September 15, 2024 • 21 mins
Are you someone who feels comfortable to do a number two at work? Or are you someone who would refer to themselves as 'poo shy'? In this weeks episode, FIT(ish) Host Phoebe Parsons chats to comedian, podcaster and friend Shad Wika about a new Queensland Health Campaign aimed at taking the stigma away called 'It's OK to poo at work' and share a laugh over some practical tips and tricks to help you master carefree confidence.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Apodjay Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to fit Ish.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I'm Phoebe Parsons, and this is the podcast that proves
that you don't have to choose between staying fit and
having fun. When was the last time you did a
number two at work as a woman with a journalism degree.
I can't believe that this is where this podcast has gone,
but I can assure you that this chat actually has
a health intention behind it that's backed by Queensland Helpa.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
This is all your fault for the last Before I
get into your wishy washy woo woo advice, I think
I want to hear from the experts.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Comedian, fellow podcaster, and now a very close friend, Shadwicker.
We've been friends for a very long time now. I
think we're coming up to like five six years.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Really yeah, holy shit.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
But I have something very personal to ask you that's
going to take our friendship to the next life.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay, do you pooh at work?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Not? If I can help it. I have, but generally
it's when people aren't at work.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So when you're working from the office by yourself.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah yeah, on an away game on my own right,
all bets are off, All bets are off. Dude, I'm
going hot.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Well, I'm not pooshi and I've never been poohshy, and
I'm very regular in terms of I probably average maybe
two to three movements a.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Day, two to three a day.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, And when nature calls, I pick up the phone.
It appears that I'm actually amongst the minority here because
Queensland Health have just released a campaign called It's Okay
to Pooh at Work? Have you seen it?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Only I've seen a little bit of it, but I
don't really know much about it.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
So essentially, they're trying to combat the stigma and the
shame around people pooing at work, and evidently a lot
of Queenslanders must be holding it in right, so much
so that they've had to put an entire campaign together
around this to not only prevent the shame and stigma,
but to also try and prevent blocked up colons and hemorrhoids,
because apparently a lot can happen when you hold it in.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Okay, I refuse to believe that there is a holding
in your pooh epidemic taking place that the Health Department
needs to be like, guys, you've got.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
A pooh I mean you would have thought so.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Also, can the government just get out of our lives? Dude?
This is insane.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I mean they're monitoring everything. They're literally monitoring.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
What do you mean now we need a pooh on
your schedule? All right, big pooh, move out of a
big farmer. It's big toilet.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
But this is an issue because I've had many people
that I've worked with in the past who were really
pooh shy people, and they would never who worked to
the point that I know some of them. One of
the girls I sat next to you, Amy, bless you,
I love you. But I remember one day we worked
together for four and a half years, and she eventually,
after probably two and a half, plucked up the courage
(03:17):
to pu at work, and we all applauded her when
she came down the hallway.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Would it worse? That would have made it worse for them.
I would hate that you've just finished doing a boo
and it's like, you know, and then all of you
are just applauding it. I would be like, oh, thanks,
I had a whak. I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Feel like also for us, it's a little bit different
because there is a level of flexibility that we have
with our jobs that.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
How are you well?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I work from home flexibillay, I work.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
From home permanently, so I can prove flexibly whenever I
want to downs.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I mean that would help. Having a little poop street
would help.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
But I have in the past worked for various different
offices with varying different levels of facilities at my veil
to do said pooh on work time, and I know that.
I think a lot of the issues could arise from
those workplaces that have maybe one toilet, or have those
toilets that are cubicle stalls, but they're not floor to
(04:14):
ceiling stalls, so there's a big gap, so you can see,
you can hear, you can smell. There's not a lot
of privacy to be had. But because I've been through
all that and previous jobs, I actually have some advice
for people. No matter what your facilities are.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
You got some Phoebe Phoebe tips. That's it, Pooh peebe.
