October 26, 2025 • 28 mins
Halloween is coming up on 31 October! Are you dressing up this year? Here are some jokes to get you in a spooky mood...
Why did the skeleton show up to the party by himself?
He had no body to go with.What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone.
This week both Geraldine and Maddie's happy pants are orange, the kind of orange that makes you think of sweet, tangy marmalade on hot buttered toast. Maddie's are soft and silky, like the fur on her cat, Marmalade.
This is Maddie's first time as a clue sorter-outer! Can you help her work out what the objects in her happy pants pockets are all about??
Tune in for lots of fun, as always, music, plus a reading of The Cafe at the Edge of the Woods by Mikey Please, a story full of magical humour, mythical creatures and culinary curiosities.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:13):
One, two, three. It's happy pants.
S2 (00:26):
Good day, and welcome to Happy Pants, a show especially
for kids and especially for you. My name is Geraldine.
S3 (00:34):
And my name is Maddie.
S2 (00:36):
And together, we'll be your happy pants team for today.
Are you wearing your happy pants today? We are. And
today they're orange. This kind of orange makes me think
of sweet, tangy marmalade on my hot buttered toast.
S3 (00:54):
My happy pants feel soft and silky like the fur
on my cat. Her name is marmalade because mom says
she is striped orange and yellow with a little bit
of white. Like marmalade jam. I can't see her, but
I can feel her soft, silky fur. And hear her
purr when she curls up on my lap.
S2 (01:16):
I see you have your Braille scent sticks with you, Maddie.
I've been meaning to ask, what can it do and
how does it work?
S3 (01:26):
My Braille Sense six is a cool computer like device
which turns print into Braille. It has buttons for the
six braille dots. And whatever I write, I can read
on a display with my fingers. I can watch videos,
listen to music, write documents, and much more.
S2 (01:46):
Well, the first thing we need to do this morning
is check out our happy pants pockets. It offers always
magics things in there. Clues about something.
S3 (01:57):
I've heard about that we have to put the clues
together and work out what we are supposed to talk about.
This is my first time as a clue sorter reader.
I hope they aren't too hard.
S2 (02:08):
Well, let's have a look and see you go first. Maddie.
S3 (02:12):
Right, first pocket. It won't bite, will it?
S2 (02:17):
No. Head office sometimes does play tricks, though. One morning
they put in a rhyming bug and it bit us
when we let it out. And a bite from a
rhyming bug means that everything you say has to rhyme
until the bite wears off.
S3 (02:34):
Mm. Well, whatever this thing is, it certainly is not
a bug. It's big, heavy, smooth skinned, a little bit
flat on the top and bottom. And there seems to
be a stalk growing out of the top. It must
have come from a plant.
S2 (02:52):
Oh, you're dead on the money, Maddy. It's a pumpkin.
While you were dragging that out of your pocket, I
did a bit of digging round in mine and found
this black pointy hat like a witch might wear.
S3 (03:07):
I just found this stuffed in mine. It feels like
a smooth wooden pole with a bundle of stiff straw
tied on the end. I think it's something with which
you might sweep the floor.
S2 (03:22):
I'm starting to get an idea of what all this
is about, because my other pocket had a big bag
of candy bars in it.
S3 (03:30):
I think I know what all those clues mean. Pumpkin.
Witch's hat. Broom and candy.
S2 (03:38):
Well, something popped into my brain, too. Let's say it
together and see if we both had the same thought. One. Two. Three.
S3 (03:48):
Halloween. Halloween is almost here. We can dress up as
witches or ghosts or ogres or any other kind of
imaginary monster and scare people when they come round trick
or treating. Why is it called Halloween, by the way?
S2 (04:07):
Oh, Halloween started thousands of years ago in Britain. Back
then it was called Samhain, and it was celebrated on
the first day of winter. In winter, all the fields
would be covered with snow. So on Samhain, all the
animals were brought in and tucked away in barns where
they'd stay until spring melted the snow and the grass
(04:29):
could grow again. Samhain was also the day when the Lords,
who owned all the land, collected rent for the next
year from the farmers.
S3 (04:40):
That must be where the name landlord comes from.
S2 (04:44):
It must be, I guess, as well as being the
day when the herds were brought in and rents were paid.
It was believed that on Samhain evening, the souls of
those who had died came back to visit their old homes.
