August 14, 2025 • 39 mins
This week on The She Said It First Podcast, Jerrilyn Lake aka Indeskribeabull and Lynee’ Monae have a special guest this week. Podcast host Kiara “Kiki Said So” Walker joins She Said It First to talk about her new podcast, The xo Man Podcast. Kiara Walker has been the host, along with Medina Monroe, of The CockTales Podcast: Dirty Conversations. Now, Kiara is talking to black men and having in depth conversations that they normally do not have with women. In this interview, Kiara spoke about her experiences with men as well as Jerrilyn and Lynee’.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@u1pn
Follow:
@urban1podcast
@indeskribeabull
@lynee_monae
Guest:
Kiara Walker
@kikisaidso
Executive Producer:
Jahi Whitehead/ @Jahi_TRG
Video/Social Media Producer:
Walter Gainer II
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, because the way is the name five No guys.
Then when I.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Looked at my phone and see that it could have
very well been me, but I had child niggas not disturb.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
All right, what's up, everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It's your girl in describabley aka jerallyen Lake checking it.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We just se we just said, you just talked about it.
I put it on do not disturbing, and you know what,
you know what?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Oh my god, we just said and we recorded the
point where we see you guys.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Just everyone calmed your tits. Just wait a.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Wait the way that phone could wait on god wait
until we started to moment.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Died said, I'm okay, it might be my phone.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Niggas, I just don't want to hear eviboration. What's up, everybody?
Issue your girl indescribable aka jearln Late checking it with
my best beie for the rest of the monette. And
you are listening to she said it.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
First, you don't like my new intro. You can't just
make up a new intro today. What I just feel
like I always wanted to do that. Okay, yeah, I'm excited. Well,
oh my.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
God, so because today since we've already kicked it, off
the best way possible.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
We've got a.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Special guest in the studio today. Yo, Now, Kiera Kiki said,
so is what they call it. Karen Walker is joining us.
Although she said the first podcast today, thank you so
much collapse and applauses. Now girl, I was trying to
run through your ress. I got tired. I said, I'm gonna.
I'm gonna let her introduce her because baby girl is working.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
But we want to know.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I know you have the x amn podcast and you
also have Cocktails. Now for those at home, we're gonna
write it on a screen because they don't spell. How
you think right that far? I don't want you to
end up somewhere I'm looking for the wrong thing. But
I want you to introduce yourself to our followers, our audience,
and let us know who you are exactly and what.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It is that okay, Well, I am Kiera Walker, also
known as Kiki, said, So, I have been working in
media for decades now. I started in college at the
radio at Howard and then I work for different websites,
different media outlets, different radio stations, and along the way,
I fell in love with podcasting as a listener first,
(02:38):
so I started Cocktails almost ten years ago, and it's
Cocktails Jury Discussions, and that one is a comedy podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
That I host with a friend from high school.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
And so we have known each other for so long
and we were able to live some of the experiences
that we talked about at first together and then you know,
as life goes on, we're still telling new things and
kind of evolves. But we drink and we get together.
Sometimes we get drunk and sometimes and sometimes we drink responsibly.
(03:09):
I am usually the one you'll know that was a
little heavy handed with those fours. We don't have a bartender.
It's me or her, so you know, winging it anyway.
We tell stories and not to be confused with more
serious relationship and dating podcasts, we don't know what we're
doing at all, and we are just winging it and
trying to figure it out. Every now and again, we
get in our healing modes and we want to talk
(03:30):
to experts and figure out like a healthy way to
do it, and the next thing, you know, I'm crashing out.
And so it's like we have a job, you need
to do steps. And then the other show that I've
recently launched is called Exoman Podcast, and that one was
not an idea of my own. I got hired to
(03:51):
host it and produce it, and that's in conjunction with
will Packer Productions and Exonicole dot Com and so on.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
That show it is a total different vibe.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I actually asked them, probably for the first ninety days
of us working.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Together, are y'all sure about this?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Because I have kind of given men a hard time.
Oh no, you sound like somebody I don't, and I
don't feel apologetic in anyway.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah. I just didn't want to get tired.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, I mean, you guys have so much in common already.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Why it's like they feel like it's a hard time.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I feel like I'm just calling a spade of spade,
asking for a syminge of accountability. But anyway, on the
news show, I exclusively talk to black men. I host
it alone. I always have a guest, and I talk
to the black man, and I put the jokes aside.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I say that for cocktails, and we still joke lightly.
But I really do.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Try to understand where they're coming from and how they
feel without them feeling like they're being attacked. I don't
want them to be telling me the performative things that
they do that makes them feel like a man, or
what they think men should do, Like what do you
actually think If you think, like many of them, that
certain things are outdated and you don't want to do it,
you can say that, but like tell me why, and
(05:05):
don't regurgitate.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Things that you see online.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
While we are exploring different ideas about like gender, femininity
and masculinity and what that all means to everyone as
an individual.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
It's not a gender war scene. It's not about arguing
about it.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
It's like, okay, for real, let's see where the disconnected is.
How did you get to this point so that anybody listening,
whether you're listening because you're dating somebody and you can't
connect your friends, your sons.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Your father, like whatever that is.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I think women and men can get something from it,
and I hope so. So right now we are eight
episodes in and I started working on this last year
and it was a lot different because there was so
much work leading up to it. But I'm glad and
so now it's out every week new episodes. We've had
some really good guests, and I have been surprised by
(05:55):
some of the things that the guys said when they
weren't being performative, and I was like, look at God,
because maybe I needed to hear this.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Maybe I needed to hear some more things.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Just for my own life, because if I rely on
the internet social media stuff, it's just like lock them
up and throw them in a dungeon. That part, you
know that part, and you know what I'm thinking, Like
when she said that, it's like, what are some of it?
Because me and Jerline also talked heavy about men accountability
and like, you know where we stand, but you're said
(06:24):
that when they weren't being performative, you weren't shocked, Like
could you give us like maybe one or two things
that you heard that Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Yeah, let's see.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
One of my first guests something that he said was
his name is daval Ellis.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
He's an actor.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
He also podcasts. He was talking about some of the
things that he has noticed with kids that he mentors,
boys that he mentors, and he was like, you know what,
a lot of times they're doing this stuff, They're saying
crazy things online, they're doing all of this, and I've
always felt like it's very much attention seeking behavior, alcohol
them in cells and everything else. And he was like
I'm not saying that's not true, but what I am
(06:59):
saying is a lot of times they just want to
feel seen the only time somebody sees them. Sometimes they're
scared of them or they want nothing to do with them.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
So yeah, they might not be handling it in the
right way.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
But when's the last time somebody did something crazy and
you tried to like correct them.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Well, I ain't.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Nobody's mama, so I haven't tried to correct them. But
it made me think, like how much people do stuff
because they really don't feel seen and they they do
want attention, And it's like, I can I can sympathize
empathize always get those mixed up with people when it's like, oh,
well she didn't have a dad, Okay.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Well is that her fault or left her.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
The problems.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
There?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Yeah, but it's like, Okay, I can understand how a
woman could be or like if she didn't get that guidance,
it's I'm always like, that's not her fault, that's somebody
else's fault. Now, as an adult, you do have to
figure out how to work through those things. And then
I just had to check myself, why don't I give
anybody else well, not anybody else men that same energy,
and I should sometime. So h it's the work in progress,
(08:02):
but like that's something. And then also just admitting without
an excuse that they were wrong, that they hurt somebody.
They knew what they were doing would hurt them, but
they underestimated how good everything else was. So many of them,
whether they're currently married or have already been divorced because
the wife wasn't playing that, has talked about like working
so hard, right, and you want to provide. They all
(08:25):
have maintained that they really do want to be able
to provide for us, but some of them forgot, Like
everybody that you're dealing with in your family unit, whether it's.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Kids or your wife, whatever, they're people, they.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Want something more than the money. What good is the
money if you're never there, you could dive back, especially
if you've gotten to a point where you're wealthy and
you have all of these extras. Y'all don't need ten cars, Okay,
who even wants to drive anyway? And if you're working
to keep up with this stuff dollar back, you don't
need all of that. Or maybe check with her and
(08:56):
see if there's something she wants to do. That you
could help her with just some of that. And some
of them have learned that lesson some of them, I
could tell that they still needed to learn it because
they still felt like.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Well, as long as I'm doing this, she should shut up.
