July 17, 2024 • 27 mins
How would you feel if you failed at the one thing you’ve worked tirelessly towards for so long? Imagine being an Olympian, feeling the weight of an entire nation's expectations to win gold. That's the reality for Ariarne Titmus right now.
Ariarne Titmus, a record-holding swimmer, is just days away from competing in the 2024 Paris Olympics. And, although we all see her as a high-performing athlete, that’s not always how she sees herself.
In this conversation, Ariarne shares how success changes relationships, why she doesn’t need a mindset coach, and how she’d trade every medal she’s ever won for a different kind of happiness.
LISTEN TO PART TWO OF THIS CONVERSATION HERE
THE END BITS
Want more Olympics conversations? Check out this episode of The Quicky
Listen to last week's episode: Rob Mills On The Terrifying Thought He Didn't Expect To Have On Stage
GET IN TOUCH:
Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message or email us at podcast@mamamia.com.au
CREDITS:
Host: Clare Stephens
Guest: Ariarne Titmus
Audio Producer: Scott Stronach
Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.
Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome
to but are You Happy? The podcast that asks the
questions you've always wanted to know from the people who
appear to have it all. Arianne Titmas is just twenty
(00:37):
three years old and is the reigning Olympic champion in
the women's two hundred meter and four hundred meter freestyle.
She's the current world record holder in the long course
four hundred meter freestyle event. She is literally the best
in the world at what she does.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Aria Tipmas is hanging on can't you get there? World
records catching up? Come on an get there, come on
down record for can you my good?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And Marvi parist W was primped from her and Horror
Kids a crenting grimmed but I knew world record to
our real Chickson, not other thorns.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
But I wanted to speak to her ahead of the
twenty twenty four Paris Games about how that kind of
success changes the nature of your relationship.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
A lot of people started to come out of the
woodworks that you hadn't spoken to for a long time.
And maybe I knew them for like a snippet here
or there in my life, and people will draw on
one experience they have with you to relate themselves to you. Well,
I contributed to that or I knew her here, And
it was probably the first time in my life I
(01:50):
really started to feel trust issues with people around me.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Why she has intentionally chosen not to have a performance
or mindset coach, and how when it comes to happiness,
she'd trade in every medal she's ever won to achieve
another goal entirely.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
I think it really hit me that I want children
so badly one day It's like my biggest goal in
my life. I would give up every metal I've ever
won to be a mother.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Here's my conversation with Arianne Titmus. Arianne Titmus, sitting in
front of me right now. You are not far from
competing in the Paris Olympics. You appear to me to
be in peak physical form, although I'm not the expert
when it comes to that. You just you look incredibly healthy.
(02:39):
And you're the reigning Olympic champion in the women's two
hundred meter and four hundred meter freestyle, having won both
events at the twenty twenty Olympics and you're the world
record holder in the four hundred meter freestyle. I want
to start in the present moment. How would you describe
(03:00):
your life as it is right now?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
I would say my life as it is right now
is probably as physically and mentally tough as a would
possibly be. I think right now I'm in the absolute
crux of preparing for an Olympic Games, and my life
is kind of in hibernation outside of training. I've pretty
much had to put my social life, work, outside of swimming,
(03:25):
everything on the back burner. There's really no time for
anything else other than training. But you have to be
content with that decision and that choice, because at the
end of the day, it's a once in a lifetime
opportunity to compete in Olympic Games, and then even more
so to have the chance to race for gold and
be a legitimate chance. You really have to be content
(03:46):
with the decisions you make, to be able to prioritize
the training in my life and then know that really
it'll be all over very quickly.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It feels like such a rare skill to be able
to put that future goal on a pedestal and sacrifice
the present for that. And I think that's what a
lot of us struggle with is day to day. We
might have a goal that we're working towards, but the
(04:17):
short term gratifications in front of us are so much
that we stop working towards that. Do you ever feel
like you're missing out on stuff in the moment because
you're working so hard for those goals, like missing out
on being in your twenties and going out and partying
or traveling or anything like that because you're working on
(04:38):
such a long term goal.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I think a few years ago, definitely before my first
Olympic Games, I always said to myself or my friends
that asked me this, do you feel like you sacrifice
a part of your life? And I used to always
say no, because these are choices that I make, and
I get to live such an incredible life and travel
the world and represent our country and I've made friends
overseas and I get to do something that not many
(05:01):
people get to do. But then after the last Olympics,
when I had, I guess, my real first time away
from the sport, I got to experience a lot of
things that I missed out on growing up. I got
to really immerse myself into figuring out who I was
outside of swimming and spending time with my family and
friends and not having to have at the back of
(05:23):
my mind or worry about training the next morning. And
one of my friends is saying to me a lot
at the moment because pretty much the only thing I
can do to hang out with my friends is cook
dinner at home and lay on the couch or get
a coffee or do something really simple. And she keeps
saying to me, Oh, my gosh, I can't wait till
you're just a normal person in a few months time.
