July 29, 2024 • 29 mins
America's top athletes need coaches. And those coaches themselves need guidance. It's a hard and stressful job - and one where coaches can easily become burned out and unhappy. And stressed coaches can't help their athletes win medals.
Christine Bolger and Emilie Lazenby of the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee teach happiness lessons - many they heard on this podcast - to America's elite coaches. They share their story with Dr Laurie and tell us what regular folk can learn from top coaches.
Check out more Olympics related content from Pushkin Industries and iHeartPodcasts here.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pushkin, Pushkin. This summer, Pushkin is going to the Olympics.
(00:36):
Shows across the network have got all sorts of stories
to share, including the latest on sports Science and What's
Your Problem, a suite of swimmers on slight change of plans,
a cautionary tales tale of how women had to literally
fight to be allowed to run the marathon, and an
epic season of revisionist history about why in nineteen thirty six,
America participated in Hitler's Olympics. Here on the Happiness Lab,
(01:00):
we've already spoken to an athlete who fell back in
love with the sport she'd grown to hate, just in
time to head off to the Paris Olympics. But we're
not just interested in sporting stars. To get to the games,
every athlete needs the help and advice of someone who
shares their passion and commitment a coach.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Oh man, this is such a special occasion for me.
I've been a big span.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
It's always humbling to hear that someone is a fan.
But I was absolutely over the moon when I found
out how much this guest liked the show.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I found your podcast and it resonated so much with
me that we were sharing episodes of the Happiness Lab
with the coaches we were working.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
With, because this expert doesn't just work with any old coaches.
We put these episodes out there, but we don't really
know who is listening to them. And to find out
that someone who is actually working in behavioral science with
Team USA, who would be like our affecting our Olympias
at our paralympiads like this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You've got many more listeners now from Team USA because
of the work that you've been doing.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Christine Bulger is the Associate Director for Coaching at the
United States Olympic and Para Olympic Committee, helping to train
some of the finest athletic trainers on the planet.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
We certainly do have some of the best coaches in
the world who are at the top of their game,
who have been there for decades in some cases and
crank out either fantastically gifted performing athletes or teams or both. Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Christine works with trainers across so many sports, archerie badmint
and baseball, boxing, bob sled, cricket, curling, diving, fencing, golf, gymnastics, judosurfing, swimming, weightlifting,
wheelchair basketball, wrestling, and even yachting.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Coaching's coaching regardless of if you're coaching cycling or swimming
or some snowsport. But what we try to do is
cultivate the skills and information that cut across as many
sports as possible. Leadership, communication, care planning, just the things
that will resonate with every coach. And it can look
different in different contexts in different sports, but those are
(02:53):
the pieces that we as USOBC grab onto.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I was shocked at how new this kind of coaching
education is. The US Olympic Committee was founded way back
in eighteen ninety four, but the group only got around
to publishing its Quality Coaching Framework in twenty seventeen. Unlike
say school team, most US coaches, even at the Olympic level,
don't receive special instruction on how to coach.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
There's no requirements for coaches to go through any specific
type of training. For the most part, we now do
safe Sport to ensure that they do background checks and
things like that, and I think first DAID and CPR
tend to be pretty standard now. But really anybody can
go out there and coach, so I think that there
is a big risk without the proper education and training
and we say that so often that coaching isn't about
(03:36):
sport necessarily as much as it is about working with people.
And I think that that is part of what we're
trying to help the coaches understand. If they're overtraining, if
they're not listening to the athlete saying hey, I feel awe,
they really have to have all their senses up so
that they're able to know when to push no, when
to pull back, no, when to change things, no, when
(03:58):
to take a day off, no, when to get out
of the training facility and just try to learn and
get better in a different context. Yeah, it's just it's
so much self awareness and being totally in tune with
the people you're working with and listening to feedback from
the athletes from your coaching staff.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
But Christian's goal isn't just to improve the experience of
the athletes. She's also concerned about the well being of
the coaches themselves, which thus far has been pretty neglected.
It's far from being an easy or a secure job.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
We have some coaches that rely on athletes to secure
an income, where if they don't have the athletes, they
don't put food on the table. There could be some
that don't have that proper health care individually, and if
their spouse doesn't have what they need, then you know,
they're kind of just like growing day to day hoping
that I don't get sick.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
What are the kind of mental health challenges that coaches
go through all the time.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, certainly the pressure to win at the elite level.
If you're not winning across pro sports, across TMOSA, then
you're probably not going to keep your job for very long.
So that in itself is enough of a stressor to
put just so much pressure on yourself that all you're
focused on is working, doing more, staying up watching tapes,
you know, skipping meals because that gives you another opportunity
fifteen to sixty minutes to do more work and put
(05:12):
it in there. So after a while, that takes a toll.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And what are some of the strains that coaches face
when it comes to their own personal relationships and their
family ties.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh boy, we worked with a coach who was on
tour for a winter sport that you know, was gone
for two hundred days a year, that had young kids,
you know, and that leaves their spouse home to take
care of everything on their own. So there's the guilt
factor too. You're missing your spouse, you're missing your kids,
you're missing your pets. They're so selfless most of the
time that all they're thinking about are the athletes in
(05:42):
front of them, and how can I help my athletes
get better.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
It seems like another challenge that coaches face is that
they're kind of the ones that are in some ways
in charge of the performance, but they don't get to
do it themselves. I know, as a faculty member, I've
felt this that, like when I have to give my
own talks, you know, that's nerve wracking and I get
a little bit anxious about it. But when my student
is giving a talk, I'm so much more anxious. And
I feel like my students who are giving talks are
just like giving a talk at some random conference. They're
(06:06):
not like competing for a gold medal in front of
millions of people. And so, you know, is this a
particular challenge that coaches face.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Oh, they're no different than you and your students. They
lose control, especially those that competed as athletes themselves. They're like,
I can't do anything. I'm just on the sidelines. I
hope that all the preparation works and they do what
they need to do, and if it doesn't, I'm gonna,
you know, just tear my hair out. But you can
only do so much and then it's out of your control.
