vibeesy gal.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
If you always lock your phone and put it face down,
lock your phone, put it face down. I typically lock
my phone and put it face down, but it's almost
because I don't like getting annoyed by notifications and distractions.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So I'm so glad you called that one out because
I do agree that, like, there is a level of
like self care associated with being able to turn off
your phone and turn it over and not be distracted
by it. And I don't necessarily see that as so
much of a red flag. Maybe if it's a new behavior,
more of like a yellow flag, But I do agree
that a lot of people take care of themselves that way,
So we don't need to be calling that anything other
(03:43):
than that.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Okay, maybe one or two more. I think we're at four.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
If there's certain apps that are always getting closed as
soon as you get close, yeah, that is another big one,
because what's the app, what's going on?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
What are we closing?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Oftentimes, if we're closing or shit uting things down like that,
it speaks to we have some level of shame or
apprehension about seeing with it, and it might be totally innocuous.
You know, some people have weird, weird things in their
phone that they don't want to share, but also.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Talk.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
But this could be something that like if you're noticing
that there's always this like shut down kind of performance
of the app, there could be something going on there.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
We're talking about the nine cell phone red flags in
a relationship.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
We've gotten to about four.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Let me take a break here before we lose people.
There has to be some level of accepted privacy in
a relationship. How are you telling your clients? I'm like,
how do you navigate that?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
So I think just because you have the password does
not need that you need to be or should be
deep diving into the phone. So I think that's the key,
is like part of the trust with the password is
like I have it and I'm not going to use
that in a way that is inappropriate. I think it
is natural and normal for couples, even in lowe long
term committed relationships, to have boundaries around their phone and
(05:04):
their communications. And so part of the trust is you
to have the password, but you don't need to go
snooping because you do.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, there's a line. Yeah, And I don't think there
is a black and white answer. Like most things, in life.
You know, you've got to just trust Again, what do
I always say, I'm a vibeesy gal. You gotta trust
the vibes. Yeah, you know, if you give out the password,
do you trust that? You know, are you just getting
in it to play music in the car and like
you know, change Google Maps or something, or are you
(05:32):
going through their dms? And that almost falls back on
you if you if you're going through your partner's phone
like that, that's you MEAs you need to address something.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
If your partner trusts you enough to give you your password,
then they also trust you enough to know where the
boundaries are. And if you are not sure where those are,
then it is time for a conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's your favorite. Okay, let's take a break. I'm going
to open up my phone line. Not that the thing
ever closes. So that's just what radio people say. Five
one three, seven, four nine one one. If you have
a question or you want to weigh in on this
in the in term, we're gonna get to the number
one cell phone red flag on this list in a relationship. Next,
Good Morning, You're waking up with Tip in the morning
(06:13):
on Kiss one O seven one, We're in the midst
of make a date or break it's your relationships in
therapy come together on my show with the Lori sharp Page,
who's our licensed clinical counselor. We're talking about the nine
cell phone red flags in a relationship. It's time that
we touch upon the number one red flag according to
(06:33):
your office. You're this article, You've come across the questions
that come up for you and what is that that is?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Do we share passwords?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Okay, listen. You know my friend Allison texted me this
morning and said, I think this list of phone red
flags will be creating a lot of mistrust where there
might not have been.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Just a balance.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Its valid, it's valid, and I don't want to make
you scared about your relationships, absolutely not. I just want
to empower you to make sure that you're living the
best one you can. But the password one is usually
a hard yes or a hard no. And I think
there is validation tobolve.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I think you got to know where you stand on
the issue and then understand your unique kind of relationship dynamic.
Like I said, I think that there's a space for
emergencies what do we do to handle it? But there's
also a space for people to say, this is just
my space and I am not interested in giving you
the password and I don't want to share. And that
doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything going on. That's just
(07:31):
their boundary and learning to accept that maybe part of
the relationship.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Dude, that's a hard one though, And I can only
speak to past relationships I've been in and our password
sharing was very fluid because there was that level of trust.
It does not to say that you don't have that
level of trust. That just means that your privacy boundary
is a little bit stronger than maybe mine would be,
or something that I cared about. Are you saying it
(07:57):
falls back on it falls back on you internal life?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, I mean if your partner says I do not
want to share my password with you, that's how I feel,
that is what I want to do, then yeah, it
goes back to you to say can you accept that
or can you not? And there are going to be
things in our relationship that we adjust based off of
the other person, and it may be something that you
feel like you can accept.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I've only been in a relationship where I have shared
the password, and I'll say this, I can't imagine being
in one where we don't.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, I mean, I'm of the same kind of mindset
because again, there's a level of ease to it. But
I also think that there's a lot of reasons why
people may not want to share that.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
What are they well, what business is a big one.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I mean, I think if you use your phone primarily
for business stuff, there may be reasons not having a
level of trust, you know, needing to build that. Some
people just don't have that right away, so it may
be that we need to revisit the conversation later, Okay.
