January 17, 2023 • 23 mins
On this episode of Off the Record, Dannie Rogers sits with Sherelle Hogan, a Detroit native and founder of the Pure Heart Foundation. Through Sherelle’s traumatic childhood experience of having both parents incarcerated, she has become an advocate for children of incarcerated parents. She founded the Pure Heart Foundation to bridge the gap and create opportunities for children who are often forgotten. The Detroit native partnered with the Detroit Lions as the first recipient of the Lions' Inspire Change Award.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, I'm joined by Charrell Hogan, the executive director and
founder of Pure Heart Foundation, And if anyone tuned into
the Detroit Lions might cause my cleats game Pure Heart Foundation,
I feel like it was everywhere. That's how we prepared
for that week, was that you're one of our partners
with Comerica Bank to help bring that initiative alive. So,
(00:20):
first off, Charrell, what is Pure Heart Foundation? Absolutely? First,
I would just like to say thank you for having
me be a part of your show. Truly an honor
a pure heart. It's a nonprofit and we support children
of incarcerated parents. So our main goal is to embrace
them and provide critical wraparound services that affords them the
equal assets to have critical services, emotional support, stay connected
(00:44):
to their parents that's incarcerated. Utimately to break that cycle,
that perpetuating cycle of generational incarceration. Why is the foundation
so close to your heart and what you do? Absolutely
just because it was it's a very forgotten population. You know,
two point seven million children Astin's country currently has appearing
incarcerated and no one really thinks about the emotional devastation
(01:06):
the day to day. You know, told it takes on
a child, from trying to navigate day to day life
from having a parent incarcerated. But most importantly, I lived
that right. I was a child of two incarcerated parents.
As a child. My mom went to prison and I
was six for the first time, and my father went
when I was seven, and immediately after I watched them
both being handcuffed. I was sitting in a room, you know,
(01:28):
in a courtroom with at least thirty to forty people,
and not one of the people that was in there
was to specifically advocate for me, and because of that,
my life changed immediately. Did you have family members or
did you have siblings too where they are going through
that process with you? Absolutely? So I did not have
any siblings at the time currently in the courtroom because
(01:49):
I was raised as an only child. I do have
siblings on my father's side that I became aware of
far after his incarceration, but for his family, I believe
I had one family member. They are present in the
courtroom with me during that time. But again, you're thinking
about a six and seven year old girl at the time.
You know, no one could replace my parents, so it
(02:12):
didn't matter who was really there. I just wanted them,
and knowing that I couldn't leave with them was devastating.
Do you specifically still remember the moment you were in
the courtroom as even a six year old I do.
Do you try not to remember it or is it
just a core memory that you might be thankful for
not At this point, a part of me don't want
(02:32):
to remember it just because it's very traumatic. You know,
it's emotional, it's triggering, right, especially because I do this
work every single day. But I'm grateful that I do
have that memory because now as a leader, I can
you use that as fuel to make sure that young
people like me do not have to experience what I
experienced when you no longer had either of your parents?
(02:55):
Where did you go? Who took care of you? Everyone?
To be honest, I live with family, friends, people from church,
the community I feel like raised me in a sense.
Fortunately I did not have to enter the foster care system.
I mean, I'm extremely grateful for that, but it was
still challenging because I was trying to always fit in places.
(03:17):
I never felt a sense of family or ownership within
myself because I was, you know, visiting friends for the
holidays or spending the holidays with my aunts and uncles
and friends, and although they loved me, it could not
compare to the long game that I wanted from my
mom or dad during those times, and most of that
(03:37):
family was in Detroit. Yes, yeah, Well is there a
moment when you look back where even as a six,
seven eight year old, you felt behind the eight ball
or that life was just gonna be very difficult from
here on out. Absolutely? I can remember as a child
not even wanting to live, if I could be honest,
just because I felt so alone. I felt like I
(03:58):
was in, you know, a world where no one recognized me,
no one understood the pain that I was experiencing, and
I was silenced to just process that alone. You know,
when I was in school, I couldn't tell my teacher
or my classmates that the reason why my parents didn't
come to parent teacher conference, it's because they're in prison. Right.
I couldn't go to the family member that was, in
(04:22):
a sense, sacrificing more of their means to take care
of me because my parents were incarcerated. So I was
constantly in a battle alone and at one point was
living work like was life worth living? As a child,
because all your experience in is pain. Right, So did
you did that make you get a job sooner? Like?