What has happened to this podcast? By the way, my.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Nickname is Phoebe. But evidently you can go.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So Number one if you don't feel comfortable pooing in
the bathrooms that are provided for you in your office, is.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
This Queensland Health's advice or your.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
This is my advice, rolling off the back of theirs. Okay,
actually should we go with their.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I'd like to know it before I get into yourh
wishy washy woo woo advice. I think I want to
hear from the experts. I want the experts. The experts
are saying, okay, this is two k a year. Queens
Government's a government cushy job.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Here are some tips for a stress free public toilet poop. Okay,
Number one, remember that everyone poops. Visualize someone famous on
the toilet like Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I'm pretty sure there's videos you could.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Look up, but we've seen two girls walk up.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yuh dude, Okay, picture someone famous on the toilet.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
So who's your who's celebrity crush?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah? Who's who? Would you say? Out of all the
celebrities you know, who would you you had to watch,
you had to watch him poop? Who would you least
want to and who would.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You One of my biggest celebrity crushes is Harrison Ford.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
But I don't on the toilet.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
The old man, the senior citizen, he's got the paper,
he's got his he's reading glasses on he switched glasses style,
like glasses down on the note on the bridge of
his nose, big and like the big fault the Sydney
Morning Herald, Like he's folded it over, He's found the article.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Who wants his shorts are literally around his ankle?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Who's your celeb big crush?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Then? I don't really have any celebrity crushes because I
love my girlfriend dearly. No, I've been so out of
the celeb game. I'm trying to think who would be.
I'm trying to think it would be like a nice,
like a dainty kind of a little bit of sprits.
You know, they fart and they go, well, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
That brings me to point number two, which is bring
a small fragrance spray into the toilet, okay, very demure.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah that is I like that just like there is
an element as well as like it's kind of like
you know where you know, the clack thing was like, oh,
people cough when they fart. You're like, I know I
heard the fart.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, like the you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Also, there's got to be some kind of bodily function
where like how does that happen? How do you go.
I think people have heard someone very funny when someone
sneedes in the but it's like a very funny thing
that happens you just my bitch. But I think like
the fragrance thing would be an element of like, geez,
you did some damage in there if you walk down Yeah, yeah,
(07:22):
I'm like, what are you trying to rix with this?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, you're basically telling people what's just happened. The third
one is avoid food or drink that might trigger your bows.
And I think this is easier said than done, because
I think a lot of the time in an office setting,
if you're in the communal kitchen and you whip out
like Mexican, people are going to make jokes about you,
I'm not even spot.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I've got another one for you. I mean, what are
the two common things I would say, arguably the two
most common breaks in any workplace coffee? Coffee and siggy? Yeah,
and what are two of the main causes of people
having to do a shit Coffee and coffee.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And Siggi's thirdly, eggs and a lot of people eat
their eggs at their desk, yeah, right, to get things moving.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
So you're like, the work is all kind of conjuring up.
This is kind of this really boo palace, if you will.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
But they're quite mindful because the fourth and last tip
they're providing is breathe deeply. Call to a short meditation exercise.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Just buying like meditation music. Maybe it's like breathing and release.
I'd love the idea of listening to meditation mantras, like
you know what it is. I am, I am strong,
I am creative, I am my.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It's just it's the fecal version of hypno birthing hypno birth.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
You know how you're supposed to breathe through contraction.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Oh so, so what's worse walking into the bathroom and
hearing someone like letting it rip while they're trying to
go to the toilet, or hearing them go on the
phone their partners on the phone as well. Just push push.
This is all your fault for last dinner.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I would rather hear then anyway. So enough of their tips.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Here are my tips, because these are lived experiences that
I've had and I'm not afraid to talk about these.
So the first one is, like I said before, if
you are in a workplace where you don't have access
to the most spacious or luxurious of facilities. My option
here is head to a public restroom nearby, like a park,
(09:30):
a food.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Court, in the public bar for.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
A second, take a shit on, go to a park,
fine and nice.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No because.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Rating exercises on your favorite podcast, this.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
One, because the last office that I worked in had
the most horrific toilet conditions like anybody could probably imagine,
And anybody who still works who's listening to this podcast,
which probably isn't many because I didn't leave on great terms,
but there was one toilet for upwards of twenty stuff,
(10:05):
and there were very thin walls because the office was
like an old house, so it wasn't designed to have
the kind of privacy that like a public space would have,
And so everyone who needed to do a little poopy
would go to the park across the road and use
the public bathroom. But the issue with that strategy is
as soon as you saw someone high tailing to the park,
(10:27):
you knew exactly what they were doing.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Yeah, thieves are still pooh literally with thieves gone, just
gone to a poo? What does coffee? No? No, no,
she she took that door. That's a poodle.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
So does that negate? The fact of privately poohing, because
I feel like the actual issue with people being worried
to poo at work is because they don't want other
people to know that they're poohing.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I feel like it's more people in the space okay,
rather than the idea of, oh, they know I went
and did a shit, Because if you're thinking that everyone
things that you've gone to do a pooh and you've
got to do a poo, like newsflash, not a lot
of us are really have even noticed you, you know
what I mean? How self important do you think that
I'm keeping tabs on your bow? Moments I can barely
keep on touch with Mike. Do you think, yeah, exactly,
(11:07):
I'm not getting paid enough. You know what fascinating about
the going to the bathroom like an away game, And
I'll say, I don't give an give stuff with the
boss here at these wonderful studios would go to use
the bathroom because we've only got the one situation here.
