April 15, 2025 • 53 mins
How do you know that you're "getting on"?
Some say grey spotting, perhaps rickety knees, but for Matty J and Ash...it's a hairy butt-crack.
This week, it's Marlie-Mae's turn to run the cross-country, and she's not keen. Her father gives her a pep-talk that his very own mother used to give him when he was Marlie's age.
What's the most you'll pay for school uniforms? Matty J makes a rookie move after being upsold at the local uniform shop.
Ash has had ANOTHER flashback, and there is a twist that no one could have predicted.
And Miss Macy has hit a new milestone and may as well be ready to move out.
We also answer your questions:
- What are the worst gifts you can give your child?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're not going to mention anything about my appearance today.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's not always about you, bro.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You know, I just got a little haircut and even
said anything.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I did notice it. Well, if you notice it, what
do you say something I would like to see from you?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I've actually gone a bit. This is a bit ash esque.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yeah, I would like to see a little bit less side.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Burn less side burn Yeah, what do you mean at
the moment? Less?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Like a tape it? More more tape it side back? Yeah,
it is a bit tape it. Yeah, I really like it.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
The length of the back.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, but I think that needs to be shorter. Really.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, it looks good even more. Yeah, just that bit.
I can't tell if you're setting me up.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
You're right on track. Okay, I'll show you later what
I mean. Okay, I also got a haircut too, Have
you not noticed?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I get sorry? You look great and you've grown your beard. Yeah,
what's going on there?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Me? Life crisis?
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Got I have not seemed like a vertle that front.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Welcome back to two dating dads. I am Maddie Jay
and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about
haircuts apparently. So it's the good, the bad, the good,
the bad haircuts and the relatable haircuts.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
What's a relatable haircut?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Which feel age?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Just short back in sides? It is, Yeah, it's been
done to.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Death, hasn't that.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
It's a bit it's overkay.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
People are leaving the back now because they're like, it's
been done to death.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I feel like I'm jumping really late on the bandwagon
of having it long on the back.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I like it. I think you're in good. You've got
to remember we're in now. Well, you're in your late thirties, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I was at an event where someone said how old
are you? And I said, I'm turning thirty eight and
they went.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Oh shit, you're almost forty.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
The fuck ore.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I was like, how old are you and they're like,
I'm twenty six.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh it's wild.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I'm almost forty dude, almost forty.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
You know what I've noticed is that the biggest change
the closer I get to.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Forty one sec. No advice we'll be giving in this podcast.
Thank you, Let's move forward. Ye, sorry, thank you. The
lawyers were stressing out just then. I was stressed.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I've noticed that the back hair, like you know you
have a little is it called like a welcome mat.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
What's it called above your welcome mat? Yeah, welcome mat
doesn't I don't have it anymore.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
You trimmed it? Yeah, go on, just look away.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Oh god, you missed the spot. A couple of little
straight A couple of little straight hairs?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Who did that?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Was that very hard to shave that region?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
This is going to shave that reason?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
How would you do it?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
This is if anyone who know. This is like the
lower back lower above the butt crack. Yeah, where the
love handles are.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
For some.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Jesus, it's like run where my back six pack is?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I do like the twist, the twist the I go under.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Ill just go right under, and I go from my
lower back right through to my gooch.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Or my taint.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
If you would, it looks very good. Why did you
trim yours?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I want to look better at a bathing suit dream winter.
You've had that for a long time.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
It was creeping its way up to my shoulders.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Well, dude, that's what That's what I'm experiencing. Mine used
to just be that little part there. It's now like
it's up to my laps.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yeah, this is like two dokin granddads. What the fuck?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Why is my pubic hair waited until I've almost hit
the age of forty to then go ah, we will
start growing on the back.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Yes, get it. Boys like you won't.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Notice why now if you're a medical expert, tell me.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
But some people were hairy in school, like man children.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I haven't made whose back was back in ass hairy
since we were like fourteen.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, I only got under our hair when I was eighteen. Yeah,
that's it feels good to get that off my chest.
The look on your face. I remember like every morning
looking under my arms in high school being like come on,
like waiting for that first little sprout to happen in
the garden. I'm like, at any second, now it'll happen.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
And kids at school would have given you so much shit.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Oh yeah, like swimming carnivals. It was you know, yeah,
it was freak. I used to love the old.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
The old comeback would be like you thought you had
a pube until you pissed out of it. I never
heard that that was a glassy Oh god, yeah, and
you could get you be like your one you don't
have your pubes, and two you got a tiny dick.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
It's like a double up. It's the double the double
like it's the one too.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
A little while ago, Ash, we were talking about the
fact that Oscar had performed very well at his cross country.
What place did he get?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was ninth, But because your shoe fell off, couldn't
catch up.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Of course that morning, who was tying the shoelaces.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I don't know if you recall it was a Belk
crush shoe. I apologize, Yeah, you should. I apologize, And
I was like, oh, that's funny. We don't have country. Yeah,
you were saying from year three up.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, you're wrong. I was very wrong.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I've tried so hard to subscribe to the school newsletter.
Why would you want to do that, because because things
like cross country, that's how we find out I'm not
good East to have parade.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I'm not getting told anything. I'm in the dark.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Can't you get emails but the newsletter. That's all in
the newsletter, but I don't receive. I purposely gave them
zero emails for me. They go to April.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Would see where opposite and our found that Laura, is
that's true, Laura, that they could be like your child
is being held at gunpoint and you need to come
to the school to pick it up, pick it up,
pick her up, and Laura will like see that like
a week later and be like, where's where's Marley? A
week still being held hostage. She doesn't read her emails. Yeah, okay,
God love her.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
You and April together would be terrible. Me and Laura
together terrible.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
So it works if we ever are inclined to swap partners.
Let's just remember this conver station. Well we know it's
just on that really quick.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Ever went to a party and there was a bowl
at the front that said three keys in here as
a joke. I must have been a joke. Must have
been which party? A birthday party? Don't know, but we're
going back next week.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
So my sister goes to the same school. Sister is
very like, she's.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
How old is your sister?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I mean very good, very good, very good, very good,
some of your best work now. But she is she's
dialed in to the to the school newsletter. She is
the kind of mum who like works at the canteen.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
You write it right the school.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
She's pretty she's the editor. She's the editor. And she
was like, hey, you got next Wednesday? You got She
actually listened to the podcast and was like, just you
know you do have a cross country it is coming up,
so you are welcome, and I was like fuck. I
was like, So I went to Marley and I was like,
she's actually a pretty good runner. Not to like and
I sound like a like my child is so.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Fast, so smart, so fast, she could fly. But I
sat her down and I was like, hey, you got
something coming up and it's going to be very exciting.
I used to like cross country. Yep. I used to
be the champion of my school. We're going to sit
here and he's going to glowed about.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You went to regionals, went to my auntie.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Actually regionals on carry on.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
We had zones and then we had regionals after zones,
I was one step away from making states.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I'm standing by it.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
When you get to ausies, bro, did you make ouzies?
Oh yeah, for what?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Lots of things go on to my jump, long jump
four hundred meters, beach sprinting flags, battle board.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I was trying to have a moment.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And anything else I can I could. The list goes on, yeah,
well what happened here? Ah beer, Well he's naturally sad.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Wow, just ship on me. When I'm trying to have
a moment, with the listeners. So it was a big
deal cross country for me. You know, not all of
us went to Aussie's. Some of us were happy with
just winning Reach of the Stars. I say, well said,
And I went to Smiley and said, you have cross
country coming up, you have to run. And it was
like I was telling her that she was going to
lose a limb. I was like, hey, next Wednesday, you're
(08:15):
going to lose a limb. It's going to get cut
off at school, but it's going to be for a
good cause. She was like, why why do they make
us run? And I was like, it's just it's cross
country is a it's an event. You're going to run
against the people in your class. And she's like, but
for what what are we competing for? And I was like,
to be the fastest.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
She needs like a real reason.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, she doesn't get sports. She's not like a like
she would rather dance. And I was trying to explain
to her, like there's a reason we do this, and
she was like I don't understand, Like what are we
trying to achieve here? Because you have to Yeah, I
was like, it's fun because you get to you get
to run.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Run with your friends. And there's two types of kids.
I think, kids that like to run for fun and
kids that like to run competitively. Oscar is the competitive one.
I can't be like, oh, just run over there. He'll
be like timey. You know.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
It's like you've got like a little whippet dog that's great. Yeah,
I've got like a docile great dane. That's like, why
would I run? Like, you know, what's gonna What am
I going to get at the end of it? And
I'm like, you don't get anything. You get like a
ribbon if you win, if you come first thing or third,
if you come fourth. You don't get anything. And she's like,
that's a ship deal.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
She sees the logic in it on it and I
kind of do realize it is.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
It's a weird fucking concept, it is. I think, like
it's like it's very gladiator asque, like you will all
fight to the jask. I'm all run, drop and die
and then we'll learn spelling.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah do you think like that? They're like they get
them involved, So it's more like I don't know, like
the getting involved part.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know, you just gotta just okay, Can I tell
you a story?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
At my school. When I was growing up, this is
Brookfield Primary School. Shout out to anyone from Brookfield and
Queensland close down. I heard absolutely not. It's thriving, it's doing.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
They were like, who's going to go to reach it's expanding.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Fuck you.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
There was a young boy, Peter Low.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I thought he could say no.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Peter Low was in my sister's grade, one year older,
and he was the poster child across country. He was
someone who had cerebral palsy and every single year he
would run the cross country. It would take him a
lot longer than everybody else. He would run this race
knowing he's not going to win the race. He just
(10:42):
wanted to be involved. And when he would come in
at the finish line, we would have the whole school
cheering him on because every single year he got involved
he did it. And my mam always said to us,
you're so lucky. He's so lucky to be able to run.
You have two working arms, two working legs. Peter Low
(11:03):
would fucking kill for that. Yeah, And I was like,
you're right. We would always run it, doing it knowing
that Peter Low could do it. And if Peter Low
can do it, then we're going to do.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
It as well. That's pretty encouraged. I'd love to know
where Peter Low is. My mum was trying to google
in my class. I think he's an accountant really, but
it was amazing he was. He could have easily have
sat out the cross country totally, but every single year
he fucking did it.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Just got it done, got it done.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
That's just like, did you tell that story of Marley?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
And I said, Marley, let me tell you the story
of Peter Low. And she was like, what are you
talking about. I was like, Brookfield Primary School.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That's exactly what you would have been thinking.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
And I was like, you're so lucky to be able
to go out there and you can run. You're so blessed.
