September 4, 2023 • 46 mins
Granger Smith Podcast Episode 204: Join my brother Parker Smith and myself as we discuss these topics and more on this week's podcast!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
And so this is a conversation that can get down
a slippery slope super quick. You have to be careful
with this. What's up, everybody. Welcome to the podcast, episode
(00:20):
two hundred and four, and I've got Parker with me
as a guest. What's going on man in the new setup?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
It looks great in here.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thanks man. I've got the new yee Fall Lunch tan hat.
This is Ayee Outdoors. I really like this hat. You
brought it. You brought it today. You brought up several
options for me. You know. It shows this one. And
I've also got this this black with the green Yeegee
lure on the pocket T shirt. Love that one.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, man, We're so pumped for this next phase in
YEEZ life with you being off the road where pump
fall lunch is always the most exciting time of the year. Yeah.
So we have lots of fun stuff playing with EE.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, I'm like back to being a full time employee
again at EE. It's really cool. But we answer your
questions on this podcast. That's what we do. Email me
Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We'll walk through these
like we're sitting around a table doing a podcast or
like We're sitting in a truck heading down the road,
and we're both in the cab and you say, hey, man,
(01:23):
can I run something by? I got something that's been
on my mind? And I say, sure, hit me. Parker,
is your brain ready to answer these people's questions? And
we're about to find out you haven't been on an
episode in a long time.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I think I'm gonna ask you more questions than answer
the question.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
All right, Well, I mean, I've got so many of
these and Parker and I don't have notes in front
of us. We haven't talked about these questions at all.
I haven't quished you on anything you don't have, like
a stack of Winston Churchill quotes or something that you're
gonna pull out. We're just literally going like we're sitting
around a campfire, and I'll just start at the very
(01:59):
first one. This one came today at eight fourteen am.
Subject line says, needing motivation on my walk with Christ.
Good day, Grangeer, Hope all is well with you and
Amber and London and Lincoln and Maverick. I've been inspired
by your testimony. I still haven't picked up my copy
of Like a River, but I will soon. But I'm
very inspired, inspired by how you proclaim the gospel so
(02:21):
openly with your platform. My question is this what made
you realize that you had to stop being a touring
country singer to follow ministry. Was this considered after many
sessions of prayer. I also desire to be a pastor.
I believe I've been called to it, but I let
other things get in the way of that. Instead of
(02:42):
reading theology books, all waste my time with worldly things
like playing video games or entertainment instead of being in
God's word more, I've been inspired by how you want
to give up the music stage and be on the
church stage preaching the gospel message. That had a big
that had to be a big sacrifice for you and
your family, but you did it. Any words of advice
(03:03):
on how to make these sacrifices in my life. I
keep claiming how much I believe I'm called but and
I say this to my pastor, but I'm not making
these sacrifices. My wife, Diane thinks I just need to
give it all up entirely, and I would love your
take on this. At the same time, I wish my
(03:25):
current church would help me more on my ministry, walk
my current pastor knows about my desire to be a pastor,
but he hasn't been mentoring me at all. Maybe he's
just waiting for me to volunteer on a Sunday morning
ministry to see if I'm really called to it. But
my old church back home, when I was living in
New York State, well, they allowed me to preach and
I loved it. I'm gonna skip a little bit and
(03:47):
go down to you're preaching. He says, you're preaching really
speaks to me, and keep that light shining. Yeah, okay, cool.
I think that's the gist of the email, and it
says in Christ, Robert Taate. So it's interesting. I get
a lot of emails like this, people that say, oh,
I see what you're doing. I too have been called,
(04:11):
And sometimes I feel like we can kind of toss
that that idea out. I've been called, but calling has
an action to it. In fact, it is action. It's
less declaration and more action. And so I would say this, Robert.
(04:37):
There's a lot of things I could say about your email,
and I want to encourage you, and I want to
thank you for emailing and thank you for being honest
and vulnerable. But I would I would say that if
you are more concerned with video games and worldly things
and entertainment, then that's a really good sign that you
shouldn't be at the pulpit right now and you should
(05:01):
really pump the brakes on that whole thought. I mean,
my first thought was I'm reading this is I'm like, well,
is seminary in this discussion? Because that's that's like the
thing is, where is seminary? Where's to talk about seminary? Parker?
What you got?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah? I kind of hear him talk about having a
lack of motivation for godly things versus worldly things. So
that's kind of the first part that you could kind
of touch on. And the second part is how he
feels discontent in his church and how it feels like
they're not resourcing him correctly. So just to kind of
(05:41):
slice that neatly, what would you say to someone who's
just not feeling motivated for Christ? Do they just need
to work harder, do they need to just be more disciplined,
do they need to wake up earlier?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What do you think about that? Okay, Well, I mean
you're kind of asking to things. I mean, are we
talking about salvation? Are we talking about a call the ministry.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Initially, I'm just kind of talking about someone who's probably
like a lot of people listening who are just like
I love that you're into Jesus so much, and I
wish that I was more motivated. How do I become
more motivated to read my Bible more or to be
more interested in godly things? Because the world says that
(06:25):
it's all about, you know, a work ethic and having discipline,
when my mind, just the first thing that comes to
my while you're thinking to me is just having prayer,
going straight to prayer and asking the Lord to give
you that desire to read his word more, to love
(06:45):
others more, because it's not something that's going to come
naturally to us.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah, I always think about the Psalms. I always think
about because the Psalms really changed my life. And listen
to and Psalm forty two. Psalm forty two one says,
as a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my
soul for you, Oh God, my soul thirst for God,
(07:13):
for the living God. It's like I hear that if
you could say that, if you could believe that, if
you could fuel that in your own quiet time, then
that's the foundation to build upon. And if you can't,
then you say, God, I read this and Psalm forty two,
and I don't really feel that. I like video games more,
(07:34):
give me a heart for that. Give me that kind
of heart. I want to fuel that. Because ministry, you're
calling all that stuff way kick that can way down
the road. You got to feel this first. You gotta
think as a deer pants for flowing streams, so so
so pants my soul for you, Oh God, if you
could say that and mean that, that's the foundation you're
(07:57):
building upon. It starts with you in your house, in
your household. This isn't about how many reps you're getting
preaching at your church. This isn't about if your pastor
doesn't believe you or not because your pastor's thinking, show me,
show me. Don't tell me you've been called. Show me
you've been called, and you show them you've been called
(08:18):
by how's your prayer life, how's your quiet time, how's
your discipling out of the pulfit? And in the four
year of your church, how many men are you talking to?
How many people are you desperately trying to talk to,
to spread the gospel to Because you have this desperation
for their souls. That's how you're going to show the pastor, Hey,
(08:41):
this guy's been called. It doesn't matter if you say it,
or you dream about it, or you crave it, or
you think about it and you go back and play
video games.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
There's a book called A Path to Being a Pastor
by Bobby Jamison that's really good that talks about if
any of you are listening and you're considering ministry or
considering being a pastor, it's really good about walking you
through that. One of the things that it says is
to be careful with language like I'm called or anointed
for this. Yeah, And it really encourages you to say
things like I aspire to do this right now, whereas
(09:12):
saying that you're called man, you you might as well be.
I'm not saying that you're not, but it can kind
of come across as I have something special about me
that no one else has that you need to recognize
because I have a direct line with God. He told
me this, whereas man, you could just say, man, I
aspire to this right now. And then the other thing is, man,
we're all called to love God with our whole heart. Soul,
(09:35):
mind and strength, and love our neighbor as ourselves. And
so you could read a book like Discipling by Mark Dever.
That's like, man, it's not just the pastors that are
supposed to do this, you know. Jesus is commanding us
to love others, just like you were saying, man, yeah,
you should go find some guys to take to lunch
in your church and find some people to serve and
love and care for. Because if we're talking about being called,
(09:58):
we're all called to do that way.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Well, yeah, last thing I would say is be wared
to look at me and go Granger's called. I don't
think I've used that language. I don't think I've said
I've said I'm shedding some things, I'm forsaking music touring
so that I could focus on equipping myself. But I
(10:21):
don't think I've ever said I'm called to be a preacher.
I don't think I've used that language. Parker and I
are both in we are enrolled in students as students
at Southern Seminary. So I would say, go to Southern,
you know, like go to Southern. Equip equip equip equip equip.
(10:42):
Do that sit under wise teaching. Then as the dust subtles,
you'll show us, not tell us about your calling. Let's
go to the next one. It says, how do I know?
Please read I'd like to stay anonymous. Hey Grangdera, I'm
eighteen from southeast Texas. I listen to your podcast and
(11:04):
i've been I have been for quite a long time.
