April 1, 2025 • 53 mins
Ash has found himself in a compromising position after dropping the kids off at school. Will he ever recover?
Let's face it, probably not.
Over at the Johnson household, Lola has given up her dummy addiction...or has she?! You can never be too sure with that kid.
We also answer your questions:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
M hmm. Just let me finish my paper. How is
your propper? By the way, very appily. We are not
at my house. We have yes, we are. We have
moved in the basement. We could put this in the
basement with something like this in the basement of your house.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I reckon, I can put it in the garage.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Oh, it must be nice one of the guests bedrooms.
Fucking bait me.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You can put it in the in the basement and
like maybe and you're like, you fucking read We're gonna.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Put it in one of your fifteen bedrooms. It's nice.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
We've got we've got proper cameras, we've got lights, we've
got free poppers.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Should we do this moving forward? Do you think we'll
lose the charm? Nah? I like the All we need
now is to just do some food eating as.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I've got half chicken wrap that I might start eating.
Welcome back, Twods.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I'm Maddy Jay and I'm Ash and this is a
podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is
the bad, and it is the relatable.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
And if you've come for advice, stop stop. Pull the
handbrake up. Don't do it, pull it right up. I
don't want to put any pressure on us, Ash, I
don't want to put any pressure on us.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah, I don't want TOI though, But but I don't
know what we did last week.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I don't know what happened. It was a fucking mess
of an episode. It was like the they're the best
one we had, Like the bust of the dog was
making noise, Ellie k halfway stairs, Dandal appointment.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Why was she limping if she had a saw tooth?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh no, yeah, what if she had something wrong with it?
I can't keep up anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
She definitely had no shoes on.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, poor thanks, shuffling shuffling down?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Can I can I come out of the bedroom?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It's like, shut up, get back in the wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But people like the episode.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, someone put a comment They were like, Ash, ten
out of ten, which is it's very arrogant of you.
But then they also said when I said to jet
I think I won that one.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Because you had the airplane seating plan that people sided with,
and also you did the sob story of like I.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Was like, it was you sound very jealous.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I was abused by the people who were doing the
choir auditions for Quantas.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yes, I wasn't abused, and.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
You made it sound like you were. Okay, so you
want people of it. So I don't know what we've done.
We're going to try, and.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I'm not putting pressure on us because it was chaos.
It was chaos, and but for.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Those of you who wanted to be the same as
last week, I'm.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Not going to happen. This is I've got a question
for you. Have you ever no, this is awkward.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I've got something really quick. Okay, get really quick, really
really quick. Sorry, Okay, I was doing a week just before,
now you go. I was doing a week before and
remind me. Reminded me of a conversation that we had
because I do wheeze by putting my penis above I
don't use a fly zipper. I just kind of like
(03:07):
pull my pants down and then put.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
My really over the jeans.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
It must be huge, and you think that's weird.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I do.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I look with elastic pants full on board, but you're
wearing jeans.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
R jeans, say, with a belt with a belt over
the belt. I like it. I like I'm a fly guy.
But I said, at least we're not like my old
boy who puts it below the bottom of the trousers
like the bottom of the so like, for example, you
got obviously you can't work with pants because you have
to roll those all the way out, but like I
(03:41):
can get it out there nice. You go at the
side of the leg of the short at a urinal.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, no, urinal, there's no limitations to it.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I think that's sucking. Pretty rogue. It's such an old
boy thing to do. It's pretty grab It's like it's
do you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Know where I reckon it comes from, like the generation
of ruggers, you know the ruggage.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the Low's ruggers.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I just find it's quicker. It's easier to go over
the pants than through the ziper.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, because we're talking about because I got my fella
stuck in the zip and the way you're doing it's high.
That week was a bad.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Week for my penis, I tell you right now, because
I did that and then it would rap up against
whatever I was wearing. Sorry, Jess, just sitting right.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I always your questions. I wanted to ask you. Have
you ever assumed someone is the grandparent but they're actually
the parent?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I did have, Yeah, I had someone recently. I was
watching them was at the airport. Okay, because if you spoke,
have you done it to them?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
To the no. In my head thise you and I
built very different. I was eyeing off a family. Well, okay,
that sounds real stalkery. I was at the airport. It
was I was looking.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Through the window at the car park at nighttime, had
a trench.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Coat on, and I looked and I thought, you know,
it's hard to I look at age groups that I
struggle with a newborn to two years, okay, it's hard
to decipher. Sometimes I'll throw a number out there and
I'm like, what is he six months?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
And they're like, he's two, and I'm.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I think it's a man thing because I did it
with April when she used to work in daycare and
long before I had kids. I'll be like, Aple'll be like,
how old's that kid? I don't know, like eight. She's like,
he's like four.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I was like, oh, I don't know. It's impossible to read.
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And then and then I think from the age of
I'm going to say thirty five to fifty, that's fair.
That to me, it's a bit so fair. It's hard
to decipher.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I think think, especially.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
With men I think it's harder with men because like
it could be gray and thirty.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's not a dig at you, but you know what
I mean, Like you could be like I've got friends
that are baled. How old are they eighteen? No?
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Are they're like thirty in there like my age. Yeah,
because my dad was bald at my age. Actually now
I think about it, but he used to peroxide his
hair every day.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Then he had a hard a fast track it. It's
not far off. I'm not far off.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Why did you you had a scenario?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I had a scenario.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
So I have Macy's on Thursdays and we went to
Dad such a good dad.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Thank you wow for saying that. I really needed that today.
And I just really quickly, just really quickly.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Do you ever have to say to people when you're like, oh,
I've got macy on Thursdays? Do you have to say, like,
but me and my wife are divorced.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I guess not, Like no, I just let them think
whatever they want to think, because.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Whenever I say Thursdays, we're the same. I have the
kids dad.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
There.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
But to other people, I'm like, I have her on
Thursdays because she's not in daycare and my wife and
I still together.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Nah.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
I just let them just imagine whatever they want, Okay,
especially when it's women. I'm sorry, April, Sorry, No, I
always say, yeah, it's it's it's Macy and Daddy day today.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So who'd you see where we.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Went to the went to the shops. I can't remember
what we're getting. That's not that's not usually. I'm pretty
good like that. I remember, but I don't remember. But
there's a little play it's sort of like a really
small one. You take your shoes off, padded, just like
a small little indoor playground as you would find.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
It, and you like feets, you'd love it there. I
don't like kids feet. It's like old man feet, wrinkly.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Talking about the parents parents have to do.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, you don't d robe as a parent, d row
to get I'm just gonna go de robe and playing
this playground.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
And I was like sitting there and you know how
with that small talkies where you're like there's one other
kid there playing, there's one other parent, and you're like,
how old you do? The whole it's around the motions
of like name maybe age.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I have MACI on Thursdays.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
I'm like, oh, do you have so and so so
and so on Thursdays too, like okay, so like and
assumed that they were the grandparent.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
How old at this point did you think they were?
I thought they were sixties. Okay, ITH's is really bad
for me. How old were they? Do you know? I
didn't want to ask after I assumed them already. How
did you.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
How did you suggest or did you just blatantly say
are you the grandparent?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah? First I sort of suggested did you ask that?
Because they were older? And it wasn't straight into that.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
It was like I said something along the lines of old.
I was like, oh, it's nice that you have them once,
you know, one day week, and I was sort of
like weird sort of small talk about where the parents
are or do they go to the kindergarten?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
And then I was like, oh, so you're the grandparent
and she was like no, oh my god, oh yeah.
Thankfully she was like no, no, no, no, no, she's fine,
and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, like I
didn't and then I was like, oh, may be to go,
and I like dragged her out and it ruined my
whole day because I wasn't the way way to make.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
It about you.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Then I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't sleep. I
felt horrible about it. It was just like two weeks ago,
and I still think about it every time I go
to sleep.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Imagine this poor parent being tired, exhausted. They just want
to get out of the house. They go to the playground.
They're sitting there, and then you go. So you're pretty old,
you're in a retirement village. You're a great parent, obviously, No,
I'm thirty.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yeah. And then I was like, oh, anyway, kid, let's
go drag her out. She's like, what do you mean?
I felt horrible.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I just you know, when you walk away from any
situation and you're like fuck, And I just felt horrible.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So have you've never done that? No? Okay, has anyone
done that my own? I know, I don't think.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I'm trying to think of there's a scenario where I've
been like, oh, you're pregnant, but I don't think. I
don't think what have you done? We should probably stop
you right now, we should stop. People are going to
start complaining about me. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. Have
you ever killed a kitten?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah? Actually yeah, I can bet you. No, I haven't
definitely not. I'm an animal lover. Anyway.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I felt horrible about it, but I wanted to ask
you if you don't's trump be no.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I wish I could make you feel better. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
But the fact that you have acknowledged it you made
a mistake, I think is great. I have another announcement
to make about Lola go on. We mentioned last weekend
that she is starting school. Yes, now, one thing that
she hasn't gotten rid of, which is like the remnants of.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
The poppers are good here, aren't they? We should take
what's left of them.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
So one thing that she has held on to the
remnants of being a toddler is her dummy. Oh yes,
loves her dummy and got really bad. At one point
she was having like six dummies to bed. She had
like a family of a cluster of dummies in the
bed when we went away on trips.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Say it must be nice, yep, thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
And it was a nightmare because sometimes she wanted one
particular dummy, and of the six dummies that we brought,
we missed the one that she wanted, and she wouldn't sleep,
she'd have a tantrum.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
That's your fault for having so many dummies. I won
agree you.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Get all the same color. Yes, yes, actually that's such
a good point. Any families out there who have a
child who was obsessed with dummies just by the one brand,
the one make, the one model, the one color.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Is that advice I hear?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah, okay, yeah, that's not going to harm anyone.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, that's like it's unharmful, unharmful because I made put
it in their mouth though, because then.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, also we had like good dummies, and then she
had a taste. There wasn't any other dummy other than
like a three month old dummy, like the minute dummy,
and then she kind of started liking the small dummies,
like the more potent dummy.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Teeth another one.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, And so then all the big dummies that she had,
which there was twenty of, she then hated like it
was it was a nightmare. And I will say, me
and Laura, that's on us too many options. That's our mistakes.
We did at one point try and remove the dummy.
We thought, I think it was like last year, could have.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Been there, you remembermember last year? Yeah, and you did
it for like a week.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
We got to a week and we tried to make
it a bit of a thing, like we I thinking
hunt dummy fairy with dummy fairy.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
We didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I don't think we gave her enough notice. But I
also remember when we kind of said to her like, hey,
in a couple of days, the dummy fairy is coming.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
She was like ropable.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
She was like fuck that absolutely not I'm not ready,
and we were like no. I don't know how we
decided the date. It was just like on a I
think we also did it on like a Monday as well,
which is just like the start of your work week.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
All the nightmare I remember it was a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Screaming, you know, just hours every night. It was painful.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
But she's not a thumbsucker? Is she doesn't know it?