Like prepare them as well as you can, as best
you can, and hope for the best. And I think
(06:35):
that with social media, of course, that's going to come
up in anything. You know, you lose a game or
you do something wrong, even if it's one player, like
that person should be fired because that was just a
horrible situation, Like how can they possibly be considered a
good coach? So I think the pressures are compounded, certainly
by social media. I think that that takes a pretty
special person to try to manage that and keep the
(06:57):
level head when people are just at you all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It seems self evident that sports coaching, particularly at the
elite level, is a stressful business. But as a teacher myself,
I know that those of us went stry or others
often think that we should be the ones with all
the answers. One of the saddest ironies, says Team usa
is New Guidelines, is that although coaches strive to provide
an enjoyable and healthy experience for their athletes. Too often
(07:21):
they approach their job in a manner that has the
opposite effect on their own well being. Christine says that
for that to change, coaches need to be okay with
asking for help.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
So what we want them to do is be able
to take better care of themselves ahead of time. That
takes some vulnerability. We're trying to encourage coaches to make
sure that they have somebody they're talking to that can
relate to them. Might not be their same sport, might
not be even in sport, but somebody that they can
seek and trust and get some input into anything that
(07:51):
they might be going through. And coaches, they aren't typically
used to receiving feedback. They're used to giving feedback. So
it takes a level of vulnerability for sure. We have
to kind of help them understand that it's okay to
ask for help, that it's okay to take a break
every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I was talking to the GIRs for weightlifting coaches actually
last night. Emily Lasanby also coaches the Hard Pressed Team
USA coaches. There is a single mom of two young kids,
and she's got one hundred athletes and she starts at
four in the morning, and she goes until six pm
at night, and at night she's got some time with
(08:29):
her kids, and then she starts all over again because
I don't have time for myself. I mean, that's a
luxury and a privilege to me that I don't think
I'm going to have in this phase of life for
quite some time.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Emily's work involves taking the kind of well being lessons
you hear on the show and tailoring them to the
needs of people just like that time starved weightlifting coach,
so that they don't burn out or just quit the
profession completely.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Coaching is a field in an industry that has no net.
There's no union, there's no government agency or anything there
to support a coach when a performance doesn't happen from
their athlete or from their team. It's very black and white.
If they perform, then there's a high likelihood that the
(09:14):
coach continues on in their role. And if the athlete
isn't performing, then there's also the likelihood of not continuing.
And so I think that there is a lot of
pressure around not having that support net available to them,
and it just adds to the entire pressure of having
to stay optimized in a field.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
It's a tough industry to commit to and be part
of long term. As a happiness scientist, I was really
impressed reading the well being guidance Emily helped design. It
specifically addresses the exact kind of stressors that coaches endure
in their high performance job.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You're spending your days basically filling everybody else's bucket, right,
Everyone's needing you all the time. So to find the
space to actually recover and experience deep breast is a
very rare thing. So most of our coaches are operating
either at an acute or chronic stress stage for as
(10:11):
long as they possibly can. What are some strategies that
coaches can use to kind of handle stress better. One
of the first things that we haven't look at is
is it enhancing?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Many of us look at stress in terms of like,
it's so bad, right, But if we're able to see
stress as enhancing, I actually may be able to utilize
this in a way and help me adapt and persist
through what it is that I am facing right now,
this particular challenge, and actually grow from it and maybe
come out stronger from that adaptation. So I think it's
(10:44):
sort of looking at what is this stress actually looking
like in my life, and how do I need to
approach it differently.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Another strategy I know you've talked about in a lot
of your materials is the importance of social connection. In
one of the articles I read from your group, you
had talked about filling your network with energy givers. You
know what are energy givers and why can that be
so important for helping you to manage stress?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
It's looking at who are the people that bring me
the most joy? That may not be like completely filling
up this battery that's depleted right now, but you know,
who are the ones that I can count on that
I know when I speak with and spend time with
that they're there for me and show up for me
in a way to where I walk away feeling energized.
(11:31):
So it's surrounding yourself with the people that I think
create the most energy, particularly during the harder phases of life,
and maybe setting boundaries around those that tend to take away.
We know that we're going to have to give a
certain amount each day, so how is it that we
can plan to offset that with those people that really
(11:52):
boost us.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
When we need it. I think this is such a
fabulous suggestion, because it's not just the idea that we
talk about a lot in the podcast of kind of
making sure you're getting social connection, but really kind of
paying attention to the particular people you seek out and
making sure those people are kind of the ones that
are feeding you rather than depleting you over time. Another
thing you talk a lot about is the importance of
coaches getting daily physical activity, which felt a little bit
(12:15):
ironic for me because in my brain, you know, these
elite coaches are so focused on like exercise and weight
training and so on, but it kind of sounds like
that in their own lives these things may fall by
the wayside in ways that I didn't expect, And so
what are some of the important benefits of exercise and
how do you get these busy coaches to get more
of that kind of movement in their lives. So it's funny.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
So on my call last night with the weightlifting coaches,
the majority of them their biggest struggle is movement. Some
are like the stuff that I'm teaching every day, it's
actually not unsurprising. That's like, just adding more of that
to their day feels like more, and we want it
to feel like less right, So it's figuring out I
(12:56):
think utilizing movement as a way to help set a
rhythm and a tone for the day. So it's less
about being as fit as you possibly could be.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
If that's your goal, great, but it's more about.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Utilizing movement as an asset to help you feel good,
to help fuel your body and your brain to meet
the challenges of the day, but then also feel good
doing it right. And a lot of what we are
exploring with coaches right now is looking at how they move,
how they like to incorporate that into their day, when
(13:33):
they like to do it, and how they utilize it
as an asset for themselves rather than something that they
feel like they have to do in order to reach
some type of fitness goal.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Another physical activity you talk about with coaches is the
power of sleep. Why is sleep so essential and what
are some of the strategies that you've suggested coaches engage
with to make sure they're kind of protecting their shut eye.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, that's the number one for us, I'd say out
of everything, nutrition, movement, stress, resilience. I mean, all of
them are significant in their own ways, but as we know,
the other stuff doesn't really go as well if we're
not getting sleep. The interesting thing when it comes to
the Olympic and Paralympic environment is that their sleep is
(14:19):
a regular all the time. So do you have routines
set in place that can help you reset after a
bad night of sleep when sleep pressure has build to
the point where you are not falling asleep when.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You want to, or there's jet lag, or you're waking
up in the night.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
So we teach that skill of all right, here's where
I'm at today, here's what I can do, and all
of that is okay, and it's still going to be
the best I can give. And here's how I'm going
to reset tonight. And so it's creating that ability to reset.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Rather than set, Like, what are some of the things
you suggest for coaches who need to figure out a
way to reset better? I love Matt Walker's approach to sleep,
like approaching sleep as if you were landing a plane.