And I'm like, well, good luck.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
But it was nice to hear that some of them
lived through it and they were like, yeah, I gotta
find more balance because it's not just that, and there
are women who do care about them.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, I think that's such a nice That's my word
of the year has been balanced.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I'm terrible.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I literally had this conversation with my one of my
best friends last night and I said, friend, do you
think I'm too hard on men? And he said, this
particular guy, yes, but I think that you want what
you want and you're entitled to it. And I wanted
to make a video about this, but I'm not gonna
do it. I'm going to use this platform and to
stay because it's going to be significantly less because they
(09:52):
attacked me every time I have an opinion, and I
think to your point, you said, well, somebody does things
maybe if their father went at home first of all,
daddy issue or not the girl's problem?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
That daddy was the issue.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
And so when I coming from a place where I
come from, I didn't have to settle for that. Even
as a kid, even as a child, my dad was there,
he provided, he was supportive. I got disciplined, structure, criticism, judgment. Sometimes,
I got love and care like I got all the
things that I felt like I needed to be around,
well around the individual.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
And I still need therapy.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So let's let's be clear, Like I felt like I
had the best dad in the world, and I still
needed therapy. So it's hard for me to go into
a relationship at thirty six and and y'all want to
argue about some of the things I want to argue about.
I ain't never seen my daddy have a back and
forth about that. Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, it's always back now.
It's like some men say, well, I ain't your daddy.
I've been extra to be, but you could try to
(10:43):
do a little something.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
You are my daddy.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
But one one man denominated a comedy nominations compared to
their mama. All the time, every time we wake ain't
wake up like that. You wake up like that.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Glance make it like that I'm not doing that. That
came from a ragou yard.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
That far you know what I'm saying, But we can't.
We can't compare, but they will compare. That reminds me.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
We just but I don't know if you've seen an
episode where this guy was critiquing his girlfriend wife or
something about her and really compare every single thing she
did to like what his mother.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Did, and was like he wasn't. He probably was dead
serious about to say.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
A lot of the thing is like I don't think
men realize that what they want is a slave.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Like I don't think they realized when you.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Ask them what they value in partnership, it sounds they say,
be my piece, that be number one.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
I want you to be my pace. I don't want
to argue with you.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I want you to cook, I want you to clean,
I want you to give me some babies that it
sounds like forced labor to me. I don't and I
don't know if they recognize. They never say anything about
her actual qualities, like yeah, it's not like nothing like
it's always because I don't.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know what her hobbies are? Yeah, I want her
to listen.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Forget that, which is so hard. Last, I don't I
love natural hair we just had. I love natural hair.
I want her to have natural hair. Baby, you don't
like natural hair.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, don't have hair. You don't have any hair.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So I think that's where my frustration comes with the
whole gender wars. It's like, I'm not interested in doing
anything for anybody that can't reciprocate, but they'll come so
many times. It is it's like, bro, this is not
even what we need to be worgued about.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I'm not to wash her ass.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
There are so many women who want to do a
lot of the traditional things. And something that always sticks
out to me is you still want her to work
while she has this full time job as like the homemaker,
but then she should also have a full.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Time job doing god knows what. And you have the
one job. But when you get home, you get your
maybe you mow the yard, maybe somebody comes in.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Maybe if your kids are old enough, that's their responsibility,
and you get to kick back and relax.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
But if we're both working and we're both doing these things,
when do I get a rap off? You know? Or
even if she doesn't work out all.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Of the home, the fact that that is not the
home stuff isn't looked at as like real work. I
don't have children, but I have baby. Been a babysitter
for my brothers and sisters. Yeah, my family liked Yeah,
and those were kids that I could return and it
wouldn't be frowned upon. And I couldn't wait to get senda.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Now and it's never even been a full week.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
So like.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You have three hours, you have three hours, because I
think within three hours, I'm obligated to feed them.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I'm gonna feed that child one time.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Not even different than a dog. You know, I can
feed her.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Exactly if your child, I'm gonna feed it one time.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
After that one, we're not doing a whole lunch and
dinner situations. I think activities. I think it's the amount
of entertainment. I don't want to be, like, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
That's the feeding I like to eat. I don't mind.
Let's do a food review we're gonna I don't mind that.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Excessive amount of energy me having to enter like what
do we do?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Now?
Speaker 4 (14:20):
What do we do? What do we do?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
That stresses me? Now?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
On top of that, I'll bring him in the kitchen
with me too. I even bought one of those Montssori
school chef kid things for the little kids, signing nobody
going back with half a.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Finger right when?
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I so we all don't get in the kitchen. It's
the melt down, the anxiety, the other shell. Well, we
all got anxiety.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
What you want to do? Sit the scream? I'm hungry.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Kids are mad because you won't let him climb into
the oven right right. I'm like, I don't like the
kitchen up and you're not allowing it. You're a bad person.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
McDonald's. I just slaved over this meal. We eating this,
or you cried about it, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I got noise canceling, have phone, or if you're helping
them through something and they're a little bit of an
older kid, and then you realize, oh my god, these
aren't the kids that when Houston was singing about.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
These are those other kids. This cannot be the future.
You can't read, can't count. Well, yeah, you go too
old for So.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I phoned my sister because she got a bunch of kids,
and I'm like, well is this normal?
Speaker 4 (15:21):
And I'm just like, oh god, I just don't know
what you do. I just feel tired. And that's as
a babysitter, as.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
A yeah, what does that be Sometimes I wish that,
you know, men would be a little bit more open
for the home.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Stuff, like step in and help. These are your kids too.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
They don't think that, they say.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Crazy, But I made my money. I kept the lights on.
Everybody here is eating. That's it. That's as far as
my job go.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
That's what a lot of them take.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
And I'm like, it's we have to evolve with these times.
We are no longer living in a society where men
can just get up and go. Not the average Yeah, okay.
There was a time where the average man could go
work one job, yeah, bring home enough money.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And everybody, everybody in the house, and all the.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Women had to do was focus on cooking and cleaning
and having a little six, making sure the key is
running the street.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like that no more. Yeah,
it's way different.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It's now they are asking for master's degrees for jobs
that pay twelve dollars.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Oh shop, I'm so glad my job don't requiet it.
I don't have a job exactly. Yeah, my entrepreneur doesn't.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
It does, okay, And I'm very thankful that I'm able
to just get up and do you know what I mean,
but there are people who are not able to just
live out their dreams and do what they want to do,
and they do have to get these minimum wage jobs
and things like that, but still be taken for granted
or like you don't do it enough for People want
to compare salary. So depending on how much money you wake,
then it depends on how much rest you're gonna get
by the time you get home.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
We know that minimum wage jobs are way more labor.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
We know that people who are working at McDonald's, Wendy's wherever,
it's way more work. But people want to say, oh, well,
your little job ain't really contributing. So when you get home,
you still need to cook, you still need to put
the kids in the bath, you still need to do
all of the things. Because I'm making the most amount
of money, But she has probably worked out like I
can only imagine her being extremely exhausted by the time
(17:18):
she gets home.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
And if you make so much money, can we hire
somebody to come home?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
How long?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Because I am all about I am, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Realize how inextensive it was compared to the numbers.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
That I had in my head.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
And I was just wondering like, I wonder if my
parents ever took the time to look and see how
much it costs.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Probably not.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
It's way.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Got to work.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
You think about those things as like.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Luxury, you think only people who are rich or wealthy
can afford, or so you don't even look into things
you think you can't afford. But I don't even need
twenty four hour service. You can get somebody once a
week one hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
We can all do it, and sometimes it's it does
take time. And I wish that more people consider looking
into those things And maybe we were taught to think
of as luxuries, because peace of mind is not a luxury,
you know, even though that is still something that we
look at as a luxury, it's not. And like, how
do you show up for your kids, or your spouse,
or your career whatever as your best self if you
(18:19):
stressed out all the time, and then you can't be
somebody's peace who doesn't know what would make them feel peace.
So I think that the men also have to take
time to figure out what it is that they want.
They always let us know that they're not mind readers.
We know that y'all are readers because well, y'all y'all
don't rest on Instacart when I.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Ask for certain girl girl.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Every time I see I got a man get so pissed.
I start the case before you think that it ain't there.