Like a thumb. That's Marley was doing the thumb.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, she's a thumbsucker. And then after almost a week
we gave up. I recall right, so you try again,
try it again. We gave her lots of notice, telling
her for a while that.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
This is her last birthday.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Literally we went before, we've been planning the seed. And
then we gave her like we're written down, like we
have ten more sleeps, ten more sleeps with the dummy
and she kind of was on board.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
She's matured a lot. Was humoring you.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No, she was like she was kind of like, Okay,
like I get it.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Did it do Doesn't it change the shape of their mande?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah? Her teeth if she bites down, her front teeth
are like really they don't touch, like a gap between.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah. Because I met a kid in Bali or a
parent that didn't meet a kid, well, fucking I really
incriminated myself in this episode. Already.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I met a mom who she was with her kids
swimming with Macey and she and I had noticed that,
like he had like his teeth didn't want it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
And my wife April goes, yeah, that's from a dummy.
I didn't. I hadn't noticed it with Lola though.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
They kind of say from the age of four, like
it from three it should be dummies gold because it
completely fucks their teeth up. And then by four and
again not advice. I read this somewhere online, I think
from for it creates permanent damage to the teeth.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
So Laura and I were kind of like, fuck, we've
got to We've got to do something here. But luckily
she was on board with the ten Days nine days.
She kind of she got it. She got it. She
was like, she was very understanding. She's turned a corner
the last few months where she now has this like
she's grown up. Yeah, she's grown up a lot.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
But did you show a picture of deformed teeth? Like
this is what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I was away for work on Monday. Must be nice, okay.
And that happened to be the end of the ten
days where it was first night, so I wasn't there early.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Did you go to the airport and what time was
your actual life? I was on time. So many people
were hating us for that. I know.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Also a few people were like, do the same thing,
and I'm like everyone does that, and shit, everyone sits
in the April.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, I reckon April does it. She's like, oh my
gym classes at five point thirty. It's like bullshit. She's
just hanging out the car half doom scroll people.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, they parked the car around the want before going
to the garage because I want to wait till the
kids are asleep.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
We will do it.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
I have to come back to that one. I have
never done that.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
So we were like, Lola, time is up. We got
to hand over the dummies. Dummy Fairy is coming, Dummy
Fairy is coming tonight, and she was like.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I get it, I get it. Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
It was like someone who had been on the run
for the police and then they finally got caught and
instead of running, they just went.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
You know what, they're exhausted from running. You've got me
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
It's done.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yes, I wasn't there. I was away for work, being
an absent father earning money.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Right, that's fair enough. Let me just justify that even
if you weren't, I think it's fair. Thank you, Break,
You're a good dad.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Laura sent me through a video of the final moments
before she was handing over the dummies because the dummy
Fairy was coming that evening. I've sent you that video
ashes on your phone?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Is that what? You just don't want to have a
little watch.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
At Lola finally saying goodbye to her dummies for the
last time.
Speaker 6 (17:01):
What are you doing, Donal, because I'm a key so
far chock, Hey, Lola, who's coming tonight? Are you ready
to say bye bye bye bye dunnies.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
She's definitely got some hidden somewhere that you don't know.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
That you, reckon, she's playing the game with you. Also,
Molly looks super cute school uniform.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Thank you very much, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Do you think she's.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Just being like she's taking it like a chance.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
She's been so mature about.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
It, I know, Lola, and she's manipulated you and gas
lighted near that.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I reckon, she's got some hidden somewhere. Oh my fucking
it's worth it. Snoop, don't say anything, just snoop around
and just see because she's given them up way too.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
She's been great night one night too, couple little tears
but like nothing big, no big candies got ya and
like where Laura and I going, My god, She's like,
this has been a breeze. What have we done differently?
Maybe it's the fact that she's more but we just
have to wait till the right time.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
But she even said, we put it to bed the
other night and she goes, do you know what I
really feel like right now?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
And we're like, what's that. She's like, she's like a
Winny Reds, just a little dummy.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And we're like we're like, sorry, honey, you know the
dummy fairies come and she goes.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I get it. That's fun.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Anyway, better be off to bed, love you guys.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Don't come in.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Reckon, she's got your mate, I reckon, she's Look if not,
if I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong. If I'm wrong,
that's great. Is mature, and that is instant matured. But
you know what child we're talking about, right, because I.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Was going to sit here and say, again, not advice,
but any parents out there who may be removing the dummy,
and if you really get a sense that your child
is not right, just wait it out, wait.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Till they've figured it out how to trick you.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, yeah, I reckon. We're talking about.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
There was at least forty dummies scattered throughout the house. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I would do a deep dive into that bedroom to
see maybe you could bribe Mali into be.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Like because they share the bedroom, be like, be fucking honest.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I reckon, Look like I said, If not, that's that's
a huge turner. We're talking about like Lola, where she
can love you one second and she's like get off me. Yeah,
because what she sucks you in and then you're like
come give me countries.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Like oh no, run away, I'll keep you posted, keep
me posted on that. What else you got for me?
But what else forgot for Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:56):
I was caught with my pants down, literally bar incrementing
yourself as no, no, yeah, no, no, no, I'll paint your picture.
Let me paint you and the listeners of picture. Because
this is an audio medium, not a visual medium. Please
just not sure if you knew that.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So, my bathroom is one of those bathrooms where the
toilet is separate from the main bathroom. It's in a
separate room.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Which I like, do yeah, because it's very you know,
you stink it up. Someone has to brush their teeth.
There's nothing worse than brushing your.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Teeth, That's true. Make a good point. So the point
I was always like, look, it's a waste of a room.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
But anyway, and then the adjacent door bathroom door. Here
is the laundry. Yes, and that's where the storage is.
For anything bathroom laundry related not important, but thank you,
it is important. It is important to the story. And
the one of the best things about having kids, Matt
is when you run in a toilet paper and you go,
(20:52):
Marley or Oscar, can you get me some toilet paper?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Run errands for you?
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Yeah, but no one was home, right, So I've had
to go in search of toilet paper that's in the laundry.
So I've opened up the door, pants down, pants a down,
my ankles, bum pooy.
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Bum, shuffling down the hallway doing the shuffle. Yeah it's
not down, just to the right. If you listen to
the start of the story, I apologize. I went in
there because that's where the toilet is kept. Now the
next door neighbors are currently having their roof redone.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Okay, this is a layer that I wasn't expecting, thank you,
a layer of shit you won't expecting anyway.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
So and also, my laundry door is clear like your
front door. Yeah, completely see through, right, And it just
so happens that the toilet paper is actually on the
lower part of the cupboard in the laundry. And I've
come in, I've shuffled in, I've bent down grabbed a
couple of rolls of toilet paper because I just want
(21:53):
to get don't want to get one, don't want to
be selfish for the next person stood up, turned.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Around and there is three trade's on the roof with
who's just had a clear shot of my pooey asshole.
Oh my god. And all I could do at the time,
all I could think of was just a cheeky thumbs up,
(22:19):
tucked the toilet paper under my chin and shuffled back
to the toilet.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Did you give him a thumbs up? Did you get
one back?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
It was just shock. That was just like.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
It was like seven in the morning or something like that.
I'm ridiculous like that. Anyway, I don't want a story toffee, No,
do it please? Because that was like that was great.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
That's classic. That's a classic embarrassment. My front door it
is see through.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
So Lola was up pretty early and she was like, hey, everybody,
come and look how nice the sunrise is. Because sunrise
is about like six o'clock at the show or this.
You're better than that. She was like, come see the sunrise.
It's beautiful. And it was beautiful.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
It was like a magenta and it would rise like
your door faces southeast beautiful, beautiful for the sunrise.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
And ocean views. I was in huh ocean views.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Speaking for highlighting. I was in my undies and normally
no one's really at that time. Lola was like standing
on the garage. I then came out to then, because
you know, you have you just have to keep the
kids happy. And then I stood out there and I
was looking, and then the neighbor was getting in his
car across the road. He looked, was kind of like
(23:37):
about to look. So I was like, fuck. I went
to turn around to go back inside. The door had
shut behind me, so I just turned around, like, fucking
bomb you face playing. All that was now shut and.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
You would have had those white little undies onto with
the ship stayed down the bag.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But also, when you get to our Josh.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
I'm no, I'm not falling into our age. I'm still
early thirties.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Like my year old. You're old.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
When you get to you've like you've got bad knees,
bad hips. When you get to our age and you
got kids, you don't really care about being seen naked
as much as when you're like.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, in fact, let's get naked right now, Jesus, like
please fucking.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Don't hey, just really quickly. You may have seen recently
I was at movie World. Oh yeah, actually movie World.
I'm going to go, oh, when was the last time
you're at movie World?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Oh? Fifteen years ago?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Okay, good, because I can just help you out here.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Don't go.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
No, it's great. Okay, it's great. It's sick. It's sick,
like I didn't think sick. It was fully sick. Double
Shuckers loved it. Yeah, they were like, holy shit, this
is unbelievable. You know, going down that main strip where
all the characters are and did I have the Batmobile?
Still had the Batmobile. It's different. The Batmobile has changed.
(25:06):
It was not Do you remember the Batmobile was like
with Jim Carrey as the Joker. Yeah, that one's not there.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's not there. What is it now? Like a Lambeau or.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Something pretty like it's souped up just slut slutty.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Batmo by You need to.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Talk about the batmobial like that? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Is it like a Lambo or some shit like that.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
It's like cool, it's like a souped up like GT for.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
It's a superw Rex.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Yeah, it's cool. I Maii went on a first roller coaster,
which is a great experience. Which one it was a
Looming Tunes one, okay, Luny Tunes one.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Is she old enough? How old? Yeah? It's high.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
You have to go through and there's like if they're
over a meter but under one ten. They can go
on these like bigger rides, but you have to go
with an adult. They can't go by themselves.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
What do you like with rides? I used to love it.
I used to love it.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I get pretty motion sickness now, like my my tummy
gets a bit unsettled.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Jess's comments are slowly making sense. You're showing your age.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Boys. I get motion signs. I get motion signess on
a swing, dude.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I remember, like when I was a teenager going on
one of the rollercoasters, like hold on and going on
like five times in a row at the end of
the day when it was pretty quiet, and just loving it.
Looney Tunes like there's no loop to loop, there's none
of that stuff because it's for kids, right, but still
like it's you know, it's you're moving a lot shaking.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
And the G force. There's a lot of there's a
lot of g forces.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
But Marley, she didn't really look at it going She
just she was like, I just want to let's do this.
And I was like, are you sure, and she was
like fuck yeah, And I was like case. We lined up,
we got there and were we had the option. We're
at the front of the queue. Gate open, we could
grab our seats and I was like, do you want
to go on the front and she was like heck,
yeah yeah, And I was like ah, and she was
(26:58):
like see sick. And then you were going up the start.