And then the other thing is phone's a part of
your personal space. So we think about the personal space
bubble that exists around us, but it extends to our things.
(09:01):
And so some people, because of history, trauma, environment, whatever
may be, are just really anxious about other people having
access to their personal space, of which their phone is
part of it.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I'm not going to reiterate my stance however, five win
three seven four nine one oh seven one. Do you
share your password or not? Lori Sharpage is our licensed
clinical counselor. I will ask, because I do every time
we do this. If someone doesn't share their password, would
you make your next date with them, or would you
break it off?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Me personally, I would break it off because I think
that it becomes a big pain in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's my opinion.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Good morning. You're waking up with TIF in the morning
on Kiss one oh seven one. Before we wrap up
this conversation and head into the three things you need
to know to get your day started in Sincy, I
wanted to make sure you had a chance to get
on the air for make a date or break this Tuesday?
Do you share the password with your significant other yourself
on password? Hi, you're on the air. Good morning, So.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I do you share the password to my phone? And
my partner does the same. But because of the field
that we're both in, there are certain apps we're not
allowed to go in because I work in the healthcare
field and he works with students, So there's certain applications
like we're not allowed to go into on each other's phone.
But when it comes to like general text, messaging, Facebook,
social media, whatever, like we have full access.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Just curious, was that a conversation that you guys had
with one another or was it just assumed here's a
password to my phone. Don't think twice about it.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I think it was just kind of assumed.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I think because we're both very open with one another,
we we're really from the mindset.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Like we have nothing to hide, and like if.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
You feel guilty about sharing your passwords, like I understand
completely about it being your personal face, but if you
feel guilty about it, maybe that's you projecting that you
have something to.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Look at that look at us this morning. What's your name,
by the way, what neighborhood A waking up with this in?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
I am Heather and I'm from share A Tholf.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Heather, thank you so much for the call. I appreciate you,
Lori Sharpage. There's someone listening though right now that's like, yeah,
I'm just not going to share the password to my phone,
but my significant other keeps asking for it. Just talk
to that person right now about how they should tell
their partner Listen. I don't want to give it to you.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I think the most important thing is just to stand
by whatever you are feeling. So I feel anxious about
giving this out. I just feel uncomfortable about it. I
feel whatever the feeling is, and I would lead with
that there's not really a wrong in this situation. But
I would say I would do some internal reflection and
try and understand a little bit what makes you so
(11:38):
uncomfortable so that you can lead that conversation effectively.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
All Right, Coping Queen on Instagram, you can hit her direct.
We do this every Tuesday, and we're about We're here
coming up next, I have the three things you need
to know to get your day started in this sunny
Cincinnati day, and we're gonna talk about We're going to
talk about the public opinion and the community's opinion on
Kendrick Lamar being the Super Bowl halftime performer, because there
(12:05):
has been some chatter online.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
We'll get to that next
Just one seven one, It's time to make a date
or break on Tip in the morning. Hi, I want
to welcome everyone from our Instagram live that's come over
to the on air side of things. Good morning, make
a date or break It's we're relationships and therapy kind
of intersect on my show Tuesday Mornings with Lori Sharpage,
who's our licensed clinical counselor Hello, and nothing has ever
(00:24):
been too out of pocket for you as far as
questions more out of the pocket the butt, I love it,
and nothing has ever thrown you off. So you're more
than welcome to hit us up five when three seven
four nine one o seven one to get on the
air while we filter in through calls, We're going to
talk about the nine red flags in a relationship that
involve your cell phone. The one that we talked about
(00:47):
on IG Live quickly was what what's What's?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
The first one was turning yourself away or turning your
body or phone away when using it. So all of
a sudden, somebody is in a normal stance and then
they're they're hugging their phone, they're moved.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
That's that's always an interesting one.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I'm a big vibes personally, I feel like I base
the majority of my life off of what the vibe
is of the situation, and to me, that means that
the vibes are off.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I agree, there's something going on. You don't just change
your nonverbal communication like that for no reason.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
How do we want to do this? There are nine?
That was one of them? Do you want to run through?
Maybe the top one that gets use the most in
your office? Where do you want to start take us
on this journey?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Absolutely so, I think that the top one is the password.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Do we share passwords?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
And in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship,
it is easier. It is going to make your life
easier if you can have access to each other's phones.