Look on, everybody hat her the phone.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
Let's just do this together.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
So stressful is But I say all that to say,
you know, everybody's got to figure out what it is
that that they.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Want so that you can identify.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Now, if the person who you're giving this information to
chooses not to do it, then you got a real problem.
And now you've got to escalate to step two or three,
which maybe you need to leave or back.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
My step one is leave that nobody else. This is
my problem.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I'm divorced and myself one I'm not. This was like
a this is something that I had to evolve through.
I had to learn this about myself. I wanted to
stay in my marriage because my parents have been married
before the like, I can't get divorced.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
We're a Christian in it.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And when I realized I didn't give them people time,
I remember thinking, all these people have an opinion about this,
and I'm the only one who has to sit in this.
I am unhappy. God will be okay with this, God
want me right now startage drinking water and out of
my business and left that man alone, because you, like
(19:59):
you have to go through stages. It's not just I'm
gonna wake up and just leave like you battle with
whether or not you know I've been with you for
five years, six years, Like, I don't want to not
be with you no more. Have to start my life
over being girl I want Now. I'm in a phase
where I'm gonna start over every twenty minutes if I
need girl and that and that right there, if we life,
(20:20):
I don't want to leave every other day.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
After you got this lit a place where.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
I'm like, do I really want to keep having this
conversation for the rest of my life?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
So you feel like you said once and that should
be enough.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Not once and it should be enough.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
But if I've said it three times and that's not enough,
I'm confused because at this point we're talking to old people.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
We're all adults here. I could I have patience? I have.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I don't think anybody here has ever seen me interact
with a child. I'm totally different with children than I
am with adults. Now, I don't want to have any
but it's because I know that the amount of time
that I can spend coddling and wrangling and corralling is limited.
So you got three hours with whoever kid it is,
but for sixty like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
And it's not that I'd be rushing to leave, but
I'm just like, what what are we really doing? If
this is not something that we both understand at our ages?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Yeah, sometimes it makes me wonder. And I started asking
how many people were in your class?
Speaker 4 (21:21):
It was your lunch? And did you get to play games?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I've just seen a clip of this to everybody ate
lunch in the class together?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, what did y'all have for lunch? If y'all wasn't
even say that it was So there was a clip.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
That I just seen.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I wish I could find it. If I can, we'll
put it in. If not, I'm just gonna tell y'all anyway.
So he was basically on the podcast saying how he
was put into this classroom and it was just like
a little bit of people because these people like had.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Pretty much they were scholars, like they excelled, and.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You know, like the girl people was in the comments like,
who're gonna tell him? To tell him because his mama
told him that he was in that class with just
those little bit of people because he was a scholar.
He stood out, so he didn't need to be amongst
a larger group of kids. And so he really got
(22:17):
on this podcast and was telling everybody, and ther was like,
and that's.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Not that's not what that was. We did have, we
had on the helmet in that class.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I'm saying we had that we had to get the classes.
But it was never like there was a clear difference
between these kids are not being challenged and these kids
can barely sit down and focus, you know. So I
don't think it was ever like there was clear delineations
between those groups.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
But if you were in a class.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You could tell how he was talking that this was
not a scholar program.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Yeah, that was an elementary thing. They would pull us out,
but you go back to your class.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
They called it tags, they caught it talented.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
And so we had tags and I was like, okay,
well from eleven to one, I'm gonna go to tags
and then I'm gonna go back to the fool. And
that's why these moms lie today special. At some point,
he's special, something special and that's why he puts you
in that class with the special key.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
So what does he do now he's just talking about
about special is. Well, that's a good something to do
on yours. You should you should interview him maybe?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Who was like the craziest person that you've interviewed, Like
it was just wild, but like the most interesting or
the most engaging, maybe the.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Most interesting, most interesting, most engaging. I would say La
Terras Whitfield a podcast. He was interesting, interesting, engaging, and
it's always interesting to me anyone who chooses to go
down the Christian podcast path when the mic is on
(24:03):
and off, that is always the most interesting to me,
because a lot.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Of time it's very different, you know. And then who else?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Sky Black he's an actor as well, and he's married
to kJ Smith. It's on Sisters, He's on all the
Queens Men. He was crying and I was not expecting that.
Everything about him in the interview I enjoyed, but everything
threw me for a loop because he was not at
all what I thought he might be. I hadn't seen
(24:33):
any interviews, and when I was doing my research, the
only interviews I saw were just like write up, and
I didn't really know much about his personality.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
I'm looking at his glamorous.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Photo shoots and wedding pictures when he had that train
with the Hills, and we talked about it because I
was wondering, I was saying, and he all cares, and
he talked about the brooch everything, and so it was
interesting to hear.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
That there were backstories to a lot of those things.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
And then it was also interesting to see him in
person because Instagram is very polished and pretty, and then
in real life he looks a lot more normal. He's
not he looks very made up, like he's always on
a set, And in real life he looked normal, still
an attractive.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Guy, but way less pretty.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
That one. And then Wild thought, I would say, this
episode hasn't come out just yet. Jay Hill he.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
That, yes, imagine imagine having to deal with your childhood
trauma in the spotlight. So I'm glad that you know
a lot of people are able to I'm listen, we
grew up with we we are we're different, Millennial Billa Millennials.
Millennials are a very interesting generation because we had to
play outside, but we also got AOL and I am
(25:49):
you know, messengers and things like that, so we are
really seeing a a small portion of society or or timetable,
like the cram packed with all these technological and stuff
is happening way faster than we can process. And so
like these kids today are doing the same thing that
that guy was doing, are doing the same thing that
(26:10):
we're all trying to do, which is figure life out.
But on at the big age in the world, at
this big age on camera is not it and he.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Energy in general in general.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
People in general, I think we are we are at
an age where you have to prioritize mental health, yeah,
and emotional stability.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Especially for men.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
And not saying because I feel like, you know what,
I hate to even do this as a gender thing overall,
but I do see where women are kind of taking
the lead as far as mental health, really seeking help,
really having those conversations. And one thing about women is
that we therapy each other now rented, none of us
are licensed, but.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
We do have horport doesn't matter. I'm there gonna call
you up like girl, believe you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So we do have opportunity to talk about our problems,
how we feeling.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Literally on the plane with Gerlynn, I can't wait to
get there.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I have so much to tell you, I said, I
can't wait to tell you all the things I've been
holding in because it's like you can't. I can't share
everything with boyfriend or mom or homeboy, Like they don't
get it. Like there's a different type of sisterhood and
connection that women have faster between each other. Additionally, yeah,
because we need those spaces. We know that this world
(27:26):
is not a safe space for us. So we've made
that space with each other. And I'm waiting for men
to do the same.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's what I'm waiting for too.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
And I asked them about that on XO Man, and
I find that a lot of them, it seems like
the friend in the group who is like the most
understanding maybe looked at as like the leader of the
group in a sense that person is open. But when
I'm talking to other people who maybe don't take that
role within their friend group, they still feel a little
bit timid, or they feel like they know that their
(27:53):
friends are going through stuff too. Ur they just accept
that this is how life is, and it's like it
doesn't have to be this way, and you should be
able to speak to somebody without feeling like you're less
than a man without feeling weak. I can only imagine
if I was being totally honest with myself, if I
had the same pressure that I would put on men
that I do put on men to like, figure out
(28:14):
your life, get a career, make some money, do these things.
Stop always asking everybody else for help. I would go
crazy earth than I already am.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
You know.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
It is a lot of pressure, and we don't give
them as much room. We can talk about wanting to
get married one day and have children, and it's kind
of like, well, of course I would stay home with
the kids. It makes more sense if I want to
have three or four kids to stay home with them
instead of playing ten thousand dollars a month in childcare.
But when men do those things, I do give them
(28:44):
a side eyes. Sometimes I'm trying not to. But I'm
a work in progress, you know. But it's like they
don't have the same room to say this isn't what
I want.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
That they do is criticized. They can't even eat hot dogs,
they can't not.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Atlanta, they can't smoke the hooka.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Girl can't decide, they can't go to yoga, I can't.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Go to I mean, they can't show up for their kids.
They can't matching clothes with their baby. You can't have
match you can't think, you can't.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
You can't have matching.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Are y'all together?
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Okay? Just wait, way they can't.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Taking pictures together? If y'all not, what what the hell
is going on?