We kind of go really high, and I was like,
she's about to get real kid.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Okay. I was sorry, I keep sliding down. You're like
on the floor. Make yourself at home. I slug sorry.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And then as soon as we like you kicked off.
Fucking loved it. She wanted to go back to back.
How could I couldn't because I was queasy.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Kids kids have got no fear.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I think, well, Lola was petrified.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
She wouldn't like trying to get it go on in
the Merry go round. She was like it was just
like slowly tilting. She was like, stop, get sickness on
just a swing.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Do you remember those little cars, I don't even know,
little cars that you sit on top of the cars
and they like they like a dodgery car. Yeah, but
you only go it's like a track.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
It's like, yeah, okay, you know you.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Can't you're at most ten k's an hour. Lola was
like almost went on those ones and she freaked out
last minute. So what did she do all day? We went,
We went to the live action like used to be
the Police Academy show.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah, Lola was like, this is too loud. It's very loud.
Have you seen them behind the scenes of that. That's sick.
It is, it's sick, sick.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
But one thing I noticed again this is I just
want to manage your expectations.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I remember being there.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
As a kid and it being enormous, like it took
the whole day to explore everything.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Is that not the case? It's shrunk. Do I think
you've gotten bigger? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Thank you a fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Ouch that hurts. But so what what do you mean?
What do you mean you've got Yeah, it's like you
know when you're in primary school and you see the
high school kauds, like fuck, they're huge, And now you
look at the primary school the high school kids and
you're like, I'll take I probably still couldn't, but it's like, yeah, yeah,
I get it. But like it to Lola and Marley,
(29:03):
it is huge. Absolutely, So it's shrunk. It's small. Yeah,
it was weak. They just got one strip, the one strip.
Have you ever been to Disneyland? No, you'd never been
to a Disneyland before. Oh all right, money bags.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
No, I went to Disneyland in Paris after we had
caveat for breakfast and we spoke at the French last
the other half live.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yes, before kids. Actually we found out we were pregnant
a week before we had to go, so we couldn't
go on any fucking right. Need your last story.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
But that's again, okay, thank you, thanks Oscar. Anyway, Um, yeah,
we're gonna go because we're going to the Goldie next
month for Easter.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
What was was a Disneyland story. It's huge. Okay, so
I think it's great.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
It was great, but yeah, just be prepared for the
fact that your memory of it will be so different.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
To you going there as an adult. I've just received
a message, Oscar. He has placed ninth in cross country.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
His shoe fell off. I didn't know that he had
to run a kilometer dude, this morning.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I didn't think they let kids that age.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yeah, cross country April. It was really sad because there's
so many kids running and crying.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I'm pretty sure when my kids go to school, they're
not allowed till grade three to do cross country.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Apparently the grade three kids were the most upset. April
was like Oscar loved it is. Shoe just fell off.
And we've been practicing not not can I just not
the running part.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't want to. We've been practicing the what to
do if you win or if you lose, which is
shake everyone's hands. A good race regardless. I'm a good dad,
such a good dad. Thank you. Did he have the
bel grows shoes or a lace up? They were? They
were the lay with the velcove so that you don't
actually do. They were like the ship. It's still she
(31:03):
came off, come flying off. Apparently he made run. He
was hitting it with pace. So I'll let you gether.
I'll let you have that one. I get out of
how many kids? Nine? No, I think there's like ninety
kids in there. Ninety kids. He's got like four full classes.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Ninety kids. Holy shit, that would have been carnage. Yeah,
did ninety kids run it?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Yeh, that's just in their grade. Kids that they lose.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Eighty one of them was the last one that I'm
surprised he came ninth.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
He's been he's been really like trained for.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
It, a little bit like just like running, get you
down to be here four hundred times. No, but he
a kilometer. Yeah, he was pumped for it. Apparently he
was really stoked with the top ten, top ten, top ten.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Well, especially if you you know shoeless.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You were a fast kid, I've been told growing up.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I was quick over short distances. You're a sprinting not
a marathon runner.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, in my heat, I look forward to the next
athletics day where we can see Oscar in his pet
event one hundred.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Would Mary your school do athletics at that age or not?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Good question? Glad you asked. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
You should find it. What about swimming carnival? Masy swim
on her own? What is going on kids growing up?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Anyway?
Speaker 5 (32:21):
Moving on, time for lights, Tell me Love, tell me
little live Matt.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Would you like to go first? To go first? Okay?
This one's from Crystal. Crystal congratulations.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
So if you lie does get read out, you do
get the choice of either a Maddie j or an
ash stuffed toy.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I did see that the last few that went out
were actually ash toys.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, how does that make you feel? Yeah, the nervous
little voice. This one's from Crystal.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
My daughter think that the TV remote works better if
she's extra polite when asking for a shot.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I've actually got ash a recording of a lie.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Oh this is new yeah hotline.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, guess who it is? Coming back with another big lie?
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Donner and more.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Guess we had a big lie last week gang busteres
on Social.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
We Go.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
So Nana Ellie told the lie about the PlayStation rented.
We actually owned it. This morning, I said, you wouldn't
believe it. NA one point six million views that video
has and she was pumped.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Oh, she'd be fro no wonder she's asking fucking cruise
lines for work.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
And people in the comments were like, who is this?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Genius is? Who's Ellie?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
And we want more? So this is another lie that
we have from Ellie.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
God. I hope it does as well second time round.
Speaker 8 (34:00):
The PlayStation wasn't the only thing I lied about. You
were too young. But the other two were being silly
in the lounge and they knocked the television and it smashed.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I said, that's it.
Speaker 8 (34:13):
We don't have a television now and I'm not replacing it.
But I did replace it with a small television that
I kept in my wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
When you've gone to bed.
Speaker 8 (34:26):
I went to my room and I could turn it
on and watch what I wanted to watch. And you
just thought you didn't have a television.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
She's a fucking genius. Oh how much does she have
in the vall? She's a cruel mistress, she is. That's
the equival of like, yeah, she's just gone off to
her room to sneakily watch TV without you.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
That's a lot of work though, having to put the
little TV back up.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I mean it all makes you think what else she
was hiding from you?
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah? So each week I'm just going to pull into
a lie out of Ellie and bring out some childhood trauma.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Does she want a stuffed ash doll? She deserves?
Speaker 4 (35:10):
That is good year, She's very good. I've got another one, Matt.
This one's from Jazz Mim also winner this week. Husband
came home drunk one night, had a boy and said
he drank too much juice and now kids are afraid
to drink the old drunk on apple juice trick. I've
heard that before. That's good. What else you got for me?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I go on?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
This is from Treaty Treaty tricky names this week.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
That's what I'm saying tricky. I don't want to name Shane.
I don't want to name Shamee. But when are we
going to get the Luke James BOMBI bloke Okay from Tretty.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
It says I told my toddler that if they pressed
the elevator button too many times, the elevator will get
dizzy and refuse used to take anyone up.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
It's like when I was a kid and my parents
would be like, don't press the crossing the street thing
what they call it?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Fucking heal?
Speaker 4 (36:09):
No, no, no, no, the one with the button the
traffic light crossing?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
What do you call that traffic light?
Speaker 4 (36:14):
There's got to be a simpler name than that. I
feel like I'm tripping over that, Like the traffic light crossing.
You don't press it too many times. Every time you
press it charges you. No, no, it charges you like
fifteen cents, and then they send you a bill.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
So she like, just press it once. Who told you that?
My mum? No, my nan with all the spoons, yeah yeah,
with the spoon trine. Do you believe it? Yeah, I
still believe it. I press it once. I've just worked
out that I'm an idiot. Okay, I love it. List
of questions, Listen to questions. Do you want to start this?
(36:48):
You start?
Speaker 4 (36:49):
You start? Okay about this? One's from anonymous Strange Names
this week.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Mum of a one.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Year old Here, huge fight with my partner last night.
He says we spend no time together, our relationship is
non existent, and we no longer have fun. He's not
wrong in some ways, we've both been focusing on getting
back to ourselves after becoming parents, or so, I thought.
Do you have any rituals for spending time with your past?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Rituals? Sex, I'm a child. I'm just a child first
and foremost. Go on.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I think it is very natural as parents, with any
number of children, that you have periods where you feel
a bit disconnected from your partners.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
A roommate like a roommate phase. Do you know how
old the kids are? No, that's one year old? Did
you say one year old? Yes? Fuck like dude? Can
you remember how hard it was with a one year old? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Do you know what I forgot? I had to do
disinfect like the teats of Bob?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Do you remember that ship? I didn't know?
Speaker 8 (38:03):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Not by hand? Did you put in one of those
things and checked in the microwave. You're putting plastic in
the microwave. No, they go in like a special. They
go in a special. Parents will back me up. I
swear to God. Google it. It's like a It's like
a container. You put a little bit of water and
it's sterilize. You chuck it in the microwave and it
peats up and its sterilized. It like boiling water.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Microplastics. Does that mean anything to you?
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Obviously not, bro. My kids are just full of microplastics.
They're gonna get their blood filleded one day, so I
shouldn't attack I mean attacking you this day. Yeah, but
I appreciate it. I have keeps me on my toes.
I've acknowledged it.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
So for first and foremost continue one year old.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
It's like that is that you're in the eye of
the storm. That is a tricky position to be in.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
I think it's there coming out of the trickiest position.
You know what I mean, because that's what you're saying. Yeah,
like that that age.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yes, don't get me wrong, Still tricky and for some
it's trickier.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
That whole leading up to one. No wonder you're not
fucking hanging out with each other you probably hate each.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Other everyone on the surface, Yes, did everyone with a
one year old. Every couple hates each other at that
period of life, and.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
If they don't, they're fucking lying. No one is thriving.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
You may thrive for the blink of an eye, but
then the majority of the time you're just trying to
stay alive. You just get your head above water. That's
the reality. I think anyone who was like, oh wow,
I don't really have, like my relationship is not cranking
with one year old, I'm like, it should that shouldn't.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
It shouldn't be cranking. If it's cranking, that kid's being neglected.
It's hungry, all.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Right, keep controld alive. I think also, and we say
we're not going to give it any advice, but we're
both married, we both have two kids. I think we're both.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
In a position we could give a little bit of
advice that has worked potentially for us.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I'm ready for it. Give yourselves a fucking break. Actually, sorry, continue, shut.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
You up, don't go so hard on yourselves, and don't
put too much pressure.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
There's so much time for you to get that back.