It's like a barn door, so it's like it's awful.
So he would go to a place near here where
(11:27):
there's like food and you've said it, where we get
coffees and sun and there's a bathroom there on the
ground level because there's office buildings above it. It's like
a big carf I go around there. So he'd go
and use that, and that was seems like a common thing,
right because it's like near a big office space. And
he went there the other week and there was a
sign on the front of the door and it was like,
(11:49):
to attention to the people using this bathroom. We've become
aware that this bathroom has been used by certain people
to participate in certain acts that are not what the
bathroom is actually meant for. Yeah, so it turns out
the toilet that our boss, our general I don't know
(12:10):
if I can say that, but our boss he was using,
turns out the cubicle of the toilet he was using
underneath this office space was being used for gay sexual cups.
It was like a beat It was a beat, dude.
So the public restroom was a beat up place for
people just going have sex with each other. I was like, well,
you know, when you were in there, there was like
(12:31):
the toilet roll was there also a hole next to
that or something, you know what I mean? But he
was like yeah, And they to the point that they
had to put a sign up and they're like this,
this like area is unders surveillance. We can we know
who are turning up and coming to the seeing. But
it made me say to the boss because I was like,
how often were these people getting caught? Because you've got
to see him as well going in there.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And my question is was he partaking?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Well? I mean, yeah, now I'm starting to think he's
coming back. I'm giving him around of applause because he
did it because he got him on the route. Is
that crazy? So I'm cudable. So to link back to
our pood chat is like, maybe you've got to be
careful about the space you choose because you know you
might be going in to do a number three or
number two, but you might actually end up doing a
number what would sex be four?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Home run.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Basis home run?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
All bases covered Jesus. My second point is clean up
after yourself. And the reason I say this is because
a couple of jobs ago, I worked in a much
larger office that probably had upwards of around fifty people,
So there were many different cubicles in the bathrooms and
there were a lot of people in there who would
(13:43):
leave visual evidence of their discretions.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Okay, Skitty skitties.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
And I've never entered a workplace bathroom before that didn't
have a brush.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
The brush is not.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Decorative, It is there for a reason. The same way
that you don't just leave your dishes in the communal sink.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Well, so a lot of people do that too. You
don't leave your shit in the community communal toilet.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And I know that, like spray is a little bit
harder to come by, and not every public toilet or
offers toilet is going to have a spray, but at least.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
At least I'm kind of surprised that it's happening in
the ladies. Yeah, because the fellers. We've got some grass
people floating around the office.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I would hate to see men's public restroom.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, it's pretty grass due.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I went overseas with some girlfriends to Hong Kong, and
I don't know if you've been to Hong Kong, but
the rooms are very tiny. It's a very populated city.
And one of the girls I was traveling with was
incredibly poop shy, and she brought this spray with her
called the ipoo, and it's essentially this tiny, pocket sized
it's not even a spray, they're little drops and you
(14:52):
can just drop them into the toilet before or after
you flush. And it's not an offensive like air freshness,
it just kind of it just neutralizes the odor of
the air. That's a great tip. It's not like you're
walking into the bathroom with a can of air freshen
or a can of Joda and Awesome, like a.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Big raid can, like a Glenn twenty, like a pink. Hey, guys, off,
I go, yeah with your poop stool. Have you seen those? Yes,
we go on to the house. Well, I can't use it.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I don't need one. Yeah, I can't, Like, I just
can't like maneuver group.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Yeah, and I've seen I've seen the unicorn ad. Yeah,
like I've seen the Okay, it's supposed to be better.
And and I've also seen the drop like I've been.
You've got like Vietnam, like a lot of Asia loves
the drop ones where you stand over and you but
my mate went to one and he was telling me
the other day that it had like when you stand
down and do it because obviously, for some reason, Asian
people are just so good at their course strack that
(15:50):
they average squad all the top like he's got. They
had handle bars, but they were like bike handlebars, like yeah,
my mate SHARKI was like, yeah, that had bike handlebars
you could hold. They were like a bike handles. So
he's in there and you're wading over this toilet to
do it, and he's like, I was using it, but
I was kind of disappointed. Now what do you think
(16:10):
he was disappointed about when you have the bike handlebars
and he sit down said something was missing that he
would have liked to have been there. A helmet, a
bell wouldn't have been right down, a little bells, like,
wouldn't it be. I was like, he done, finished, They're done.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I like that because it's practical logistically, but secondly, it's
incredibly unhygienic the way everyone's.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, the best, the best place, and I'm going
there at the end of the year on a holiday.