And this comes down from like logistical and structural things
like what you do in emergency, things like that. But
I think that it creates a sense of trust and comfort.
I don't think you need to be looking at the
(01:50):
phone every day or digging into it. But I do
think sharing passwords, if you feel comfortable to do so,
is a good one to do in general. And then
if all of a sudden the password changes, well that's
one of the red flags. If you've had access to
the phone before, and now all of a sudden the
passwords changed.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I would be really curious about that.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I do want to go off on a tangent about passwords.
I think I'm gonna save that to the end because
we've talked about this on my show before, and there
is going to be someone that calls right now that says,
absolutely not, I never share my password. Let's hold off
on that. We'll get to that one. What else is
on this list?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I think that being inconsistent about allowing the person to
touch the phone. So like if I grab your phone
today and then tomorrow when I pick it up, you're
all of a sudden very angry, which can be another
one of the red flags, kind of lashing out. I
would be very curious about that. What changed? Where's the
shift here? The other one is the defensiveness. If someone
(02:47):
is very defensive about their phone and very overly anxious
or angry about even talking about it.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I would be concerned about that.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
So far, that's three or four flags out of nine.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I think that is three and a half three to
a three point five.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
The one that's on this list that I don't necessarily
agree with, but again, I'm.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
A big vibeesy gal.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
If you always lock your phone and put it face down,
lock your phone, put it face down. I typically lock
my phone and put it face down, but it's almost
because I don't like getting annoyed by notifications and distractions.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
So I'm so glad you called that one out because
I do agree that, like, there is a level of
like self care associated with being able to turn off
your phone and turn it over and not be distracted
by it. And I don't necessarily see that as so
much of a red flag. Maybe if it's a new behavior,
more of like a yellow flag, But I do agree
that a lot of people take care of themselves that way,
So we don't need to be calling that anything other
(03:43):
than that.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Okay, maybe one or two more. I think we're at four.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
If there's certain apps that are always getting closed as
soon as you get close, yeah, that is another big one,
because what's the app, what's going on?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
What are we closing?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Oftentimes, if we're closing or shit uting things down like that,
it speaks to we have some level of shame or
apprehension about seeing with it, and it might be totally innocuous.
You know, some people have weird, weird things in their
phone that they don't want to share, but also.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Talk.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
But this could be something that like if you're noticing
that there's always this like shut down kind of performance
of the app, there could be something going on there.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
We're talking about the nine cell phone red flags in
a relationship.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
We've gotten to about four.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Let me take a break here before we lose people.
There has to be some level of accepted privacy in
a relationship. How are you telling your clients? I'm like,
how do you navigate that?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
So I think just because you have the password does
not need that you need to be or should be
deep diving into the phone. So I think that's the key,
is like part of the trust with the password is
like I have it and I'm not going to use
that in a way that is inappropriate. I think it
is natural and normal for couples, even in lowe long
term committed relationships, to have boundaries around their phone and
(05:04):
their communications. And so part of the trust is you
to have the password, but you don't need to go
snooping because you do.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Yeah, there's a line. Yeah, And I don't think there
is a black and white answer. Like most things, in life.
You know, you've got to just trust Again, what do
I always say, I'm a vibeesy gal. You gotta trust
the vibes. Yeah, you know, if you give out the password,
do you trust that? You know, are you just getting
in it to play music in the car and like
you know, change Google Maps or something, or are you
(05:32):
going through their dms? And that almost falls back on
you if you if you're going through your partner's phone
like that, that's you MEAs you need to address something.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
If your partner trusts you enough to give you your password,
then they also trust you enough to know where the
boundaries are. And if you are not sure where those are,
then it is time for a conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
That's your favorite. Okay, let's take a break. I'm going
to open up my phone line. Not that the thing
ever closes. So that's just what radio people say. Five
one three, seven, four nine one one. If you have
a question or you want to weigh in on this
in the in term, we're gonna get to the number
one cell phone red flag on this list in a relationship. Next,
Good Morning, You're waking up with Tip in the morning
(06:13):
on Kiss one O seven one, We're in the midst
of make a date or break it's your relationships in
therapy come together on my show with the Lori sharp Page,
who's our licensed clinical counselor. We're talking about the nine
cell phone red flags in a relationship. It's time that
we touch upon the number one red flag according to
(06:33):
your office. You're this article, You've come across the questions
that come up for you and what is that that is?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Do we share passwords?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Okay, listen. You know my friend Allison texted me this
morning and said, I think this list of phone red
flags will be creating a lot of mistrust where there
might not have been.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Just a balance.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Its valid, it's valid, and I don't want to make
you scared about your relationships, absolutely not. I just want
to empower you to make sure that you're living the
best one you can. But the password one is usually
a hard yes or a hard no. And I think
there is validation tobolve.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I think you got to know where you stand on
the issue and then understand your unique kind of relationship dynamic.