(04:43):
Were you working before the normal I don't know sixteen
eighteen year olds? No, I was not. So it's it's
this huge misconception sometimes when a child loses their parents
use incarceration, we automatically think probity, right, But to not
get too deep into my pas parents incarceration, we were
well off. Yeah, right, So financially I never struggle. It
(05:06):
was just emotionally and psychologically, and when you think about it,
that's beyond finances, right. So I didn't have to get
a job. I didn't feel the need to financially to
try to provide for myself. But I did strive to
take ownership of my own life. So I was the
young kid in the library at thirteen, you know, researching
(05:27):
how do I become my own legal guardian? How do
I make sure that I can make decisions that's best
for me, to make sure that I had a fair
chance to thrive. Right, So, is there a high percentage
of kids who then do need financial assistance? Absolutely? So
automatically a household decreases by twenty nine percent when a
parent is you know, separated from the household due to incarceration. Right,
(05:51):
So I'll give you an example of pure heart. We
currently served two hundred and thirty young people this year.
Eighty five percent of them are in low income household. Right,
So can you imagine them already having a financial insecurity
on top of now their other parents or in some
cases both of their parents are incarcerated to how do
I navigate financially just day to day for basic needs?
(06:13):
You know, school uniforms, academic enrichment, right, extra curricular activities
is a challenge. But thankfully, Pierre Heart is that bridge
that feels that gap and provide those resources. You talked
about being a thirteen year old doing your own research
in high school. One thing that I thought saw that
was so impressive. You managed to graduate at the top
of your class at your high school. Well, what is it, so,
(06:36):
I don't say it correctly, your high school. Absolutely, So.
I attended to Detroit School of Performing Arts. Yeah, oh
my gosh, to study journalism, yes, which is amazing. Why
did you why? Why is that the path you wanted
to go into journalism? So honestly, I did not choose DSA. Okay,
let's start there. So I was very athletic right. So
I went to etzel Ford and I was the you know,
(06:56):
star point guard at the time my ninth grade year,
and the family member that I was living with felt
like I was put into much emphasis on athletics. So
I was placed in a school with no sports, which
was the essay. So again I'm persevering and facing the
opposition and trying to turn you know, a negative into
a positive. And I found out that they had a
journalism major, so I took up journalism because writing was
(07:21):
very important to me as a young girl. I found
my voice in writing and I wanted to continue that
because essentially write and saved my life. Yeah, do you
ever think back about the basketball career that could have been?
All the time? All that. So it's funny because one
of the things that I do when I'm extremely stressed
(07:42):
is out go in a gym and just shoot around
and it just allows me to you know, release pressure, anger,
anything that I'm experiencing. But it gives me a space
to go back because basketball was such a huge part
of my life as a child, A positive part, Yeah,
I can imagine. And then you went on to the
University of Michigan where you got your BA and child's psychology,
(08:04):
which is not journalism. So how did you start going
over into this path of psychology? Absolutely? So, during high
school I managed to meet my first mentor. Her name
is Doria Barnes. Never forget this woman. She was this
positive light. And you know, she told me at that time,
little girl, you know you've experienced so much, but I promise,
if you stick with it, if you stay dedicated and motivated,
(08:27):
so much is going to come from your experience. And
I didn't understand what she meant then, because when you
experience so much bad, it's difficult to see the good. Right.
So after months of her basically making me see what
she saw in myself, I had an opportunity to go
to DC my freshman year in college, and I worked
(08:50):
for the Children's Defense Fund and I worked with middle
schoolers at a middle school for the summer through their
summer camp call Freedom School, And through that I fell
in love with children, and it really changed the trajectory
of the career path that I thought, right, I always
wanted to be a professional writer, which I wrote a book,
so essentially it still happened right, right, But it was
(09:13):
a huge, huge purpose, you know, beyond me writing, and
that's when everything about my life changed to making sure
that children lives could be saved. I love that you
mentioned your book. It's called What the Prisoners Kid? Yes, yeah, yeah.
Do you get very real in that about your story? Yeah,
It's it's an open book, Danny. It just walks you
(09:34):
through top to bottom of everything that I experienced as
a child. If I could sum it up, it's a
love letter to my parents, and it's the first time
that I really articulate how their incarceration made me feel.
And you told me before this started, your best friends
with your mom. Unfortunately your dad passed away when you're
a little but what is the relationship that dannymook like
(09:56):
with your mom? So it was challenging at first, right,
because so much of my childhood and the pivotal moments
as me, you know, growing as a young girl and
becoming a young adult, she was incarcerated, and when she
came home we had to have very hard conversations to
really unpack some of the experiences that I had to
(10:18):
endure while she was away, and even when she was home,
and when I became an adult, I had a voice,
not as just her daughter, but as a woman, and
it wasn't easy. We had to do work, we had
to go to therapy. But from that and our willingness
to you know, want and have the relationship that we desired,
it's great. She's like my best friend. We talk every
(10:39):
single day. She supports Pure Heart. She pushes me to
keep going with Pure Heart, just because she understands how
important this work is because we lived it. And you
told me your dad passed away two months after he
was released years ten years old. So it was just like,
you know, blow after blow, when is it not to stop? Right?
