Man tries to rob a gas station with a 5 foot long Snake

Man tries to rob a gas station with a 5 foot long Snake

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
One o seven nine KVPI and yourshow time for stupid stories. Stot y'all,
all stop stupid stories, brought toyou by Steve on Steel Dealers dot
Com. All right, let's ripit. A tax prepared in New York
City known as the Magician, andhe's not even doing his magic anymore.

(00:21):
He just got arrested by the IRS. Oh one hundred million dollars tax ripoff
scheme. Yikes? Wow, wow, man, it's too far bro Like,
I don't know why people get sogreedy one hundred million, Why don't
you just work it for like two? Police in Indiana arrested Now, The

(00:47):
story says police in Indiana arresting anidiot who went fashion than one hundred miles
per hour while standing on the seatof his motorcycle. Look, this is
just again a blatant signed that they'rejust jealous because he could do something they
can't. They're just jelly, Scoop, They're just jelly. Are we gonna
have to start a new speed recordfor people standing on motorcycles? He sounds

(01:11):
like Honestly, it sounds like somethingsomebody with a small penis will say,
Uh, oh, he's an idiotstanding on the seat of was But look,
man, he may standing maybe morecomfortable for him in the city.
What have you got it? Whatif you got hemorrhoids? What if he's
really short and he's trying to seeover traffic? Yeah, you're thinking about

(01:34):
that. I don't know how tojustify one hundred miles an hour, but
hmmm in a hurry. Uh,man, I don't know, but still
I think that quite accomplishment, tobe honest. All right, Jimmy Johns
has rolled out a deliciously dope dimebag. You're talking about embracing the scroll.

(01:57):
They're doing this to celebrate four twenty. They say it's specially curated,
a ten dollar meal aimed at curingthe munchies, So they making no bones
about it. Is there something specialabout this sandwich they put like Dorito's on
it or not? Have no idea. They just rolled out this deliciously dope
dim bag to celebrate four twenty.I don't know. They gotta do something

(02:22):
with it, right, like bustup some chili cheese friedos on it or
something, just to add that onestoner lader. Yeah, it could a
bag of chips, but uh doesn'tlook like they put them on there.
Oh, maybe they do put themon there for you. That would be
awesome. That's well, Kelly,let me say it does it does on
it? Look, man, justget one. It's a stone meal four

(02:45):
twenty high. Get it all right? Moving on Ozimpic, dude, this
is like the wonder drug. Apparently, Osempic not only helping people lose weight,
but it's making women more fertile.Oh yeah, man, that's the
last thing we need a bunch ofHispanic women taking Olympics. Man. I
always tease Monica, Mike Monica,because you're talking of how crazy is this

(03:09):
you? Tina wants a sister.Oh and so she's like, Mommy,
I want a sister, and shejust looks at me like, well,
we could always get that thing reversed. I'm like, man, I don't
know. Maybe we just keep tryingbecause you're really fertile. We're like,

(03:30):
uh no, new dude. Allright. Let's see. The elephant was
running loose and butte Montana yesterday.Yeah, to escape from a traveling circus
that was in town. You imaginebeating beat Montana. It's ee an elephant
rolling wild like what the boy inPrairie Dog should have changed recently. Uh,

(03:57):
that's different kind of buffal honey,that a hairless buffalo. Yeah,
just nil, but run around,that'd be different, all right, into
an era. It looks like there'sthere's an article out how airline experts are
saying reclining seats on airplanes are theprocess of being phased out for economy class
anyway. Oh, they say itmultiple reasons. The main one is seats.

(04:24):
They don't recline a lighter, whichkeeps fuel costs down, and they
don't need mechanical parts, which meansless maintenance. Reclined seats sparked a lot
of issues with passengers and flight attendants, including spilled drinks, damaged electronics.
Some say this could be a quoteblessing in disguise. Okay, yeah,

(04:45):
sure, A bunch of airlines havealready you know, started those pre reclined
seats. God, those things suckfrom frontier and they give you a trade
table the size of a cell phonelike that sucks, man. Uh.
And the newer planes have reduced theaverage recline from four inches, which was

(05:06):
the old standard, to two inches. That's hardly a recline even Yeah,
but I mean those pre reclined seatsthey don't even recline. I didn't even
know how he can call it arecline. It's more like an upright pre
upright. I mean I'm just leaningback like two inches, seeing how far
that is, and that's not muchof a lean. Oh, it's terrible.