I have a question for you that I'll try to
keep short. How do you know if a girl you
like is the right one? I know a girl who
checks off all the boxes, and I enjoy talking to
her a lot and getting to know her. We met
in church. She has a very nice family, and anytime
we've talked, I've had no problem getting vulnerable with her
(11:26):
and honest about life and family, and even talking about
the Bible with her. But yes, there's a butt. She
is three years younger than me. Is that not okay?
Or is it all right? Most of my family has
married or dated people within a two year or two
to three year age gap. It seems weird to me
in my time. I've never dated anyone before, but I
(11:47):
also haven't been seeking a relationship. But anytime my friends
bring up the idea of being in a relationship, she
always comes to my mind. What are your thoughts? Sorry,
this was long ye yee to anonymous Southeast Texas and
wondering about a girl who I'm assuming is fifteen. You
(12:09):
knew this question was coming apart. You knew something like
this was coming.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
How do you know if someone's the one?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
How do you know if someone's the one? But not
only that, can you be eighteen? I see this kind
of question all the time too. Can you be eighteen
and date a girl that's fifteen? Sixteen?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I have no idea. I wasn't expecting that question.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, that's what he's saying. He's saying, but she checks
all the boxes, but she's three years younger than me.
First of all, that's illegal.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Right, That's what I'm saying. If you're eighteen, I don't
think you can legally date a fifteen year old.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, that's illegal.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I'm not one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Maybe depending on the state, and I'm pretty sure in
the state of Texas that's illegal. Let me put it
in perspective of if I am the father of the girl. Right,
London's about to turn twelve, so we're literally just three
years away from this scenario happening in my house crazy,
(13:13):
and I would say no. To London, I would say
absolutely not. I'm not going to say no to you
hanging out with her as in a group. If you
want to go buy yourself with her on a date,
I'm going to say no, not only because you're three
(13:34):
years older and you're eighteen, but because she's literally fifteen,
and that's too young to be dating in my house.
It's other houses. You could do as you please, but
I think I think it would be inappropriate. But then
to that, I say this, what's the rush man, or
what's the rush you? If you really like her? It
(13:58):
doesn't sound like you're just I sprit to find somebody.
You're not just desperate to jump into this. You're like,
I've never really dated before and I but anytime my
friends bring up a relationship, ah, she's the first one
that comes to my mind. It doesn't really sound like
this is a big deal or anything that needs to
happen right now. But if you did start dating, it
could turn into that. So I would pump the brakes,
(14:24):
hang out with friends in groups, and avoid giving your
heart away too soon, because I do think in this situation, yeah,
it's inappropriate. Agreed. Next question the subjecliente says my in law,
who I get that all the time. Grande had been
married for three years now. I ran into a problem
(14:46):
regarding my mother in law. It's been around two to
three months since she has seen the kids and talk
to me alone. She and my husband spoke on the phone,
but it didn't end well. We have some disagreements and
are starting to see that she will never change. We
fear that if I led her back into our family,
nothing will be any different, and that this process will
(15:08):
just happen over and over again. We are unsure of
what to do. Please, what is your advice on this? Sincerely, Jade.
Also ee, all right, thanks for the email, Jade, your
husband's mother, that's who we're talking about, I believe, and
I see this this thing playing out all the time.
(15:29):
The priority here in this particular situation is the kids.
I'm trying to see if there's like it sounds like
there's just disagreements. She is cold to the family, and
(15:50):
she wants to get back into the family, right she
wants to get back involved. I'm assuming that's what we're
saying here between the lines. And you're worried that the
kids are gonna get too attached and then she's going
to disappear again or blow up. She's going to be gone.
So the priorities to kids and in this situation, we're
not talking about your mother. We're talking about your husband's mother.
(16:14):
And so this is a conversation that can get down
a slippery slope super quick. You have to be careful
with this because you can't come in saying, hey, babe,
your mom's got to go. You have to be in
agreement on this. You have to listen to your husband.
You have to talk. Take the emotions out of it.
We're looking after the kids, but take your emotions out
(16:38):
of it. Put your pride aside, and have an honest
conversation with your husband that's like, hey, we got to
talk about your mom and when it's appropriate for her
to be around our kids, and you have to listen
to him. What do you think?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Be careful with this slippery slope. It could go sideways
pretty quick. Your husband could start defending his mother against
his own wife, and that's an area you don't want
to get into. So be ready because he ultimately don't
take this the wrong way, but he needs to make
the call on this because it's his mother. He needs
to be the one. He should be the one stepping
(17:22):
up that says, Mom, you've crossed a couple of lines here.
Now this is my immediate family. My priority is my
wife and my kids. He needs to say that to her.
That's a boundary he has to put up and not you.
It's not gonna work if you do it. But be
very careful when you're presenting that to him, because if
he says no, I'm not going to say anything, then
(17:44):
you have to be prepared to go with your husband
on his decision with that too. Yeah, be careful with this.
Let's say it one more Subjeclone, says parent divorce Grangerard.
My name is Evan. I'm nineteen from southeastern Ohio, and
I'm fairly confident after the argument. I just heard that
(18:06):
my parents may be getting divorced. And this has been
hard for me to handle since I've never had my
biological father in my life and my stepdad has been
the father figure in my life since I was around
five years old. I'm just not sure how to process
this and cope with it, and think some words from
you would help me get through this, and I would
(18:27):
greatly appreciate it, sincerely, Evan. All Right, brother, I'm sorry
you're going through this. Nineteen, never been around your biological dad.
You've had this guy since you were five, so he
is your dad in so many ways. But here's the positive.
(18:50):
You're nineteen. Now, you should be stepping off into your own,
starting your own life, starting either school or a career,
paying your own rent, paying your own way, maybe dating
a girl. You're branching out, and so this divorce is
(19:10):
not gonna hit you like it would have if you're
five years old, six years old, eight years old. Right,
you're not in the house anymore. So now it's gonna
be up to you. You're saying, I'm just not sure
how to process this and cope with it. Well, this
is gonna be up to you now, how you process
(19:33):
something that is not immediately in your life anymore, Parker.
Of you known anybody like.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
This, man, I know you do. I wasn't around a
whole lot of divorce personally. I'm so sorry, man. I
hope that it doesn't happen, first of all, and then
second of all, that's a good point, Granger of Man.
I would just encourage you that you know you're nineteen.
(20:00):
Young man. You know, Lord Willing, you have a lot
of years ahead of you, and I would encourage you
to be grateful at the time of the time that
you had with your stepfather who was there for you,
and to also moving forward, be the one that stops
(20:21):
this in your family, that stops not having a father
around for his sons, and then be that force for
good moving forward. Not that you're like resentful or that
you have it's revenge or anything like that, but it's
just like, man, I know, I know what it's like
to not feel like someone's there for you, and so
I would encourage you, as you, you know, decide the
(20:43):
kind of man that you want to be, uh, to
be the one that's going to be there.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Actually, Carson, one of our employees, I was just having
a really good conversation with him as biological father was
never there for him, and he had such a good
mindset about it. He was like, man, I'm so interested
in fatherhood and I like researching it because I'm so
looking forward to being the father that I never had.
It's good and I was so encouraging me.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I think Evan, it's also important to know I don't
know what kind of argument this was. But I think
it's important to know that you don't have to You
don't have to count this guy out. I mean, you
love this guy. You don't have to necessarily pick sides.
You don't have to go with your mom. You could say, look,
I love both of you. I wish you'd stay together.
(21:27):
I want to be able to help as much as
I can, but I also don't have to pick sides.
And this isn't goodbye. I'm not gonna You're not going
to be gone from my life whatever whoever this guy is.
And you could be there for each of them. You
could be a counsel. You could be a voice or
an ear that your mother could talk to and this
guy could talk to. And you go, look, I know
(21:47):
my mom better than anyone else in the world besides
maybe you, what's going on? Talk to me? Maybe I
can help, And then you could say the same thing
to your mom. Look, I know this guy, not only
because he's my stepdad and I've known him for fourteen years,
but I'm a guy too, and I could maybe relate
a little bit. So what's going on? How could we
(22:10):
deal with this? You could be that guy you don't
have to be the guy that crawls in the corner
and cries and says, I don't know how to cope
with this. You can go, Okay, I'm stepping in. I'm
gonna be somebody. I'm gonna help. Like Parker said, I'm
gonna be a force for good in this family in
this immediate situation. And I'm also taking notes because I'm
not going to be in this situation when I'm married.