Some were friendly ghosts, but some might be angry about something.
So bonfires were lit to scare off angry ghosts, and
(05:07):
people wore masks and disguises so bad spirits wouldn't recognize them.
S3 (05:12):
Ah, I can understand that. That's where the costumes and
dressing up comes from. But when did Samhain become Halloween?
S2 (05:22):
Oh, that started happening about 2000 years ago, when Christianity
first came to Britain. The Christians wanted a special day
to remember all the saints, as well as to honor
the souls of those who died. And they called it
Holy evening. The old word for holy was hallowed. And
the day was for all saints and all souls. So
(05:43):
it was called All Hallows Evening.
S3 (05:47):
Over the years the name was shorten and it ended
up as Halloween. When did giving candy treats start?
S2 (05:54):
Well, that was way back to when the churches started
celebrating All Saints Day as Halloween. It was the custom
for rich people to make small, sweet cakes, which could
be given to the poor on that day. Trick or
treating is a modern invention. Treats were certainly given, But
tricking wasn't part of the celebrations.
S3 (06:17):
Like adding witches and ogres and ghosts and other imaginary monsters,
ghoulies and ghosties, long legged beasties and things that go
bump in the night. Ooh. There is a great piece
of music with all of those in it. As the
(06:39):
music plays, you can imagine all sorts of monstrous things
like ghosts, floating skeletons rattling their bones, witches whooshing by
on their broomsticks, even an ogre or two stomping along,
dragging their knuckles on the floor.
S2 (06:59):
Oh, let's play it and see what sort of Halloween
monsters you can have fun with while the music plays.
S4 (08:19):
Happy Pants is a special radio show just for kids
like you and me.
S3 (08:25):
Why do we have to have the same sort of
Halloween monsters as other countries? Don't we have any dinkum
Aussie ones?
S2 (08:34):
Well, we certainly have the Bunyip. That's an imaginary creature
with a furry coat like a seal. It's supposed to
live in water holes and swamps. And although its main
food is fish and water birds, it loves to gobble
up any humans silly enough to swim in its water
hole at night. So they say.
S3 (08:58):
I wouldn't mind dressing up as a bunyip just for
one night. Although a nice furry coat would be pretty
good when it's cold.
S4 (10:57):
What scares you the most?
S5 (10:59):
It might sound weird, but I have a phobia of escalators.
S4 (11:03):
Poisonous snakes. I don't like being alone.
S2 (11:09):
Then there's the Yowie. Sometimes called the Yahoo! that one
is supposed to be like a giant human covered head
to toe with shaggy hair. It prefers to stay away
from humans, but if a human gets too close, it
will wave its shaggy arms and yell Yahoo! Well, that's
(11:33):
enough to scare most humans off. But if one is
silly enough not to run, the Yowie may attack. It
will wrap its hairy arms around the fool and hug
him to death.
S3 (11:47):
I think the closest I want to get to a
Yowie is to yell Yahoo when I jump into my
swimming pool, although a shaggy, hairy costume would look pretty
cool for Halloween.
S2 (12:01):
We do have one ghost story everyone knows though.
S3 (12:06):
Of course Waltzing Matilda. That's the story of a swagman
who stole a sheep and was sitting under a tree
getting ready to cook it when the owner turned up
with three policemen to arrest him. The swagman didn't fancy
going to jail, so he jumped into the billabong and drowned.
S2 (12:29):
Or maybe a bunyip got him.
S3 (12:34):
Either way, he died. And the song says that he
can still be heard if you happen to pass by
that particular billabong.
S2 (14:37):
Maddie. I've been watching the way your fingers fly back
and forth over that Braille as you read. Was it
very hard to learn being able to do that? Must
have been a great help when you were studying for
your exams.
S3 (14:51):
Yes, I do use my fingers to read Braille. It
took me just under a year to learn to read
the Braille code. There was a lot to learn, but
it makes my everyday life a lot easier and is
a very valuable skill to have. The Braille sense has
definitely helped me with my studies and it's a very
(15:13):
important device for when I work with the Happy Pants team.
Now we can use the witches stuff for a Halloween costume,
and we can have the candy bars ready for any
trick or treat visitors. But what should we do with
the pumpkin?
S2 (15:32):
Well, I've thought about that. We could make a jack
o lantern and sit it on the front step.
S3 (15:38):
What's a jack o lantern?