Best place to pooh anywhere in the world is Buddy
Japan DoD And I'm playing with the buttons. I'm doing
a front wash, I'm doing a back seat. I'm more
in the seat. I'm playing the tranquil noises as well,
so it's playing that one. I tell you what, Being
hungover in Japan when I've been before and you're like
sitting there on the toilet and you've got that hungover
(16:56):
what did I do last night? And you're not even
really there to do it poof For the most part,
you're there just to contemplate life, you know what I mean. Yeah,
doing it in Japan is great. The seats progressive, It's
so good. I'd like it the day. What we do
at the moment is so unhygiening.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
You can get them on Amazon. They're also a lot
better for the environment.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
But like a full one or one of these ones
where you tack it onto the well.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I used to work with a girl and she would
take a Actually this is a very timely place to
tell this story. She would take a pump water bottle
into the bathroom and just squeeze it up spritzer.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
But it's got to be there's got to be some
pressure behind it.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Behind it, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
If it works for you, all those people who just
take a shower after instead of your toilet.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Paper so much, that's so much effort. Again, what do
we doing.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
My final tip is actually one that I heard someone
else talking about ones, and that is to make a
little toilet paper pillow.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
So that it doesn't go.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Yeah, you do that when you when you're at like
a you go like I've done in the pascal or
girl's house or whatever, and you're going to go and
use their bathroom. You're like, I can't. I'm going to
have to do it here. Yeah, And you do a
little you do a little yeah, little little parashirte.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Wait do you hold it?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
No? I don't hold it that what are you talking about?
Actually I saw a clip of a guy talking about
that on Instagram the other day from the States, and
he was talking about catching it with puts toilet fapers
out and catches it and get on the bottle. It
was like, the fuck are you talking about? And it's
just like outed him there. He's like, yeah, you know
what I mean. She just no, like put it in
the bowl? Yeah, and like.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
We have a parasite apparent.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
He like patches over there. She's like, what do you
do with ving?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Is?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Then I put it in the toilet. She's like, why
would you do that?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Why are you.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
It's insane?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
But that would actually be really good.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
What if we could actually I'm having a business idea. Okay,
what if we could invent some kind of disposable pooh hammock.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
That you could just slink into the bowl.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
What you do, like you open up the lid and
you put it, put it down, your close the lids
and now you go.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Some public toilets have like the toilet seat covers that
you can put over, Like, firstly, who is putting I'm
to seat on a public toilet?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Well, half the public toilets I don't even have a safe.
Have you seen these things? There's wanted more than gather
the more past the door. It's like automatic door and
like you press a button, the door opens. And when
I walk into this gig that I run in, Will
and Gab a hard last comedy every Thursday, you want
to come. But I was walking past and the door
was open and it's like, oh futuristic, it's got a
button ship And I look in there and it's just
(19:27):
those metal you know the ones that there just metal
and there's no seats. Is metal no seat? I was like, well,
that's not futuristic. That's like dirty nightclub.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
But they disguise stains, right, So that's like a lot
of the park toilets are made of that just metal, yeah, right,
or anything. I don't know what kind of person so
gross just dousing bleach.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
It must be so hard for ladies, like because you
have to sit, you have to sit or squat as
a fella like I'm just standing around, I'm doing buzz standing.
I'm not really, but that's when the.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Little hand.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Well.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I think we've sufficiently absolutely grossed everyone out of us.
What's one piece of advice you would give more, I'm
listening about pooping at work.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
One piece of advice, give advice? You know what I'm
all about where I mean, and you've got to be
in an owner erar you know what I mean. I
reckon take it out of it because you know what
people would think. People would never think that you would
own the idea of going to have a boum movement.
So maybe now, instead of being so shy about it,
get up, or you need to go to the door
pool be like, guys, just off the doorpoo and then
(20:36):
I'll be like, oh, that's so funny as if they are.
But you are, you are, and you're doing it. You're
doing a real good job of it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Let's normalize it.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
And I'm just going to roll off the back of
that and say when nature calls answer the phone because
if you screen that call, you are potentially playing with hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Oh god, Okay, thank you so much for listening. Guys.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
I really hope you enjoyed the episode, and don't forget
to help a sister out by following the podcast on Apple,
on Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Rate it,
write me a review, and if you want more Finish,
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guests in that group. That's going to be events, going
(21:18):
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part of the Finish online community
Apodjay Production.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to fit Ish.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I'm Phoebe Parsons, and this is the podcast that proves
that you don't have to choose between staying fit and
having fun. When was the last time you did a
number two at work as a woman with a journalism degree.
