February 18, 2025 • 28 mins
Lizzie Eastham and Sam Rickard present Studio 1 - Vision Australia Radio’s weekly look at life from a low vision and blind point of view.
On this week’s show
"Anne Mok"
Anne Mok is an instagrammer who uses her platform to bring awareness to accessible brands in Canada. Anne talks about her experiences as an Asian with a disability; her diagnosis; and gives some advice to women about empowerment.
Studio 1 welcomes any input from our listeners. If you have any experience or thoughts about issues covered in this episode or believe there is something we should be talking about.
EMAIL: studio1@visionaustralia.org or leave comment on the station’s facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/VARadioNetwork
Thank you to Anne.
Anne Mok Website: https://purposeinview.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/purposeinview/
Anne's Ted Talk: https://youtu.be/T9IaJp5TLzA?si=09YW4CmuJ4gjJTna
Vision Australia gratefully acknowledges the support of the Community Broadcasting Foundation for Studio 1.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
S1 (00:06):
This is studio one on Vision Australia radio.
S2 (00:18):
Hello. I'm Sam. And I'm Lizzie. And this is Studio One,
your weekly look at life from a low vision and
blind point of view. Here on Vision Australia Radio.
S3 (00:25):
On this week's show, we talk to an Instagrammer who's
made it her mission to highlight accessible brands in Canada.
And Mok is our guest.
S2 (00:34):
As we always say at this point, please do get
in touch with the show where you have experience of
any of the issues covered on this week's episode of
Studio One, or if you think there is something we
should be talking about. You never know. Your story and
insight may help somebody else who is dealing with something similar.
S3 (00:48):
You can reach out via email at studio One, at
the studio, number one at Vision Australia. Or of course,
you can drop us a note on our Facebook page
by going to Facebook.
S2 (01:03):
Or you can even look for me. I've got a
brand new Facebook profile. Sam Rickard. Maybe I'll tell you
what the PLI stands for at some other stage. Mhm. Hello, Lizzie.
S3 (01:22):
Hello, Sam. And how are we going this week?
S2 (01:26):
We are going well. Um, some things going right. Some
things didn't quite go right. Uh, me and the other
Sam haven't quite been able to, uh, match our schedules up, but. Well,
he's a busy athlete. I know what it's like to
be there. And he said it had a particularly hard
week of training when I reached out, and that gave
(01:47):
me flashbacks. I've got to tell you, because Chris Nunn,
my former coach at the Institute of Sport, used to
have these things called Hell Weeks and we'd be doing
like four sessions a day. And it was, well, it
did what it says on the tin. It was a
hell week.
S3 (02:03):
Yeah, that sounds particularly painful, but I'm glad to hear
that you've, uh, you know, got the, uh, the stardust
out of your eyes from Valentine's Day, and we're we're
ready to hit the road again.
S2 (02:13):
So actually, we're doing this as a kind of a
preview to International Women's Day, because you've been rather busy
on this one. I mean, it's a very handy thing
for me. I don't really have the equipment required to
do a Women's Day special, so.
S3 (02:26):
I certainly do not.
S2 (02:27):
So I sort of sent it over to you and said, right, Lizzie,
off you go, go, go for broke. And we ended
up with way more material than we needed. So. Well,
we got this preview and well, she sounds quite interesting.
S3 (02:37):
She is. I, you know, she directed me to a
Ted talk, which we'll talk about more in the interview.
But when I listened to it, I thought, wow, this
is the perfect person to talk to for International Women's
Day because of course, uh, International Women's Day has always
been a celebration and an occasion to highlight empowerment for women.
(02:57):
And she does just that. So I am looking forward
to speaking to Anne Mok.
S2 (03:01):
And I mean, can you give us an idea what
we've got to look forward to in another couple of weeks.
S3 (03:06):
Yeah. So of course I will be featuring parts of
her interview. And we'll also be talking to Sheyla J. Raines,
who is an African American woman from Indiana who has
faced many systemic barriers. But she's overcome them to live
quite a fulfilling and productive life. And I think you're
really going to enjoy International Women's Day, and I will
(03:27):
throw in some facts there as well, because, you know,
Studio One isn't the same without a history lesson.
S2 (03:32):
Well, what I'm looking forward to it is simply sitting back,
looking at it all happening through the studio window and
drinking a beer because nothing says International Women's Day like
a bloke sitting doing nothing and drinking a beer.
S3 (03:44):
Well, that's right, and it's not so much that you
handed me this project, Sam. It's more that I kicked
you out of the studio. You don't forget it.
S2 (03:51):
But anyway, so let's talk to Anne. And the first
thing we've got to do is. Well, I'll leave that
up to you.
S3 (03:57):
Yes. Welcome, Anne Mok to the studio. And thanks for
speaking with us.
S4 (04:03):
Thank you so much, Lizzy. Thank you for having me
here today.
S5 (04:06):
So the reason that I wanted to get you on
the program. Well, you approached me when I initially put
out the feelers about this, uh, show for International Women's Day.
And he led me to a very interesting Ted talk
that you'd done. And I was so captivated and moved
by the story that you told and what you had
to say. So talk a little bit about where you
(04:27):
grew up. And, um, you're moving from Malaysia to Canada.
S4 (04:30):
So my family immigrated from Malaysia to Canada when I
was just two years old. And my parents, you know,
they worked really hard and they were really proud when
they were finally able to buy their first home here.
And it was home in a picture perfect neighborhood. It
was just a few minutes walking distance to the local school.
(04:52):
And my parents just wanted us all to belong and
be part of a community.
S5 (04:57):
So did your moving from Malaysia to Canada have anything
to do with your vision impairment or, um, like lack
of accessibility in Malaysia for, you know.
