September 9, 2025 • 49 mins
Happy Father's Day to all of the Big Pappis out there!
It's a big family affair this episode, with Mum Ellie jumping on the pod to update us on her health after a major shoulder surgery. Please send all of your good vibes and energy her way as she recovers!
Matty J and Ash gift each other the same Father's Day presents, and that's a sweet little message from their kids.
Making a return for this week's episode is your Parenting Lies! We've got some good ones.
We also answer your parenting questions:
- Things you should never say to a parent
- My son was invited to a combined party. Do I have to gift both kids despite my son only being close to one?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are looking a little bit red in the sun.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
So embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I have so neck? You know?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Damn?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well what happened? Get started?
Speaker 4 (00:13):
Welcome back, Welcome back to two notting Dads.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I'm manage and this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad, and one
thing we will never ever ever do, even if our
lives depended on it. Well, well I probably would in
that case, but I was just trying to be dramatic.
We will never give advice, No, never give you advice.
(00:51):
But we are back from the snow. We have returned
to the motherland.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well have we returned? And I guess so.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Some of us are rather than others.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, what's the deal with the red fight?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Some of us has some injuries.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Ash, Why do I always get hurt?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I actually I don't know what's happened, but the first
hour of the day I can barely move. I'm still I.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Have to, like, it must be nice to be able
to move.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Take your neck brace off, for God's sake.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
It is uncomfortable. Can I take it off?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Please?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
We tell people what happened though, Yeah, oh god, it's
like I can imagine that's what it's like when women
take their bra off at the end of the day.
Am I right? Sorry? I said, I can imagine that's
what it's like. I don't know, but I guess that's
what it would feel like.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well said, we were at the Snow, we were at Parashat.
It was a journey that was not without its mistakes.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's a lot of effort, would be honest.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
You know what, Let's start from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Let's do that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
It's a very long drive.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we split it that.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
What do you mean, Yeah, it is a long drive.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We split it up though.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I think that was the smart joint drive like a maniac.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I did really hook it when it was my turn.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I'm waiting for the speed fins to come through in that.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Car, and then I'm going to disappear.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I made a mistake. I put my hand up. I
did something wrong. Sure, sure, I booked the wrong accommodation.
We had a night in Canberra before then making our
way back onto the Snow. The next morning. We checked
it at nine o'clock.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Well, we tried to check in at nine o'clock. Let
me just correct you. There. I was in the car
because it was my stint you're like, I'll get out,
I'll sort this out. I'm like, beautiful, off you go.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
And the lady was like, what's your name please. I
said it's Matt Johnson because I made the booking. And
she goes, it's not there, and I said amateur, So
whipped out my phone gave her the book in confirmation.
I said, here it is. I think that'll answer any
questions that you.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Have, ma'am about this situation.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
And she got, oh, there's a mistake here, and I
was like, I don't make my sack somehow, somehow, Okay,
I have booked it for twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Six, not even the same month though.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
For January.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Why why did you do that?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
In my defense, yeah, because I think it's like the
Midwinter Ball. I think that happens around this time, one
of the busiest weekends in the history of Canberra.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
There was a lot of peace politicians. When we turned
up that.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Way, busloads off them.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Oh man, it was like the old feeling onto the
road and I'm like, it's good to see how tax
dollars got a bunch of pierce heat.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
They like, where is the karaoke?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, they're trying to kick on a carryog. I'm ptty sure,
they're trying to usher them back to bed.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Meanwhile, I'm pleading for a bed and they're like, we're
booked out. I'm so sorry you cannot stay here.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
But you came back to the car with a very
sheepish look on your face because you don't often get
things wrong. I'm going to be give you a little
compliment there.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Thank you. I'll take that.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And you opened the door and you gave me a look,
and I knew immediately something wasn't right. I was like,
what have you done? And you admitted that you booked
it for January. But the funny thing was is that
we were meant to be meeting someone in the lobby there,
so we had to do the walk of shame.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Who went to Peppers down the road?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, we managed to get a room drop three point
fifty for a beautiful room, a disabled room. She was like,
it only we only have one room left in that
whole hotel. It's a disabled room. And I was like,
totally fine. It's a room that's catered for those that
need assistance, easy access, easy access. It had railings in
the shower, railings around the talk, which honestly I don't mind,
(04:42):
but yeah, what was concerning I think, and I think
you're about to say it was that she was like,
you better just check this room first.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I went to go page goes whoaha, whoah, whah, whoah,
you better look at the room first, And I was like.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Where is what hotel? Is this?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
We saw her and we were like, this is this
is heaven? This is perfect.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, it was fine.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
One little bed.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Which also concerning she knocked before we looked at it.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, she was like, Jimmy, we're coming in now.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I know. I was like, Jimmy, I was like, why
would you need to knock if the room's not rented out?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
But I woke up. I got pink eye from Ash.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
We did do a bit of a story arc that
seemed like we were having on a gaycation.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
My biggest takeaway from this trip is the fact that
it's okay to make mistakes. But second to that, the
snow is not for the faint of heart.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
No, I feel like everything takes twice as long, everything's
twice as heavy, and it's cold. Oh yeah, I'll get that,
twice as cold as everywhere else on earth. And like
it didn't really help that, like there was a big downpour.
The weather wasn't amazing, but the visibility was terrible.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
But we had a great time.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
So my first time snowboarding, you did very well. Thank
you very well.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I want to know, be honest out there. If you're
a parent, okay, and I'm not talking about those types
of people who are like Olympic level skiers or snowboarders.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Rich people.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, the rich people.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
If you're a rich pass off, stop listening.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
But actually we need to come back. But if you're
just a normal, run of the mill family, honestly, hand
on heart, do you enjoy going to the snow with
your kids? I think when you when you weigh it
all up, when you look at the tantrums and you
look at the money, are you having a good time overall? Surely?
(06:32):
Not right.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
There's a mixture of there's a mixture of different families
that I did see along the way. There was the
little three year old girl with her dad having a
great time. I was c she was skiing, dad was happy,
everyone was happy. They probably they probably had a moment
in their lives, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
In five minutes time. She was having a meltdown, for sure,
you know that for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
But At that moment, I am just like, she's great, Yeah,
that's how I'm seeing. I didn't see the melt And
then I walking through the Skeich tube hallway and there's
a mum with her kid around a similar age, and
that kid screaming on the floor as she tries to
heave a ski boot off this kid's foot, And I
was like, oh, this is not worth it, right, And
(07:14):
then you saw a pram like yes, I didn't even
have chains on its tires, and there was no baby.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
He was carrying a bugaboo pram across the snow baby less.
I can only assume that he's just jumped it.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
It's just like you know, they're on a mountain, it'll
get to the bottom.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
It was like there was one point as well on
them were coming down the mountain on our snowboards, and
there was a child like starfish laying on its back screaming.