(05:43):
But I think the same thing as well. But then
I also say, you know what, I have this one
chance to go for it. I'm only young once. A
lot of people would dream to be in my position,
and I think I would regret it for the rest
of my life if I resented the work that I
have to put in. And I should be grateful that
(06:03):
I've been blessed with this incredible gift and opportunity. And
so I think it's more the choices you make and
not so much sacrifices. And if you look at it
that way, I think it becomes a lot easier to
live the life of a professional athlete.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
You had huge success at the Tokyo Olympics and you
were just Australia's Golden girl, and it was there were
memes about Dean and just how much joy he got
from watching you. I can imagine that is some of
the greatest success a person could imagine at an incredibly
(06:42):
young age. But you say there were parts of that
that the world would think it was the absolute happiest
moment of your life, that that would be conducive to
pure unbridled happiness. But you've kind of said it was
a bit more complicated than that. Do you want to
speak about that a little bit?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yeah, I think there's like a few aspects to it.
For me, going into those games, I definitely knew there
was an expect on me to win, like there is
going into these ones. And for me when I did
win the four hundred, and it wasn't a sense of
joy or happiness that I kind of initially felt. It
(07:24):
was relief and like a thank God, like the monkey's
off my back. And when you really think about it,
that's probably not how you should feel when you've achieved
your greatest dream. And once the games were over and
things started to sink in a little bit. Then I
did start to feel the joy in elation that you
(07:45):
should feel, and I finally realized what I had achieved.
But one thing is when you're preparing for an event
like an Olympics, like I am now in the final stages,
you really have to know who in a circle is
and have a small group of friends and family around
you that truly understand what you are preparing for and
understand that maybe I don't have time for them right
(08:08):
now and that's okay, but they completely stand that. And
one thing that really hit me after the last Olympics
was I got so many messages of support and congratulations
and it's overwhelming. And I definitely did feel the support
from hundreds of people, but a lot of people started
(08:28):
to come out of the woodworks that you hadn't spoken
to for a long time, and maybe I knew them
for like a snippet here or there in my life,
and people will draw on one experience they have with
you to relate themselves to you. Well, I contributed to
that or I knew her here, And it was probably
the first time in my life I really started to
(08:48):
feel trust issues with people around me. I have always
been someone who's had my heart on my sleeve. I
have no filter. I say it how it is, and
I've always trusted people quite easily and felt like I
had a pretty good gut feel and good read on
people around me. And I questioned whether people wanted to
(09:11):
be in my life and be my friend because of
who I am at the core and who I am
as a person as arian me, or whether they wanted
a piece of me just because I was this new
golden bill in the limelight and they could draw on that.
And it was really hard to navigate that, and even
though there was so many people around me, I felt
(09:33):
quite isolated and had to really think about who I
could truly trust in those moments. And you figure it
out quickly, because as soon as I guess the whole
Olympic hype dies down, you realize who still hangs on
and still wants to check in and see you and
make sure you're okay. So I think that's something that
I really had to learn to navigate. And I was
(09:55):
not even twenty one when I wanted the last Olympics,
and so it's something pretty challenging to navigate. But I
feel really lucky that I do genuinely have a really
great close group around me.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
It's something that you think a lot of successful people
must experience, and people don't talk about it a lot
that I can imagine. I mean, if I'd gone to
primary school with you, I would have been thinking, yeah, no,
we were best friends and one time we raised and
I just really think I motivated her, and so I
can understand how that happens. Why do you think it
(10:31):
feels so disappointing? Was there anything kind of hurtful about
people reaching out? Does it make you feel like your
only worth is in that external success when people reach
out to.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
You like that, Yeah, I swim, I'm not a swimmer.
Swimming is an aspect of my life, and at the
moment it's a major aspect of my life, but it's
not who I am, and a lot of people never
ever ever wanted a piece of me before all this
success came. So it does kind of put your worth
(11:04):
on the joy and success from tangible things like Olympic
gold medals. But I was having a conversation with someone
the other day and what we said was, I'm going
to go to these paras Olympics, and of course I
have big goals, but you can't let your joy be
determined by what you do and don't achieve. And I
(11:26):
think that that's what I've realized now, that you can't
base someone or look at someone and think you know
who they are because of what they've achieved in the world.
And so I think that's something that I've realized, and
it's also made me realize definitely in tough times since
the last Olympics. You go through tough times and you
(11:46):
realize who you real people are and they still want
just as much of you, even when you're not the
best version of yourself. And so I think that's also
probably been a wonderful thing that's come out of it.
Since the last Olympics, met so many incredible people and
a lot of them have stuck around, and so that's
a positive I guess that I'll take from the experience
(12:06):
as well.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Coming up, Marianne talks about what it was like for
her whole family to move into State to support her swimming,
and the anxiety of not fitting in when they got there.
So you were in Tasmania and your training and then
(12:29):
you and your family moved to Brisbane in order to
have the best training you could possibly have. I think
you've said something about how being in Tasmania wasn't conducive
to super high performance, which is fascinating because Brisbane is
just where the best people are for swimming. So you
(12:50):
move to Brisbane, but that means a total upheaval of
your life. How old were you and what changes and
challenges did you face when you moved to Brisbane.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, so I was fourteen when we made the move,
and I will be forever grateful for my family to
do that. I look at a fourteen year old girl
now who's Sumi, and I think to myself, how did
my mom and dad have the belief in me to
think that she's going to make it and quit their
jobs look for new work. I remember we moved to
(13:23):
Brisbane and we legitimately didn't have a place to live.