She was, I don't know if the story was really hidden. Yeah,
And every morning she'd fucking be in tears because I'm like,
don't forget, you've got cross country.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
So you kept spooking with the cross country yeah, wa,
like that's tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
With the pigs with the megaphone.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
They got to start training. So this morning was the
day of cross country today. Today, I was like, I'm
not going to be there because I think if I'm
there she's more inclined to not want to do it,
and I want to be with me, you know what
kids are?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Then like that, April cried at the cross country for
what because she was so sad because all the kids
that didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Okay, good to know that it's not just Marley, No,
it's not.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
She felt like it was a form of torture. Don't
maybe do it?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And then like some kids thrive off that sort of
ship Likesca loves that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
But this morning we were like putting on her socks
and shoes.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
She was like, I don't want to do it. I'm like,
you're fucking do it. Do it for Peterlo.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
So have we got a result yet?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Oh you don't know it fucking got canceled cancer.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Good.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
She's probably like it's next term, the next time. So
I guess I'm to train. I might'st all they do
if anyone.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
How long is how long is you want? It's literally
I want to say it's like three hundred meters? How
just a kilometer? They gave us a breakdown.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
A kilometer, Yeah, yeah, a kilometer.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, we're training for regionals. Bro.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
That is that is that is far does torture? Yeah,
can we get the Department of Education inspecting your school?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Northern Beaches?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I reckon?
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Okay, well, okay, if you.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Live a kilometer and your kid does, he's like four,
he's silly, sicks man.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Still very different. The Klombter's not that far. Dude, you're forty.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Forty. If I'm forty, you're forty five.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Stuff it?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
You're so close to fifty. It's like twelve more summers
than Mars.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Is like twice around thequadrangle? Quadrangle? Quadrangle?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Is this math?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Jesus so canceled? Going in next year? Do you do
you know being a subscriber to someone who reads the newsletter?
Do they do athletics to like some some stage.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
They do have an athletics carnival? Correct. Yeah, I don't
know when it is. I'll wait till my sister tells me.
I have my goal for like my midyear goal is
to get subscribed to the newsletter.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
How come you can't? What's this zeal?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I try and on the website, put email in and
it says we'll send you a link. Click the link
and your subscribed. The link never comes I've never had
the link. I've never I've tried someone at school going out.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
That's it. I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, it's not easy, right, Okay, Well I look forward
to hearing the results of Marley's run.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I will say that George the year threes, George is
my nephew. They did it, They ran.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
How did you go?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
He came fourth? That's branding. But he had to let
me just tell you, he had to go in the
grade above because he started school late.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
So he's like.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Nine to be fair. So if you had gone into
his grade, yes, he was did.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I dropped the kids off this morning and I brought
George with me, and he was petrified, like because it
was the year above, because he had to race against
the older kids.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Did you tell the Peterlow story? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And then you were like a young Mandy Jo who
went to regionals one time ran with would you like
me to tell them the story of ash Wicks who
went to work? And yeah you should? What place did
you come to? Ozzi's did not finish? I can't remember.
I didn't like, I didn't win. I didn't win ausies clearly,
no way. What did they come? I think in a
four hundred. I got fourth. That's the closest shouse.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Well, regionals you played before.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Before I continue, I want to tell you something really quick.
How much do you reckon? You spent on school uniforms
for Oscar.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
No idea and April bought the original ones and then
they have a second hand shop at the and it's
dirt cheap, like five bucks for a pair. Shure.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
See I got they upsold me.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm surprised by that. You're not easy to upsell. I
know I panicked unless it's business class.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Now how much so we made the mistake?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Boys is easy. Boys?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
You give them shorts and a polo. Right, yeah, for
girls is hard. Let me tell you. Let me take
this is for maciek okay, well Macey and to school.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
She will have the.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Option of a dress or a squort, skirt, shorts and
a polo.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Marley was like I want the dress, and we're like, great,
dress is beautiful, you can.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Have the dress.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think may still go the dress to tell her
to shut up.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Okay, let me call her right now when she wants
that dress. Don't do it.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Because they all started on the dress and then all
the older kids.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Are in skirts. No squirts. Okay, that's just gonn take
a little wile. Get my head around the scot scoort.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
A scort is a skirt, but shorts.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay with you like jawns, like jean shorts, very good,
very good, but they're called like you have to go
in and ask for sports sneams, also jeekers.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
But I had to get Marlek. She now has these
dresses that she won't wear, so I have to get
her scorts. And Apollo and I went into the uniform
shop this morning and I said, can I have two
squats and two polos? And she was like, of course,
and then she went for the brand new ones and
I was like, but there was a line of people
and I was like, I was, I panicked. I didn't
ask for second one hundred bucks for two for two scots.
(17:42):
It's such a raw two squats and two polows. It's
a rawt but like you can pass them down a loller.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I guess, thank you, But I know that we've got
the winter uniform coming up. What's the winter uniform? I'm
glad you asked. It's a whole new fucking uniform.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Like pants.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, so pants it's a button up shirt for the boys,
for the boys. What I think the shoes stay the same.
I hope so. I would hope so, But otherwise I'm
going to be out of pocket.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, home was button up shirt.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Yeah, I don't think. I think we're going to refuse.
We've fucking pushed back on that dude pushing into a hole.
If they want to make oscar run like four kilometers
for cross country, allow that, but you've got to put
your foot down, give.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Him a bear of pants.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, look, I don't know. I just know that the
secondhand stuff is so much cheaper.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
You've got a man, don't. They saw me and they were.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
They pulled your pants down as soon as you walked
in here.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I got bent over, bent over in front of it,
in front No, she didn't even spit, she did even spit.
Just bent me over in front of my child as well.
Marley was like dad, and I was like, don't look
at this.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Molly May's like while he's spending. When I was asking
for something, I got sucked by a pair of Scots. No,
are they really long to oscar shorts like shawts? No?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Three like three quarter they're like three quarters. They're like
long shorts or short longs. We don't know, we've got
to pull.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
The other day, he's like, can you do my string up?
I was like yeah, but the things up here. I
was pretty much doing up his drawstring and he's fucking
up his chest.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
And that's probably why he came, because you know, the
shoe fell off.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's different. It was a wardrobe malfunction of a different kind.
With Oscar, we had our first parent teaching interview. You
had your schedule, you wouldn't know.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
It's not in the newsletter or.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
The awkward silence. Now, it's really starting to make me
feel weird. I'm trying, Ash. I know I'm doing a
great dad. I'm doing the best that I can a
great dad.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
And it's a school's fault that you can't get onto
the news.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I can't fucking I can't get in there. I can't subscrip.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You and I are very different.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
It's like Bergheim nightclub. You can't get in, are you
do you? You obviously have the big group chat. Oh yeah,
I ignore that.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Oh man. I was like Ashes left immediately before I
even saw read one mess.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
People were asking you about lunchboxes and I was like,
too hot, too hard.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Okay, parent, teacher, have you been scheduleding for your parents?
Had last week?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
You had your stuff? Me too? Yeah, it's quick. Do
you think I suppose at the end of the term now,
fucking hell, life goes fast. Oh man, it does go quick.
I'm like, you're only forty sorry, fine, Yeah, I'm gonna
have to get you.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I don't know if Oscar was like this, Marley was
really and it was it was me, Laura Marley was
there and Mary's teacher, and Marley was being really silly,
like in front of the teacher. Yeah, she was like
she was she was like nervous, silly.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Well, she was just being like like bum we we
in front of the teacher. And I was like, what
do you shut up?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And then I was like, well, you know you're gonna
behave and then she was like smack him in the face.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
It was they had the report out there.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
She was, you know when sometimes in front of other
people she was being super silly, very I was embarrassed.
That was.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I was just embarrassed we didn't take Oscar. Yeah, it was.
I feel like they're better without.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, no one wants to hear what
someone has to say about you in front of you
to someone else.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
It was it was a light touch. It was like, yeah,
it was like here's a picture that she drew. Yeah, Like,
what do they say about Oscar?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
He's good, apparently he's really I don't know where who
this kid is. Let's put it this way, I don't
know who this He's really cool.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
He's s CR, isn't he s r C?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
As I was close, he's really Apparently, he's really kind,
he's really helpful. He's really he's like really like picks
up things really fast.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I've been assaulted by Oscar. You tried to kidnap He's
a violent young man. You tried to kidnap him.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
If anything, you should be embarrassed about that, because he
beat the ship out of you.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
So, like all and all really really good, except like classic,
my son does get distracted easily.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
I was like, yeah, that makes total sense.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
But otherwise really good. But I felt like the whole
thing was like really daunting, even for us. I was like,
I'm nervous.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
What's a teacher like?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So there's two teachers they do a job share for
the first term because the regular teachers on long service, right,
and one of them was heavily pregnant. I'm talking like
that about like she's got just finishes up this week
because she's gonna give birth to a child. And then
both lovely. But I felt like it's the first time
experiencing that, like as it was for you. But April
(22:58):
and I both felt like it was nerve racking for
some reason. I don't know why. Everything was fine, thank God,
but like I can imagine, like if you've got like
quite a naughty kid, it would be pretty daunting.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh yeah, it'd be awful if that were struggling.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Do you know what? I was really really nervous until
I had to sit in one of those kids chairs
and I thought, this is all silly.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, you're like your knees are up by you.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I felt like I felt like I was getting in trouble.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I was like, oh shit, And then I was like,
this is a bit silly on this chair.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I was I don't know the teacher listens to this podcast,
but I was. After five minutes, I was kind of
like I was struggling to stay focused.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Now my teacher actually has a little thing for Maddie Ja.
I gifted the Schools of books for book Fair? Did
you give my calendar? I thought that was inappropriate, but actually,
just on the calendar really quick. I went and dropped
Macy off at her kindy and one of the teachers
came up and said, Laurel's got one of your calendars
in the staff room. She was gifted for christ Laurel
(24:00):
was She was like, oh, I love Maddie j And
I was like, yeah, he's all right. He only made
it to regionals, but yeah, you've got a big fan
over there. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
So maybe I should come to the next parent teachers,
me and you two gay dads? Yeah, how is Macy?
By the way, Macy's good.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Macy has learned to toilet train herself somehow. I don't
know how.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Just one day she was like I'm finished, and I.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Was like, okay, good time. I was like, time to
change and happy walking, and she's sitting on the toilet. Hm,
I ordered she again, she's three and a bit.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Okay, that's like prime potty training.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
But I didn't.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I feel like she's watching Oscar.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Dude, what it is?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Oscar?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
He's now parenting your other child. Well that he's the
man of the he you can start paying for ship.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Then he was like for gods, But like I felt
like I didn't like both my kids, I don't even
think about like I didn't have to do any real
toilet training, like like what other than going.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
We should we?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I think Laura would always watch Marley and she'd be like,
I want to do that, like I want to, I
want to I want to experience that ride achievable goal
I'm being on the toilet. So Lola was pretty easy
even even now. I don't know if Macy's like this Lola.
Whenever she's doing a little activity, she locks into it
to the point where she pushes the needle very far
(25:27):
when it comes to like knitting to wi. So she'll
be coloring something in and she won't want to finish it,
and she won't she won't want to go to the
toilet until she's finished coloring in and then.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And then she's like, ah still does that. He relisself.