The parent was going get up, billy, God, damn it.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
That was me.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
And I was thinking to myself, Ah, I don't know
if I want to pay like thousands of dollars to
have a meltdown, screaming match of a fight with my child.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Mark my words, I will never here we go ever
take my kids to the snow. Wow, never, never, ever, ever,
not while they're okay, hang on, let me rephrase that.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Don't backtrack on it. Now.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
They have to be over sixteen for me to take them,
fourteen sixteen, because then they can probably have a job
and pay anyway. But I'm like, as kids are they
are now where it's like I'm meant to be the
responsible adult. No, that would look way more trouble. It
was enough trouble just being with me, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Me You're right. I was exhausted.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I know I can feel it.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That drive home, I was like, God's good to get
a break from that.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
You were lonely.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I drove back by myself, and those seven hours no
one wanted to talk to me.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I called Laura.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
I was like, hey baby, She's like.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Hey, you called me, bro. We've just spent three days
together in a car. You were hungry most of it,
so I had to try and appease you the whole time,
and then now call me to belay, Hey, what do.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
You do anyway? We're back in one piece?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Well, one piece. I did fall a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You did exceptionally well. I'm very proud of.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
You, I did hit the fence.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
We need to talk about housekeeping, we do. I love that.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
We need to talk about it all week.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
A couple of messages. Last week you told a story
about being on a flight back home. Soone next to
you eight eggs the eggs. Yeah, actually a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I can't look at eggs the same anymore like eggs.
I love eggs. I do love eggs.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
They've been really they've been tarnished.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
They just need to be not hard boiled.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Well, you actually haven't been too hard done by.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
It's not your best work, but it's good.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's not my best I'll admit good enough for me.
Just really quickly before I get into these messages. Marley's
really into jokes at the moment, and just because of
the really shit joke that I told, Marley thinks that
if words rhyme, it's a joke.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
She's not wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
So she's like, why did the chicken across the road?
And I'm like, I don't know. She's like to see
the toad road.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Toad very good, I think, But I'm that creative.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, but it's not a joke. It runs us.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
That's a poem confusing different Ah, Yes, two people wrote
in for very two people.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's Holly says, ashes Ran from last week is definitely valid.
He cannot be judged for having a late night.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
What yeah, because I was hungover.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Relax, Holly, Holy loves me.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Thanks for validating me, Holly.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Being hungover and being sensitive to smell. I am pregnant
with my first baby and have been very ill with
morning sickness all day. I was recently. I was sorry.
I was recently on a flight next to someone who
brought curry on board. The absolute worst. Cheez, what kind
of curriage?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Right to jail? So they should be there should be
air marshals dragging that person off the plane immediately.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
It's like vaping. It's like there's no vaping. There's a
curry on this fly.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You might as well bring a dead fish and put
it in a microwave. Oh I remember those people had fish,
were at like work, and I put it in. Oh God,
you would you like salmon? Ah free.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I will not be attacked. To my own podcast, Haiti says,
I was on a short, one hour domestic flight and
the girl next to me started painting her nails. The
whole plane stunk of now polish. I kind of like
that she got told to put it away, but the
damage had already been done a loll.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Oh my goodness. It's just like no self awareness.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I kind of like the arrogance of just you know,
like it's like, fuck it.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
It's like just like getting on a plane and whipping
out your feet and cutting your toenails.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Don't that as well? As you've got some housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I do? How have I forgotten Father's Day surfing? Oh shit, fuck?
Excuse me? I do have some housekeeping for us? And
the listeners laughing at me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, it's actually
not housekeeping. It's a giveaway. We got a giveaway. We
do have a giveaway. We are giving away five pro
(12:08):
model jam Pikelets soft top foamy surfboards for your dad
this summer.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
But that's not all.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
You'll get a personal message from me for Father's Day.
I don't think they want that. All you have to
do is this look. Fuck's this guy? He looks funny?
Why's he so read? All you have to do is
tag a dad in this post and what maybe just
a couple of words a while your dad is a shredder,
(12:36):
and we'll pick five. We'll announce it we'll send them out.
They'll be they'll be in your hands for twenty sixth summer.
You'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
That's okay, And I think on that note, that is
the end of house.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Cat ah A shame, it damn shame.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
A lot of people have been asking me about the
whereabouts of the one and only Ellie Johnson aka Nana. Yes,
she is still living here. She has been a little
bit quiet.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
People thought she died, but we've checked her pulse still there.
She's just resting.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
She is just resting a little bit cold. But it's
because it's winter. Yes, it's winter. But she she has
had surgery and I thought we would peel her out
of her bedroom. She is in recovery phase at the moment.
She's very drugged up on painkillers. But let's get a
little check in with Nana.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You have a sling on, a very technical looking one.
It's got clips, valka, it's got it all. Everyone was
asking if you're alive.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
You are I am alive.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
This is ai voice.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
She has come so far.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I told someone yesterday that she got a boob job. Yes,
for those who don't know Ellie, I did do a
post about it the other day. But what prestige wasn't
a boob job?
Speaker 5 (13:53):
So I tore my rotator cuff? Yeah, well how did
you tear it? Oh that's complicated because they thought I'd
freight it over time and then something innoc you was
something little just to it. Yet that happens to elderly people.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Afraid I'm waiting for Ash to make a joke about masturbating.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Well there was a reference to that in my story anyway.
So yeah, so I had to have had to have
surgery because surgeon said if I didn't, the rip would
get longer and my shoulder would just pop through when
I'd need a whole shoulder reconstruction. So I had to
do it exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yeah, and look at that age. What do you do
do you?
Speaker 6 (14:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:46):
You know that is a genuine question.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know what's really funny? Buster only has three legs.
You nearly could have been matching.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Yes, But does Buster drive? Does he cook? Does he do.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Behind a wheel of a motor vehicle? Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
What was the last time you drive in Brisbane? And
helen Ago was that?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Well there's a horse and cartle.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
No, I don't drive in Sydney. I have to admit it.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Was tough for us. We had we had the choice of, like,
you know, we're going to losing Nana for six weeks,
eight weeks right at the time when Laura is about
to give birth. Extremely selfish if you ask me.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
But but you all said do it. So I blame
you guys.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You'll be better for it.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Well that is the hope that the outcome is a
good one, okay. Yeah, So so I went in had
the procedure, and you know, the doctor came in after
surgery and said, oh, that was much longer than we thought,
and your bones were a bit spongy, which is not.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
What you want to be because of your age.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
He said, it's quite normal. So we had to put
screws in much further into the bone.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Like a rotten piece of wood.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Well you could say that.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's a very good analogy. It's bad analogy.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
A rotten piece of wood. That really makes me feel good.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
But you know, I love you though, he loves all
types of wood. I'm a wood guy.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Yeah, So there you go. Had the surgery and I
thought was all kind of going okay because they put
this block into your shoulder, which gives you twenty four
hours anesthetic. So you don't feel your shoulder when you
wake up at all. It's numbing.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Fair, I would love some of that.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Everything was going fine, but I have to say now,
Ash and Jess Matt will know this. I am very accident.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I know that too.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
I know that now something's happened my design. You know,
I do something silly, I'm clumsy. Other things just happened,
and I haven't no idea how it came about, no idea.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Just before we go into that, she says, you won't
know this about me. We had you on when you
went to Europe, and it was accident after accident. I'm
well aware of igot.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
I had forgotten that.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Anyway, go on. Sorry.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
So there I am middle of the night in bed
and I'm post surgery, post surgery, so I'm waking up
and I'm vaguely aware that the bed is wet.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Oh no, And I'm thinking, oh my, when.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You say vaguely aware, because you're.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
Still asleep and I'm post surgery and there's still crazy
it's hazy, and I'm thinking, oh, I'm embarrassing wet the bed.