We stayed with my coach at the time, had a
friend who had a spare bedroom and we all stayed
in there together, the four of us, for like two
weeks until we found a rental. And I think there
were a few challenges. I mean, growing up in Tazzy,
I had the most incredible childhood, Like Loncessen is such
(13:45):
a small town and I never had to make a
friend in my life. I went through primary school and
then went into high school. My entire class went to
the same high school, and I never had to try
and fit in. I guess everyone knows everyone in Tazzy
and I enjoyed that small town vibe a lot. I
(14:05):
always said to myself, I would never want to live
in a big city, even the thought of moving. A
couple of years prior to moving, I was adamant we
were not. But then it wasn't until I think I
really truly realized if I wanted to make something of
myself as an athlete. I was kind of left with
no choice and I was just very lucky that my
parents were willing to back me. But coming to Brisbane,
(14:27):
I remember before we left we were looking at schools
and where to go, and I was very lucky. I
was offered a swimming scholarship to one of Brisbane's top
private girls schools. And Tazzy can be a bit rough
around the edges, but so proud of it, and came
into this entirely new environment that I'd never been exposed
to before. With it was so prim and proper and
(14:50):
just exposed to girls that had been brought up in
such a privileged lifestyle. I was just blown away with
everything and totally didn't feel like I fit in and
you almost have to fake it. And I'm very lucky
that I had my swimming to kind of draw back on,
and that's why we moved. But it was really challenging,
(15:10):
and my dad actually stayed back in Tazzy for six
months working while he was looking for work up here,
and my mom and dad had never spent that long
a part and it was really challenging on them. And
I still feel like, really like I owe them for
putting them through that, and so that was definitely a
big challenge for us. And it was really tough in
(15:32):
the beginning to make friends as well, Like going into
an all girls school in year ten is really hard.
So I found that really challenging actually when I think
back on it. But I'm lucky that when I then
moved swimming clubs to where I trained now at Saint Peter's,
you had to go to school to swim there, so
in the squad I had once I moved there, I
(15:54):
had a bunch of friends that I walked up the
hill to school with, so I had that when I
moved schools for swimming, but in the beginning it was
actually really hard. I'd never been excluded or felt like
I didn't fit into my entire life, but I definitely
would say that I felt that in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I can't imagine that decision from your family and then
the pressure that you'd feel to be like, oh wow,
I better actually work hard at training if they've made
this decision for me. And that contrast of coming from
your sharing a room and then turning up to a
(16:33):
private school and knowing that you've got a bit of
a different lifestyle to the others must have been really jarring.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Yeah it was, and you just have to pretend. I
guess I was just blown away, like I'd never seen
wealth like it in my life. You know, kids getting
dropped off to school in their dad's ferrari or whatever,
and you're just exposed to that in little old contestins. Yeah. So, yeah,
it was a whole new experience for me. But at
the same time, I was also juggling like the expectation
(17:02):
to truly make it as a swimmer, Like I never
ever felt a sense of pressure for it all to
come to fruish from my mum and Dad like, that's
something that I will be always so grateful for. I
never ever felt a sense of you have to make it.
We've made this big sacrifice for you. I never ever
felt that from them, but within myself I did because
(17:25):
it was such a huge sacrifice and a massive upheople
of our life that if it hadn't have all happened,
I think I would have felt like I'd let them down.
So I was managing that as well. So I remember
when we first moved, I was training so hard. I
just was doing everything I possibly could to become a success,
and then it would have been within a year and
(17:46):
a half that I made the Australian team. So I
guess it all did happen, but it could have easily
gone the other way.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, and that's the risk you've got to take after
the break. Arianne shares what happened when she had a
scant and doctors made a worrying discovery. You had a
bit of a scary experience late last year with a
(18:18):
health issue, having a scan and finding some ovarian cysts.
When that happened, what kind of impact did that have
on your mental health and where were you in terms
of your happiness when there's such a big threat to
(18:41):
your health and your well being.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I just kind of got back into the group of
swimming after a break following Worlds last year, so I
was still kind of in mind. I wasn't taking training
too seriously. I was back and I was getting fit again,
but we weren't in the super specific crux of high
performance training yet because we just came back off a break.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And when you have a break from swimming, are you
not swimming or are you still training but just not
as hard as you usually do.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
I had two weeks out of the water. Oh wow,
so yeah, yeah, so nice little sabbatical, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.
When I get back in the water after two weeks,
I feel like I forgot how to swim. Wow. Yeah.
So I was kind of getting my groove back a
little bit. And prior to World's last year, I had
a bit of a I've had a hip injury ongoing
(19:30):
for a few years that kind of flares up and
goes away, and we didn't bother about getting a scan
before Worlds because I was doing everything I could. It
was just a bit of pain management. But I said
to my physio when I come back and I've got
more time on my hands and training is not as hectic.