So we often approach it as if it's like a
light switch, where it's just all right, I'm going to
lay down and I got to sleep with in thirty seconds,
whereas our body and our brain needs that time to
(15:14):
take the sleep pressure that we've built that day to
then get it into a place where we're falling into sleep,
and that can take some time.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
And I love that approach in terms of figuring out
what that time looks like for you, whether it's thirty
minutes or sixty minutes or two hours, you know, whatever
it is that you tend to do, you know, warm
showers at night, dark room, cool room, no screens, that
kind of thing, or putting the screen on the opposite
side of the bedroom so that you don't reach and
(15:44):
grab it in the middle of the night and you
look up and there.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Everything is waiting for you.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I think all of those have been really wonderful critical
experiments for us all to play around with to see,
all right, what is it that really works for me.
One of the challenges for coaches in terms of protecting
their well being and sort of maintaining self care is
that they're kind of in this mode of wanting to
do it perfectly. They want to, like, you know, have
the perfect sleep and the perfect nutrition and the perfect exercise.
(16:12):
But you're talking about these tiny tips that allow you
to do these sort of things a little bit imperfectly
but continuously, and so explain why these small additions of
self care can add up over time in these important ways,
like why is that so essential to remember that even
the kind of imperfect attempts at getting some more self
care can be really critical because I think that's life, right,
(16:33):
and I think it's a really wonderful way to look
at it in terms of, all, right, I have some
agency here to really experiment with.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Here's what I know.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
What works with me when stuff's hit the fan, right,
And you know, here's I know what works for me
when I have a little bit more time to myself
to recover. It's adapting between you know, your resource pool
and the challenges that you face every single day. And
it's the seesaw back and forth of I'm facing this challenge,
so what do I need to do to offset that.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
I think one of the problems with self care is
you feel like it has to be one hundred percent.
I mean, I know, I go through this in my
own way. You know, I'll be like, you know, this
is the week that I'm going to get to the gym,
and you know, Monday, I'll get to the gym, and
then Tuesday miss out. I was like, well, I've already
messed up, right, But It's like, no, just one day
at the gym is better than zero days at the gym.
Twenty minutes of extra good sleep is better than zero
minutes of extra good sleep. We sometimes think this has
(17:24):
to be all or none, and I imagine that in
high performance individuals like coaches, that's even worse.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I think it comes down to the ability to look
at what you're leveraging that day as optimal. Right, So,
all right, I got four hours of sleep last night.
I've got ten athletes that I need to coach today,
or I have a ten hour day that I need
to get through. I'm at about thirty percent. But here's
how I'm going to, you know, maximize this twenty five
(17:51):
thirty percent to get through this day the best way
that I can. To me, that's high performance. It may
not be perfect, but it's excellence. And I think that's
the difference, right, is we're not striving for perfection, we're
striving for excellence and using the thirty percent that you
have that day. To me, that's excellence and kind of
(18:13):
recognizing that you're at thirty percent. And it strikes me
this is another strategy that you work with coaches on
a lot, which is just overcoming the stigma of not
being perfect, like overcoming the stigma of recognizing that you're
at thirty percent and you might need to ask for
help or you might need to take a break. Why
is calling a spade a spait and really recognizing where
you're at so important? And what are some strategies we
(18:34):
can use to kind of combat that sense that it
can be sometimes hard to admit when you're struggling. I
think the instinct is to avoid, right to just grind
it out, get it done. So I think right now,
well being can be tied to unrealistic optimism in a
lot of ways, where we feel like perfection is part
of that, but the realistic part of that is that
(18:56):
you know, this is actually what I can do today,
This is all I can do, and that's still a lot,
and it's.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Okay, and that's great.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I really like the strategy because I think it's something
that all of us can use right now. You know,
we might not be Olympic coaches heading off to Paris,
but I think all of us have times at work
when things are a little bit busier, maybe times in
the school year where you know, as a parent things
feel more hectic. It sounds like the strategy is really
like radical acceptance, kind of look at what things really
are like and to ask the question, Okay, what am
(19:26):
I going to be capable of? How can I build
in self care?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
But maybe in a way that's more compassionate, maybe not
beating myself up for not, I don't know, making the
healthiest meals during the busiest time or keeping the house
perfectly clean during the busiest time. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Absolutely, here's the extent of what I can do here,
and I'm okay with that right and accepting it for
what it is and maybe labeling that as great performance.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Of course, all these lessons aren't just vital for coaches.
They apply equally well to ordinary folks like you and me.
None of us can expect to turn in our personal
best each and every day. Sometimes eighty percent might be
the best week in muster under the circumstances, and that's okay.
So what else can we all learn from the high
pressure world of Olympic sports? The Happiness Lab will be
(20:13):
back in a moment. You might not think you have
that much in common with a Team USA coach. They
can put their own lives on hold for years, endlessly traveling,
missing family events, clogging long hours, all to help an
athlete who might pull a muscle, drop a relay baton,
(20:36):
or get a cold come race day. It's hard to
think of a more stressful and unforgiving job, but their
lives can be really instructive for the rest of us. Oh.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I think that coaches just kind of like a microcosm
of society for sure.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Christine Bulger is part of the team that teaches well
being fundamentals to America's Olympic and Para Olympic coaches. One
core principle, a principle that applies just as much as
it does to a high dive instructor or a volleyball
team manager, is that you need to find your purpose.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
We talk a lot about finding your true north, like
why do you coach? What's my why? And is it
to be the best in the world. That's okay, you
can be the best in the world while also be
a good person. You want to know why you're out there,
and it's not just to win all the time. It
goes back to self awareness. Are you in this for yourself?
For the athletes? And if the athlete needs a break
(21:25):
or other support, then I think we need to find
a way to do that. That's part of quality too, right,
Like they're not machines, they're people, and I think we
need to realize that even in the passion of competition,
sometimes you just need to take a break, and that's
got to be okay.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Another strategy that lay people can learn from coaches is
this important of delegating and asking for help, which, as
I know something that your organization has tried to work
with coaches on a lot more, you know, what's the
importance of delegation and what can kind of lay people
learn from what coaches have learned from doing this a
little bit more often.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I'm still learning how to delegate myself. I think you
can bring people in in a way that makes them
feel more valued if you give them a responsibility, and
that means a lot because we're developing people, not just
the athlete, but the team around you. So if I'm
a head coach keeping everything close to my vest and
not asking people to help me, that doesn't help anybody else,
and eventually the system's going to break down because you
(22:19):
just need that support system around you. So give people
an opportunity to show them what they can do. Give
them an opportunity to learn and maybe do it even
better than you would have done it yourself.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
In the last episode, we Harn't for a British long
distance runner, Georgia Bell. She was a great runner in
her teens, but later on in college she found that
the training regimen didn't really suit her. She was unhappy
and picked up injuries and her times got worse and worse.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I was perpetually injured in and out of boots because
I had stress fractures, and so that just translated to
not running as well on the track and not running
as fast.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I really wasn't enjoying it anymore.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
As the bottom line, it had gone from being something
that I really loved and looked forward to racing and
training to.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
I just kind of wait to be done with this.