So I put the light on and I swear to you,
I look down at the bed. It's like a Tarantino
movie and it's just covered in blood.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh your blood, my blood.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
I mean, I'm thinking my blood, and I'm thinking where
the hell did how did this happen?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (18:10):
And so then what I have to say though, before
you go into surgery, that they put a canula in
your hand, you know.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
That little oh yes, yeah?
Speaker 5 (18:20):
And I was linked up to a drip somehow, without
my knowing, without feeling anything. Somehow in the night, I
had torn this canula out of my hand and ripped
my veins and it was just bleeding everywhere.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
And you were asleep, so you could have let out.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
I didn't even know that I'd done it.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Why is no one checking on Nana?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
So then I looked at the end of this four
inch needle that was.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Goodness out of.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
My hand, and I noticed it's still pumping from the drip.
That's that's next to the bed that should have been
pumping into me. But it was pumping, and that was
why the bed was wet. And so it does the
whole thing was.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Being pumped in.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
So there's the pump. There's a mixture of the ivy.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
So there's a mixture of this iv being pumped and
I just still see it going out of the need.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
And because you know when you mix blood and water.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
It really spreads anyway, So what do I do? I
call a nurse. This nurse walks in and she stands
there and she goes, oh my god, what were you
doing during the night. I don't know what I did
and she looks at me.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
So then the process of change all the bed and
cleaning up everything, getting a doctor in to put the
canula back into my hand, and I'm thinking, how did
this happen to me? Why does this.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Happen to me?
Speaker 5 (20:15):
So I was all cleaned up and very went. I
kept a kind of a low profile, thinking they already
think I'm a nutcase. But the disconcerting thing was that
with the change of staff in the morning, the night
nurse came in with three other new nurses.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
This is the troublemaker, yes.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
And well, well they didn't say anything. They just came
in and I heard the nightmurs mumbled, and I'm sure
she was said, this is the nutcase who rips and
she bleeds everywhere.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Just to keep on that one. No one likes that.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
So that was a little experience I could have.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Wow, you could have bled out you.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Could bloody made a joke like this might be the
last video we ever do before you went into I.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
Did do that. Really, I was just thinking that, how
can you wrap a four inch needle RepU vein.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Someone who's got experience with things that are four inches
take it.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Away three inches? That's very funny. I was going to say.
You started to talk about changing the sheets and stuff,
and I just got PTSD immediately because changing sheets in
the middle of the night.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Yeah. Anyway, So here I am now.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
And I guess it's been a week.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Is it's been one week?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
How things tracking? If you had to check up yet?
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Tomorrow I see the surgeon tomorrow. Hopefully he'll say it's
all good.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
She's still I've got to knock her over and be like,
get out of the.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
She just doing I don't do too much now.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Doing the dishwasher last night, I was like, we've just.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Got another hand right. Actually, I was going to say,
the kitchen is a good spiruce.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
She was trying to make some raisin toast this morning
with one the razor just kept escaping her. She was
trying to put butter on it like that, just ask
for help.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
What are you doing? What is it with your generation
and not asking for help? Yeah? What is that generation?
Just ask for help? The other day I went to
my grandmother's not that you're the same generation, she's just
in she's very old. You're young and sprightly. I'm trying
not to get canceled. And I went round to her
(22:28):
house and she's on the roof. What are you doing
on the roof? And she was like, one of the
what are the roof tiles? Is lobbly. I'm like, okay,
two questions, how did you figure that out? And to
how the fuck did you get up there? Anyway, she's
got the extension ladder out, she's on the eighty eight.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
No god, yeah, credit to a little bit of inheritance
wouldn't be too bad right now.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I could use the cash. Nn So get back up
on the roof after it rained.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Well, Nana talks about the nurse coming in. Bet you
any money. She was there one handed trying to change
the sheet.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Where's the linen covered?
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Still spurt and blood. She walks down the hallway. I'm
glad you're backing.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
Yes, And well, look I've got to be in this
sling night and day for another five weeks.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Does that trial, and you said, she goes. Do not
bring up the fact that you have to do my hair,
and I said I would never dream.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
I said, don.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Girl, looks great. I was going to do pigtails.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Just shave it off.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Well, I know you want to go back to bed,
you want to lay down to go back.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I wish you was speedy recovery.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Please make sure you wash in and around it.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Where did you ever wash yesterday?
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Kate? My daughter, bless her cotton sucks. She came yesterday
and she put me in the shower.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I can't believe sponge.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
I can't believe that job bongeb.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
But she just rogued me and took this off and
put me in the show. She did say it would
have been interesting. She did say, shall I get him
dressed and get in the show? And I said, I
told you that in confidence that won't be necessary.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Thank you for jumping on.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Next time you need a bath, give me sorry man?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
That's right?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, that's all right.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
So will happen updates?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Can should I help you get back to bed?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
And I'm glad that you're alive because I'm glad I'm alive.
When Matt mentioned that people think that you're dead. I
was like, actually, seventeen ages. It's good to see Nana alive.
I will say, a couple more weeks should be up
and at him. Can't wait to your first much.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm offended. She asked me to give her a sponge bath.
I was first in line, and then next thing, my
sister rocks up and I said, what are you doing here?
She said, I'm here to bath.
Speaker 6 (25:07):
Mom.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Well, you clearly didn't say yes quick enough, quick strip
off again.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
But I was wanted to give her hair a little
doing hairs hard. I was trying to blow dryers.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I'm not good at that.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Ship. No surprises there.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, I mean, you've got two girls. I've got one.
But April does her hair most of the time. I
can like tie it up.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Love that April or the hair both. Sorry. Sorry, So.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
My wife ideas you've got a little surprise. I have
a surprise for you.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Well, what's your surprise?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What's else? Well, the same time is message. It's a message.
Oh shit, I thought, Look, the other day, you were
a little bit stressed out. You've had quite a bang
up year. Some would say you've had to deal with
a lot of things like renovations and a kid that's coming,
(26:08):
and the anxiety around all that and getting everything ready,
and it's very house falling apart because of Nature's been
a very, very stressful year.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
And at the same time, I was looking at you
and your situation, Ash, and I was thinking, Gosh, here's
someone that works tirelessly. You know, you're getting pulled pillar
at a post.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
I'm also having fun. I like that fun.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, I don't worry you having fun along the way,
but you know you're juggling multiple projects okay, and you're
looking after your two gorgeous kids, being a great husband.
And I thought, sometimes you need to smell the roses
whilst they're in blossom.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing. So I
what I did. What I did first, go on, I
reached out to your lovely wife to see if she
can get a little message from your kids for Father's
Day to you.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
I did the same thing, shut up messaged April and I.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Said, I can tell you message my wife.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Also two things that your wife had to go at
me about. One I send a message for every line.
So I sent her seven messages, being like, hey, April,
send wonder if I can ask a favorite, You're like
A you don't have people like.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Don't double message. You're like, fuck that. I'm going for seven.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Because it's easy to read a message when it's broken
down like that. I was doing her a favor and
she was like, what's wrong with you? Frequently?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
You don't message me like that?