Let's scan my hip. I just want to know what's
going on in there. And when I did my scan
foot nothing of it. I was thinking it was going
(19:51):
to just be something to do with the tendon in
my hip. Flakes are and I remember my physio told
me everything with my hip, which was fine, and she said, oh,
has the doctor phoned you? And I said no, but
like she's like, oh, just wait for him to call you.
I said, oh, can't you tell me, because when they
say that, you know something's wrong. Yeah. So I rang
my doctor straight away, and so he told me that
(20:13):
they'd scanned me very thoroughly and they'd found on the
right ovary, which was the opposite side to my sore hip,
this big growth and they thought it was a dermoid
to start with, which is what it ended up being,
but they still can't really tell. So she said, you
need to go and see your go on to acologist.
And I'm very lucky that I have a great relationship
(20:33):
with her anyway, So I said straight away, like I
want her to do the surgery if that's what I need.
And she said to me, well, you need to go
and do all these tests. I need you to go
and do cancer markers. I need you to go and
have an internal ultrasound to figure out how big it
is to help navigate the surgery, and we need to
make up like a rehab plan. And I was like, oh,
you know, I'll be able to go back in the
(20:55):
water in a week or whatever, and she said, no,
like you need to have like a proper time out
of the water, Like an incision through your abdominalt wall
is like a proper thing. And I was like, this
can't be real, Like I can't be in the peak
of my athletic career and getting blood tests for cancer
on my ovaries. And for me, I think the biggest
(21:16):
thing was once we found out what it was, and
it was pretty harmless, but it was huge. It was
eight by seven centimeters, which is just incredible that it
was inside me for so long, and I didn't realize.
I think once all the surgery happened and I was
fine and everything was all good and I was recovering,
the thing that I realized was that it put a
(21:38):
lot in my life into perspective. It really hit me
that I want children so badly one day it's like
my biggest goal in my life. I would give up
every metal I've ever won to be a mother. And
I just feel so lucky now that I'm fine and
I still get to train every day and chase my
goals in the pool, but also hopefully be a mum too.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Sometimes I think life does that on purpose. I found
when I'm going too far down a path where I'm
very focused on achievement or very focused on outcomes, You'll
have this scary moment like that that you go, oh,
hold on, none of that matters. What matters is my health,
(22:22):
Like the fact that it reminds you in a scary
way that you have so much to be grateful for
and so much could be taken away out of your control.
You have talked a little bit about when you're training
and competing, you have to work quite hard to block
(22:47):
out the noise, whether that's social media or actual media,
things being written about you, the expectations and the pressure
that people are putting on you. How does that work?
Because the idea that you consider that noise and you've
kind of just got to focus on the task at
hand seems so obvious, But I think it's something most
(23:09):
of us don't think about seeing that as a bit
of a decision to block out things like social media
that are so unnecessary. When you're now training and going
to the paras Olympics, are you going to completely get
off social media and try and block out all of
(23:29):
that for want of a better word, bullshit.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Yeah, Well, Olympic sport is quite strange how I mean,
swimming gets a little bit of media attention every year
when we go away and compete internationally and we do incredible.
I mean last year we top the metal tally, which
is unreal. And then but as an Olympic sport that
is so successful, I don't think you're prepared for the
(23:54):
massive amount of who hear around swimming once every four years.
So for me, I know a lot of the well
wishes and media articles and write ups and everything about
swimming all comes mostly from a good place. But when
you read every time how everyone thinks, how great you are,
(24:18):
everyone thinks you're going to win, it can kind of
like build up, build up, build up, and make you realize,
oh shit, Like if I don't win, people are going
to be sad, not just me, but I've let people down,
and so I think The best thing I do is
the expectations that I put on myself, and the goals
I set have to be firmer than what I feel
(24:41):
from external noise. I guess. So what I do do
is at Olympics, I delete every social media off my phone.
Even if you're getting hundreds and thousands of messages of
well wishes and congratulations, it's way too overwhelming to even
deal with. One. You can sit there for hours reading
it and then you're like, oh shit, I'm not asleep,
(25:03):
so then my effectual performance. But two. At an Olympics
it is a pressure cooker environment. You have to keep
the lead on the entire time, and one tiny thing
that can release the valve could undo your entire week.
So I just think it's not even worth engaging in
any of it. So I won't be on anything while
(25:24):
I'm racing. I'll probably get my manager to run my Instagram,
and then once I go back on when I finished racing,
I remember last time, it was the most unreal feeling,
like seeing all the support all at once, but it's
just with the task at hand. At an Olympic Games,
it's the most exhausting week of your life. You just
(25:46):
can't afford to engage at all in anything else.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I think that's probably something a lot of us should
be aware of that if we've got a massive goal,
social media isn't helping in such a distraction for everyone.
And I mean, I can imagine with swimming, and when
what you're doing is so incredibly public, it's just even
more of a distruction.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Could be wrong. There's a lot of good stuff, but
there's also a lot of crap, and there's a lot
of people with opinions that don't matter.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Arianne and I had such an incredible conversation that we
decided to split this final episode of the season into
two parts just to share the entire interview with you.
