Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apogie Production.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad
Mum Podcast? We have bad mum content three times a week.
That's how bad we are. I think yourself lucky we're
not doing it seven times a week in.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
The amount of stuff that comes out of our mouths
about parenting. Definitely don't follow this parenting podcast for worldly
advice for education or education or how to. Speaking of
how to, you would have been so impressed with me.
We're at that time of year, which you know very
well about because you've been in and done it. But
(00:58):
we are at dance concert end of the year and
timely of the dance concert preparations. You go into a
full photo day on one weekend, the following weekend full
rehearsal day, and then I think it's like two weekends
after that is their full concert.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah, give you miss it, don't.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
See miss it.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
So last night I was up until late because it
happens to be the photo day this weekend and I'm away.
I did this also last year. It was the same weekend.
Photo day fell on the same weekend that I happened
to be away last year. So hair makeup, yeah, hairpectress,
and then full kit We've got seven uniforms, like seven
(01:42):
different outfits.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Now the last two came home only last night.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
And then they're expecting you to have it all like yes,
so you've got to take it from that.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Then you've got to put it into the proper like
oub on the stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
And one of the seven is like a oh yeah,
so your daughter has been put into this character.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
You need to source the whole thing. Oh shit, you
know what I'm like. I was like, what the hell?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
This is the twentieth anniversary year. So they're doing some
remakes of some of their top songs, and we'd done
this routine I think only.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Two years ago. Katie.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I've turned the house upside down. I cannot find this uniform.
I don't even throw uniforms out. I have no idea
where this is gone. But I found the vest to it,
so I was like, that's fine. And then from another one,
I was like, well, take that white shirt from that
because that'll look like that. I'll just color it a
little bit and really make it look disheveled. And then
guess what I did. I took another black pair of
(02:39):
pants from another uniform that we had, hoping to God
that we don't ever need to revisit these ones. She's
meant to be like the sort of like street kids,
kind of back in the olden days tree kids. So
at the time when I put them on her last night,
Gregsy's gotten into them and.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
She goes, oh, a bit tight around my bum. I
had a look, someone's just pinned it like soda. It
was probably nan a d was definitely not me, but
obviously at the time bit tight.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So got like the scissors and hacked at it and
then they fit and then you know what I did,
cut the legs off, but whilst the child was still
in the pants.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Katie, don't do that, Katie, don't ever do that.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Don't come to me for worldly advice about how to
make a costume with your daughter.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
What dickhead? She's like, mommy almost cutting me. I was like,
probably just take them off.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yeah, maybe, Why why.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Are you making me do it?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Week on?
Speaker 2 (03:29):
No, I understand where you work is like, then you
can make them the right length, then you can see
where they're gonna be.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
I mean, couple of cuts to the leg I mean,
it's not gonna kill you, see what I mean?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
For the non dance skilled I was like, it makes sense.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
To me, and I'm like looking up at her, going
makes sense because now I can see the high I
don't understand.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
What your problem is.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I put like three fingers as the gap below your knee,
and then I was just doing three fingers below you
get It's totally fine, you'll be fine.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I won't nick you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
And she was like, Mum.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
Just said that moment where I was like, it's nearly
bugging nine o'clock at night. I also don't want to
be making costumes, let alone fucking packing seven uniforms into
this duffel bag and then I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
To cut my child's leg off.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Nailed it probably got another one.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Just hop.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
My bad Mum for hiding what I'm watching now. I
don't really need to do this anymore. We've had conversations
in the past where been on an aeroplane with little
kids yea, and I was watching something that was inappropriate
and I could see Holly.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Keep looking at my screen.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Yeah, you're watching cartoons or something or something.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Yeah, and then.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I've got like the safety card up against someone stop
watching my thing. I don't really need to do that
anymore because they have watched probably stuff.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Than I have.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I have no idea what they even watch. They recommend
stuff us so like, oh, Mum, I think you'd like
this on Netflix. Oh no, Mom, it's way too much
for you.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Why thank you?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Now?
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Right?
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Have you watched Swingers?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
It's a movie or a TV show.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
It's a documentary, a doc Okay, yeah, no, I definitely
haven't watched it.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I'm still trying to get through the other one that
we talked about wayward.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Oh yeah, yeah, it's a documentary called Swingers, yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Which is set in the UK.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
And I initially I was like, oh, that'd be really interesting,
like I'm so interested to see how it all goes on,
and had this image in my mind that it was
going to be like really quite glamorous and like sexy
and like high end. I really thought it was gonna
be and then it just wasn't. Like it was like
(05:51):
kind of townhall vibes, sausage rolls, get your peanot, gretiow
and a plastic carp like it was. And then and
then there are people right like it's all.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Walks of life okay, And this was like an insightful
doco about how swingers work.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, like the night a killer company and you know
you get invited and you come along and there's like
drinks and nibbles to start with.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
But yeah, definitely like sausage roll kind of vibe.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Just your faces at all. No, everyone likes the sausage roll.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Yeah, you know, smoke salmon blini.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Yeah, like Champagne on arrival.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It's just that's the image I had. I think it's
going to be super glamorous. Yeah, and it wasn't, but
it was entertaining him by this stage.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
I was like invested, you're already there.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah, okay, but it's.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Not that my kids, it's not that it's inappropriate for
them to see stuff like that, like sixteen. But it
wasn't shame that's the wrong word. But it was almost
like a oh God, I don't.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Want them to know that I'm watching this.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Do you think that it comes from a place of
not you feeling shame towards watching it, but like sort
of that moment in time where you don't want to
be shamed by them for watching it.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Because they definitely would have been like why you watch
that you're into?