But I'm so grateful for my journey. Do you do
(11:03):
you feel sad that you couldn't have that same experience
with your dad. So many instances where I, you know, think, wow,
if my dad was here, I talked to him about this,
or you know, my dad was here, probably would have
got that heartbroke in that time because you probably would
have been able to filter that, right. But it's so
(11:23):
many moments, as women and as little girls, we need
a dad. You know, we need men, positive men who
genuinely loves us, protect us and cover us from things
that we can't see, you know, So I always wish
that he was here, but I know that he's with me.
When we talk about Pure Heart, we talked about the
aid that you're giving kids to develop relationships with their
(11:47):
parents who are in prison, But did you anything to
how parents have been incarcerated. Absolutely, So we just started
an initiative called our Family Unification Right. So at first,
initially it was only to make sure that the kiddos
stay connected to their parents that's incarcerated, And once parents
began to come home and caregivers became more involved in
(12:09):
Pure Heart, we understood that attacking this challenge from a
family perspective and not just a child perspective would truly
give us the success that we want to see in
this generational cycle ending. So now for parents coming home,
we offer family unification therapy. We have restorative practices circles
to make sure that during that transition they have emotional
(12:33):
support to communicate with their child. We have financial assistance
that we can do, and then we also have a
caregiver relief fund for the parent that's not incarcerated to
make sure that we can eliminate financial barriers that they
may face while they're the sole parent financially and emotionally
for the child. I know one big emphasis emphasis something
(12:54):
you guys emphasize was getting transportation for kids to visit
their parents in prison. Yes. Is that something you didn't
experience when your parents were incarcerated. Yes, so the I
think six to fourteen, I never physically visited my parents.
You couldn't get there, no, Wow, No, were they far away.
(13:14):
My mother was out of state. My dad he did more,
you know, county and out one or two years. My
mom is the one who actually served federal prison time,
and she was in Virginia, and you didn't see her
from six to fourteen years old. No, Wow, phone calls,
FaceTime phone calls, they didn't happen as often. But he
(13:36):
did communicate at that time. It wasn't a thing of
FaceTime or video visits during that time. But I really
wanted to see her, but it just wasn't a priority
of the people that I was with to get me
to her. Wow. Did they at some point? Not trying
to make you not love your mom anymore, but lack
(13:56):
of support. Could you feel that? Yes? Yeah, you know
I lived it. You know I experienced it. And it's
not that I disliked my mother Ford, you know, especially
as I became older and an adult woman, I understood
her story, you know, and we talked yesterday and something
that she's never told me, but she told me today,
(14:19):
so I'm still processing it so we could process it together.
But she said, you know, I never wanted kids, and
when I had you, I had you because you know,
your dad really wanted you, yea. And the reality is,
she said, I had to learn to love you because
I didn't want you, right, And you hear that, and
(14:41):
it's like, what type of person would say that? A
very honest person, right, A person that knows exactly what
they want and what they don't want, and now that
they're presented with something that they didn't want, how do
you expect them to respond? You know, at six and seven,
I wouldn't understood that, But as an adult, I can,
you know, wholeheartedly understand that. Am I making excuses for
(15:03):
some of the choices, Absolutely not, because I don't think
I would have made the choices that she made, But
I never was in her position, right, So to answer
your question, I love her, I honor her, you know,
but I am very aware that her decisions is some
of the reason why I experience what I experienced, and
why Pure Heart Foundation exists exactly, which is amazing. Yes,
(15:26):
this is not your first time in the Detroit Lions facility,
you told me, So what is the work you've been
doing with the Detroit Lions. What does that partnership look like? Absolutely? So.
In twenty nineteen, I was notified by a former staff
member of the Detroit Lions that we were selected to
be a part of the Inspired Change Initiative. And from
(15:47):
there that relationship started and has been going on for
about three to four years now. They financially support our
mental health component and because of that, scholars have received
group therapy and visual therapy, holistic after school programs, and
we've had an outcome of a ninety eight percent behavioral
and emotional improvement rate since that. So it's been an
(16:09):
incredible journey with the Lions. And I'm sure you know
that I was selected to be the first Inspired Change maker. Yes,
so that's incredible too. And what did that mean for
Pure Heart Foundation for you to be nominated for that?
When I found out I was nominated, I was shocked. Yeah, right,
(16:30):
just because when you start something and you're so passionate
about something, never do you think that the magnitude in
which it reaches people to understand your work resonates to
the point where they want to nominate you for an
AWAR that never even existed. Right, So it was a
tremendous honor for me as a leader, and it was
(16:51):
huge for pure heart because every win I take as
an individual to the scholars, I'm seen as both of
her parents were incarcerated. So if mister l can do that,
that can be me, you know. So I take pride
in accomplishing things like that because not only is it
for me, but it's for the other millions of children
(17:15):
who may feel hopeless right now, lonely right now and
don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So it was incredible. What were some of the perks
that came with that, Yes, so unbeknownst to me, I
didn't know that a ten thousand dollars check would come
with that, right I received I'm wearing it now some
inspired year, right, but also ultimately just being able to
(17:39):
say that, right, I am the first ever inspired change
maker presented by the Detroit Lions, And it's an honor amazing.