You can listen to part two right after this there's
a link in the show notes. In part two, we
dive deeper into the reality of preparing for the Olympic Games,
how Arianne would feel if she doesn't win gold in Paris,
(26:44):
and her biggest personal insecurities outside of swimming. She also
reveals if she has a backup plan for life after
retirement from the sport. This episode was produced by Tarlie Blackman,
with audio production by Scott Stronik.
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome
to but are You Happy? The podcast that asks the
questions you've always wanted to know from the people who
appear to have it all. Arianne Titmas is just twenty
(00:37):
three years old and is the reigning Olympic champion in
the women's two hundred meter and four hundred meter freestyle.
She's the current world record holder in the long course
four hundred meter freestyle event. She is literally the best
in the world at what she does.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Aria Tipmas is hanging on can't you get there? World
records catching up? Come on an get there, come on
down record for can you my good?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
And Marvi parist W was primped from her and Horror
Kids a crenting grimmed but I knew world record to
our real Chickson, not other thorns.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
But I wanted to speak to her ahead of the
twenty twenty four Paris Games about how that kind of
success changes the nature of your relationship.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
A lot of people started to come out of the
woodworks that you hadn't spoken to for a long time.
And maybe I knew them for like a snippet here
or there in my life, and people will draw on
one experience they have with you to relate themselves to you. Well,
I contributed to that or I knew her here, And
it was probably the first time in my life I
(01:50):
really started to feel trust issues with people around me.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Why she has intentionally chosen not to have a performance
or mindset coach, and how when it comes to happiness,
she'd trade in every medal she's ever won to achieve
another goal entirely.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
I think it really hit me that I want children
so badly one day It's like my biggest goal in
my life. I would give up every metal I've ever
won to be a mother.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Here's my conversation with Arianne Titmus. Arianne Titmus, sitting in
front of me right now. You are not far from
competing in the Paris Olympics. You appear to me to
be in peak physical form, although I'm not the expert
when it comes to that. You just you look incredibly healthy.
(02:39):
And you're the reigning Olympic champion in the women's two
hundred meter and four hundred meter freestyle, having won both
events at the twenty twenty Olympics and you're the world
record holder in the four hundred meter freestyle. I want
to start in the present moment. How would you describe
(03:00):
your life as it is right now?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
I would say my life as it is right now
is probably as physically and mentally tough as a would
possibly be. I think right now I'm in the absolute
crux of preparing for an Olympic Games, and my life
is kind of in hibernation outside of training. I've pretty
much had to put my social life, work, outside of swimming,
(03:25):
everything on the back burner. There's really no time for
anything else other than training. But you have to be
content with that decision and that choice, because at the
end of the day, it's a once in a lifetime
opportunity to compete in Olympic Games, and then even more
so to have the chance to race for gold and
be a legitimate chance. You really have to be content
(03:46):
with the decisions you make, to be able to prioritize
the training in my life and then know that really
it'll be all over very quickly.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It feels like such a rare skill to be able
to put that future goal on a pedestal and sacrifice
the present for that. And I think that's what a
lot of us struggle with is day to day. We
might have a goal that we're working towards, but the
(04:17):
short term gratifications in front of us are so much
that we stop working towards that. Do you ever feel
like you're missing out on stuff in the moment because
you're working so hard for those goals, like missing out
on being in your twenties and going out and partying
or traveling or anything like that because you're working on
(04:38):
such a long term goal.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I think a few years ago, definitely before my first
Olympic Games, I always said to myself or my friends
that asked me this, do you feel like you sacrifice
a part of your life? And I used to always
say no, because these are choices that I make, and
I get to live such an incredible life and travel
the world and represent our country and I've made friends
overseas and I get to do something that not many
(05:01):
people get to do. But then after the last Olympics,
when I had, I guess, my real first time away
from the sport, I got to experience a lot of
things that I missed out on growing up. I got
to really immerse myself into figuring out who I was
outside of swimming and spending time with my family and
friends and not having to have at the back of
(05:23):
my mind or worry about training the next morning. And
one of my friends is saying to me a lot
at the moment because pretty much the only thing I
can do to hang out with my friends is cook
dinner at home and lay on the couch or get
a coffee or do something really simple. And she keeps
saying to me, Oh, my gosh, I can't wait till
you're just a normal person in a few months time.
(05:43):
But I think the same thing as well. But then
I also say, you know what, I have this one
chance to go for it. I'm only young once. A
lot of people would dream to be in my position,
and I think I would regret it for the rest
of my life if I resented the work that I
have to put in. And I should be grateful that
(06:03):
I've been blessed with this incredible gift and opportunity. And
so I think it's more the choices you make and
not so much sacrifices. And if you look at it
that way, I think it becomes a lot easier to
live the life of a professional athlete.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
You had huge success at the Tokyo Olympics and you
were just Australia's Golden girl, and it was there were
memes about Dean and just how much joy he got
from watching you. I can imagine that is some of
the greatest success a person could imagine at an incredibly
(06:42):
young age. But you say there were parts of that
that the world would think it was the absolute happiest
moment of your life, that that would be conducive to
pure unbridled happiness. But you've kind of said it was
a bit more complicated than that. Do you want to
speak about that a little bit?