S4 (05:06):
Uh, I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood with my vision loss.
But growing up, I had always worn glasses since I
was three years old.
S5 (05:15):
And how did people act towards you? Because, like, obviously
not not everybody wears glasses. So already there, there's a
difference between you and other people. And how did the
people around you react to that?
S4 (05:25):
I was called names, uh, when I was a kid.
So with my vision, um, struggles. I wear those Coke
bottle thick lenses, and I would be called Four Eyes.
I was short, so I would be called names because
I was short. And then also because of my culture,
(05:47):
I was also called names as well. So it was
a real struggle. And then going through school, I just
didn't do as well as probably my brother and sister did.
And they wore glasses too. And so my family never
questioned further my vision loss and being new immigrants to
(06:07):
the country. We just went along with things, uh, you know,
not making any fusses or noises and of course.
S5 (06:15):
Yeah. And in the Ted talk, you also told the
story you opened with this really moving story about having
rocks thrown through your window. So just tell us that story.
And what led to this and what were the repercussions afterwards?
S4 (06:32):
Yes. So at the time in my school community, there
were only two Chinese families, one Japanese family and one
Southeast Asian family. My brother is about three years older
than me. So by the time he was in school,
he was constantly bullied as an Asian kid. Me being
a youngster, I didn't really know what was going on,
(06:55):
and I remember distinctly when I was about three years
old and I was sitting in one of the rooms
and I was just playing on the floor in the carpet,
and I remember feeling that warm sun on my back,
and there was a window that overlooked the street. And
then suddenly the glass just shattered and there was a
rock beside me and terrified. I just ran from the room.
(07:20):
You know, when you're young, you don't question where you
belong or what differences are pointed out until someone tells
you that you don't belong. This moment That Shattered Glass
was my first real introduction to being seen as other.
And those rocks were just a one time thing. It
(07:41):
happened over and over again. Um, our home, our place
that was supposed to be our safe haven was a target.
And I was just too young to fully understand why,
but I felt it. I felt the unease, the fear,
the constant reminder that we were seen as outsiders. And
that rock wasn't just a piece of stone. It was
(08:02):
a message. A message that said that you don't belong here.
And I already felt like I didn't belong because of
my visual impairment. And then adding the cultural background was
another layer, and I didn't know anyone who looked like me,
who had a disability. I didn't see representation in the media,
in my community, or even in my own circles. And
(08:25):
even though my parents had raised us very westernized, it's
still ingrained in the culture that disability isn't something that
is talked about. And in fact, disability is seen as
being broken in the culture.
S3 (08:38):
So as you grew up and these differences kept getting
pointed out, what impact did your not belonging or not
having a sense of belonging have on your like your
mental health and just the way that you function daily?
S4 (08:54):
Um, I became very quiet. I became extremely shy. I
would go days at school without even speaking, and I
wouldn't even raise up my hand to answer questions. I
was always the kid on the report card that said,
you know, I would do much better if she could participate,
but I never did. I just didn't want to draw
any attention to myself. I already felt like I stuck
(09:18):
out like a sore thumb. You know, people kids would
get I would get picked on, you know, be picked
on last for sports. Um, I wasn't even good at
math or good at piano. The the things that an
Asian kid is expected to be good at. And I
really struggled with that. And then as I moved into
(09:40):
my teenage years, there were more Asians immigrating to Canada.
But I felt even more of an identity crisis. I
was too Asian to be fully accepted as Canadian, but
I was too Canadian to fit in with the Asian people.
So I felt very lost.
S3 (09:58):
I think that that struck a nerve with a lot
of people, because a lot of people stand at this
cross section of whether it be cultures or identities or
faiths or age groups even. And the sense of not
belonging can impact people so negatively. So let's move to
when you were diagnosed with your vision impairment. When was that?
(10:20):
And can you talk us a little bit through your
experience with that and how it impacted you?
S4 (10:24):
Sure. So I was um, in my mid to late
30s when I started noticing that I wasn't able to
see the things that I knew I was supposed to see,
you know, in, in childhood, in life, I was just
getting by with glasses. I bumped into people. I was clumsy,
but I just assumed that that's just me. And it
(10:46):
wasn't until I was starting to drive, and I was, um,
working full time and taking care of the kids. And
I couldn't see the street signs ahead of me, even
though I knew it by memory. Um, but I couldn't
read them anymore, and I couldn't even read the license
plate right in front of me. And I thought it
(11:06):
was so strange. And so I kept going to the
eye doctor and he kept saying, your eyes are fine. Like,
give me a little change of prescription. But it really
did nothing. And my constant sentence that I always said was,
I can't see when I know I'm supposed to see.
And so this went on for about eight years. And
(11:27):
then at that last appointment, I decided maybe I'll get
contact lenses. Maybe if I put them right up against
my eyeballs, maybe I could see better. But in fact,
it actually made it worse. And so that's when the
optometrist decided to send me to a retinal specialist. And
that was the first time that someone said, I believe you,
(11:49):
because I honestly thought that psychologically I was having problems
because I was so anxious all the time. And I
had already given up driving years before this because I
knew that something wasn't quite right with my vision. And
on the day of my diagnosis was actually the day
that I had to sign a contract for a new
job that I just got. And it was a dream job,
(12:11):
and it's something that I worked so hard to get.
So it was, um, it was a really challenging time. And,
you know, that struggle of when you're in the gray
area of you could see but you can't see. Um, was,
I think, probably the hardest times, of course.
S3 (12:27):
And when the retinal specialist said to you, like, I
believe you. Talk us through the feelings that you felt
when they said that.
