February 22, 2023 • 39 mins
Here's a bonus episode of a new show from Pushkin, Other People's Pockets.
Have you ever wondered how your friend bought that vacation home or why that colleague of yours makes everyone meticulously split the tab down to the last Diet Coke? Other People's Pockets is a show about other people’s money. Host Maya Lau asks people from all walks of life to get radically transparent about their personal finances in order to learn more about who we are and level the playing field a little bit along the way.
In this episode, Maya sits down with Mistress Marley, a financial dominatrix who makes money from people whose kink is simply giving her lots of cash, without being physically touched in return. Hear more from Other People's Pockets at https://podcasts.pushkin.fm/opp?sid=wyp.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Pushkin. I'm Jacob Goldstein and this is a special bonus
episode of What's Your Problem. My guest today is my
allow host of a new podcast called Other People's Pockets.
Opp to those who love it, Hi, Maya, good morning. Hey,
nice to talk to you. So you got a new show?
(00:37):
Give me give me the show? In like one sense,
what is other People's Pockets? Other People's Pockets is a
show where I interview people about money. I asked them
how much money they make, how they feel about that,
how they got there, and any you know, tips and
tricks we can learn along the way of their money journey.
You kind of jumped over it, but I love the
asking them how much money they make, right, I feel
(00:58):
like a lot of those other things. I was sure
I've heard tips and tricks, But how much money do
you make? Is a great question. Yeah, it's kind of
the quiet part out loud. It's the thing we all wonder.
I think there's a reason why we all want to
look at zillo and look inside other people's homes. I
think we also want to look inside other people's finances
because there's a lot that's communicated with just knowing the number.
(01:22):
I love it so I've heard a few of the
first episodes that you've been working on, and there's one
that I found particularly interesting that I want to play today,
and it's an interview you did with a financial dominate trix.
So just briefly, what is a financial dominaterix. Some people
have a kink where the kink itself is to give
(01:44):
away money, and there's like this loss of power and
that's their kink. And so the financial dominatrix makes money
by people just wanting to send the money. Often there's
nothing sexual, there's nothing physical that happens. That's how they
make money. Amazing. So I like this interview you did
with this financial dominatrix, this fin Doom for a few reasons,
(02:04):
Like one, she actually talks about how much money she makes,
and like the different sort of revenue channel she has,
So just the straight up how much do you make?
Is there? And then also you kind of get this
meta thing about money, which is why would people want
to pay her to take their money or whatever to
give her money. So let's just get to it now.
Congratulations on your new show, Other People's Pocket. Thank you
(02:25):
so much, Jacob. Let's listen to the episode, Well Mistress Marley,
thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm
so excited to have you here. Thank you for having me.
Can you explain what is financial domination and how did
(02:51):
it become one of your specialties? So basically, financial domination
is a practice within the BDSM and kink world. It's
the psychological kink that involves a sub giving the dominant
party money, whether we call it a tribute, gifts or whatever,
but the sub basically gets off by giving themselves to
the dominatrix or the dom financially. Wow. And I mean
(03:15):
when you explain it, and I think the more that
I've heard about it, I think a lot of people
kind of consider it basically a dream job to kind
of just exist and ask for people to give you
money and they just give it to you. Yeah, yeah,
I get that a lot. Everyone's always like is this real?
When I first came into it, I didn't think it
(03:36):
was real until it started happening and I was like, Oh,
it's real. And so I'm wondering if you can kind
of explain more. I mean, as I understand it, you know,
you have an online presence, people can see pictures and
videos of you. You ask for tributes sometimes, but you
also sometimes meet people, these being your your subs or
(04:01):
your financial submissives in person, right, and sometimes do things
like take them to an ATM. Yes, yeah, can you
talk more about what that looks like. Yeah. So you'll
have some subs that want to meet you in person,
and we call them fin subs or financial subs. But
then for the most part, financial domination is online. But
for those subs that want to meet you, they want
(04:22):
to do something that we call a cash meet, and
that's when you are meeting the sub at ATM, you know,
requesting a certain amount of money they should take out,
and they hand it to you and either you can
humiliate them, you can walk away any type of embarrassment
that they might ask, whatever it is, it's all consensual.
But there are some in person meetups in this field,
not always necessary or not always required, but I think
(04:43):
they're the most fun because it's like, not only are
you giving me your money, but you're doing it in
public and I get to humiliate you after I get
the money. So to me, that's like something I just
love to do. I'm so like impressed by I think
I would have so much stage fright and like I'm
impressed that, like you can just go with it and
like turn on this side of you, Like do you
(05:06):
ever have a moment where you're like, I don't know
if I can do this or are you just totally
in it? Oh my gosh. Yes. So when I first
started out, it was like hard for me to really
get in the mode of knowing, like I'm going to
humiliate someone because I'm from the South, so I have
the sweet southern built thing, like I've always been just
a sweetheart, I think so, and my first ever cashed me.
I was very very nervous. I'm like, what do I
(05:28):
say to them? Like what if there becomes a time
where I paused or don't know what to say and
we're just awkwardly standing there or whatever. But I got
into the mode of getting better at it by like
when I saw the subs, I would imagine somebody I
really really hate it, especially a man or someone that's
done me wrong in the past, and it was just
easier in that way. And then when I realized like,
(05:49):
not only was I humiliating them and doing something that
made me feel good, then being humiliated with something that
made them feel really good. So I was fulfilling something
inside of them while doing something I had to learn
how to do and learn how to come into. So
it's something that yes, I was intimidated at first, and
a lot of people are intimidated at first when they
think about it. But it's one of those things that
once you say that first word of humiliation, you just
(06:11):
keep going and you can't stop. So it's like you
get better at it. Yeah, you just have to tap
into that part of you exactly. So, how how much
money do you make doing this? Oh? Wow? It depends,
so like a tribute could range from fifty dollars to
a thousand dollars, and a tribute it's really just what
a sub gives you to have conversation with you or
(06:33):
to have access to you. So that doesn't mean like
you have to send back any photos or videos or
even have a session with them. A tribute is simply
for appreciation, So those can range from fifty dollars to
a thousand dollars. And then you get deeper into it
when you have cash meets, because not only are you
going to the cash meeting requesting they take out like
a thousand out the ATM, but you're also getting a
deposit before that meetup to secure the meetup, and then
(06:56):
when you get into sessions, it gets even deeper because
then it's per hour. So like there's been times where
I've had sessions because, like I said, I'm a pro
dominatric too, so I do the typical dom things of
like whipping and you know, foot worship and all those things.
So once you get into that, it can be upward
of nine hundred hour, thousand an hour, whatever it may be.
But I've gotten to the point where me being a
(07:18):
financial dominatrix has done so well for me that I
was able to quit my nine to five last year
last January. Wow, congratulations, thank you, thank you. How much
money were you making your previous job. It was really
just an entry level like forty five K a year
type salary, so you know, it was enough to get
(07:38):
by and live in New York with roommates and things
of that nature. But it was definitely not something I
was happy in. It was something where even on my
lunch break, I was going to see subs on ATM
meet up while I was like working exactly exactly, or
I'd be on my laptop, like you know, putting out
ads or doing little things or editing pictures or whatever.
(07:59):
So I always was just like ready to leave that
job or whatever. So yeah, it wasn't it wasn't what
I needed. And I mean, you have a master's degree
in fashion marketing, so I imagine that that's helped you
in your line of work now in terms of marketing, Like,
can you talk about like what that degree has helped
(08:19):
you with? Yeah, for sure. So, like my bachelor's degree
was in fashion design, and then I moved to New
York to learn more about the business of fashion. So
I got my master's degree in fashion marketing, and that's
helped me learn my niche market That's helped me learn
like how to advertise pictures, what time of the day
to advertise, who to advertise too. Even if I'm just
(08:39):
having classes for other people that want to learn how
to be doms is setting a price for that and
what I offer with that. I mean I even throw events,
so I throw brunches for women that want to learn
how to do this stuff. So it's me being able
to do all this marketing. And my friends always call
me a marketing beast, like they can't understand how I'm
like always going, going, going, it's like, because you know,
(09:00):
in my corporate world, when I was working in corporate,
that's something I just had to do in a daily
So why not incorporated into what I'm doing now? Right?
You know a lot of your clients, I think you've
mentioned our CEOs, there are Wall Street types. They're high
powered men in high powered jobs. Do you get a
sense from them about why exactly they're interested in giving
(09:22):
away their money and also in being dominated? I think
for them it's the lack of power that they're having
with me. So they're so used to being in charge.