I can't believe that this is where this podcast has gone,
but I can assure you that this chat actually has
a health intention behind it that's backed by Queensland Helpa.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
This is all your fault for the last Before I
get into your wishy washy woo woo advice, I think
I want to hear from the experts.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Hey, guys, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Comedian, fellow podcaster, and now a very close friend, Shadwicker.
We've been friends for a very long time now. I
think we're coming up to like five six years.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Really yeah, holy shit.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
But I have something very personal to ask you that's
going to take our friendship to the next life.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Okay, do you pooh at work?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Not? If I can help it. I have, but generally
it's when people aren't at work.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
So when you're working from the office by yourself.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Yeah yeah, on an away game on my own right,
all bets are off, All bets are off. Dude, I'm
going hot.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Well, I'm not pooshi and I've never been poohshy, and
I'm very regular in terms of I probably average maybe
two to three movements a.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Day, two to three a day.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah, And when nature calls, I pick up the phone.
It appears that I'm actually amongst the minority here because
Queensland Health have just released a campaign called It's Okay
to Pooh at Work? Have you seen it?
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Only I've seen a little bit of it, but I
don't really know much about it.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
So essentially, they're trying to combat the stigma and the
shame around people pooing at work, and evidently a lot
of Queenslanders must be holding it in right, so much
so that they've had to put an entire campaign together
around this to not only prevent the shame and stigma,
but to also try and prevent blocked up colons and hemorrhoids,
because apparently a lot can happen when you hold it in.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Okay, I refuse to believe that there is a holding
in your pooh epidemic taking place that the Health Department
needs to be like, guys, you've got.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
A pooh I mean you would have thought so.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Also, can the government just get out of our lives? Dude?
This is insane.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I mean they're monitoring everything. They're literally monitoring.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
What do you mean now we need a pooh on
your schedule? All right, big pooh, move out of a
big farmer. It's big toilet.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
But this is an issue because I've had many people
that I've worked with in the past who were really
pooh shy people, and they would never who worked to
the point that I know some of them. One of
the girls I sat next to you, Amy, bless you,
I love you. But I remember one day we worked
together for four and a half years, and she eventually,
after probably two and a half, plucked up the courage
(03:17):
to pu at work, and we all applauded her when
she came down the hallway.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Would it worse? That would have made it worse for them.
I would hate that you've just finished doing a boo
and it's like, you know, and then all of you
are just applauding it. I would be like, oh, thanks,
I had a whak. I mean, I.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Feel like also for us, it's a little bit different
because there is a level of flexibility that we have
with our jobs that.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
How are you well?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I work from home flexibillay, I work.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
From home permanently, so I can prove flexibly whenever I
want to downs.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I mean that would help. Having a little poop street
would help.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
But I have in the past worked for various different
offices with varying different levels of facilities at my veil
to do said pooh on work time, and I know that.
I think a lot of the issues could arise from
those workplaces that have maybe one toilet, or have those
toilets that are cubicle stalls, but they're not floor to
(04:14):
ceiling stalls, so there's a big gap, so you can see,
you can hear, you can smell. There's not a lot
of privacy to be had. But because I've been through
all that and previous jobs, I actually have some advice
for people. No matter what your facilities are.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
You got some Phoebe Phoebe tips. That's it, Pooh peebe.
What has happened to this podcast? By the way, my.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Nickname is Phoebe. But evidently you can go.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So Number one if you don't feel comfortable pooing in
the bathrooms that are provided for you in your office, is.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
This Queensland Health's advice or your.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
This is my advice, rolling off the back of theirs. Okay,
actually should we go with their.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
I'd like to know it before I get into yourh
wishy washy woo woo advice. I think I want to
hear from the experts. I want the experts. The experts
are saying, okay, this is two k a year. Queens
Government's a government cushy job.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Here are some tips for a stress free public toilet poop. Okay,
Number one, remember that everyone poops. Visualize someone famous on
the toilet like Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I'm pretty sure there's videos you could.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Look up, but we've seen two girls walk up.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Yuh dude, Okay, picture someone famous on the toilet.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
So who's your who's celebrity crush?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Yeah? Who's who? Would you say? Out of all the
celebrities you know, who would you you had to watch,
you had to watch him poop? Who would you least
want to and who would.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You One of my biggest celebrity crushes is Harrison Ford.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
But I don't on the toilet.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
The old man, the senior citizen, he's got the paper,
he's got his he's reading glasses on he switched glasses style,
like glasses down on the note on the bridge of
his nose, big and like the big fault the Sydney
Morning Herald, Like he's folded it over, He's found the article.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Who wants his shorts are literally around his ankle?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Who's your celeb big crush?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Then? I don't really have any celebrity crushes because I
love my girlfriend dearly. No, I've been so out of
the celeb game. I'm trying to think who would be.