Speaker 4 (07:02):
Yeah, I think there's like a few aspects to it.
For me, going into those games, I definitely knew there
was an expect on me to win, like there is
going into these ones. And for me when I did
win the four hundred, and it wasn't a sense of
joy or happiness that I kind of initially felt. It
(07:24):
was relief and like a thank God, like the monkey's
off my back. And when you really think about it,
that's probably not how you should feel when you've achieved
your greatest dream. And once the games were over and
things started to sink in a little bit. Then I
did start to feel the joy in elation that you
(07:45):
should feel, and I finally realized what I had achieved.
But one thing is when you're preparing for an event
like an Olympics, like I am now in the final stages,
you really have to know who in a circle is
and have a small group of friends and family around
you that truly understand what you are preparing for and
understand that maybe I don't have time for them right
(08:08):
now and that's okay, but they completely stand that. And
one thing that really hit me after the last Olympics
was I got so many messages of support and congratulations
and it's overwhelming. And I definitely did feel the support
from hundreds of people, but a lot of people started
(08:28):
to come out of the woodworks that you hadn't spoken
to for a long time, and maybe I knew them
for like a snippet here or there in my life,
and people will draw on one experience they have with
you to relate themselves to you. Well, I contributed to
that or I knew her here, And it was probably
the first time in my life I really started to
(08:48):
feel trust issues with people around me. I have always
been someone who's had my heart on my sleeve. I
have no filter. I say it how it is, and
I've always trusted people quite easily and felt like I
had a pretty good gut feel and good read on
people around me. And I questioned whether people wanted to
(09:11):
be in my life and be my friend because of
who I am at the core and who I am
as a person as arian me, or whether they wanted
a piece of me just because I was this new
golden bill in the limelight and they could draw on that.
And it was really hard to navigate that, and even
though there was so many people around me, I felt
(09:33):
quite isolated and had to really think about who I
could truly trust in those moments. And you figure it
out quickly, because as soon as I guess the whole
Olympic hype dies down, you realize who still hangs on
and still wants to check in and see you and
make sure you're okay. So I think that's something that
I really had to learn to navigate. And I was
(09:55):
not even twenty one when I wanted the last Olympics,
and so it's something pretty challenging to navigate. But I
feel really lucky that I do genuinely have a really
great close group around me.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
It's something that you think a lot of successful people
must experience, and people don't talk about it a lot
that I can imagine. I mean, if I'd gone to
primary school with you, I would have been thinking, yeah, no,
we were best friends and one time we raised and
I just really think I motivated her, and so I
can understand how that happens. Why do you think it
(10:31):
feels so disappointing? Was there anything kind of hurtful about
people reaching out? Does it make you feel like your
only worth is in that external success when people reach
out to.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
You like that, Yeah, I swim, I'm not a swimmer.
Swimming is an aspect of my life, and at the
moment it's a major aspect of my life, but it's
not who I am, and a lot of people never
ever ever wanted a piece of me before all this
success came. So it does kind of put your worth
(11:04):
on the joy and success from tangible things like Olympic
gold medals. But I was having a conversation with someone
the other day and what we said was, I'm going
to go to these paras Olympics, and of course I
have big goals, but you can't let your joy be
determined by what you do and don't achieve. And I
(11:26):
think that that's what I've realized now, that you can't
base someone or look at someone and think you know
who they are because of what they've achieved in the world.
And so I think that's something that I've realized, and
it's also made me realize definitely in tough times since
the last Olympics. You go through tough times and you
(11:46):
realize who you real people are and they still want
just as much of you, even when you're not the
best version of yourself. And so I think that's also
probably been a wonderful thing that's come out of it.
Since the last Olympics, met so many incredible people and
a lot of them have stuck around, and so that's
a positive I guess that I'll take from the experience
(12:06):
as well.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Coming up, Marianne talks about what it was like for
her whole family to move into State to support her swimming,
and the anxiety of not fitting in when they got there.
So you were in Tasmania and your training and then
(12:29):
you and your family moved to Brisbane in order to
have the best training you could possibly have. I think
you've said something about how being in Tasmania wasn't conducive
to super high performance, which is fascinating because Brisbane is
just where the best people are for swimming. So you
(12:50):
move to Brisbane, but that means a total upheaval of
your life. How old were you and what changes and
challenges did you face when you moved to Brisbane.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Yeah, so I was fourteen when we made the move,
and I will be forever grateful for my family to
do that. I look at a fourteen year old girl
now who's Sumi, and I think to myself, how did
my mom and dad have the belief in me to
think that she's going to make it and quit their
jobs look for new work. I remember we moved to
(13:23):
Brisbane and we legitimately didn't have a place to live.