He was like drawing and he's like, I'm like, we're
holding under your dig for mate, go.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Into the piss and like, okay, we right back, and
he sprinted off. Macy's doing obviously just all of a sudden,
doing ships on the toilet, right, and then I'll be like.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Still wiping though, right she no, She's banging on wiping
and I'm like, what is going I got a check,
which is weird.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It's so weird, just like be like, come here and
let me check your asshole. What's a fucking weird thing.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Is It's weird when you come in there and you're like, alright,
term for the asshole inspection. Don't know if I grab
your toes?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Hello, hello, oh my god, everything's everything seems to be
on now cough.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Sometimes Laola's like I've finished and I'm like, let me
have a check.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Oh my god, this ship everywhere?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah yeah, it looks like when you used to when
you're a kid, and then you get a drop of
paint put it in a piece of paper and a
butterfly butterfly and I'm like, did you wipe and Lalla's
like yeah, yeah, wall and I'm like, God, you need help.
And I'm waiting to go into the bathroom and just
see a ship on the side of the fucking tour
like oh yeah, just waiting for it. But she does
(26:46):
this quirky thing where she'll be like daddy like yeah,
She's like, can you get me a book and then
I walked in and she was like, I didn't at
this stage, I.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Didn't know that she was on the tour.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And I walked past the toll the doors wide open,
like it looked at my right. And then she's like
holding the book and I was like, what.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
The hell is? And then can she read? No?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
And then I was like what do you use the
book for it?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
She just helps me relaxed, and I was like reading
the Financial Times.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
And she does this weird She's doing this weird walk
at the moment where it's like a real smug like
like the like the daker on the shirts by the
way shirts like that, where it's like she like struts
off down the hallway like she's just successfully back a
massive turn out.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
What is she reading the toilet?
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh? Just whatever book she can get a hand on.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Good on her, Good on you.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
That's great, that's great parenting take for I love how
you like, I don't know who's doing it. April's d
like blood, sweat and tears, making sure that leaves rolled off,
and you're like, it's she's just done it herself.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Shout out to April.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
April, Sure did you ask Ash?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
We would normally do lies, but I'm gonna I'm gonna
rest lies for this week.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Is that a lie?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Gotcha? Gotcha? We're gonna rest lies.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Ok.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
We're going to bring back lies next week.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
We are, but a little.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Reminder that if you do have any lies, we wan't
really obscure ones. You know, the crazy, the better send
them through to us. But we're going to jump straight
into listener questions, Ash, what precious thing you that's beautiful?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Thank you, thank you?
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Next question, what precious thing did you or your kids destroy?
This is off the back of just little mentioned little
nod to your dad destroying the art peace last week?
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I do have something before this
as please. I hate to always flash back, but I can.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I just say, don't you dare apologize for hating a
flashback because I love them.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Let's go right back. How old also was about oscars age.
I lived in Narrabeen in what they call an asbestos house.
It's funny because I live in asbestos house now, so
I've gone full circle. They say, closed the circle. Here
we are and my dad's quite an avid surfer. And
(29:17):
when we were kids, we were all coming back from somewhere.
I think it was like it must have been a
weekend because no one was working, no one was at school.
We had one family car. We went very well off,
and I remember we did a surf check on the
way home from wherever we were, and I recall Dad
being like, it's good, got to get these kids home
so that he can go. So we drove home. It
(29:39):
had quite a long driveway out the side of the
house that on the left side was a fence that was.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Like just like a timber fence, and it's it was
not the pretty side.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Of the tim offence. You now, there's an ugly side.
It was the ugly side because we're poor. Someone else
payer defense, Okay, And I recall us driving up the
driveway and getting out of the car.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
It can I will say, it is quite a flex
to have a defence, to have the fence on the
nice side.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Yeah, what's your fence situation?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
It's definitely nice. You're a nice guy.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Look, it is the nice side on.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Both sides of the house. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Oh wow, I know, sorry, must be very nice.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
So I don't know what it feels. I'm going to
relate to your story, but I just I can't know,
I don't get it and didn't get it to me
feel poor.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Anyway, So we've gone up. I am on the passenger
side behind Mum in my chair.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Anyway, so we've all gotten out of the car.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And I was so so young, so there's like the
memory is not completely clear, what it's hazy, But anyway,
we've all gotten out of the car. Dad's put his
board in the car and gone to reverse back down
the driveway and and I don't know if you recall,
on the poor side of the fence is where the
posts are that keep the structural integrity of said fence.
(31:08):
And the back door on the passenger side, which was
my side, had been slightly left open, and he had
reversed down the driveway, hence ripping the car door off.
Oh yeah, expensive exercise. So think about this. Think a
four door car with three doors and a big hole
(31:33):
where the fourth door is meant And how is the
fence fence well built? The poor side the rich person
that I was like, not my ridge side of the fence,
and it was perfectly fine from what I recall, but
it did it did rip the car door clean off. However,
(31:53):
my as you can imagine, my dad was rope because
there's two things that have happened here. He's missed the serve,
which is probably the thing he was most upset about
it in the end, and the car is missing a door,
our only car that we have.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
That dad's source of getting to work.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And I think at the time he had like three
jobs because he worked in sales this time.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Okay, so I apologize.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
So this was not this is pre sales rep days.
No need to yell, Okay, I won't. I refuse not to.
He had a couple of different jobs in different areas.
But anyway, he was really ropeable about it, and he
was ropeable about it for years.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
It was the sort of thing where they bring it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Back up all the time.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
He can I just can I just confirm for one second? Yes,
was it your fault?
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Like was it? Were you in the was it?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I'm imagining right now that everything's happening really quickly, your
dad's like, get out of the fucking car, gotta go,
gotta go.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Maybe it'll happen too quick. You didn't get a chance.
You're grade too, you're grade too, you're like seven.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, so it was on my side, my door. Hence
my fault.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
So I've no, no, no, no. Let me finish the story
then we can ask questions. So it was I copped
the blame because that's my door.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
That's unfair. Sorry, it's not unfair. I don't think it's
unfair to It's an assumption. That's what that is, whether
it's unfair or not.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
He assumed. He assumed, They all assumed.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Everyone's assumed.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
If you're the driver, you check the doors before you drive.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
For years, it was brought up, always, always brought up
for so long, come on, thank you, let go now,
all the way until teenage years, where it was continually
brought up to be it went from being like how
pissed off they were about it and how much it
(33:43):
costs them in the end to it being like an
embarrassing story, like tell people ruin the family. I just
did this somewhere around my sixteenth birthday. You didn't ruin
the family, as you chose to ignore that. It's again,
oh I missed. It's okay, around my sixteenth birthday an
admission of someone admitted to actually doing it my sister.
(34:07):
So back then, my sister has opened the door. Older
sister got out on that side with me, left the
door open. Wow, it ripped off. She pointed the finger
at me. Fifteen years or something, I say, twelve years
something like that. Ten twelve years had gone by her
(34:29):
keeping her mouth shut, enjoying me being brought up for
years and years.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
So she just stood there watching you get beaten, pretty
much smacked up earlyhood.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Where she has finally said it was me.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
What was the trigger point for her admitting I can't remember.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
I just the guilt was too much.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I think that the guilt got to her evengual and
it might have got to the point where you.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Would hold onto that to your deathbed. Really, yeah, you
would expect like if she was about to go, she'd
be like, by the.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Way the car door was meat, Yeah, fully, what has happened?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I was unsure, like what why she wanted to clear
a conscience?
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I'm not sure. I mean, we're still talking. This is
fifteen years ago that she cleared a conscience. And I
was like, I remember for I remember for so long
it was like I because the car was fucking ruined,
pretty much like it was an old car anyway, and
it was like I was always the kid in the
family who ruined the car. My sister could never do
any wrong. It shaped the rest of my childhood. I
(35:34):
reckon because it was like, I remember when you.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Fuck the car up, your piece of shit. Shit, not
that my.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Parents spoke to me like that. Mom might have that
would yeah wow, but yeah for so long, and my
sister would do the they're like, you remember that, and
then eventually, like I.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Said, how's your relationship now with your sister?
Speaker 2 (35:56):
That's great, We're great.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
We're great friends until I get her back eventually.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
But yeah, it's a scarring moment. But I was the
precious item that I had ruined of my parents.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
I'm so sorry you had to experience that. It's like
those stories of the person who was like incorrectly charged
with murder and they spent the whole life in prison.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
That's exactly how I felt.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
I felt like I was incarcerated an innocent man. Yes,
I felt like it was In the move the Hurricane, No, okay,
it's let me just give you the just really quick.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's quite a long about a car door that gets broken.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
It's about a car door that gets written. It's about
a boxer who gets framed for a murder. A long
time ago, and there was a really famous song called
the Hurricane.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
To me right now, I'm getting nothing but one word
screaming into my vision.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
What do you mean, Hollywood movie imagine they're making a
blockbuster movie out of me ruining the card?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
This has got I mean, I think screenwriters would be
salivating right now.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Years I lived in shamee I lived. I was suppressed
for years in my own family home.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Yeah, betrayed.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
I was betrayed by your own legend. What I have
never been able to trust ever again?
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Anyone? Anyone?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Wow, the sight of a car door like it s inspiral,
sends me spiraling.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, every time you shot a car door flashbacks.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah. Now, I'm like every time you see a fence,
anytime someone weirs about me slamming their door, I'm like, well,
you gotta be sure, you gotta be careful, and you
gotta be sure.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
This has got to be made into a movie. Surely
we should do it.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
It'll we know.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
A start Man Arrival was a hurricane based on a
true story.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
It is a true story, but there you go, And
there was a ten minute song the was it. This
is the story of the hurricane, but this is.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
A story of a car door.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
How's the go again, Jess, can you just get that
song up really quick?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
How does it go?
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Again?
Speaker 3 (38:06):
It's not important anyway. It's goot feature film written all
over it.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Who would play me? Probably young?
Speaker 1 (38:11):
You have to play yourself, dude. Probably with Ai you could.
They could do like a young version of yourself. You
wouldn't need to.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Have like an upper up and what up and coming
young actor to play me. That's what I want, okay,
and then the teenage version of me. Don't make him
look as awkwards idea as a teenager. I want like
a nice, pristine teenager.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
I'll do it the pristine teenager, can we That's a
bit much.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Very very very Harvey Weinstein of you.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
That's what I was going for.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
There's two things that I I originally said that in
my mind. So I didn't break anything. Actually I did
break a few things.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Just twenty four other women's hearts on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Jesus, A couple of things, just old old note. We
we ended up having our neighbors. It wasn't like a
mountain bike. It was like a cruiser bike. Did a
few jumps on it.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Sick.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
I used to I used to was. I was very bad.
I used to love riding bikes. But I would always
like trying and hit jumps fall off.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
You got to hit jumps, you got hit the jump.
What's the point of having a bike if you're not
hitting jump?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Well, said sick, So broke the bike. My dad when
I was this is like really young. My dad had
these machetes.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Okay, what's the name ivan that.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
He had bought he was working in Pappa Ne, Guinea.