Like you said, they're CEOs and things of that nature,
so they're so used to being in charge and calling
the shots and this and that. But when they come
to me, none of that exists. It's all about me.
(09:42):
I call the shots, I make the schedule. I tell
you when you need to be bowing to me or
giving to me or sending to me. And for them
it's just like, wow, I'm really being told something by
someone that a is not only younger than me, but
someone that is very dominant and I might not be
used to this. So I think they get off to
just have from that lack of control, Like, oh, I
can't control what's going on right now. I can't tell
(10:04):
them that they need to shut up and listen to me,
Like I have to shut up and listen to them.
And what about when it's just them sending you money
and like there's no real back and forth, but it's
just money appears in your account, Like what what's side about?
Do you think? Oh, that's even better? And actually if they,
if more of them could send me money and not
say anything to me, oh life will be made. But
(10:26):
we get a lot of silent senders and financial domination.
Those are people that send money you don't know where
it came from. They'll never tell you like oh I
sent or whatever. I had once cup that was doing
that for a long time. Now I realized who he
was and I'll you know, I entered his DM, like
you know, because he had been a long time sender,
and I was like, what are your fetishes? What are
your kink? And he was literally just like I'm not
into any of that. I just want to send you
(10:46):
money or whatever, and I would just like to keep
it like silent. I was like perfect, Like that's perfect
for me, But I think for a lot of them
is to them, I guess it gives them a thrill
of knowing, like, oh my god, I just sent money
to a stranger on the other side of the world
and I'm never going to see them and they don't
have to talk to me, but I sent it and
it's out of my wallet. Like I think for them,
it's the thought of if I told someone this, they
would look at me like I was crazy, you know.
(11:07):
So it's it's different things that, you know make them
feel great or fulfilled. You mentioned like you have this
(11:31):
whole business and I'm curious more about your business model,
like you have a segment where you do financial domination.
You also do in person dominate tricks like what people
classically think of dominate tricks set up being you have
these brunches. You mentioned you have classes, Like can you
(11:52):
tell us kind of how it all breaks out, Like
what do you make the most money off of? What
do you make the least money off of? I would
have to say that I make the most money off
of my in person sessions and my online courses because
everyone wants to do everything online. Yes, I still have
successful in person events, but there's an online option. Of course,
everyone's going to take it just to be safe. I
(12:15):
will say I make a good amount of money with
my in person events and things of that nature, but
it just takes so much to put those together, like
you know, finding a venue, getting caterers, getting decorations, all
those different types of things. So it's just like I
try to make myself accessible in different ways because I
realize that what I'm doing is something that a lot
(12:36):
of people are curious about but are scared to jump into.
So of course, you might not have those people that
can show face at a public event like this because
at my brunches, I have subs there and we actually
like practice on them and things of that nature. But
you might have people that work in nine to five
jobs where they might be like, Okay, I don't want
to be seen in public at an event like this.
But that's why I offer the online events because they can,
(12:57):
you know, have the freedom to be online and learn
and not really have to show their face or be
out in the public. Right Well, I mean along those lines,
like I kind of wanted to ask you, sex work
is this thing that we go with glamorize and at
the same time society kind of doesn't know what to
do with And I'm wondering, like, what are some of
the pitfalls of this career choice for you. I think
(13:19):
some of the pitfalls is like the constant judgment stereotypes,
having to really explain your work, and having to explain
that sex work is work, even when people just when
I'm out at the bars or clubs, you know, the
typical conversations like what do you do for work or whatever, like,
and I'm someone that's always been so sture myself that
I'm not gonna hide what I do, but I'll tell
them I'm a dominatrix, and it's just right away, it's oh,
(13:41):
that's crazy, that's weird, like or like, oh, you're not
gonna beat me right now. I'm like okay, Like why
would I start beating you at the bar? Like yeah.
But it's getting those stereotypes. It's like having to really
explain yourself, and you know, having to realize that our
job isn't normal jobs, as much as we try to
normalize it. Yes, like we can say that it's normal
(14:03):
for us, but for other people will never be perceived
as that. So it's just always having to find where
we fit in or just feel like we're really fighting
to just be heard. You know, right, yeah, And I
mean it feels like you're like you've done a lot
of thinking and planning in terms of keeping your personal
life separate and also just in preparing to even get
in this industry exactly. So you mentioned how much tributes
(14:29):
could be. I mean, can you can you give us
a sense? I notice on Twitter you recently posted you
out of total sales of one hundred five thousand dollars
to date and we're in October this year. Can you
say like kind of what the total for the year
might be like of all the things you do? So
(14:51):
the sales I posted on Twitter just today are sales
from like my brunches and Zoom courses and like any
type of party I throw. So that's been all those
sales for that. When it comes to like my financial
domination and things of that nature, a lot of those
tributes and things are gifts through cash at or gifts
through Vemo. Like it's like if your friend was to
send you eight hundred dollars on cash app for their
(15:13):
portion of the rent. That's how it is when it's
getting sent to me on cash App. So I would say,
aside from that, if I was to mentally try to
add up my cash app Venmo, even cash gifts or
anything of that nature. I would say by now October
it would be close to fifty km. And that's just
me a just throwing a number out there, because there's
(15:37):
so many things from session deposits, from when I'm having
sessions Skype online, things from when I'm doing that. There's
even things such as night flirt, which is phone sex operation,
but there are subs that want to be humiliate on
the phone. So there's so many different avenues of revenue
that are coming in. Yeah, and that's like such a
key part of being on top of your finances. Something
(16:00):
I'm trying to work on. It's like having different income
streams and it's like taking me so long to realize,
like I shouldn't just work at one job, like you know, yeah,
like that's how That's how I saw myself. Like I
came in as a financial dominatrix, but I was just like, Okay,
what happens when maybe one day something happens and I
can't do this anymore or it gets tired of or whatever.
(16:22):
Like that's why now I'm working on a lingerie line.
So I want to get back into fashion. So it'll
just come back full circate and it'll be advertised to
sex workers. So it's like it's going to be a
lingerie line finally buy a sex worker for sex worker
while so it's like, you know, just trying to have
those different streams of bringing everything back full circle, right,
And I mean you mentioned like something about you know,
(16:45):
this may not be what you want to do forever,
Like do you think about, like, you know, where does
this lead to? Like is there going to come a
point in time where you're like, I don't want to
do this anymore? And do you I don't know, do
you have a thought about like what's kind of the
future of this for you? I think for me, it
depends on where the culture of kink and bdsm's goming.
Like right now, it's really really big and popular because
(17:07):
it's been shown in pop culture very much so lately,
whether it's a Netflix show, whether it's like um, these
artists and their music videos wearing leather and late texts,
things of that nature. But I think I'll be in
a space where I always will want to be a
kink educator throwing events because I get so much like
joy from throwing events and doing things but will I
(17:28):
be ninety years old still whipping someone in a dungeon? Depends.
I'm so impressed. Like the amount of money you're making
sounds like, you know, at least one hundred and fifty
K at least you know that's only as of October.
(17:50):
Is definitely a far cry from the forty five K
you were making before. What what has this allowed you
to achieve financially that you might not have been able
to tang otherwise? Oh wow? So I came from a
family of six kids. My mom and dad are still married,
So I came from a family of We didn't really
(18:10):
have money to do a lot of extracurricular things. For instance,
I'm going to Disney on Wednesday. Never been to Disney
in my life, like, and you know, I'm going as
an adult, And I wasn't able to do that when
I was younger because there were so many of us,
and like you know, we lived in different areas from
the suburbs to the projects to the outskirts and all
these different things. So I really didn't grow up with
(18:30):
a financial knowledge that I needed, did not grow up
financially responsible, was not taught things of like how to
do taxes, and how to do this and that and
apply for loans was really just thrown into it. Like
that's just how I feel. So Ever, since I've come
into this career, you know, I've been able to do
things for myself. I've been able to save money, I've
been able to keep a nice savings account, and and
(18:51):
you know, pay things on time and improve my credit
score and pay off loans and just do all these
different things that I wasn't able to do. And within that,
I'm able to help my parents. I'm able to send
them money, I'm able to just buy them things if
I want to buy them things. But at the same time,
while learning that financial responsibility that I didn't have growing
up from age like when I was in college until
(19:12):
up until age twenty four, I want to say, so,
it's really just it's taught me a lot about saving,
It's taught me a lot about how to deal with
so much money coming in at once. It's taught me
about how to get business licenses and how to properly
do my taxes and report things. It's just things I
had to learn on my own. But I feel like
if I hadn't got pushed to this point, I wouldn't
(19:32):
have like learned it. What are some of your long
term financial goals? So right now I'm putting money into
a dungeon I'm trying to build in New York City
that's gonna be another stream of income. So basically a
dungeon really where we focus on black sex workers having
a saved space because we deal a lot. You know,
even I starting now as a dime, I dealt a
lot with with a lot of passive aggressiveness and like
(19:55):
spaces that were mostly white or like white owned or whatever,
so just really having no spaces for us. So and
then you know, it's not a lot of dungeons in
New York. A lot of dungeons got shut down during
the pandemic. One dungeon that was black owned got shut down.