(22:33):
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and community and experience transformation. And of course, as always,
if you want to get a hold of me, the
best way to do it is cameo dot com slash
Granger Smith, or you can download the Cameo app and
search for me Granger Smith. This allows you to get
(24:01):
a video message from me saying whatever it is that
you want me to say. So you go into the
app you say, hey, I want Granger to say happy
birthday to my son, or to my friend, or to
my mother, or maybe a word of encouragement or happy anniversary,
whatever it might be. You could say, you make it
(24:21):
up and then I'll sit there on my phone and
read it, and then I'll shoot you a video message
and then you take that message and deliver it as
a gift. It's actually a really good last minute gift
or to someone that you think already has everything and
you can't think of anything else. Get a cameo from
me from cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, or download
(24:43):
the cameo app and search for me. Granger Smith. Speaking
of gift ideas, like a River would be a great gift.
I'm a little bit biased with my book Like a River.
I think could be the perfect gift to somebody that
is perhaps needing a word of encouragement me up, or
someone that's actually going through some kind of grief, suffering, loss,
(25:05):
heartache right now. And that person could be yourself as
we get closer to the holidays coming up now that
it's fall already.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Grab a few of them.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
It really helps me out, It helps the algorithm out.
And whenever you get a book from whatever website that is,
say it's Amazon, give us a good review. That really
helps the book Like a River and its message get
to more people. I appreciate you guys for that. Parker's
(25:36):
over here. Were actually gonna shoot a EE Apparel Fall
launch little promo over here at the house as we
record the podcast, and always pumped about that. Parker, what
day that's comes out? The fifteenth September fifteenth September fifteenth
ten ame dot com. Going back to these questions, if
(25:56):
you have one for me, email Granger Smith podcast at
gmail dot com. Interesting subject line here says he only
likes me when he's drunk. Hey Granger, I'm twenty two
years old. I'm a woman. In early twenty twenty two,
I was talking to going on dates with a guy
for two months. He was really cute, fun, country, sweet
(26:21):
and cool. He's a bull rider. Then I found out
he had a girlfriend and I told her, but they
stayed together for about ten more months. It absolutely devastated me.
It may be super insecure, and I still compare myself
to this now ex girlfriend that she is. I ran
into him in public in January and he apologized to me,
(26:42):
of course he did the rest of the night, he
was very nice to me, but then ruined it by
asking me asking me to go home with him, obviously
meaning to have sex. I'm waiting for marriage, so I
said no. But in June he began reaching out to
me again. He unblocked me on everything, and now we
snapchat every day. Occasionally he'll call me in the wee
(27:04):
hours when he's drunk and he tells me all these
things He remembers about me when we talked, and compliments
me and hents it wanting to hook up. I feel
pathetic because even though I know I shouldn't be talking
to him, deep down I still like him. If he
asked me on a real date, I know I would
say yes. And I don't know why. How could I
(27:27):
move past him? I've talked to other guys since him,
but for some reason, he's the one I can't get over. Sincerely, Vicky, Oh,
those bull Riders. There's this scenario on that TV show
Friday Night Lights that Amber and I used to watch
years and years ago, that had a scenario that played
(27:48):
out just like this bull rider that's always got Hey
this guy. First of all, before we get into this question,
the guy's got multiple girlfriends in multiple towns, no doubt,
no doubt, he's texting you in the wee hours of
the night. Let me ask Let me ask you a question, Vicky,
Do you really think you're the only one he's texting?
(28:09):
Do you think you're the only one he's trying to
hook up with? No, of course not absolutely not. So Park,
what you got? What do you say for Vicky here?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Well, I'm thinking of what Vicky would be asking you
if she was here, and it would be I mean,
she obviously can't. She knows that this is not the
guy that she wants to be the father of her children,
but she can't stop herself from being attracted to him.
And so, yeah, I don't know. I think in today's age,
(28:46):
I mean, how many songs are like your Love's a drug.
I can't get enough. You always leave me, but I
always keep one like wanting to come back from more. So, Vicky,
I would just encourage you to just sit back and
be like, what is it about me that is so?
Why am I I attracted to this type of man?
And there's a guy that I like, JP who who
(29:07):
says people come up to me and they're like, why
am I always attracted to bad boys? Why am I
always attracted to these these terrible guys that end up
just like being a player? Why do I always keep
wanting to go to them? And he's like, well, what
kind of TV shows are you watching? And they're like, no, no, no,
you're not hearing me, Like I'm having problems with guys.
And he's like, well, what kind of music are you
listening to? And they're like like, what are you talking
(29:29):
about I'm talking about dating advice, and it's just like
He's like, man, could you be aware of, like subconsciously,
these things that you're consuming, the types of people that
you're around, where you're going to look for these guys.
Have you ever thought that you're you're training your heart
to look for the wrong things based on what you're consuming.
That's the first thing that comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
That's so good. So what you said is in the
analogy of a song, your love is a drug. Right,
So if this guy, this bull Rider guy, what if
the if he was a drug then and you that
you're addicted to it and you're trying to quit it,
what do you do? I mean, you could also rephrase
it that same way. And Parker's right, there's a great
(30:14):
point to think about. Okay, he's obviously not my future.
He's obviously not the father of my children. I'm I'm
I'm obviously not walking down the aisle in a white
dress with this guy. You're you're saving yourself from marriage, VICKI.
This is the not the guy you're gonna you're gonna
walk down the aisle with, Right, that's obvious. So he's
just a drug that you're addicted to. So what do
(30:36):
you do? You make a decision when you're sober, not
at three am. No I'm not I'm not talking about
actually drunk. I'm talking about love drunk. You make a
decision when you're sober and not love drunk at midnight
or lonely. You make a decision, just like you go
to the grocery store when you're you're not hungry or
(30:59):
you're gonna buy more. You go to the grocery store
when you're starving. You're gonna buy more. You're gonna go
down all the aisles and be like, oh, i'm starving,
I'll actually want this and this. So avoid the grocery
store when you're starving, and avoid making these kind of
decisions when you're love drunk. So wait till you're sober. Whenever.
Maybe you're with your girlfriends. They're giving you confidence, they're
giving your strength, And you do this. You go through
(31:19):
your phone, block his number, You go to snapchat. First
of all, while you on Snapchat, delete it or block him,
block him out of your life. Protect yourself, Guard your
heart like it's valuable, like it actually matters, and because
it does, guard it because it's fragile, and you give
(31:41):
it away, you lose yourself. You slip up one night,
you will regret it for a long long time. So
you guard your heart. You build a wall, you build
a vault around this heart. With this cowboy guy. If
this was London, if this was my daughter and she
was dating this roady oh dude, and this is how
(32:02):
he treats women. This is the respect he has for women. No,
this is what we're talking about. Guarding your heart like
a treasure, like a fine pearl. You're guarding your heart, okay,
And you're going to do this when you're love sober,
and you're gonna block him on everything. Then you're gonna
get an accountability buddy, some girlfriend that you trust, maybe
(32:25):
your parents, sister, brother, whoever it might be. And you say, look,
I have to admit something. I know. I'm a twenty
one year old woman and I can make my own decisions.
But there's this guy and he's not a good guy,
and I need to make sure that I stay away
from him because I have a tendency to like him,
(32:47):
and I need your accountability. I need you to say
get away from him, let's go. I need you to
help me use this community. Yeah, and then go back
and listen to what Parker said about where you're listening to,
what you're watching, how you're training your heart. Next question,
(33:12):
I'm just literally going down the line here on these emails,
it says podcast question. Hey Granger, now that your music
career is finished, I have a couple questions for you.
What is one song that you have recorded in your
career that you look forward to not ever singing again?
And what is one song that you have recorded that
you're gonna miss singing? The most comes from Michael Man. Michael,
(33:36):
I don't have a song that I'm going to look
forward to not ever singing again. I don't, Honestly, I
know that's probably a common question. I think I've heard
Jimmy Buffett say that about Margaritaville. Nah. I legitimately, if
we play it consistently, if we used to play it,
if it was a song that was popular, I've legitimately
(33:57):
loved it. Not because I particularly love the craft of
that particular song. It's just because it's associated with my
band and and and the crowds, and it was fulfilling
in that way. So I don't have that number one.
I don't have a song like that. Number two, What
song that you have recorded? Are you gonna miss singing
(34:18):
the most? I don't. I don't have that either. Yeah.
I actually was just singing down there in a Maverick
earlier song called Stutter Yeah, a little microphone. I was like, Hey,
mav it's Friday night only I'll do this because at
the time we're recording this, it's a Friday night, so
I would be at a concert right now. I don't
have that either. Man, I don't have either one of
those questions, both of it. It's like, yeah, yeah, I'm
(34:43):
good either way.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Is there one of your songs if you're gonna play
it live.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
That is.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
That comes to mind that's more difficult to play or
perform or sing live where you're like, oh, I really
gotta be on it for this song.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yeah, there's there's songs that are for easy to do.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
What's an example of like a really hard one? I
think they might find that interesting.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I can remember never too Old that song Never too old.