S2 (15:41):
Well, it's a hollowed out pumpkin with a scary face
carved in the skin. You put a candle inside, and
the light shines out through the holes that make the
eyes and mouth. It looks really cool in the dark.
It lets trick or treaters know there's someone at home,
perhaps with candy to give away.
S3 (16:00):
What a great idea. We'd better make sure we have
enough candy bars, though. I counted 20 in that bag.
S2 (16:09):
I counted ten children living in this street. If we
gave them one candy each, how many candies would be left?
S3 (16:18):
Hmm. We started with 20 and gave ten away, so
there should be 11, 12, 13, 20. That's ten. We'd
still have ten candy bars.
S2 (16:32):
But what if we gave those ten kids two candy
bars each? How many would be left then?
S3 (16:40):
Hmm. Ten kids and two bars each. That's ten. Lots
of two. Which comes to 20? We'd have given them
all away. There'd be none left.
S2 (16:53):
Maddy, what do birds say on Halloween?
S3 (16:57):
I don't know, what do birds say on Halloween?
S2 (17:01):
Trick or treat.
S3 (17:05):
Here's a question for you. What kind of horse does
a ghost ride?
S2 (17:10):
I couldn't guess.
S3 (17:12):
What a nightmare.
S2 (17:15):
Oh.
S3 (17:16):
And what's a monster's favorite game?
S2 (17:20):
Do monsters have games?
S3 (17:23):
They sure do. They play hide and shriek.
S2 (17:27):
Our story today is about monsters and about Renee, who
was a super cook when she opened a cafe at
the edge of the woods where the monsters lived. She
found they didn't like her special dishes.
S3 (17:43):
But her waiter had a plan, and all it took
was a little changing how the food looked and a
few name changes for the dishes and. Oh, but you'll
have to listen to the story to find out what happened.
S2 (17:59):
Renee and comfort in the cafe at the edge of
the woods. Written by Mikey. Please. Renee dreamed of fine cuisine,
And so she saved up every bean, then built a
building beam by beam. The cafe at the edge of
(18:23):
the woods where all the monsters lived. She put a
sign in the window. It said waiter wanted. Apply inside.
A single applicant replied. I suppose you'll do. Then Rene
said it was a goblin. The waiter's name was glum.
(18:47):
Foot above the door there hung a bell to welcome
in new clientele, but every morning silence fell. No customers
came calling. Rene was sad. Perhaps this plot is the
worst spot, a business plan. I sure had not my
(19:11):
hopes and dreams turned to rut. The waiter went out walking.
He soon returned with company, who stooped and stumbled clumsily.
The man was taller than a tree. A customer croaked clubfoot.
(19:31):
Rene gawped and gasped in awe. Knuckles dragged upon the
floor and tusks stuck from a lower jaw. The customer
was an ogre. Uh and uh oh. I. Said Rene.
(19:53):
A today's special is gravlax with saffron sauteed sticklebacks. I'll
grab a bag of pickled bats, croaked the ogre. Pickled.
What's said Rene. The truffle stew is rather nice. It
comes with peas and long grain rice, rats and slugs
(20:19):
and batted mice and mice. Rene. Uh, perhaps you'd like
the cheddar tart. It's topped with chopped artichoke heart. A
bag of bats that smells like fart. Smells like what?
Shrieked Rene. That's it. No more. I've had enough! I
(20:45):
shan't serve such disgusting stuff! Rene stormed off in a huff.
One moment, sir, said clubfoot, and went to find Rene,
who was weeping in the kitchen. I knew this was
an awful plan. Back my porcelain and pan. Clubfoot. Fetch
a moving van. The waiter leant and whispered. The ogres
(21:11):
had a change of heart. He'd loved to try the
cheddar tartan. All the rest. Best make a start. His
appetite's enormous. Rene's hand went to her chest. Her heart
was pumping through her vest. He'll have nothing but the
very best comfort. Fetch the saucepan with fire and oil
(21:33):
and swirling blade pastry. Puffed mushroom sauteed, each dish delicately
displayed on top of Comfort's trolley. But as soon as
Rene turned her back, glum foot shuffled this and that.
So when it reached the ogre's mat, everything looked different.