There were like these like carved machetes. They were like
I can't again, very hazy.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
This is when I'm let's hope. So that's like six.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
So when you do get questioned about the machetes.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
And I remember they were like not machetes, you would
use the old machetes that would be like on a mantelpiece
on display.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
In a psychopath's house.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yes, okay, And I have this memory with my oldest
sister or brother where we took the machetes. We went
down into the backyard there was a big rock and
we would then smash the rock with a machete and
it made little sparks and we were like, how cool
is this. We're making fire And we just like bashed
the hell out of the machete until they were all
(40:16):
like dinted in from the rock because we like making sparks,
and then we just put them back until my dad
came home and was like, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Okay, you ruined the man's hobby pretty much his prize possessions.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Do we know what they cost? Though?
Speaker 3 (40:33):
No I don't, but they were priceless. Yeah, why do
kids do dumb shit like that?
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Then I will just say as well, last thing, this
one is etched into my mind. We used to have
a ride on lawnmower shut up, and I used to
really love the ride on lawnmower. It's very slow, but
we had at one point a little slope and.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
To hit the jumps on that too. Well, I.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Got the hose out and we're like with then a
bit of an incline. I wet it so all the
grass was like real greasy, and then I would hit
it at pace and then turn and drift and do
a bit sick that is good. And then I did
that a number of times until I kind of went
faster and faster and sharper and sharper, until I ended
(41:17):
up rolling the ride on lawnmower down the hill and
it ended up upside down. Luckily I didn't have the
blades on and I jumped off the right on lawn
mower so I was not crushed, so like full action
movie jump with action packs.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
And then you're like, that was sick, Let's do it again.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
And then I was like I couldn't I couldn't lift,
I couldn't correct the lawnmower it and I think I
just left home. I just my mum was away and
my dad was coming home, and I was like, well
for me, yeah, see guys, my backpack off to the
bus and I went to a MAT's house.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
A police weren't falsely accused. Man, I've got a question
for you. I know we're not really in the you
know we did last week talk about Christmas and the
guy that had the fucking Christmas music on.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Yes, but in terms of gift giving, of course, birthdays,
birthdays are.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
They do happen throughout the year.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I am aware of that. Actually, sorry, I didn't mean
to just a reminder. I did remind you about Laura's
birthday the other day.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Yes, when's your birthday again?
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I'm not telling you because you forget every year and
you're like, what July seven.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
July six, your April. You're coming up. I'm going to
missage April.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
You're the worst. What are the worst you? What are
the worst presents you can give a child? It's birthday, Christmas, regardless,
just presents. Top three? Give me your top three worst.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
I'm going to start with number three. A carryoke machine.
That was my number two.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
I think they're like they're a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Well, I told that story that I got one from
my mother in law and I hit it and we
never and the kids never asked about it ever again.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
You'll play with it for a day, a week at
the most, and then you got you got to bury.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
That one day it was gone. Literally it was Boxing day,
and I'm like this.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
There is one thing that kids do not need. It's
a piece of equipment to amplify their voice.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
You might as well give them a drum kit.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yes, Like I say, for anyone out there, don't give
karaoke machines to kids.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
No good one. What's your do you want to do?
Speaker 1 (43:31):
What's your number three?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
My number three is hot wheels tracks. I thought that
would be a great gift in theory. Yeah, when I
first heard Oscar, I was like, oh, who love hot
wheels track? But there's a couple of things with them.
The firstly is the hot wheels. Cars get left on
the ground and in the dark if their flips upside down,
eat a couple of plastic sharp wheels. And man, you
(43:54):
know when people are talking about stepping on blocks, step
on a hot wheels car, bro oh my god, that's
one thing and the other thing is and it might
just be my kid. The frustration because they car never
makes it to the end of the track, or the
track bits get lost, or he'll be.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Like, I'm going to do this track and it's gonna work.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And because they don't understand physics at that age, well
neither do I. It I know what's kind of going
to work and what's not going to work. The frustration
just I just end up. I've hidden them. I've got
a box full of them, and I've hidden them because
it's the worst.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
My second, my number two on my list slime that
is bad. Slime is just like, if there is one,
if anyone brings in slime into this household, within seconds,
I'm putting that in the fucking bin.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
I'm gonna hard slime through it.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Because it just like it gets everywhere, gets on the
carpet gets in the kid's hair, stinks.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
That smell it.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Like it just ends up every where and then it
dries hard. It's it's hard to get off.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
How would you define that smell.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
It's like a chemical chemical, synthetic rubbery concox.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
It's nuclear. That's a very good word for its nuclear.
It's essentially that you're bringing in nuclear waste into a household.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
And usually because it's slime and it's meant to be
appillion with kids, it's bright colored and the kids don't
get it, like, they don't they don't know how to
play with it. Okay, they don't know how it works.
How does slime work? It's like what are you trying
to what are you trying to achieve with slime? It's
like even a big thing, a chewing gum, like it
just end up fucking everywhere.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
And no need for it. There should be. Hey, there's
an election coming up. One thing that I want to
have as a rule legislation ban slime.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Will stop full stop. Yeah, there's a whole aisle dedicated
to slime in like some shops, the slim shop. Now aha,
number two for me? Do you know what I hate?
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Going in again? In theory, it's like this would be cool.
I also going to love this kids.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
You anything remote control drives me fucking wild.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
I think the first time that you get given a
remote control calf, your kid does and you you're in
charge of setting up, it's like the novelty wars wears
off real quick before it's like annoying. They usually make
annoying sounds. The batteries never last that long, are expensive,
(46:22):
and then there's the meltdown when you don't have the
appropriate batteries, and I just think you're setting the parent
up there for a lot of failures after you've given
the initial cool looking gift of the rally car. And
I was like that sick And then he crashes into
something and it breaks and and he's like, oh, I
need to do one.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
I didn't know that that's very.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Anything remote control. It's simple, okay. My number one number
one melted bead kits. Oh you know, you know the
ones where you have like a triangle shape and then
you put the beads on and you iron it like
it's so delicate, it's so near, and but I can
(47:07):
barely finish the shape, and trying to get a toddler
not toddler that because are not toddler. Sorry, I apologize
to try and get my child under the age of
ten to complete that.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Like it's just it's essentially it becomes a point where
you're just playing with it.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
I'm doing and the beads end up fucking everywhere.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
There's a moment when done, when you're ironing, like the
choices of I made in life for this to be
what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
I can't tell you in those those cupboards down there,
how many times I've gone to get something out, like
a charger and then I've hit the bead bowl and
beads of bloody who When the kids are like, we
play with the beads, it's it's just it's awful. It's
(47:58):
guaranteed to end up in tears. The kids are frustrated,
they're annoyed, and then like when you do iron it
and then they're like, they're not happy with it.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
It's just no beads. I'm gonna give you my number
one now please. And I received this from my sister,
the one who blamed me for the car thing.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
So thanks, Beth. A kazoo go on.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
So A kazoo is a small mouth whistle sort of
thing that goes.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
Is it kind of like they had the world Cupella.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
It's like a minivozella and the kazoo family.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
It's it's it's one of the kazoo relatives.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Yes, it's an offspring of the kazoo.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
I thought say so.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
It's like a baby kazoo.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Right, no way, vizella sorry, baby Vouverzella is a 's evolution,
the evolution of life. Where we going? Where am I
going with it? Let me continue though. My child, Oscar
was two for his second birthday. Got him. It's like
a metal kazoo, and the problem is with the kazoo,
(48:58):
is it doesn't. It's like a harmonica, also part of
the Ververzella family. It's actually the distant cousin of the kazoo.
It's a wind instrument. Would you just like the trumpet anyway? Sorry,
we could go on all that. With a harmonica, you
can blow out and you can suck in. Yes, and
it makes noise. Same with the kazoo, but it's more annoying.
(49:20):
It's like, oh, man, if we get insert a kazoo here, yes,
that'd be great.
Speaker 6 (49:27):
Oh my dad, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, fine, fine,
fine one, I like dressing dance prettings.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
But she brought him a kazoo for a second birthday.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
But the problem with second birthday, Yeah, but she did.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
It from on purpose, you know why? She did it, asshole,
to annoy the shit out of me. And a week
later I was like, this fucking kazoo. I've got to
get rid of it. But the problem is I kept
throwing it away and it kept reappearing.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
You know how, like just was a cursed kazoo.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
It was like a boomerang, not related to the kazoo.
Just to clarify, that's more of a hobby throwing hobby.
No wind instrument with a It just kept turning back
up and I think it was crushed.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
It was.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
It continued to make noise, and all what happen is
at like six o'clock in the morning, Oscar would like
wake up and I'd hear this in my own personal hell.
So if you're listening to this list, do not buy
unless you really hate.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
Them A kazoo. A kazoo for a child.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Also vi visella love that in that nothing nothing in
the related instrument. Please unless they're talented at.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
It, which remember, my kid is talented at that age.
My dad got a harmonica.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
My dad plays guitar, and he wanted to play guitar
and harmonica at the same time, which I don't know
if you've seen the contraption that that is goes over
your neck and it holds the Dylan. Yeah, very good reference.
Thank you, very very good. You've seen it. And he
got a harmonica. I remember my sister we hated it.
(51:34):
We all hated it. But I think he knew what
he was doing as well. Do I just live in
a family full of evil people where he would just
be like eventually we had to hide it from him.
He's a fully grown man. To talk about full circle,
I'm going full circle again again, cursed by win Win
related instruments.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
And on that note, it's been a pleasure. It's been
a joy. If you have any listener questions, please submit
them to us either on social media two Doting Dads Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Give us your lists, your list of toys that you
should just well, things you just shouldn't get a child. Weapons,
don't get them weapons, no michetes. I wouldn't recommend it.
They'll end up damaged or they'll kill each other just
don't get any like ka Zoo. And if you enjoyed
this episode, please leave a review, subscribe, send to a friend,
(52:27):
whatever you like, or you can join us on socials.
Two Doting Dads on Instagram, TikTok. And of course I
said that before. I just I said that.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I've already said to social media.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
I'm just gonna through a lot of trauma these days.
Bro repeat things I said it.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
And if you want to leave us a review, subscribe,
comment very let us know.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
That's yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
Hey, we'll get out of here. Is anything else?
Speaker 3 (52:50):
I think that's it. We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Bye. You are with another man? How's it go again?
I can't remember?
Speaker 1 (53:03):
He was in the army, he drove tanks, gaba.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
It was it again? You were with another man? Hang,
and I'll think of it that it's not your best?
What's that? Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see
and community. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
(53:28):
Torrestrate Islander peoples today.