What kind of partnership collaboration did you have with the
My Cause, My cleats initiative this year. I have a
pair of shoes that haven't Your Heart Foundation on it
and they're awesome. So America Bank selected Pure Heart to
(18:00):
be the recipient of My Cause My Cleaque campaign this
last year, and at first I didn't know what exactly
that entailed, and then the Detroit Lions let me know
that they wouldn't match any donations that we received up
to one hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, you guys hit that. Yes,
we exceeded the goal. We actually raised close to one
hundred and fourth one hundred thousand dollars in nineteen days.
(18:23):
So it was incredible. Oh my gosh, is that the
most you probably raised in that amount of time? Yes?
You know what. When they presented the matching period, I said,
are you sure that's the only that's that's the only
time we get And they're like yeah. I'm like it's
nineteen days, Yeah, that's it. Nineteen but nineteen at the
(18:44):
fourth quarter and I fundraised, you know, as my career
now for Pure Hearts. So I'm like, it's fourth quarter.
Everyone books are closed until next year. How am I
going to raise one hundred thousand dollars in nineteen days?
So I went back to them again. I said you
sure you don't want to extend it, and they said
you're fine, Yeah, you can do it right, And they
was right because we exceeded the goal. Surprisingly, the NFL
(19:06):
is um it's a large entity. Yes, it gets things going,
absolutely amazing. What is your favorite part about being connected
disconnected to the hometown team in the Detroit Lions. It
really speaks to my goal and vision for Pure Heart,
and that's to give children of incarcerated pearance a place
where they can reimagine their lives and community knowing that
(19:30):
they're they're supported and seen right. So why not be
able to say the Detroit Lions organization right in their
hometown supports them, sees them, spend times with them right,
and cultivate the visions that they have inside of them
as young people. So it means the world to know
(19:51):
that the Detroit Lions support Pure Heart. You know where
else do we go from there? Right? It's no, it's amazing.
You've been able to do what is possibly next for
Pure Heart Foundation? How do you want to keep growing? Absolutely?
So the goal is to be a nationally replicated model,
just because I understand that children have incarceprated parents exists everywhere,
(20:13):
but the short term goal is to expand throughout the
state of Michigan, which we've begun that process. We're actually
expanding too grand rapids in the middle of this year.
So I'm extremely proud and happy for that. So that
would be the first thought that comes from mind when
you say national or statewide brand is like a boys
and Girls club absolute model that is national. Yep, It's
(20:33):
easily to be replicated, right, I just want to drop
a pure Heart scholar sensor, yeah, around the world, just
so that you know, young people experiencing the same equal
life challenge can go through that journey together and not alone.
That's beautiful. How do people support Pure Heart Foundation? Absolutely? Yes, right, yes,
(20:54):
people can support by visiting our website, which is Pureheart
Foundation dot org. We are on all social media platforms
as pure Heart Cares. And I would tell anyone, right
that's not I guess the most knowledgeable about children have
incarcerated parents. To just be kind, you know, be kind
(21:14):
to young people because you never know what they're experiencing.
Right currently, right now, for in ten young people in
Detroit have a parent incarcerated. Wow. Right, So just understanding
that we don't look like what we've been through, and
it's important to be kind and just being kind can
saved someone's life. One last thing to put you on
(21:35):
the spot, what is your favorite story based on a
child that you've helped with incarcerated parents? Share as much
as you can. Oh my goodness. One that might stick
out to you as a core memory. I think I
would have to talk about our first boy scholar. Okay.
(21:55):
I met him when he was twelve years old, and
at the time, his father was incarcerated. In a year
after him being enrolled in the program, his mom went
to prison as well. So now both of his parents
are incarcerated, and we had transparent conversations, you know, about
how just he didn't want to live and how life
(22:16):
was just so hopeless for him. Right fast forward, he
graduated high school, full time entrepreneur, he's in a four
year college university. He's never been to juvenile he didn't
perpetuate the cycle of incarceration. Both of his parents are home.
He's a mentor now at Pere Heart and it just right, Yeah,
(22:40):
going to be emotional, but it's why I do the
work that I did. He's nineteen oh my gosh, he's
nineteen years old. So it's so many stories that I can,
you know, talk about, but his is just so powerful
because I remember meeting him and he was so guarded,
(23:01):
and you know, he was had this sense of I'm
not going to say embarrassment, but he was afraid to
really tell his story. And now he tells it, you know,
with so much confidence because he understands it. Just because
he was a child of incarcerated parent does not mean
he has to be a parent that'll be incarcerated. Doesn't
(23:22):
mean that he has to you know, be entangled in
that criminal justice system. So although he was a statistic,
he did not become one. I love that. That's all
I got for you. Is there anything else you would
like to add? I just want to say thank you,
thank you for making time for us. It's a big
week for us, and I know you're always busy with
(23:44):
what's on your place, so we really appreciate it. Thank you.