(05:29):
I think that's even more than twoinches. All right, man was
the rest in Memphis? Please sayyou attempted rob gas station with a freaking
five foot snake. Oh. Hisname is Reginald Cook. He was charged
two counts of attempted aggravated robbery.His bomb was set at four G's happened
at two am on Monday morning.He walked into a shell, looks like

(05:53):
he made a purchase, then cameback thirty minutes later demanded money from the
register. The cashier thought Cook hada web and because he kept reaching into
his clothing out of the cash hererefused to open the register. He leaves,
so this guy bought something. Comesback thirty minutes later, demands the
money out of the register. Thecat registered guy says, no, I'm

(06:15):
not opening it, so he justtakes off. Comes back another thirty minutes
later with a five foot snake wrappedaround his neck. He shouted the cashier
give me the f and money whilereaching inside of his backpack. Cashire called
nine one one and then pulled outhis own firearm. Oh I thought you
were gonna say, pulled out hisown snake. I was like, wow,

(06:35):
that would be well. Reginald sawhis firearm was like, oh,
I'm out, nimon And apparently ReginaldCook was taking the custody. They found
a reilroad spike and a rock insidehis backpack. They also took possession of
a snake. But I'd be like, what are you gonna do with the

(06:55):
snake? It's wrapped around your arm. You're not gonna throw it at me,
you know. But you imagine somedude like hold up a give us
give you the money, and likethreatening threatening you with a snake. I'd
be like, come on, man, this is what's funny. The last
paragraph of the story says that thestore owner says Reginald Cook's family came by

(07:19):
the store on Tuesday to apologize forReginald's behavior and said they offer to pay
for any damages that he caused.Oh wow. His family was like,
man, that's our boy. Weknow you're gonna end up in stupid stories
with a move like that. Moresnake stories. Uh, spring is here

(07:43):
time for hiking and biking and thatmeans rattlesnaks in the front range. They
are a Colorado resident, so theyhave to be wary of it, says
Kevin Fitzgerald of Veterinarian with the VCAout of me to East Veterinarian Hospital.
That's doctor Kevin, Doctor Kevin.And he said in Kyrader there are thousands
of rathers and they are not aggressiveby nature, but they will bite they

(08:07):
feel threatened. They said, Ithink you were taking your dog on a
height, keeping him on a leashin areas where they're not familiar with and
not letting him go into like underbrushor get far away from you is the
best device. Okay, the snakesare here, so said ninety of the
dog bites tend to be on theface. Oh the dogs are you know,

(08:30):
strip around the underbrush like what areyou? What are you? What
do you bite? All right?More animal stories. Wall Street Journal did
a big ride up on how farmershave started using axe body spray to prevent
male sheeps from fighting. Say whatshut the front door? So this is

(08:52):
why? What do you know aboutaxe body spray. Uh, you can
say it. You can say itstinks. It stinks, It smells terrible,
and it's overwhelming, smells like ahigh school locker room and a low
credit score and an old nova.So look, here's the deal. Somebody

(09:18):
realized that the smell of axe bodiesprey is so strong that it masks a
ram's natural pheromones. And apparently it'sa good enough trick that's been filtering through
the sheep herding community now for severalyears. There's even a specific sent that
works really good for it. Oh, the Axe Africa. It's also marketed

(09:43):
under the same name of Axe Kiloka, the same stuff. But you know,
if you got sheep that can't getalong, or you know, or
you got a couple guys that keepfighting, maybe just dousing with Axe Africa
or Axe Kilo. I feel likeaxe is something that spawns more fights.