Is that they am I wrong? Yes? Go on, Okay,
put more pressure on yourself.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Is that what you're saying, Get get ready, give the
mom a break. Okay, yes, okay, Because I I I
was was shit with.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
A one year old.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I was still in that mindset of like, oh, mom's
got it, you know, because newborn's up until three four months,
Mum and newborn, they are attached at the hip slash
boob and.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
One year old.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
There were one year old is when dads like that
can really start taking on a lot more so. I
think I think it's hard to think about being sexy
and romantic and wanting to have all that type of
business going on when you know the house is a
mess and you're trying to deal with a little child.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
So my best advice is.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Any dad's out there who think my relationship is not
being prioritized, just like clean that house, dude, take a
day off work, call and sink to work, and just
like clean the house, do the washing, mop the vacuum,
mop the floor.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
A little bit of your player is going to go
a long way.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Please refer to the two thousand and twenty three calendar
that we did plugg.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Very much out of date. That's my advice.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
I think that's that's pretty solid, but I would just
attack on the top of that that if you are mum,
don't try and force that advice onto them, because it
could you know what I.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Mean, Like if you're like, why don't you clean the
house anymore? It might make it worse.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Don't you know fucking talent to clean the house?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Are you going with your going with full?
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Tell them I think by what I like what you
said was then if your dad right, just just go
and do it?
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Yes, yes, yes, I like that. Be proactive, be there
he is.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
That's to hear because it's it's like for me personally,
if I would prefer to be proactive and do those
sort of things, then to be told go and do it,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
No one enjoys a gift they asked for, not that
doing exactly what.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
You're just full of good words right now. I'm not
going to stop it. You got the apple juice? It
was the apple juice out of date? Okay, question for
you again.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
Don't put too much pressure on the relationship, right yes,
because no one is. I know, we joke, we laugh.
Everyone fucking hates each other at that stage.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Life with a two year old is a lot better
than life for the one year old.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah, for sure, they're given back way more.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Give me a toddler any day of the week. Newborns
question for you, Ash go, This is from Okay, not important.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Oh that's not fair. No, it's not important. We're sick
of names today.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Actually this one, this one came from producer Jass.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
The Facebook group got a great response. Do you mean
just with no kids? Yeah? Okay, I'm asking the question
now to you, Ash.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Have a sip your popper, very good, Yeah, get that
juice in you because it's it's like gasoline. What are
your top three kids shows that aren't annoying to watch
as an adult?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Good question.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Let's start with number three down the bottom.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
Okay, number three down the bottom is a show called Little.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Lunch, sort of like a primary school mockumentary.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I have seen that. It's interesting.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
It's sort of like similar to like The Office, but
the kids, kids, kids love it, love it.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
And do you know what it's a And we're just
going to give some more advice here. If your kid's
going to start school, get them onto that show because.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
It really does really hangs the picture of what school life.
Speaker 4 (43:51):
And anyone that has said because you'd go through, and
you'd be going through the same thing when you're talking
to parents in the same class or same grade as
your kid.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Now, how's Marlin going? Like has she adjusting? And it's
like either you know, good or a couple of days
for you're bad or blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
During those first couple of weeks, people were like, how's
Oscar and like April would be like, yeah, yeah, good,
and they're like, oh, look, you know Parry or Billy
or whatever it is struggling a little bit, and it
was like, do you know what my kid's froth?
Speaker 1 (44:16):
It really helped Oscar is Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Great characters, great writing, scripting, and that is lah very good.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
My number three is I'm going to go with play
School a classic?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Is it because you've been on Play School?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
No, don't be okay, don't be like at all? Why
would you even suggest.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
I'm going to be on PLA what? No, not made
that up? See that? See that? Se see that? Did
you see that? And that's going to be on camera too?
There he is. I think I agree with you.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
I think like it's one of the bit more bearable
nursery rhymes sort.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Of great show, beautiful, love it plenty when.
Speaker 4 (44:52):
You're on it, turn it straight off. Didn't you read
a book to Buster or you just had Buster.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
And you read I've read many books. Ash, it's been nice.
Speaker 4 (45:01):
No.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
My number two is a sung songs. You don't sing
around me?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
No, No, but this is not about me, isn't it.
I can't remember the all.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Three of these shows, the shows you've been on. My
next one is have you seen It's unbearable?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Okay? My number two, my NU two a show called
zig and Shark? Wow? What's that? And I'm just going
to preface.
Speaker 4 (45:32):
This really quickly with saying I'm a real big fan
of shows that there's no character talk like ping very
much like pingu talking in kids shows is so fucking annoying,
like coca melon?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Fuck me, what's your So it seems to be it
seems to be.
Speaker 4 (45:48):
It's like a little beaver sort of thing and starfish
Ziggy and zig and Shark.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Okay, so picture this cartoons an I made it. It
is a small bee like character.
Speaker 4 (46:01):
I'm not specific on what animal that is, sure, and
a shark and that's sort of like a Tom and
Jerry situation where one's after the other at some point.
Each episode might be a little bit different, but it's
always set on a cruise ship. It's really weird and specific,
but it's sort of a bit goes back to like
ren and stimpy, sort of remember that, like that sort
(46:24):
of animation.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
I love that. I'm going to you're selling it to
me and I like it.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Number two for me, I'm going Blue.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
What's up for? I think Nick Cody put it really
simply go on.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
He's like, there or everyone gets so self obsessed with
how they parent based off the parents on Bluey And
then he says, that's because they're seven minute episodes. You
could be a good parent for seven minutes. So I
think I like the premise of that every Blue episode
can be for.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
An adult as well, and I like it.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
There can put your heart strings a bit, but I
think too many of them, I start to feel like
my parenting shit fair because they are They're always end
up being such good parents in it.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Can't they shit the bed once or twice? Like they
are dogs?
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Like if the creators of Bluies are watching this or
listening to this, please.
Speaker 4 (47:20):
They've got those mini episodes, they're already seven minutes. Now,
I've got to see parents be very good parents for
the last minutes. I love it, don't I don't love it,
love it, but I don't not like watching number one.
Number one is a show once again no talking. It's
called Mighty Beam.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
I've not heard of this one, so it's like a similar.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
It's it's a bit more animated opposed to like cartoon.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
That makes sense.
Speaker 4 (47:46):
So when I say animated, like say Shrek animated, right, right,
A bit more like that, but same thing.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
There's no talking.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
It's just a lot of like it's about a small child, yep, baby.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
I think it's set in like India or something like that.
It's very enxotic, very exotic. The child has like super strength, right,
and it sort of gets itself into all sorts of
situations without any talking. It's all like music and emotion.
But it's like one of those ones you can just
pop on and you can just sit there and the
kids love it and it doesn't annoy the fuck out
of me.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
I'll have to check it out. My number one is let.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Me just blewie, wasn't your number one? I'm intrigued, Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
I watched this one back in the day through my
sister her kids used to love this show. My girls
have just started watching it.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Come on, So if it's around from when we are,
I'm gonna know it surely.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Nor my sister's kids, who are like, oh yeah, eldest
is now like eight or nine, so now outgrown this show.
But my kids now started watching it.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
They love it. I also love it.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
It's called Katie's Amazing Machines.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Never heard of it, dude, do you tell it? Sell it?
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Do yourself a favorite Katie.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
If you if you're pitching it to me, I'm going
to invest in it, give it to me.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Okay, Katie is obsult, please moving on. I'm pretty sure
her main job is she's like a rally car.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Driver, Lady of the Night. She's a rally car driver.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
She's like a professional race car driver, and she goes
around each episode she just checks out these awesome machines
that move so like speedboats, motorbikes, like excavators, and she
just drives them.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Is it animated?
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Katie's a real dry, like a blippy yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Yeah, but she's but she's cool. She's just like, hey,
what's up.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
I like to drive things and like go fast, So
what are we checking out today?
Speaker 1 (49:36):
A speed note, send me the link to this because
Oscar will for all absolutely.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
And then she talks about like how that machine, how
that bit of equipment works, like an excavator. She'd be like,
let's see how fast it goes, and she gets pretty slow,
but it can do this and like digs holes.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Oh my god. So, yeah, is it on? What's it on?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
I'll watch it on ABC Kids. But then as well,
she'll also have someone who's an expert. So if she's said,
like a motorbike, I have a motor byclist, well said
thank you, and he'll do wheelies and she'd be like
that's so cool, and he'll try and teach her something.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
But she's very good. She can drive anything that's correct,
like a bomb. You can drive anything anything. I've not
seen it. There's no aeroplane. I've seen a fly. Shut up, Yeah,
send it over. I want to. I want to show
Oscar because we're going to be Katie's amazing. What are
your thoughts on Blippy? Yeah, he's a bit much. Do
you know the origin story of Blippy? You don't know
the origin story. I think we've spoken about this for jest.
Speaker 4 (50:29):
He shout his bed, and yeah, no, no, no, didn't
shoot his bad You know that trend, the Harlem shake
where it would cut to like them dancing crazy?
Speaker 1 (50:38):
He diar read on his friend's face. That's how it's
not true. It is true, It is true, It is true.
Show me that it is true, Jessica, get that up right.
This is before Blippy before.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
I don't want to hear you guys talk about Blippy
in this way without giving some kind of evidence it is.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
It is factual. I'm giving you fat can we do?
Speaker 2 (50:58):
I don't need lawyers in our case. This is defamation
in the highest regard.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
We shouldn't have shot on his mate's face, and I
wouldn't have.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
To fame him after this record finding the footage, I
will find you. If anyone else has this footage, please
send it to us.
Speaker 4 (51:10):
If anyone else has any TV suggestions that's not going
to drive a parent crazy.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Please let us know absolutely any lies, any questions, you
may always always send them to us.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
Our door is open. It is always open. Ash T shirts.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
You're wearing a great T shirt? By the way, are
you just thank you T shirt? Is it called the
smelly Nappy T shirt? They are on our website. Two
doting dads dot Com. They're forty five bucks if you
want them. Honestly, I mean this when I say there's
not many left.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Say that every week about everything must go well.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
I just don't want people to be disappointed. We only
have a couple remaining, okay them.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
By the time this comes out, there may not be
any left. So do yourself a favor. If you're thinking
about it, grab a T shirt yourself. Don't be disappointed.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Don't be disappointed. Yeah with the shirt. We they're all
sold out. Yeah, exactly what have I got?
Speaker 4 (52:07):
If you've enjoyed this episode, please give us a review,
five stars, little comment.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Join us on socials.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
We're at Two Doting Dads, TikTok, Instagram, the Facebook group.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
Also Send it to a friend.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Send this episode to somebody out there you think needs
a relatable laugh about parenting. Agreed, spread the word spread,
Spread it like a disease.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Oh, I read it like herpes. And on that we're
getting it off track. We will go, We will leave
and spread our own herpes. Goodbye, Goodbye.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 4 (52:52):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island
a people's today,
M hmm. Just let me finish my paper. How is
your propper? By the way, very appily. We are not
at my house. We have yes, we are. We have
moved in the basement. We could put this in the
basement with something like this in the basement of your house.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I reckon, I can put it in the garage.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Oh, it must be nice one of the guests bedrooms.