Today, I'm joined by Charrell Hogan, the executive director and
founder of Pure Heart Foundation, And if anyone tuned into
the Detroit Lions might cause my cleats game Pure Heart Foundation,
I feel like it was everywhere. That's how we prepared
for that week, was that you're one of our partners
with Comerica Bank to help bring that initiative alive. So,
(00:20):
first off, Charrell, what is Pure Heart Foundation? Absolutely? First,
I would just like to say thank you for having
me be a part of your show. Truly an honor
a pure heart. It's a nonprofit and we support children
of incarcerated parents. So our main goal is to embrace
them and provide critical wraparound services that affords them the
equal assets to have critical services, emotional support, stay connected
(00:44):
to their parents that's incarcerated. Utimately to break that cycle,
that perpetuating cycle of generational incarceration. Why is the foundation
so close to your heart and what you do? Absolutely
just because it was it's a very forgotten population. You know,
two point seven million children Astin's country currently has appearing
incarcerated and no one really thinks about the emotional devastation
(01:06):
the day to day. You know, told it takes on
a child, from trying to navigate day to day life
from having a parent incarcerated. But most importantly, I lived
that right. I was a child of two incarcerated parents.
As a child. My mom went to prison and I
was six for the first time, and my father went
when I was seven, and immediately after I watched them
both being handcuffed. I was sitting in a room, you know,
(01:28):
in a courtroom with at least thirty to forty people,
and not one of the people that was in there
was to specifically advocate for me, and because of that,
my life changed immediately. Did you have family members or
did you have siblings too where they are going through
that process with you? Absolutely? So I did not have
any siblings at the time currently in the courtroom because
(01:49):
I was raised as an only child. I do have
siblings on my father's side that I became aware of
far after his incarceration, but for his family, I believe
I had one family member. They are present in the
courtroom with me during that time. But again, you're thinking
about a six and seven year old girl at the time.
You know, no one could replace my parents, so it
(02:12):
didn't matter who was really there. I just wanted them,
and knowing that I couldn't leave with them was devastating.
Do you specifically still remember the moment you were in
the courtroom as even a six year old I do.
Do you try not to remember it or is it
just a core memory that you might be thankful for
not At this point, a part of me don't want
(02:32):
to remember it just because it's very traumatic. You know,
it's emotional, it's triggering, right, especially because I do this
work every single day. But I'm grateful that I do
have that memory because now as a leader, I can
you use that as fuel to make sure that young
people like me do not have to experience what I
experienced when you no longer had either of your parents?
(02:55):
Where did you go? Who took care of you? Everyone?
To be honest, I live with family, friends, people from church,
the community I feel like raised me in a sense.
Fortunately I did not have to enter the foster care system.
I mean, I'm extremely grateful for that, but it was
still challenging because I was trying to always fit in places.
(03:17):
I never felt a sense of family or ownership within
myself because I was, you know, visiting friends for the
holidays or spending the holidays with my aunts and uncles
and friends, and although they loved me, it could not
compare to the long game that I wanted from my
mom or dad during those times, and most of that
(03:37):
family was in Detroit. Yes, yeah, Well is there a
moment when you look back where even as a six,
seven eight year old, you felt behind the eight ball
or that life was just gonna be very difficult from
here on out. Absolutely? I can remember as a child
not even wanting to live, if I could be honest,
just because I felt so alone. I felt like I
(03:58):
was in, you know, a world where no one recognized me,
no one understood the pain that I was experiencing, and
I was silenced to just process that alone. You know,
when I was in school, I couldn't tell my teacher
or my classmates that the reason why my parents didn't
come to parent teacher conference, it's because they're in prison. Right.
I couldn't go to the family member that was, in
(04:22):
a sense, sacrificing more of their means to take care
of me because my parents were incarcerated. So I was
constantly in a battle alone and at one point was
living work like was life worth living? As a child,
because all your experience in is pain. Right, So did
you did that make you get a job sooner? Like?
(04:43):
Were you working before the normal I don't know sixteen
eighteen year olds? No, I was not. So it's it's
this huge misconception sometimes when a child loses their parents
use incarceration, we automatically think probity, right, But to not
get too deep into my pas parents incarceration, we were
well off. Yeah, right, So financially I never struggle. It
(05:06):
was just emotionally and psychologically, and when you think about it,
that's beyond finances, right. So I didn't have to get
a job. I didn't feel the need to financially to
try to provide for myself. But I did strive to
take ownership of my own life. So I was the
young kid in the library at thirteen, you know, researching
(05:27):
how do I become my own legal guardian? How do
I make sure that I can make decisions that's best
for me, to make sure that I had a fair
chance to thrive. Right, So, is there a high percentage
of kids who then do need financial assistance? Absolutely? So
automatically a household decreases by twenty nine percent when a
parent is you know, separated from the household due to incarceration. Right,
(05:51):
So I'll give you an example of pure heart. We
currently served two hundred and thirty young people this year.
