I was NEVER that rude

Rach is struggling with confidence / rudeness that no punishment seems to fix. We did not get away with it when we were kids!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apogae Production. Welcome back to another episode about I a
Mad Mum podcast. I feel like we're on the countdown

(00:28):
now to Christmas, and I feel like so many people
put their trees up in November. That's weird for me.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, a few have told me that they're up.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
I am not that person, but at the same time
kind of felt like it we're killing a few hours
on the weekend. I sort of looked and the thought
crossed my mind, and then I thought, fuck, no, I
can't be bothered early.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
This is probably really like o c D of me.
There's a part of me that feels sad when I
put Christmas decorations up because I like how my house
is with the stuff it's got in it.

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
So you know when you have to do start cluttery,
packing away certain things to make room for the Christmas decorations. Yeah,
I'm like, oh, I want it. Like So, for example,
I've got my cousin and his family coming over at
Christmas and they're just going to see the house with
Christmas decorations because I want them to see that.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Half is that they might like that. They want love Christmas.
Some people just love Christmas.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Gracie and I went shopping for groceries and ended up
somehow in pillow Talk. But it was funny because we
passed Tkmax and she said, why don't we go in
and look at Katie's paper Shop?

Speaker 2 (01:36):
And I was like, how do you know that that's
Katie's chop? But anyway, walked into pillow Talk. The lady
was like, can I help you?

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yadda yadda, and they've got like lots of sales on
but all of the Christmas stuff is new, and I went, oh,
is that for the Christmas stuff too? Not in my
mind wanting to read because I'm not that person that
changes the color every year. No, I will recycle and
reuse majority of it. We might add a little couple

(02:05):
of things, a couple of things, but nothing crazy.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
And when I.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Went to the post office and they were selling that
Christmas like light up Star, Yeah, and I bought it.
It was nowhere near Christmas, No, it.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Was probably January.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
I think that it was, Gracie goes, oh, so will
this come down in price?

Speaker 2 (02:22):
For the Black Friday sales hadn't even crossed my mind,
and my twelve year old daughter is asking. I was like, yes,
get a girl. And then she was like.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Then she looked at me, she goes, well, let's just
wait for the Black Friday sales and come back. Then
she was like, because she would like to change a
few things on the Christmas tree. I was impressed, so
I said, yes, we'll come back. But at the same time,
in my head, I was like, I'm not changing the
color scheme. But like, I know people that changed the
color scheme like every two years.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Really not for me.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
No, I don't even remember what my color scheme is.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
I don't have a color scheme. It's just like gold
and just drove whatever's on. Although I did upgrade from
tinsel to this like stuff, it was like a heavier rope,
still got a fleck of you know, gold through it,
but it was a heavier robe that doesn't drop tinsel everywhere.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
I'm not a tinsel fan, oh man.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
When the kids are younger, one hundred percent, you have
to have tinsel because they love putting their shit all
over it.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
When I was a kid, I remember our house and
my mom put all fucking decorations all over the ceiling,
all hanging from the ceiling.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
Yeah, that's a lot image all that tinsel.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
We have to Oh shit, I'm like a tree, that's enough.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Same, We've got a tree in a corner that is us.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
We've got a cat, so no ball balls from like
mid tree down.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
This is so funny.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
I only just had a conversation with another friend who
said that her mum is actually buying a Bunnings gate.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
What they called like a child gate, a fire like.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
A gate thing to go around the Christmas tree so
the dog doesn't eat the ball balls. The dog, the dog,
and me in my hat. I was like, blood our cat, Trev.
He must just be too old. Now, maybe he doesn't
give a shit. He walked past it, looks at the
ball balls and thinks that's way too much energy. I
don't even want to exert.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
So then he just walked off.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Can I tell you what happens with our dog? And
what happened with our dog last year? I wrapped up
a present for her.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
She gets a.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Toy, every little toy every year. She gets so excited
when she sees presents because she always thinks that something
is for her. She unwrapped her own present when we
weren't home and then took it down the garden so
the wrapping paper was left. I was like Where the
fuck is the word? It was down the garden. She'd
already had it.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
She's like, this is great, Now you're gonna get me
another one.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Am I a bad mom for not knowing what to do?

Speaker 3 (05:00):
That's always but this one is in coming in at
a different angle. And we always talk about this whole
stages and ages thing, and right now I genuinely am
in a pickle with Elsie.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Else's just hit that next peak.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Maybe you know that untapped confidence that they start to
find towards the back end of primary school because they're
becoming like the king of the castle.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
And I remember being tough with Grace, but she just
doesn't respond the same.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
And I do think that because I hear this quite
a lot with people with the younger child, Like the
younger child has this extra confidence.