Fucking bait me.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
You can put it in the in the basement and
like maybe and you're like, you fucking read We're gonna.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Put it in one of your fifteen bedrooms. It's nice.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
We've got we've got proper cameras, we've got lights, we've
got free poppers.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Should we do this moving forward? Do you think we'll
lose the charm? Nah? I like the All we need
now is to just do some food eating as.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I've got half chicken wrap that I might start eating.
Welcome back, Twods.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I'm Maddy Jay and I'm Ash and this is a
podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is
the bad, and it is the relatable.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
And if you've come for advice, stop stop. Pull the
handbrake up. Don't do it, pull it right up. I
don't want to put any pressure on us, Ash, I
don't want to put any pressure on us.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Yeah, I don't want TOI though, But but I don't
know what we did last week.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I don't know what happened. It was a fucking mess
of an episode. It was like the they're the best
one we had, Like the bust of the dog was
making noise, Ellie k halfway stairs, Dandal appointment.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Why was she limping if she had a saw tooth?
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh no, yeah, what if she had something wrong with it?
I can't keep up anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
She definitely had no shoes on.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yeah, poor thanks, shuffling shuffling down?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Can I can I come out of the bedroom?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
It's like, shut up, get back in the wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
But people like the episode.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
Yeah, someone put a comment They were like, Ash, ten
out of ten, which is it's very arrogant of you.
But then they also said when I said to jet
I think I won that one.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Because you had the airplane seating plan that people sided with,
and also you did the sob story of like I.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Was like, it was you sound very jealous.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
I was abused by the people who were doing the
choir auditions for Quantas.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yes, I wasn't abused, and.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
You made it sound like you were. Okay, so you
want people of it. So I don't know what we've done.
We're going to try, and.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I'm not putting pressure on us because it was chaos.
It was chaos, and but for.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Those of you who wanted to be the same as
last week, I'm.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Not going to happen. This is I've got a question
for you. Have you ever no, this is awkward.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I've got something really quick. Okay, get really quick, really
really quick. Sorry, Okay, I was doing a week just before,
now you go. I was doing a week before and
remind me. Reminded me of a conversation that we had
because I do wheeze by putting my penis above I
don't use a fly zipper. I just kind of like
(03:07):
pull my pants down and then put.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
My really over the jeans.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
It must be huge, and you think that's weird.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
I do.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
I look with elastic pants full on board, but you're
wearing jeans.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
R jeans, say, with a belt with a belt over
the belt. I like it. I like I'm a fly guy.
But I said, at least we're not like my old
boy who puts it below the bottom of the trousers
like the bottom of the so like, for example, you
got obviously you can't work with pants because you have
to roll those all the way out, but like I
(03:41):
can get it out there nice. You go at the
side of the leg of the short at a urinal.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, no, urinal, there's no limitations to it.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I think that's sucking. Pretty rogue. It's such an old
boy thing to do. It's pretty grab It's like it's
do you.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Know where I reckon it comes from, like the generation
of ruggers, you know the ruggage.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the Low's ruggers.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
I just find it's quicker. It's easier to go over
the pants than through the ziper.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, because we're talking about because I got my fella
stuck in the zip and the way you're doing it's high.
That week was a bad.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Week for my penis, I tell you right now, because
I did that and then it would rap up against
whatever I was wearing. Sorry, Jess, just sitting right.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I always your questions. I wanted to ask you. Have
you ever assumed someone is the grandparent but they're actually
the parent?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I did have, Yeah, I had someone recently. I was
watching them was at the airport. Okay, because if you spoke,
have you done it to them?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
To the no. In my head thise you and I
built very different. I was eyeing off a family. Well, okay,
that sounds real stalkery. I was at the airport. It
was I was looking.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Through the window at the car park at nighttime, had
a trench.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Coat on, and I looked and I thought, you know,
it's hard to I look at age groups that I
struggle with a newborn to two years, okay, it's hard
to decipher. Sometimes I'll throw a number out there and
I'm like, what is he six months?
Speaker 1 (05:23):
And they're like, he's two, and I'm.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
I think it's a man thing because I did it
with April when she used to work in daycare and
long before I had kids. I'll be like, Aple'll be like,
how old's that kid? I don't know, like eight. She's like,
he's like four.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
I was like, oh, I don't know. It's impossible to read.
It's hard.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
And then and then I think from the age of
I'm going to say thirty five to fifty, that's fair.
That to me, it's a bit so fair. It's hard
to decipher.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I think think, especially.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
With men I think it's harder with men because like
it could be gray and thirty.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
That's not a dig at you, but you know what
I mean, Like you could be like I've got friends
that are baled. How old are they eighteen? No?
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Are they're like thirty in there like my age. Yeah,
because my dad was bald at my age. Actually now
I think about it, but he used to peroxide his
hair every day.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Then he had a hard a fast track it. It's
not far off. I'm not far off.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Why did you you had a scenario?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I had a scenario.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
So I have Macy's on Thursdays and we went to
Dad such a good dad.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Thank you wow for saying that. I really needed that today.
And I just really quickly, just really quickly.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Do you ever have to say to people when you're like, oh,
I've got macy on Thursdays? Do you have to say, like,
but me and my wife are divorced.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I guess not, Like no, I just let them think
whatever they want to think, because.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Whenever I say Thursdays, we're the same. I have the
kids dad.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
There.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
But to other people, I'm like, I have her on
Thursdays because she's not in daycare and my wife and
I still together.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Nah.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
I just let them just imagine whatever they want, Okay,
especially when it's women. I'm sorry, April, Sorry, No, I
always say, yeah, it's it's it's Macy and Daddy day today.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
So who'd you see where we.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Went to the went to the shops. I can't remember
what we're getting. That's not that's not usually. I'm pretty
good like that. I remember, but I don't remember. But
there's a little play it's sort of like a really
small one. You take your shoes off, padded, just like
a small little indoor playground as you would find.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
It, and you like feets, you'd love it there. I
don't like kids feet. It's like old man feet, wrinkly.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Talking about the parents parents have to do.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
No, you don't d robe as a parent, d row
to get I'm just gonna go de robe and playing
this playground.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
And I was like sitting there and you know how
with that small talkies where you're like there's one other
kid there playing, there's one other parent, and you're like,
how old you do? The whole it's around the motions
of like name maybe age.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I have MACI on Thursdays.
Speaker 4 (08:18):
I'm like, oh, do you have so and so so
and so on Thursdays too, like okay, so like and
assumed that they were the grandparent.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
How old at this point did you think they were?
I thought they were sixties. Okay, ITH's is really bad
for me. How old were they? Do you know? I
didn't want to ask after I assumed them already. How
did you.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
How did you suggest or did you just blatantly say
are you the grandparent?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah? First I sort of suggested did you ask that?
Because they were older? And it wasn't straight into that.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
It was like I said something along the lines of old.
I was like, oh, it's nice that you have them once,
you know, one day week, and I was sort of
like weird sort of small talk about where the parents
are or do they go to the kindergarten?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
And then I was like, oh, so you're the grandparent
and she was like no, oh my god, oh yeah.
Thankfully she was like no, no, no, no, no, she's fine,
and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, like I
didn't and then I was like, oh, may be to go,
and I like dragged her out and it ruined my
whole day because I wasn't the way way to make.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
It about you.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Then I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't sleep. I
felt horrible about it. It was just like two weeks ago,
and I still think about it every time I go
to sleep.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Imagine this poor parent being tired, exhausted. They just want
to get out of the house. They go to the playground.
They're sitting there, and then you go. So you're pretty old,
you're in a retirement village. You're a great parent, obviously, No,
I'm thirty.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yeah. And then I was like, oh, anyway, kid, let's
go drag her out. She's like, what do you mean?
I felt horrible.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
I just you know, when you walk away from any
situation and you're like fuck, And I just felt horrible.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
So have you've never done that? No? Okay, has anyone
done that my own? I know, I don't think.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I'm trying to think of there's a scenario where I've
been like, oh, you're pregnant, but I don't think. I
don't think what have you done? We should probably stop
you right now, we should stop. People are going to
start complaining about me. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. Have
you ever killed a kitten?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Yeah? Actually yeah, I can bet you. No, I haven't
definitely not. I'm an animal lover. Anyway.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I felt horrible about it, but I wanted to ask
you if you don't's trump be no.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I wish I could make you feel better. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
But the fact that you have acknowledged it you made
a mistake, I think is great. I have another announcement
to make about Lola go on. We mentioned last weekend
that she is starting school. Yes, now, one thing that
she hasn't gotten rid of, which is like the remnants of.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
The poppers are good here, aren't they? We should take
what's left of them.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
So one thing that she has held on to the
remnants of being a toddler is her dummy. Oh yes,
loves her dummy and got really bad. At one point
she was having like six dummies to bed. She had
like a family of a cluster of dummies in the
bed when we went away on trips.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Say it must be nice, yep, thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
And it was a nightmare because sometimes she wanted one
particular dummy, and of the six dummies that we brought,
we missed the one that she wanted, and she wouldn't sleep,
she'd have a tantrum.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
That's your fault for having so many dummies. I won
agree you.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Get all the same color. Yes, yes, actually that's such
a good point. Any families out there who have a
child who was obsessed with dummies just by the one brand,
the one make, the one model, the one color.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Is that advice I hear?
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah, okay, yeah, that's not going to harm anyone.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
No, that's like it's unharmful, unharmful because I made put
it in their mouth though, because then.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, also we had like good dummies, and then she
had a taste. There wasn't any other dummy other than
like a three month old dummy, like the minute dummy,
and then she kind of started liking the small dummies,
like the more potent dummy.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Teeth another one.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Yeah, And so then all the big dummies that she had,
which there was twenty of, she then hated like it
was it was a nightmare. And I will say, me
and Laura, that's on us too many options. That's our mistakes.
We did at one point try and remove the dummy.
We thought, I think it was like last year, could have.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Been there, you remembermember last year? Yeah, and you did
it for like a week.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
We got to a week and we tried to make
it a bit of a thing, like we I thinking
hunt dummy fairy with dummy fairy.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
We didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I don't think we gave her enough notice. But I
also remember when we kind of said to her like, hey,
in a couple of days, the dummy fairy is coming.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
She was like ropable.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
She was like fuck that absolutely not I'm not ready,
and we were like no. I don't know how we
decided the date. It was just like on a I
think we also did it on like a Monday as well,
which is just like the start of your work week.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
All the nightmare I remember it was a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Screaming, you know, just hours every night. It was painful.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
But she's not a thumbsucker? Is she doesn't know it?
Like a thumb. That's Marley was doing the thumb.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, she's a thumbsucker. And then after almost a week
we gave up. I recall right, so you try again,
try it again. We gave her lots of notice, telling
her for a while that.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
This is her last birthday.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Literally we went before, we've been planning the seed. And
then we gave her like we're written down, like we
have ten more sleeps, ten more sleeps with the dummy
and she kind of was on board.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
She's matured a lot. Was humoring you.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No, she was like she was kind of like, Okay,
like I get it.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Did it do Doesn't it change the shape of their mande?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah? Her teeth if she bites down, her front teeth
are like really they don't touch, like a gap between.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Yeah. Because I met a kid in Bali or a
parent that didn't meet a kid, well, fucking I really
incriminated myself in this episode. Already.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I met a mom who she was with her kids
swimming with Macey and she and I had noticed that,
like he had like his teeth didn't want it.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
And my wife April goes, yeah, that's from a dummy.