I'm trying to think it would be like a nice,
like a dainty kind of a little bit of sprits.
You know, they fart and they go, well, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
That brings me to point number two, which is bring
a small fragrance spray into the toilet, okay, very demure.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yeah that is I like that just like there is
an element as well as like it's kind of like
you know where you know, the clack thing was like, oh,
people cough when they fart. You're like, I know I
heard the fart.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, like the you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Also, there's got to be some kind of bodily function
where like how does that happen? How do you go.
I think people have heard someone very funny when someone
sneedes in the but it's like a very funny thing
that happens you just my bitch. But I think like
the fragrance thing would be an element of like, geez,
you did some damage in there if you walk down Yeah, yeah,
(07:22):
I'm like, what are you trying to rix with this?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah, you're basically telling people what's just happened. The third
one is avoid food or drink that might trigger your bows.
And I think this is easier said than done, because
I think a lot of the time in an office setting,
if you're in the communal kitchen and you whip out
like Mexican, people are going to make jokes about you,
I'm not even spot.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I've got another one for you. I mean, what are
the two common things I would say, arguably the two
most common breaks in any workplace coffee? Coffee and siggy? Yeah,
and what are two of the main causes of people
having to do a shit Coffee and coffee.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And Siggi's thirdly, eggs and a lot of people eat
their eggs at their desk, yeah, right, to get things moving.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
So you're like, the work is all kind of conjuring up.
This is kind of this really boo palace, if you will.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
But they're quite mindful because the fourth and last tip
they're providing is breathe deeply. Call to a short meditation exercise.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Just buying like meditation music. Maybe it's like breathing and release.
I'd love the idea of listening to meditation mantras, like
you know what it is. I am, I am strong,
I am creative, I am my.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It's just it's the fecal version of hypno birthing hypno birth.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
You know how you're supposed to breathe through contraction.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Oh so, so what's worse walking into the bathroom and
hearing someone like letting it rip while they're trying to
go to the toilet, or hearing them go on the
phone their partners on the phone as well. Just push push.
This is all your fault for last dinner.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I would rather hear then anyway. So enough of their tips.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Here are my tips, because these are lived experiences that
I've had and I'm not afraid to talk about these.
So the first one is, like I said before, if
you are in a workplace where you don't have access
to the most spacious or luxurious of facilities. My option
here is head to a public restroom nearby, like a park,
(09:30):
a food.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Court, in the public bar for.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
A second, take a shit on, go to a park,
fine and nice.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No because.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
Rating exercises on your favorite podcast, this.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
One, because the last office that I worked in had
the most horrific toilet conditions like anybody could probably imagine,
And anybody who still works who's listening to this podcast,
which probably isn't many because I didn't leave on great terms,
but there was one toilet for upwards of twenty stuff,
(10:05):
and there were very thin walls because the office was
like an old house, so it wasn't designed to have
the kind of privacy that like a public space would have,
And so everyone who needed to do a little poopy
would go to the park across the road and use
the public bathroom. But the issue with that strategy is
as soon as you saw someone high tailing to the park,
(10:27):
you knew exactly what they were doing.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Yeah, thieves are still pooh literally with thieves gone, just
gone to a poo? What does coffee? No? No, no,
she she took that door. That's a poodle.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
So does that negate? The fact of privately poohing, because
I feel like the actual issue with people being worried
to poo at work is because they don't want other
people to know that they're poohing.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I feel like it's more people in the space okay,
rather than the idea of, oh, they know I went
and did a shit, Because if you're thinking that everyone
things that you've gone to do a pooh and you've
got to do a poo, like newsflash, not a lot
of us are really have even noticed you, you know
what I mean? How self important do you think that
I'm keeping tabs on your bow? Moments I can barely
keep on touch with Mike. Do you think, yeah, exactly,
(11:07):
I'm not getting paid enough. You know what fascinating about
the going to the bathroom like an away game, And
I'll say, I don't give an give stuff with the
boss here at these wonderful studios would go to use
the bathroom because we've only got the one situation here.
It's like a barn door, so it's like it's awful.