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Girls together? That's fine.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
That's the thing to though these I think once, and
I don't want it to I'm not saying this as
a blanket statement that men are to blame.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I joke a lot and I say, oh, men are
the problems.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Yeah, and you are.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
But I really do want us.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
I want so many men to show up in a
leadership way, but in an empathetic way and an understanding way.
Leadership does not mean control and mandating things. Leadership means listening,
making quality decisions that are in the best interest of
all parties. But they sometimes it's just my way or
(30:17):
the highway because I pay the bills. And that's not leadership.
That's a dictatorship exactly. And we're seeing that with the
Orange man in the White House, and so.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I don't want to be.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
That they should do that.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
It's like, also, let's be real with each other, whoever.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
You're in a relationship with. What are you actually good at?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:34):
The both of you?
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:35):
And let's figure out how.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
We're gonna divvy up these responsibilities instead of trying to
base it off of society standards, your wiles standards, the
internet standards, whatever. What are you actually good at? What
do you enjoy doing? And how can we break this up?
And I think that more people have to take an
individual approach. I don't know why everybody thinks everybody should
do the same thing. Take an individual approach. Because it's
(30:56):
you and this other person in this relationship, y'all figure
it out.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
It's not for everyone else.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
But if you don't know what you like, you don't
know what you want to do, you don't even know
what you're good at, you don't know what makes you happy,
you probably should have slowed down before you rush.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Into a relationship to kind of figure yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Because it's hard, hard, hard to show up for somebody
who doesn't even know what would be good for them.
They just trying to figure it out. Why I got
to be riding around on this confusion train.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I don't know, because let me at the bus that.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Please, And then if i'm free, I'm available, and I'm interested,
come back and if it works. Now, if I'm free
and if I'm available, I'm not interested, So just keep going.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Yeah, was out there, I spent time.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
And it was one of the worst seasons, and excisely,
and that's why you just because I was only here
for a reason, not a season.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I'm good on that.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
You find somebody else to dump that on and be
a good person to them.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I've been trying, but.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
You know, it's just I'm one of those people like
I stay until I can't stay no more.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
And then once I'm like, i'm a I'm a oh okay,
it's the end of this. Yeah, that's then you can't
get me on the phone. You can't.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
So it's like, why you just dispirit on me. Hey,
the next time you contact me, I'm calling police. And
I was walking up with my day and I don't
know what's a little confusing, but you're going to jail
your hands back.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
I am so sorry your subscription to KRE had Okay
that right there.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I think this is such a beautiful conversation. I want
to continue with I know before real quick, before j'all.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
He I know you gotta go. Do we have a
un license professional? So this is a.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Seconment where he reads something anonymous and then like we give.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Our first of all, let I know, just reach my life.
I was.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
All right, So it's a little unlike the professional. All right,
so y'all help me out.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I'm in a I'm in a buying.
Speaker 5 (33:08):
Some of my Uh some of my homegirls just told
me last week. Uh, she almost broke up with her
man because he was pocket watching her and she doesn't
like that, but he was. But he just texts me,
please prevent her from buying the purse she wants. I'm
surprising her with it for her birthday. So now I
gotta be the one to pocket watch her for a
(33:29):
month to prevent her from buying it.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Help.
Speaker 5 (33:32):
How do I discourage her from buying the purse without
saying maybe you should save or something like.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
That going on?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
You need you need to tell me just saying I'm
feel bad because at this point you're doing too much.
You stop it from happening. You're gonna hit it just
you know, I hate.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
A fl.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I was gonna take get it what you do me.
I've just been on a person now.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
And it hasn't bought the purse yet, and she buys it.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Friend tell him she done bought it already, said, now
you need to pick another someone some money.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I always loved money.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
I just to tell her, yes, just tell her if
it's for her birthday or special occasion.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I got this.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I was just so excited to get it for you,
and I was scared you was gonna get it yourself,
So hurry out and get it to you.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
And I'm giving it to you early. It's okay.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Doesn't want an early birthday, get all year especialday. Yeah,
especially when she realizes, oh, you weren't really pocket watching
to like count my money. You just wanted to make
sure that I didn't spend it on that and.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Easy easy making it complicated. That's a way to do stuff.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
It is, and they just make things super common because
you know, you know dudes, he probably was like, what
you what you're doing on the internet?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
How you micro managing my money?
Speaker 2 (34:50):
I call it passive aggressive and hands me into a
tail span every time I cannot stand tell me what
you're trying to tell you before I flip this table over.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Especially if you're trying to buy me something, because yes,
I will go and buy it.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah, because I can do that. When is your birthday?
Speaker 4 (35:06):
September thirteenth.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I was like, you was a little close to.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
Well, you know, I get.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
It, what that bargament, but you're romantic. And also I
don't want to body watching my money that close. That's
gonna stress.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
Me out like that person. It's a nice gift, it is,
and if you're gonna get it, just get it.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
And now you got me watching her. I'm not I
don't work, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
You want my own pockets and figure out where the
hell all this money it's gone?
Speaker 1 (35:37):
And I look at it and out it's just disappointing.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Who hate this.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Filled them?
Speaker 2 (35:46):
But girl, I was on the securitycount. They had me
right there in the third booth. Look going on the
third out.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
No, I think so.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I think it's so funny that we have we we
have these kinds of conversations because I literally say the
other day, some men really don't mean no harm.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
But there's a way to do and say everything. And
I think once.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
People become a little more intentional about how they are
talking to people, how they're treating people, how they're showing up,
like we won't have a lot of arguments because the
expectations will be clear. Well, we'll both know what's expected,
what we need and what we can provide. And so
I think I'm gonna have to tune into Well, I'm
gonna I'm gonna watch X Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Where you're getting a whole lotation going on.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
I'll have to get y'all to come on cocktails too,
because X Man is just men.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah. Now, side note, we we she's here till Friday.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I know That's why I'm like, oh yeah, because when
I leave here, we'll be scheduling.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
We're gonna have to record this week.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Okay, yes, girls, get well, thank you so much for
hanging out with so much.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
We're we have done.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
None of this stuff was we didn't stay on. Enjoy
the conversation, Guys, enjoy the conversation. Before we leave, me
and Jolyn are heavy on. Going to go talk to
the lady. Yes, here's a question that I do want
to ask you, which is how are you today? Honestly,
because a lot of us just be like, we're good,
We're fine everything.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
We just want to do a quick check in and
then we'll close out.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Okay today I'm okay, just okay, Friday was a horrible day,
and I am so glad that I had this because
I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna rest
this weekend. I'm gonna play the Sims. I'm gonna eat
some chicken wings and some cake.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
And Perry time.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Tuesday rolls around and I have to do this interviews.
Hopefully my move will be better and it's something to
look forward to. This is something that I wanted to
and like, think about what's what is happening right and
stop focusing on everything that is going.
Speaker 4 (37:58):
Crazy and uh.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Then and I also talk to my sister and she's
not the lady, but she serves as my lady a
lot of time, and she was like, you know what,
set that damn camera up, Kiera, and record it and
we're going to turn this into something funny. And that's
what we did. And she she's texting me like five times.
I gotta finish the voiceover so I can post it.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
But yeah, I'm doing all right.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
And I just I try to tell people to like
it's okay to just be okay, yeah, but don't stay
in that okay, figure out what's wrong and then figure
out a plan to fix it and I've done that.
One of those things that I do that I have
to cut back on is eating, and I forgot some
other things that I do. But I also wrote a
cookbook and it's called The Classy Bass. It's k L
A S S Y b A S t E so
(38:37):
classybase dot com. I have digital cookbooks, digital recipes and
a physical one. And then also with cocktails, we came
out with a conversation card game called I'm Curious to Know,
and that one is available.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
And I'm Curious Tono dot com.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
I'll be working all day every day, and a lot
of times I forget about things. So y'all definitely check
out the shows, but check out those other things too,
and hopefully in the coming months, I'll have some more
things to put out there.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Well, tell us with it, find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
On social media, I am Kikey, said so K I
K I S A I D S O and she
said everything she said so said first.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Okay, yes, well, thank you so much for coming. We
have enjoyed you, and y'all know this this Unfortunately it's
oh no, we come.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Susie the road. We'll be here Thursday. Okay, we won't
be on the road too long, okay, if we will be.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Back on Thursday where you can watch us on YouTube
if you want the visuals.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
If not, you can watch us or listen to us
wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Just make sure you like, comment and subscribe and hit
that notification bill so you know every time we upload
funny
Okay, because the way is the name five No guys.