I didn't. I hadn't noticed it with Lola though.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
They kind of say from the age of four, like
it from three it should be dummies gold because it
completely fucks their teeth up. And then by four and
again not advice. I read this somewhere online, I think
from for it creates permanent damage to the teeth.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
So Laura and I were kind of like, fuck, we've
got to We've got to do something here. But luckily
she was on board with the ten Days nine days.
She kind of she got it. She got it. She
was like, she was very understanding. She's turned a corner
the last few months where she now has this like
she's grown up. Yeah, she's grown up a lot.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
But did you show a picture of deformed teeth? Like
this is what I mean?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I was away for work on Monday. Must be nice, okay.
And that happened to be the end of the ten
days where it was first night, so I wasn't there early.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Did you go to the airport and what time was
your actual life? I was on time. So many people
were hating us for that. I know.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Also a few people were like, do the same thing,
and I'm like everyone does that, and shit, everyone sits
in the April.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah, I reckon April does it. She's like, oh my
gym classes at five point thirty. It's like bullshit. She's
just hanging out the car half doom scroll people.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Yeah, they parked the car around the want before going
to the garage because I want to wait till the
kids are asleep.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
We will do it.
Speaker 5 (16:03):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
I have to come back to that one. I have
never done that.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
So we were like, Lola, time is up. We got
to hand over the dummies. Dummy Fairy is coming, Dummy
Fairy is coming tonight, and she was like.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
I get it, I get it. Wow.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
It was like someone who had been on the run
for the police and then they finally got caught and
instead of running, they just went.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
You know what, they're exhausted from running. You've got me
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
It's done.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Yes, I wasn't there. I was away for work, being
an absent father earning money.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Right, that's fair enough. Let me just justify that even
if you weren't, I think it's fair. Thank you, Break,
You're a good dad.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Laura sent me through a video of the final moments
before she was handing over the dummies because the dummy
Fairy was coming that evening. I've sent you that video
ashes on your phone?
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Is that what? You just don't want to have a
little watch.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
At Lola finally saying goodbye to her dummies for the
last time.
Speaker 6 (17:01):
What are you doing, Donal, because I'm a key so
far chock, Hey, Lola, who's coming tonight? Are you ready
to say bye bye bye bye dunnies.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
She's definitely got some hidden somewhere that you don't know.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
That you, reckon, she's playing the game with you. Also,
Molly looks super cute school uniform.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Thank you very much, Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Do you think she's.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Just being like she's taking it like a chance.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
She's been so mature about.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
It, I know, Lola, and she's manipulated you and gas
lighted near that.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
I reckon, she's got some hidden somewhere. Oh my fucking
it's worth it. Snoop, don't say anything, just snoop around
and just see because she's given them up way too.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
She's been great night one night too, couple little tears
but like nothing big, no big candies got ya and
like where Laura and I going, My god, She's like,
this has been a breeze. What have we done differently?
Maybe it's the fact that she's more but we just
have to wait till the right time.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
But she even said, we put it to bed the
other night and she goes, do you know what I
really feel like right now?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
And we're like, what's that. She's like, she's like a
Winny Reds, just a little dummy.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
And we're like we're like, sorry, honey, you know the
dummy fairies come and she goes.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I get it. That's fun.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Anyway, better be off to bed, love you guys.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Don't come in.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
Reckon, she's got your mate, I reckon, she's Look if not,
if I'm wrong, I hope I'm wrong. If I'm wrong,
that's great. Is mature, and that is instant matured. But
you know what child we're talking about, right, because I.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Was going to sit here and say, again, not advice,
but any parents out there who may be removing the dummy,
and if you really get a sense that your child
is not right, just wait it out, wait.
Speaker 4 (19:12):
Till they've figured it out how to trick you.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, yeah, I reckon. We're talking about.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
There was at least forty dummies scattered throughout the house. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I would do a deep dive into that bedroom to
see maybe you could bribe Mali into be.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Like because they share the bedroom, be like, be fucking honest.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I reckon, Look like I said, If not, that's that's
a huge turner. We're talking about like Lola, where she
can love you one second and she's like get off me. Yeah,
because what she sucks you in and then you're like
come give me countries.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Like oh no, run away, I'll keep you posted, keep
me posted on that. What else you got for me?
But what else forgot for Oh?
Speaker 4 (19:56):
I was caught with my pants down, literally bar incrementing
yourself as no, no, yeah, no, no, no, I'll paint your picture.
Let me paint you and the listeners of picture. Because
this is an audio medium, not a visual medium. Please
just not sure if you knew that.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So, my bathroom is one of those bathrooms where the
toilet is separate from the main bathroom. It's in a
separate room.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Which I like, do yeah, because it's very you know,
you stink it up. Someone has to brush their teeth.
There's nothing worse than brushing your.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Teeth, That's true. Make a good point. So the point
I was always like, look, it's a waste of a room.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
But anyway, and then the adjacent door bathroom door. Here
is the laundry. Yes, and that's where the storage is.
For anything bathroom laundry related not important, but thank you,
it is important. It is important to the story. And
the one of the best things about having kids, Matt
is when you run in a toilet paper and you go,
(20:52):
Marley or Oscar, can you get me some toilet paper?
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Run errands for you?
Speaker 4 (20:56):
Yeah, but no one was home, right, So I've had
to go in search of toilet paper that's in the laundry.
So I've opened up the door, pants down, pants a down,
my ankles, bum pooy.
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Bum, shuffling down the hallway doing the shuffle. Yeah it's
not down, just to the right. If you listen to
the start of the story, I apologize. I went in
there because that's where the toilet is kept. Now the
next door neighbors are currently having their roof redone.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Okay, this is a layer that I wasn't expecting, thank you,
a layer of shit you won't expecting anyway.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
So and also, my laundry door is clear like your
front door. Yeah, completely see through, right, And it just
so happens that the toilet paper is actually on the
lower part of the cupboard in the laundry. And I've
come in, I've shuffled in, I've bent down grabbed a
couple of rolls of toilet paper because I just want
(21:53):
to get don't want to get one, don't want to
be selfish for the next person stood up, turned.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Around and there is three trade's on the roof with
who's just had a clear shot of my pooey asshole.
Oh my god. And all I could do at the time,
all I could think of was just a cheeky thumbs up,
(22:19):
tucked the toilet paper under my chin and shuffled back
to the toilet.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Did you give him a thumbs up? Did you get
one back?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
It was just shock. That was just like.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
It was like seven in the morning or something like that.
I'm ridiculous like that. Anyway, I don't want a story toffee, No,
do it please? Because that was like that was great.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
That's classic. That's a classic embarrassment. My front door it
is see through.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
So Lola was up pretty early and she was like, hey, everybody,
come and look how nice the sunrise is. Because sunrise
is about like six o'clock at the show or this.
You're better than that. She was like, come see the sunrise.
It's beautiful. And it was beautiful.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
It was like a magenta and it would rise like
your door faces southeast beautiful, beautiful for the sunrise.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
And ocean views. I was in huh ocean views.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Speaking for highlighting. I was in my undies and normally
no one's really at that time. Lola was like standing
on the garage. I then came out to then, because
you know, you have you just have to keep the
kids happy. And then I stood out there and I
was looking, and then the neighbor was getting in his
car across the road. He looked, was kind of like
(23:37):
about to look. So I was like, fuck. I went
to turn around to go back inside. The door had
shut behind me, so I just turned around, like, fucking
bomb you face playing. All that was now shut and.
Speaker 4 (23:52):
You would have had those white little undies onto with
the ship stayed down the bag.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But also, when you get to our Josh.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
I'm no, I'm not falling into our age. I'm still
early thirties.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Like my year old. You're old.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
When you get to you've like you've got bad knees,
bad hips. When you get to our age and you
got kids, you don't really care about being seen naked
as much as when you're like.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, in fact, let's get naked right now, Jesus, like
please fucking.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Don't hey, just really quickly. You may have seen recently
I was at movie World. Oh yeah, actually movie World.
I'm going to go, oh, when was the last time
you're at movie World?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Oh? Fifteen years ago?
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Okay, good, because I can just help you out here.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Don't go.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
No, it's great. Okay, it's great. It's sick. It's sick,
like I didn't think sick. It was fully sick. Double
Shuckers loved it. Yeah, they were like, holy shit, this
is unbelievable. You know, going down that main strip where
all the characters are and did I have the Batmobile?
Still had the Batmobile. It's different. The Batmobile has changed.
(25:06):
It was not Do you remember the Batmobile was like
with Jim Carrey as the Joker. Yeah, that one's not there.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
It's not there. What is it now? Like a Lambeau or.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Something pretty like it's souped up just slut slutty.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Batmo by You need to.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Talk about the batmobial like that? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Is it like a Lambo or some shit like that.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
It's like cool, it's like a souped up like GT for.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
It's a superw Rex.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Yeah, it's cool. I Maii went on a first roller coaster,
which is a great experience. Which one it was a
Looming Tunes one, okay, Luny Tunes one.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Is she old enough? How old? Yeah? It's high.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
You have to go through and there's like if they're
over a meter but under one ten. They can go
on these like bigger rides, but you have to go
with an adult. They can't go by themselves.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
What do you like with rides? I used to love it.
I used to love it.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
I get pretty motion sickness now, like my my tummy
gets a bit unsettled.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Jess's comments are slowly making sense. You're showing your age.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Boys. I get motion signs. I get motion signess on
a swing, dude.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I remember, like when I was a teenager going on
one of the rollercoasters, like hold on and going on
like five times in a row at the end of
the day when it was pretty quiet, and just loving it.
Looney Tunes like there's no loop to loop, there's none
of that stuff because it's for kids, right, but still
like it's you know, it's you're moving a lot shaking.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
And the G force. There's a lot of there's a
lot of g forces.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
But Marley, she didn't really look at it going She
just she was like, I just want to let's do this.
And I was like, are you sure, and she was
like fuck yeah, And I was like case. We lined up,
we got there and were we had the option. We're
at the front of the queue. Gate open, we could
grab our seats and I was like, do you want
to go on the front and she was like heck,
yeah yeah, And I was like ah, and she was
(26:58):
like see sick. And then you were going up the start.
We kind of go really high, and I was like,
she's about to get real kid.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Okay. I was sorry, I keep sliding down. You're like
on the floor. Make yourself at home. I slug sorry.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And then as soon as we like you kicked off.
Fucking loved it. She wanted to go back to back.