Like I said, I think that there's a space for
emergencies what do we do to handle it? But there's
also a space for people to say, this is just
my space and I am not interested in giving you
the password and I don't want to share. And that
doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything going on. That's just
(07:31):
their boundary and learning to accept that maybe part of
the relationship.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Dude, that's a hard one though, And I can only
speak to past relationships I've been in and our password
sharing was very fluid because there was that level of trust.
It does not to say that you don't have that
level of trust. That just means that your privacy boundary
is a little bit stronger than maybe mine would be,
or something that I cared about. Are you saying it
(07:57):
falls back on it falls back on you internal life?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Well, I mean if your partner says I do not
want to share my password with you, that's how I feel,
that is what I want to do, then yeah, it
goes back to you to say can you accept that
or can you not? And there are going to be
things in our relationship that we adjust based off of
the other person, and it may be something that you
feel like you can accept.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I've only been in a relationship where I have shared
the password, and I'll say this, I can't imagine being
in one where we don't.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Yeah, I mean, I'm of the same kind of mindset
because again, there's a level of ease to it. But
I also think that there's a lot of reasons why
people may not want to share that.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
What are they well, what business is a big one.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I mean, I think if you use your phone primarily
for business stuff, there may be reasons not having a
level of trust, you know, needing to build that. Some
people just don't have that right away, so it may
be that we need to revisit the conversation later, Okay.
And then the other thing is phone's a part of
your personal space. So we think about the personal space
bubble that exists around us, but it extends to our things.
(09:01):
And so some people, because of history, trauma, environment, whatever
may be, are just really anxious about other people having
access to their personal space, of which their phone is
part of it.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I'm not going to reiterate my stance however, five win
three seven four nine one oh seven one. Do you
share your password or not? Lori Sharpage is our licensed
clinical counselor. I will ask, because I do every time
we do this. If someone doesn't share their password, would
you make your next date with them, or would you
break it off?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Me personally, I would break it off because I think
that it becomes a big pain in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's my opinion.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Good morning. You're waking up with TIF in the morning
on Kiss one oh seven one. Before we wrap up
this conversation and head into the three things you need
to know to get your day started in Sincy, I
wanted to make sure you had a chance to get
on the air for make a date or break this Tuesday?
Do you share the password with your significant other yourself
on password? Hi, you're on the air. Good morning, So.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I do you share the password to my phone? And
my partner does the same. But because of the field
that we're both in, there are certain apps we're not
allowed to go in because I work in the healthcare
field and he works with students, So there's certain applications
like we're not allowed to go into on each other's phone.
But when it comes to like general text, messaging, Facebook,
social media, whatever, like we have full access.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Just curious, was that a conversation that you guys had
with one another or was it just assumed here's a
password to my phone. Don't think twice about it.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
I think it was just kind of assumed.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
I think because we're both very open with one another,
we we're really from the mindset.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Like we have nothing to hide, and like if.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
You feel guilty about sharing your passwords, like I understand
completely about it being your personal face, but if you
feel guilty about it, maybe that's you projecting that you
have something to.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Look at that look at us this morning. What's your name,
by the way, what neighborhood A waking up with this in?
Speaker 4 (10:57):
I am Heather and I'm from share A Tholf.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Heather, thank you so much for the call. I appreciate you,
Lori Sharpage. There's someone listening though right now that's like, yeah,
I'm just not going to share the password to my phone,
but my significant other keeps asking for it. Just talk
to that person right now about how they should tell
their partner Listen. I don't want to give it to you.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I think the most important thing is just to stand
by whatever you are feeling. So I feel anxious about
giving this out. I just feel uncomfortable about it. I
feel whatever the feeling is, and I would lead with
that there's not really a wrong in this situation. But
I would say I would do some internal reflection and
try and understand a little bit what makes you so
(11:38):
uncomfortable so that you can lead that conversation effectively.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
All Right, Coping Queen on Instagram, you can hit her direct.
We do this every Tuesday, and we're about We're here
coming up next, I have the three things you need
to know to get your day started in this sunny
Cincinnati day, and we're gonna talk about We're going to
talk about the public opinion and the community's opinion on
Kendrick Lamar being the Super Bowl halftime performer, because there
(12:05):
has been some chatter online.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
We'll get to that next
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