We never played it that much because it just it
takes them a little bit of vocal gymnastics to play
that song, even though I loved it, And there's a
lot of songs that I have to like really be
warmed up for. And then there's songs like Maerica that
I literally just can't play on the guitar. It's too complicated.
(35:32):
I could sing it fine, but I have to have
Todd with me. I can't play Do Do Do Do Do,
can't do all that crazy stuff. So and then there's
songs that are just like peanut Butter and Jelly, like
Silver Oda bench Seat that's just so easy. It's that's
the best sound check song because it's easy to sing,
the chord structures are super simple. And then there's other
(35:55):
songs that are harder for me to remember all of
the words, songs like four wheel Drive. There's a lot
of like intricate words in four wheel Drive, and it's
easier for me to fumble up words and mix them up.
So yeah, let's go to the next one. Says Hey Granger.
I always enjoy listening to your podcast and the wisdom
(36:16):
you give. I just finished reading Like a River, and
I cried through every chapter. My question is this, I
was listening to your podcast last week and you were
talking about not over spiritualizing, and I am thirty four
years old, and the way I was raised and always
taught was that in order to get married, you have
to get inspiration from the prophet on who you're supposed
(36:40):
to marry. About a year ago, I left that church
to follow Christ and study the Bible. Sometimes I feel
a law at a loss to know how to pursue
finding a partner for marriage because of my past life
in that church. Any advice you can give would be
greatly appreciated.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
So say I left that church to follow Christ instead.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Of the Bible and study the Bible.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Oh, and study the Bible.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Okay, Yeah, so I could just condense this question down
to how do you find a partner for marriage? Dude, Parker,
You're great at this. This is like your This is
your peanut, butter and jelly. This is your bread and butter. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
When I first became a Christian in early twenty twenty one,
I had I had dated girls kind of on and
off throughout my life. I was twenty seven at the time,
and I heard an analogy that that really helped me,
and that was man, when you when you start following
(37:48):
Christ with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and
you see that He's all that you really need, then
you don't idolize marriage like the rest of society does,
like Hollywood does, like music tells you to do. Just
like we were talking about Vicki, the world is telling
you that you need to find the one or it's
(38:09):
all for nothing. But when you find Christ and you
find his value and you see how short life is
and how long eternity is, then you start chasing after
him with everything that you have. You start loving others,
you get involved with your church, you're reading scripture, and
you are running that race towards Christ with everything that
you have, completely content. And then while you're running that,
(38:33):
you look to your left and you look to your right,
and you see someone to your right who's also chasing
Christ with everything that they have, and they see that
treasure too, and you turn in them and you say, man,
we're running to the same place. Do you want to
just run this race with me? And that helped me
so much and my clarity and knowing for sure that
I was gonna marry Amy because we just kept seeing
(38:56):
each other at volunteer events and at church, and I
could see, you know, what was coming out of her
mouth also reflected her heart, and so that analogy helped me.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, it's great and thirty four years old. Does that
change anything.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
No, no, no, I totally agree.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
The world tells you that you are behind and you
need to hurry.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
That's good. You better hurry because.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Because the girls can only have kids for so long
once you' I mean, I mean, I'm stick. You know
the clock's ticking. If you're forty Are you seriously not
going to be married when you're forty? Are you seriously
not going to be married when you're forty five or
fifty or fifty five? That's what the world's telling you.
But man, you just got to you got to block
out what the world's telling you and think about how
short this life is and how ultimately marriage is not
(39:49):
going to fill that void for you, not to say
that you shouldn't desire it and that you shouldn't be looking.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yeah, how freeing is it now that you get to
do this chase after Christ, fall in love with someone
that is also chasing after Christ and you don't have
to get inspiration from the prophet to do any of that.
How freeing that must be. And I'm very encouraged by
(40:20):
you and the strength that it must have taken I
can't can't imagine, and I just, if anything, I just
want to encourage you in that and say I'm so
I'm so happy with what's going on and how the
Lord is moving in you right now, even so much
so that you emailed this podcast asking a really good question,
(40:44):
chase after the Lord, plug into your church, serve at
your church, you'll find someone who's running, like Parker said,
right alongside you. Next question subjectline yee Ye Hey Grangeer.
I'm a fan from North Dakote. Love your music and
I'm proud of you for going after your dream of ministry.
I was just wondering with you leaving country music, are
(41:06):
you getting rid of EEE and Ye Nation and the
Ranch and all that too? Are just the music touring part.
It's a good question. I am so excited to lean
into EEE Apparel, which Parker is the CEO of and
(41:28):
Tyler and Tyler is there every day, and I have
not had the opportunity to go to the ee Farm.
I think that's what you're talking about instead of Ranch
since COVID. I spent a lot of time there during COVID.
That was the only time in my life. In fact,
if it wasn't for COVID, I wouldn't even know what
it's like at all to consistently go to the farm
(41:49):
and hang out with you guys. And an interesting way,
COVID that probably a bunch of people could say the
same thing. But COVID talk me so much. And one
of the things COVID taught me was you don't have
the tour. You're okay, You've got an infrastructure here. God
(42:11):
will provide. I had to learn that through COVID and
it has given me confidence now that going into this
new season. No, to answer your question, Ryan is too
emailed from North Dakota. No, Ye, he's not going anywhere. No,
the farm is not going anywhere. I'm hoping that Ye
Nation will still be alive and well, I'll still be
(42:33):
traveling occasionally going out, maybe doing a Smith tour, maybe
doing a live podcast tour. Comment below if you would
like to see that with Bernie and Parker and maybe
pastor Chad. Maybe Amber can come on that trip. You know,
Chris Lee will be with us. We'll travel around and
do that. We have so many ideas and so many
things that we're going to be able to do with
Ye Nation. And as we go into the holiday season
(42:56):
coming up, doing a lot with ee as far as
pop up shop, maybe having a brick and mortar storefront
coming up. We're working through all of these different kind
of dreams and ideas and very very excited about the
future of EEE.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Would you say the same, Yeah, we're really excited. We've
always wanted ee to be something that could live past
your music career and was just talking to Tyler this
week and we're like, this is one of the most
important weeks of our professional careers because this is officially
like a little turtle that just hatched, that's on the
beach with all these predators and it's like, all right,
(43:34):
that is done with music. Now let's get to the water.
And ye he's always been I think able to live
on its own. So really excited for this next chapter
and for you to be more involved. And we're looking
to get into stores too, in late this year and
twenty twenty four. So if you want your local if
(43:54):
you know of a local store that could carry EEE,
go tell them, tell them to shoot us an email.
We'd love to do it.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
We have a lot of plans for EEE. A lot
of things we talk about behind closed doors, Tyler and
Parker and I the three brothers talking about the future
of VEE, what we want from it. But we desire
for it to continue and to be just a great
company that's essentially our tent making company that allows us
to do all kinds of things all over the world,
(44:22):
and we're very blessed to have EEE. I'm by no
means shutting it down, and really, I mean, let's be
honest here, I'm not shutting down music either. That would
really technically be impossible. Music is not something I could
stop doing. I guarantee there's going to be some kind
(44:43):
of inspiration I'll have at some point, or I've been
thinking about doing a hymn record. I would love to do,
like a traditional hymns record. There's gonna be a lot
of things like that that I'll be exploring. It's the
touring that's shutting down, because a traditional tour where we
have buses and a truck and twelve people on salary
(45:05):
and we're heading out on a Wednesday and we're coming
back on a Sunday afternoon, and we're playing these contracted
dates that we've had on the books for six months,
and the structure of that is too much. It's getting
in the way of everything else that I need to
be doing that I feel like I have to be doing,
so a traditional structured tour is in the way of that.
(45:29):
That doesn't mean that you're not going to hear one
day me come out with a hymns record or write
a new song. I think that those are all totally
within bounds of what you could expect from me and
Yee in the future. Also comment below if you think
(45:49):
Parker could come back on the podcast. It's been a
little bit since he's been a guest on here. And
we are also, hopefully Lord Willing going to get more
consistent with the EEE podcast, which is completely different subject
matter than we have on this one, but that's completely
open too. There's a lot of things I can go
down a list this long of things that we want
(46:10):
to do in the future with all of the platform
that we have. It's not going away just music touring.
I love you guys, See you next Monday. Thanks for
joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all
of you guys. You could help me out by rating
this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
(46:31):
this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell
so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
If you have a question for me that you would
like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Yi
And so this is a conversation that can get down
a slippery slope super quick. You have to be careful
with this. What's up, everybody. Welcome to the podcast, episode
(00:20):
two hundred and four, and I've got Parker with me
as a guest. What's going on man in the new setup?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
It looks great in here.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Thanks man. I've got the new yee Fall Lunch tan hat.
