Ep 7: 'I Never Told You This:' Narayne and Joana

Introducing I Never Told You This: Two People. One big reveal. A simple card deck with questions. Some are light-hearted, some deeper…and one that says ‘I Never Told You This’ - the chance for one person to share something they’ve never told the other before.

In this episode, Joana opens up about postnatal depression and the pressure she felt to be the ‘perfect’ mum — uncovering a shared experience with her daughter she never expected. 

Head to Medibank to learn more about the Family Roast card game that sparked the conversation.

The experiences shared and views expressed are those of the people featured and do not reflect the views of Medibank. This is not health advice. If you or someone you know needs help, you should always consult a trusted health professional. For further support and guidance, visit Medibank Mental Health. Or, if in need of immediate support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and
waters that this podcast is recorded on.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
I'm a Shiny Dante, host of But Are You Happy?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Did you know that.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
One in five Australians experience and mental health condition each year,
yet too many suffer in silence. Talking about our feelings
and experiences is one of the most powerful steps towards
healing and knowing we're not alone. That's why we're introducing
I Never Told You This, a series created to spark honest,
meaningful conversations that support better mental well being. Brought to

(00:46):
you by Medibank, this episode discusses experiences of anxiety, panic
attacks and postnatal depression. Please listen with care and if
it feels like too much right now, you're warmly encouraged
to skip this one or come back to this episode
whenever you're ready.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
Like what if my body does something and I don't
have control over it?

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes? If I fu Yeah, Two people, One big reveal.
I Never Told You This a simple card game where
one question could change everything. It starts like, what s
more things brings your joy? I'm not going to answer that,
then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
As they finished this sentence, I never told you this.

Speaker 4 (01:29):
I've never told you.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
They never told you this.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Today mother and daughter, Johanna and Naraine will be sitting
down together feeling apprehensive.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm feeling nervous.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Johanna has something big to reveal to her daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
I'm feeling confident that it's going to be the right
thing to do. I want to have an in depth
conversation with you today. We've got these Medibank Family Roast
cards to help us with it. I'm going to pick
up a card. Now, what piece of advice would you
give your younger self?

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Don't care people think. I'm wasted a lot of time
doing things I didn't want to do, worried about what
people think. I'm ready to another CARDI.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
You, let's see what it is.

Speaker 4 (02:12):
Tell us about an amazing thing you've seen or done.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Go Upper Mountain. It was practically straight up and down
to see all the sights of Hong Kong. What about
Junior rain. What's the most amazing thing you've ever done?

Speaker 4 (02:27):
Give birth?

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:30):
I sometimes even yeah, sit down and go wow, I
did that? Like you've had four daughters and but like
for me, this was like this huge me trying to
calm you.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Are you swearing at me?

Speaker 4 (02:44):
I don't remember that. I'm going to say plausible deniability
because there's no record of that turn. That never happened.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Okay, time to pull another carry out. Let's have a look.
I never told you this. So you were born six
o'clock in the morning on Valentine's Day. You were the
most beautiful baby I'd ever seen. You were so beautiful.

(03:18):
I kept kissing you. I took you out of the cradle.
They said you got to put her back and not
carry you. As soon as they walk out of the room,
I'd take you and put your on the bed with
me and caddle you. We'd only been here about six
months because when I came from Fiji to Australia, I
was already pregnant with you. I had to deal with
everything myself, even though Dad was there, he had to

(03:40):
go to work. It was very, very hard for me.
So I used to get these panic attacks and anxiety
whilst walking down the street. I would be so afraid
of so much things. I couldn't even get into a car.
I would think that the door was going to open
and I was going to fall out, or that I
myself would open that door, yeah, and jump out to

(04:04):
the point where I had to go back to doctor
and see doctor, and he told me that, you know,
suffering from postnatal depression.

Speaker 4 (04:12):
Do you know what's so crazy? I don't know how
you're only just telling me this now. I've literally had
those same thoughts, really, those exact thoughts where I've been
in a car, like what if my body does something
and I don't have control over it?

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Yes? What if I what?

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Yeah, the rest of this episode of I never told
you this right after the.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Break just imagine you know, I've never shared this with you,
and you've never shared your experience with me.

Speaker 4 (04:47):
But I feel like if you had maybe shared this earlier,
I would have maybe felt less crazy.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
But I didn't know you were going through.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
That because I was doing what you were doing and
just not wanting to tell me about my problems. That's right,
That's right, Wow, Like I was there tracked in my
own hell.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
I felt.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
In cap yeah, you know, and I felt that potentially
if I told people what I was going through, that
they might not see me being fit to parents. Yes,
you know what I mean, that I might be judged
as a mother.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Yeah, that hurts me a lot, Dear, it does, because
you know how much I care for you. It's not
your fault, no, But the thing is, I feel that
I should have been more open with you kids, all
of you, but especially you, because it only happened to
me after I gave birth to you. And for me,
I realized today it's because it was the enormity of

(05:47):
moving to a new country, knowing I had no family
beside me to help me. And when we feel that
everyone is depending on us to solve it, then we
panic and we get the panic attacks that come.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
That's exactly my entire life.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
You were trying to do the best you can and
being pregnant, taking care of your whole and your husband
and family and even lots of other people. You are
a wonderful mother. And I'm not telling you this just
to make you happy or to give false praise. You

(06:25):
are such a good mother. You do I feel think.

Speaker 4 (06:28):
First copying you like, I feel like I'm just emulating
the things that you.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Do, Darling. You're better than me. The way you take
care of your daughter, your home, your family, involved in
the things in school. Gabrielle is so lucky to have
a mom like you. I admire you so much and
so always know that, always know that whenever you feel funny,

(06:52):
or you feel different, or something's maybe going on in
your head, you think to yourself, you're good enough. That's
all that matters.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
I'm so grateful to even like have a mom that
would say that to me. And I just think to
myself as a mother, did you feel good enough? We
obviously think you good enough, but it's like, can you
make me feel that.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
Or do you feel good enough? I don't know. I'm
just the type of person that don't expect much.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
I just feel like a good mother. Do you feel
like do you know that you're Yes?

Speaker 1 (07:25):
I know I'm a good mother. I know I'm a
good mother because I have a lot of love for
my children. And don't ever think that anything you do
is insignificant. Everything you do or you don't do still
means a lot to me. Thank you, Love you, bub