S4 (12:35):
I actually felt relieved. Um, because knowing that there was
an answer and that I wasn't losing it. Trusting my
gut was so important, and continuing to advocate for myself
and trusting my gut finally got me to this point.
It took a long time, but I got there. And
then we spent the next two years doing tests. And
(12:57):
then that's when I was diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy, uh,
which is a rare inherited retinal condition that affects both
the cones and rods at the back of the eyes.
So those cells were dying at the back of my eyes. Yeah.
And I just didn't know I was very lost because
I didn't know the future for me. I didn't know
(13:18):
how fast this would progress or not. And I didn't
disclose it to my employer that I had vision loss
because I just didn't know. So I really led a
double life for many years.
S3 (13:31):
So does the impact of cone rod dystrophy mean that
your vision is going to get worse over time?
S4 (13:36):
Because there's not much known about it? Some people will
and some people kind of remain stable, so there's no
real answers. So I am seeing every six months by
the retinal specialist. And in here in Canada it's called
fighting Blindness Canada for any clinical trials so that they
monitor me and just basically study my case to see
(13:59):
how things go.
S3 (14:00):
Fantastic. Yeah.
S4 (14:01):
And yeah.
S3 (14:03):
Let's move forward to 2019, and you were given another
diagnosis that would impact your life majorly. And I think
if I get this correct, it's new daily persistent headaches.
Is that correct?
S4 (14:20):
That's right. New daily persistent headache. So what happened was
in 2018, I decided to disclose to my employer that
I was losing my vision and none of them, nobody
had a clue. They were so shocked because I managed
to hide it so well. But I also knew that
I wasn't able to do the job that I had.
(14:41):
And at the time, I was working as a nursing
assistant in the procedure room in a fertility clinic.
S3 (14:46):
Wow.
S4 (14:47):
Yeah. And I mean, I the the interesting thing about
that is that the procedure room is so organized and
so detailed that I knew when things were out of
place and I worked on muscle memory, and I really
new people's body language. So I was able to maneuver
(15:08):
the space very well. I actually felt safe in that space.
And so then, um, knowing that I was feeling deterioration
in my vision loss, then I asked for accommodations, and
I got that those accommodations in September of that year.
And then unfortunately, a few months later in January 2019,
that's when I just woke up one day and I
(15:30):
had this terrible migraine headache that I actually still have today.
So every day I have a headache. Um, it's always there.
It never goes away. And, um, those first eight months
of my diagnosis, I ended up being bedridden because it
was so painful.
S3 (15:49):
Wow. And what measures do you take today to combat that?
S4 (15:53):
A lot of it has been a change in my mindset. I,
I accept and recognize that there is no cure for this.
I will continue to see the doctors. I have a
really good care team and I try different medications. The
most it's done for me now is just to stabilize it.
So I have a grade four out of ten pain
(16:16):
that's just there every day. Um. For pain. Yeah. And
then I just make a conscious decision just to rest.
And I live my life in the low paid moments.
Because I feel like the energy that I was using
to fight it took more out of me. And I
just lean in. Lean into the pain. Wow.
S3 (16:36):
It always amazes me the power of the mindset because
as people with disabilities, we already have that working against
us in a way, no matter how, um, progressive or
up to date society might be, we still have to,
you know, work with a positive mindset because there are
still barriers. So what were your family's reaction to all
(17:00):
of this? Because you had just said to me prior
to that that, um, your culture isn't really accepting of
people with disabilities. So what was their reaction?
S4 (17:08):
It's still to this day, nobody really understands the depth
of what I've gone through, what I continue to go through,
and even with vision loss as well, because on the
outside I look like I'm fine, but it's the inside
that is struggling. And same with vision loss as well.
My immediate family, like my husband, my children have been wonderful.
(17:31):
They've been incredibly supportive. My husband has taken on the
role of caregiver. He ensures that, um, you know, I
just have to get through the day. Um, he makes
sure that he he does the groceries. He cooks so
that I don't have to worry. And my kids have
are older now, and they help around the house. So
(17:51):
that in itself has been a huge blessing and a
huge help to me. And it's allowed me to be
able to just focus on my health. And I have
to let I have to let those small things go
before or drive me drive me nuts. But yeah, I
just have to let it go because it's not going
to help.
S3 (18:08):
So let's move forward to your Ted talk, which is
really what captivated me and shaped the questions that I ask.
And in the Ted talk, you use the analogy of
putting back together a mirror, and each piece of the
mirror represents an aspect or an area in your life.
(18:30):
And I think inclusion was one of them. And accessibility perhaps.
So talk us through those pieces of the mirror. And
why did you use the mirror analogy?
S4 (18:39):
When I was crafting my Ted talk, there was pieces
that I wanted to tell and the story, and I
couldn't connect it. And I really struggled. But all of
a sudden it hit me that, you know, when we
look in the mirror, what we see and what we
believe can be very many different things. And in life,
when we go through a chronic illness or a major
(19:01):
life change, those things can totally shatter. And what do
you do with those pieces after that? You know, they
may not all fit in the same spots that they
were before, but you can actually create something new out
of that. And it's all those cracks. That is where
the light shines through and where you can find hope
(19:24):
and a new perspective. And then when you put them together,
things can actually turn out better than you actually even expected.
And I found that that has been my journey after, um,
accepting my vision loss and accepting my chronic illness. My
life has turned and changed in so many positive ways
(19:44):
that I would never have imagined. And I'm actually thankful
for going through all of that, because it's led me
to be the person that I am today and actually
be my true self. That I'm no longer hiding anymore.
Not hiding my disability. I'm not hiding my heritage. I'm
fully me.
S3 (20:02):
That is so important. And how has this changed your life? Like,
obviously your jobs changed, but what else has changed?