Georgia left the sport and only got back into running
by accident when the COVID lockdown prompted her to dig
out her old track shoes again. She's now competing at
the Olympics thanks to a training program from a coach
who listens far more to her individual needs.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
He's just been a fantastic coach, emotional support and guidance
and yeah, I have full trust in him, and I
think that's one of the things that has led to
a lot of the success as well, and making a
lot more decisions over my body and racing and training
that I just felt like it didn't really have before,
And that means that I just feel a lot more
in control and enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
A team USA, Christine Bulger teaches the kind of sensitive
coaching that has helped Georgia so much. Christine thinks coaches,
like the rest of us, need to put themselves in
the shoes of the people around them so that we
can try to see their perspective.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Oh man, that goes back to having some self awareness,
because if your athlete is just off, or you go
in there and you're just in a bad mood, as
the coach and the athletes kind of feel it like
there's obviously something going on. You want to be able
to be there for your athlete to the best of
your ability. So if you're not connecting with them, if
you don't understand what each other is feeling or doing
or going through, you're not going to have as deep
(24:12):
an understanding of how to get the best out of
the athlete. They say, treat others as you would like
to be treated. The one lesson that I've learned is
that's not accurate treat others the way they'd like to
be treated, because we're all individuals, and I think that
that makes such a difference. You know, if I have
to tell somebody seven different times how to do something,
I'm clearly not articulating how I want them to do it.
(24:34):
And that's a me thing, it's not a them thing.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
If you watch the games this summer, you'll probably see
the metal ceremonies where elated sometimes tiary athletes have gold, silver,
and bronze hung around their necks. You'll also see the
leaderboards and medals tables, who's winning, who's ahead, and who's
falling behind. In elite sports, coming first seems to be
the only prize worth pursuing, but Christine is trying to
(24:57):
widen what's perceived as success. She encourages coaches and athletes
to feel a sense of accomplishment and gratitude for the
entire journey and not.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Justify the lap. For the athletes who participate in the
Olympic and Paralympic Games, this might be a once in
a lifetime. Usually it is a once in a lifetime opportunity,
and it could last thirty seconds or three hours. Right,
you might not have won that gold medal, you might
not have pit the podium, but looked at everything that
you accomplished, and even if it was a bunch of
hard work just to make the team, not everybody gets
(25:26):
to do that. I hope that the athletes realize what
a fantastic accomplishment it is for them to achieve, even
making the team and then going over to experience the games.
And I think we have to think about that in
our own lives. It's like, if you're the business person
and you're selected to go to a business meeting, that's
you reserved for the top one percent, Like that's an achievement.
And I think that we have to remember, you know,
(25:48):
give ourselves some credit for the work that we're doing,
because if you accomplish your goal or you don't, you're
working towards something with a team. You're probably making lifelong friends,
people who work in the trenches with you.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I love this idea, both celebrating your wins and also
celebrating the journey that led to those wins. That sounds
super important for everyday people to engage in it's.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Hard to do though, have to remember to do it right,
so so hard to do so so hard to do right.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Another kind of strategy that you talk about, which comes
up in coaching a lot, is this kind of give
and take between practice and playing. In some of your materials,
you've mentioned this idea of kind of going back and
forth between deliberate practice, which is what we often think
of as important for performance, but also play, which we
might not think of as that necessary. So talk about
the importance of play and what lay people might learn
(26:34):
from that from how coaches think about play and performance.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
You know, I used to teach swimming, and you know,
the most learning occurred after the lesson when they were
able to just play around with their friends. You know,
they take those chances, and I think that you can
see that at the Olympic and Paralympic level as well.
It has to be fun. You know, you're going to
do a skill or you know, an exercise thousands, if
(26:57):
not millions of times if you're an Olympic or Paralympic athlete,
and that can get really mundane. You know, you need
to put in the work to do it, and you
have to do other stuff so that you don't burn
out or like hurt yourself. But I think every time
you can give some control back to the athlete, just
so that they can say, hey, we're just going to
try this other thing. Just see what happens, and you
(27:18):
could discover some great things if you just give them
some freedom to play well.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I mean, I have whole episodes talking about, you know,
the fact that I needed to build more fun into
my life. But I think it's also something that we
can miss out on. Like in the work context. We
often think that fun happens in the context of leisure,
but I think we forget that, like our jobs should
be fun. We should be kind of messing around and
thinking creatively and kind of getting flow from the enjoyment
the intrinsic rewards that we get out of the jobs
(27:44):
that we have. But this is something that we forget
a lot. So any tips that come from coaching about
how to remember the fun and sort of get back
to it even when the pressures on.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Oh man, just the inspiration you hear the stories of
the athletes and the coaches you know at this level
of sport. And I'm a little biased because I grew
up in sport just loving it my entire life. So
I get a lot of inspiration from the people that
I work with the knowledge that's just around to try
to push human performance in a safe way, safe, respectable way,
(28:14):
and then just see what they can do. We had
an interview with a Bob Slid coach and athlete a
couple weeks ago, and you know, I swim on the side.
I'm old lady swimmer. I was joking, but I was like, man,
if I had the passion that you had, you know,
to do so well in the drive, I would have
had a much better swim.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
This morning, Christina and Emily are doing some really inspiring
work with the team USA coaches, and I'm humbled that
they're using the happiness science that they heard on this
show to push my nation's Olympic efforts to the next level.
I can't wait to see how all their advice winds
up playing out on the courts, pools, fields, tracks and
trampolines this summer in Paris.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
We've started the conversation the vulnerability it takes to admit
that you need some help. For many people, it's a lot,
but the ones that really are interested in improving are
going to seek the input so that they can be
their best for their athletes.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
The Happiness Lab will be taking a short summer break,
but we'll be back with a season exploring how we
can navigate a world in which argument, division, and anger
seems to be bubbling up everywhere. We'll look at evidence
showing that we aren't as polarized as we fear, and
we'll look at ways that we can come together and
act cooperatively and civilly. All that next time on the
Happiness Lab with me Doctor Laurie Santos
Pushkin, Pushkin. This summer, Pushkin is going to the Olympics.