(21:55):
The tart got flipped onto its back so it looked
like a pickled bat. The saffron swirls and sticklebacks became
the battered mice. The truffle stew was shuffled, too, to
make it look like a slugs in goo. The rice
(22:16):
became maggot fondue. The whole lot looked disgusting. Renee glanced
up as Glam Foot wheeled the ogre, his gigantic meal.
She held her breath. Would this appeal? The ogre looked suspicious. Then,
(22:36):
with a roar, the ogre ate every scrap on every plate.
He burped and mumbled. That was great. Renee was delighted.
She burst out of the kitchen door. You liked it?
Would you like some more? I'll take a plate of
(22:59):
this stuff. Your maggots was delicious. Maggots? On her heel.
She spun foot. Tell me, what have you done? When
I turned from peach to plum, the ogre interrupted. I
never news that slugs could be so crispy, yet so
(23:23):
tingly with subtle hints of salty sea. Renee's mouth hung open,
and who news that old bat could taste nothing like
some household waste. Uh, that would be the miso paste,
said Renee, standing straighter. Thanks for that. All come agains
(23:47):
until all my family and friends. There's lots of folks
around these ends who'd like this sorts of gubbins. Knuckles
dragged towards the door, a smile creased the tusked lined
jaw and on the table. Saw a pile of golden
(24:11):
nuggets Comfort. I've been a nincompoop. But you've shown me
a different route. From now on, I shall make the
soup and you shall write the menu. From that day
forth above the door, the bell tinkled. As more and
more creatures from legend and lore came looking for some breakfast.
(24:41):
And René cooked up fine cuisine. While glum Foote's menus
raised a scream. He'd written. Nettle salad, fried poops, worms
in mud. They truly were the perfect team in the
(25:02):
café at the edge of the woods.
S6 (25:07):
Hi, Maxim. How are you today?
S4 (25:08):
Good.
S6 (25:09):
That's good. We're in the studio. Thanks for coming in
with me today. Did you hear Happy Pants earlier? Yeah.
What did you think?
S1 (25:17):
Great.
S6 (25:19):
Geraldine, read one of your books today. Do you remember
the name of the book?
S4 (25:23):
Cafe at the edge of the woods?
S6 (25:26):
Do you like that book?
S4 (25:27):
Yes.
S6 (25:28):
What do you like about that book?
S4 (25:30):
Because it's at the edge of the forest.
S6 (25:33):
And what is one of the animals or creatures that
comes to the cafe?
S4 (25:38):
Fox and a tree.
S6 (25:40):
And who's the really big guy with the knuckles dragging
on the floor? Do you remember what sort of creature?
S4 (25:45):
The ogre.
S6 (25:47):
And does he like the food?
S4 (25:48):
Yes.
S6 (25:50):
Would you like the food?
S4 (25:51):
No.
S6 (25:54):
What's your favorite food?
S4 (25:55):
Um, pasta.
S6 (25:58):
What are you going to dress up as on Halloween?
S4 (26:00):
As a dragon? Actually a pumpkin.
S6 (26:07):
Where did you see someone dressed as a pumpkin before?
S4 (26:10):
On Scooby dooby doo.
S3 (26:13):
That was a reading of the cafe at the edge
of the woods, ridden by Mikey, please. The reader was Geraldine.
S2 (26:22):
So what have we done today? We found out quite
a lot about the Braille scent six, which Maddie uses
for reading and writing.
S3 (26:31):
Talking of my Braille scent six, I've definitely had some
funny moments with it. One of the funniest was when
the device somehow changed its language to French, so everything
on the Braille sense was in French. I couldn't understand
a word of it. Another time was in class, and
(26:52):
somehow the device's electronic voiceover accidentally came on really loud.
It started talking when it was very quiet in the
room and everybody heard it. It certainly got a good
laugh out of the class. Even the teacher had a
bit of a giggle.
S2 (27:09):
I wish I'd been there to hear that. Something else
we did today was to find out about Halloween and
how it started.
S3 (27:18):
The Halloween we have today is very different from the
way that it was in the beginning.
S2 (27:23):
If there was anything in today's program about which you
would like more information, you can find us on radio
at Vision Australia.
S3 (27:33):
Keep wearing those happy pants.
S2 (27:36):
And we'll.
S3 (27:37):
Catch you next time.