S4 (20:10):
When I was, um, bedridden for those eight months, it was, um,
the lowest point. I struggled with severe depression. But one
thing in my mind was, you know, I don't I
don't want my children to see me give up on
life and, you know, leaving a legacy for my kids.
What lessons do I want them to to get out
(20:30):
of this? And it's like in life, things happen all
the time, but it's really how you move through them,
not get over them. But you can carve a new path.
And I want them to know that, you know, life
may throw these things at you, but you are the
author of your own story. You can rewrite your life
(20:50):
and you can turn the page on that chapter. And
so that's what I did. I really just dug deep
into myself. And at the time, you know, my phone
was a lifeline. Um, I needed it to, uh, order groceries,
things like that. I still like shopping, so I'd be
scrolling and I noticed that, um, website inaccessibility was a
(21:14):
huge issue. And then the pandemic hit and it became
even more of an issue. And I really realized, like,
what can I do to help make a change? And
with the pandemic, small businesses were also struggling. So I thought,
you know what, I'll go on Instagram. I don't know
anything about social media at all. But I knew that
(21:35):
Instagram is a visual medium and I really wanted to
challenge it. I wanted to show that we can make
it as accessible as possible. We can create accessible content.
And I can use that to support small businesses as well.
Because I still like to shop, I still would shop.
And then I would tag the small business and then
I would like post a photo of it. And it
(21:56):
actually turned into, um, very healing for me. And because
I looked at if I create a post, it's one
day a week I can get up. I'll take a
shower because it was so hard to do that at
the time and, you know, to comb my hair or
put on some makeup and then take a photo and
then I'd rest. And then the next day I might
(22:17):
write a caption, and then I'd rest, and then the
next day I would, uh, you know, post and then,
you know, engage on social media. And that helped me
to give some sort of purpose. And that was just
one small thing that I did, but it became a
snowball effect. Uh, people started to notice and suddenly the
(22:39):
sighted community was interested in the accessibility. Uh, brands were
interested in the accessibility. And I was showing up. And
that's when things really changed for me. Um, and it
was this particular moment when a young girl from another
continent reached out and said, I've never seen anyone that
(23:01):
looks like me using a white cane. King. And that,
to me, was the moment I realized how important representation is,
how important it is for me to show up and
keep doing the work so that we can create ripple
effects of change.
S3 (23:17):
Wow. And that fed so beautifully into the question I
was going to ask, which was, have you had people
reach out to you and describe the way that your
life on social media has impacted them in a positive way?
S4 (23:32):
Yes, absolutely. Um, I've had, uh, not only this young girl,
but I've had a number of, um, community members, followers
who have followed me. It's very quietly. And they were
in that point of, I need to use a cane,
but I'm afraid to use my cane because of the stigma.
And just watching me go out, um, and just be
(23:54):
unapologetically me, um, swinging my cane and then dressing up,
it gave them that, that push to say, yeah, I
can do this too. And it doesn't change anything more
about me. I'm still me. And my motto right now
is like, if people are gonna stare at me, I'm
going to give them something good to stare at. So
(24:15):
I very, you know, I will just go out there
and walk. Walk it.
S3 (24:20):
I love that so much. I mean, um, that's that
speaks so true to my experience as well because, uh,
when I used to go out when I was younger,
people used to stare at me and like, my mother
and sister would say, take a picture. It lasts longer.
And then I thought to myself, one day I was like, hey,
if I dress up and they do take a picture, like,
(24:42):
that's going to be one really good looking picture.
S6 (24:44):
It is.
S3 (24:49):
What would be your message to other women that are
going through similar crises? Maybe not, you know, in terms
of vision loss, but maybe with their cultural identity or
their faith or anything. What's your message to women.
S4 (25:05):
Amid a surge would be, I think, to, you know,
any person that's out there who feels like they don't belong.
Whether it's because of disability or cultural identity or both.
I really want them to know you are not alone.
And I know what it's like to feel different, to
feel like you have to shrink yourself, to fit in,
(25:27):
to wish you could change the very things that make you, you.
Just to be accepted. And for many years, I tried
to stay quiet. I didn't want to stand out as
the only Asian girl in the room. I didn't want
to be noticed for struggling to see. I just wanted
to blend in and be invisible. But here's what I
wish someone had told me back then, is that the
(25:48):
things that make you different are actually the things that
make you powerful. And those are your superpowers.
S7 (25:56):
I love that so much.
S3 (25:58):
Um, because, uh, everybody is different. Nobody is ever the same.
And if people want to find you to watch you
grow on Instagram. Or to watch a Ted talk, where
can they find you?
S4 (26:14):
So I can find me on Instagram at Purpose and View.
And my website is purpose. Com and my Ted talk
can be found on YouTube and it's called Blindsighted by
Anne Mok.
S3 (26:27):
Brilliant. And we will have all of the, uh, the
links to all of those things in the podcast.
S4 (26:34):
Thank you so much and thank you so much for
having me. I loved having this conversation. It's been something
that's been in my heart for a long time and
being able to share. The story and give voices to
so many. Uh, I think it's it's powerful.
S8 (26:54):
That's a wrap for this week's show. Thank you to
Anne Mok for sharing your remarkable.
S3 (26:59):
Story with us. And of course, thanks to you for
listening next week.
S2 (27:03):
While it is it is really wonderful for people to
help us out, and sometimes, yes, we do need to
be helped. Whether it's to find that seat on the
bus or to not fall off the actual bus, which
has happened to me once or twice. Have you ever
met somebody who is a little over helpful? The Boy
Scout syndrome.
S3 (27:24):
But between now and then, please do get in touch
with us. Whether you have experience of any of the
issues covered on this week's episode of Studio One, or
if you think there's something we should be talking about.