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Don't know? And then she was like, anyway, after attacking
me about the way I said messages, I said, can
I get this message from you? And he goes, wen,
do you need it?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Buy?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
And I said tomorrow, and she's.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Like, for God's sake, I don't want to say that.
I know that you messaged her. I don't know what about,
but you did ask me for her phone number for
a third time, and quite frankly, I don't blame April
for being a little bit annoyed with you. I'm going
(27:59):
to play you a little bit of audio here. Okay,
how many times have we given Matt your phone number?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Several times?
Speaker 3 (28:05):
I'm actually kissed off the amount of times I've sent
him stuff, photos, requests, anything he needs.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
You send him photos like two days ago, yeah, a
recent family photo he needed, and still he.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Hasn't said my number, if anything, I'm actually like borderline
kissed off. Wow, how long has you been your partner
now business funner? And he still doesn't have my numbers?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Two and a half years and it's unbelievable. He doesn't
even remember my birthday. I've sent him three messages. Oh
my goodness. We got the history up of her messaging
you three three text messages before this request, okay, of
not just like hey, like files of things that you
(28:51):
need from her.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
The tone on April, the disappointment. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Well, I look, I've had to talk it down. She
was very worked up about it.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I know she was, and I apologize. Thank you for
stepping in there and helping out.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
That's okay. Well, I have Laura's number and I saved
it in multiple places, so I don't lose it.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
It is, it is saved, Okay, just just know from
this moment now, from this moment, I will never ever
ever ask for April's number ever again.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
One more time. There's got to be some sort of punishment.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I'll shave my head.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Wow. Yeah, I'm going to delete it out of your phone.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
All right.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Back to the topic at hand.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Because it is it's Father's Day as well, we also
say to all the dad's out there, listen, Happy Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Happy Father's Day to you guys, which was Sunday, just gone. Yeah,
I hope you were spoilt as you deserve. But also
I hope you spent the day with your kids and
your family. And really, I don't know. I'm just trying
to be sentimental.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
Hi, Daddy, I think I love you because you're so nice?
Can you make me happy when I'm feeling sad? You
can't to cheer her when you play with me. It's
a very funny, and you pretend to be here a
really silly monster. My favorite thing about Danny Daddy.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Is Daddy that one slipped and g think I love
about Frank.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I mean, I mean really this. I love how she
has to be prompt as well. Let's get back to
the message. Sorry daddy, Daddy, Well that's adorable.
Speaker 6 (30:32):
Have his father's say, Daddy, I love him. Be to
the bathroom silly every night, carry.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Her upside down by the legs.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, it's just easier.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
I think he's funny because I'm always funny.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Dancing, funny dancing and helways giving you tickles.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
And he's a funny man, isn't he silly.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Daddy have he does say, Daddy, I love you, I
love you.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
You're the best daddy in the whole world, the study.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
In the whole world. I love you too, Lola.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
That's adorable. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Me do a lot for them, We do everything for them,
so why not? It is weird when you're serious and
I'm trying. I know it's strange.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I'm not used to it.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
It's like getting something really spicy and it feels strange.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It's going to come out the other end, and it's
going to sting my kids in them.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
And I will echo your thoughts as.
Speaker 6 (31:32):
Happy Father's Day, Daddy, I love you, Father's Day, I
love you?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
And why do we love daddy?
Speaker 6 (31:39):
Where is it Father's Day?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
What does he do for us?
Speaker 6 (31:45):
He cleans your toilet for us?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Stuffy? Yeah? What does he do for us?
Speaker 6 (31:53):
Clean's friends for us?
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Clean?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
And do you clean the whole?
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Matt?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Do you clean?
Speaker 6 (32:03):
He's very good at a photo, he's very good at lego. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
And can we say a big love you Daddy?
Speaker 4 (32:17):
I love you you big gove you.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Love you, Daddy, so proud of everything you do. Likes
cue Macy's accent kills me.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
I love you. Are you crying?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
The topic?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I am not that?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Is that a tear?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Not at all, no way. But I love how I've
just diverted to being the kids clean over everything. Ah,
That's why I do it, so I can go home
and clean the toilet and the phones and I and
the mat. Why am I clean? Do you know why
they said the mat because on the weekend I had
to give it a deep clean.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
That we can only think back to like two days ago.
What does he do?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yes? But anyway, Happy Father's Day to you, Matthew.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And right back at.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
You all the dad's out there, the granddad's as well. Guys.
We usually do parents here, but it's Father's Day.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
You don't have to justify this to anybody.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
I feel like we do what we want very Actually.
I love that attitude.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
This is our podcast.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Actually, let's not adopt that attitude because we could get
out of hand if we just do what we want.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
So do we apologize or how do what?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I want to remember? But we're going to do some
questions to finish this off. And one that is a
reoccurring question which continues to come back up because it
is great is things not to say to a parent.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Every time we do this, we're like, surely that's enough.
We've covered all the potential idiotic things you can say
to a mother or dad, and yet the people of
the world keep putting their foot in it, saying stupid.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Stupid things to parents, which is so dumb.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
And so this is it's not just a chance for
parents to talk about the things that they've had thrown
at them, but also just like a little bit of
advice to anyone out there. Boomers looking at.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You, guys know, they're all that we better put this
on Facebook. That's what they all.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
If you're going to speak to a parent, just run
back to this segment, quick, little refresher. Just check, just
double check. If any of the things are about to
say matches up with the things that we say in
this segment, then don't fucking say it.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And I'm going to start with just a personal and
really quick that happened to me over the weekend. And
I'm going to call this person out.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Who was it.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
His name's Georgio.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Is he Italian?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I would assume, so, yeah, it's a bumby anyway, he is.
He's on another podcast called kick it forward. I know
he's the short one, he's the short shot king. Some
may say he's the list. He's fred he's jacked. I
spent some time with him in America. He's jacked. Anyway,
they did a live show. We were meant to go.
(35:08):
I couldn't go, Okay. I said to him, Hey, sorry,
I can't come tonight. My wife's a been overwhelmed with
the kids. I've got to stay home. And his response was,
I get it. I've got a dog. Ah, you just
made the list, buddy, and he he did. He did
say after I was like, how dare you say that
(35:28):
to me? Dogs are not kids?
Speaker 1 (35:31):
And also it's a great way to deflect when you're
like apologizing for something and then you can then quickly
spin it and be like, actually you're the fucking problem.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, And he was like he actually baited
me with it. He was like, I do that to
all parents, and so he knows what he's doing and
we don't appreciate it. He listens to this segment, I know, Yeah,
he was like avid listener of that segment.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Anyway, He's an informed individual.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Not do never never, And we harp on about this
all the time. Never compare your pet to a parent's kids.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Or never all right, ash. This one is from Katrina
and this is on behalf of her friend. It's oh,
it's it's the people you think you know who are
the real problem here, the culprits. So this is sorry,
Actually I'm going to retract that statement. This is her
friend submitting it. Okay, okay, you're with me, I'm with you.