(00:36):
Shows across the network have got all sorts of stories
to share, including the latest on sports Science and What's
Your Problem, a suite of swimmers on slight change of plans,
a cautionary tales tale of how women had to literally
fight to be allowed to run the marathon, and an
epic season of revisionist history about why in nineteen thirty six,
America participated in Hitler's Olympics. Here on the Happiness Lab,
(01:00):
we've already spoken to an athlete who fell back in
love with the sport she'd grown to hate, just in
time to head off to the Paris Olympics. But we're
not just interested in sporting stars. To get to the games,
every athlete needs the help and advice of someone who
shares their passion and commitment a coach.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Oh man, this is such a special occasion for me.
I've been a big span.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
It's always humbling to hear that someone is a fan.
But I was absolutely over the moon when I found
out how much this guest liked the show.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
I found your podcast and it resonated so much with
me that we were sharing episodes of the Happiness Lab
with the coaches we were working.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
With, because this expert doesn't just work with any old coaches.
We put these episodes out there, but we don't really
know who is listening to them. And to find out
that someone who is actually working in behavioral science with
Team USA, who would be like our affecting our Olympias
at our paralympiads like this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You've got many more listeners now from Team USA because
of the work that you've been doing.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Christine Bulger is the Associate Director for Coaching at the
United States Olympic and Para Olympic Committee, helping to train
some of the finest athletic trainers on the planet.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
We certainly do have some of the best coaches in
the world who are at the top of their game,
who have been there for decades in some cases and
crank out either fantastically gifted performing athletes or teams or both. Sometimes.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Christine works with trainers across so many sports, archerie badmint
and baseball, boxing, bob sled, cricket, curling, diving, fencing, golf, gymnastics, judosurfing, swimming, weightlifting,
wheelchair basketball, wrestling, and even yachting.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Coaching's coaching regardless of if you're coaching cycling or swimming
or some snowsport. But what we try to do is
cultivate the skills and information that cut across as many
sports as possible. Leadership, communication, care planning, just the things
that will resonate with every coach. And it can look
different in different contexts in different sports, but those are
(02:53):
the pieces that we as USOBC grab onto.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I was shocked at how new this kind of coaching
education is. The US Olympic Committee was founded way back
in eighteen ninety four, but the group only got around
to publishing its Quality Coaching Framework in twenty seventeen. Unlike
say school team, most US coaches, even at the Olympic level,
don't receive special instruction on how to coach.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
There's no requirements for coaches to go through any specific
type of training. For the most part, we now do
safe Sport to ensure that they do background checks and
things like that, and I think first DAID and CPR
tend to be pretty standard now. But really anybody can
go out there and coach, so I think that there
is a big risk without the proper education and training
and we say that so often that coaching isn't about
(03:36):
sport necessarily as much as it is about working with people.
And I think that that is part of what we're
trying to help the coaches understand. If they're overtraining, if
they're not listening to the athlete saying hey, I feel awe,
they really have to have all their senses up so
that they're able to know when to push no, when
to pull back, no, when to change things, no, when
(03:58):
to take a day off, no, when to get out
of the training facility and just try to learn and
get better in a different context. Yeah, it's just it's
so much self awareness and being totally in tune with
the people you're working with and listening to feedback from
the athletes from your coaching staff.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
But Christian's goal isn't just to improve the experience of
the athletes. She's also concerned about the well being of
the coaches themselves, which thus far has been pretty neglected.
It's far from being an easy or a secure job.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
We have some coaches that rely on athletes to secure
an income, where if they don't have the athletes, they
don't put food on the table. There could be some
that don't have that proper health care individually, and if
their spouse doesn't have what they need, then you know,
they're kind of just like growing day to day hoping
that I don't get sick.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
What are the kind of mental health challenges that coaches
go through all the time.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Yeah, certainly the pressure to win at the elite level.
If you're not winning across pro sports, across TMOSA, then
you're probably not going to keep your job for very long.
So that in itself is enough of a stressor to
put just so much pressure on yourself that all you're
focused on is working, doing more, staying up watching tapes,
you know, skipping meals because that gives you another opportunity
fifteen to sixty minutes to do more work and put
(05:12):
it in there. So after a while, that takes a toll.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
And what are some of the strains that coaches face
when it comes to their own personal relationships and their
family ties.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Oh boy, we worked with a coach who was on
tour for a winter sport that you know, was gone
for two hundred days a year, that had young kids,
you know, and that leaves their spouse home to take
care of everything on their own. So there's the guilt
factor too. You're missing your spouse, you're missing your kids,
you're missing your pets. They're so selfless most of the
time that all they're thinking about are the athletes in
(05:42):
front of them, and how can I help my athletes
get better.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
It seems like another challenge that coaches face is that
they're kind of the ones that are in some ways
in charge of the performance, but they don't get to
do it themselves. I know, as a faculty member, I've
felt this that, like when I have to give my
own talks, you know, that's nerve wracking and I get
a little bit anxious about it. But when my student
is giving a talk, I'm so much more anxious. And
I feel like my students who are giving talks are
just like giving a talk at some random conference. They're
(06:06):
not like competing for a gold medal in front of
millions of people. And so, you know, is this a
particular challenge that coaches face.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Oh, they're no different than you and your students. They
lose control, especially those that competed as athletes themselves. They're like,
I can't do anything. I'm just on the sidelines. I
hope that all the preparation works and they do what
they need to do, and if it doesn't, I'm gonna,
you know, just tear my hair out. But you can
only do so much and then it's out of your control.