So he would go to a place near here where
(11:27):
there's like food and you've said it, where we get
coffees and sun and there's a bathroom there on the
ground level because there's office buildings above it. It's like
a big carf I go around there. So he'd go
and use that, and that was seems like a common thing,
right because it's like near a big office space. And
he went there the other week and there was a
sign on the front of the door and it was like,
(11:49):
to attention to the people using this bathroom. We've become
aware that this bathroom has been used by certain people
to participate in certain acts that are not what the
bathroom is actually meant for. Yeah, so it turns out
the toilet that our boss, our general I don't know
(12:10):
if I can say that, but our boss he was using,
turns out the cubicle of the toilet he was using
underneath this office space was being used for gay sexual cups.
It was like a beat It was a beat, dude.
So the public restroom was a beat up place for
people just going have sex with each other. I was like, well,
you know, when you were in there, there was like
(12:31):
the toilet roll was there also a hole next to
that or something, you know what I mean? But he
was like yeah, And they to the point that they
had to put a sign up and they're like this,
this like area is unders surveillance. We can we know
who are turning up and coming to the seeing. But
it made me say to the boss because I was like,
how often were these people getting caught? Because you've got
to see him as well going in there.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
And my question is was he partaking?
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Well? I mean, yeah, now I'm starting to think he's
coming back. I'm giving him around of applause because he
did it because he got him on the route. Is
that crazy? So I'm cudable. So to link back to
our pood chat is like, maybe you've got to be
careful about the space you choose because you know you
might be going in to do a number three or
number two, but you might actually end up doing a
number what would sex be four?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Home run.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Basis home run?
Speaker 1 (13:22):
All bases covered Jesus. My second point is clean up
after yourself. And the reason I say this is because
a couple of jobs ago, I worked in a much
larger office that probably had upwards of around fifty people,
So there were many different cubicles in the bathrooms and
there were a lot of people in there who would
(13:43):
leave visual evidence of their discretions.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Okay, Skitty skitties.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
And I've never entered a workplace bathroom before that didn't
have a brush.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
The brush is not.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Decorative, It is there for a reason. The same way
that you don't just leave your dishes in the communal sink.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Well, so a lot of people do that too. You
don't leave your shit in the community communal toilet.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And I know that, like spray is a little bit
harder to come by, and not every public toilet or
offers toilet is going to have a spray, but at least.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
At least I'm kind of surprised that it's happening in
the ladies. Yeah, because the fellers. We've got some grass
people floating around the office.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I would hate to see men's public restroom.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
Yeah, it's pretty grass due.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
I went overseas with some girlfriends to Hong Kong, and
I don't know if you've been to Hong Kong, but
the rooms are very tiny. It's a very populated city.
And one of the girls I was traveling with was
incredibly poop shy, and she brought this spray with her
called the ipoo, and it's essentially this tiny, pocket sized
it's not even a spray, they're little drops and you
(14:52):
can just drop them into the toilet before or after
you flush. And it's not an offensive like air freshness,
it just kind of it just neutralizes the odor of
the air. That's a great tip. It's not like you're
walking into the bathroom with a can of air freshen
or a can of Joda and Awesome, like a.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Big raid can, like a Glenn twenty, like a pink. Hey, guys, off,
I go, yeah with your poop stool. Have you seen those? Yes,
we go on to the house. Well, I can't use it.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I don't need one. Yeah, I can't, Like, I just
can't like maneuver group.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Yeah, and I've seen I've seen the unicorn ad. Yeah,
like I've seen the Okay, it's supposed to be better.
And and I've also seen the drop like I've been.
You've got like Vietnam, like a lot of Asia loves
the drop ones where you stand over and you but
my mate went to one and he was telling me
the other day that it had like when you stand
down and do it because obviously, for some reason, Asian
people are just so good at their course strack that
(15:50):
they average squad all the top like he's got. They
had handle bars, but they were like bike handlebars, like yeah,
my mate SHARKI was like, yeah, that had bike handlebars
you could hold. They were like a bike handles. So
he's in there and you're wading over this toilet to
do it, and he's like, I was using it, but
I was kind of disappointed. Now what do you think
(16:10):
he was disappointed about when you have the bike handlebars
and he sit down said something was missing that he
would have liked to have been there. A helmet, a
bell wouldn't have been right down, a little bells, like,
wouldn't it be. I was like, he done, finished, They're done.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I like that because it's practical logistically, but secondly, it's
incredibly unhygienic the way everyone's.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Yeah, yeah, the best, the best place, and I'm going
there at the end of the year on a holiday.