Then when I.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Looked at my phone and see that it could have
very well been me, but I had child niggas not disturb.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
All right, what's up, everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
It's your girl in describabley aka jerallyen Lake checking it.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We just se we just said, you just talked about it.
I put it on do not disturbing, and you know what,
you know what?
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Oh my god, we just said and we recorded the
point where we see you guys.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Just everyone calmed your tits. Just wait a.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Wait the way that phone could wait on god wait
until we started to moment.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Died said, I'm okay, it might be my phone.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Niggas, I just don't want to hear eviboration. What's up, everybody?
Issue your girl indescribable aka jearln Late checking it with
my best beie for the rest of the monette. And
you are listening to she said it.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
First, you don't like my new intro. You can't just
make up a new intro today. What I just feel
like I always wanted to do that. Okay, yeah, I'm excited. Well,
oh my.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
God, so because today since we've already kicked it, off
the best way possible.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
We've got a.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Special guest in the studio today. Yo, Now, Kiera Kiki said,
so is what they call it. Karen Walker is joining us.
Although she said the first podcast today, thank you so
much collapse and applauses. Now girl, I was trying to
run through your ress. I got tired. I said, I'm gonna.
I'm gonna let her introduce her because baby girl is working.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
But we want to know.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I know you have the x amn podcast and you
also have Cocktails. Now for those at home, we're gonna
write it on a screen because they don't spell. How
you think right that far? I don't want you to
end up somewhere I'm looking for the wrong thing. But
I want you to introduce yourself to our followers, our audience,
and let us know who you are exactly and what.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
It is that okay, Well, I am Kiera Walker, also
known as Kiki, said, So, I have been working in
media for decades now. I started in college at the
radio at Howard and then I work for different websites,
different media outlets, different radio stations, and along the way,
I fell in love with podcasting as a listener first,
(02:38):
so I started Cocktails almost ten years ago, and it's
Cocktails Jury Discussions, and that one is a comedy podcast.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
That I host with a friend from high school.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
And so we have known each other for so long
and we were able to live some of the experiences
that we talked about at first together and then you know,
as life goes on, we're still telling new things and
kind of evolves. But we drink and we get together.
Sometimes we get drunk and sometimes and sometimes we drink responsibly.
(03:09):
I am usually the one you'll know that was a
little heavy handed with those fours. We don't have a bartender.
It's me or her, so you know, winging it anyway.
We tell stories and not to be confused with more
serious relationship and dating podcasts, we don't know what we're
doing at all, and we are just winging it and
trying to figure it out. Every now and again, we
get in our healing modes and we want to talk
(03:30):
to experts and figure out like a healthy way to
do it, and the next thing, you know, I'm crashing out.
And so it's like we have a job, you need
to do steps. And then the other show that I've
recently launched is called Exoman Podcast, and that one was
not an idea of my own. I got hired to
(03:51):
host it and produce it, and that's in conjunction with
will Packer Productions and Exonicole dot Com and so on.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
That show it is a total different vibe.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I actually asked them, probably for the first ninety days
of us working.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Together, are y'all sure about this?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Because I have kind of given men a hard time.
Oh no, you sound like somebody I don't, and I
don't feel apologetic in anyway.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Yeah. I just didn't want to get tired.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, I mean, you guys have so much in common already.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Why it's like they feel like it's a hard time.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I feel like I'm just calling a spade of spade,
asking for a syminge of accountability. But anyway, on the
news show, I exclusively talk to black men. I host
it alone. I always have a guest, and I talk
to the black man, and I put the jokes aside.
Speaker 4 (04:39):
I say that for cocktails, and we still joke lightly.
But I really do.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Try to understand where they're coming from and how they
feel without them feeling like they're being attacked. I don't
want them to be telling me the performative things that
they do that makes them feel like a man, or
what they think men should do, Like what do you
actually think If you think, like many of them, that
certain things are outdated and you don't want to do it,
you can say that, but like tell me why, and
(05:05):
don't regurgitate.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Things that you see online.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
While we are exploring different ideas about like gender, femininity
and masculinity and what that all means to everyone as
an individual.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
It's not a gender war scene. It's not about arguing
about it.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
It's like, okay, for real, let's see where the disconnected is.
How did you get to this point so that anybody listening,
whether you're listening because you're dating somebody and you can't
connect your friends, your sons.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Your father, like whatever that is.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I think women and men can get something from it,
and I hope so. So right now we are eight
episodes in and I started working on this last year
and it was a lot different because there was so
much work leading up to it. But I'm glad and
so now it's out every week new episodes. We've had
some really good guests, and I have been surprised by
(05:55):
some of the things that the guys said when they
weren't being performative, and I was like, look at God,
because maybe I needed to hear this.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Maybe I needed to hear some more things.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Just for my own life, because if I rely on
the internet social media stuff, it's just like lock them
up and throw them in a dungeon. That part, you
know that part, and you know what I'm thinking, Like
when she said that, it's like, what are some of it?
Because me and Jerline also talked heavy about men accountability
and like, you know where we stand, but you're said
(06:24):
that when they weren't being performative, you weren't shocked, Like
could you give us like maybe one or two things
that you heard that Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
Yeah, let's see.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
One of my first guests something that he said was
his name is daval Ellis.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
He's an actor.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
He also podcasts. He was talking about some of the
things that he has noticed with kids that he mentors,
boys that he mentors, and he was like, you know what,
a lot of times they're doing this stuff, They're saying
crazy things online, they're doing all of this, and I've
always felt like it's very much attention seeking behavior, alcohol
them in cells and everything else. And he was like
I'm not saying that's not true, but what I am
(06:59):
saying is a lot of times they just want to
feel seen the only time somebody sees them. Sometimes they're
scared of them or they want nothing to do with them.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
So yeah, they might not be handling it in the
right way.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
But when's the last time somebody did something crazy and
you tried to like correct them.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Well, I ain't.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Nobody's mama, so I haven't tried to correct them. But
it made me think, like how much people do stuff
because they really don't feel seen and they they do
want attention, And it's like, I can I can sympathize
empathize always get those mixed up with people when it's like, oh,
well she didn't have a dad, Okay.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
Well is that her fault or left her.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
The problems.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
There?
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Yeah, but it's like, Okay, I can understand how a
woman could be or like if she didn't get that guidance,
it's I'm always like, that's not her fault, that's somebody
else's fault. Now, as an adult, you do have to
figure out how to work through those things. And then
I just had to check myself, why don't I give
anybody else well, not anybody else men that same energy,
and I should sometime. So h it's the work in progress,
(08:02):
but like that's something. And then also just admitting without
an excuse that they were wrong, that they hurt somebody.
They knew what they were doing would hurt them, but
they underestimated how good everything else was. So many of them,
whether they're currently married or have already been divorced because
the wife wasn't playing that, has talked about like working
so hard, right, and you want to provide. They all
(08:25):
have maintained that they really do want to be able
to provide for us, but some of them forgot, Like
everybody that you're dealing with in your family unit, whether it's.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
Kids or your wife, whatever, they're people, they.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Want something more than the money. What good is the
money if you're never there, you could dive back, especially
if you've gotten to a point where you're wealthy and
you have all of these extras. Y'all don't need ten cars, Okay,
who even wants to drive anyway? And if you're working
to keep up with this stuff dollar back, you don't
need all of that. Or maybe check with her and
(08:56):
see if there's something she wants to do. That you
could help her with just some of that. And some
of them have learned that lesson some of them, I
could tell that they still needed to learn it because
they still felt like.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Well, as long as I'm doing this, she should shut up.