You're not going to mention anything about my appearance today.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
It's not always about you, bro.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You know, I just got a little haircut and even
said anything.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I did notice it. Well, if you notice it, what
do you say something I would like to see from you?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I've actually gone a bit. This is a bit ash esque.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yeah, I would like to see a little bit less side.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Burn less side burn Yeah, what do you mean at
the moment? Less?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Like a tape it? More more tape it side back? Yeah,
it is a bit tape it. Yeah, I really like it.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
The length of the back.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, but I think that needs to be shorter. Really.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Yeah, it looks good even more. Yeah, just that bit.
I can't tell if you're setting me up.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
You're right on track. Okay, I'll show you later what
I mean. Okay, I also got a haircut too, Have
you not noticed?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
I get sorry? You look great and you've grown your beard. Yeah,
what's going on there?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Me? Life crisis?
Speaker 4 (00:46):
Got I have not seemed like a vertle that front.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Welcome back to two dating dads. I am Maddie Jay
and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about
haircuts apparently. So it's the good, the bad, the good,
the bad haircuts and the relatable haircuts.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
What's a relatable haircut?
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Which feel age?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Just short back in sides? It is, Yeah, it's been
done to.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Death, hasn't that.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
It's a bit it's overkay.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
People are leaving the back now because they're like, it's
been done to death.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I feel like I'm jumping really late on the bandwagon
of having it long on the back.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I like it. I think you're in good. You've got
to remember we're in now. Well, you're in your late thirties, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I was at an event where someone said how old
are you? And I said, I'm turning thirty eight and
they went.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Oh shit, you're almost forty.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
The fuck ore.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I was like, how old are you and they're like,
I'm twenty six.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Oh it's wild.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
I'm almost forty dude, almost forty.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
You know what I've noticed is that the biggest change
the closer I get to.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Forty one sec. No advice we'll be giving in this podcast.
Thank you, Let's move forward. Ye, sorry, thank you. The
lawyers were stressing out just then. I was stressed.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I've noticed that the back hair, like you know you
have a little is it called like a welcome mat.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
What's it called above your welcome mat? Yeah, welcome mat
doesn't I don't have it anymore.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
You trimmed it? Yeah, go on, just look away.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Oh god, you missed the spot. A couple of little
straight A couple of little straight hairs?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
Who did that?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Was that very hard to shave that region?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
This is going to shave that reason?
Speaker 3 (02:39):
How would you do it?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
This is if anyone who know. This is like the
lower back lower above the butt crack. Yeah, where the
love handles are.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
For some.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Jesus, it's like run where my back six pack is?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
I do like the twist, the twist the I go under.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Ill just go right under, and I go from my
lower back right through to my gooch.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Or my taint.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
If you would, it looks very good. Why did you
trim yours?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
I want to look better at a bathing suit dream winter.
You've had that for a long time.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
It was creeping its way up to my shoulders.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Well, dude, that's what That's what I'm experiencing. Mine used
to just be that little part there. It's now like
it's up to my laps.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Yeah, this is like two dokin granddads. What the fuck?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Why is my pubic hair waited until I've almost hit
the age of forty to then go ah, we will
start growing on the back.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Yes, get it. Boys like you won't.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Notice why now if you're a medical expert, tell me.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
But some people were hairy in school, like man children.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I haven't made whose back was back in ass hairy
since we were like fourteen.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, I only got under our hair when I was eighteen. Yeah,
that's it feels good to get that off my chest.
The look on your face. I remember like every morning
looking under my arms in high school being like come on,
like waiting for that first little sprout to happen in
the garden. I'm like, at any second, now it'll happen.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
And kids at school would have given you so much shit.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Oh yeah, like swimming carnivals. It was you know, yeah,
it was freak. I used to love the old.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
The old comeback would be like you thought you had
a pube until you pissed out of it. I never
heard that that was a glassy Oh god, yeah, and
you could get you be like your one you don't
have your pubes, and two you got a tiny dick.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
It's like a double up. It's the double the double
like it's the one too.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
A little while ago, Ash, we were talking about the
fact that Oscar had performed very well at his cross country.
What place did he get?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It was ninth, But because your shoe fell off, couldn't
catch up.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Of course that morning, who was tying the shoelaces.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I don't know if you recall it was a Belk
crush shoe. I apologize, Yeah, you should. I apologize, And
I was like, oh, that's funny. We don't have country. Yeah,
you were saying from year three up.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, you're wrong. I was very wrong.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I've tried so hard to subscribe to the school newsletter.
Why would you want to do that, because because things
like cross country, that's how we find out I'm not
good East to have parade.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
I'm not getting told anything. I'm in the dark.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Can't you get emails but the newsletter. That's all in
the newsletter, but I don't receive. I purposely gave them
zero emails for me. They go to April.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Would see where opposite and our found that Laura, is
that's true, Laura, that they could be like your child
is being held at gunpoint and you need to come
to the school to pick it up, pick it up,
pick her up, and Laura will like see that like
a week later and be like, where's where's Marley? A
week still being held hostage. She doesn't read her emails. Yeah, okay,
God love her.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
You and April together would be terrible. Me and Laura
together terrible.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
So it works if we ever are inclined to swap partners.
Let's just remember this conver station. Well we know it's
just on that really quick.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Ever went to a party and there was a bowl
at the front that said three keys in here as
a joke. I must have been a joke. Must have
been which party? A birthday party? Don't know, but we're
going back next week.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
So my sister goes to the same school. Sister is
very like, she's.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
How old is your sister?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
I mean very good, very good, very good, very good,
some of your best work now. But she is she's
dialed in to the to the school newsletter. She is
the kind of mum who like works at the canteen.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
You write it right the school.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
She's pretty she's the editor. She's the editor. And she
was like, hey, you got next Wednesday? You got She
actually listened to the podcast and was like, just you
know you do have a cross country it is coming up,
so you are welcome, and I was like fuck. I
was like, So I went to Marley and I was like,
she's actually a pretty good runner. Not to like and
I sound like a like my child is so.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Fast, so smart, so fast, she could fly. But I
sat her down and I was like, hey, you got
something coming up and it's going to be very exciting.
I used to like cross country. Yep. I used to
be the champion of my school. We're going to sit
here and he's going to glowed about.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You went to regionals, went to my auntie.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Actually regionals on carry on.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
We had zones and then we had regionals after zones,
I was one step away from making states.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I'm standing by it.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
When you get to ausies, bro, did you make ouzies?
Oh yeah, for what?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Lots of things go on to my jump, long jump
four hundred meters, beach sprinting flags, battle board.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I was trying to have a moment.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And anything else I can I could. The list goes on, yeah,
well what happened here? Ah beer, Well he's naturally sad.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Wow, just ship on me. When I'm trying to have
a moment, with the listeners. So it was a big
deal cross country for me. You know, not all of
us went to Aussie's. Some of us were happy with
just winning Reach of the Stars. I say, well said,
And I went to Smiley and said, you have cross
country coming up, you have to run. And it was
like I was telling her that she was going to
lose a limb. I was like, hey, next Wednesday, you're
(08:15):
going to lose a limb. It's going to get cut
off at school, but it's going to be for a
good cause. She was like, why why do they make
us run? And I was like, it's just it's cross
country is a it's an event. You're going to run
against the people in your class. And she's like, but
for what what are we competing for? And I was like,
to be the fastest.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
She needs like a real reason.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Yeah, she doesn't get sports. She's not like a like
she would rather dance. And I was trying to explain
to her, like there's a reason we do this, and
she was like I don't understand, Like what are we
trying to achieve here? Because you have to Yeah, I
was like, it's fun because you get to you get
to run.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Run with your friends. And there's two types of kids.
I think, kids that like to run for fun and
kids that like to run competitively. Oscar is the competitive one.
I can't be like, oh, just run over there. He'll
be like timey. You know.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
It's like you've got like a little whippet dog that's great. Yeah,
I've got like a docile great dane. That's like, why
would I run? Like, you know, what's gonna What am
I going to get at the end of it? And
I'm like, you don't get anything. You get like a
ribbon if you win, if you come first thing or third,
if you come fourth. You don't get anything. And she's like,
that's a ship deal.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
She sees the logic in it on it and I
kind of do realize it is.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
It's a weird fucking concept, it is. I think, like
it's like it's very gladiator asque, like you will all
fight to the jask. I'm all run, drop and die
and then we'll learn spelling.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah do you think like that? They're like they get
them involved, So it's more like I don't know, like
the getting involved part.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You know, you just gotta just okay, Can I tell
you a story?
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
At my school. When I was growing up, this is
Brookfield Primary School. Shout out to anyone from Brookfield and
Queensland close down. I heard absolutely not. It's thriving, it's doing.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
They were like, who's going to go to reach it's expanding.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Fuck you.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
There was a young boy, Peter Low.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I thought he could say no.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Peter Low was in my sister's grade, one year older,
and he was the poster child across country. He was
someone who had cerebral palsy and every single year he
would run the cross country. It would take him a
lot longer than everybody else. He would run this race
knowing he's not going to win the race. He just
(10:42):
wanted to be involved. And when he would come in
at the finish line, we would have the whole school
cheering him on because every single year he got involved
he did it. And my mam always said to us,
you're so lucky. He's so lucky to be able to run.
You have two working arms, two working legs. Peter Low
(11:03):
would fucking kill for that. Yeah, And I was like,
you're right. We would always run it, doing it knowing
that Peter Low could do it. And if Peter Low
can do it, then we're going to do.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
It as well. That's pretty encouraged. I'd love to know
where Peter Low is. My mum was trying to google
in my class. I think he's an accountant really, but
it was amazing he was. He could have easily have
sat out the cross country totally, but every single year
he fucking did it.
Speaker 3 (11:28):
Just got it done, got it done.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
That's just like, did you tell that story of Marley?
Speaker 1 (11:32):
And I said, Marley, let me tell you the story
of Peter Low. And she was like, what are you
talking about. I was like, Brookfield Primary School.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
That's exactly what you would have been thinking.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
And I was like, you're so lucky to be able
to go out there and you can run. You're so blessed.
She was, I don't know if the story was really hidden. Yeah,
And every morning she'd fucking be in tears because I'm like,
don't forget, you've got cross country.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
So you kept spooking with the cross country yeah, wa,
like that's tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
With the pigs with the megaphone.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
They got to start training. So this morning was the
day of cross country today. Today, I was like, I'm
not going to be there because I think if I'm
there she's more inclined to not want to do it,
and I want to be with me, you know what
kids are?
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Then like that, April cried at the cross country for
what because she was so sad because all the kids
that didn't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Okay, good to know that it's not just Marley, No,
it's not.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
She felt like it was a form of torture. Don't
maybe do it?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
And then like some kids thrive off that sort of
ship Likesca loves that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
But this morning we were like putting on her socks
and shoes.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
She was like, I don't want to do it. I'm like,
you're fucking do it. Do it for Peterlo.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
So have we got a result yet?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Oh you don't know it fucking got canceled cancer.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Good.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
She's probably like it's next term, the next time. So
I guess I'm to train. I might'st all they do
if anyone.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
How long is how long is you want? It's literally
I want to say it's like three hundred meters? How
just a kilometer? They gave us a breakdown.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
A kilometer, Yeah, yeah, a kilometer.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, we're training for regionals. Bro.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
That is that is that is far does torture? Yeah,
can we get the Department of Education inspecting your school?