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, is that you don't want to be shamed by
them thinking that you want to partake in something like
this right, I mean, I mean you love a sausage roll.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
When we think when we think of the like logistics
of that, I was like, we like to watch fucked
up true crime shows on Netflix. Doesn't mean I want
to go out and be a murderer.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
No, But it is like a topic that allows that
lexibility around people's perception, which could be your kids as well.
But it does allow just being the topic that it is,
it does allow like such an openness towards like, oh,
maybe that's what you're into.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, yeah, And they definitely would have been a bit like,
oh god, mum's a weirdo, like, look at what she's watching.
And Dave was watching it too, like it was interesting,
like it was fascinating, and then it was also like
oh really. Then one of the girls came down the stairs.
They'd gone into the kitchen to like top up their
water or whatever, and Jay like quickly pressed pause. We
(08:15):
knew that they were ready to come in, and I went, Jay, like,
you've just pressed paws and at the top it says
swingers and he went, oh yeah, and so we've turned
it off. He's turned it off.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
The girls come in with silently watching nothing sutching a
black screen.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
I was like, you do it liking it more? Even
more weird. You're guilty.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
It was more weird it was.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
And then Jay's put the TV back on, and then
the next.
Speaker 4 (08:46):
Child's come down on the same filled up a water bottle.
He's like, turn on. It's like I just turned the
chewel over.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I did go over the fucking the block.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
What are you watching?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
You never watched the block? Yeah, well it's better than
what we actually are watching.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, but goodness of like a silent room as they
walk down as you're sitting on the couch and they're like,
what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
And this is a TV room, Rachel. It's like, you
don't sit there for any other purpose. You don't sit
there and talk to each other in front of the
black TV.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
They totally knew that you're watching something that you didn't
want to know that you're watching.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Oh and actually, on those streaming services you can see
what somebody else previously watched anyway.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Absolutely, it's not like you've got the parenting locks so
that they can hardly.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Watch the kitsch profile. It is all open watch what
people are watching.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, no, they would be horrified if I said, oh, sorry,
eels are set to PG.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yes, sorry, you can't watch that. Why I don't know,
because we've been watching it down that whole track of swingers,
and seeing that the doco was made in the UK,
I have to ask, is it sort of got a
vibe of like my gypsy wedding, my big fat gypsy wedding.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah it does, yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
But this one there was twenty year olds and think
there were seventy year olds.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Oh my gosh, because you can go.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
You don't have to go as a couple, but you
can go as a couple like single.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
I thought the whole point was to go as a couple,
so then therefore.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
No, it's just like a free for all. You go in,
you get your sausage roll, you get your warm wine
and a cup, and then it's not even numbers start talking.
There was this one bit rage where this young girl
she must have been in her twenties, maybe even early thirties,
but she was very pretty, like great body, and then
(10:39):
you could obviously see she was getting interest from this
guy who was also young, quite hot, like they suited.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Each other perfectly.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, and you could see it happening, and they've gotten
a hot tup, literally rage everywhere they go. This old
lady in her seventies larger old ladies, wearing like a almost.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Like a leotard mustache.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
She's following them around from place to place. I was like,
she's thinking she's going to get in on a threesome
action here?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Is that what she?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Do? You? Reckon?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
She was or maybe she just liked she likes the watch.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
I'd honestly rate like I was watching at this part.
I wouldn't have even paused it for the girls coming
in because at this part I was like, read the room,
did she have?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
You got what happened? She just wanted to watch?
Speaker 4 (11:30):
Oh maybe Suly, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
Surely you're not going to jump in on the action.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Surely too hot young male and female are not going
to turn to an older seven year old lady with
the mustache and say, hey, do you want to join in? Like,
it doesn't matter how far deep you are into that
sort of stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
I can't imagine that being an invitation.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I felt like she did not have very much self awareness.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
But from the fact.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
She's seventy wearing Lita and has a mustache and she's
on a doco that's swingers.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
I don't think there's much going on there.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Proper short curly hair perms like all the rest wasn't
trying to be younger.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
I know what I'll do.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I'll sit with these two hot twenty year olds.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
Surely they're going to invite me in.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
I also, now go back to your situation. I also
couldn't have left it on for my girls to walk
in and.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
See how they would view me like old love. That's
what they would be thinking that I would be doing.
That's gonna be mum, Oh, she's already watching it.