And I'm like, well, good luck.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
But it was nice to hear that some of them
lived through it and they were like, yeah, I gotta
find more balance because it's not just that, and there
are women who do care about them.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, I think that's such a nice That's my word
of the year has been balanced.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I'm terrible.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I literally had this conversation with my one of my
best friends last night and I said, friend, do you
think I'm too hard on men? And he said, this
particular guy, yes, but I think that you want what
you want and you're entitled to it. And I wanted
to make a video about this, but I'm not gonna
do it. I'm going to use this platform and to
stay because it's going to be significantly less because they
(09:52):
attacked me every time I have an opinion, and I
think to your point, you said, well, somebody does things
maybe if their father went at home first of all,
daddy issue or not the girl's problem?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
That daddy was the issue.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
And so when I coming from a place where I
come from, I didn't have to settle for that. Even
as a kid, even as a child, my dad was there,
he provided, he was supportive. I got disciplined, structure, criticism, judgment. Sometimes,
I got love and care like I got all the
things that I felt like I needed to be around,
well around the individual.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
And I still need therapy.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
So let's let's be clear, Like I felt like I
had the best dad in the world, and I still
needed therapy. So it's hard for me to go into
a relationship at thirty six and and y'all want to
argue about some of the things I want to argue about.
I ain't never seen my daddy have a back and
forth about that. Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, it's always back now.
It's like some men say, well, I ain't your daddy.
I've been extra to be, but you could try to
(10:43):
do a little something.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
You are my daddy.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
But one one man denominated a comedy nominations compared to
their mama. All the time, every time we wake ain't
wake up like that. You wake up like that.
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Glance make it like that I'm not doing that. That
came from a ragou yard.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
That far you know what I'm saying, But we can't.
We can't compare, but they will compare. That reminds me.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
We just but I don't know if you've seen an
episode where this guy was critiquing his girlfriend wife or
something about her and really compare every single thing she
did to like what his mother.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
Did, and was like he wasn't. He probably was dead
serious about to say.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
A lot of the thing is like I don't think
men realize that what they want is a slave.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Like I don't think they realized when you.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Ask them what they value in partnership, it sounds they say,
be my piece, that be number one.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
I want you to be my pace. I don't want
to argue with you.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I want you to cook, I want you to clean,
I want you to give me some babies that it
sounds like forced labor to me. I don't and I
don't know if they recognize. They never say anything about
her actual qualities, like yeah, it's not like nothing like
it's always because I don't.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know what her hobbies are? Yeah, I want her
to listen.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Forget that, which is so hard. Last, I don't I
love natural hair we just had. I love natural hair.
I want her to have natural hair. Baby, you don't
like natural hair.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, don't have hair. You don't have any hair.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
So I think that's where my frustration comes with the
whole gender wars. It's like, I'm not interested in doing
anything for anybody that can't reciprocate, but they'll come so
many times. It is it's like, bro, this is not
even what we need to be worgued about.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
I'm not to wash her ass.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
There are so many women who want to do a
lot of the traditional things. And something that always sticks
out to me is you still want her to work
while she has this full time job as like the homemaker,
but then she should also have a full.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Time job doing god knows what. And you have the
one job. But when you get home, you get your
maybe you mow the yard, maybe somebody comes in.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Maybe if your kids are old enough, that's their responsibility,
and you get to kick back and relax.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
But if we're both working and we're both doing these things,
when do I get a rap off? You know? Or
even if she doesn't work out all.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Of the home, the fact that that is not the
home stuff isn't looked at as like real work. I
don't have children, but I have baby. Been a babysitter
for my brothers and sisters. Yeah, my family liked Yeah,
and those were kids that I could return and it
wouldn't be frowned upon. And I couldn't wait to get senda.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Now and it's never even been a full week.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
So like.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
You have three hours, you have three hours, because I
think within three hours, I'm obligated to feed them.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I'm gonna feed that child one time.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Not even different than a dog. You know, I can
feed her.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Exactly if your child, I'm gonna feed it one time.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
After that one, we're not doing a whole lunch and
dinner situations. I think activities. I think it's the amount
of entertainment. I don't want to be, like, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
That's the feeding I like to eat. I don't mind.
Let's do a food review we're gonna I don't mind that.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Excessive amount of energy me having to enter like what
do we do?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Now?
Speaker 4 (14:20):
What do we do? What do we do?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
That stresses me? Now?
Speaker 3 (14:25):
On top of that, I'll bring him in the kitchen
with me too. I even bought one of those Montssori
school chef kid things for the little kids, signing nobody
going back with half a.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Finger right when?
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I so we all don't get in the kitchen. It's
the melt down, the anxiety, the other shell. Well, we
all got anxiety.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
What you want to do? Sit the scream? I'm hungry.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Kids are mad because you won't let him climb into
the oven right right. I'm like, I don't like the
kitchen up and you're not allowing it. You're a bad person.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
McDonald's. I just slaved over this meal. We eating this,
or you cried about it, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
I got noise canceling, have phone, or if you're helping
them through something and they're a little bit of an
older kid, and then you realize, oh my god, these
aren't the kids that when Houston was singing about.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
These are those other kids. This cannot be the future.
You can't read, can't count. Well, yeah, you go too
old for So.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I phoned my sister because she got a bunch of kids,
and I'm like, well is this normal?
Speaker 4 (15:21):
And I'm just like, oh god, I just don't know
what you do. I just feel tired. And that's as
a babysitter, as.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
A yeah, what does that be Sometimes I wish that,
you know, men would be a little bit more open
for the home.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
Stuff, like step in and help. These are your kids too.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
They don't think that, they say.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Crazy, But I made my money. I kept the lights on.
Everybody here is eating. That's it. That's as far as
my job go.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
That's what a lot of them take.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
And I'm like, it's we have to evolve with these times.
We are no longer living in a society where men
can just get up and go. Not the average Yeah, okay.
There was a time where the average man could go
work one job, yeah, bring home enough money.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And everybody, everybody in the house, and all the.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Women had to do was focus on cooking and cleaning
and having a little six, making sure the key is
running the street.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like that no more. Yeah,
it's way different.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
It's now they are asking for master's degrees for jobs
that pay twelve dollars.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Oh shop, I'm so glad my job don't requiet it.
I don't have a job exactly. Yeah, my entrepreneur doesn't.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
It does, okay, And I'm very thankful that I'm able
to just get up and do you know what I mean,
but there are people who are not able to just
live out their dreams and do what they want to do,
and they do have to get these minimum wage jobs
and things like that, but still be taken for granted
or like you don't do it enough for People want
to compare salary. So depending on how much money you wake,
then it depends on how much rest you're gonna get
by the time you get home.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
We know that minimum wage jobs are way more labor.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
We know that people who are working at McDonald's, Wendy's wherever,
it's way more work. But people want to say, oh, well,
your little job ain't really contributing. So when you get home,
you still need to cook, you still need to put
the kids in the bath, you still need to do
all of the things. Because I'm making the most amount
of money, But she has probably worked out like I
can only imagine her being extremely exhausted by the time
(17:18):
she gets home.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
And if you make so much money, can we hire
somebody to come home?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
How long?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Because I am all about I am, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Realize how inextensive it was compared to the numbers.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
That I had in my head.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
And I was just wondering like, I wonder if my
parents ever took the time to look and see how
much it costs.
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Probably not.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
It's way.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Got to work.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
You think about those things as like.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Luxury, you think only people who are rich or wealthy
can afford, or so you don't even look into things
you think you can't afford. But I don't even need
twenty four hour service. You can get somebody once a
week one hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
We can all do it, and sometimes it's it does
take time. And I wish that more people consider looking
into those things And maybe we were taught to think
of as luxuries, because peace of mind is not a luxury,
you know, even though that is still something that we
look at as a luxury, it's not. And like, how
do you show up for your kids, or your spouse,
or your career whatever as your best self if you
(18:19):
stressed out all the time, and then you can't be
somebody's peace who doesn't know what would make them feel peace.
So I think that the men also have to take
time to figure out what it is that they want.
They always let us know that they're not mind readers.
We know that y'all are readers because well, y'all y'all
don't rest on Instacart when I.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Ask for certain girl girl.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Every time I see I got a man get so pissed.
I start the case before you think that it ain't there.
Look on, everybody hat her the phone.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
Let's just do this together.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
So stressful is But I say all that to say,
you know, everybody's got to figure out what it is
that that they.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Want so that you can identify.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Now, if the person who you're giving this information to
chooses not to do it, then you got a real problem.
And now you've got to escalate to step two or three,
which maybe you need to leave or back.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
My step one is leave that nobody else. This is
my problem.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
I'm divorced and myself one I'm not. This was like
a this is something that I had to evolve through.