Like prepare them as well as you can, as best
you can, and hope for the best. And I think
(06:35):
that with social media, of course, that's going to come
up in anything. You know, you lose a game or
you do something wrong, even if it's one player, like
that person should be fired because that was just a
horrible situation, Like how can they possibly be considered a
good coach? So I think the pressures are compounded, certainly
by social media. I think that that takes a pretty
special person to try to manage that and keep the
(06:57):
level head when people are just at you all the time.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It seems self evident that sports coaching, particularly at the
elite level, is a stressful business. But as a teacher myself,
I know that those of us went stry or others
often think that we should be the ones with all
the answers. One of the saddest ironies, says Team usa
is New Guidelines, is that although coaches strive to provide
an enjoyable and healthy experience for their athletes. Too often
(07:21):
they approach their job in a manner that has the
opposite effect on their own well being. Christine says that
for that to change, coaches need to be okay with
asking for help.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
So what we want them to do is be able
to take better care of themselves ahead of time. That
takes some vulnerability. We're trying to encourage coaches to make
sure that they have somebody they're talking to that can
relate to them. Might not be their same sport, might
not be even in sport, but somebody that they can
seek and trust and get some input into anything that
(07:51):
they might be going through. And coaches, they aren't typically
used to receiving feedback. They're used to giving feedback. So
it takes a level of vulnerability for sure. We have
to kind of help them understand that it's okay to
ask for help, that it's okay to take a break
every once in a while.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
I was talking to the GIRs for weightlifting coaches actually
last night. Emily Lasanby also coaches the Hard Pressed Team
USA coaches. There is a single mom of two young kids,
and she's got one hundred athletes and she starts at
four in the morning, and she goes until six pm
at night, and at night she's got some time with
(08:29):
her kids, and then she starts all over again because
I don't have time for myself. I mean, that's a
luxury and a privilege to me that I don't think
I'm going to have in this phase of life for
quite some time.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Emily's work involves taking the kind of well being lessons
you hear on the show and tailoring them to the
needs of people just like that time starved weightlifting coach,
so that they don't burn out or just quit the
profession completely.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Coaching is a field in an industry that has no net.
There's no union, there's no government agency or anything there
to support a coach when a performance doesn't happen from
their athlete or from their team. It's very black and white.
If they perform, then there's a high likelihood that the
(09:14):
coach continues on in their role. And if the athlete
isn't performing, then there's also the likelihood of not continuing.
And so I think that there is a lot of
pressure around not having that support net available to them,
and it just adds to the entire pressure of having
to stay optimized in a field.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
It's a tough industry to commit to and be part
of long term. As a happiness scientist, I was really
impressed reading the well being guidance Emily helped design. It
specifically addresses the exact kind of stressors that coaches endure
in their high performance job.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
You're spending your days basically filling everybody else's bucket, right,
Everyone's needing you all the time. So to find the
space to actually recover and experience deep breast is a
very rare thing. So most of our coaches are operating
either at an acute or chronic stress stage for as
(10:11):
long as they possibly can. What are some strategies that
coaches can use to kind of handle stress better. One
of the first things that we haven't look at is
is it enhancing?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Right?
Speaker 3 (10:20):
Many of us look at stress in terms of like,
it's so bad, right, But if we're able to see
stress as enhancing, I actually may be able to utilize
this in a way and help me adapt and persist
through what it is that I am facing right now,
this particular challenge, and actually grow from it and maybe
come out stronger from that adaptation. So I think it's
(10:44):
sort of looking at what is this stress actually looking
like in my life, and how do I need to
approach it differently.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Another strategy I know you've talked about in a lot
of your materials is the importance of social connection. In
one of the articles I read from your group, you
had talked about filling your network with energy givers. You
know what are energy givers and why can that be
so important for helping you to manage stress?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
It's looking at who are the people that bring me
the most joy? That may not be like completely filling
up this battery that's depleted right now, but you know,
who are the ones that I can count on that
I know when I speak with and spend time with
that they're there for me and show up for me
in a way to where I walk away feeling energized.
(11:31):
So it's surrounding yourself with the people that I think
create the most energy, particularly during the harder phases of life,
and maybe setting boundaries around those that tend to take away.
We know that we're going to have to give a
certain amount each day, so how is it that we
can plan to offset that with those people that really
(11:52):
boost us.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
When we need it. I think this is such a
fabulous suggestion, because it's not just the idea that we
talk about a lot in the podcast of kind of
making sure you're getting social connection, but really kind of
paying attention to the particular people you seek out and
making sure those people are kind of the ones that
are feeding you rather than depleting you over time. Another
thing you talk a lot about is the importance of
coaches getting daily physical activity, which felt a little bit
(12:15):
ironic for me because in my brain, you know, these
elite coaches are so focused on like exercise and weight
training and so on, but it kind of sounds like
that in their own lives these things may fall by
the wayside in ways that I didn't expect, And so
what are some of the important benefits of exercise and
how do you get these busy coaches to get more
of that kind of movement in their lives. So it's funny.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
So on my call last night with the weightlifting coaches,
the majority of them their biggest struggle is movement. Some
are like the stuff that I'm teaching every day, it's
actually not unsurprising. That's like, just adding more of that
to their day feels like more, and we want it
to feel like less right, So it's figuring out I
(12:56):
think utilizing movement as a way to help set a
rhythm and a tone for the day. So it's less
about being as fit as you possibly could be.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
If that's your goal, great, but it's more about.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Utilizing movement as an asset to help you feel good,
to help fuel your body and your brain to meet
the challenges of the day, but then also feel good
doing it right. And a lot of what we are
exploring with coaches right now is looking at how they move,
how they like to incorporate that into their day, when
(13:33):
they like to do it, and how they utilize it
as an asset for themselves rather than something that they
feel like they have to do in order to reach
some type of fitness goal.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Another physical activity you talk about with coaches is the
power of sleep. Why is sleep so essential and what
are some of the strategies that you've suggested coaches engage
with to make sure they're kind of protecting their shut eye.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Yeah, that's the number one for us, I'd say out
of everything, nutrition, movement, stress, resilience. I mean, all of
them are significant in their own ways, but as we know,
the other stuff doesn't really go as well if we're
not getting sleep. The interesting thing when it comes to
the Olympic and Paralympic environment is that their sleep is
(14:19):
a regular all the time. So do you have routines
set in place that can help you reset after a
bad night of sleep when sleep pressure has build to
the point where you are not falling asleep when.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You want to, or there's jet lag, or you're waking
up in the night.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
So we teach that skill of all right, here's where
I'm at today, here's what I can do, and all
of that is okay, and it's still going to be
the best I can give. And here's how I'm going
to reset tonight. And so it's creating that ability to reset.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Rather than set, Like, what are some of the things
you suggest for coaches who need to figure out a
way to reset better? I love Matt Walker's approach to sleep,
like approaching sleep as if you were landing a plane.