So it's just me and my girlfriends who are also
doms putting this dungeon together. So it's for me to
put my money into that long term. And also I
want to start a school like a Dominatrice Academy with
(20:17):
you know, tuitions and semesters and all these different things.
So I think it's just me always thinking how can
I give back to the community that supports me so much?
All the time, like, how can I give back to
them all at once? So my long term goal is
always financially, is always about healing and building within the community.
So I feel like, as long as you heal and
(20:38):
build and put money into the community, the universe will
always give back. You know, You'll always be you always
have abundance, You'll always be able to move how you
need to move. So those are pretty much my long
term goals. So many of your clients are white men, Yes,
(21:01):
And one of the paddles that you spank people with
says reparations on it. Yes, do you explicitly talk about
reparations with your white male clients? I do. I definitely do.
So I do a lot of reparations plays what we call.
I do a lot of making them like do research
(21:22):
on black women or black women in power or whatever. Yeah. Yeah,
So I give them homework or either even just make
them research me and do a paperwork on me and
who I am. I'm like, like a lot of my
subs when they approach I'm like, if you want to
approach me and serve me, like you're saying, like I
want you to want to serve me beyond what you're
(21:43):
seeing in the images and that you think I'm beautiful
and I'm high, Okay, anyone can say that. It's like,
I want you to really study who I am and
what I like so that you can properly serve me,
you know, so that it's not just something you're doing
out of boredom or because you have some extra money
to spend today, you know. So I do a lot
of just educating them. And I also run a group
called Black dom Sorority where it's like a hundred of us.
(22:03):
A couple members are in La, so we're like all
over and you know, I use the subs to serve
us at events. We have sleepovers and brunches and all
types of things, and we'll have the white subs there
and they'll really be like bound down to us. So
I love just that element of my work. So you
mentioned like Black Dompsterrity, you'll have these and that's a
group of black and eye for Latina women and non
(22:27):
binary people who are all domatrixes. Not right right, yes,
and so like you'll have these white subs, Like will
they be like serving the food and cleaning up? Yeah,
so they'll serve the food. We've had them in like
made outfits before cleaning up. We'll do like little fashion
shows with them, little humiliating things, things that they like
consented to we'll have. So, for instance, in December, we're
(22:48):
having our holiday party in New York. So the holiday
party is gonna be so much fun because we're gonna
do so many different things, like making the subs pose
as Christmas trees and just throwing decorations on them and
things of that nature. It's really for our entertainment, but
it's also for them to realize, like, you know, you
wanted to serve us goes beyond you just typing this
to me on Twitter, Like I want to see in
(23:09):
person that you're really dedicated to serve us, because anybody
can say, oh I love serving Black domps and things
of that nature. And you know, a lot of the
times these subs they try to see us as a
fetish or they fetishize us. And so it's me really
saying like, you know, you can like what you like,
but also you have to understand what you're liking, and
you have to see that person as a person also,
not just as a kink or a fetish. And what
(23:32):
kind of transformation have you seen? Have you seen, like
have you had conversations with your subs where they actually
get it and like they, I don't know, have more
of a realization of what it means to for there
to be reparations or for their them to actually respect
black women, Like do you get that kind of feedback
from them? Yeah, I've definitely seen a transformation. I mean,
(23:55):
I've had one sub that says that he's learning more
about black history and you know, learning more beyond his
scope of what he was taught growing up. And you know,
I have subs that I have them donate to certain
causes or whatever that support black people, black set workers
in general. So it's just always me teaching them how
to give back, but also me teaching them that when
(24:16):
I'm not around, because I might not always be around,
it might not always be your dom, you still need
to hold us to the same stature that you're holding me.
So it shouldn't just be where you're just holding Mistress
Marley as a black woman to a certain stature because
you think she's hot and sexy and you want to
serve her. It should be every black woman that crosses
your path you should be treating like this. Have you
(24:51):
ever actually controlled someone's bank account, like gotten their password
and everything, so not their bank account password. But there
is something that we do in Findom called team viewer,
and that's basically when you remotely control their computer from
your house. So I've like I've controlled it and they
watch you do it the whole time. But I've controlled
their like laptops or whatever from my house, and I've
(25:13):
gone into their PayPal, logged in and sent myself money,
or gone into their cash app for Venmo and sent
myself money. So it's pretty much the same thing. So
you have some subs that want that to happen for them. Wow, yeah,
I got a dream job, I mean. But at the
same time, like you have a lot of content out
there on different platforms. You have an only fans account
(25:35):
where people can see nude photos and videos of you,
Like there's a possibility that like those silent centers are
also taking in some of that content, right, yeah, But
I think the thing with them too is that when
they're looking at my content only fans, my content, my
content is under the mail gaze, but it's not for
the male gaze, if that makes sense. So my content
(25:57):
is not me trying to convince you to touch me
or be all over me, or I want you or
I'm you know whatever they might say, or I'm horny
or you know what a lot of people might do.
My content is more so on the fact of look
at me, you'll ever be able to touch me, You'll
never be able to even be in the same room
as me, You're a loser. Like it's still me humiliating,
but in a way of being sensual with it. And
(26:18):
I mean, this might be like a really stupid question,
but do you think that this type of thing, especially
the pendom stuff could work if there wasn't like literally
anything sexual about it, Like if you were just like
in your sweats and like didn't even post a picture
of yourself or something like would would it work or
(26:38):
oh for sure? Because when I when I first started out,
it was just strictly content on Twitter, posting my feet,
posting a picture of me doing a loser sign, like
not even really having that only fans network or whatever.
And then there's a lot of doms too that are faceless.
They just show the neck down. There's a lot of
stubs that love catfish fetish, so they love for you
to use a fake picture on them and tell them
(26:58):
it's a fake picture and they just love it. It's different. So, yeah,
there's so many Like one of the main questions I get,
because you not get a lot of women that do
have these ninety five jobs when they ask me, how
can I do this without showing my face? And I'm like,
you can definitely do this about showing your face, because
there's some stubs that really just like feet or just
like to see you in stockings from the waist down
(27:19):
or whatever. Like, there's so many different ways you can
make money without ever showing your face. Well that's amazing.
I didn't realize you can even make money not even
showing a picture of yourself. Yeah you can, you definitely can. Wow.
How do you decide what your rate should be? So
my rates are decided upon how much energy am I
(27:39):
putting into something mentally, physically, and emotionally. So if I'm
whipping someone that's physical, that's something that can make your
arm sore by the end of it or takes a
lot of physical energy, So I would charge upward of
eight hundred an hour for that. If I'm doing something
where I'm verbally humiliating somebody, Okay, that's not as intense
as physical domination, So maybe I'll do three hundred an
hour for that. If I'm doing something where they want
(28:01):
multiple kinks in one hour, it's like, okay, you really
have to charge for that, you know, a thousand and upwards.
So it just really depends on what you're putting into it.
If it's ever to a point where you're doing something
and you're thinking, oh my god, this is emotionally doing
so much for me or mentally or I had to
do so much to get prepared for this, you know.
And as doms spend a lot of money on our outfits,
leather and latex is not cheap. We spend a lot
(28:23):
of money on our on our outfits, self care of
our outfits, of our tools. A lot of these tools
are handmade. A lot of them are like real leather
and wood and things of that nature. So that's how
I really determined my rates. It's like how much energy
is being put into what I'm doing. I'm so curious
as you mentioned that your expenses and I think about
like your taxes or something like what all are your expenses?
(28:47):
So my expenses vary from like until I open a dungeon.
I am renting out dungeons for a session, so that's
those are usually hourly fees, and those usually change per dungeons.
So one dungeon might charge seventy five an hour, you
might have another one that charges one fifty. It just
depends on what's available that day and what you can use.
So it's dungeon expenses. It's expenses of wanting to buy
new tools and new toys because a lot of these
(29:09):
things have wear and tear over time. So I've had
a lot of paddles and things I've had it thrown
out because they can't be used anymore. They've been used
so much. Leather and latex. There's sometimes instances accidentally in
latex where you might get oil or spill something on
it and it's damaged so you have to replace it.