Eighty five percent of them are in low income household. Right,
So can you imagine them already having a financial insecurity
on top of now their other parents or in some
cases both of their parents are incarcerated to how do
I navigate financially just day to day for basic needs?
(06:13):
You know, school uniforms, academic enrichment, right, extra curricular activities
is a challenge. But thankfully, Pierre Heart is that bridge
that feels that gap and provide those resources. You talked
about being a thirteen year old doing your own research
in high school. One thing that I thought saw that
was so impressive. You managed to graduate at the top
of your class at your high school. Well, what is it, so,
(06:36):
I don't say it correctly, your high school. Absolutely, So.
I attended to Detroit School of Performing Arts. Yeah, oh
my gosh, to study journalism, yes, which is amazing. Why
did you why? Why is that the path you wanted
to go into journalism? So honestly, I did not choose DSA. Okay,
let's start there. So I was very athletic right. So
I went to etzel Ford and I was the you know,
(06:56):
star point guard at the time my ninth grade year,
and the family member that I was living with felt
like I was put into much emphasis on athletics. So
I was placed in a school with no sports, which
was the essay. So again I'm persevering and facing the
opposition and trying to turn you know, a negative into
a positive. And I found out that they had a
journalism major, so I took up journalism because writing was
(07:21):
very important to me as a young girl. I found
my voice in writing and I wanted to continue that
because essentially write and saved my life. Yeah, do you
ever think back about the basketball career that could have been?
All the time? All that. So it's funny because one
of the things that I do when I'm extremely stressed
(07:42):
is out go in a gym and just shoot around
and it just allows me to you know, release pressure, anger,
anything that I'm experiencing. But it gives me a space
to go back because basketball was such a huge part
of my life as a child, A positive part, Yeah,
I can imagine. And then you went on to the
University of Michigan where you got your BA and child's psychology,
(08:04):
which is not journalism. So how did you start going
over into this path of psychology? Absolutely? So, during high
school I managed to meet my first mentor. Her name
is Doria Barnes. Never forget this woman. She was this
positive light. And you know, she told me at that time,
little girl, you know you've experienced so much, but I promise,
if you stick with it, if you stay dedicated and motivated,
(08:27):
so much is going to come from your experience. And
I didn't understand what she meant then, because when you
experience so much bad, it's difficult to see the good. Right.
So after months of her basically making me see what
she saw in myself, I had an opportunity to go
to DC my freshman year in college, and I worked
(08:50):
for the Children's Defense Fund and I worked with middle
schoolers at a middle school for the summer through their
summer camp call Freedom School, And through that I fell
in love with children, and it really changed the trajectory
of the career path that I thought, right, I always
wanted to be a professional writer, which I wrote a book,
so essentially it still happened right, right, But it was
(09:13):
a huge, huge purpose, you know, beyond me writing, and
that's when everything about my life changed to making sure
that children lives could be saved. I love that you
mentioned your book. It's called What the Prisoners Kid? Yes, yeah, yeah.
Do you get very real in that about your story? Yeah,
It's it's an open book, Danny. It just walks you
(09:34):
through top to bottom of everything that I experienced as
a child. If I could sum it up, it's a
love letter to my parents, and it's the first time
that I really articulate how their incarceration made me feel.
And you told me before this started, your best friends
with your mom. Unfortunately your dad passed away when you're
a little but what is the relationship that dannymook like
(09:56):
with your mom? So it was challenging at first, right,
because so much of my childhood and the pivotal moments
as me, you know, growing as a young girl and
becoming a young adult, she was incarcerated, and when she
came home we had to have very hard conversations to
really unpack some of the experiences that I had to
(10:18):
endure while she was away, and even when she was home,
and when I became an adult, I had a voice,
not as just her daughter, but as a woman, and
it wasn't easy. We had to do work, we had
to go to therapy. But from that and our willingness
to you know, want and have the relationship that we desired,
it's great. She's like my best friend. We talk every
(10:39):
single day. She supports Pure Heart. She pushes me to
keep going with Pure Heart, just because she understands how
important this work is because we lived it. And you
told me your dad passed away two months after he
was released years ten years old. So it was just like,
you know, blow after blow, when is it not to stop? Right?
But I'm so grateful for my journey. Do you do
(11:03):
you feel sad that you couldn't have that same experience
with your dad. So many instances where I, you know, think, wow,
if my dad was here, I talked to him about this,
or you know, my dad was here, probably would have
got that heartbroke in that time because you probably would
have been able to filter that, right. But it's so
(11:23):
many moments, as women and as little girls, we need
a dad. You know, we need men, positive men who
genuinely loves us, protect us and cover us from things
that we can't see, you know, So I always wish
that he was here, but I know that he's with me.