S6 (27:41):
Happy pants is produced on the lands of the Whadjuk
Noongar people. Vision Australia Radio acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Islander peoples as the first Australians, and the traditional owners
of the land across our working area, we pay our
respects to elders past, present and future in maintaining their cultures,
countries and their spiritual connection to the lands and waters.
Vision Australia Radio acknowledges and respects the genuine diversity and
(28:05):
richness of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples across Australia.
Have You Pants has been made possible with the support
of the Community Broadcasting Foundation.
One, two, three. It's happy pants.
S2 (00:26):
Good day, and welcome to Happy Pants, a show especially
for kids and especially for you. My name is Geraldine.
S3 (00:34):
And my name is Maddie.
S2 (00:36):
And together, we'll be your happy pants team for today.
Are you wearing your happy pants today? We are. And
today they're orange. This kind of orange makes me think
of sweet, tangy marmalade on my hot buttered toast.
S3 (00:54):
My happy pants feel soft and silky like the fur
on my cat. Her name is marmalade because mom says
she is striped orange and yellow with a little bit
of white. Like marmalade jam. I can't see her, but
I can feel her soft, silky fur. And hear her
purr when she curls up on my lap.
S2 (01:16):
I see you have your Braille scent sticks with you, Maddie.
I've been meaning to ask, what can it do and
how does it work?
S3 (01:26):
My Braille Sense six is a cool computer like device
which turns print into Braille. It has buttons for the
six braille dots. And whatever I write, I can read
on a display with my fingers. I can watch videos,
listen to music, write documents, and much more.
S2 (01:46):
Well, the first thing we need to do this morning
is check out our happy pants pockets. It offers always
magics things in there. Clues about something.
S3 (01:57):
I've heard about that we have to put the clues
together and work out what we are supposed to talk about.
This is my first time as a clue sorter reader.
I hope they aren't too hard.
S2 (02:08):
Well, let's have a look and see you go first. Maddie.
S3 (02:12):
Right, first pocket. It won't bite, will it?
S2 (02:17):
No. Head office sometimes does play tricks, though. One morning
they put in a rhyming bug and it bit us
when we let it out. And a bite from a
rhyming bug means that everything you say has to rhyme
until the bite wears off.
S3 (02:34):
Mm. Well, whatever this thing is, it certainly is not
a bug. It's big, heavy, smooth skinned, a little bit
flat on the top and bottom. And there seems to
be a stalk growing out of the top. It must
have come from a plant.
S2 (02:52):
Oh, you're dead on the money, Maddy. It's a pumpkin.
While you were dragging that out of your pocket, I
did a bit of digging round in mine and found
this black pointy hat like a witch might wear.
S3 (03:07):
I just found this stuffed in mine. It feels like
a smooth wooden pole with a bundle of stiff straw
tied on the end. I think it's something with which
you might sweep the floor.
S2 (03:22):
I'm starting to get an idea of what all this
is about, because my other pocket had a big bag
of candy bars in it.
S3 (03:30):
I think I know what all those clues mean. Pumpkin.
Witch's hat. Broom and candy.
S2 (03:38):
Well, something popped into my brain, too. Let's say it
together and see if we both had the same thought. One. Two. Three.
S3 (03:48):
Halloween. Halloween is almost here. We can dress up as
witches or ghosts or ogres or any other kind of
imaginary monster and scare people when they come round trick
or treating. Why is it called Halloween, by the way?
S2 (04:07):
Oh, Halloween started thousands of years ago in Britain. Back
then it was called Samhain, and it was celebrated on
the first day of winter. In winter, all the fields
would be covered with snow. So on Samhain, all the
animals were brought in and tucked away in barns where
they'd stay until spring melted the snow and the grass
(04:29):
could grow again. Samhain was also the day when the Lords,
who owned all the land, collected rent for the next
year from the farmers.
S3 (04:40):
That must be where the name landlord comes from.
S2 (04:44):
It must be, I guess, as well as being the
day when the herds were brought in and rents were paid.
It was believed that on Samhain evening, the souls of
those who had died came back to visit their old homes.
Some were friendly ghosts, but some might be angry about something.
So bonfires were lit to scare off angry ghosts, and
(05:07):
people wore masks and disguises so bad spirits wouldn't recognize them.
S3 (05:12):
Ah, I can understand that. That's where the costumes and
dressing up comes from. But when did Samhain become Halloween?