I had to learn this about myself. I wanted to
stay in my marriage because my parents have been married
before the like, I can't get divorced.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
We're a Christian in it.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And when I realized I didn't give them people time,
I remember thinking, all these people have an opinion about this,
and I'm the only one who has to sit in this.
I am unhappy. God will be okay with this, God
want me right now startage drinking water and out of
my business and left that man alone, because you, like
(19:59):
you have to go through stages. It's not just I'm
gonna wake up and just leave like you battle with
whether or not you know I've been with you for
five years, six years, Like, I don't want to not
be with you no more. Have to start my life
over being girl I want Now. I'm in a phase
where I'm gonna start over every twenty minutes if I
need girl and that and that right there, if we life,
(20:20):
I don't want to leave every other day.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
After you got this lit a place where.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
I'm like, do I really want to keep having this
conversation for the rest of my life?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
So you feel like you said once and that should
be enough.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Not once and it should be enough.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
But if I've said it three times and that's not enough,
I'm confused because at this point we're talking to old people.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
We're all adults here. I could I have patience? I have.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
I don't think anybody here has ever seen me interact
with a child. I'm totally different with children than I
am with adults. Now, I don't want to have any
but it's because I know that the amount of time
that I can spend coddling and wrangling and corralling is limited.
So you got three hours with whoever kid it is,
but for sixty like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
And it's not that I'd be rushing to leave, but
I'm just like, what what are we really doing? If
this is not something that we both understand at our ages?
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Yeah, sometimes it makes me wonder. And I started asking
how many people were in your class?
Speaker 4 (21:21):
It was your lunch? And did you get to play games?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I've just seen a clip of this to everybody ate
lunch in the class together?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, what did y'all have for lunch? If y'all wasn't
even say that it was So there was a clip.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
That I just seen.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
I wish I could find it. If I can, we'll
put it in. If not, I'm just gonna tell y'all anyway.
So he was basically on the podcast saying how he
was put into this classroom and it was just like
a little bit of people because these people like had.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Pretty much they were scholars, like they excelled, and.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You know, like the girl people was in the comments like,
who're gonna tell him? To tell him because his mama
told him that he was in that class with just
those little bit of people because he was a scholar.
He stood out, so he didn't need to be amongst
a larger group of kids. And so he really got
(22:17):
on this podcast and was telling everybody, and ther was like,
and that's.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Not that's not what that was. We did have, we
had on the helmet in that class.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
I'm saying we had that we had to get the classes.
But it was never like there was a clear difference
between these kids are not being challenged and these kids
can barely sit down and focus, you know. So I
don't think it was ever like there was clear delineations
between those groups.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
But if you were in a class.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
You could tell how he was talking that this was
not a scholar program.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Yeah, that was an elementary thing. They would pull us out,
but you go back to your class.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
They called it tags, they caught it talented.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
And so we had tags and I was like, okay,
well from eleven to one, I'm gonna go to tags
and then I'm gonna go back to the fool. And
that's why these moms lie today special. At some point,
he's special, something special and that's why he puts you
in that class with the special key.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
So what does he do now he's just talking about
about special is. Well, that's a good something to do
on yours. You should you should interview him maybe?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Who was like the craziest person that you've interviewed, Like
it was just wild, but like the most interesting or
the most engaging, maybe the.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
Most interesting, most interesting, most engaging. I would say La
Terras Whitfield a podcast. He was interesting, interesting, engaging, and
it's always interesting to me anyone who chooses to go
down the Christian podcast path when the mic is on
(24:03):
and off, that is always the most interesting to me,
because a lot.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
Of time it's very different, you know. And then who else?
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Sky Black he's an actor as well, and he's married
to kJ Smith. It's on Sisters, He's on all the
Queens Men. He was crying and I was not expecting that.
Everything about him in the interview I enjoyed, but everything
threw me for a loop because he was not at
all what I thought he might be. I hadn't seen
(24:33):
any interviews, and when I was doing my research, the
only interviews I saw were just like write up, and
I didn't really know much about his personality.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
I'm looking at his glamorous.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Photo shoots and wedding pictures when he had that train
with the Hills, and we talked about it because I
was wondering, I was saying, and he all cares, and
he talked about the brooch everything, and so it was
interesting to hear.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
That there were backstories to a lot of those things.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
And then it was also interesting to see him in
person because Instagram is very polished and pretty, and then
in real life he looks a lot more normal. He's
not he looks very made up, like he's always on
a set, And in real life he looked normal, still
an attractive.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Guy, but way less pretty.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
You know.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
That one. And then Wild thought, I would say, this
episode hasn't come out just yet. Jay Hill he.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
That, yes, imagine imagine having to deal with your childhood
trauma in the spotlight. So I'm glad that you know
a lot of people are able to I'm listen, we
grew up with we we are we're different, Millennial Billa Millennials.
Millennials are a very interesting generation because we had to
play outside, but we also got AOL and I am
(25:49):
you know, messengers and things like that, so we are
really seeing a a small portion of society or or timetable,
like the cram packed with all these technological and stuff
is happening way faster than we can process. And so
like these kids today are doing the same thing that
that guy was doing, are doing the same thing that
(26:10):
we're all trying to do, which is figure life out.
But on at the big age in the world, at
this big age on camera is not it and he.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Energy in general in general.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
People in general, I think we are we are at
an age where you have to prioritize mental health, yeah,
and emotional stability.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Especially for men.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
And not saying because I feel like, you know what,
I hate to even do this as a gender thing overall,
but I do see where women are kind of taking
the lead as far as mental health, really seeking help,
really having those conversations. And one thing about women is
that we therapy each other now rented, none of us
are licensed, but.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
We do have horport doesn't matter. I'm there gonna call
you up like girl, believe you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So we do have opportunity to talk about our problems,
how we feeling.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Literally on the plane with Gerlynn, I can't wait to
get there.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I have so much to tell you, I said, I
can't wait to tell you all the things I've been
holding in because it's like you can't. I can't share
everything with boyfriend or mom or homeboy, Like they don't
get it. Like there's a different type of sisterhood and
connection that women have faster between each other. Additionally, yeah,
because we need those spaces. We know that this world
(27:26):
is not a safe space for us. So we've made
that space with each other. And I'm waiting for men
to do the same.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
That's what I'm waiting for too.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
And I asked them about that on XO Man, and
I find that a lot of them, it seems like
the friend in the group who is like the most
understanding maybe looked at as like the leader of the
group in a sense that person is open. But when
I'm talking to other people who maybe don't take that
role within their friend group, they still feel a little
bit timid, or they feel like they know that their
(27:53):
friends are going through stuff too. Ur they just accept
that this is how life is, and it's like it
doesn't have to be this way, and you should be
able to speak to somebody without feeling like you're less
than a man without feeling weak. I can only imagine
if I was being totally honest with myself, if I
had the same pressure that I would put on men
that I do put on men to like, figure out
(28:14):
your life, get a career, make some money, do these things.
Stop always asking everybody else for help. I would go
crazy earth than I already am.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
You know.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
It is a lot of pressure, and we don't give
them as much room. We can talk about wanting to
get married one day and have children, and it's kind
of like, well, of course I would stay home with
the kids. It makes more sense if I want to
have three or four kids to stay home with them
instead of playing ten thousand dollars a month in childcare.
But when men do those things, I do give them
(28:44):
a side eyes. Sometimes I'm trying not to. But I'm
a work in progress, you know. But it's like they
don't have the same room to say this isn't what
I want.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
That they do is criticized. They can't even eat hot dogs,
they can't not.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
Atlanta, they can't smoke the hooka.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Girl can't decide, they can't go to yoga, I can't.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Go to I mean, they can't show up for their kids.
They can't matching clothes with their baby. You can't have
match you can't think, you can't.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
You can't do that.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
You can't have matching.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Are y'all together?
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Okay? Just wait, way they can't.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Taking pictures together? If y'all not, what what the hell
is going on?
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Girls together? That's fine.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
That's the thing to though these I think once, and
I don't want it to I'm not saying this as
a blanket statement that men are to blame.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I joke a lot and I say, oh, men are
the problems.
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Yeah, and you are.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
But I really do want us.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
I want so many men to show up in a
leadership way, but in an empathetic way and an understanding way.