Like those things are very sensitive and easy to mess up.
So it's just dealing with incidentals like that. Expenses such
(29:30):
as you know, like traveling to the session. But a
lot of these expenses are put into the session price,
so they're pretty much covered by the sub But these
are different expenses that we have and me just being
a very very feminine woman, you know, I always have
my hair done every two weeks and nails and you know,
all these different types of cosmetic things and keeping up
with my general health and all these different things. So
(29:51):
a lot of this money goes into things. It's not
always oh, I got this big stack of money and
it's going straight into the savings. Some of it might
go into the savings, but some of it is going
towards other expenses. Because as a dom especially in this
industry where you're doing physical domination in person, your looks
are everything. Yeah, how many hours a day do you work?
It depends. So one thing about sex work two is
(30:12):
your schedule is never the same. So my busiest days
are days when I have sessions back to back, or
when I'm recording content all day. So I like to
work smart and not hard. So I'll spend a whole
day recording content and different videos and post it on
different days. You know, the subs don't know what days
I don't or if you know, whatever, So those to
me are the hardest because content creation is so hard.
(30:34):
I mean, you spend all the time in the world,
first of all, just doing your makeup and hair in
your outfit, and then you have to set up the
self timer and the editing and the lighting and making
sure you're doing it at the right time of the
day so you are getting lighting, so that itself takes
a long time. But I will say maybe on an
average day of sessions or whether it's virtual or whatever,
or planning events, I will say, like, I'm up at
(30:56):
nine o'clock and maybe done around three, so maybe I
work at nine to three, you know. So it just depends.
But it's that ability to be able to set my
schedule and be able to say, you know what, I'm
not seeing anyone today, or I'm not seeing anyone tomorrow.
I'll see whoever I want to see on Thursday. I
could do a whole sessions, a whole day of sessions
on a Thursday and make what I needed to make,
you know, for the month. So it's it's different ways
(31:19):
to just like set it up. But one thing about
me is I'm always big on taking like I will
take time off like I do not care. I will
take the time off and vacation like even become to
La was a vacation and time off just for myself,
you know, So you have to really just make that time. Yeah,
I mean that that kind of brings me to one
of the questions I had, which is like, we all
have days at work or we're just like like, I
(31:42):
have to go to work, right, Do you ever feel
like that or do you feel mostly like you love this?
I love it. I think I only get times where
I'm like, oh my god, I'm so like tired or
whatever when it's like the day of an event, because
I know events take a lot out of me, so
it's like, you know, there's so many things that always
come up days of an event, like the decorator isn't
replying to your text right away, or like the caterers
(32:04):
saying they're going to be this many minutes later or whatever.
So it's always little things like that that come up.
But within my actual work of being a pro dom
and a financial dominatrix, I never get to that point.
I get excited when it comes to doing sessions, even
if it's just online or someone sending me money or
a virtual Skype session or whatever it might be. I
just always get excited because I'm like, especially if it's
a new client, because I get to meet someone new
(32:24):
and that first introduction is everything, and it's just like
you never know where it can go, Like this can
be my client that I only wanted one session today,
or this could be my client that's sending money every
day for me, you know. So it's for me it's
the thrill and excitement because in this industry, you never
know where things are gonna go. What do you indulge in? Financially?
(32:56):
I love bags. I'm a back fanatic going through the
fashion industry growing up or in college where I couldn't
afford none of the things we were lying about. To
be able to afford those things, now it gives me.
It gives me like pride on it gives me a
deeper sense of it. It's like a kid in a
candy store. So I definitely indulge. I think I buy
(33:17):
at least one luxury bag a month at this point. Yeah,
so like I'm trying to work on it. But to me,
it's just like I just love how it is. And
for me, it's not even just buying the bag. Is
some of these luxury stores give such good experiences, like
you walk in and you get the champagne, and you know,
you get like all these different things going on, and
to me, it's just the air of it of just
(33:37):
how it feels to be in spaces that I would
have never thought i'd be able to be in, or
spaces to where you know me going in around New York.
Even when I had no money, I would be on
Fifth Avenue, go on a shop and just feel embarrassed
that I was in there and couldn't really like spend
any money or just feel like, you know, I would
never be able to obtain these things, So I will
say that I'm a bad fanatic right now. Nice. Another
(34:00):
question we have for everyone is what does enough look
like to you? What does enough look like for me? Enough?
For me, I guess would be like being fulfilled emotionally
and mentally. So for me, it's like, even if I
(34:21):
wasn't financially stable or financially to do things I could do,
I think as long as I was fine mentally and emotionally,
I would be great. You know, because a lot of
people make a lot of this money and they hate
themselves or they don't feel good about themselves, so they're
never fulfilled or is not enough for them. But for me,
it's just like, as long as I have good people
around me and I can give back to people, and
(34:44):
I feel great about myself and what I'm doing That's
all that matters. You know. Do you feel like you
have enough right now? No? You can always want more.
You can always want more. I don't have enough bad
but no, I think I think I do have. I
have enough love within me and outside of me. So
I have so many amazing people around me that have
(35:05):
supported this journey, because for me, it's different. It's one
thing to be a sex work online doing your own thing,
and you know, you're not really in the like, not
really in the scope of everyone's eyes and stuff. But
for me to be doing all that, plus everyone's always
watching me, and I'm in these big publications and doing
these things, and I feel like people are waiting for
me to mess up. It's like I have all these
people that support me. I mean, I just having the
(35:27):
privilege alone of my parents supporting my sex work is big.
There are so many people in this industry that can't
even tell their parents because they'll get this own kicked out,
whatever it might be. But I have parents that not
only support what I do, but they want to be
a part of it. Like my mom's going to be
my assistant for my lingerie line, Like she's like helping
me all these things. And you know, my dad's always
asking like do you need business cards? You need this?
(35:49):
Or my dad's like I saw someone today that Mike
could be a sub I'm okay, Dad, I don't even
know what that means for you, but like, but it's
just having all these people. I mean, my best friend
is my assistant, My two other best friends are running
a dungeon with me. Like, just having all these people
that are close to me, that are supporting what I'm doing,
that are always there. I mean they're there through everything,
(36:09):
through the meltdowns before in an event, through like the
nervousness before certain things, through having to deal with crazy clients.
I mean sometimes my best friends come and sit in
at security at my session. So it's just like that
will always be enough for me. I heard that you
have an affirmation that you say to yourself in the
mirror every day, and I'm wondering if you can teach
(36:31):
it to us. So affirmations are always a good thing
because you could either repeat it to yourself in a mirror,
or you can record your voice saying it on your
phone and play it as you're going to sleep. Yeah,
so a lot of people like to listen to mantras
by other people, which are good, but to me, it
has the most force in it when it's your own voice.
So imagine you, like, so imagine you falling asleep and
(36:52):
you're subconsciously listening into yourself and your ears say these things.
You're gonna believe it because it's your voice. Right, So
it's I'm a bad bitch. I'm a bad bitch. I'm
a money magnet. I'm a money magnet. Everything I want want,
I get, everything I want I get. I'm healthy, I'm wealthy.
(37:13):
I'm that bitch. I'm healthy, I'm wealthy. I'm that bitch. Yes,
I love it. Yes, I'm getting a note from our
producer one wanting to know if you can dom me
in one sentence like you do a client. Oh okay,
(37:33):
that was a that was a good little touch. Producer.
Shout out to you. What are your like, what are
your what are your hard limits? First? Like, what is
a absolute no? Can you give me an example of
what a hard limit is? So hard limit is something
that's just like no, absolutely. Don't say to me, I
mean I don't. I don't think that I have. I
(37:54):
don't know, I don't think that I have. Okay, even better. Yeah, yeah,
go for all right. So, hey, little bitch, you're gonna
give me all your money, and you're gonna dream about
me when you go to sleep, and I'm all you're
gonna ever think about, because I'm all that matters to you,
and your life is worthless without sending me money. Amazing,
(38:15):
Thank you. Well, I actually have sent you money because
I've subscribed to one of your channels. So oh, silent,
we have a silence sender. Guys to a silent sender.
Other People's Pockets is written and hosted by me My Allow.
(38:38):
It's produced by me along with Joey Stanford and Dan Glucci.
Production help by Angela Vane. Our mix engineer is Dan Glucci.
Our executive producers are me My Allow along with Jane
Marie and Dan Glucci. Special thanks to the Silence Senders.
