Situationship Dynamics, Sleep Sex Logistics, Brunch Withheld, Toothbrush Roulette, Semen as Metric

In this episode of Your Mileage May Vary, Keith and Mike begin by considering the ethics of emotional honesty. They discuss whether withholding one’s emotional state constitutes a lie, and how much emotional transparency is required in a functional relationship. Keith argues that stoicism, while flawed, is preferable to emotional overexposure.

The conversation quickly turns to situationships, particularly cases where men engage in sustained sexual encounters while deliberately avoiding commitment. The hosts propose several mental models to explain this behavior, ranging from embarrassment to status differentials. Keith draws on the film Bridesmaids for empirical support, which is as close to peer-reviewed literature as the podcast is likely to get. Mike admits to avoiding brunch invitations for fear that a partner might meet Keith and immediately break up with him.

Later, the two revisit the topic of sleep sex, a long-dormant segment of the show’s canon. A Reddit post prompts speculation on the biomechanics of unconscious consent, as well as the engineering challenges of nocturnal vaginal access. Keith is skeptical of the feasibility, while Mike proposes an alternative strategy involving the mouth. As always, they are more concerned with logistical plausibility than moral implications.

Finally, the hosts explore the emotional valence of semen volume and toothbrush sanitation. Keith describes himself as “probably within a standard deviation of the mean,” which is apparently a good thing. A detailed anecdote involving mistaken toothbrush identity is shared, regrettably. The episode concludes with Keith reflecting on his lizard brain and Mike wondering about electro-ejaculators—standard fare for a podcast about relationships.

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