Best place to pooh anywhere in the world is Buddy
Japan DoD And I'm playing with the buttons. I'm doing
a front wash, I'm doing a back seat. I'm more
in the seat. I'm playing the tranquil noises as well,
so it's playing that one. I tell you what, Being
hungover in Japan when I've been before and you're like
sitting there on the toilet and you've got that hungover
(16:56):
what did I do last night? And you're not even
really there to do it poof For the most part,
you're there just to contemplate life, you know what I mean. Yeah,
doing it in Japan is great. The seats progressive, It's
so good. I'd like it the day. What we do
at the moment is so unhygiening.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
You can get them on Amazon. They're also a lot
better for the environment.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
But like a full one or one of these ones
where you tack it onto the well.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
I used to work with a girl and she would
take a Actually this is a very timely place to
tell this story. She would take a pump water bottle
into the bathroom and just squeeze it up spritzer.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
But it's got to be there's got to be some
pressure behind it.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Behind it, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
If it works for you, all those people who just
take a shower after instead of your toilet.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Paper so much, that's so much effort. Again, what do
we doing.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
My final tip is actually one that I heard someone
else talking about ones, and that is to make a
little toilet paper pillow.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
So that it doesn't go.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Yeah, you do that when you when you're at like
a you go like I've done in the pascal or
girl's house or whatever, and you're going to go and
use their bathroom. You're like, I can't. I'm going to
have to do it here. Yeah, And you do a
little you do a little yeah, little little parashirte.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Wait do you hold it?
Speaker 3 (18:06):
No? I don't hold it that what are you talking about?
Actually I saw a clip of a guy talking about
that on Instagram the other day from the States, and
he was talking about catching it with puts toilet fapers
out and catches it and get on the bottle. It
was like, the fuck are you talking about? And it's
just like outed him there. He's like, yeah, you know
what I mean. She just no, like put it in
the bowl? Yeah, and like.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
We have a parasite apparent.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
He like patches over there. She's like, what do you
do with ving?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Is?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
Then I put it in the toilet. She's like, why
would you do that?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Why are you.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
It's insane?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
But that would actually be really good.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
What if we could actually I'm having a business idea. Okay,
what if we could invent some kind of disposable pooh hammock.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
That you could just slink into the bowl.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
What you do, like you open up the lid and
you put it, put it down, your close the lids
and now you go.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Some public toilets have like the toilet seat covers that
you can put over, Like, firstly, who is putting I'm
to seat on a public toilet?
Speaker 2 (19:06):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Well, half the public toilets I don't even have a safe.
Have you seen these things? There's wanted more than gather
the more past the door. It's like automatic door and
like you press a button, the door opens. And when
I walk into this gig that I run in, Will
and Gab a hard last comedy every Thursday, you want
to come. But I was walking past and the door
was open and it's like, oh futuristic, it's got a
button ship And I look in there and it's just
(19:27):
those metal you know the ones that there just metal
and there's no seats. Is metal no seat? I was like, well,
that's not futuristic. That's like dirty nightclub.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
But they disguise stains, right, So that's like a lot
of the park toilets are made of that just metal, yeah, right,
or anything. I don't know what kind of person so
gross just dousing bleach.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
It must be so hard for ladies, like because you
have to sit, you have to sit or squat as
a fella like I'm just standing around, I'm doing buzz standing.
I'm not really, but that's when the.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Little hand.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Well.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I think we've sufficiently absolutely grossed everyone out of us.
What's one piece of advice you would give more, I'm
listening about pooping at work.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
One piece of advice, give advice? You know what I'm
all about where I mean, and you've got to be
in an owner erar you know what I mean. I
reckon take it out of it because you know what
people would think. People would never think that you would
own the idea of going to have a boum movement.
So maybe now, instead of being so shy about it,
get up, or you need to go to the door
pool be like, guys, just off the doorpoo and then
(20:36):
I'll be like, oh, that's so funny as if they are.
But you are, you are, and you're doing it. You're
doing a real good job of it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Let's normalize it.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
And I'm just going to roll off the back of
that and say when nature calls answer the phone because
if you screen that call, you are potentially playing with hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Oh god, Okay, thank you so much for listening. Guys.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
I really hope you enjoyed the episode, and don't forget
to help a sister out by following the podcast on Apple,
on Spotify or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Rate it,
write me a review, and if you want more Finish,
we do have a private Facebook group. There is going
to be exclusive Q and A is happening with my
guests in that group. That's going to be events, going
(21:18):
life first, so much fun stuff happening. Just look up
fit ish in brackets on Facebook and you can be
part of the Finish online community
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