Speaker 3 (05:48):
Yeah, but she's always had it, this kid like people go, oh, wow,
you're an amazing parent. You got your child out of
nappies at eighteen months.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
No, no, no, I didn't do that.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
I let her watch Gracie and she wanted to do
what Gracie does, So she was on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
I want to wear an appy anymore.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yeah, you know, and then you fast forward it and
like I think it was like two. She's on like
a scooter, a two wheeler scooter, just burning around, helmet on,
no dramas, running into the side of glass doors, like no,
nothing scared her, nothing, just the confidence. Yeah, and Gracie
was never short of confidence. But it's just a really

(06:27):
different one with else. And then now going into this
tough stage. Well has worked in the past with great
Sea in form of disciplines, and then the response back
from that, like don't do that, you'll be banned from
this or like whatever, nothing seems to face her and

(06:48):
she's fuck man, she's rude at the moment, she's rude. Yeah,
and Nanade is copying it lately, like left Front Center,
like some of the rudest shit. I would never have
dreamed of speaking to my grandparents the way that she
has spoken to my mother in the last few weeks.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I will say, and that's not nice, Like it doesn't
when you were being spoken to you so rude. However,
there is an element of she's safe to be around, yeah,
because you know how, you know how they say with kids,
like kids play up with the parent that they see
the safest like, they'll give you a hard time because

(07:26):
they know you're safe, right, So Nan obviously is a
safe person for her. So she's copying the.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Rud She's copying some of the stuff, O Katie. Genuinely,
this morning, I was going, what am I going to do?
How do I bring it back into line? And when
I say I don't want to crush your spirit, I
want to crush her soul.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
That's not what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, yeah, because some people think.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
You know, if you're discipline your kids too much, they'll rebel,
you're crushing their soul.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
They won't try and take on the world. That's not
what I want to do.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
I had an issue where I had to do kind
of a similar thing to Holly, which is interesting because
she came across as the really confident one, but yet
actually when I knowing her and knowing how she feels
about herself, it's actually an insecurity thing. But I definitely
had to have the conversation around life doesn't revolve around you.
It's not all about you, And it is that kind

(08:17):
of you are bringing them down a little bit, You're
kind of putting them in their place. But yeah, it's
a hard one to balance of being like, well, I
don't want you to feel like your piece of shit,
but no, no, I don't squash your personality.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
But like, it's that fine line we talked about it
before on here of like that whole time and place,
like and knowing the extremity of where to push the
needle to. Yeah, like ha haha between us, so fun
so funny, YadA, YadA YadA. With someone else, we can't
push the needle as far because I just think that
we're rude, you know. And so Elsie also has that

(08:53):
little but again she's ten.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, so I'm in this stage where me going what
did I do with Gracie when she was this age?
What did I do?

Speaker 1 (09:03):
I found that punishments weren't really working because they didn't
really care about what I was punishing them with. However,
what they do care about is money, and so I
introduce the fine. You're gonna pay a fine. So it's
like it's almost like we laugh about the swear jar, right, yeah,
So when they're little, you go, oh, if you if

(09:26):
I swear, I have to give you a dollar or whatever.
It's like that, But the other way around, it's like
if you're rude to me, I'm gonna take five dollars
out of your account. That's the price. It's the price
to pay for when you're rude. But be interesting to
see how many times she does it before she goes, fuck,
I'm losing money.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
It was so funny though, because like, yes, money is
a discipline, Like I would respond to that instantly, Yeah,
I don't.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Well, that's why we get fined for stuff. That's why
when we park in the wrong place, we get a
fine because then hopefully we won't park in that place again,
so not pay anymore for me.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
My grandparents, my grandfather on my mother's.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
Side, every time we sat down for dinner, because we
were not naughty kids. We were probably just hyperactive, which
would be more classified as you know, different.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Things these days.

Speaker 3 (10:14):
But like we'd get to dinner, we'd sit down, you'd
all be like three, yeah, I had brothers glore, And
then we'd sit down and then like there was a
strap like the belt, my pop's belt sitting on the
table every time without fail, and if you and.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
He never never touched us with it, never.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
But there were a few heightened moments where he would
get it and he would slam it on the table
and it would hit the table that hard that'd started you,
and scare the living shit out of you, and then
you would just eat dinner.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Yeah, the good old days, they got right.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
And so I spun that out on the table and
then all the table like who was sitting at the
tables and went, oh, yeah, this happened to me, And
then this happened to me.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
I said, it's just a different day and age. Now
with parenting, you can't do any of that anyway.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
You can't hit kids with belts anymore. Remember when they
used to have like this is before our time, but
like our parents the caine, you got hit at school
by teachers. It's like, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
The only one teacher that mum remembers, his name was
mister Potter, and she used to say that they had
this rhyme and it's like mister Potter picked a snotter,
put it above your something because he used to pick
his nose and flick it at kids for a discipline.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
I had a teacher pilled mister Potter.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Funny, he.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Didn't pick a snotter me.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
I said to mom what and she went yeah, she
was like sitting there having like full flushbrights to her childhood.
And I said, if a teacher did that to me
at school, I'd be probably suspended or expelled because I
would have punched him in the head.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
That is disgusting.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
It is disgusting.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
Wow that Caine.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
It's not throwing.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Mister Potter picked a snotter. Oh imagine being known for that.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Legacy.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Is a teacher, Mister potterpiced, not