When we talk about Pure Heart, we talked about the
aid that you're giving kids to develop relationships with their
(11:47):
parents who are in prison, But did you anything to
how parents have been incarcerated. Absolutely, So we just started
an initiative called our Family Unification Right. So at first,
initially it was only to make sure that the kiddos
stay connected to their parents that's incarcerated, And once parents
began to come home and caregivers became more involved in
(12:09):
Pure Heart, we understood that attacking this challenge from a
family perspective and not just a child perspective would truly
give us the success that we want to see in
this generational cycle ending. So now for parents coming home,
we offer family unification therapy. We have restorative practices circles
to make sure that during that transition they have emotional
(12:33):
support to communicate with their child. We have financial assistance
that we can do, and then we also have a
caregiver relief fund for the parent that's not incarcerated to
make sure that we can eliminate financial barriers that they
may face while they're the sole parent financially and emotionally
for the child. I know one big emphasis emphasis something
(12:54):
you guys emphasize was getting transportation for kids to visit
their parents in prison. Yes. Is that something you didn't
experience when your parents were incarcerated. Yes, so the I
think six to fourteen, I never physically visited my parents.
You couldn't get there, no, Wow, No, were they far away.
(13:14):
My mother was out of state. My dad he did more,
you know, county and out one or two years. My
mom is the one who actually served federal prison time,
and she was in Virginia, and you didn't see her
from six to fourteen years old. No, Wow, phone calls,
FaceTime phone calls, they didn't happen as often. But he
(13:36):
did communicate at that time. It wasn't a thing of
FaceTime or video visits during that time. But I really
wanted to see her, but it just wasn't a priority
of the people that I was with to get me
to her. Wow. Did they at some point? Not trying
to make you not love your mom anymore, but lack
(13:56):
of support. Could you feel that? Yes? Yeah, you know
I lived it. You know I experienced it. And it's
not that I disliked my mother Ford, you know, especially
as I became older and an adult woman, I understood
her story, you know, and we talked yesterday and something
that she's never told me, but she told me today,
(14:19):
so I'm still processing it so we could process it together.
But she said, you know, I never wanted kids, and
when I had you, I had you because you know,
your dad really wanted you, yea. And the reality is,
she said, I had to learn to love you because
I didn't want you, right, And you hear that, and
(14:41):
it's like, what type of person would say that? A
very honest person, right, A person that knows exactly what
they want and what they don't want, and now that
they're presented with something that they didn't want, how do
you expect them to respond? You know, at six and seven,
I wouldn't understood that, But as an adult, I can,
you know, wholeheartedly understand that. Am I making excuses for
(15:03):
some of the choices, Absolutely not, because I don't think
I would have made the choices that she made, But
I never was in her position, right, So to answer
your question, I love her, I honor her, you know,
but I am very aware that her decisions is some
of the reason why I experience what I experienced, and
why Pure Heart Foundation exists exactly, which is amazing. Yes,
(15:26):
this is not your first time in the Detroit Lions facility,
you told me, So what is the work you've been
doing with the Detroit Lions. What does that partnership look like? Absolutely? So.
In twenty nineteen, I was notified by a former staff
member of the Detroit Lions that we were selected to
be a part of the Inspired Change Initiative. And from
(15:47):
there that relationship started and has been going on for
about three to four years now. They financially support our
mental health component and because of that, scholars have received
group therapy and visual therapy, holistic after school programs, and
we've had an outcome of a ninety eight percent behavioral
and emotional improvement rate since that. So it's been an
(16:09):
incredible journey with the Lions. And I'm sure you know
that I was selected to be the first Inspired Change maker. Yes,
so that's incredible too. And what did that mean for
Pure Heart Foundation for you to be nominated for that?
When I found out I was nominated, I was shocked. Yeah, right,
(16:30):
just because when you start something and you're so passionate
about something, never do you think that the magnitude in
which it reaches people to understand your work resonates to
the point where they want to nominate you for an
AWAR that never even existed. Right, So it was a
tremendous honor for me as a leader, and it was
(16:51):
huge for pure heart because every win I take as
an individual to the scholars, I'm seen as both of
her parents were incarcerated. So if mister l can do that,
that can be me, you know. So I take pride
in accomplishing things like that because not only is it
for me, but it's for the other millions of children
(17:15):
who may feel hopeless right now, lonely right now and
don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So it was incredible. What were some of the perks
that came with that, Yes, so unbeknownst to me, I
didn't know that a ten thousand dollars check would come
with that, right I received I'm wearing it now some
inspired year, right, but also ultimately just being able to
(17:39):
say that, right, I am the first ever inspired change
maker presented by the Detroit Lions, And it's an honor amazing.