S2 (05:22):
Oh, that started happening about 2000 years ago, when Christianity
first came to Britain. The Christians wanted a special day
to remember all the saints, as well as to honor
the souls of those who died. And they called it
Holy evening. The old word for holy was hallowed. And
the day was for all saints and all souls. So
(05:43):
it was called All Hallows Evening.
S3 (05:47):
Over the years the name was shorten and it ended
up as Halloween. When did giving candy treats start?
S2 (05:54):
Well, that was way back to when the churches started
celebrating All Saints Day as Halloween. It was the custom
for rich people to make small, sweet cakes, which could
be given to the poor on that day. Trick or
treating is a modern invention. Treats were certainly given, But
tricking wasn't part of the celebrations.
S3 (06:17):
Like adding witches and ogres and ghosts and other imaginary monsters,
ghoulies and ghosties, long legged beasties and things that go
bump in the night. Ooh. There is a great piece
of music with all of those in it. As the
(06:39):
music plays, you can imagine all sorts of monstrous things
like ghosts, floating skeletons rattling their bones, witches whooshing by
on their broomsticks, even an ogre or two stomping along,
dragging their knuckles on the floor.
S2 (06:59):
Oh, let's play it and see what sort of Halloween
monsters you can have fun with while the music plays.
S4 (08:19):
Happy Pants is a special radio show just for kids
like you and me.
S3 (08:25):
Why do we have to have the same sort of
Halloween monsters as other countries? Don't we have any dinkum
Aussie ones?
S2 (08:34):
Well, we certainly have the Bunyip. That's an imaginary creature
with a furry coat like a seal. It's supposed to
live in water holes and swamps. And although its main
food is fish and water birds, it loves to gobble
up any humans silly enough to swim in its water
hole at night. So they say.
S3 (08:58):
I wouldn't mind dressing up as a bunyip just for
one night. Although a nice furry coat would be pretty
good when it's cold.
S4 (10:57):
What scares you the most?
S5 (10:59):
It might sound weird, but I have a phobia of escalators.
S4 (11:03):
Poisonous snakes. I don't like being alone.
S2 (11:09):
Then there's the Yowie. Sometimes called the Yahoo! that one
is supposed to be like a giant human covered head
to toe with shaggy hair. It prefers to stay away
from humans, but if a human gets too close, it
will wave its shaggy arms and yell Yahoo! Well, that's
(11:33):
enough to scare most humans off. But if one is
silly enough not to run, the Yowie may attack. It
will wrap its hairy arms around the fool and hug
him to death.
S3 (11:47):
I think the closest I want to get to a
Yowie is to yell Yahoo when I jump into my
swimming pool, although a shaggy, hairy costume would look pretty
cool for Halloween.
S2 (12:01):
We do have one ghost story everyone knows though.
S3 (12:06):
Of course Waltzing Matilda. That's the story of a swagman
who stole a sheep and was sitting under a tree
getting ready to cook it when the owner turned up
with three policemen to arrest him. The swagman didn't fancy
going to jail, so he jumped into the billabong and drowned.
S2 (12:29):
Or maybe a bunyip got him.
S3 (12:34):
Either way, he died. And the song says that he
can still be heard if you happen to pass by
that particular billabong.
S2 (14:37):
Maddie. I've been watching the way your fingers fly back
and forth over that Braille as you read. Was it
very hard to learn being able to do that? Must
have been a great help when you were studying for
your exams.
S3 (14:51):
Yes, I do use my fingers to read Braille. It
took me just under a year to learn to read
the Braille code. There was a lot to learn, but
it makes my everyday life a lot easier and is
a very valuable skill to have. The Braille sense has
definitely helped me with my studies and it's a very
(15:13):
important device for when I work with the Happy Pants team.
Now we can use the witches stuff for a Halloween costume,
and we can have the candy bars ready for any
trick or treat visitors. But what should we do with
the pumpkin?
S2 (15:32):
Well, I've thought about that. We could make a jack
o lantern and sit it on the front step.
S3 (15:38):
What's a jack o lantern?
S2 (15:41):
Well, it's a hollowed out pumpkin with a scary face
carved in the skin. You put a candle inside, and
the light shines out through the holes that make the
eyes and mouth. It looks really cool in the dark.
It lets trick or treaters know there's someone at home,
perhaps with candy to give away.
S3 (16:00):
What a great idea. We'd better make sure we have
enough candy bars, though. I counted 20 in that bag.