Other People's Pockets is a production of Pushkin Industries. If
(39:02):
you love this show, consider subscribing to Pushkin Plus, offering
bonus content and ad free listening across our network for
four dollars in ninety nine cents a month. Look for
the Pushkin Plus channel on Apple Podcasts or at pushkin
dot fm to find more Pushkin podcasts. Listen on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen. You can
sign up for Pushkin newsletters at pushkin dot fm.
Pushkin. I'm Jacob Goldstein and this is a special bonus
episode of What's Your Problem. My guest today is my
allow host of a new podcast called Other People's Pockets.
Opp to those who love it, Hi, Maya, good morning. Hey,
nice to talk to you. So you got a new show?
(00:37):
Give me give me the show? In like one sense,
what is other People's Pockets? Other People's Pockets is a
show where I interview people about money. I asked them
how much money they make, how they feel about that,
how they got there, and any you know, tips and
tricks we can learn along the way of their money journey.
You kind of jumped over it, but I love the
asking them how much money they make, right, I feel
(00:58):
like a lot of those other things. I was sure
I've heard tips and tricks, But how much money do
you make? Is a great question. Yeah, it's kind of
the quiet part out loud. It's the thing we all wonder.
I think there's a reason why we all want to
look at zillo and look inside other people's homes. I
think we also want to look inside other people's finances
because there's a lot that's communicated with just knowing the number.
(01:22):
I love it so I've heard a few of the
first episodes that you've been working on, and there's one
that I found particularly interesting that I want to play today,
and it's an interview you did with a financial dominate trix.
So just briefly, what is a financial dominaterix. Some people
have a kink where the kink itself is to give
(01:44):
away money, and there's like this loss of power and
that's their kink. And so the financial dominatrix makes money
by people just wanting to send the money. Often there's
nothing sexual, there's nothing physical that happens. That's how they
make money. Amazing. So I like this interview you did
with this financial dominatrix, this fin Doom for a few reasons,
(02:04):
Like one, she actually talks about how much money she makes,
and like the different sort of revenue channel she has,
So just the straight up how much do you make?
Is there? And then also you kind of get this
meta thing about money, which is why would people want
to pay her to take their money or whatever to
give her money. So let's just get to it now.
Congratulations on your new show, Other People's Pocket. Thank you
(02:25):
so much, Jacob. Let's listen to the episode, Well Mistress Marley,
thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm
so excited to have you here. Thank you for having me.
Can you explain what is financial domination and how did
(02:51):
it become one of your specialties? So basically, financial domination
is a practice within the BDSM and kink world. It's
the psychological kink that involves a sub giving the dominant
party money, whether we call it a tribute, gifts or whatever,
but the sub basically gets off by giving themselves to
the dominatrix or the dom financially. Wow. And I mean
(03:15):
when you explain it, and I think the more that
I've heard about it, I think a lot of people
kind of consider it basically a dream job to kind
of just exist and ask for people to give you
money and they just give it to you. Yeah, yeah,
I get that a lot. Everyone's always like is this real?
When I first came into it, I didn't think it
(03:36):
was real until it started happening and I was like, Oh,
it's real. And so I'm wondering if you can kind
of explain more. I mean, as I understand it, you know,
you have an online presence, people can see pictures and
videos of you. You ask for tributes sometimes, but you
also sometimes meet people, these being your your subs or
(04:01):
your financial submissives in person, right, and sometimes do things
like take them to an ATM. Yes, yeah, can you
talk more about what that looks like. Yeah. So you'll
have some subs that want to meet you in person,
and we call them fin subs or financial subs. But
then for the most part, financial domination is online. But
for those subs that want to meet you, they want
(04:22):
to do something that we call a cash meet, and
that's when you are meeting the sub at ATM, you know,
requesting a certain amount of money they should take out,
and they hand it to you and either you can
humiliate them, you can walk away any type of embarrassment
that they might ask, whatever it is, it's all consensual.
But there are some in person meetups in this field,
not always necessary or not always required, but I think
(04:43):
they're the most fun because it's like, not only are
you giving me your money, but you're doing it in
public and I get to humiliate you after I get
the money. So to me, that's like something I just
love to do. I'm so like impressed by I think
I would have so much stage fright and like I'm
impressed that, like you can just go with it and
like turn on this side of you, Like do you
(05:06):
ever have a moment where you're like, I don't know
if I can do this or are you just totally
in it? Oh my gosh. Yes. So when I first
started out, it was like hard for me to really
get in the mode of knowing, like I'm going to
humiliate someone because I'm from the South, so I have
the sweet southern built thing, like I've always been just
a sweetheart, I think so, and my first ever cashed me.
I was very very nervous. I'm like, what do I
(05:28):
say to them? Like what if there becomes a time
where I paused or don't know what to say and
we're just awkwardly standing there or whatever. But I got
into the mode of getting better at it by like
when I saw the subs, I would imagine somebody I
really really hate it, especially a man or someone that's
done me wrong in the past, and it was just
easier in that way. And then when I realized like,
(05:49):
not only was I humiliating them and doing something that
made me feel good, then being humiliated with something that
made them feel really good. So I was fulfilling something
inside of them while doing something I had to learn
how to do and learn how to come into. So
it's something that yes, I was intimidated at first, and
a lot of people are intimidated at first when they
think about it. But it's one of those things that
once you say that first word of humiliation, you just
(06:11):
keep going and you can't stop. So it's like you
get better at it. Yeah, you just have to tap
into that part of you exactly. So, how how much
money do you make doing this? Oh? Wow? It depends,
so like a tribute could range from fifty dollars to
a thousand dollars, and a tribute it's really just what
a sub gives you to have conversation with you or
(06:33):
to have access to you. So that doesn't mean like
you have to send back any photos or videos or
even have a session with them. A tribute is simply
for appreciation, So those can range from fifty dollars to
a thousand dollars. And then you get deeper into it
when you have cash meets, because not only are you
going to the cash meeting requesting they take out like
a thousand out the ATM, but you're also getting a
deposit before that meetup to secure the meetup, and then
(06:56):
when you get into sessions, it gets even deeper because
then it's per hour. So like there's been times where
I've had sessions because, like I said, I'm a pro
dominatric too, so I do the typical dom things of
like whipping and you know, foot worship and all those things.
So once you get into that, it can be upward
of nine hundred hour, thousand an hour, whatever it may be.
But I've gotten to the point where me being a
(07:18):
financial dominatrix has done so well for me that I
was able to quit my nine to five last year
last January. Wow, congratulations, thank you, thank you. How much
money were you making your previous job. It was really
just an entry level like forty five K a year
type salary, so you know, it was enough to get
(07:38):
by and live in New York with roommates and things
of that nature. But it was definitely not something I
was happy in. It was something where even on my
lunch break, I was going to see subs on ATM
meet up while I was like working exactly exactly, or
I'd be on my laptop, like you know, putting out
ads or doing little things or editing pictures or whatever.
(07:59):
So I always was just like ready to leave that
job or whatever. So yeah, it wasn't it wasn't what
I needed. And I mean, you have a master's degree
in fashion marketing, so I imagine that that's helped you
in your line of work now in terms of marketing, Like,
can you talk about like what that degree has helped
(08:19):
you with? Yeah, for sure. So, like my bachelor's degree
was in fashion design, and then I moved to New
York to learn more about the business of fashion. So
I got my master's degree in fashion marketing, and that's
helped me learn my niche market That's helped me learn
like how to advertise pictures, what time of the day
to advertise, who to advertise too. Even if I'm just
(08:39):
having classes for other people that want to learn how
to be doms is setting a price for that and
what I offer with that. I mean I even throw events,
so I throw brunches for women that want to learn
how to do this stuff. So it's me being able
to do all this marketing. And my friends always call
me a marketing beast, like they can't understand how I'm
like always going, going, going, it's like, because you know,
(09:00):
in my corporate world, when I was working in corporate,
that's something I just had to do in a daily
So why not incorporated into what I'm doing now? Right?
You know a lot of your clients, I think you've
mentioned our CEOs, there are Wall Street types. They're high
powered men in high powered jobs. Do you get a
sense from them about why exactly they're interested in giving
(09:22):
away their money and also in being dominated? I think
for them it's the lack of power that they're having
with me. So they're so used to being in charge.
Like you said, they're CEOs and things of that nature,
so they're so used to being in charge and calling
the shots and this and that. But when they come
to me, none of that exists. It's all about me.