This is Ayee Outdoors. I really like this hat. You
brought it. You brought it today. You brought up several
options for me. You know. It shows this one. And
I've also got this this black with the green Yeegee
lure on the pocket T shirt. Love that one.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, man, We're so pumped for this next phase in
YEEZ life with you being off the road where pump
fall lunch is always the most exciting time of the year. Yeah.
So we have lots of fun stuff playing with EE.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, I'm like back to being a full time employee
again at EE. It's really cool. But we answer your
questions on this podcast. That's what we do. Email me
Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We'll walk through these
like we're sitting around a table doing a podcast or
like We're sitting in a truck heading down the road,
and we're both in the cab and you say, hey, man,
(01:23):
can I run something by? I got something that's been
on my mind? And I say, sure, hit me. Parker,
is your brain ready to answer these people's questions? And
we're about to find out you haven't been on an
episode in a long time.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
I think I'm gonna ask you more questions than answer
the question.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
All right, Well, I mean, I've got so many of
these and Parker and I don't have notes in front
of us. We haven't talked about these questions at all.
I haven't quished you on anything you don't have, like
a stack of Winston Churchill quotes or something that you're
gonna pull out. We're just literally going like we're sitting
around a campfire, and I'll just start at the very
(01:59):
first one. This one came today at eight fourteen am.
Subject line says, needing motivation on my walk with Christ.
Good day, Grangeer, Hope all is well with you and
Amber and London and Lincoln and Maverick. I've been inspired
by your testimony. I still haven't picked up my copy
of Like a River, but I will soon. But I'm
very inspired, inspired by how you proclaim the gospel so
(02:21):
openly with your platform. My question is this what made
you realize that you had to stop being a touring
country singer to follow ministry. Was this considered after many
sessions of prayer. I also desire to be a pastor.
I believe I've been called to it, but I let
other things get in the way of that. Instead of
(02:42):
reading theology books, all waste my time with worldly things
like playing video games or entertainment instead of being in
God's word more, I've been inspired by how you want
to give up the music stage and be on the
church stage preaching the gospel message. That had a big
that had to be a big sacrifice for you and
your family, but you did it. Any words of advice
(03:03):
on how to make these sacrifices in my life. I
keep claiming how much I believe I'm called but and
I say this to my pastor, but I'm not making
these sacrifices. My wife, Diane thinks I just need to
give it all up entirely, and I would love your
take on this. At the same time, I wish my
(03:25):
current church would help me more on my ministry, walk
my current pastor knows about my desire to be a pastor,
but he hasn't been mentoring me at all. Maybe he's
just waiting for me to volunteer on a Sunday morning
ministry to see if I'm really called to it. But
my old church back home, when I was living in
New York State, well, they allowed me to preach and
I loved it. I'm gonna skip a little bit and
(03:47):
go down to you're preaching. He says, you're preaching really
speaks to me, and keep that light shining. Yeah, okay, cool.
I think that's the gist of the email, and it
says in Christ, Robert Taate. So it's interesting. I get
a lot of emails like this, people that say, oh,
I see what you're doing. I too have been called,
(04:11):
And sometimes I feel like we can kind of toss
that that idea out. I've been called, but calling has
an action to it. In fact, it is action. It's
less declaration and more action. And so I would say this, Robert.
(04:37):
There's a lot of things I could say about your email,
and I want to encourage you, and I want to
thank you for emailing and thank you for being honest
and vulnerable. But I would I would say that if
you are more concerned with video games and worldly things
and entertainment, then that's a really good sign that you
shouldn't be at the pulpit right now and you should
(05:01):
really pump the brakes on that whole thought. I mean,
my first thought was I'm reading this is I'm like, well,
is seminary in this discussion? Because that's that's like the
thing is, where is seminary? Where's to talk about seminary? Parker?
What you got?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah? I kind of hear him talk about having a
lack of motivation for godly things versus worldly things. So
that's kind of the first part that you could kind
of touch on. And the second part is how he
feels discontent in his church and how it feels like
they're not resourcing him correctly. So just to kind of
(05:41):
slice that neatly, what would you say to someone who's
just not feeling motivated for Christ? Do they just need
to work harder, do they need to just be more disciplined,
do they need to wake up earlier?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
What do you think about that? Okay, Well, I mean
you're kind of asking to things. I mean, are we
talking about salvation? Are we talking about a call the ministry.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Initially, I'm just kind of talking about someone who's probably
like a lot of people listening who are just like
I love that you're into Jesus so much, and I
wish that I was more motivated. How do I become
more motivated to read my Bible more or to be
more interested in godly things? Because the world says that
(06:25):
it's all about, you know, a work ethic and having discipline,
when my mind, just the first thing that comes to
my while you're thinking to me is just having prayer,
going straight to prayer and asking the Lord to give
you that desire to read his word more, to love
(06:45):
others more, because it's not something that's going to come
naturally to us.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah, I always think about the Psalms. I always think
about because the Psalms really changed my life. And listen
to and Psalm forty two. Psalm forty two one says,
as a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my
soul for you, Oh God, my soul thirst for God,
(07:13):
for the living God. It's like I hear that if
you could say that, if you could believe that, if
you could fuel that in your own quiet time, then
that's the foundation to build upon. And if you can't,
then you say, God, I read this and Psalm forty two,
and I don't really feel that. I like video games more,
(07:34):
give me a heart for that. Give me that kind
of heart. I want to fuel that. Because ministry, you're
calling all that stuff way kick that can way down
the road. You got to feel this first. You gotta
think as a deer pants for flowing streams, so so
so pants my soul for you, Oh God, if you
could say that and mean that, that's the foundation you're
(07:57):
building upon. It starts with you in your house, in
your household. This isn't about how many reps you're getting
preaching at your church. This isn't about if your pastor
doesn't believe you or not because your pastor's thinking, show me,
show me. Don't tell me you've been called. Show me
you've been called, and you show them you've been called
(08:18):
by how's your prayer life, how's your quiet time, how's
your discipling out of the pulfit? And in the four
year of your church, how many men are you talking to?
How many people are you desperately trying to talk to,
to spread the gospel to Because you have this desperation
for their souls. That's how you're going to show the pastor, Hey,
(08:41):
this guy's been called. It doesn't matter if you say it,
or you dream about it, or you crave it, or
you think about it and you go back and play
video games.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
There's a book called A Path to Being a Pastor
by Bobby Jamison that's really good that talks about if
any of you are listening and you're considering ministry or
considering being a pastor, it's really good about walking you
through that. One of the things that it says is
to be careful with language like I'm called or anointed
for this. Yeah, And it really encourages you to say
things like I aspire to do this right now, whereas
(09:12):
saying that you're called man, you you might as well be.
I'm not saying that you're not, but it can kind
of come across as I have something special about me
that no one else has that you need to recognize
because I have a direct line with God. He told
me this, whereas man, you could just say, man, I
aspire to this right now. And then the other thing is, man,
we're all called to love God with our whole heart. Soul,
(09:35):
mind and strength, and love our neighbor as ourselves. And
so you could read a book like Discipling by Mark Dever.
That's like, man, it's not just the pastors that are
supposed to do this, you know. Jesus is commanding us
to love others, just like you were saying, man, yeah,
you should go find some guys to take to lunch
in your church and find some people to serve and
love and care for. Because if we're talking about being called,
(09:58):
we're all called to do that way.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Well, yeah, last thing I would say is be wared
to look at me and go Granger's called. I don't
think I've used that language. I don't think I've said
I've said I'm shedding some things, I'm forsaking music touring
so that I could focus on equipping myself. But I
(10:21):
don't think I've ever said I'm called to be a preacher.
I don't think I've used that language. Parker and I
are both in we are enrolled in students as students
at Southern Seminary. So I would say, go to Southern,
you know, like go to Southern. Equip equip equip equip equip.
(10:42):
Do that sit under wise teaching. Then as the dust subtles,
you'll show us, not tell us about your calling. Let's
go to the next one. It says, how do I know?
Please read I'd like to stay anonymous. Hey Grangdera, I'm
eighteen from southeast Texas. I listen to your podcast and
(11:04):
i've been I have been for quite a long time.
I have a question for you that I'll try to
keep short. How do you know if a girl you
like is the right one? I know a girl who
checks off all the boxes, and I enjoy talking to
her a lot and getting to know her. We met
in church. She has a very nice family, and anytime
we've talked, I've had no problem getting vulnerable with her
(11:26):
and honest about life and family, and even talking about
the Bible with her. But yes, there's a butt. She
is three years younger than me. Is that not okay?