How could I couldn't because I was queasy.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Kids kids have got no fear.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
I think, well, Lola was petrified.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
She wouldn't like trying to get it go on in
the Merry go round. She was like it was just
like slowly tilting. She was like, stop, get sickness on
just a swing.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Do you remember those little cars, I don't even know,
little cars that you sit on top of the cars
and they like they like a dodgery car. Yeah, but
you only go it's like a track.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
It's like, yeah, okay, you know you.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Can't you're at most ten k's an hour. Lola was
like almost went on those ones and she freaked out
last minute. So what did she do all day? We went,
We went to the live action like used to be
the Police Academy show.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Yeah, Lola was like, this is too loud. It's very loud.
Have you seen them behind the scenes of that. That's sick.
It is, it's sick, sick.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
But one thing I noticed again this is I just
want to manage your expectations.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I remember being there.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
As a kid and it being enormous, like it took
the whole day to explore everything.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Is that not the case? It's shrunk. Do I think
you've gotten bigger? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Thank you a fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Ouch that hurts. But so what what do you mean?
What do you mean you've got Yeah, it's like you
know when you're in primary school and you see the
high school kauds, like fuck, they're huge, And now you
look at the primary school the high school kids and
you're like, I'll take I probably still couldn't, but it's like, yeah, yeah,
I get it. But like it to Lola and Marley,
(29:03):
it is huge. Absolutely, So it's shrunk. It's small. Yeah,
it was weak. They just got one strip, the one strip.
Have you ever been to Disneyland? No, you'd never been
to a Disneyland before. Oh all right, money bags.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
No, I went to Disneyland in Paris after we had
caveat for breakfast and we spoke at the French last
the other half live.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yes, before kids. Actually we found out we were pregnant
a week before we had to go, so we couldn't
go on any fucking right. Need your last story.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
But that's again, okay, thank you, thanks Oscar. Anyway, Um, yeah,
we're gonna go because we're going to the Goldie next
month for Easter.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
What was was a Disneyland story. It's huge. Okay, so
I think it's great.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
It was great, but yeah, just be prepared for the
fact that your memory of it will be so different.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
To you going there as an adult. I've just received
a message, Oscar. He has placed ninth in cross country.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
His shoe fell off. I didn't know that he had
to run a kilometer dude, this morning.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
I didn't think they let kids that age.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Yeah, cross country April. It was really sad because there's
so many kids running and crying.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I'm pretty sure when my kids go to school, they're
not allowed till grade three to do cross country.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
Apparently the grade three kids were the most upset. April
was like Oscar loved it is. Shoe just fell off.
And we've been practicing not not can I just not
the running part.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't want to. We've been practicing the what to
do if you win or if you lose, which is
shake everyone's hands. A good race regardless. I'm a good dad,
such a good dad. Thank you. Did he have the
bel grows shoes or a lace up? They were? They
were the lay with the velcove so that you don't
actually do. They were like the ship. It's still she
(31:03):
came off, come flying off. Apparently he made run. He
was hitting it with pace. So I'll let you gether.
I'll let you have that one. I get out of
how many kids? Nine? No, I think there's like ninety
kids in there. Ninety kids. He's got like four full classes.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Ninety kids. Holy shit, that would have been carnage. Yeah,
did ninety kids run it?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Yeh, that's just in their grade. Kids that they lose.
Speaker 4 (31:31):
Eighty one of them was the last one that I'm
surprised he came ninth.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
He's been he's been really like trained for.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
It, a little bit like just like running, get you
down to be here four hundred times. No, but he
a kilometer. Yeah, he was pumped for it. Apparently he
was really stoked with the top ten, top ten, top ten.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Well, especially if you you know shoeless.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You were a fast kid, I've been told growing up.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I was quick over short distances. You're a sprinting not
a marathon runner.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, in my heat, I look forward to the next
athletics day where we can see Oscar in his pet
event one hundred.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
Would Mary your school do athletics at that age or not?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
Good question? Glad you asked. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
You should find it. What about swimming carnival? Masy swim
on her own? What is going on kids growing up?
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Anyway?
Speaker 5 (32:21):
Moving on, time for lights, Tell me Love, tell me
little live Matt.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Would you like to go first? To go first? Okay?
This one's from Crystal. Crystal congratulations.
Speaker 4 (32:38):
So if you lie does get read out, you do
get the choice of either a Maddie j or an
ash stuffed toy.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I did see that the last few that went out
were actually ash toys.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, how does that make you feel? Yeah, the nervous
little voice. This one's from Crystal.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
My daughter think that the TV remote works better if
she's extra polite when asking for a shot.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
I've actually got ash a recording of a lie.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Oh this is new yeah hotline.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, guess who it is? Coming back with another big lie?
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Donner and more.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Guess we had a big lie last week gang busteres
on Social.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
We Go.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
So Nana Ellie told the lie about the PlayStation rented.
We actually owned it. This morning, I said, you wouldn't
believe it. NA one point six million views that video
has and she was pumped.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Oh, she'd be fro no wonder she's asking fucking cruise
lines for work.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
And people in the comments were like, who is this?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
Genius is? Who's Ellie?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
And we want more? So this is another lie that
we have from Ellie.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
God. I hope it does as well second time round.
Speaker 8 (34:00):
The PlayStation wasn't the only thing I lied about. You
were too young. But the other two were being silly
in the lounge and they knocked the television and it smashed.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I said, that's it.
Speaker 8 (34:13):
We don't have a television now and I'm not replacing it.
But I did replace it with a small television that
I kept in my wardrobe.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
When you've gone to bed.
Speaker 8 (34:26):
I went to my room and I could turn it
on and watch what I wanted to watch. And you
just thought you didn't have a television.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
She's a fucking genius. Oh how much does she have
in the vall? She's a cruel mistress, she is. That's
the equival of like, yeah, she's just gone off to
her room to sneakily watch TV without you.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
That's a lot of work though, having to put the
little TV back up.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
I mean it all makes you think what else she
was hiding from you?
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Yeah? So each week I'm just going to pull into
a lie out of Ellie and bring out some childhood trauma.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Does she want a stuffed ash doll? She deserves?
Speaker 4 (35:10):
That is good year, She's very good. I've got another one, Matt.
This one's from Jazz Mim also winner this week. Husband
came home drunk one night, had a boy and said
he drank too much juice and now kids are afraid
to drink the old drunk on apple juice trick. I've
heard that before. That's good. What else you got for me?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I go on?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
This is from Treaty Treaty tricky names this week.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
That's what I'm saying tricky. I don't want to name Shane.
I don't want to name Shamee. But when are we
going to get the Luke James BOMBI bloke Okay from Tretty.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
It says I told my toddler that if they pressed
the elevator button too many times, the elevator will get
dizzy and refuse used to take anyone up.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
It's like when I was a kid and my parents
would be like, don't press the crossing the street thing
what they call it?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Fucking heal?
Speaker 4 (36:09):
No, no, no, no, the one with the button the
traffic light crossing?
Speaker 1 (36:12):
What do you call that traffic light?
Speaker 4 (36:14):
There's got to be a simpler name than that. I
feel like I'm tripping over that, Like the traffic light crossing.
You don't press it too many times. Every time you
press it charges you. No, no, it charges you like
fifteen cents, and then they send you a bill.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
So she like, just press it once. Who told you that?
My mum? No, my nan with all the spoons, yeah yeah,
with the spoon trine. Do you believe it? Yeah, I
still believe it. I press it once. I've just worked
out that I'm an idiot. Okay, I love it. List
of questions, Listen to questions. Do you want to start this?
(36:48):
You start?
Speaker 4 (36:49):
You start? Okay about this? One's from anonymous Strange Names
this week.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Mum of a one.
Speaker 4 (36:55):
Year old Here, huge fight with my partner last night.
He says we spend no time together, our relationship is
non existent, and we no longer have fun. He's not
wrong in some ways, we've both been focusing on getting
back to ourselves after becoming parents, or so, I thought.
Do you have any rituals for spending time with your past?
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Rituals? Sex, I'm a child. I'm just a child first
and foremost. Go on.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
I think it is very natural as parents, with any
number of children, that you have periods where you feel
a bit disconnected from your partners.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
A roommate like a roommate phase. Do you know how
old the kids are? No, that's one year old? Did
you say one year old? Yes? Fuck like dude? Can
you remember how hard it was with a one year old? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Do you know what I forgot? I had to do
disinfect like the teats of Bob?
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Do you remember that ship? I didn't know?
Speaker 8 (38:03):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Not by hand? Did you put in one of those
things and checked in the microwave. You're putting plastic in
the microwave. No, they go in like a special. They
go in a special. Parents will back me up. I
swear to God. Google it. It's like a It's like
a container. You put a little bit of water and
it's sterilize. You chuck it in the microwave and it
peats up and its sterilized. It like boiling water.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Microplastics. Does that mean anything to you?
Speaker 4 (38:27):
Obviously not, bro. My kids are just full of microplastics.
They're gonna get their blood filleded one day, so I
shouldn't attack I mean attacking you this day. Yeah, but
I appreciate it. I have keeps me on my toes.
I've acknowledged it.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
So for first and foremost continue one year old.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
It's like that is that you're in the eye of
the storm. That is a tricky position to be in.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
I think it's there coming out of the trickiest position.
You know what I mean, because that's what you're saying. Yeah,
like that that age.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yes, don't get me wrong, Still tricky and for some
it's trickier.
Speaker 4 (38:59):
That whole leading up to one. No wonder you're not
fucking hanging out with each other you probably hate each.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Other everyone on the surface, Yes, did everyone with a
one year old. Every couple hates each other at that
period of life, and.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
If they don't, they're fucking lying. No one is thriving.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
You may thrive for the blink of an eye, but
then the majority of the time you're just trying to
stay alive. You just get your head above water. That's
the reality. I think anyone who was like, oh wow,
I don't really have, like my relationship is not cranking
with one year old, I'm like, it should that shouldn't.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
It shouldn't be cranking. If it's cranking, that kid's being neglected.
It's hungry, all.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Right, keep controld alive. I think also, and we say
we're not going to give it any advice, but we're
both married, we both have two kids. I think we're both.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
In a position we could give a little bit of
advice that has worked potentially for us.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
I'm ready for it. Give yourselves a fucking break. Actually, sorry, continue, shut.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
You up, don't go so hard on yourselves, and don't
put too much pressure.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
There's so much time for you to get that back.
Is that they am I wrong? Yes? Go on, Okay,
put more pressure on yourself.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
Is that what you're saying, Get get ready, give the
mom a break. Okay, yes, okay, Because I I I
was was shit with.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
A one year old.