Leadership does not mean control and mandating things. Leadership means listening,
making quality decisions that are in the best interest of
all parties. But they sometimes it's just my way or
(30:17):
the highway because I pay the bills. And that's not leadership.
That's a dictatorship exactly. And we're seeing that with the
Orange man in the White House, and so.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
I don't want to be.
Speaker 4 (30:25):
That they should do that.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
It's like, also, let's be real with each other, whoever.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
You're in a relationship with. What are you actually good at?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:34):
The both of you?
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Right?
Speaker 4 (30:35):
And let's figure out how.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
We're gonna divvy up these responsibilities instead of trying to
base it off of society standards, your wiles standards, the
internet standards, whatever. What are you actually good at? What
do you enjoy doing? And how can we break this up?
And I think that more people have to take an
individual approach. I don't know why everybody thinks everybody should
do the same thing. Take an individual approach. Because it's
(30:56):
you and this other person in this relationship, y'all figure
it out.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
It's not for everyone else.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
But if you don't know what you like, you don't
know what you want to do, you don't even know
what you're good at, you don't know what makes you happy,
you probably should have slowed down before you rush.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Into a relationship to kind of figure yourself.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Because it's hard, hard, hard to show up for somebody
who doesn't even know what would be good for them.
They just trying to figure it out. Why I got
to be riding around on this confusion train.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I don't know, because let me at the bus that.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Please, And then if i'm free, I'm available, and I'm interested,
come back and if it works. Now, if I'm free
and if I'm available, I'm not interested, So just keep going.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Yeah, was out there, I spent time.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
And it was one of the worst seasons, and excisely,
and that's why you just because I was only here
for a reason, not a season.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I'm good on that.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
You find somebody else to dump that on and be
a good person to them.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I've been trying, but.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
You know, it's just I'm one of those people like
I stay until I can't stay no more.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
And then once I'm like, i'm a I'm a oh okay,
it's the end of this. Yeah, that's then you can't
get me on the phone. You can't.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
So it's like, why you just dispirit on me. Hey,
the next time you contact me, I'm calling police. And
I was walking up with my day and I don't
know what's a little confusing, but you're going to jail
your hands back.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
I am so sorry your subscription to KRE had Okay
that right there.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
I think this is such a beautiful conversation. I want
to continue with I know before real quick, before j'all.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
He I know you gotta go. Do we have a
un license professional? So this is a.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Seconment where he reads something anonymous and then like we give.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
Our first of all, let I know, just reach my life.
I was.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
All right, So it's a little unlike the professional. All right,
so y'all help me out.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
I'm in a I'm in a buying.
Speaker 5 (33:08):
Some of my Uh some of my homegirls just told
me last week. Uh, she almost broke up with her
man because he was pocket watching her and she doesn't
like that, but he was. But he just texts me,
please prevent her from buying the purse she wants. I'm
surprising her with it for her birthday. So now I
gotta be the one to pocket watch her for a
(33:29):
month to prevent her from buying it.
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Help.
Speaker 5 (33:32):
How do I discourage her from buying the purse without
saying maybe you should save or something like.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
That going on?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
You need you need to tell me just saying I'm
feel bad because at this point you're doing too much.
You stop it from happening. You're gonna hit it just
you know, I hate.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
A fl.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I was gonna take get it what you do me.
I've just been on a person now.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
And it hasn't bought the purse yet, and she buys it.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Friend tell him she done bought it already, said, now
you need to pick another someone some money.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
I always loved money.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
I just to tell her, yes, just tell her if
it's for her birthday or special occasion.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
I got this.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I was just so excited to get it for you,
and I was scared you was gonna get it yourself,
So hurry out and get it to you.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
And I'm giving it to you early. It's okay.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
Doesn't want an early birthday, get all year especialday. Yeah,
especially when she realizes, oh, you weren't really pocket watching
to like count my money. You just wanted to make
sure that I didn't spend it on that and.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Easy easy making it complicated. That's a way to do stuff.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
It is, and they just make things super common because
you know, you know dudes, he probably was like, what
you what you're doing on the internet?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
How you micro managing my money?
Speaker 2 (34:50):
I call it passive aggressive and hands me into a
tail span every time I cannot stand tell me what
you're trying to tell you before I flip this table over.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Especially if you're trying to buy me something, because yes,
I will go and buy it.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Yeah, because I can do that. When is your birthday?
Speaker 4 (35:06):
September thirteenth.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I was like, you was a little close to.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
Well, you know, I get.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
It, what that bargament, but you're romantic. And also I
don't want to body watching my money that close. That's
gonna stress.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
Me out like that person. It's a nice gift, it is,
and if you're gonna get it, just get it.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
And now you got me watching her. I'm not I
don't work, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
You want my own pockets and figure out where the
hell all this money it's gone?
Speaker 1 (35:37):
And I look at it and out it's just disappointing.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
Who hate this.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Filled them?
Speaker 2 (35:46):
But girl, I was on the securitycount. They had me
right there in the third booth. Look going on the
third out.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
No, I think so.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I think it's so funny that we have we we
have these kinds of conversations because I literally say the
other day, some men really don't mean no harm.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
But there's a way to do and say everything. And
I think once.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
People become a little more intentional about how they are
talking to people, how they're treating people, how they're showing up,
like we won't have a lot of arguments because the
expectations will be clear. Well, we'll both know what's expected,
what we need and what we can provide. And so
I think I'm gonna have to tune into Well, I'm
gonna I'm gonna watch X Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Where you're getting a whole lotation going on.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
I'll have to get y'all to come on cocktails too,
because X Man is just men.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Yeah. Now, side note, we we she's here till Friday.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
I know That's why I'm like, oh yeah, because when
I leave here, we'll be scheduling.
Speaker 4 (36:57):
We're gonna have to record this week.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Okay, yes, girls, get well, thank you so much for
hanging out with so much.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
We're we have done.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
None of this stuff was we didn't stay on. Enjoy
the conversation, Guys, enjoy the conversation. Before we leave, me
and Jolyn are heavy on. Going to go talk to
the lady. Yes, here's a question that I do want
to ask you, which is how are you today? Honestly,
because a lot of us just be like, we're good,
We're fine everything.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
We just want to do a quick check in and
then we'll close out.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Okay today I'm okay, just okay, Friday was a horrible day,
and I am so glad that I had this because
I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna rest
this weekend. I'm gonna play the Sims. I'm gonna eat
some chicken wings and some cake.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
And Perry time.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Tuesday rolls around and I have to do this interviews.
Hopefully my move will be better and it's something to
look forward to. This is something that I wanted to
and like, think about what's what is happening right and
stop focusing on everything that is going.
Speaker 4 (37:58):
Crazy and uh.
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Then and I also talk to my sister and she's
not the lady, but she serves as my lady a
lot of time, and she was like, you know what,
set that damn camera up, Kiera, and record it and
we're going to turn this into something funny. And that's
what we did. And she she's texting me like five times.
I gotta finish the voiceover so I can post it.
Speaker 1 (38:14):
But yeah, I'm doing all right.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
And I just I try to tell people to like
it's okay to just be okay, yeah, but don't stay
in that okay, figure out what's wrong and then figure
out a plan to fix it and I've done that.
One of those things that I do that I have
to cut back on is eating, and I forgot some
other things that I do. But I also wrote a
cookbook and it's called The Classy Bass. It's k L
A S S Y b A S t E so
(38:37):
classybase dot com. I have digital cookbooks, digital recipes and
a physical one. And then also with cocktails, we came
out with a conversation card game called I'm Curious to Know,
and that one is available.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
And I'm Curious Tono dot com.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
I'll be working all day every day, and a lot
of times I forget about things. So y'all definitely check
out the shows, but check out those other things too,
and hopefully in the coming months, I'll have some more
things to put out there.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Well, tell us with it, find you on social media.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
On social media, I am Kikey, said so K I
K I S A I D S O and she
said everything she said so said first.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Okay, yes, well, thank you so much for coming. We
have enjoyed you, and y'all know this this Unfortunately it's
oh no, we come.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
Susie the road. We'll be here Thursday. Okay, we won't
be on the road too long, okay, if we will be.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Back on Thursday where you can watch us on YouTube
if you want the visuals.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
If not, you can watch us or listen to us
wherever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
Just make sure you like, comment and subscribe and hit
that notification bill so you know every time we upload
funny
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