We stayed with my coach at the time, had a
friend who had a spare bedroom and we all stayed
in there together, the four of us, for like two
weeks until we found a rental. And I think there
were a few challenges. I mean, growing up in Tazzy,
I had the most incredible childhood, Like Loncessen is such
(13:45):
a small town and I never had to make a
friend in my life. I went through primary school and
then went into high school. My entire class went to
the same high school, and I never had to try
and fit in. I guess everyone knows everyone in Tazzy
and I enjoyed that small town vibe a lot. I
(14:05):
always said to myself, I would never want to live
in a big city, even the thought of moving. A
couple of years prior to moving, I was adamant we
were not. But then it wasn't until I think I
really truly realized if I wanted to make something of
myself as an athlete. I was kind of left with
no choice and I was just very lucky that my
parents were willing to back me. But coming to Brisbane,
(14:27):
I remember before we left we were looking at schools
and where to go, and I was very lucky. I
was offered a swimming scholarship to one of Brisbane's top
private girls schools. And Tazzy can be a bit rough
around the edges, but so proud of it, and came
into this entirely new environment that I'd never been exposed
to before. With it was so prim and proper and
(14:50):
just exposed to girls that had been brought up in
such a privileged lifestyle. I was just blown away with
everything and totally didn't feel like I fit in and
you almost have to fake it. And I'm very lucky
that I had my swimming to kind of draw back on,
and that's why we moved. But it was really challenging,
(15:10):
and my dad actually stayed back in Tazzy for six
months working while he was looking for work up here,
and my mom and dad had never spent that long
a part and it was really challenging on them. And
I still feel like, really like I owe them for
putting them through that, and so that was definitely a
big challenge for us. And it was really tough in
(15:32):
the beginning to make friends as well, Like going into
an all girls school in year ten is really hard.
So I found that really challenging actually when I think
back on it. But I'm lucky that when I then
moved swimming clubs to where I trained now at Saint Peter's,
you had to go to school to swim there, so
in the squad I had once I moved there, I
(15:54):
had a bunch of friends that I walked up the
hill to school with, so I had that when I
moved schools for swimming, but in the beginning it was
actually really hard. I'd never been excluded or felt like
I didn't fit into my entire life, but I definitely
would say that I felt that in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I can't imagine that decision from your family and then
the pressure that you'd feel to be like, oh wow,
I better actually work hard at training if they've made
this decision for me. And that contrast of coming from
your sharing a room and then turning up to a
(16:33):
private school and knowing that you've got a bit of
a different lifestyle to the others must have been really jarring.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Yeah it was, and you just have to pretend. I
guess I was just blown away, like I'd never seen
wealth like it in my life. You know, kids getting
dropped off to school in their dad's ferrari or whatever,
and you're just exposed to that in little old contestins. Yeah. So, yeah,
it was a whole new experience for me. But at
the same time, I was also juggling like the expectation
(17:02):
to truly make it as a swimmer, Like I never
ever felt a sense of pressure for it all to
come to fruish from my mum and Dad like, that's
something that I will be always so grateful for. I
never ever felt a sense of you have to make it.
We've made this big sacrifice for you. I never ever
felt that from them, but within myself I did because
(17:25):
it was such a huge sacrifice and a massive upheople
of our life that if it hadn't have all happened,
I think I would have felt like I'd let them down.
So I was managing that as well. So I remember
when we first moved, I was training so hard. I
just was doing everything I possibly could to become a success,
and then it would have been within a year and
(17:46):
a half that I made the Australian team. So I
guess it all did happen, but it could have easily
gone the other way.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, and that's the risk you've got to take after
the break. Arianne shares what happened when she had a
scant and doctors made a worrying discovery. You had a
bit of a scary experience late last year with a
(18:18):
health issue, having a scan and finding some ovarian cysts.
When that happened, what kind of impact did that have
on your mental health and where were you in terms
of your happiness when there's such a big threat to
(18:41):
your health and your well being.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
I just kind of got back into the group of
swimming after a break following Worlds last year, so I
was still kind of in mind. I wasn't taking training
too seriously. I was back and I was getting fit again,
but we weren't in the super specific crux of high
performance training yet because we just came back off a break.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And when you have a break from swimming, are you
not swimming or are you still training but just not
as hard as you usually do.
Speaker 4 (19:09):
I had two weeks out of the water. Oh wow,
so yeah, yeah, so nice little sabbatical, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.
When I get back in the water after two weeks,
I feel like I forgot how to swim. Wow. Yeah.
So I was kind of getting my groove back a
little bit. And prior to World's last year, I had
a bit of a I've had a hip injury ongoing
(19:30):
for a few years that kind of flares up and
goes away, and we didn't bother about getting a scan
before Worlds because I was doing everything I could. It
was just a bit of pain management. But I said
to my physio when I come back and I've got
more time on my hands and training is not as hectic.
Let's scan my hip. I just want to know what's
going on in there. And when I did my scan
foot nothing of it. I was thinking it was going
(19:51):
to just be something to do with the tendon in
my hip. Flakes are and I remember my physio told
me everything with my hip, which was fine, and she said, oh,
has the doctor phoned you? And I said no, but
like she's like, oh, just wait for him to call you.