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Northern Beaches?
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I reckon?
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Okay, well, okay, if you.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Live a kilometer and your kid does, he's like four,
he's silly, sicks man.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Still very different. The Klombter's not that far. Dude, you're forty.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Forty. If I'm forty, you're forty five.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
How does that make you feel?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Stuff it?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
You're so close to fifty. It's like twelve more summers
than Mars.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Is like twice around thequadrangle? Quadrangle? Quadrangle?
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Is this math?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Jesus so canceled? Going in next year? Do you do
you know being a subscriber to someone who reads the newsletter?
Do they do athletics to like some some stage.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
They do have an athletics carnival? Correct. Yeah, I don't
know when it is. I'll wait till my sister tells me.
I have my goal for like my midyear goal is
to get subscribed to the newsletter.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
How come you can't? What's this zeal?
Speaker 1 (14:35):
I try and on the website, put email in and
it says we'll send you a link. Click the link
and your subscribed. The link never comes I've never had
the link. I've never I've tried someone at school going out.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
That's it. I don't.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, it's not easy, right, Okay, Well I look forward
to hearing the results of Marley's run.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I will say that George the year threes, George is
my nephew. They did it, They ran.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
How did you go?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
He came fourth? That's branding. But he had to let
me just tell you, he had to go in the
grade above because he started school late.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
So he's like.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Nine to be fair. So if you had gone into
his grade, yes, he was did.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I dropped the kids off this morning and I brought
George with me, and he was petrified, like because it
was the year above, because he had to race against
the older kids.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Did you tell the Peterlow story? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And then you were like a young Mandy Jo who
went to regionals one time ran with would you like
me to tell them the story of ash Wicks who
went to work? And yeah you should? What place did
you come to? Ozzi's did not finish? I can't remember.
I didn't like, I didn't win. I didn't win ausies clearly,
no way. What did they come? I think in a
four hundred. I got fourth. That's the closest shouse.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Well, regionals you played before.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Before I continue, I want to tell you something really quick.
How much do you reckon? You spent on school uniforms
for Oscar.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
No idea and April bought the original ones and then
they have a second hand shop at the and it's
dirt cheap, like five bucks for a pair. Shure.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
See I got they upsold me.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I'm surprised by that. You're not easy to upsell. I
know I panicked unless it's business class.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Now how much so we made the mistake?
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Boys is easy. Boys?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
You give them shorts and a polo. Right, yeah, for
girls is hard. Let me tell you. Let me take
this is for maciek okay, well Macey and to school.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
She will have the.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Option of a dress or a squort, skirt, shorts and
a polo.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Marley was like I want the dress, and we're like, great,
dress is beautiful, you can.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Have the dress.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think may still go the dress to tell her
to shut up.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Okay, let me call her right now when she wants
that dress. Don't do it.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Because they all started on the dress and then all
the older kids.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Are in skirts. No squirts. Okay, that's just gonn take
a little wile. Get my head around the scot scoort.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
A scort is a skirt, but shorts.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Okay with you like jawns, like jean shorts, very good,
very good, but they're called like you have to go
in and ask for sports sneams, also jeekers.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
But I had to get Marlek. She now has these
dresses that she won't wear, so I have to get
her scorts. And Apollo and I went into the uniform
shop this morning and I said, can I have two
squats and two polos? And she was like, of course,
and then she went for the brand new ones and
I was like, but there was a line of people
and I was like, I was, I panicked. I didn't
ask for second one hundred bucks for two for two scots.
(17:42):
It's such a raw two squats and two polows. It's
a rawt but like you can pass them down a loller.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I guess, thank you, But I know that we've got
the winter uniform coming up. What's the winter uniform? I'm
glad you asked. It's a whole new fucking uniform.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Like pants.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, so pants it's a button up shirt for the boys,
for the boys. What I think the shoes stay the same.
I hope so. I would hope so, But otherwise I'm
going to be out of pocket.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, home was button up shirt.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Yeah, I don't think. I think we're going to refuse.
We've fucking pushed back on that dude pushing into a hole.
If they want to make oscar run like four kilometers
for cross country, allow that, but you've got to put
your foot down, give.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Him a bear of pants.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, look, I don't know. I just know that the
secondhand stuff is so much cheaper.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
You've got a man, don't. They saw me and they were.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
They pulled your pants down as soon as you walked
in here.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I got bent over, bent over in front of it,
in front No, she didn't even spit, she did even spit.
Just bent me over in front of my child as well.
Marley was like dad, and I was like, don't look
at this.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Molly May's like while he's spending. When I was asking
for something, I got sucked by a pair of Scots. No,
are they really long to oscar shorts like shawts? No?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Three like three quarter they're like three quarters. They're like
long shorts or short longs. We don't know, we've got
to pull.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
The other day, he's like, can you do my string up?
I was like yeah, but the things up here. I
was pretty much doing up his drawstring and he's fucking
up his chest.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
And that's probably why he came, because you know, the
shoe fell off.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's different. It was a wardrobe malfunction of a different kind.
With Oscar, we had our first parent teaching interview. You
had your schedule, you wouldn't know.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
It's not in the newsletter or.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
The awkward silence. Now, it's really starting to make me
feel weird. I'm trying, Ash. I know I'm doing a
great dad. I'm doing the best that I can a
great dad.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
And it's a school's fault that you can't get onto
the news.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
I can't fucking I can't get in there. I can't subscrip.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
You and I are very different.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
It's like Bergheim nightclub. You can't get in, are you
do you? You obviously have the big group chat. Oh yeah,
I ignore that.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
Oh man. I was like Ashes left immediately before I
even saw read one mess.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
People were asking you about lunchboxes and I was like,
too hot, too hard.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Okay, parent, teacher, have you been scheduleding for your parents?
Had last week?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
You had your stuff? Me too? Yeah, it's quick. Do
you think I suppose at the end of the term now,
fucking hell, life goes fast. Oh man, it does go quick.
I'm like, you're only forty sorry, fine, Yeah, I'm gonna
have to get you.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
I don't know if Oscar was like this, Marley was
really and it was it was me, Laura Marley was
there and Mary's teacher, and Marley was being really silly,
like in front of the teacher. Yeah, she was like
she was she was like nervous, silly.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Well, she was just being like like bum we we
in front of the teacher. And I was like, what
do you shut up?
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And then I was like, well, you know you're gonna
behave and then she was like smack him in the face.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
It was they had the report out there.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
She was, you know when sometimes in front of other
people she was being super silly, very I was embarrassed.
That was.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I was just embarrassed we didn't take Oscar. Yeah, it was.
I feel like they're better without.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, no one wants to hear what
someone has to say about you in front of you
to someone else.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
It was it was a light touch. It was like, yeah,
it was like here's a picture that she drew. Yeah, Like,
what do they say about Oscar?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
He's good, apparently he's really I don't know where who
this kid is. Let's put it this way, I don't
know who this He's really cool.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
He's s CR, isn't he s r C?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
As I was close, he's really Apparently, he's really kind,
he's really helpful. He's really he's like really like picks
up things really fast.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I've been assaulted by Oscar. You tried to kidnap He's
a violent young man. You tried to kidnap him.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
If anything, you should be embarrassed about that, because he
beat the ship out of you.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
So, like all and all really really good, except like classic,
my son does get distracted easily.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
I was like, yeah, that makes total sense.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
But otherwise really good. But I felt like the whole
thing was like really daunting, even for us. I was like,
I'm nervous.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
What's a teacher like?
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So there's two teachers they do a job share for
the first term because the regular teachers on long service, right,
and one of them was heavily pregnant. I'm talking like
that about like she's got just finishes up this week
because she's gonna give birth to a child. And then
both lovely. But I felt like it's the first time
experiencing that, like as it was for you. But April
(22:58):
and I both felt like it was nerve racking for
some reason. I don't know why. Everything was fine, thank God,
but like I can imagine, like if you've got like
quite a naughty kid, it would be pretty daunting.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh yeah, it'd be awful if that were struggling.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Do you know what? I was really really nervous until
I had to sit in one of those kids chairs
and I thought, this is all silly.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, you're like your knees are up by you.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I felt like I felt like I was getting in trouble.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I was like, oh shit, And then I was like,
this is a bit silly on this chair.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I was I don't know the teacher listens to this podcast,
but I was. After five minutes, I was kind of
like I was struggling to stay focused.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Now my teacher actually has a little thing for Maddie Ja.
I gifted the Schools of books for book Fair? Did
you give my calendar? I thought that was inappropriate, but actually,
just on the calendar really quick. I went and dropped
Macy off at her kindy and one of the teachers
came up and said, Laurel's got one of your calendars
in the staff room. She was gifted for christ Laurel
(24:00):
was She was like, oh, I love Maddie j And
I was like, yeah, he's all right. He only made
it to regionals, but yeah, you've got a big fan
over there. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
So maybe I should come to the next parent teachers,
me and you two gay dads? Yeah, how is Macy?
By the way, Macy's good.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Macy has learned to toilet train herself somehow. I don't
know how.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Just one day she was like I'm finished, and I.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Was like, okay, good time. I was like, time to
change and happy walking, and she's sitting on the toilet. Hm,
I ordered she again, she's three and a bit.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Okay, that's like prime potty training.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
But I didn't.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
I feel like she's watching Oscar.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Dude, what it is?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Oscar?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
He's now parenting your other child. Well that he's the
man of the he you can start paying for ship.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Then he was like for gods, But like I felt
like I didn't like both my kids, I don't even
think about like I didn't have to do any real
toilet training, like like what other than going.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
We should we?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
I think Laura would always watch Marley and she'd be like,
I want to do that, like I want to, I
want to I want to experience that ride achievable goal
I'm being on the toilet. So Lola was pretty easy
even even now. I don't know if Macy's like this Lola.
Whenever she's doing a little activity, she locks into it
to the point where she pushes the needle very far
(25:27):
when it comes to like knitting to wi. So she'll
be coloring something in and she won't want to finish it,
and she won't she won't want to go to the
toilet until she's finished coloring in and then.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And then she's like, ah still does that. He relisself.
He was like drawing and he's like, I'm like, we're
holding under your dig for mate, go.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Into the piss and like, okay, we right back, and
he sprinted off. Macy's doing obviously just all of a sudden,
doing ships on the toilet, right, and then I'll be like.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Still wiping though, right she no, She's banging on wiping
and I'm like, what is going I got a check,
which is weird.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
It's so weird, just like be like, come here and
let me check your asshole. What's a fucking weird thing.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Is It's weird when you come in there and you're like, alright,
term for the asshole inspection. Don't know if I grab
your toes?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Hello, hello, oh my god, everything's everything seems to be
on now cough.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Sometimes Laola's like I've finished and I'm like, let me
have a check.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Oh my god, this ship everywhere?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah yeah, it looks like when you used to when
you're a kid, and then you get a drop of
paint put it in a piece of paper and a
butterfly butterfly and I'm like, did you wipe and Lalla's
like yeah, yeah, wall and I'm like, God, you need help.