(09:42):
I call the shots, I make the schedule. I tell
you when you need to be bowing to me or
giving to me or sending to me. And for them
it's just like, wow, I'm really being told something by
someone that a is not only younger than me, but
someone that is very dominant and I might not be
used to this. So I think they get off to
just have from that lack of control, Like, oh, I
can't control what's going on right now. I can't tell
(10:04):
them that they need to shut up and listen to me,
Like I have to shut up and listen to them.
And what about when it's just them sending you money
and like there's no real back and forth, but it's
just money appears in your account, Like what what's side about?
Do you think? Oh, that's even better? And actually if they,
if more of them could send me money and not
say anything to me, oh life will be made. But
(10:26):
we get a lot of silent senders and financial domination.
Those are people that send money you don't know where
it came from. They'll never tell you like oh I
sent or whatever. I had once cup that was doing
that for a long time. Now I realized who he
was and I'll you know, I entered his DM, like
you know, because he had been a long time sender,
and I was like, what are your fetishes? What are
your kink? And he was literally just like I'm not
into any of that. I just want to send you
(10:46):
money or whatever, and I would just like to keep
it like silent. I was like perfect, Like that's perfect
for me, But I think for a lot of them
is to them, I guess it gives them a thrill
of knowing, like, oh my god, I just sent money
to a stranger on the other side of the world
and I'm never going to see them and they don't
have to talk to me, but I sent it and
it's out of my wallet. Like I think for them,
it's the thought of if I told someone this, they
would look at me like I was crazy, you know.
(11:07):
So it's it's different things that, you know make them
feel great or fulfilled. You mentioned like you have this
(11:31):
whole business and I'm curious more about your business model,
like you have a segment where you do financial domination.
You also do in person dominate tricks like what people
classically think of dominate tricks set up being you have
these brunches. You mentioned you have classes, Like can you
(11:52):
tell us kind of how it all breaks out, Like
what do you make the most money off of? What
do you make the least money off of? I would
have to say that I make the most money off
of my in person sessions and my online courses because
everyone wants to do everything online. Yes, I still have
successful in person events, but there's an online option. Of course,
everyone's going to take it just to be safe. I
(12:15):
will say I make a good amount of money with
my in person events and things of that nature, but
it just takes so much to put those together, like
you know, finding a venue, getting caterers, getting decorations, all
those different types of things. So it's just like I
try to make myself accessible in different ways because I
realize that what I'm doing is something that a lot
(12:36):
of people are curious about but are scared to jump into.
So of course, you might not have those people that
can show face at a public event like this because
at my brunches, I have subs there and we actually
like practice on them and things of that nature. But
you might have people that work in nine to five
jobs where they might be like, Okay, I don't want
to be seen in public at an event like this.
But that's why I offer the online events because they can,
(12:57):
you know, have the freedom to be online and learn
and not really have to show their face or be
out in the public. Right Well, I mean along those lines,
like I kind of wanted to ask you, sex work
is this thing that we go with glamorize and at
the same time society kind of doesn't know what to
do with And I'm wondering, like, what are some of
the pitfalls of this career choice for you. I think
(13:19):
some of the pitfalls is like the constant judgment stereotypes,
having to really explain your work, and having to explain
that sex work is work, even when people just when
I'm out at the bars or clubs, you know, the
typical conversations like what do you do for work or whatever, like,
and I'm someone that's always been so sture myself that
I'm not gonna hide what I do, but I'll tell
them I'm a dominatrix, and it's just right away, it's oh,
(13:41):
that's crazy, that's weird, like or like, oh, you're not
gonna beat me right now. I'm like okay, Like why
would I start beating you at the bar? Like yeah.
But it's getting those stereotypes. It's like having to really
explain yourself, and you know, having to realize that our
job isn't normal jobs, as much as we try to
normalize it. Yes, like we can say that it's normal
(14:03):
for us, but for other people will never be perceived
as that. So it's just always having to find where
we fit in or just feel like we're really fighting
to just be heard. You know, right, yeah, And I
mean it feels like you're like you've done a lot
of thinking and planning in terms of keeping your personal
life separate and also just in preparing to even get
in this industry exactly. So you mentioned how much tributes
(14:29):
could be. I mean, can you can you give us
a sense? I notice on Twitter you recently posted you
out of total sales of one hundred five thousand dollars
to date and we're in October this year. Can you
say like kind of what the total for the year
might be like of all the things you do? So
(14:51):
the sales I posted on Twitter just today are sales
from like my brunches and Zoom courses and like any
type of party I throw. So that's been all those
sales for that. When it comes to like my financial
domination and things of that nature, a lot of those
tributes and things are gifts through cash at or gifts
through Vemo. Like it's like if your friend was to
send you eight hundred dollars on cash app for their
(15:13):
portion of the rent. That's how it is when it's
getting sent to me on cash App. So I would say,
aside from that, if I was to mentally try to
add up my cash app Venmo, even cash gifts or
anything of that nature. I would say by now October
it would be close to fifty km. And that's just
me a just throwing a number out there, because there's
(15:37):
so many things from session deposits, from when I'm having
sessions Skype online, things from when I'm doing that. There's
even things such as night flirt, which is phone sex operation,
but there are subs that want to be humiliate on
the phone. So there's so many different avenues of revenue
that are coming in. Yeah, and that's like such a
key part of being on top of your finances. Something
(16:00):
I'm trying to work on. It's like having different income
streams and it's like taking me so long to realize,
like I shouldn't just work at one job, like you know, yeah,
like that's how That's how I saw myself. Like I
came in as a financial dominatrix, but I was just like, Okay,
what happens when maybe one day something happens and I
can't do this anymore or it gets tired of or whatever.
(16:22):
Like that's why now I'm working on a lingerie line.
So I want to get back into fashion. So it'll
just come back full circate and it'll be advertised to
sex workers. So it's like it's going to be a
lingerie line finally buy a sex worker for sex worker
while so it's like, you know, just trying to have
those different streams of bringing everything back full circle, right,
And I mean you mentioned like something about you know,
(16:45):
this may not be what you want to do forever,
Like do you think about, like, you know, where does
this lead to? Like is there going to come a
point in time where you're like, I don't want to
do this anymore? And do you I don't know, do
you have a thought about like what's kind of the
future of this for you? I think for me, it
depends on where the culture of kink and bdsm's goming.
Like right now, it's really really big and popular because
(17:07):
it's been shown in pop culture very much so lately,
whether it's a Netflix show, whether it's like um, these
artists and their music videos wearing leather and late texts,
things of that nature. But I think I'll be in
a space where I always will want to be a
kink educator throwing events because I get so much like
joy from throwing events and doing things but will I
(17:28):
be ninety years old still whipping someone in a dungeon? Depends.
I'm so impressed. Like the amount of money you're making
sounds like, you know, at least one hundred and fifty
K at least you know that's only as of October.
(17:50):
Is definitely a far cry from the forty five K
you were making before. What what has this allowed you
to achieve financially that you might not have been able
to tang otherwise? Oh wow? So I came from a
family of six kids. My mom and dad are still married,
So I came from a family of We didn't really
(18:10):
have money to do a lot of extracurricular things. For instance,
I'm going to Disney on Wednesday. Never been to Disney
in my life, like, and you know, I'm going as
an adult, And I wasn't able to do that when
I was younger because there were so many of us,
and like you know, we lived in different areas from
the suburbs to the projects to the outskirts and all
these different things. So I really didn't grow up with
(18:30):
a financial knowledge that I needed, did not grow up
financially responsible, was not taught things of like how to
do taxes, and how to do this and that and
apply for loans was really just thrown into it. Like
that's just how I feel. So Ever, since I've come
into this career, you know, I've been able to do
things for myself. I've been able to save money, I've
been able to keep a nice savings account, and and
(18:51):
you know, pay things on time and improve my credit
score and pay off loans and just do all these
different things that I wasn't able to do. And within that,
I'm able to help my parents. I'm able to send
them money, I'm able to just buy them things if
I want to buy them things. But at the same time,
while learning that financial responsibility that I didn't have growing
up from age like when I was in college until
(19:12):
up until age twenty four, I want to say, so,
it's really just it's taught me a lot about saving,
It's taught me a lot about how to deal with
so much money coming in at once. It's taught me
about how to get business licenses and how to properly
do my taxes and report things. It's just things I
had to learn on my own. But I feel like
if I hadn't got pushed to this point, I wouldn't
(19:32):
have like learned it. What are some of your long
term financial goals? So right now I'm putting money into
a dungeon I'm trying to build in New York City
that's gonna be another stream of income. So basically a
dungeon really where we focus on black sex workers having
a saved space because we deal a lot. You know,
even I starting now as a dime, I dealt a
lot with with a lot of passive aggressiveness and like
(19:55):
spaces that were mostly white or like white owned or whatever,
so just really having no spaces for us. So and
then you know, it's not a lot of dungeons in
New York. A lot of dungeons got shut down during
the pandemic. One dungeon that was black owned got shut down.