You never know. Your story and insight may help someone
who's dealing with something similar.
S2 (27:39):
You can email us Studio One. Org that's studio number
one at Vision Australia.
S3 (27:43):
Org or you can search us up on social media,
whether that be Facebook or Instagram by looking for VA
Radio Network. We want to hear from you.
S2 (27:54):
Bye for now.
S1 (27:56):
Vision Australia Radio gratefully acknowledges the support of the Community
Broadcasting Foundation for Studio One.
This is studio one on Vision Australia radio.
S2 (00:18):
Hello. I'm Sam. And I'm Lizzie. And this is Studio One,
your weekly look at life from a low vision and
blind point of view. Here on Vision Australia Radio.
S3 (00:25):
On this week's show, we talk to an Instagrammer who's
made it her mission to highlight accessible brands in Canada.
And Mok is our guest.
S2 (00:34):
As we always say at this point, please do get
in touch with the show where you have experience of
any of the issues covered on this week's episode of
Studio One, or if you think there is something we
should be talking about. You never know. Your story and
insight may help somebody else who is dealing with something similar.
S3 (00:48):
You can reach out via email at studio One, at
the studio, number one at Vision Australia. Or of course,
you can drop us a note on our Facebook page
by going to Facebook.
S2 (01:03):
Or you can even look for me. I've got a
brand new Facebook profile. Sam Rickard. Maybe I'll tell you
what the PLI stands for at some other stage. Mhm. Hello, Lizzie.
S3 (01:22):
Hello, Sam. And how are we going this week?
S2 (01:26):
We are going well. Um, some things going right. Some
things didn't quite go right. Uh, me and the other
Sam haven't quite been able to, uh, match our schedules up, but. Well,
he's a busy athlete. I know what it's like to
be there. And he said it had a particularly hard
week of training when I reached out, and that gave
(01:47):
me flashbacks. I've got to tell you, because Chris Nunn,
my former coach at the Institute of Sport, used to
have these things called Hell Weeks and we'd be doing
like four sessions a day. And it was, well, it
did what it says on the tin. It was a
hell week.
S3 (02:03):
Yeah, that sounds particularly painful, but I'm glad to hear
that you've, uh, you know, got the, uh, the stardust
out of your eyes from Valentine's Day, and we're we're
ready to hit the road again.
S2 (02:13):
So actually, we're doing this as a kind of a
preview to International Women's Day, because you've been rather busy
on this one. I mean, it's a very handy thing
for me. I don't really have the equipment required to
do a Women's Day special, so.
S3 (02:26):
I certainly do not.
S2 (02:27):
So I sort of sent it over to you and said, right, Lizzie,
off you go, go, go for broke. And we ended
up with way more material than we needed. So. Well,
we got this preview and well, she sounds quite interesting.
S3 (02:37):
She is. I, you know, she directed me to a
Ted talk, which we'll talk about more in the interview.
But when I listened to it, I thought, wow, this
is the perfect person to talk to for International Women's
Day because of course, uh, International Women's Day has always
been a celebration and an occasion to highlight empowerment for women.
(02:57):
And she does just that. So I am looking forward
to speaking to Anne Mok.
S2 (03:01):
And I mean, can you give us an idea what
we've got to look forward to in another couple of weeks.
S3 (03:06):
Yeah. So of course I will be featuring parts of
her interview. And we'll also be talking to Sheyla J. Raines,
who is an African American woman from Indiana who has
faced many systemic barriers. But she's overcome them to live
quite a fulfilling and productive life. And I think you're
really going to enjoy International Women's Day, and I will
(03:27):
throw in some facts there as well, because, you know,
Studio One isn't the same without a history lesson.
S2 (03:32):
Well, what I'm looking forward to it is simply sitting back,
looking at it all happening through the studio window and
drinking a beer because nothing says International Women's Day like
a bloke sitting doing nothing and drinking a beer.
S3 (03:44):
Well, that's right, and it's not so much that you
handed me this project, Sam. It's more that I kicked
you out of the studio. You don't forget it.
S2 (03:51):
But anyway, so let's talk to Anne. And the first
thing we've got to do is. Well, I'll leave that
up to you.
S3 (03:57):
Yes. Welcome, Anne Mok to the studio. And thanks for
speaking with us.
S4 (04:03):
Thank you so much, Lizzy. Thank you for having me
here today.
S5 (04:06):
So the reason that I wanted to get you on
the program. Well, you approached me when I initially put
out the feelers about this, uh, show for International Women's Day.
And he led me to a very interesting Ted talk
that you'd done. And I was so captivated and moved
by the story that you told and what you had
to say. So talk a little bit about where you
(04:27):
grew up. And, um, you're moving from Malaysia to Canada.
S4 (04:30):
So my family immigrated from Malaysia to Canada when I
was just two years old. And my parents, you know,
they worked really hard and they were really proud when
they were finally able to buy their first home here.
And it was home in a picture perfect neighborhood. It
was just a few minutes walking distance to the local school.
(04:52):
And my parents just wanted us all to belong and
be part of a community.
S5 (04:57):
So did your moving from Malaysia to Canada have anything
to do with your vision impairment or, um, like lack
of accessibility in Malaysia for, you know.
S4 (05:06):
Uh, I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood with my vision loss.
But growing up, I had always worn glasses since I
was three years old.
S5 (05:15):
And how did people act towards you? Because, like, obviously
not not everybody wears glasses. So already there, there's a
difference between you and other people. And how did the
people around you react to that?
S4 (05:25):
I was called names, uh, when I was a kid.
So with my vision, um, struggles. I wear those Coke
bottle thick lenses, and I would be called Four Eyes.