I apologize about that. I was very quick to point
(36:23):
the finger at the friend. It's always the friends.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I would do the same.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
She had her kids eighteen months apart, and a random
lady said to her at the shops, Oh, he was
a mistake, wasn't he?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Oh my god? What someone? Okay, first of all, the
way she said it was a lady. We know the
age of that lady roundabouts who totally Oh why would you?
They're brazen, brazenful, Sorry that you had to endure that.
Speaker 6 (36:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
This one's from Eva. Oh god, this is going to
trigger some people. Eva said. Someone said to her, what
do you mean you're not giving her chocolate for her
first Easter at four months old? Someone? Okay, you can
give them chocolate, No anyone, breast milk bro Sorry, We're
(37:19):
gonna melt it down, put it in a bottle. Actually
that sounds but like just butt out, man, Like, first
of all, it's science.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
How old are babies when they're start having solids.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Must be like over six months? Yeah, and they've.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Got it like four months? Close enough?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
No, I think, like, just butt out.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
She got a second one there.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
There's another one here that says when you're trying for
a baby and people say, are you sure you're doing
it right? Don't ask me.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
From Zoe, my four month old has been barely slip
during the night, and I got told to just ignore
the baby and sleep through it.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
And then they also said you should just meditate when
the baby screams. When that was said, I was meditating,
slapping them.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Just meditate or just sleep through. Terrible advice. That's someone
giving you advice who probably hasn't even held a kid
or a kid.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
It was a dad saying that do what I do.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Just do what I do. Sleep right through.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
The amount of times when marleinn Laula were younger, and
I'd wake up after a pretty good night's sleep and
I sleep through a freight train, and.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I'd go, not this freight train got Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
My gosh, it's almost like a bloody like's peeling off wallpaper.
But I would say, oh, the kids, they slept pretty
well last night.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
I'd done that too.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Laura would then turn ahead and look at me, bags
under rising, like.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Yeah, so like, if you're a dad, don't say that.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
No, doesn't matter how good the sleep was. Always just say, god,
I was up four times with the kids last night.
You slept through it, and then blame it on them. Yeah,
get ahead of it, Get ahead of it.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
I say, Okay, this one's from Okay, I'm gonna mess
the pronunciation of his name, key La La, come.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
On, Kyla Okay, Kayla Kayla.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Ki Lala keela La.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I'm gone with that. That's fun beautifully, s La la.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
That's a name that we haven't thought about for number three.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Key La la at an extra hor in there, key
La la La. Just keep it going. I'm wildly on.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
You got the long one, that's what she said.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Sorry, that's that was actually pretty good. Okay. I am
wildly onto my third pregnancy, and we'll have three under
three for a week. Good thing is only a week?
Why is that fine? Just like it was the delivery.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, but also like that pain will be endured for
a very long time.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Now after the week, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
I want to get through this week. Yeah, just get
to get to Sunday right now. It's gonna be much
easier on Monday morning, She's like, why it's still so
fucking hard.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
I thought this was over anyway, my female mum of
three boss. What My female mum of three boss?
Speaker 1 (40:43):
All day?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I thought, can you read it.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
With my first She says, I didn't announce until about
twenty weeks to my boss, since I wasn't necessarily showing
and I was in a high labor farming job where
I knew they'd make me do light duties straight away.
Isn't that good?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
I thought you she was aura farming.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
No no good energy over here, So I held off
as long as she could. That's like, that is Jesus, Like,
that's admirable.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
I tell you right now. I would love light judies,
yeah right now, Yeah, give me something lighter than that.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Ashes there going, well, I'm pregnant, like Ash, you're a man.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah, I know. I'm surprised too.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
My female mum of three boss replied, Oh, I thought
you were just getting fat. Me or it's winter and
I've been wearing a jumper and some days long pants.
And the boss replied, nah, your legs are just getting chunky.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Oh my goodness. And she's a mom.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, well okay, lady, she says, well, how do you
even respond to that? I don't know, slap him in
the face to give a perspective. I'm five foot four,
about fifty to fifty five kilos, healthy ish kind of gal,
who went on to having a shy of nine pound
big baby boy my size. Are not fuck off with
your body shaming comments when people are pregnant. I thankfully
(42:05):
haven't necessarily gone back to work there since my first
because even announcing the third, the comments started again.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Yeah, dude, that is fucked up, isn't it. I think
commenting on anyone's way, especially in a workplace, that's a
viable effect. You just don't do it. You just don't
do it. It's called comments. God breeding these people, God's sake.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
I asked a question.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
We're doing the last question, next question.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
We'll wrap this up in a night as well, doing me.
You're a great reader.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
This can't patronize me. This is from Niri, got that right?
I think I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
That's condescending the fact that people still put their names
and they send any questions to this podcast.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
It's a miracle and I love it. I would love
to know your thoughts on joint birthday party protocol. We
all know my thoughts on that my son has been
invited to a joint six but sixth birthday party. He
is friends with one of the boys, but doesn't have
anything to do with the other boy. Oh whoa Okay,
hang on, is it rude only buy a gift for
(43:11):
my son's friend or should I buy two gifts? Also,
they have invited the whole class. I say with that,
that's the parents gift farming. I just coined a phrase,
excuse me, where you over invite people to give your
(43:33):
kid gifts so that you don't have to go out
and buy all these gifts that they want it.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
But don't you think it's a trade off? Right? You're
providing the venue.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
If you live there, you pay mortgage, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Feeding and cleaning the house, you're getting the preparation, you're
feeding the child, you get activities.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
You could budget your way out of that and come
out on top. I know what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
It's an exchange. It's in exchange here, It's it's a
tradition as old as I think.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
It's a con well.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Birthday parties, yeah, you already know.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
My thoughts on that. I sneak my kids into other
people's birthdays all the time. I've only ever thrown one,
but like wedding crashes for birthday parties birthday crashes.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
For those of you who are knew to the podcast,
Ash walks the parks on Saturdays and Sunday mornings with his.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Children around their birthday time.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Once he spots a bunch of balloons tied with gazebo,
he is in there and he's like, hey, good to
see you guys again.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Most of the time I'm doing it silently, or it's
a friend because it just so happens that a friend
of mine kid was born on the same day, not
the same year. His kid's younger. So when that kid
was born on that day, I was like, thank god,
he's going to save you so much money, this kid.
And now I just now it's now it's Matey's birthday.
Whenever it's his birthday.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
So would Masie get presents from other guests?
Speaker 2 (44:41):
No, they wouldn't know because I've snuck her in. Yeah,
I just get to the end of Happy Birthday to
whoever is the kid? And and Ma.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Why don't you, why don't you actually get in there
earlier and get her name, like put on the invite?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, it's I'm working on And so then I did
cop a bit of hate for this though. Remember people
were like, how tell you I have the child of
a birthday?
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I was like, well, we celebrate privately, but the thing
is ash you're starving the child or something they will
only enjoy at a young age. Okay, we don't know.
It's like a ticking time, but head when they'll stop
enjoying being sung to Happy birth as sooner the better, right,
there's there's a finite number of times they will enjoy
that song being sung to them.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
No one enjoys that song, the kids do. Hell dare
you know? Even when we sing it to Oscar as
a family, he's.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Like he's there loving it, and You're like, see he
hates it. He's in pain right now?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Yeah, he probably is. I was I am. Every time
someone pipes up and starts singing Happy birth just.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Because it hurts you doesn't mean it's going to hurt
your son. Okay, well said okay, but they're not shirt.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Don't you steal my lines?