Or is it all right? Most of my family has
married or dated people within a two year or two
to three year age gap. It seems weird to me
in my time. I've never dated anyone before, but I
(11:47):
also haven't been seeking a relationship. But anytime my friends
bring up the idea of being in a relationship, she
always comes to my mind. What are your thoughts? Sorry,
this was long ye yee to anonymous Southeast Texas and
wondering about a girl who I'm assuming is fifteen. You
(12:09):
knew this question was coming apart. You knew something like
this was coming.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
How do you know if someone's the one?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
How do you know if someone's the one? But not
only that, can you be eighteen? I see this kind
of question all the time too. Can you be eighteen
and date a girl that's fifteen? Sixteen?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
I have no idea. I wasn't expecting that question.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, that's what he's saying. He's saying, but she checks
all the boxes, but she's three years younger than me.
First of all, that's illegal.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Right, That's what I'm saying. If you're eighteen, I don't
think you can legally date a fifteen year old.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah, that's illegal.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I'm not one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Maybe depending on the state, and I'm pretty sure in
the state of Texas that's illegal. Let me put it
in perspective of if I am the father of the girl. Right,
London's about to turn twelve, so we're literally just three
years away from this scenario happening in my house crazy,
(13:13):
and I would say no. To London, I would say
absolutely not. I'm not going to say no to you
hanging out with her as in a group. If you
want to go buy yourself with her on a date,
I'm going to say no, not only because you're three
(13:34):
years older and you're eighteen, but because she's literally fifteen,
and that's too young to be dating in my house.
It's other houses. You could do as you please, but
I think I think it would be inappropriate. But then
to that, I say this, what's the rush man, or
what's the rush you? If you really like her? It
(13:58):
doesn't sound like you're just I sprit to find somebody.
You're not just desperate to jump into this. You're like,
I've never really dated before and I but anytime my
friends bring up a relationship, ah, she's the first one
that comes to my mind. It doesn't really sound like
this is a big deal or anything that needs to
happen right now. But if you did start dating, it
could turn into that. So I would pump the brakes,
(14:24):
hang out with friends in groups, and avoid giving your
heart away too soon, because I do think in this situation, yeah,
it's inappropriate. Agreed. Next question the subjecliente says my in law,
who I get that all the time. Grande had been
married for three years now. I ran into a problem
(14:46):
regarding my mother in law. It's been around two to
three months since she has seen the kids and talk
to me alone. She and my husband spoke on the phone,
but it didn't end well. We have some disagreements and
are starting to see that she will never change. We
fear that if I led her back into our family,
nothing will be any different, and that this process will
(15:08):
just happen over and over again. We are unsure of
what to do. Please, what is your advice on this? Sincerely, Jade.
Also ee, all right, thanks for the email, Jade, your
husband's mother, that's who we're talking about, I believe, and
I see this this thing playing out all the time.
(15:29):
The priority here in this particular situation is the kids.
I'm trying to see if there's like it sounds like
there's just disagreements. She is cold to the family, and
(15:50):
she wants to get back into the family, right she
wants to get back involved. I'm assuming that's what we're
saying here between the lines. And you're worried that the
kids are gonna get too attached and then she's going
to disappear again or blow up. She's going to be gone.
So the priorities to kids and in this situation, we're
not talking about your mother. We're talking about your husband's mother.
(16:14):
And so this is a conversation that can get down
a slippery slope super quick. You have to be careful
with this because you can't come in saying, hey, babe,
your mom's got to go. You have to be in
agreement on this. You have to listen to your husband.
You have to talk. Take the emotions out of it.
We're looking after the kids, but take your emotions out
(16:38):
of it. Put your pride aside, and have an honest
conversation with your husband that's like, hey, we got to
talk about your mom and when it's appropriate for her
to be around our kids, and you have to listen
to him. What do you think?
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Be careful with this slippery slope. It could go sideways
pretty quick. Your husband could start defending his mother against
his own wife, and that's an area you don't want
to get into. So be ready because he ultimately don't
take this the wrong way, but he needs to make
the call on this because it's his mother. He needs
to be the one. He should be the one stepping
(17:22):
up that says, Mom, you've crossed a couple of lines here.
Now this is my immediate family. My priority is my
wife and my kids. He needs to say that to her.
That's a boundary he has to put up and not you.
It's not gonna work if you do it. But be
very careful when you're presenting that to him, because if
he says no, I'm not going to say anything, then
(17:44):
you have to be prepared to go with your husband
on his decision with that too. Yeah, be careful with this.
Let's say it one more Subjeclone, says parent divorce Grangerard.
My name is Evan. I'm nineteen from southeastern Ohio, and
I'm fairly confident after the argument. I just heard that
(18:06):
my parents may be getting divorced. And this has been
hard for me to handle since I've never had my
biological father in my life and my stepdad has been
the father figure in my life since I was around
five years old. I'm just not sure how to process
this and cope with it, and think some words from
you would help me get through this, and I would
(18:27):
greatly appreciate it, sincerely, Evan. All Right, brother, I'm sorry
you're going through this. Nineteen, never been around your biological dad.
You've had this guy since you were five, so he
is your dad in so many ways. But here's the positive.
(18:50):
You're nineteen. Now, you should be stepping off into your own,
starting your own life, starting either school or a career,
paying your own rent, paying your own way, maybe dating
a girl. You're branching out, and so this divorce is
(19:10):
not gonna hit you like it would have if you're
five years old, six years old, eight years old. Right,
you're not in the house anymore. So now it's gonna
be up to you. You're saying, I'm just not sure
how to process this and cope with it. Well, this
is gonna be up to you now, how you process
(19:33):
something that is not immediately in your life anymore, Parker.
Of you known anybody like.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
This, man, I know you do. I wasn't around a
whole lot of divorce personally. I'm so sorry, man. I
hope that it doesn't happen, first of all, and then
second of all, that's a good point, Granger of Man.
I would just encourage you that you know you're nineteen.
(20:00):
Young man. You know, Lord Willing, you have a lot
of years ahead of you, and I would encourage you
to be grateful at the time of the time that
you had with your stepfather who was there for you,
and to also moving forward, be the one that stops
(20:21):
this in your family, that stops not having a father
around for his sons, and then be that force for
good moving forward. Not that you're like resentful or that
you have it's revenge or anything like that, but it's
just like, man, I know, I know what it's like
to not feel like someone's there for you, and so
I would encourage you, as you, you know, decide the
(20:43):
kind of man that you want to be, uh, to
be the one that's going to be there.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Actually, Carson, one of our employees, I was just having
a really good conversation with him as biological father was
never there for him, and he had such a good
mindset about it. He was like, man, I'm so interested
in fatherhood and I like researching it because I'm so
looking forward to being the father that I never had.
It's good and I was so encouraging me.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I think Evan, it's also important to know I don't
know what kind of argument this was. But I think
it's important to know that you don't have to You
don't have to count this guy out. I mean, you
love this guy. You don't have to necessarily pick sides.
You don't have to go with your mom. You could say, look,
I love both of you. I wish you'd stay together.
(21:27):
I want to be able to help as much as
I can, but I also don't have to pick sides.
And this isn't goodbye. I'm not gonna You're not going
to be gone from my life whatever whoever this guy is.
And you could be there for each of them. You
could be a counsel. You could be a voice or
an ear that your mother could talk to and this
guy could talk to. And you go, look, I know
(21:47):
my mom better than anyone else in the world besides
maybe you, what's going on? Talk to me? Maybe I
can help, And then you could say the same thing
to your mom. Look, I know this guy, not only
because he's my stepdad and I've known him for fourteen years,
but I'm a guy too, and I could maybe relate
a little bit. So what's going on? How could we
(22:10):
deal with this? You could be that guy you don't
have to be the guy that crawls in the corner
and cries and says, I don't know how to cope
with this. You can go, Okay, I'm stepping in. I'm
gonna be somebody. I'm gonna help. Like Parker said, I'm
gonna be a force for good in this family in
this immediate situation. And I'm also taking notes because I'm
not going to be in this situation when I'm married.
(22:33):
Let's take a Break your Back podcast is brought to you,
guys by DCX Conference. Let me tell you about it.