Speaker 2 (40:24):
I was still in that mindset of like, oh, mom's
got it, you know, because newborn's up until three four months,
Mum and newborn, they are attached at the hip slash
boob and.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
One year old.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
There were one year old is when dads like that
can really start taking on a lot more so. I
think I think it's hard to think about being sexy
and romantic and wanting to have all that type of
business going on when you know the house is a
mess and you're trying to deal with a little child.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
So my best advice is.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Any dad's out there who think my relationship is not
being prioritized, just like clean that house, dude, take a
day off work, call and sink to work, and just
like clean the house, do the washing, mop the vacuum,
mop the floor.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
A little bit of your player is going to go
a long way.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Please refer to the two thousand and twenty three calendar
that we did plugg.
Speaker 1 (41:22):
Very much out of date. That's my advice.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
I think that's that's pretty solid, but I would just
attack on the top of that that if you are mum,
don't try and force that advice onto them, because it
could you know what I.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Mean, Like if you're like, why don't you clean the
house anymore? It might make it worse.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
Don't you know fucking talent to clean the house?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Are you going with your going with full?
Speaker 4 (41:45):
Tell them I think by what I like what you
said was then if your dad right, just just go
and do it?
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Yes, yes, yes, I like that. Be proactive, be there
he is.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
That's to hear because it's it's like for me personally,
if I would prefer to be proactive and do those
sort of things, then to be told go and do it,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
No one enjoys a gift they asked for, not that
doing exactly what.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
You're just full of good words right now. I'm not
going to stop it. You got the apple juice? It
was the apple juice out of date? Okay, question for
you again.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
Don't put too much pressure on the relationship, right yes,
because no one is. I know, we joke, we laugh.
Everyone fucking hates each other at that stage.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
Life with a two year old is a lot better
than life for the one year old.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Yeah, for sure, they're given back way more.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Give me a toddler any day of the week. Newborns
question for you, Ash go, This is from Okay, not important.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Oh that's not fair. No, it's not important. We're sick
of names today.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Actually this one, this one came from producer Jass.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
The Facebook group got a great response. Do you mean
just with no kids? Yeah? Okay, I'm asking the question
now to you, Ash.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Have a sip your popper, very good, Yeah, get that
juice in you because it's it's like gasoline. What are
your top three kids shows that aren't annoying to watch
as an adult?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Good question.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Let's start with number three down the bottom.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
Okay, number three down the bottom is a show called Little.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Lunch, sort of like a primary school mockumentary.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
I have seen that. It's interesting.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
It's sort of like similar to like The Office, but
the kids, kids, kids love it, love it.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
And do you know what it's a And we're just
going to give some more advice here. If your kid's
going to start school, get them onto that show because.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
It really does really hangs the picture of what school life.
Speaker 4 (43:51):
And anyone that has said because you'd go through, and
you'd be going through the same thing when you're talking
to parents in the same class or same grade as
your kid.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Now, how's Marlin going? Like has she adjusting? And it's
like either you know, good or a couple of days
for you're bad or blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (44:05):
During those first couple of weeks, people were like, how's
Oscar and like April would be like, yeah, yeah, good,
and they're like, oh, look, you know Parry or Billy
or whatever it is struggling a little bit, and it
was like, do you know what my kid's froth?
Speaker 1 (44:16):
It really helped Oscar is Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
Great characters, great writing, scripting, and that is lah very good.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
My number three is I'm going to go with play
School a classic?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Is it because you've been on Play School?
Speaker 2 (44:30):
No, don't be okay, don't be like at all? Why
would you even suggest.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
I'm going to be on PLA what? No, not made
that up? See that? See that? Se see that? Did
you see that? And that's going to be on camera too?
There he is. I think I agree with you.
Speaker 4 (44:46):
I think like it's one of the bit more bearable
nursery rhymes sort.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Of great show, beautiful, love it plenty when.
Speaker 4 (44:52):
You're on it, turn it straight off. Didn't you read
a book to Buster or you just had Buster.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
And you read I've read many books. Ash, it's been nice.
Speaker 4 (45:01):
No.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
My number two is a sung songs. You don't sing
around me?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
No, No, but this is not about me, isn't it.
I can't remember the all.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Three of these shows, the shows you've been on. My
next one is have you seen It's unbearable?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Okay? My number two, my NU two a show called
zig and Shark? Wow? What's that? And I'm just going
to preface.
Speaker 4 (45:32):
This really quickly with saying I'm a real big fan
of shows that there's no character talk like ping very
much like pingu talking in kids shows is so fucking annoying,
like coca melon?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Fuck me, what's your So it seems to be it
seems to be.
Speaker 4 (45:48):
It's like a little beaver sort of thing and starfish
Ziggy and zig and Shark.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Okay, so picture this cartoons an I made it. It
is a small bee like character.
Speaker 4 (46:01):
I'm not specific on what animal that is, sure, and
a shark and that's sort of like a Tom and
Jerry situation where one's after the other at some point.
Each episode might be a little bit different, but it's
always set on a cruise ship. It's really weird and specific,
but it's sort of a bit goes back to like
ren and stimpy, sort of remember that, like that sort
(46:24):
of animation.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
I love that. I'm going to you're selling it to
me and I like it.
Speaker 2 (46:28):
Number two for me, I'm going Blue.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
What's up for? I think Nick Cody put it really
simply go on.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
He's like, there or everyone gets so self obsessed with
how they parent based off the parents on Bluey And
then he says, that's because they're seven minute episodes. You
could be a good parent for seven minutes. So I
think I like the premise of that every Blue episode
can be for.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
An adult as well, and I like it.
Speaker 4 (46:59):
There can put your heart strings a bit, but I
think too many of them, I start to feel like
my parenting shit fair because they are They're always end
up being such good parents in it.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Can't they shit the bed once or twice? Like they
are dogs?
Speaker 2 (47:16):
Like if the creators of Bluies are watching this or
listening to this, please.
Speaker 4 (47:20):
They've got those mini episodes, they're already seven minutes. Now,
I've got to see parents be very good parents for
the last minutes. I love it, don't I don't love it,
love it, but I don't not like watching number one.
Number one is a show once again no talking. It's
called Mighty Beam.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
I've not heard of this one, so it's like a similar.
Speaker 4 (47:40):
It's it's a bit more animated opposed to like cartoon.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
That makes sense.
Speaker 4 (47:46):
So when I say animated, like say Shrek animated, right, right,
A bit more like that, but same thing.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
There's no talking.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
It's just a lot of like it's about a small child, yep, baby.
Speaker 1 (47:57):
I think it's set in like India or something like that.
It's very enxotic, very exotic. The child has like super strength, right,
and it sort of gets itself into all sorts of
situations without any talking. It's all like music and emotion.
But it's like one of those ones you can just
pop on and you can just sit there and the
kids love it and it doesn't annoy the fuck out
of me.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
I'll have to check it out. My number one is let.
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Me just blewie, wasn't your number one? I'm intrigued, Okay.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
I watched this one back in the day through my
sister her kids used to love this show. My girls
have just started watching it.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Come on, So if it's around from when we are,
I'm gonna know it surely.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
Nor my sister's kids, who are like, oh yeah, eldest
is now like eight or nine, so now outgrown this show.
But my kids now started watching it.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
They love it. I also love it.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
It's called Katie's Amazing Machines.
Speaker 1 (48:47):
Never heard of it, dude, do you tell it? Sell it?
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Do yourself a favorite Katie.
Speaker 4 (48:52):
If you if you're pitching it to me, I'm going
to invest in it, give it to me.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Okay, Katie is obsult, please moving on. I'm pretty sure
her main job is she's like a rally car.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Driver, Lady of the Night. She's a rally car driver.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
She's like a professional race car driver, and she goes
around each episode she just checks out these awesome machines
that move so like speedboats, motorbikes, like excavators, and she
just drives them.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
Is it animated?
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Katie's a real dry, like a blippy yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Yeah, but she's but she's cool. She's just like, hey,
what's up.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
I like to drive things and like go fast, So
what are we checking out today?
Speaker 1 (49:36):
A speed note, send me the link to this because
Oscar will for all absolutely.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
And then she talks about like how that machine, how
that bit of equipment works, like an excavator. She'd be like,
let's see how fast it goes, and she gets pretty slow,
but it can do this and like digs holes.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Oh my god. So, yeah, is it on? What's it on?
Speaker 2 (49:54):
I'll watch it on ABC Kids. But then as well,
she'll also have someone who's an expert. So if she's said,
like a motorbike, I have a motor byclist, well said
thank you, and he'll do wheelies and she'd be like
that's so cool, and he'll try and teach her something.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
But she's very good. She can drive anything that's correct,
like a bomb. You can drive anything anything. I've not
seen it. There's no aeroplane. I've seen a fly. Shut up, Yeah,
send it over. I want to. I want to show
Oscar because we're going to be Katie's amazing. What are
your thoughts on Blippy? Yeah, he's a bit much. Do
you know the origin story of Blippy? You don't know
the origin story. I think we've spoken about this for jest.
Speaker 4 (50:29):
He shout his bed, and yeah, no, no, no, didn't
shoot his bad You know that trend, the Harlem shake
where it would cut to like them dancing crazy?
Speaker 1 (50:38):
He diar read on his friend's face. That's how it's
not true. It is true, It is true, It is true.
Show me that it is true, Jessica, get that up right.
This is before Blippy before.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
I don't want to hear you guys talk about Blippy
in this way without giving some kind of evidence it is.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
It is factual. I'm giving you fat can we do?
Speaker 2 (50:58):
I don't need lawyers in our case. This is defamation
in the highest regard.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
We shouldn't have shot on his mate's face, and I
wouldn't have.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
To fame him after this record finding the footage, I
will find you. If anyone else has this footage, please
send it to us.
Speaker 4 (51:10):
If anyone else has any TV suggestions that's not going
to drive a parent crazy.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
Please let us know absolutely any lies, any questions, you
may always always send them to us.
Speaker 1 (51:20):
Our door is open. It is always open. Ash T shirts.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
You're wearing a great T shirt? By the way, are
you just thank you T shirt? Is it called the
smelly Nappy T shirt? They are on our website. Two
doting dads dot Com. They're forty five bucks if you
want them. Honestly, I mean this when I say there's
not many left.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
Say that every week about everything must go well.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
I just don't want people to be disappointed. We only
have a couple remaining, okay them.
Speaker 1 (51:51):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (51:52):
By the time this comes out, there may not be
any left. So do yourself a favor. If you're thinking
about it, grab a T shirt yourself. Don't be disappointed.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Don't be disappointed. Yeah with the shirt. We they're all
sold out. Yeah, exactly what have I got?
Speaker 4 (52:07):
If you've enjoyed this episode, please give us a review,
five stars, little comment.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
Join us on socials.
Speaker 2 (52:12):
We're at Two Doting Dads, TikTok, Instagram, the Facebook group.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
Also Send it to a friend.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Send this episode to somebody out there you think needs
a relatable laugh about parenting. Agreed, spread the word spread,
Spread it like a disease.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
Oh, I read it like herpes. And on that we're
getting it off track. We will go, We will leave
and spread our own herpes. Goodbye, Goodbye.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 4 (52:52):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Island
a people's today,
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