Speaker 1 (45:45):
How dare you steal my So what I'm trying to
say is just give two birthday presents.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
No, I think it's twenty bucks.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
Twenty bucks, my.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Guy, twenty bucks. Okay, it's as much to you as
it is to them, right, what do you mean by that?
So twenty dollars is twenty dollars?
Speaker 1 (46:03):
Okay, so well slow down.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
It's as much to you as it is to them.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
So the next statement, would you say, twenty bucks is
twenty bucks? Yeah? Yeah, that's lost me.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah, so twenty dollars to you might mean something different
to someone else.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
So twenty bucks isn't twenty bucks, Well.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
It is the amounts of the same that means different.
It's different.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Yes, it's not twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Well it is because that's the year round figure.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
No, twenty bucks is twenty bucks to you, but it's
not twenty bucks someone else.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, forty bucks. That twenty dollars to you means something
else that it does to someone else. Okay, so that
twenty dollars are still twenty but it might mean someone
might be less fortunate. It might mean on a meal,
so it's fort it. No, it might mean that twenty
dollars that I am buying a gift for means that
we might miss out on a meal for my family
(46:50):
that I love very much. Yes, I'm going to take
you on a guilt journey right now.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
That's a lie.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Okay, lie to me. But you know what I mean.
So twenty dollars is going to be twenty dollars, but
it might mean less to you than it does to
someone else.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Let's let's agree to disagree.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Okay, Okay, Okay, you sure I'm positive?
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Really, don't ask me twice.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
So okay, I'm just thinking, like right here that I
would go if I don't know the other kid whatsoever. Okay,
there's no repercussions or backlash on that. I'm buying the
kid I know at present put it in the pile. Actually,
fuck it, I'm not buying any presents. I was like, yeah,
I'll make a point of it when I get there,
and it's like, where's the present pile. I'll say that,
(47:33):
so people like, Okay, he's looking for the present pile,
so he must have presents put in there. And then
after maybe after the first bevrage if there's bevrage there
and be like, yeah, I just put my present in
the pile over there, maybe got lost gas light, saved
forty bucks there in your mass it.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
Was twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Bro, it's going up now. I'm just saying, not everyone
can afford to fork out twenty dollars on a kid
they don't like. Am I right? No drager in Okay. Look,
if I think.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
We're different people and I need to appreciate I.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Think if you like I love to give gifts to
people that I know, don't try and.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Paint yourself as but something different to what.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
You actually If you're going to buy gifts for both,
then you do it within the means that you think
is appropriate. Not Matt's twenty dollars rule. He's just brought out.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
Don't be such a wuss and stick by your comments
of like, oh, buy anything for anyone else.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, I'm just trying to eaven it out of it.
Yeah fuck it, I'm not getting these kids anything they're
not going to remember. If we don't get invited the
next year, that's a win.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
And on that note, if ever, there was a nod
to why we don't give advice, that question.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Was a drivel answer that I could have possibly given.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
But if you enjoyed this episode, please review, subscribe. We
get a lot of lovely comments on Spotify, many bucks
and follow us where.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
On Instagram or TikTok, Facebook, Two Doting Dads and now
YouTube episodes, full episodes, no guest episodes.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Yeah you're greedy.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
No, it's one step at a time.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
And we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Okay, bye, this is awkward, Let's go.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Islander people's today
You are looking a little bit red in the sun.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
So embarrassed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I have so neck? You know?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Damn?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well what happened? Get started?
Speaker 4 (00:13):
Welcome back, Welcome back to two notting Dads.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I'm manage and this is a podcast all about parenting.
It is the good, it is the bad, and one
thing we will never ever ever do, even if our
lives depended on it. Well, well I probably would in
that case, but I was just trying to be dramatic.
We will never give advice, No, never give you advice.
(00:51):
But we are back from the snow. We have returned
to the motherland.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Well have we returned? And I guess so.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Some of us are rather than others.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, what's the deal with the red fight?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Some of us has some injuries.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Ash, Why do I always get hurt?
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I actually I don't know what's happened, but the first
hour of the day I can barely move. I'm still I.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Have to, like, it must be nice to be able
to move.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Take your neck brace off, for God's sake.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
It is uncomfortable. Can I take it off?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Please?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
We tell people what happened though, Yeah, oh god, it's
like I can imagine that's what it's like when women
take their bra off at the end of the day.
Am I right? Sorry? I said, I can imagine that's
what it's like. I don't know, but I guess that's
what it would feel like.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Well said, we were at the Snow, we were at Parashat.
It was a journey that was not without its mistakes.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's a lot of effort, would be honest.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
You know what, Let's start from the beginning.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Let's do that.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
It's a very long drive.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we split it that.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
What do you mean, Yeah, it is a long drive.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
We split it up though.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I think that was the smart joint drive like a maniac.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I did really hook it when it was my turn.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I'm waiting for the speed fins to come through in that.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Car, and then I'm going to disappear.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I made a mistake. I put my hand up. I
did something wrong. Sure, sure, I booked the wrong accommodation.
We had a night in Canberra before then making our
way back onto the Snow. The next morning. We checked
it at nine o'clock.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Well, we tried to check in at nine o'clock. Let
me just correct you. There. I was in the car
because it was my stint you're like, I'll get out,
I'll sort this out. I'm like, beautiful, off you go.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
And the lady was like, what's your name please. I
said it's Matt Johnson because I made the booking. And
she goes, it's not there, and I said amateur, So
whipped out my phone gave her the book in confirmation.
I said, here it is. I think that'll answer any
questions that you.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Have, ma'am about this situation.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
And she got, oh, there's a mistake here, and I
was like, I don't make my sack somehow, somehow, Okay,
I have booked it for twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Six, not even the same month though.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
For January.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Why why did you do that?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
In my defense, yeah, because I think it's like the
Midwinter Ball. I think that happens around this time, one
of the busiest weekends in the history of Canberra.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
There was a lot of peace politicians. When we turned
up that.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Way, busloads off them.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Oh man, it was like the old feeling onto the
road and I'm like, it's good to see how tax
dollars got a bunch of pierce heat.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
They like, where is the karaoke?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, they're trying to kick on a carryog. I'm ptty sure,
they're trying to usher them back to bed.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Meanwhile, I'm pleading for a bed and they're like, we're
booked out. I'm so sorry you cannot stay here.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
But you came back to the car with a very
sheepish look on your face because you don't often get
things wrong. I'm going to be give you a little
compliment there.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Thank you. I'll take that.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And you opened the door and you gave me a look,
and I knew immediately something wasn't right. I was like,
what have you done? And you admitted that you booked
it for January. But the funny thing was is that
we were meant to be meeting someone in the lobby there,
so we had to do the walk of shame.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Who went to Peppers down the road?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, we managed to get a room drop three point
fifty for a beautiful room, a disabled room. She was like,
it only we only have one room left in that
whole hotel. It's a disabled room. And I was like,
totally fine. It's a room that's catered for those that
need assistance, easy access, easy access. It had railings in
the shower, railings around the talk, which honestly I don't mind,
(04:42):
but yeah, what was concerning I think, and I think
you're about to say it was that she was like,
you better just check this room first.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I went to go page goes whoaha, whoah, whah, whoah,
you better look at the room first, And I was like.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Where is what hotel? Is this?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
We saw her and we were like, this is this
is heaven? This is perfect.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, it was fine.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
One little bed.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Which also concerning she knocked before we looked at it.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah, she was like, Jimmy, we're coming in now.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
I know. I was like, Jimmy, I was like, why
would you need to knock if the room's not rented out?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
But I woke up. I got pink eye from Ash.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
We did do a bit of a story arc that
seemed like we were having on a gaycation.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
My biggest takeaway from this trip is the fact that
it's okay to make mistakes. But second to that, the
snow is not for the faint of heart.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
No, I feel like everything takes twice as long, everything's
twice as heavy, and it's cold. Oh yeah, I'll get that,
twice as cold as everywhere else on earth. And like
it didn't really help that, like there was a big downpour.