S2 (16:09):
I counted ten children living in this street. If we
gave them one candy each, how many candies would be left?
S3 (16:18):
Hmm. We started with 20 and gave ten away, so
there should be 11, 12, 13, 20. That's ten. We'd
still have ten candy bars.
S2 (16:32):
But what if we gave those ten kids two candy
bars each? How many would be left then?
S3 (16:40):
Hmm. Ten kids and two bars each. That's ten. Lots
of two. Which comes to 20? We'd have given them
all away. There'd be none left.
S2 (16:53):
Maddy, what do birds say on Halloween?
S3 (16:57):
I don't know, what do birds say on Halloween?
S2 (17:01):
Trick or treat.
S3 (17:05):
Here's a question for you. What kind of horse does
a ghost ride?
S2 (17:10):
I couldn't guess.
S3 (17:12):
What a nightmare.
S2 (17:15):
Oh.
S3 (17:16):
And what's a monster's favorite game?
S2 (17:20):
Do monsters have games?
S3 (17:23):
They sure do. They play hide and shriek.
S2 (17:27):
Our story today is about monsters and about Renee, who
was a super cook when she opened a cafe at
the edge of the woods where the monsters lived. She
found they didn't like her special dishes.
S3 (17:43):
But her waiter had a plan, and all it took
was a little changing how the food looked and a
few name changes for the dishes and. Oh, but you'll
have to listen to the story to find out what happened.
S2 (17:59):
Renee and comfort in the cafe at the edge of
the woods. Written by Mikey. Please. Renee dreamed of fine cuisine,
And so she saved up every bean, then built a
building beam by beam. The cafe at the edge of
(18:23):
the woods where all the monsters lived. She put a
sign in the window. It said waiter wanted. Apply inside.
A single applicant replied. I suppose you'll do. Then Rene
said it was a goblin. The waiter's name was glum.
(18:47):
Foot above the door there hung a bell to welcome
in new clientele, but every morning silence fell. No customers
came calling. Rene was sad. Perhaps this plot is the
worst spot, a business plan. I sure had not my
(19:11):
hopes and dreams turned to rut. The waiter went out walking.
He soon returned with company, who stooped and stumbled clumsily.
The man was taller than a tree. A customer croaked clubfoot.
(19:31):
Rene gawped and gasped in awe. Knuckles dragged upon the
floor and tusks stuck from a lower jaw. The customer
was an ogre. Uh and uh oh. I. Said Rene.
(19:53):
A today's special is gravlax with saffron sauteed sticklebacks. I'll
grab a bag of pickled bats, croaked the ogre. Pickled.
What's said Rene. The truffle stew is rather nice. It
comes with peas and long grain rice, rats and slugs
(20:19):
and batted mice and mice. Rene. Uh, perhaps you'd like
the cheddar tart. It's topped with chopped artichoke heart. A
bag of bats that smells like fart. Smells like what?
Shrieked Rene. That's it. No more. I've had enough! I
(20:45):
shan't serve such disgusting stuff! Rene stormed off in a huff.
One moment, sir, said clubfoot, and went to find Rene,
who was weeping in the kitchen. I knew this was
an awful plan. Back my porcelain and pan. Clubfoot. Fetch
a moving van. The waiter leant and whispered. The ogres
(21:11):
had a change of heart. He'd loved to try the
cheddar tartan. All the rest. Best make a start. His
appetite's enormous. Rene's hand went to her chest. Her heart
was pumping through her vest. He'll have nothing but the
very best comfort. Fetch the saucepan with fire and oil
(21:33):
and swirling blade pastry. Puffed mushroom sauteed, each dish delicately
displayed on top of Comfort's trolley. But as soon as
Rene turned her back, glum foot shuffled this and that.
So when it reached the ogre's mat, everything looked different.
(21:55):
The tart got flipped onto its back so it looked
like a pickled bat. The saffron swirls and sticklebacks became
the battered mice. The truffle stew was shuffled, too, to
make it look like a slugs in goo. The rice
(22:16):
became maggot fondue. The whole lot looked disgusting. Renee glanced
up as Glam Foot wheeled the ogre, his gigantic meal.
She held her breath. Would this appeal? The ogre looked suspicious. Then,
(22:36):
with a roar, the ogre ate every scrap on every plate.