I said, oh, can't you tell me, because when they
say that, you know something's wrong. Yeah. So I rang
my doctor straight away, and so he told me that
(20:13):
they'd scanned me very thoroughly and they'd found on the
right ovary, which was the opposite side to my sore hip,
this big growth and they thought it was a dermoid
to start with, which is what it ended up being,
but they still can't really tell. So she said, you
need to go and see your go on to acologist.
And I'm very lucky that I have a great relationship
(20:33):
with her anyway, So I said straight away, like I
want her to do the surgery if that's what I need.
And she said to me, well, you need to go
and do all these tests. I need you to go
and do cancer markers. I need you to go and
have an internal ultrasound to figure out how big it
is to help navigate the surgery, and we need to
make up like a rehab plan. And I was like, oh,
you know, I'll be able to go back in the
(20:55):
water in a week or whatever, and she said, no,
like you need to have like a proper time out
of the water, Like an incision through your abdominalt wall
is like a proper thing. And I was like, this
can't be real, Like I can't be in the peak
of my athletic career and getting blood tests for cancer
on my ovaries. And for me, I think the biggest
(21:16):
thing was once we found out what it was, and
it was pretty harmless, but it was huge. It was
eight by seven centimeters, which is just incredible that it
was inside me for so long, and I didn't realize.
I think once all the surgery happened and I was
fine and everything was all good and I was recovering,
the thing that I realized was that it put a
(21:38):
lot in my life into perspective. It really hit me
that I want children so badly one day it's like
my biggest goal in my life. I would give up
every metal I've ever won to be a mother. And
I just feel so lucky now that I'm fine and
I still get to train every day and chase my
goals in the pool, but also hopefully be a mum too.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Sometimes I think life does that on purpose. I found
when I'm going too far down a path where I'm
very focused on achievement or very focused on outcomes, You'll
have this scary moment like that that you go, oh,
hold on, none of that matters. What matters is my health,
(22:22):
Like the fact that it reminds you in a scary
way that you have so much to be grateful for
and so much could be taken away out of your control.
You have talked a little bit about when you're training
and competing, you have to work quite hard to block
(22:47):
out the noise, whether that's social media or actual media,
things being written about you, the expectations and the pressure
that people are putting on you. How does that work?
Because the idea that you consider that noise and you've
kind of just got to focus on the task at
hand seems so obvious, But I think it's something most
(23:09):
of us don't think about seeing that as a bit
of a decision to block out things like social media
that are so unnecessary. When you're now training and going
to the paras Olympics, are you going to completely get
off social media and try and block out all of
(23:29):
that for want of a better word, bullshit.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
Yeah, Well, Olympic sport is quite strange how I mean,
swimming gets a little bit of media attention every year
when we go away and compete internationally and we do incredible.
I mean last year we top the metal tally, which
is unreal. And then but as an Olympic sport that
is so successful, I don't think you're prepared for the
(23:54):
massive amount of who hear around swimming once every four years.
So for me, I know a lot of the well
wishes and media articles and write ups and everything about
swimming all comes mostly from a good place. But when
you read every time how everyone thinks, how great you are,
(24:18):
everyone thinks you're going to win, it can kind of
like build up, build up, build up, and make you realize,
oh shit, Like if I don't win, people are going
to be sad, not just me, but I've let people down,
and so I think The best thing I do is
the expectations that I put on myself, and the goals
I set have to be firmer than what I feel
(24:41):
from external noise. I guess. So what I do do
is at Olympics, I delete every social media off my phone.
Even if you're getting hundreds and thousands of messages of
well wishes and congratulations, it's way too overwhelming to even
deal with. One. You can sit there for hours reading
it and then you're like, oh shit, I'm not asleep,
(25:03):
so then my effectual performance. But two. At an Olympics
it is a pressure cooker environment. You have to keep
the lead on the entire time, and one tiny thing
that can release the valve could undo your entire week.
So I just think it's not even worth engaging in
any of it. So I won't be on anything while
(25:24):
I'm racing. I'll probably get my manager to run my Instagram,
and then once I go back on when I finished racing,
I remember last time, it was the most unreal feeling,
like seeing all the support all at once, but it's
just with the task at hand. At an Olympic Games,
it's the most exhausting week of your life. You just
(25:46):
can't afford to engage at all in anything else.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I think that's probably something a lot of us should
be aware of that if we've got a massive goal,
social media isn't helping in such a distraction for everyone.
And I mean, I can imagine with swimming, and when
what you're doing is so incredibly public, it's just even
more of a distruction.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Could be wrong. There's a lot of good stuff, but
there's also a lot of crap, and there's a lot
of people with opinions that don't matter.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Arianne and I had such an incredible conversation that we
decided to split this final episode of the season into
two parts just to share the entire interview with you.
You can listen to part two right after this there's
a link in the show notes. In part two, we
dive deeper into the reality of preparing for the Olympic Games,
how Arianne would feel if she doesn't win gold in Paris,
(26:44):
and her biggest personal insecurities outside of swimming. She also
reveals if she has a backup plan for life after
retirement from the sport. This episode was produced by Tarlie Blackman,
with audio production by Scott Stronik.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!