I was short, so I would be called names because
I was short. And then also because of my culture,
(05:47):
I was also called names as well. So it was
a real struggle. And then going through school, I just
didn't do as well as probably my brother and sister did.
And they wore glasses too. And so my family never
questioned further my vision loss and being new immigrants to
(06:07):
the country. We just went along with things, uh, you know,
not making any fusses or noises and of course.
S5 (06:15):
Yeah. And in the Ted talk, you also told the
story you opened with this really moving story about having
rocks thrown through your window. So just tell us that story.
And what led to this and what were the repercussions afterwards?
S4 (06:32):
Yes. So at the time in my school community, there
were only two Chinese families, one Japanese family and one
Southeast Asian family. My brother is about three years older
than me. So by the time he was in school,
he was constantly bullied as an Asian kid. Me being
a youngster, I didn't really know what was going on,
(06:55):
and I remember distinctly when I was about three years
old and I was sitting in one of the rooms
and I was just playing on the floor in the carpet,
and I remember feeling that warm sun on my back,
and there was a window that overlooked the street. And
then suddenly the glass just shattered and there was a
rock beside me and terrified. I just ran from the room.
(07:20):
You know, when you're young, you don't question where you
belong or what differences are pointed out until someone tells
you that you don't belong. This moment That Shattered Glass
was my first real introduction to being seen as other.
And those rocks were just a one time thing. It
(07:41):
happened over and over again. Um, our home, our place
that was supposed to be our safe haven was a target.
And I was just too young to fully understand why,
but I felt it. I felt the unease, the fear,
the constant reminder that we were seen as outsiders. And
that rock wasn't just a piece of stone. It was
(08:02):
a message. A message that said that you don't belong here.
And I already felt like I didn't belong because of
my visual impairment. And then adding the cultural background was
another layer, and I didn't know anyone who looked like me,
who had a disability. I didn't see representation in the media,
in my community, or even in my own circles. And
(08:25):
even though my parents had raised us very westernized, it's
still ingrained in the culture that disability isn't something that
is talked about. And in fact, disability is seen as
being broken in the culture.
S3 (08:38):
So as you grew up and these differences kept getting
pointed out, what impact did your not belonging or not
having a sense of belonging have on your like your
mental health and just the way that you function daily?
S4 (08:54):
Um, I became very quiet. I became extremely shy. I
would go days at school without even speaking, and I
wouldn't even raise up my hand to answer questions. I
was always the kid on the report card that said,
you know, I would do much better if she could participate,
but I never did. I just didn't want to draw
any attention to myself. I already felt like I stuck
(09:18):
out like a sore thumb. You know, people kids would
get I would get picked on, you know, be picked
on last for sports. Um, I wasn't even good at
math or good at piano. The the things that an
Asian kid is expected to be good at. And I
really struggled with that. And then as I moved into
(09:40):
my teenage years, there were more Asians immigrating to Canada.
But I felt even more of an identity crisis. I
was too Asian to be fully accepted as Canadian, but
I was too Canadian to fit in with the Asian people.
So I felt very lost.
S3 (09:58):
I think that that struck a nerve with a lot
of people, because a lot of people stand at this
cross section of whether it be cultures or identities or
faiths or age groups even. And the sense of not
belonging can impact people so negatively. So let's move to
when you were diagnosed with your vision impairment. When was that?
(10:20):
And can you talk us a little bit through your
experience with that and how it impacted you?
S4 (10:24):
Sure. So I was um, in my mid to late
30s when I started noticing that I wasn't able to
see the things that I knew I was supposed to see,
you know, in, in childhood, in life, I was just
getting by with glasses. I bumped into people. I was clumsy,
but I just assumed that that's just me. And it
(10:46):
wasn't until I was starting to drive, and I was, um,
working full time and taking care of the kids. And
I couldn't see the street signs ahead of me, even
though I knew it by memory. Um, but I couldn't
read them anymore, and I couldn't even read the license
plate right in front of me. And I thought it
(11:06):
was so strange. And so I kept going to the
eye doctor and he kept saying, your eyes are fine. Like,
give me a little change of prescription. But it really
did nothing. And my constant sentence that I always said was,
I can't see when I know I'm supposed to see.
And so this went on for about eight years. And
(11:27):
then at that last appointment, I decided maybe I'll get
contact lenses. Maybe if I put them right up against
my eyeballs, maybe I could see better. But in fact,
it actually made it worse. And so that's when the
optometrist decided to send me to a retinal specialist. And
that was the first time that someone said, I believe you,
(11:49):
because I honestly thought that psychologically I was having problems
because I was so anxious all the time. And I
had already given up driving years before this because I
knew that something wasn't quite right with my vision. And
on the day of my diagnosis was actually the day
that I had to sign a contract for a new
job that I just got. And it was a dream job,
(12:11):
and it's something that I worked so hard to get.
So it was, um, it was a really challenging time. And,
you know, that struggle of when you're in the gray
area of you could see but you can't see. Um, was,
I think, probably the hardest times, of course.
S3 (12:27):
And when the retinal specialist said to you, like, I
believe you. Talk us through the feelings that you felt
when they said that.
S4 (12:35):
I actually felt relieved. Um, because knowing that there was
an answer and that I wasn't losing it. Trusting my
gut was so important, and continuing to advocate for myself
and trusting my gut finally got me to this point.
It took a long time, but I got there. And
then we spent the next two years doing tests. And
(12:57):
then that's when I was diagnosed with cone rod dystrophy, uh,
which is a rare inherited retinal condition that affects both
the cones and rods at the back of the eyes.
So those cells were dying at the back of my eyes. Yeah.
