Ep 8: 'I Never Told You This:' Palepa and Poima

Introducing I Never Told You This: Two People. One big reveal. A simple card deck with questions. Some are light-hearted, some deeper…and one that says ‘I Never Told You This’ - the chance for one person to share something they’ve never told the other before.

In episode eight of ‘I Never Told You This’, Palepa opens up to her mum about the struggle of finding her own way in a strict family — and finally admits she’s been keeping her boyfriend a secret.

Head to Medibank to learn more about the Family Roast card game that sparked the conversation.

The experiences shared and views expressed are those of the people featured and do not reflect the views of Medibank. This is not health advice. If you or someone you know needs help, you should always consult a trusted health professional. For further support and guidance, visit Medibank Mental Health. Or, if in need of immediate support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Mamma May I acknowledges the traditional owners of the land
and waters that this podcast is recorded on.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
I'm a Shani Dante, host of But Are You Happy?
Did you know that one in five Australians experience and
mental health condition each year? Yet too many suffer in silence.
Talking about our feelings and experiences is one of the
most powerful steps towards healing and knowing we're not alone.
That's why we're introducing I Never told you This, a

(00:40):
series created to spark honest, meaningful conversations that support better
mental well being, brought to you by Medibank.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
I thought I had everything figured out at that age.
I was doing what I thought was right, but I
wasn't doing what was right for me.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Two people, one big reveal. I never told you this
a simple card game where one question could change everything.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
It starts LI what more things brings me joy?

Speaker 1 (01:07):
I'm not going to answer for that.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.
As they finished this sentence, I never told you this.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
I've never told you. They never told you this.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Today, daughter and mother, Pelepa and Poema will be sitting
down together.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
I'm feeling a mix of emotions, but mainly I'm quite nervous.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Pelepa has something big to reveal to her mother.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
But we'll just see how things go. Hi, how are
you feeling, Mom? Good? It's good to see you look beautiful.

Speaker 4 (01:40):
Thank you, sir.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
I've got these Medibank Family Roast cards. Shall we get started? Yes?
My question? How do you see me?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Mom?

Speaker 3 (01:51):
When you look at me, I see you as my daughter,
my best friend, the one I can trust to talk to.
Most of all, we had the love.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Yeah, mother and daughter.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Can be emotional. I never really expected that to come
from your mom.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Send me about that sign when you were most proud
of me.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
When you were staying with your sisters and your mother
in New Zealand. The engagement that you had which didn't
turn out the way that you wanted it to. I
see that as the biggest blessing because that's when you
booked your flight to come here, and then you paid
your one way ticket to come here to Australia by yourself.
I think that's pretty boss, Mom, you really found your worth.

(02:39):
My turn. I'm going to pick up the card now.
I never told you this, so Mum. You know how
in our psalm One culture, everyone gets married, has kids
at a young age, you know, raises their own families.

(03:01):
I've done the complete different, you know. I've chased after
my careers, through nursing, through film. But there's someone in
my life. So I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
Mum.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
I know it's a lot for you to take on board,
especially now that I've told you the news, but I
wanted to be sure that I was making the right choice,
which is why I've only just told you now. But
nothing will ever change the way that I love you,
I love my dad, and I love my brother. My
responsibilities will remain the same.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
That's what I saw. That's a change in Okay, And
now you do, I'm so sure to be always share. Yeah,
you have to respond between us.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
This is the burden that I've been carrying. It's just
trying to find the right time to tell you. And
I always knew that in our family, whenever I told
you and Dad something I wanted to do, the answer
would be no reconsider You need to think of us.
You need to think of the family.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
Always problems because there is no family difference.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Sometimes I forget my voice whenever I'm around our family,
around you and Dad, and it's not resentment, but because
it's always been packed on obedience and just listening to
that one voice. I forget that voice. Since him, He's
allowed me to find my voice. He would tell me

(04:36):
to talk, even if it meant tears first before talking.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
The rest of this episode of I never told you
this right after the break.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
I don't know if I ever told you the story
as to what inspired me to leave nursing. But there
was a patient that I looked after, and he was
an end of life. Do I say to me, Lepard,
live your life? And I got to a point where
I didn't want to go in and see him because
I was sick of hearing those words, And I thought,
why me? I thought I had everything figured out at

(05:15):
that age, you know, But little did I know that
I was suffering inside because I was doing what I
thought was right, but I wasn't doing what was right
for me. I see him in our family dynamics, and
I want him to be accepted. If I say, if
I stand in the middle and I say I don't

(05:36):
want whoever something might have been in the future, I
wholeheartedly hear what you say. Because you're my mum, You're
entitled to your concerns. But I just wanted to let
you know this person like I love him with my
whole being.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
It's just the beginning.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
But you don't know what's at the back.

Speaker 4 (05:58):
That's the thing I'm worried about.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
But I don't want you to get heard how you've
always wanted to just shelter me even so now. And
I remember you telling me about your mom hanging onto
you when you're Auckland Airport before you boarded the gates
to come here, and you just felt like you needed
to grow and spread your wings. Had you not left
New Zealand, we wouldn't be here. You know, I wouldn't

(06:23):
be here. I find so much strength because I think
of what you went through. You went against the grain
and you made a mark.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
I know it was very hard for leaving my mom,
but I gave me here because of what she wants.
I don't like.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
I don't want.

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Because I don't want to be suffer for something that
I don't agree in. I don't really want to. I
said to myself, I had to live and look for
a bitter, bitter future. See what's the other side of
the world is like, I'm not stopping you're growing, but

(07:04):
you had to make the right decision. I know you
might don't. You're very good to kill.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Thanks Bama, I love you, Una, A laughing af