And I'm waiting to go into the bathroom and just
see a ship on the side of the fucking tour
like oh yeah, just waiting for it. But she does
(26:46):
this quirky thing where she'll be like daddy like yeah,
She's like, can you get me a book and then
I walked in and she was like, I didn't at
this stage, I.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Didn't know that she was on the tour.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
And I walked past the toll the doors wide open,
like it looked at my right. And then she's like
holding the book and I was like, what.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
The hell is? And then can she read? No?
Speaker 2 (27:13):
And then I was like what do you use the
book for it?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
She just helps me relaxed, and I was like reading
the Financial Times.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
And she does this weird She's doing this weird walk
at the moment where it's like a real smug like
like the like the daker on the shirts by the
way shirts like that, where it's like she like struts
off down the hallway like she's just successfully back a
massive turn out.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
What is she reading the toilet?
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh? Just whatever book she can get a hand on.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Good on her, Good on you.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
That's great, that's great parenting take for I love how
you like, I don't know who's doing it. April's d
like blood, sweat and tears, making sure that leaves rolled off,
and you're like, it's she's just done it herself.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Shout out to April.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
April, Sure did you ask Ash?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
We would normally do lies, but I'm gonna I'm gonna
rest lies for this week.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
Is that a lie?
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (28:08):
Gotcha? Gotcha? We're gonna rest lies.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Ok.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
We're going to bring back lies next week.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
We are, but a little.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Reminder that if you do have any lies, we wan't
really obscure ones. You know, the crazy, the better send
them through to us. But we're going to jump straight
into listener questions, Ash, what precious thing you that's beautiful?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Thank you, thank you?
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Next question, what precious thing did you or your kids destroy?
This is off the back of just little mentioned little
nod to your dad destroying the art peace last week?
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I do have something before this
as please. I hate to always flash back, but I can.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I just say, don't you dare apologize for hating a
flashback because I love them.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Let's go right back. How old also was about oscars age.
I lived in Narrabeen in what they call an asbestos house.
It's funny because I live in asbestos house now, so
I've gone full circle. They say, closed the circle. Here
we are and my dad's quite an avid surfer. And
(29:17):
when we were kids, we were all coming back from somewhere.
I think it was like it must have been a
weekend because no one was working, no one was at school.
We had one family car. We went very well off,
and I remember we did a surf check on the
way home from wherever we were, and I recall Dad
being like, it's good, got to get these kids home
so that he can go. So we drove home. It
(29:39):
had quite a long driveway out the side of the
house that on the left side was a fence that was.
Speaker 3 (29:47):
Like just like a timber fence, and it's it was
not the pretty side.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Of the tim offence. You now, there's an ugly side.
It was the ugly side because we're poor. Someone else
payer defense, Okay, And I recall us driving up the
driveway and getting out of the car.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
It can I will say, it is quite a flex
to have a defence, to have the fence on the
nice side.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Yeah, what's your fence situation?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
It's definitely nice. You're a nice guy.
Speaker 3 (30:17):
Look, it is the nice side on.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Both sides of the house. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Oh wow, I know, sorry, must be very nice.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
So I don't know what it feels. I'm going to
relate to your story, but I just I can't know,
I don't get it and didn't get it to me
feel poor.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Anyway, So we've gone up. I am on the passenger
side behind Mum in my chair.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Anyway, so we've all gotten out of the car.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
And I was so so young, so there's like the
memory is not completely clear, what it's hazy, But anyway,
we've all gotten out of the car. Dad's put his
board in the car and gone to reverse back down
the driveway and and I don't know if you recall,
on the poor side of the fence is where the
posts are that keep the structural integrity of said fence.
(31:08):
And the back door on the passenger side, which was
my side, had been slightly left open, and he had
reversed down the driveway, hence ripping the car door off.
Oh yeah, expensive exercise. So think about this. Think a
four door car with three doors and a big hole
(31:33):
where the fourth door is meant And how is the
fence fence well built? The poor side the rich person
that I was like, not my ridge side of the fence,
and it was perfectly fine from what I recall, but
it did it did rip the car door clean off. However,
(31:53):
my as you can imagine, my dad was rope because
there's two things that have happened here. He's missed the serve,
which is probably the thing he was most upset about
it in the end, and the car is missing a door,
our only car that we have.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
That dad's source of getting to work.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
And I think at the time he had like three
jobs because he worked in sales this time.
Speaker 3 (32:14):
Okay, so I apologize.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
So this was not this is pre sales rep days.
No need to yell, Okay, I won't. I refuse not to.
He had a couple of different jobs in different areas.
But anyway, he was really ropeable about it, and he
was ropeable about it for years.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
It was the sort of thing where they bring it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Back up all the time.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
He can I just can I just confirm for one second? Yes,
was it your fault?
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Like was it? Were you in the was it?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I'm imagining right now that everything's happening really quickly, your
dad's like, get out of the fucking car, gotta go,
gotta go.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Maybe it'll happen too quick. You didn't get a chance.
You're grade too, you're grade too, you're like seven.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, so it was on my side, my door. Hence
my fault.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
So I've no, no, no, no. Let me finish the story
then we can ask questions. So it was I copped
the blame because that's my door.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
That's unfair. Sorry, it's not unfair. I don't think it's
unfair to It's an assumption. That's what that is, whether
it's unfair or not.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
He assumed. He assumed, They all assumed.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Everyone's assumed.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
If you're the driver, you check the doors before you drive.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
For years, it was brought up, always, always brought up
for so long, come on, thank you, let go now,
all the way until teenage years, where it was continually
brought up to be it went from being like how
pissed off they were about it and how much it
(33:43):
costs them in the end to it being like an
embarrassing story, like tell people ruin the family. I just
did this somewhere around my sixteenth birthday. You didn't ruin
the family, as you chose to ignore that. It's again,
oh I missed. It's okay, around my sixteenth birthday an
admission of someone admitted to actually doing it my sister.
(34:07):
So back then, my sister has opened the door. Older
sister got out on that side with me, left the
door open. Wow, it ripped off. She pointed the finger
at me. Fifteen years or something, I say, twelve years
something like that. Ten twelve years had gone by her
(34:29):
keeping her mouth shut, enjoying me being brought up for
years and years.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
So she just stood there watching you get beaten, pretty
much smacked up earlyhood.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
Where she has finally said it was me.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
What was the trigger point for her admitting I can't remember.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
I just the guilt was too much.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
I think that the guilt got to her evengual and
it might have got to the point where you.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Would hold onto that to your deathbed. Really, yeah, you
would expect like if she was about to go, she'd
be like, by the.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Way the car door was meat, Yeah, fully, what has happened?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I was unsure, like what why she wanted to clear
a conscience?
Speaker 2 (35:12):
I'm not sure. I mean, we're still talking. This is
fifteen years ago that she cleared a conscience. And I
was like, I remember for I remember for so long
it was like I because the car was fucking ruined,
pretty much like it was an old car anyway, and
it was like I was always the kid in the
family who ruined the car. My sister could never do
any wrong. It shaped the rest of my childhood. I
(35:34):
reckon because it was like, I remember when you.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
Fuck the car up, your piece of shit. Shit, not
that my.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Parents spoke to me like that. Mom might have that
would yeah wow, but yeah for so long, and my
sister would do the they're like, you remember that, and
then eventually, like I.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Said, how's your relationship now with your sister?
Speaker 2 (35:56):
That's great, We're great.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
We're great friends until I get her back eventually.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
But yeah, it's a scarring moment. But I was the
precious item that I had ruined of my parents.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
I'm so sorry you had to experience that. It's like
those stories of the person who was like incorrectly charged
with murder and they spent the whole life in prison.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
That's exactly how I felt.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
I felt like I was incarcerated an innocent man. Yes,
I felt like it was In the move the Hurricane, No, okay,
it's let me just give you the just really quick.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
It's quite a long about a car door that gets broken.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
It's about a car door that gets written. It's about
a boxer who gets framed for a murder. A long
time ago, and there was a really famous song called
the Hurricane.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
To me right now, I'm getting nothing but one word
screaming into my vision.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
What do you mean, Hollywood movie imagine they're making a
blockbuster movie out of me ruining the card?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
This has got I mean, I think screenwriters would be
salivating right now.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Years I lived in shamee I lived. I was suppressed
for years in my own family home.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Yeah, betrayed.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
I was betrayed by your own legend. What I have
never been able to trust ever again?
Speaker 3 (37:18):
Anyone? Anyone?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Wow, the sight of a car door like it s inspiral,
sends me spiraling.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, every time you shot a car door flashbacks.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Yeah. Now, I'm like every time you see a fence,
anytime someone weirs about me slamming their door, I'm like, well,
you gotta be sure, you gotta be careful, and you
gotta be sure.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
This has got to be made into a movie. Surely
we should do it.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
It'll we know.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
A start Man Arrival was a hurricane based on a
true story.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
It is a true story, but there you go, And
there was a ten minute song the was it. This
is the story of the hurricane, but this is.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
A story of a car door.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
How's the go again, Jess, can you just get that
song up really quick?
Speaker 3 (38:05):
How does it go?
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Again?
Speaker 3 (38:06):
It's not important anyway. It's goot feature film written all
over it.
Speaker 2 (38:09):
Who would play me? Probably young?
Speaker 1 (38:11):
You have to play yourself, dude. Probably with Ai you could.
They could do like a young version of yourself. You
wouldn't need to.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Have like an upper up and what up and coming
young actor to play me. That's what I want, okay,
and then the teenage version of me. Don't make him
look as awkwards idea as a teenager. I want like
a nice, pristine teenager.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
I'll do it the pristine teenager, can we That's a
bit much.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Very very very Harvey Weinstein of you.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
That's what I was going for.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
There's two things that I I originally said that in
my mind. So I didn't break anything. Actually I did
break a few things.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Just twenty four other women's hearts on the Bachelor.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Jesus, A couple of things, just old old note. We
we ended up having our neighbors. It wasn't like a
mountain bike. It was like a cruiser bike. Did a
few jumps on it.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Sick.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
I used to I used to was. I was very bad.
I used to love riding bikes. But I would always
like trying and hit jumps fall off.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
You got to hit jumps, you got hit the jump.
What's the point of having a bike if you're not
hitting jump?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Well, said sick, So broke the bike. My dad when
I was this is like really young. My dad had
these machetes.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Okay, what's the name ivan that.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
He had bought he was working in Pappa Ne, Guinea.