So it's just me and my girlfriends who are also
doms putting this dungeon together. So it's for me to
put my money into that long term. And also I
want to start a school like a Dominatrice Academy with
(20:17):
you know, tuitions and semesters and all these different things.
So I think it's just me always thinking how can
I give back to the community that supports me so much?
All the time, like, how can I give back to
them all at once? So my long term goal is
always financially, is always about healing and building within the community.
So I feel like, as long as you heal and
(20:38):
build and put money into the community, the universe will
always give back. You know, You'll always be you always
have abundance, You'll always be able to move how you
need to move. So those are pretty much my long
term goals. So many of your clients are white men, Yes,
(21:01):
And one of the paddles that you spank people with
says reparations on it. Yes, do you explicitly talk about
reparations with your white male clients? I do. I definitely do.
So I do a lot of reparations plays what we call.
I do a lot of making them like do research
(21:22):
on black women or black women in power or whatever. Yeah. Yeah,
So I give them homework or either even just make
them research me and do a paperwork on me and
who I am. I'm like, like a lot of my
subs when they approach I'm like, if you want to
approach me and serve me, like you're saying, like I
want you to want to serve me beyond what you're
(21:43):
seeing in the images and that you think I'm beautiful
and I'm high, Okay, anyone can say that. It's like,
I want you to really study who I am and
what I like so that you can properly serve me,
you know, so that it's not just something you're doing
out of boredom or because you have some extra money
to spend today, you know. So I do a lot
of just educating them. And I also run a group
called Black dom Sorority where it's like a hundred of us.
(22:03):
A couple members are in La, so we're like all
over and you know, I use the subs to serve
us at events. We have sleepovers and brunches and all
types of things, and we'll have the white subs there
and they'll really be like bound down to us. So
I love just that element of my work. So you
mentioned like Black Dompsterrity, you'll have these and that's a
group of black and eye for Latina women and non
(22:27):
binary people who are all domatrixes. Not right right, yes,
and so like you'll have these white subs, Like will
they be like serving the food and cleaning up? Yeah,
so they'll serve the food. We've had them in like
made outfits before cleaning up. We'll do like little fashion
shows with them, little humiliating things, things that they like
consented to we'll have. So, for instance, in December, we're
(22:48):
having our holiday party in New York. So the holiday
party is gonna be so much fun because we're gonna
do so many different things, like making the subs pose
as Christmas trees and just throwing decorations on them and
things of that nature. It's really for our entertainment, but
it's also for them to realize, like, you know, you
wanted to serve us goes beyond you just typing this
to me on Twitter, Like I want to see in
(23:09):
person that you're really dedicated to serve us, because anybody
can say, oh I love serving Black domps and things
of that nature. And you know, a lot of the
times these subs they try to see us as a
fetish or they fetishize us. And so it's me really
saying like, you know, you can like what you like,
but also you have to understand what you're liking, and
you have to see that person as a person also,
not just as a kink or a fetish. And what
(23:32):
kind of transformation have you seen? Have you seen, like
have you had conversations with your subs where they actually
get it and like they, I don't know, have more
of a realization of what it means to for there
to be reparations or for their them to actually respect
black women, Like do you get that kind of feedback
from them? Yeah, I've definitely seen a transformation. I mean,
(23:55):
I've had one sub that says that he's learning more
about black history and you know, learning more beyond his
scope of what he was taught growing up. And you know,
I have subs that I have them donate to certain
causes or whatever that support black people, black set workers
in general. So it's just always me teaching them how
to give back, but also me teaching them that when
(24:16):
I'm not around, because I might not always be around,
it might not always be your dom, you still need
to hold us to the same stature that you're holding me.
So it shouldn't just be where you're just holding Mistress
Marley as a black woman to a certain stature because
you think she's hot and sexy and you want to
serve her. It should be every black woman that crosses
your path you should be treating like this. Have you
(24:51):
ever actually controlled someone's bank account, like gotten their password
and everything, so not their bank account password. But there
is something that we do in Findom called team viewer,
and that's basically when you remotely control their computer from
your house. So I've like I've controlled it and they
watch you do it the whole time. But I've controlled
their like laptops or whatever from my house, and I've
(25:13):
gone into their PayPal, logged in and sent myself money,
or gone into their cash app for Venmo and sent
myself money. So it's pretty much the same thing. So
you have some subs that want that to happen for them. Wow, yeah,
I got a dream job, I mean. But at the
same time, like you have a lot of content out
there on different platforms. You have an only fans account
(25:35):
where people can see nude photos and videos of you,
Like there's a possibility that like those silent centers are
also taking in some of that content, right, yeah, But
I think the thing with them too is that when
they're looking at my content only fans, my content, my
content is under the mail gaze, but it's not for
the male gaze, if that makes sense. So my content
(25:57):
is not me trying to convince you to touch me
or be all over me, or I want you or
I'm you know whatever they might say, or I'm horny
or you know what a lot of people might do.
My content is more so on the fact of look
at me, you'll ever be able to touch me, You'll
never be able to even be in the same room
as me, You're a loser. Like it's still me humiliating,
but in a way of being sensual with it. And
(26:18):
I mean, this might be like a really stupid question,
but do you think that this type of thing, especially
the pendom stuff could work if there wasn't like literally
anything sexual about it, Like if you were just like
in your sweats and like didn't even post a picture
of yourself or something like would would it work or
(26:38):
oh for sure? Because when I when I first started out,
it was just strictly content on Twitter, posting my feet,
posting a picture of me doing a loser sign, like
not even really having that only fans network or whatever.
And then there's a lot of doms too that are faceless.
They just show the neck down. There's a lot of
stubs that love catfish fetish, so they love for you
to use a fake picture on them and tell them
(26:58):
it's a fake picture and they just love it. It's different. So, yeah,
there's so many Like one of the main questions I get,
because you not get a lot of women that do
have these ninety five jobs when they ask me, how
can I do this without showing my face? And I'm like,
you can definitely do this about showing your face, because
there's some stubs that really just like feet or just
like to see you in stockings from the waist down
(27:19):
or whatever. Like, there's so many different ways you can
make money without ever showing your face. Well that's amazing.
I didn't realize you can even make money not even
showing a picture of yourself. Yeah you can, you definitely can. Wow.
How do you decide what your rate should be? So
my rates are decided upon how much energy am I
(27:39):
putting into something mentally, physically, and emotionally. So if I'm
whipping someone that's physical, that's something that can make your
arm sore by the end of it or takes a
lot of physical energy, So I would charge upward of
eight hundred an hour for that. If I'm doing something
where I'm verbally humiliating somebody, Okay, that's not as intense
as physical domination, So maybe I'll do three hundred an
hour for that. If I'm doing something where they want
(28:01):
multiple kinks in one hour, it's like, okay, you really
have to charge for that, you know, a thousand and upwards.
So it just really depends on what you're putting into it.
If it's ever to a point where you're doing something
and you're thinking, oh my god, this is emotionally doing
so much for me or mentally or I had to
do so much to get prepared for this, you know.
And as doms spend a lot of money on our outfits,
leather and latex is not cheap. We spend a lot
(28:23):
of money on our on our outfits, self care of
our outfits, of our tools. A lot of these tools
are handmade. A lot of them are like real leather
and wood and things of that nature. So that's how
I really determined my rates. It's like how much energy
is being put into what I'm doing. I'm so curious
as you mentioned that your expenses and I think about
like your taxes or something like what all are your expenses?
(28:47):
So my expenses vary from like until I open a dungeon.
I am renting out dungeons for a session, so that's
those are usually hourly fees, and those usually change per dungeons.
So one dungeon might charge seventy five an hour, you
might have another one that charges one fifty. It just
depends on what's available that day and what you can use.
So it's dungeon expenses. It's expenses of wanting to buy
new tools and new toys because a lot of these
(29:09):
things have wear and tear over time. So I've had
a lot of paddles and things I've had it thrown
out because they can't be used anymore. They've been used
so much. Leather and latex. There's sometimes instances accidentally in
latex where you might get oil or spill something on
it and it's damaged so you have to replace it.
Like those things are very sensitive and easy to mess up.