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(22:56):
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Tim Tebow, Patrick Lindcyani, John Acoff, doctor John Deloney, Chris Mirov, Vanessa, VN. Edwards,
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(23:17):
Life can feel divided in our personal lives, relationships, and communities,
but we are better together. Learn how to experience unity
in your teams, organizations, and families. Get your tickets today
at Dcxconferences dot Com use code DCX Granger for twenty
five percent off. If you can't attend in person, there
(23:38):
is a live stream option available. Grab a link and
gather your team remotely. Get ready to develop yourself, connect
and community and experience transformation. And of course, as always,
if you want to get a hold of me, the
best way to do it is cameo dot com slash
Granger Smith, or you can download the Cameo app and
search for me Granger Smith. This allows you to get
(24:01):
a video message from me saying whatever it is that
you want me to say. So you go into the
app you say, hey, I want Granger to say happy
birthday to my son, or to my friend, or to
my mother, or maybe a word of encouragement or happy anniversary,
whatever it might be. You could say, you make it
(24:21):
up and then I'll sit there on my phone and
read it, and then I'll shoot you a video message
and then you take that message and deliver it as
a gift. It's actually a really good last minute gift
or to someone that you think already has everything and
you can't think of anything else. Get a cameo from
me from cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, or download
(24:43):
the cameo app and search for me. Granger Smith. Speaking
of gift ideas, like a River would be a great gift.
I'm a little bit biased with my book Like a River.
I think could be the perfect gift to somebody that
is perhaps needing a word of encouragement me up, or
someone that's actually going through some kind of grief, suffering, loss,
(25:05):
heartache right now. And that person could be yourself as
we get closer to the holidays coming up now that
it's fall already.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Grab a few of them.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
It really helps me out, It helps the algorithm out.
And whenever you get a book from whatever website that is,
say it's Amazon, give us a good review. That really
helps the book Like a River and its message get
to more people. I appreciate you guys for that. Parker's
(25:36):
over here. Were actually gonna shoot a EE Apparel Fall
launch little promo over here at the house as we
record the podcast, and always pumped about that. Parker, what
day that's comes out? The fifteenth September fifteenth September fifteenth
ten ame dot com. Going back to these questions, if
(25:56):
you have one for me, email Granger Smith podcast at
gmail dot com. Interesting subject line here says he only
likes me when he's drunk. Hey Granger, I'm twenty two
years old. I'm a woman. In early twenty twenty two,
I was talking to going on dates with a guy
for two months. He was really cute, fun, country, sweet
(26:21):
and cool. He's a bull rider. Then I found out
he had a girlfriend and I told her, but they
stayed together for about ten more months. It absolutely devastated me.
It may be super insecure, and I still compare myself
to this now ex girlfriend that she is. I ran
into him in public in January and he apologized to me,
(26:42):
of course he did the rest of the night, he
was very nice to me, but then ruined it by
asking me asking me to go home with him, obviously
meaning to have sex. I'm waiting for marriage, so I
said no. But in June he began reaching out to
me again. He unblocked me on everything, and now we
snapchat every day. Occasionally he'll call me in the wee
(27:04):
hours when he's drunk and he tells me all these
things He remembers about me when we talked, and compliments
me and hents it wanting to hook up. I feel
pathetic because even though I know I shouldn't be talking
to him, deep down I still like him. If he
asked me on a real date, I know I would
say yes. And I don't know why. How could I
(27:27):
move past him? I've talked to other guys since him,
but for some reason, he's the one I can't get over. Sincerely, Vicky, Oh,
those bull Riders. There's this scenario on that TV show
Friday Night Lights that Amber and I used to watch
years and years ago, that had a scenario that played
(27:48):
out just like this bull rider that's always got Hey
this guy. First of all, before we get into this question,
the guy's got multiple girlfriends in multiple towns, no doubt,
no doubt, he's texting you in the wee hours of
the night. Let me ask Let me ask you a question, Vicky,
Do you really think you're the only one he's texting?
(28:09):
Do you think you're the only one he's trying to
hook up with? No, of course not absolutely not. So Park,
what you got? What do you say for Vicky here?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Well, I'm thinking of what Vicky would be asking you
if she was here, and it would be I mean,
she obviously can't. She knows that this is not the
guy that she wants to be the father of her children,
but she can't stop herself from being attracted to him.
And so, yeah, I don't know. I think in today's age,
(28:46):
I mean, how many songs are like your Love's a drug.
I can't get enough. You always leave me, but I
always keep one like wanting to come back from more. So, Vicky,
I would just encourage you to just sit back and
be like, what is it about me that is so?
Why am I I attracted to this type of man?
And there's a guy that I like, JP who who
(29:07):
says people come up to me and they're like, why
am I always attracted to bad boys? Why am I
always attracted to these these terrible guys that end up
just like being a player? Why do I always keep
wanting to go to them? And he's like, well, what
kind of TV shows are you watching? And they're like, no, no, no,
you're not hearing me, Like I'm having problems with guys.
And he's like, well, what kind of music are you
listening to? And they're like like, what are you talking
(29:29):
about I'm talking about dating advice, and it's just like
He's like, man, could you be aware of, like subconsciously,
these things that you're consuming, the types of people that
you're around, where you're going to look for these guys.
Have you ever thought that you're you're training your heart
to look for the wrong things based on what you're consuming.
That's the first thing that comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
That's so good. So what you said is in the
analogy of a song, your love is a drug. Right,
So if this guy, this bull Rider guy, what if
the if he was a drug then and you that
you're addicted to it and you're trying to quit it,
what do you do? I mean, you could also rephrase
it that same way. And Parker's right, there's a great
(30:14):
point to think about. Okay, he's obviously not my future.
He's obviously not the father of my children. I'm I'm
I'm obviously not walking down the aisle in a white
dress with this guy. You're you're saving yourself from marriage, VICKI.
This is the not the guy you're gonna you're gonna
walk down the aisle with, Right, that's obvious. So he's
just a drug that you're addicted to. So what do
(30:36):
you do? You make a decision when you're sober, not
at three am. No I'm not I'm not talking about
actually drunk. I'm talking about love drunk. You make a
decision when you're sober and not love drunk at midnight
or lonely. You make a decision, just like you go
to the grocery store when you're you're not hungry or
(30:59):
you're gonna buy more. You go to the grocery store
when you're starving. You're gonna buy more. You're gonna go
down all the aisles and be like, oh, i'm starving,
I'll actually want this and this. So avoid the grocery
store when you're starving, and avoid making these kind of
decisions when you're love drunk. So wait till you're sober. Whenever.
Maybe you're with your girlfriends. They're giving you confidence, they're
giving your strength, And you do this. You go through
(31:19):
your phone, block his number, You go to snapchat. First
of all, while you on Snapchat, delete it or block him,
block him out of your life. Protect yourself, Guard your
heart like it's valuable, like it actually matters, and because
it does, guard it because it's fragile, and you give
(31:41):
it away, you lose yourself. You slip up one night,
you will regret it for a long long time. So
you guard your heart. You build a wall, you build
a vault around this heart. With this cowboy guy. If
this was London, if this was my daughter and she
was dating this roady oh dude, and this is how
(32:02):
he treats women. This is the respect he has for women. No,
this is what we're talking about. Guarding your heart like
a treasure, like a fine pearl. You're guarding your heart, okay,
And you're going to do this when you're love sober,
and you're gonna block him on everything. Then you're gonna
get an accountability buddy, some girlfriend that you trust, maybe
(32:25):
your parents, sister, brother, whoever it might be. And you say, look,
I have to admit something. I know. I'm a twenty
one year old woman and I can make my own decisions.
But there's this guy and he's not a good guy,
and I need to make sure that I stay away
from him because I have a tendency to like him,
(32:47):
and I need your accountability. I need you to say
get away from him, let's go. I need you to
help me use this community. Yeah, and then go back
and listen to what Parker said about where you're listening to,
what you're watching, how you're training your heart. Next question,
(33:12):
I'm just literally going down the line here on these emails,
it says podcast question. Hey Granger, now that your music
career is finished, I have a couple questions for you.
What is one song that you have recorded in your
career that you look forward to not ever singing again?
And what is one song that you have recorded that
you're gonna miss singing? The most comes from Michael Man. Michael,
(33:36):
I don't have a song that I'm going to look
forward to not ever singing again. I don't, Honestly, I
know that's probably a common question. I think I've heard
Jimmy Buffett say that about Margaritaville. Nah. I legitimately, if
we play it consistently, if we used to play it,
if it was a song that was popular, I've legitimately
(33:57):
loved it. Not because I particularly love the craft of
that particular song. It's just because it's associated with my
band and and and the crowds, and it was fulfilling
in that way. So I don't have that number one.
I don't have a song like that. Number two, What
song that you have recorded? Are you gonna miss singing
(34:18):
the most? I don't. I don't have that either. Yeah.
I actually was just singing down there in a Maverick
earlier song called Stutter Yeah, a little microphone. I was like, Hey,
mav it's Friday night only I'll do this because at
the time we're recording this, it's a Friday night, so
I would be at a concert right now. I don't
have that either. Man, I don't have either one of
those questions, both of it. It's like, yeah, yeah, I'm
(34:43):
good either way.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Is there one of your songs if you're gonna play
it live.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
That is.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
That comes to mind that's more difficult to play or
perform or sing live where you're like, oh, I really
gotta be on it for this song.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yeah, there's there's songs that are for easy to do.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
What's an example of like a really hard one? I
think they might find that interesting.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I can remember never too Old that song Never too old.