He burped and mumbled. That was great. Renee was delighted.
She burst out of the kitchen door. You liked it?
Would you like some more? I'll take a plate of
(22:59):
this stuff. Your maggots was delicious. Maggots? On her heel.
She spun foot. Tell me, what have you done? When
I turned from peach to plum, the ogre interrupted. I
never news that slugs could be so crispy, yet so
(23:23):
tingly with subtle hints of salty sea. Renee's mouth hung open,
and who news that old bat could taste nothing like
some household waste. Uh, that would be the miso paste,
said Renee, standing straighter. Thanks for that. All come agains
(23:47):
until all my family and friends. There's lots of folks
around these ends who'd like this sorts of gubbins. Knuckles
dragged towards the door, a smile creased the tusked lined
jaw and on the table. Saw a pile of golden
(24:11):
nuggets Comfort. I've been a nincompoop. But you've shown me
a different route. From now on, I shall make the
soup and you shall write the menu. From that day
forth above the door, the bell tinkled. As more and
more creatures from legend and lore came looking for some breakfast.
(24:41):
And René cooked up fine cuisine. While glum Foote's menus
raised a scream. He'd written. Nettle salad, fried poops, worms
in mud. They truly were the perfect team in the
(25:02):
café at the edge of the woods.
S6 (25:07):
Hi, Maxim. How are you today?
S4 (25:08):
Good.
S6 (25:09):
That's good. We're in the studio. Thanks for coming in
with me today. Did you hear Happy Pants earlier? Yeah.
What did you think?
S1 (25:17):
Great.
S6 (25:19):
Geraldine, read one of your books today. Do you remember
the name of the book?
S4 (25:23):
Cafe at the edge of the woods?
S6 (25:26):
Do you like that book?
S4 (25:27):
Yes.
S6 (25:28):
What do you like about that book?
S4 (25:30):
Because it's at the edge of the forest.
S6 (25:33):
And what is one of the animals or creatures that
comes to the cafe?
S4 (25:38):
Fox and a tree.
S6 (25:40):
And who's the really big guy with the knuckles dragging
on the floor? Do you remember what sort of creature?
S4 (25:45):
The ogre.
S6 (25:47):
And does he like the food?
S4 (25:48):
Yes.
S6 (25:50):
Would you like the food?
S4 (25:51):
No.
S6 (25:54):
What's your favorite food?
S4 (25:55):
Um, pasta.
S6 (25:58):
What are you going to dress up as on Halloween?
S4 (26:00):
As a dragon? Actually a pumpkin.
S6 (26:07):
Where did you see someone dressed as a pumpkin before?
S4 (26:10):
On Scooby dooby doo.
S3 (26:13):
That was a reading of the cafe at the edge
of the woods, ridden by Mikey, please. The reader was Geraldine.
S2 (26:22):
So what have we done today? We found out quite
a lot about the Braille scent six, which Maddie uses
for reading and writing.
S3 (26:31):
Talking of my Braille scent six, I've definitely had some
funny moments with it. One of the funniest was when
the device somehow changed its language to French, so everything
on the Braille sense was in French. I couldn't understand
a word of it. Another time was in class, and
(26:52):
somehow the device's electronic voiceover accidentally came on really loud.
It started talking when it was very quiet in the
room and everybody heard it. It certainly got a good
laugh out of the class. Even the teacher had a
bit of a giggle.
S2 (27:09):
I wish I'd been there to hear that. Something else
we did today was to find out about Halloween and
how it started.
S3 (27:18):
The Halloween we have today is very different from the
way that it was in the beginning.
S2 (27:23):
If there was anything in today's program about which you
would like more information, you can find us on radio
at Vision Australia.
S3 (27:33):
Keep wearing those happy pants.
S2 (27:36):
And we'll.
S3 (27:37):
Catch you next time.
S6 (27:41):
Happy pants is produced on the lands of the Whadjuk
Noongar people. Vision Australia Radio acknowledges Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Islander peoples as the first Australians, and the traditional owners
of the land across our working area, we pay our
respects to elders past, present and future in maintaining their cultures,
countries and their spiritual connection to the lands and waters.
Vision Australia Radio acknowledges and respects the genuine diversity and
(28:05):
richness of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples across Australia.
Have You Pants has been made possible with the support
of the Community Broadcasting Foundation.
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