The weather wasn't amazing, but the visibility was terrible.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
But we had a great time.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
So my first time snowboarding, you did very well. Thank
you very well.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I want to know, be honest out there. If you're
a parent, okay, and I'm not talking about those types
of people who are like Olympic level skiers or snowboarders.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Rich people.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Yeah, the rich people.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
If you're a rich pass off, stop listening.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
But actually we need to come back. But if you're
just a normal, run of the mill family, honestly, hand
on heart, do you enjoy going to the snow with
your kids? I think when you when you weigh it
all up, when you look at the tantrums and you
look at the money, are you having a good time overall? Surely?
(06:32):
Not right.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
There's a mixture of there's a mixture of different families
that I did see along the way. There was the
little three year old girl with her dad having a
great time. I was c she was skiing, dad was happy,
everyone was happy. They probably they probably had a moment
in their lives, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
In five minutes time. She was having a meltdown, for sure,
you know that for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
But At that moment, I am just like, she's great, Yeah,
that's how I'm seeing. I didn't see the melt And
then I walking through the Skeich tube hallway and there's
a mum with her kid around a similar age, and
that kid screaming on the floor as she tries to
heave a ski boot off this kid's foot, And I
was like, oh, this is not worth it, right, And
(07:14):
then you saw a pram like yes, I didn't even
have chains on its tires, and there was no baby.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
He was carrying a bugaboo pram across the snow baby less.
I can only assume that he's just jumped it.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
It's just like you know, they're on a mountain, it'll
get to the bottom.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
It was like there was one point as well on
them were coming down the mountain on our snowboards, and
there was a child like starfish laying on its back screaming.
The parent was going get up, billy, God, damn it.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
That was me.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
And I was thinking to myself, Ah, I don't know
if I want to pay like thousands of dollars to
have a meltdown, screaming match of a fight with my child.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Mark my words, I will never here we go ever
take my kids to the snow. Wow, never, never, ever, ever,
not while they're okay, hang on, let me rephrase that.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Don't backtrack on it. Now.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
They have to be over sixteen for me to take them,
fourteen sixteen, because then they can probably have a job
and pay anyway. But I'm like, as kids are they
are now where it's like I'm meant to be the
responsible adult. No, that would look way more trouble. It
was enough trouble just being with me, and I'm.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Me You're right. I was exhausted.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I know I can feel it.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
That drive home, I was like, God's good to get
a break from that.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
You were lonely.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
I drove back by myself, and those seven hours no
one wanted to talk to me.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
I called Laura.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
I was like, hey baby, She's like.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Hey, you called me, bro. We've just spent three days
together in a car. You were hungry most of it,
so I had to try and appease you the whole time,
and then now call me to belay, Hey, what do.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
You do anyway? We're back in one piece?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Well, one piece. I did fall a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
You did exceptionally well. I'm very proud of.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
You, I did hit the fence.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
We need to talk about housekeeping, we do. I love that.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
We need to talk about it all week.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
A couple of messages. Last week you told a story
about being on a flight back home. Soone next to
you eight eggs the eggs. Yeah, actually a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I can't look at eggs the same anymore like eggs.
I love eggs. I do love eggs.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
They've been really they've been tarnished.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
They just need to be not hard boiled.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Well, you actually haven't been too hard done by.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
It's not your best work, but it's good.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
It's not my best I'll admit good enough for me.
Just really quickly before I get into these messages. Marley's
really into jokes at the moment, and just because of
the really shit joke that I told, Marley thinks that
if words rhyme, it's a joke.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
She's not wrong.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
So she's like, why did the chicken across the road?
And I'm like, I don't know. She's like to see
the toad road.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Toad very good, I think, But I'm that creative.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, but it's not a joke. It runs us.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
That's a poem confusing different Ah, Yes, two people wrote
in for very two people.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
That's Holly says, ashes Ran from last week is definitely valid.
He cannot be judged for having a late night.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
What yeah, because I was hungover.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Relax, Holly, Holy loves me.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Thanks for validating me, Holly.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Being hungover and being sensitive to smell. I am pregnant
with my first baby and have been very ill with
morning sickness all day. I was recently. I was sorry.
I was recently on a flight next to someone who
brought curry on board. The absolute worst. Cheez, what kind
of curriage?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Right to jail? So they should be there should be
air marshals dragging that person off the plane immediately.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
It's like vaping. It's like there's no vaping. There's a
curry on this fly.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
You might as well bring a dead fish and put
it in a microwave. Oh I remember those people had fish,
were at like work, and I put it in. Oh God,
you would you like salmon? Ah free.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I will not be attacked. To my own podcast, Haiti says,
I was on a short, one hour domestic flight and
the girl next to me started painting her nails. The
whole plane stunk of now polish. I kind of like
that she got told to put it away, but the
damage had already been done a loll.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Oh my goodness. It's just like no self awareness.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I kind of like the arrogance of just you know,
like it's like, fuck it.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
It's like just like getting on a plane and whipping
out your feet and cutting your toenails.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Don't that as well? As you've got some housekeeping?
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I do? How have I forgotten Father's Day surfing? Oh shit, fuck?
Excuse me? I do have some housekeeping for us? And
the listeners laughing at me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, it's actually
not housekeeping. It's a giveaway. We got a giveaway. We
do have a giveaway. We are giving away five pro
(12:08):
model jam Pikelets soft top foamy surfboards for your dad
this summer.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
But that's not all.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
You'll get a personal message from me for Father's Day.
I don't think they want that. All you have to
do is this look. Fuck's this guy? He looks funny?
Why's he so read? All you have to do is
tag a dad in this post and what maybe just
a couple of words a while your dad is a shredder,
(12:36):
and we'll pick five. We'll announce it we'll send them out.
They'll be they'll be in your hands for twenty sixth summer.
You'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
That's okay, And I think on that note, that is
the end of house.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Cat ah A shame, it damn shame.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
A lot of people have been asking me about the
whereabouts of the one and only Ellie Johnson aka Nana. Yes,
she is still living here. She has been a little
bit quiet.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
People thought she died, but we've checked her pulse still there.
She's just resting.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
She is just resting a little bit cold. But it's
because it's winter. Yes, it's winter. But she she has
had surgery and I thought we would peel her out
of her bedroom. She is in recovery phase at the moment.