(10:07):
Yo. I feel like there's morefights in physical contact in the axe using
community than there is the non axeusing community. Oh, he wears axe
bodies praising gonna be aggressive? Allright? Look, have you've been amazed
at how recent or how your yourzero sugar pepsi's have recently been tasting well,

(10:35):
there's a trick. The so pepsiis recalled hundreds of cases of zero
sugar pepsi products because apparently they're chockfull of sugar. Oh no, uh
yeah, there's some kind of mixup and products canned. The zero sugar
contained the full weapons great amount ofsugar. Maybe they could just put a

(10:58):
comma on the pepsi no comma sugar, right right. This includes this says
most of these products were ship toMaryland, Pennsylvania, West Virginia. So
no injuries or illnesses have been reportedyet, but I imagine there's some medical

(11:20):
conditions, right yeah, I wouldthink if you're I don't know if the
no sugar deals with like diabetes,That's what I'm thinking, Like you have
trouble regulating that problem. Oh it'ssad, laugh at but damn well it's
a pepsi problem, right yeah,screwy pepsi. All right, this is

(11:46):
kind of funny for Colorado taxpayers.For more than a year now, Colorado
taxpayers have been well have been payingfor a pilot and a mechanic to come
to the state and fly helicopter thatisn't actually here. What so this is
just there is so much of thisthat cares in the government. I mean
it is just endless man. Sothere's a Firehawk helicopters converted. It's basically

(12:13):
a converted Blackhawk helicopter is supposed tobe a powerful new tool to fight fires
in Colorado, and twenty twenty one, Governor Jared Polis signed a bill authorizing
the state to spend twenty four milliondollars to buy this thing. Okay,
the new helicopter is on the fleetof emergency response aircraft to help first responders

(12:35):
get off the ground sooner and quicker, said police on March twenty twenty one
at a bill signing event. Threeyears later, nothing has happened. Oh
no, this is this is howgovernment works, especially left leaning government.

(12:58):
But we're still paying the pilots.Yeah, the first helicopter was supposed to
be delivered at the end of twentytwenty two. Oh that didn't happen.
Looks like we're finally going to takepossession of a Firehawk helicopter sometime this month.
But it didn't stop the state fromsigning a two point four million dollar

(13:20):
contract with an aviation company to hirea pilot and a mechanic to come fly
the helicopter for all of last year. A helicopter that wasn't here, didn't
fly. We still paid this companyfor this contract two point four million dollars,
y'all, two point four million dollars. The response from the government from

(13:43):
Governor Polis, Well, the contractis hard to get out of. It's
a one year contract. It's aone year contract. You could just say,
hey, you know what, wedon't have that helicopter here, so
therefore we are I do know,no voted contract. We can't hire a
pilot a helicopter we don't have,can't work on a helicopter we don't have.
And as a mechanic, you probablyneed something to work on, right,

(14:05):
Yeah, I'd say so. They'rejust drawing pictures of helicopters in the
back room, right. What elsewe work on the day? Oh?
Nothing, just played darts. Gottwo point four million dollars in taxpayers of
dollars. Yeah. Oh, it'sjust hard to get out of. It's
a one year contract, all right. Moving on, Only eleven percent of

(14:28):
bosses think their employees are burned out. Yeah. A new poll found that
most bosses think their employees are doinggreat when it comes to avoiding a burning
out at the end of each week. But when you ask employees, oh,
man, you get a really reallydifferent answer. What percent of employees?
Oh, I'm gonna go with alittle more than half. Let's go

(14:50):
sixty percent. All right, Soagain, eighty nine percent of managers think
that their workers are thriving right now. Out of employees, twenty four percent
would agree with that savment. Oh, seventy six percent say that they are
burnt out. So yeah, alittle bit of a discrepancy there. In

(15:15):
other words, nine to ten boxesthink everybody's hey, everybody's loving work.
It's a great environment. They absolutelyjust a door coming in every day.
Yeah, but most people they draggoing to work. I'm trying to think
if I know anybody that would beconsidered thriving right right thriving? Oh,

(15:35):
I'm just thriving right now, areyou? For everybody, it's either I'm
just barely getting by or I'm notquite getting by. Yeah. I was
telling my boys last night. Mancan't save anything anymore. He's just it's
just managing. Yeah, hardest hellis saving anything. Man crazy