So it's just dealing with incidentals like that. Expenses such
(29:30):
as you know, like traveling to the session. But a
lot of these expenses are put into the session price,
so they're pretty much covered by the sub But these
are different expenses that we have and me just being
a very very feminine woman, you know, I always have
my hair done every two weeks and nails and you know,
all these different types of cosmetic things and keeping up
with my general health and all these different things. So
(29:51):
a lot of this money goes into things. It's not
always oh, I got this big stack of money and
it's going straight into the savings. Some of it might
go into the savings, but some of it is going
towards other expenses. Because as a dom especially in this
industry where you're doing physical domination in person, your looks
are everything. Yeah, how many hours a day do you work?
It depends. So one thing about sex work two is
(30:12):
your schedule is never the same. So my busiest days
are days when I have sessions back to back, or
when I'm recording content all day. So I like to
work smart and not hard. So I'll spend a whole
day recording content and different videos and post it on
different days. You know, the subs don't know what days
I don't or if you know, whatever, So those to
me are the hardest because content creation is so hard.
(30:34):
I mean, you spend all the time in the world,
first of all, just doing your makeup and hair in
your outfit, and then you have to set up the
self timer and the editing and the lighting and making
sure you're doing it at the right time of the
day so you are getting lighting, so that itself takes
a long time. But I will say maybe on an
average day of sessions or whether it's virtual or whatever,
or planning events, I will say, like, I'm up at
(30:56):
nine o'clock and maybe done around three, so maybe I
work at nine to three, you know. So it just depends.
But it's that ability to be able to set my
schedule and be able to say, you know what, I'm
not seeing anyone today, or I'm not seeing anyone tomorrow.
I'll see whoever I want to see on Thursday. I
could do a whole sessions, a whole day of sessions
on a Thursday and make what I needed to make,
you know, for the month. So it's it's different ways
(31:19):
to just like set it up. But one thing about
me is I'm always big on taking like I will
take time off like I do not care. I will
take the time off and vacation like even become to
La was a vacation and time off just for myself,
you know, So you have to really just make that time. Yeah,
I mean that that kind of brings me to one
of the questions I had, which is like, we all
have days at work or we're just like like, I
(31:42):
have to go to work, right, Do you ever feel
like that or do you feel mostly like you love this?
I love it. I think I only get times where
I'm like, oh my god, I'm so like tired or
whatever when it's like the day of an event, because
I know events take a lot out of me, so
it's like, you know, there's so many things that always
come up days of an event, like the decorator isn't
replying to your text right away, or like the caterers
(32:04):
saying they're going to be this many minutes later or whatever.
So it's always little things like that that come up.
But within my actual work of being a pro dom
and a financial dominatrix, I never get to that point.
I get excited when it comes to doing sessions, even
if it's just online or someone sending me money or
a virtual Skype session or whatever it might be. I
just always get excited because I'm like, especially if it's
a new client, because I get to meet someone new
(32:24):
and that first introduction is everything, and it's just like
you never know where it can go, Like this can
be my client that I only wanted one session today,
or this could be my client that's sending money every
day for me, you know. So it's for me it's
the thrill and excitement because in this industry, you never
know where things are gonna go. What do you indulge in? Financially?
(32:56):
I love bags. I'm a back fanatic going through the
fashion industry growing up or in college where I couldn't
afford none of the things we were lying about. To
be able to afford those things, now it gives me.
It gives me like pride on it gives me a
deeper sense of it. It's like a kid in a
candy store. So I definitely indulge. I think I buy
(33:17):
at least one luxury bag a month at this point. Yeah,
so like I'm trying to work on it. But to me,
it's just like I just love how it is. And
for me, it's not even just buying the bag. Is
some of these luxury stores give such good experiences, like
you walk in and you get the champagne, and you know,
you get like all these different things going on, and
to me, it's just the air of it of just
(33:37):
how it feels to be in spaces that I would
have never thought i'd be able to be in, or
spaces to where you know me going in around New York.
Even when I had no money, I would be on
Fifth Avenue, go on a shop and just feel embarrassed
that I was in there and couldn't really like spend
any money or just feel like, you know, I would
never be able to obtain these things, So I will
say that I'm a bad fanatic right now. Nice. Another
(34:00):
question we have for everyone is what does enough look
like to you? What does enough look like for me? Enough?
For me, I guess would be like being fulfilled emotionally
and mentally. So for me, it's like, even if I
(34:21):
wasn't financially stable or financially to do things I could do,
I think as long as I was fine mentally and emotionally,
I would be great. You know, because a lot of
people make a lot of this money and they hate
themselves or they don't feel good about themselves, so they're
never fulfilled or is not enough for them. But for me,
it's just like, as long as I have good people
around me and I can give back to people, and
(34:44):
I feel great about myself and what I'm doing That's
all that matters. You know. Do you feel like you
have enough right now? No? You can always want more.
You can always want more. I don't have enough bad
but no, I think I think I do have. I
have enough love within me and outside of me. So
I have so many amazing people around me that have
(35:05):
supported this journey, because for me, it's different. It's one
thing to be a sex work online doing your own thing,
and you know, you're not really in the like, not
really in the scope of everyone's eyes and stuff. But
for me to be doing all that, plus everyone's always
watching me, and I'm in these big publications and doing
these things, and I feel like people are waiting for
me to mess up. It's like I have all these
people that support me. I mean, I just having the
(35:27):
privilege alone of my parents supporting my sex work is big.
There are so many people in this industry that can't
even tell their parents because they'll get this own kicked out,
whatever it might be. But I have parents that not
only support what I do, but they want to be
a part of it. Like my mom's going to be
my assistant for my lingerie line, Like she's like helping
me all these things. And you know, my dad's always
asking like do you need business cards? You need this?
(35:49):
Or my dad's like I saw someone today that Mike
could be a sub I'm okay, Dad, I don't even
know what that means for you, but like, but it's
just having all these people. I mean, my best friend
is my assistant, My two other best friends are running
a dungeon with me. Like, just having all these people
that are close to me, that are supporting what I'm doing,
that are always there. I mean they're there through everything,
(36:09):
through the meltdowns before in an event, through like the
nervousness before certain things, through having to deal with crazy clients.
I mean sometimes my best friends come and sit in
at security at my session. So it's just like that
will always be enough for me. I heard that you
have an affirmation that you say to yourself in the
mirror every day, and I'm wondering if you can teach
(36:31):
it to us. So affirmations are always a good thing
because you could either repeat it to yourself in a mirror,
or you can record your voice saying it on your
phone and play it as you're going to sleep. Yeah,
so a lot of people like to listen to mantras
by other people, which are good, but to me, it
has the most force in it when it's your own voice.
So imagine you, like, so imagine you falling asleep and
(36:52):
you're subconsciously listening into yourself and your ears say these things.
You're gonna believe it because it's your voice. Right, So
it's I'm a bad bitch. I'm a bad bitch. I'm
a money magnet. I'm a money magnet. Everything I want want,
I get, everything I want I get. I'm healthy, I'm wealthy.
(37:13):
I'm that bitch. I'm healthy, I'm wealthy. I'm that bitch. Yes,
I love it. Yes, I'm getting a note from our
producer one wanting to know if you can dom me
in one sentence like you do a client. Oh okay,
(37:33):
that was a that was a good little touch. Producer.
Shout out to you. What are your like, what are
your what are your hard limits? First? Like, what is
a absolute no? Can you give me an example of
what a hard limit is? So hard limit is something
that's just like no, absolutely. Don't say to me, I
mean I don't. I don't think that I have. I
(37:54):
don't know, I don't think that I have. Okay, even better. Yeah, yeah,
go for all right. So, hey, little bitch, you're gonna
give me all your money, and you're gonna dream about
me when you go to sleep, and I'm all you're
gonna ever think about, because I'm all that matters to you,
and your life is worthless without sending me money. Amazing,
(38:15):
Thank you. Well, I actually have sent you money because
I've subscribed to one of your channels. So oh, silent,
we have a silence sender. Guys to a silent sender.
Other People's Pockets is written and hosted by me My Allow.
(38:38):
It's produced by me along with Joey Stanford and Dan Glucci.
Production help by Angela Vane. Our mix engineer is Dan Glucci.
Our executive producers are me My Allow along with Jane
Marie and Dan Glucci. Special thanks to the Silence Senders.
Other People's Pockets is a production of Pushkin Industries. If
(39:02):
you love this show, consider subscribing to Pushkin Plus, offering
bonus content and ad free listening across our network for
four dollars in ninety nine cents a month. Look for
the Pushkin Plus channel on Apple Podcasts or at pushkin
dot fm to find more Pushkin podcasts. Listen on the
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