There were like these like carved machetes. They were like
I can't again, very hazy.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
This is when I'm let's hope. So that's like six.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
So when you do get questioned about the machetes.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
And I remember they were like not machetes, you would
use the old machetes that would be like on a mantelpiece
on display.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
In a psychopath's house.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
Yes, okay, And I have this memory with my oldest
sister or brother where we took the machetes. We went
down into the backyard there was a big rock and
we would then smash the rock with a machete and
it made little sparks and we were like, how cool
is this. We're making fire And we just like bashed
the hell out of the machete until they were all
(40:16):
like dinted in from the rock because we like making sparks,
and then we just put them back until my dad
came home and was like, what the fuck is this?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Okay, you ruined the man's hobby pretty much his prize possessions.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Do we know what they cost? Though?
Speaker 3 (40:33):
No I don't, but they were priceless. Yeah, why do
kids do dumb shit like that?
Speaker 1 (40:37):
Then I will just say as well, last thing, this
one is etched into my mind. We used to have
a ride on lawnmower shut up, and I used to
really love the ride on lawnmower. It's very slow, but
we had at one point a little slope and.
Speaker 3 (40:54):
To hit the jumps on that too. Well, I.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Got the hose out and we're like with then a
bit of an incline. I wet it so all the
grass was like real greasy, and then I would hit
it at pace and then turn and drift and do
a bit sick that is good. And then I did
that a number of times until I kind of went
faster and faster and sharper and sharper, until I ended
(41:17):
up rolling the ride on lawnmower down the hill and
it ended up upside down. Luckily I didn't have the
blades on and I jumped off the right on lawn
mower so I was not crushed, so like full action
movie jump with action packs.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
And then you're like, that was sick, Let's do it again.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
And then I was like I couldn't I couldn't lift,
I couldn't correct the lawnmower it and I think I
just left home. I just my mum was away and
my dad was coming home, and I was like, well
for me, yeah, see guys, my backpack off to the
bus and I went to a MAT's house.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
A police weren't falsely accused. Man, I've got a question
for you. I know we're not really in the you
know we did last week talk about Christmas and the
guy that had the fucking Christmas music on.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Yes, but in terms of gift giving, of course, birthdays,
birthdays are.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
They do happen throughout the year.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
I am aware of that. Actually, sorry, I didn't mean
to just a reminder. I did remind you about Laura's
birthday the other day.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
Yes, when's your birthday again?
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I'm not telling you because you forget every year and
you're like, what July seven.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
July six, your April. You're coming up. I'm going to
missage April.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
You're the worst. What are the worst you? What are
the worst presents you can give a child? It's birthday, Christmas, regardless,
just presents. Top three? Give me your top three worst.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
I'm going to start with number three. A carryoke machine.
That was my number two.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
I think they're like they're a nightmare.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Well, I told that story that I got one from
my mother in law and I hit it and we
never and the kids never asked about it ever again.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
You'll play with it for a day, a week at
the most, and then you got you got to bury.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
That one day it was gone. Literally it was Boxing day,
and I'm like this.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
There is one thing that kids do not need. It's
a piece of equipment to amplify their voice.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
You might as well give them a drum kit.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yes, Like I say, for anyone out there, don't give
karaoke machines to kids.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
No good one. What's your do you want to do?
Speaker 1 (43:31):
What's your number three?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
My number three is hot wheels tracks. I thought that
would be a great gift in theory. Yeah, when I
first heard Oscar, I was like, oh, who love hot
wheels track? But there's a couple of things with them.
The firstly is the hot wheels. Cars get left on
the ground and in the dark if their flips upside down,
eat a couple of plastic sharp wheels. And man, you
(43:54):
know when people are talking about stepping on blocks, step
on a hot wheels car, bro oh my god, that's
one thing and the other thing is and it might
just be my kid. The frustration because they car never
makes it to the end of the track, or the
track bits get lost, or he'll be.
Speaker 3 (44:12):
Like, I'm going to do this track and it's gonna work.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
And because they don't understand physics at that age, well
neither do I. It I know what's kind of going
to work and what's not going to work. The frustration
just I just end up. I've hidden them. I've got
a box full of them, and I've hidden them because
it's the worst.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
My second, my number two on my list slime that
is bad. Slime is just like, if there is one,
if anyone brings in slime into this household, within seconds,
I'm putting that in the fucking bin.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
I'm gonna hard slime through it.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Because it just like it gets everywhere, gets on the
carpet gets in the kid's hair, stinks.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
That smell it.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Like it just ends up every where and then it
dries hard. It's it's hard to get off.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
How would you define that smell.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
It's like a chemical chemical, synthetic rubbery concox.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
It's nuclear. That's a very good word for its nuclear.
It's essentially that you're bringing in nuclear waste into a household.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
And usually because it's slime and it's meant to be
appillion with kids, it's bright colored and the kids don't
get it, like, they don't they don't know how to
play with it. Okay, they don't know how it works.
How does slime work? It's like what are you trying
to what are you trying to achieve with slime? It's
like even a big thing, a chewing gum, like it
just end up fucking everywhere.
Speaker 1 (45:36):
And no need for it. There should be. Hey, there's
an election coming up. One thing that I want to
have as a rule legislation ban slime.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Will stop full stop. Yeah, there's a whole aisle dedicated
to slime in like some shops, the slim shop. Now aha,
number two for me? Do you know what I hate?
Speaker 3 (45:53):
Going in again? In theory, it's like this would be cool.
I also going to love this kids.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
You anything remote control drives me fucking wild.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
I think the first time that you get given a
remote control calf, your kid does and you you're in
charge of setting up, it's like the novelty wars wears
off real quick before it's like annoying. They usually make
annoying sounds. The batteries never last that long, are expensive,
(46:22):
and then there's the meltdown when you don't have the
appropriate batteries, and I just think you're setting the parent
up there for a lot of failures after you've given
the initial cool looking gift of the rally car. And
I was like that sick And then he crashes into
something and it breaks and and he's like, oh, I
need to do one.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
I didn't know that that's very.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Anything remote control. It's simple, okay. My number one number
one melted bead kits. Oh you know, you know the
ones where you have like a triangle shape and then
you put the beads on and you iron it like
it's so delicate, it's so near, and but I can
(47:07):
barely finish the shape, and trying to get a toddler
not toddler that because are not toddler. Sorry, I apologize
to try and get my child under the age of
ten to complete that.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Like it's just it's essentially it becomes a point where
you're just playing with it.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
I'm doing and the beads end up fucking everywhere.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
There's a moment when done, when you're ironing, like the
choices of I made in life for this to be
what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
I can't tell you in those those cupboards down there,
how many times I've gone to get something out, like
a charger and then I've hit the bead bowl and
beads of bloody who When the kids are like, we
play with the beads, it's it's just it's awful. It's
(47:58):
guaranteed to end up in tears. The kids are frustrated,
they're annoyed, and then like when you do iron it
and then they're like, they're not happy with it.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
It's just no beads. I'm gonna give you my number
one now please. And I received this from my sister,
the one who blamed me for the car thing.
Speaker 3 (48:12):
So thanks, Beth. A kazoo go on.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
So A kazoo is a small mouth whistle sort of
thing that goes.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
Is it kind of like they had the world Cupella.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
It's like a minivozella and the kazoo family.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
It's it's it's one of the kazoo relatives.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Yes, it's an offspring of the kazoo.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
I thought say so.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
It's like a baby kazoo.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
Right, no way, vizella sorry, baby Vouverzella is a 's evolution,
the evolution of life. Where we going? Where am I
going with it? Let me continue though. My child, Oscar
was two for his second birthday. Got him. It's like
a metal kazoo, and the problem is with the kazoo,
(48:58):
is it doesn't. It's like a harmonica, also part of
the Ververzella family. It's actually the distant cousin of the kazoo.
It's a wind instrument. Would you just like the trumpet anyway? Sorry,
we could go on all that. With a harmonica, you
can blow out and you can suck in. Yes, and
it makes noise. Same with the kazoo, but it's more annoying.
(49:20):
It's like, oh, man, if we get insert a kazoo here, yes,
that'd be great.
Speaker 6 (49:27):
Oh my dad, flying, flying, flying, flying, flying, fine, fine,
fine one, I like dressing dance prettings.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
But she brought him a kazoo for a second birthday.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
But the problem with second birthday, Yeah, but she did.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
It from on purpose, you know why? She did it, asshole,
to annoy the shit out of me. And a week
later I was like, this fucking kazoo. I've got to
get rid of it. But the problem is I kept
throwing it away and it kept reappearing.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
You know how, like just was a cursed kazoo.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
It was like a boomerang, not related to the kazoo.
Just to clarify, that's more of a hobby throwing hobby.
No wind instrument with a It just kept turning back
up and I think it was crushed.
Speaker 3 (50:35):
It was.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
It continued to make noise, and all what happen is
at like six o'clock in the morning, Oscar would like
wake up and I'd hear this in my own personal hell.
So if you're listening to this list, do not buy
unless you really hate.
Speaker 3 (50:55):
Them A kazoo. A kazoo for a child.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
Also vi visella love that in that nothing nothing in
the related instrument. Please unless they're talented at.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
It, which remember, my kid is talented at that age.
My dad got a harmonica.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
My dad plays guitar, and he wanted to play guitar
and harmonica at the same time, which I don't know
if you've seen the contraption that that is goes over
your neck and it holds the Dylan. Yeah, very good reference.
Thank you, very very good. You've seen it. And he
got a harmonica. I remember my sister we hated it.
(51:34):
We all hated it. But I think he knew what
he was doing as well. Do I just live in
a family full of evil people where he would just
be like eventually we had to hide it from him.
He's a fully grown man. To talk about full circle,
I'm going full circle again again, cursed by win Win
related instruments.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
And on that note, it's been a pleasure. It's been
a joy. If you have any listener questions, please submit
them to us either on social media two Doting Dads Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
Give us your lists, your list of toys that you
should just well, things you just shouldn't get a child. Weapons,
don't get them weapons, no michetes. I wouldn't recommend it.
They'll end up damaged or they'll kill each other just
don't get any like ka Zoo. And if you enjoyed
this episode, please leave a review, subscribe, send to a friend,
(52:27):
whatever you like, or you can join us on socials.
Two Doting Dads on Instagram, TikTok. And of course I
said that before. I just I said that.
Speaker 1 (52:35):
I've already said to social media.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
I'm just gonna through a lot of trauma these days.
Bro repeat things I said it.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
And if you want to leave us a review, subscribe,
comment very let us know.
Speaker 2 (52:46):
That's yeah.
Speaker 1 (52:47):
Hey, we'll get out of here. Is anything else?
Speaker 3 (52:50):
I think that's it. We'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
Bye. You are with another man? How's it go again?
I can't remember?
Speaker 1 (53:03):
He was in the army, he drove tanks, gaba.
Speaker 2 (53:07):
It was it again? You were with another man? Hang,
and I'll think of it that it's not your best?
What's that? Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians
of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see
and community. We pay our respects to their elders past
and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and
(53:28):
Torrestrate Islander peoples today.
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