What kind of partnership collaboration did you have with the
My Cause, My cleats initiative this year. I have a
pair of shoes that haven't Your Heart Foundation on it
and they're awesome. So America Bank selected Pure Heart to
(18:00):
be the recipient of My Cause My Cleaque campaign this
last year, and at first I didn't know what exactly
that entailed, and then the Detroit Lions let me know
that they wouldn't match any donations that we received up
to one hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, you guys hit that. Yes,
we exceeded the goal. We actually raised close to one
hundred and fourth one hundred thousand dollars in nineteen days.
(18:23):
So it was incredible. Oh my gosh, is that the
most you probably raised in that amount of time? Yes?
You know what. When they presented the matching period, I said,
are you sure that's the only that's that's the only
time we get And they're like yeah. I'm like it's
nineteen days, Yeah, that's it. Nineteen but nineteen at the
(18:44):
fourth quarter and I fundraised, you know, as my career
now for Pure Hearts. So I'm like, it's fourth quarter.
Everyone books are closed until next year. How am I
going to raise one hundred thousand dollars in nineteen days?
So I went back to them again. I said you
sure you don't want to extend it, and they said
you're fine, Yeah, you can do it right, And they
was right because we exceeded the goal. Surprisingly, the NFL
(19:06):
is um it's a large entity. Yes, it gets things going,
absolutely amazing. What is your favorite part about being connected
disconnected to the hometown team in the Detroit Lions. It
really speaks to my goal and vision for Pure Heart,
and that's to give children of incarcerated pearance a place
where they can reimagine their lives and community knowing that
(19:30):
they're they're supported and seen right. So why not be
able to say the Detroit Lions organization right in their
hometown supports them, sees them, spend times with them right,
and cultivate the visions that they have inside of them
as young people. So it means the world to know
(19:51):
that the Detroit Lions support Pure Heart. You know where
else do we go from there? Right? It's no, it's amazing.
You've been able to do what is possibly next for
Pure Heart Foundation? How do you want to keep growing? Absolutely?
So the goal is to be a nationally replicated model,
just because I understand that children have incarceprated parents exists everywhere,
(20:13):
but the short term goal is to expand throughout the
state of Michigan, which we've begun that process. We're actually
expanding too grand rapids in the middle of this year.
So I'm extremely proud and happy for that. So that
would be the first thought that comes from mind when
you say national or statewide brand is like a boys
and Girls club absolute model that is national. Yep, It's
(20:33):
easily to be replicated, right, I just want to drop
a pure Heart scholar sensor, yeah, around the world, just
so that you know, young people experiencing the same equal
life challenge can go through that journey together and not alone.
That's beautiful. How do people support Pure Heart Foundation? Absolutely? Yes, right, yes,
(20:54):
people can support by visiting our website, which is Pureheart
Foundation dot org. We are on all social media platforms
as pure Heart Cares. And I would tell anyone, right
that's not I guess the most knowledgeable about children have
incarcerated parents. To just be kind, you know, be kind
(21:14):
to young people because you never know what they're experiencing.
Right currently, right now, for in ten young people in
Detroit have a parent incarcerated. Wow. Right, So just understanding
that we don't look like what we've been through, and
it's important to be kind and just being kind can
saved someone's life. One last thing to put you on
(21:35):
the spot, what is your favorite story based on a
child that you've helped with incarcerated parents? Share as much
as you can. Oh my goodness. One that might stick
out to you as a core memory. I think I
would have to talk about our first boy scholar. Okay.
(21:55):
I met him when he was twelve years old, and
at the time, his father was incarcerated. In a year
after him being enrolled in the program, his mom went
to prison as well. So now both of his parents
are incarcerated, and we had transparent conversations, you know, about
how just he didn't want to live and how life
(22:16):
was just so hopeless for him. Right fast forward, he
graduated high school, full time entrepreneur, he's in a four
year college university. He's never been to juvenile he didn't
perpetuate the cycle of incarceration. Both of his parents are home.
He's a mentor now at Pere Heart and it just right, Yeah,
(22:40):
going to be emotional, but it's why I do the
work that I did. He's nineteen oh my gosh, he's
nineteen years old. So it's so many stories that I can,
you know, talk about, but his is just so powerful
because I remember meeting him and he was so guarded,
(23:01):
and you know, he was had this sense of I'm
not going to say embarrassment, but he was afraid to
really tell his story. And now he tells it, you know,
with so much confidence because he understands it. Just because
he was a child of incarcerated parent does not mean
he has to be a parent that'll be incarcerated. Doesn't
(23:22):
mean that he has to you know, be entangled in
that criminal justice system. So although he was a statistic,
he did not become one. I love that. That's all
I got for you. Is there anything else you would
like to add? I just want to say thank you,
thank you for making time for us. It's a big
week for us, and I know you're always busy with
(23:44):
what's on your place, so we really appreciate it. Thank you.
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