And I just didn't know I was very lost because
I didn't know the future for me. I didn't know
(13:18):
how fast this would progress or not. And I didn't
disclose it to my employer that I had vision loss
because I just didn't know. So I really led a
double life for many years.
S3 (13:31):
So does the impact of cone rod dystrophy mean that
your vision is going to get worse over time?
S4 (13:36):
Because there's not much known about it? Some people will
and some people kind of remain stable, so there's no
real answers. So I am seeing every six months by
the retinal specialist. And in here in Canada it's called
fighting Blindness Canada for any clinical trials so that they
monitor me and just basically study my case to see
(13:59):
how things go.
S3 (14:00):
Fantastic. Yeah.
S4 (14:01):
And yeah.
S3 (14:03):
Let's move forward to 2019, and you were given another
diagnosis that would impact your life majorly. And I think
if I get this correct, it's new daily persistent headaches.
Is that correct?
S4 (14:20):
That's right. New daily persistent headache. So what happened was
in 2018, I decided to disclose to my employer that
I was losing my vision and none of them, nobody
had a clue. They were so shocked because I managed
to hide it so well. But I also knew that
I wasn't able to do the job that I had.
(14:41):
And at the time, I was working as a nursing
assistant in the procedure room in a fertility clinic.
S3 (14:46):
Wow.
S4 (14:47):
Yeah. And I mean, I the the interesting thing about
that is that the procedure room is so organized and
so detailed that I knew when things were out of
place and I worked on muscle memory, and I really
new people's body language. So I was able to maneuver
(15:08):
the space very well. I actually felt safe in that space.
And so then, um, knowing that I was feeling deterioration
in my vision loss, then I asked for accommodations, and
I got that those accommodations in September of that year.
And then unfortunately, a few months later in January 2019,
that's when I just woke up one day and I
(15:30):
had this terrible migraine headache that I actually still have today.
So every day I have a headache. Um, it's always there.
It never goes away. And, um, those first eight months
of my diagnosis, I ended up being bedridden because it
was so painful.
S3 (15:49):
Wow. And what measures do you take today to combat that?
S4 (15:53):
A lot of it has been a change in my mindset. I,
I accept and recognize that there is no cure for this.
I will continue to see the doctors. I have a
really good care team and I try different medications. The
most it's done for me now is just to stabilize it.
So I have a grade four out of ten pain
(16:16):
that's just there every day. Um. For pain. Yeah. And
then I just make a conscious decision just to rest.
And I live my life in the low paid moments.
Because I feel like the energy that I was using
to fight it took more out of me. And I
just lean in. Lean into the pain. Wow.
S3 (16:36):
It always amazes me the power of the mindset because
as people with disabilities, we already have that working against
us in a way, no matter how, um, progressive or
up to date society might be, we still have to,
you know, work with a positive mindset because there are
still barriers. So what were your family's reaction to all
(17:00):
of this? Because you had just said to me prior
to that that, um, your culture isn't really accepting of
people with disabilities. So what was their reaction?
S4 (17:08):
It's still to this day, nobody really understands the depth
of what I've gone through, what I continue to go through,
and even with vision loss as well, because on the
outside I look like I'm fine, but it's the inside
that is struggling. And same with vision loss as well.
My immediate family, like my husband, my children have been wonderful.
(17:31):
They've been incredibly supportive. My husband has taken on the
role of caregiver. He ensures that, um, you know, I
just have to get through the day. Um, he makes
sure that he he does the groceries. He cooks so
that I don't have to worry. And my kids have
are older now, and they help around the house. So
(17:51):
that in itself has been a huge blessing and a
huge help to me. And it's allowed me to be
able to just focus on my health. And I have
to let I have to let those small things go
before or drive me drive me nuts. But yeah, I
just have to let it go because it's not going
to help.
S3 (18:08):
So let's move forward to your Ted talk, which is
really what captivated me and shaped the questions that I ask.
And in the Ted talk, you use the analogy of
putting back together a mirror, and each piece of the
mirror represents an aspect or an area in your life.
(18:30):
And I think inclusion was one of them. And accessibility perhaps.
So talk us through those pieces of the mirror. And
why did you use the mirror analogy?
S4 (18:39):
When I was crafting my Ted talk, there was pieces
that I wanted to tell and the story, and I
couldn't connect it. And I really struggled. But all of
a sudden it hit me that, you know, when we
look in the mirror, what we see and what we
believe can be very many different things. And in life,
when we go through a chronic illness or a major
(19:01):
life change, those things can totally shatter. And what do
you do with those pieces after that? You know, they
may not all fit in the same spots that they
were before, but you can actually create something new out
of that. And it's all those cracks. That is where
the light shines through and where you can find hope
(19:24):
and a new perspective. And then when you put them together,
things can actually turn out better than you actually even expected.
And I found that that has been my journey after, um,
accepting my vision loss and accepting my chronic illness. My
life has turned and changed in so many positive ways
(19:44):
that I would never have imagined. And I'm actually thankful
for going through all of that, because it's led me
to be the person that I am today and actually
be my true self. That I'm no longer hiding anymore.
Not hiding my disability. I'm not hiding my heritage. I'm
fully me.
S3 (20:02):
That is so important. And how has this changed your life? Like,
obviously your jobs changed, but what else has changed?
S4 (20:10):
When I was, um, bedridden for those eight months, it was, um,
the lowest point. I struggled with severe depression. But one
thing in my mind was, you know, I don't I
don't want my children to see me give up on
life and, you know, leaving a legacy for my kids.
What lessons do I want them to to get out
(20:30):
of this? And it's like in life, things happen all
the time, but it's really how you move through them,
not get over them. But you can carve a new path.