So we often approach it as if it's like a
light switch, where it's just all right, I'm going to
lay down and I got to sleep with in thirty seconds,
whereas our body and our brain needs that time to
(15:14):
take the sleep pressure that we've built that day to
then get it into a place where we're falling into sleep,
and that can take some time.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
And I love that approach in terms of figuring out
what that time looks like for you, whether it's thirty
minutes or sixty minutes or two hours, you know, whatever
it is that you tend to do, you know, warm
showers at night, dark room, cool room, no screens, that
kind of thing, or putting the screen on the opposite
side of the bedroom so that you don't reach and
(15:44):
grab it in the middle of the night and you
look up and there.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Everything is waiting for you.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
I think all of those have been really wonderful critical
experiments for us all to play around with to see,
all right, what is it that really works for me.
One of the challenges for coaches in terms of protecting
their well being and sort of maintaining self care is
that they're kind of in this mode of wanting to
do it perfectly. They want to, like, you know, have
the perfect sleep and the perfect nutrition and the perfect exercise.
(16:12):
But you're talking about these tiny tips that allow you
to do these sort of things a little bit imperfectly
but continuously, and so explain why these small additions of
self care can add up over time in these important ways,
like why is that so essential to remember that even
the kind of imperfect attempts at getting some more self
care can be really critical because I think that's life, right,
(16:33):
and I think it's a really wonderful way to look
at it in terms of, all, right, I have some
agency here to really experiment with.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Here's what I know.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
What works with me when stuff's hit the fan, right,
And you know, here's I know what works for me
when I have a little bit more time to myself
to recover. It's adapting between you know, your resource pool
and the challenges that you face every single day. And
it's the seesaw back and forth of I'm facing this challenge,
so what do I need to do to offset that.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
I think one of the problems with self care is
you feel like it has to be one hundred percent.
I mean, I know, I go through this in my
own way. You know, I'll be like, you know, this
is the week that I'm going to get to the gym,
and you know, Monday, I'll get to the gym, and
then Tuesday miss out. I was like, well, I've already
messed up, right, But It's like, no, just one day
at the gym is better than zero days at the gym.
Twenty minutes of extra good sleep is better than zero
minutes of extra good sleep. We sometimes think this has
(17:24):
to be all or none, and I imagine that in
high performance individuals like coaches, that's even worse.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
I think it comes down to the ability to look
at what you're leveraging that day as optimal. Right, So,
all right, I got four hours of sleep last night.
I've got ten athletes that I need to coach today,
or I have a ten hour day that I need
to get through. I'm at about thirty percent. But here's
how I'm going to, you know, maximize this twenty five
(17:51):
thirty percent to get through this day the best way
that I can. To me, that's high performance. It may
not be perfect, but it's excellence. And I think that's
the difference, right, is we're not striving for perfection, we're
striving for excellence and using the thirty percent that you
have that day. To me, that's excellence and kind of
(18:13):
recognizing that you're at thirty percent. And it strikes me
this is another strategy that you work with coaches on
a lot, which is just overcoming the stigma of not
being perfect, like overcoming the stigma of recognizing that you're
at thirty percent and you might need to ask for
help or you might need to take a break. Why
is calling a spade a spait and really recognizing where
you're at so important? And what are some strategies we
(18:34):
can use to kind of combat that sense that it
can be sometimes hard to admit when you're struggling. I
think the instinct is to avoid, right to just grind
it out, get it done. So I think right now,
well being can be tied to unrealistic optimism in a
lot of ways, where we feel like perfection is part
of that, but the realistic part of that is that
(18:56):
you know, this is actually what I can do today,
This is all I can do, and that's still a lot,
and it's.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Okay, and that's great.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
I really like the strategy because I think it's something
that all of us can use right now. You know,
we might not be Olympic coaches heading off to Paris,
but I think all of us have times at work
when things are a little bit busier, maybe times in
the school year where you know, as a parent things
feel more hectic. It sounds like the strategy is really
like radical acceptance, kind of look at what things really
are like and to ask the question, Okay, what am
(19:26):
I going to be capable of? How can I build
in self care?
Speaker 1 (19:28):
But maybe in a way that's more compassionate, maybe not
beating myself up for not, I don't know, making the
healthiest meals during the busiest time or keeping the house
perfectly clean during the busiest time. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Absolutely, here's the extent of what I can do here,
and I'm okay with that right and accepting it for
what it is and maybe labeling that as great performance.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Of course, all these lessons aren't just vital for coaches.
They apply equally well to ordinary folks like you and me.
None of us can expect to turn in our personal
best each and every day. Sometimes eighty percent might be
the best week in muster under the circumstances, and that's okay.
So what else can we all learn from the high
pressure world of Olympic sports? The Happiness Lab will be
(20:13):
back in a moment. You might not think you have
that much in common with a Team USA coach. They
can put their own lives on hold for years, endlessly traveling,
missing family events, clogging long hours, all to help an
athlete who might pull a muscle, drop a relay baton,
(20:36):
or get a cold come race day. It's hard to
think of a more stressful and unforgiving job, but their
lives can be really instructive for the rest of us. Oh.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I think that coaches just kind of like a microcosm
of society for sure.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Christine Bulger is part of the team that teaches well
being fundamentals to America's Olympic and Para Olympic coaches. One
core principle, a principle that applies just as much as
it does to a high dive instructor or a volleyball
team manager, is that you need to find your purpose.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
We talk a lot about finding your true north, like
why do you coach? What's my why? And is it
to be the best in the world. That's okay, you
can be the best in the world while also be
a good person. You want to know why you're out there,
and it's not just to win all the time. It
goes back to self awareness. Are you in this for yourself?
For the athletes? And if the athlete needs a break
(21:25):
or other support, then I think we need to find
a way to do that. That's part of quality too, right,
Like they're not machines, they're people, and I think we
need to realize that even in the passion of competition,
sometimes you just need to take a break, and that's
got to be okay.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Another strategy that lay people can learn from coaches is
this important of delegating and asking for help, which, as
I know something that your organization has tried to work
with coaches on a lot more, you know, what's the
importance of delegation and what can kind of lay people
learn from what coaches have learned from doing this a
little bit more often.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
I'm still learning how to delegate myself. I think you
can bring people in in a way that makes them
feel more valued if you give them a responsibility, and
that means a lot because we're developing people, not just
the athlete, but the team around you. So if I'm
a head coach keeping everything close to my vest and
not asking people to help me, that doesn't help anybody else,
and eventually the system's going to break down because you
(22:19):
just need that support system around you. So give people
an opportunity to show them what they can do. Give
them an opportunity to learn and maybe do it even
better than you would have done it yourself.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
In the last episode, we Harn't for a British long
distance runner, Georgia Bell. She was a great runner in
her teens, but later on in college she found that
the training regimen didn't really suit her. She was unhappy
and picked up injuries and her times got worse and worse.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
I was perpetually injured in and out of boots because
I had stress fractures, and so that just translated to
not running as well on the track and not running
as fast.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I really wasn't enjoying it anymore.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
As the bottom line, it had gone from being something
that I really loved and looked forward to racing and
training to.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
I just kind of wait to be done with this.