We never played it that much because it just it
takes them a little bit of vocal gymnastics to play
that song, even though I loved it, And there's a
lot of songs that I have to like really be
warmed up for. And then there's songs like Maerica that
I literally just can't play on the guitar. It's too complicated.
(35:32):
I could sing it fine, but I have to have
Todd with me. I can't play Do Do Do Do Do,
can't do all that crazy stuff. So and then there's
songs that are just like peanut Butter and Jelly, like
Silver Oda bench Seat that's just so easy. It's that's
the best sound check song because it's easy to sing,
the chord structures are super simple. And then there's other
(35:55):
songs that are harder for me to remember all of
the words, songs like four wheel Drive. There's a lot
of like intricate words in four wheel Drive, and it's
easier for me to fumble up words and mix them up.
So yeah, let's go to the next one. Says Hey Granger.
I always enjoy listening to your podcast and the wisdom
(36:16):
you give. I just finished reading Like a River, and
I cried through every chapter. My question is this, I
was listening to your podcast last week and you were
talking about not over spiritualizing, and I am thirty four
years old, and the way I was raised and always
taught was that in order to get married, you have
to get inspiration from the prophet on who you're supposed
(36:40):
to marry. About a year ago, I left that church
to follow Christ and study the Bible. Sometimes I feel
a law at a loss to know how to pursue
finding a partner for marriage because of my past life
in that church. Any advice you can give would be
greatly appreciated.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
So say I left that church to follow Christ instead.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Of the Bible and study the Bible.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Oh, and study the Bible.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
Okay, Yeah, so I could just condense this question down
to how do you find a partner for marriage? Dude, Parker,
You're great at this. This is like your This is
your peanut, butter and jelly. This is your bread and butter. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
When I first became a Christian in early twenty twenty one,
I had I had dated girls kind of on and
off throughout my life. I was twenty seven at the time,
and I heard an analogy that that really helped me,
and that was man, when you when you start following
(37:48):
Christ with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and
you see that He's all that you really need, then
you don't idolize marriage like the rest of society does,
like Hollywood does, like music tells you to do. Just
like we were talking about Vicki, the world is telling
you that you need to find the one or it's
(38:09):
all for nothing. But when you find Christ and you
find his value and you see how short life is
and how long eternity is, then you start chasing after
him with everything that you have. You start loving others,
you get involved with your church, you're reading scripture, and
you are running that race towards Christ with everything that
you have, completely content. And then while you're running that,
(38:33):
you look to your left and you look to your right,
and you see someone to your right who's also chasing
Christ with everything that they have, and they see that
treasure too, and you turn in them and you say, man,
we're running to the same place. Do you want to
just run this race with me? And that helped me
so much and my clarity and knowing for sure that
I was gonna marry Amy because we just kept seeing
(38:56):
each other at volunteer events and at church, and I
could see, you know, what was coming out of her
mouth also reflected her heart, and so that analogy helped me.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Yeah, it's great and thirty four years old. Does that
change anything.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
No, no, no, I totally agree.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
The world tells you that you are behind and you
need to hurry.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
That's good. You better hurry because.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
Because the girls can only have kids for so long
once you' I mean, I mean, I'm stick. You know
the clock's ticking. If you're forty Are you seriously not
going to be married when you're forty? Are you seriously
not going to be married when you're forty five or
fifty or fifty five? That's what the world's telling you.
But man, you just got to you got to block
out what the world's telling you and think about how
short this life is and how ultimately marriage is not
(39:49):
going to fill that void for you, not to say
that you shouldn't desire it and that you shouldn't be looking.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yeah, how freeing is it now that you get to
do this chase after Christ, fall in love with someone
that is also chasing after Christ and you don't have
to get inspiration from the prophet to do any of that.
How freeing that must be. And I'm very encouraged by
(40:20):
you and the strength that it must have taken I
can't can't imagine, and I just, if anything, I just
want to encourage you in that and say I'm so
I'm so happy with what's going on and how the
Lord is moving in you right now, even so much
so that you emailed this podcast asking a really good question,
(40:44):
chase after the Lord, plug into your church, serve at
your church, you'll find someone who's running, like Parker said,
right alongside you. Next question subjectline yee Ye Hey Grangeer.
I'm a fan from North Dakote. Love your music and
I'm proud of you for going after your dream of ministry.
I was just wondering with you leaving country music, are
(41:06):
you getting rid of EEE and Ye Nation and the
Ranch and all that too? Are just the music touring part.
It's a good question. I am so excited to lean
into EEE Apparel, which Parker is the CEO of and
(41:28):
Tyler and Tyler is there every day, and I have
not had the opportunity to go to the ee Farm.
I think that's what you're talking about instead of Ranch
since COVID. I spent a lot of time there during COVID.
That was the only time in my life. In fact,
if it wasn't for COVID, I wouldn't even know what
it's like at all to consistently go to the farm
(41:49):
and hang out with you guys. And an interesting way,
COVID that probably a bunch of people could say the
same thing. But COVID talk me so much. And one
of the things COVID taught me was you don't have
the tour. You're okay, You've got an infrastructure here. God
(42:11):
will provide. I had to learn that through COVID and
it has given me confidence now that going into this
new season. No, to answer your question, Ryan is too
emailed from North Dakota. No, Ye, he's not going anywhere. No,
the farm is not going anywhere. I'm hoping that Ye
Nation will still be alive and well, I'll still be
(42:33):
traveling occasionally going out, maybe doing a Smith tour, maybe
doing a live podcast tour. Comment below if you would
like to see that with Bernie and Parker and maybe
pastor Chad. Maybe Amber can come on that trip. You know,
Chris Lee will be with us. We'll travel around and
do that. We have so many ideas and so many
things that we're going to be able to do with
Ye Nation. And as we go into the holiday season
(42:56):
coming up, doing a lot with ee as far as
pop up shop, maybe having a brick and mortar storefront
coming up. We're working through all of these different kind
of dreams and ideas and very very excited about the
future of EEE.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Would you say the same, Yeah, we're really excited. We've
always wanted ee to be something that could live past
your music career and was just talking to Tyler this
week and we're like, this is one of the most
important weeks of our professional careers because this is officially
like a little turtle that just hatched, that's on the
beach with all these predators and it's like, all right,
(43:34):
that is done with music. Now let's get to the water.
And ye he's always been I think able to live
on its own. So really excited for this next chapter
and for you to be more involved. And we're looking
to get into stores too, in late this year and
twenty twenty four. So if you want your local if
(43:54):
you know of a local store that could carry EEE,
go tell them, tell them to shoot us an email.
We'd love to do it.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
We have a lot of plans for EEE. A lot
of things we talk about behind closed doors, Tyler and
Parker and I the three brothers talking about the future
of VEE, what we want from it. But we desire
for it to continue and to be just a great
company that's essentially our tent making company that allows us
to do all kinds of things all over the world,
(44:22):
and we're very blessed to have EEE. I'm by no
means shutting it down, and really, I mean, let's be
honest here, I'm not shutting down music either. That would
really technically be impossible. Music is not something I could
stop doing. I guarantee there's going to be some kind
(44:43):
of inspiration I'll have at some point, or I've been
thinking about doing a hymn record. I would love to do,
like a traditional hymns record. There's gonna be a lot
of things like that that I'll be exploring. It's the
touring that's shutting down, because a traditional tour where we
have buses and a truck and twelve people on salary
(45:05):
and we're heading out on a Wednesday and we're coming
back on a Sunday afternoon, and we're playing these contracted
dates that we've had on the books for six months,
and the structure of that is too much. It's getting
in the way of everything else that I need to
be doing that I feel like I have to be doing,
so a traditional structured tour is in the way of that.
(45:29):
That doesn't mean that you're not going to hear one
day me come out with a hymns record or write
a new song. I think that those are all totally
within bounds of what you could expect from me and
Yee in the future. Also comment below if you think
(45:49):
Parker could come back on the podcast. It's been a
little bit since he's been a guest on here. And
we are also, hopefully Lord Willing going to get more
consistent with the EEE podcast, which is completely different subject
matter than we have on this one, but that's completely
open too. There's a lot of things I can go
down a list this long of things that we want
(46:10):
to do in the future with all of the platform
that we have. It's not going away just music touring.
I love you guys, See you next Monday. Thanks for
joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all
of you guys. You could help me out by rating
this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to
(46:31):
this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell
so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
If you have a question for me that you would
like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Yi
Host
Granger Smith
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