And I want them to know that, you know, life
may throw these things at you, but you are the
author of your own story. You can rewrite your life
(20:50):
and you can turn the page on that chapter. And
so that's what I did. I really just dug deep
into myself. And at the time, you know, my phone
was a lifeline. Um, I needed it to, uh, order groceries,
things like that. I still like shopping, so I'd be
scrolling and I noticed that, um, website inaccessibility was a
(21:14):
huge issue. And then the pandemic hit and it became
even more of an issue. And I really realized, like,
what can I do to help make a change? And
with the pandemic, small businesses were also struggling. So I thought,
you know what, I'll go on Instagram. I don't know
anything about social media at all. But I knew that
(21:35):
Instagram is a visual medium and I really wanted to
challenge it. I wanted to show that we can make
it as accessible as possible. We can create accessible content.
And I can use that to support small businesses as well.
Because I still like to shop, I still would shop.
And then I would tag the small business and then
I would like post a photo of it. And it
(21:56):
actually turned into, um, very healing for me. And because
I looked at if I create a post, it's one
day a week I can get up. I'll take a
shower because it was so hard to do that at
the time and, you know, to comb my hair or
put on some makeup and then take a photo and
then I'd rest. And then the next day I might
(22:17):
write a caption, and then I'd rest, and then the
next day I would, uh, you know, post and then,
you know, engage on social media. And that helped me
to give some sort of purpose. And that was just
one small thing that I did, but it became a
snowball effect. Uh, people started to notice and suddenly the
(22:39):
sighted community was interested in the accessibility. Uh, brands were
interested in the accessibility. And I was showing up. And
that's when things really changed for me. Um, and it
was this particular moment when a young girl from another
continent reached out and said, I've never seen anyone that
(23:01):
looks like me using a white cane. King. And that,
to me, was the moment I realized how important representation is,
how important it is for me to show up and
keep doing the work so that we can create ripple
effects of change.
S3 (23:17):
Wow. And that fed so beautifully into the question I
was going to ask, which was, have you had people
reach out to you and describe the way that your
life on social media has impacted them in a positive way?
S4 (23:32):
Yes, absolutely. Um, I've had, uh, not only this young girl,
but I've had a number of, um, community members, followers
who have followed me. It's very quietly. And they were
in that point of, I need to use a cane,
but I'm afraid to use my cane because of the stigma.
And just watching me go out, um, and just be
(23:54):
unapologetically me, um, swinging my cane and then dressing up,
it gave them that, that push to say, yeah, I
can do this too. And it doesn't change anything more
about me. I'm still me. And my motto right now
is like, if people are gonna stare at me, I'm
going to give them something good to stare at. So
(24:15):
I very, you know, I will just go out there
and walk. Walk it.
S3 (24:20):
I love that so much. I mean, um, that's that
speaks so true to my experience as well because, uh,
when I used to go out when I was younger,
people used to stare at me and like, my mother
and sister would say, take a picture. It lasts longer.
And then I thought to myself, one day I was like, hey,
if I dress up and they do take a picture, like,
(24:42):
that's going to be one really good looking picture.
S6 (24:44):
It is.
S3 (24:49):
What would be your message to other women that are
going through similar crises? Maybe not, you know, in terms
of vision loss, but maybe with their cultural identity or
their faith or anything. What's your message to women.
S4 (25:05):
Amid a surge would be, I think, to, you know,
any person that's out there who feels like they don't belong.
Whether it's because of disability or cultural identity or both.
I really want them to know you are not alone.
And I know what it's like to feel different, to
feel like you have to shrink yourself, to fit in,
(25:27):
to wish you could change the very things that make you, you.
Just to be accepted. And for many years, I tried
to stay quiet. I didn't want to stand out as
the only Asian girl in the room. I didn't want
to be noticed for struggling to see. I just wanted
to blend in and be invisible. But here's what I
wish someone had told me back then, is that the
(25:48):
things that make you different are actually the things that
make you powerful. And those are your superpowers.
S7 (25:56):
I love that so much.
S3 (25:58):
Um, because, uh, everybody is different. Nobody is ever the same.
And if people want to find you to watch you
grow on Instagram. Or to watch a Ted talk, where
can they find you?
S4 (26:14):
So I can find me on Instagram at Purpose and View.
And my website is purpose. Com and my Ted talk
can be found on YouTube and it's called Blindsighted by
Anne Mok.
S3 (26:27):
Brilliant. And we will have all of the, uh, the
links to all of those things in the podcast.
S4 (26:34):
Thank you so much and thank you so much for
having me. I loved having this conversation. It's been something
that's been in my heart for a long time and
being able to share. The story and give voices to
so many. Uh, I think it's it's powerful.
S8 (26:54):
That's a wrap for this week's show. Thank you to
Anne Mok for sharing your remarkable.
S3 (26:59):
Story with us. And of course, thanks to you for
listening next week.
S2 (27:03):
While it is it is really wonderful for people to
help us out, and sometimes, yes, we do need to
be helped. Whether it's to find that seat on the
bus or to not fall off the actual bus, which
has happened to me once or twice. Have you ever
met somebody who is a little over helpful? The Boy
Scout syndrome.
S3 (27:24):
But between now and then, please do get in touch
with us. Whether you have experience of any of the
issues covered on this week's episode of Studio One, or
if you think there's something we should be talking about.
You never know. Your story and insight may help someone
who's dealing with something similar.
S2 (27:39):
You can email us Studio One. Org that's studio number
one at Vision Australia.
S3 (27:43):
Org or you can search us up on social media,
whether that be Facebook or Instagram by looking for VA
Radio Network. We want to hear from you.
S2 (27:54):
Bye for now.
S1 (27:56):
Vision Australia Radio gratefully acknowledges the support of the Community
Broadcasting Foundation for Studio One.
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