Georgia left the sport and only got back into running
by accident when the COVID lockdown prompted her to dig
out her old track shoes again. She's now competing at
the Olympics thanks to a training program from a coach
who listens far more to her individual needs.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
He's just been a fantastic coach, emotional support and guidance
and yeah, I have full trust in him, and I
think that's one of the things that has led to
a lot of the success as well, and making a
lot more decisions over my body and racing and training
that I just felt like it didn't really have before,
And that means that I just feel a lot more
in control and enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
A team USA, Christine Bulger teaches the kind of sensitive
coaching that has helped Georgia so much. Christine thinks coaches,
like the rest of us, need to put themselves in
the shoes of the people around them so that we
can try to see their perspective.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Oh man, that goes back to having some self awareness,
because if your athlete is just off, or you go
in there and you're just in a bad mood, as
the coach and the athletes kind of feel it like
there's obviously something going on. You want to be able
to be there for your athlete to the best of
your ability. So if you're not connecting with them, if
you don't understand what each other is feeling or doing
or going through, you're not going to have as deep
(24:12):
an understanding of how to get the best out of
the athlete. They say, treat others as you would like
to be treated. The one lesson that I've learned is
that's not accurate treat others the way they'd like to
be treated, because we're all individuals, and I think that
that makes such a difference. You know, if I have
to tell somebody seven different times how to do something,
I'm clearly not articulating how I want them to do it.
(24:34):
And that's a me thing, it's not a them thing.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
If you watch the games this summer, you'll probably see
the metal ceremonies where elated sometimes tiary athletes have gold, silver,
and bronze hung around their necks. You'll also see the
leaderboards and medals tables, who's winning, who's ahead, and who's
falling behind. In elite sports, coming first seems to be
the only prize worth pursuing, but Christine is trying to
(24:57):
widen what's perceived as success. She encourages coaches and athletes
to feel a sense of accomplishment and gratitude for the
entire journey and not.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Justify the lap. For the athletes who participate in the
Olympic and Paralympic Games, this might be a once in
a lifetime. Usually it is a once in a lifetime opportunity,
and it could last thirty seconds or three hours. Right,
you might not have won that gold medal, you might
not have pit the podium, but looked at everything that
you accomplished, and even if it was a bunch of
hard work just to make the team, not everybody gets
(25:26):
to do that. I hope that the athletes realize what
a fantastic accomplishment it is for them to achieve, even
making the team and then going over to experience the games.
And I think we have to think about that in
our own lives. It's like, if you're the business person
and you're selected to go to a business meeting, that's
you reserved for the top one percent, Like that's an achievement.
And I think that we have to remember, you know,
(25:48):
give ourselves some credit for the work that we're doing,
because if you accomplish your goal or you don't, you're
working towards something with a team. You're probably making lifelong friends,
people who work in the trenches with you.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I love this idea, both celebrating your wins and also
celebrating the journey that led to those wins. That sounds
super important for everyday people to engage in it's.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Hard to do though, have to remember to do it right,
so so hard to do so so hard to do right.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Another kind of strategy that you talk about, which comes
up in coaching a lot, is this kind of give
and take between practice and playing. In some of your materials,
you've mentioned this idea of kind of going back and
forth between deliberate practice, which is what we often think
of as important for performance, but also play, which we
might not think of as that necessary. So talk about
the importance of play and what lay people might learn
(26:34):
from that from how coaches think about play and performance.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
You know, I used to teach swimming, and you know,
the most learning occurred after the lesson when they were
able to just play around with their friends. You know,
they take those chances, and I think that you can
see that at the Olympic and Paralympic level as well.
It has to be fun. You know, you're going to
do a skill or you know, an exercise thousands, if
(26:57):
not millions of times if you're an Olympic or Paralympic athlete,
and that can get really mundane. You know, you need
to put in the work to do it, and you
have to do other stuff so that you don't burn
out or like hurt yourself. But I think every time
you can give some control back to the athlete, just
so that they can say, hey, we're just going to
try this other thing. Just see what happens, and you
(27:18):
could discover some great things if you just give them
some freedom to play well.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
I mean, I have whole episodes talking about, you know,
the fact that I needed to build more fun into
my life. But I think it's also something that we
can miss out on. Like in the work context. We
often think that fun happens in the context of leisure,
but I think we forget that, like our jobs should
be fun. We should be kind of messing around and
thinking creatively and kind of getting flow from the enjoyment
the intrinsic rewards that we get out of the jobs
(27:44):
that we have. But this is something that we forget
a lot. So any tips that come from coaching about
how to remember the fun and sort of get back
to it even when the pressures on.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Oh man, just the inspiration you hear the stories of
the athletes and the coaches you know at this level
of sport. And I'm a little biased because I grew
up in sport just loving it my entire life. So
I get a lot of inspiration from the people that
I work with the knowledge that's just around to try
to push human performance in a safe way, safe, respectable way,
(28:14):
and then just see what they can do. We had
an interview with a Bob Slid coach and athlete a
couple weeks ago, and you know, I swim on the side.
I'm old lady swimmer. I was joking, but I was like, man,
if I had the passion that you had, you know,
to do so well in the drive, I would have
had a much better swim.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
This morning, Christina and Emily are doing some really inspiring
work with the team USA coaches, and I'm humbled that
they're using the happiness science that they heard on this
show to push my nation's Olympic efforts to the next level.
I can't wait to see how all their advice winds
up playing out on the courts, pools, fields, tracks and
trampolines this summer in Paris.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
We've started the conversation the vulnerability it takes to admit
that you need some help. For many people, it's a lot,
but the ones that really are interested in improving are
going to seek the input so that they can be
their best for their athletes.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
The Happiness Lab will be taking a short summer break,
but we'll be back with a season exploring how we
can navigate a world in which argument, division, and anger
seems to be bubbling up everywhere. We'll look at evidence
showing that we aren't as polarized as we fear, and
we'll look at ways that we can come together and
act cooperatively and civilly. All that next time on the
Happiness Lab with me Doctor Laurie Santos
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