She's very drugged up on painkillers. But let's get a
little check in with Nana.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You have a sling on, a very technical looking one.
It's got clips, valka, it's got it all. Everyone was
asking if you're alive.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
You are I am alive.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
This is ai voice.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
She has come so far.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I told someone yesterday that she got a boob job. Yes,
for those who don't know Ellie, I did do a
post about it the other day. But what prestige wasn't
a boob job?
Speaker 5 (13:53):
So I tore my rotator cuff? Yeah, well how did
you tear it? Oh that's complicated because they thought I'd
freight it over time and then something innoc you was
something little just to it. Yet that happens to elderly people.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Afraid I'm waiting for Ash to make a joke about masturbating.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
Well there was a reference to that in my story anyway.
So yeah, so I had to have had to have
surgery because surgeon said if I didn't, the rip would
get longer and my shoulder would just pop through when
I'd need a whole shoulder reconstruction. So I had to
do it exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yeah, and look at that age. What do you do
do you?
Speaker 6 (14:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:46):
You know that is a genuine question.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You know what's really funny? Buster only has three legs.
You nearly could have been matching.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Yes, But does Buster drive? Does he cook? Does he do.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Behind a wheel of a motor vehicle? Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
What was the last time you drive in Brisbane? And
helen Ago was that?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Well there's a horse and cartle.
Speaker 5 (15:13):
No, I don't drive in Sydney. I have to admit it.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Was tough for us. We had we had the choice of, like,
you know, we're going to losing Nana for six weeks,
eight weeks right at the time when Laura is about
to give birth. Extremely selfish if you ask me.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
But but you all said do it. So I blame
you guys.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
You'll be better for it.
Speaker 5 (15:37):
Well that is the hope that the outcome is a
good one, okay. Yeah, So so I went in had
the procedure, and you know, the doctor came in after
surgery and said, oh, that was much longer than we thought,
and your bones were a bit spongy, which is not.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
What you want to be because of your age.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
He said, it's quite normal. So we had to put
screws in much further into the bone.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Like a rotten piece of wood.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Well you could say that.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
That's a very good analogy. It's bad analogy.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
A rotten piece of wood. That really makes me feel good.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
But you know, I love you though, he loves all
types of wood. I'm a wood guy.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Yeah, So there you go. Had the surgery and I
thought was all kind of going okay because they put
this block into your shoulder, which gives you twenty four
hours anesthetic. So you don't feel your shoulder when you
wake up at all. It's numbing.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Fair, I would love some of that.
Speaker 5 (16:35):
Everything was going fine, but I have to say now,
Ash and Jess Matt will know this. I am very accident.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
I know that too.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
I know that now something's happened my design. You know,
I do something silly, I'm clumsy. Other things just happened,
and I haven't no idea how it came about, no idea.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Just before we go into that, she says, you won't
know this about me. We had you on when you
went to Europe, and it was accident after accident. I'm
well aware of igot.
Speaker 5 (17:15):
I had forgotten that.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Anyway, go on. Sorry.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
So there I am middle of the night in bed
and I'm post surgery, post surgery, so I'm waking up
and I'm vaguely aware that the bed is wet.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Oh no, And I'm thinking, oh my, when.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
You say vaguely aware, because you're.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
Still asleep and I'm post surgery and there's still crazy
it's hazy, and I'm thinking, oh, I'm embarrassing wet the bed.
So I put the light on and I swear to you,
I look down at the bed. It's like a Tarantino
movie and it's just covered in blood.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Oh your blood, my blood.
Speaker 5 (18:02):
I mean, I'm thinking my blood, and I'm thinking where
the hell did how did this happen?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Wow?
Speaker 5 (18:10):
And so then what I have to say though, before
you go into surgery, that they put a canula in
your hand, you know.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
That little oh yes, yeah?
Speaker 5 (18:20):
And I was linked up to a drip somehow, without
my knowing, without feeling anything. Somehow in the night, I
had torn this canula out of my hand and ripped
my veins and it was just bleeding everywhere.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
And you were asleep, so you could have let out.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
I didn't even know that I'd done it.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Why is no one checking on Nana?
Speaker 5 (18:52):
So then I looked at the end of this four
inch needle that was.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Goodness out of.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
My hand, and I noticed it's still pumping from the drip.
That's that's next to the bed that should have been
pumping into me. But it was pumping, and that was
why the bed was wet. And so it does the
whole thing was.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Being pumped in.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
So there's the pump. There's a mixture of the ivy.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
So there's a mixture of this iv being pumped and
I just still see it going out of the need.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
And because you know when you mix blood and water.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
It really spreads anyway, So what do I do? I
call a nurse. This nurse walks in and she stands
there and she goes, oh my god, what were you
doing during the night. I don't know what I did
and she looks at me.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
So then the process of change all the bed and
cleaning up everything, getting a doctor in to put the
canula back into my hand, and I'm thinking, how did
this happen to me? Why does this.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Happen to me?
Speaker 5 (20:15):
So I was all cleaned up and very went. I
kept a kind of a low profile, thinking they already
think I'm a nutcase. But the disconcerting thing was that
with the change of staff in the morning, the night
nurse came in with three other new nurses.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
This is the troublemaker, yes.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
And well, well they didn't say anything. They just came
in and I heard the nightmurs mumbled, and I'm sure
she was said, this is the nutcase who rips and
she bleeds everywhere.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Just to keep on that one. No one likes that.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
So that was a little experience I could have.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Wow, you could have bled out you.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Could bloody made a joke like this might be the
last video we ever do before you went into I.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
Did do that. Really, I was just thinking that, how
can you wrap a four inch needle RepU vein.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Someone who's got experience with things that are four inches
take it.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Away three inches? That's very funny. I was going to say.
You started to talk about changing the sheets and stuff,
and I just got PTSD immediately because changing sheets in
the middle of the night.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Yeah. Anyway, So here I am now.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
And I guess it's been a week.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Is it's been one week?
Speaker 1 (21:35):
How things tracking? If you had to check up yet?
Speaker 5 (21:37):
Tomorrow I see the surgeon tomorrow. Hopefully he'll say it's
all good.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
She's still I've got to knock her over and be like,
get out of the.
Speaker 5 (21:46):
She just doing I don't do too much now.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Doing the dishwasher last night, I was like, we've just.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Got another hand right. Actually, I was going to say,
the kitchen is a good spiruce.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
She was trying to make some raisin toast this morning
with one the razor just kept escaping her. She was
trying to put butter on it like that, just ask
for help.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
What are you doing? What is it with your generation
and not asking for help? Yeah? What is that generation?
Just ask for help? The other day I went to
my grandmother's not that you're the same generation, she's just
in she's very old. You're young and sprightly. I'm trying
not to get canceled. And I went round to her
(22:28):
house and she's on the roof. What are you doing
on the roof? And she was like, one of the
what are the roof tiles? Is lobbly. I'm like, okay,
two questions, how did you figure that out? And to
how the fuck did you get up there? Anyway, she's
got the extension ladder out, she's on the eighty eight.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
No god, yeah, credit to a little bit of inheritance
wouldn't be too bad right now.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I could use the cash. Nn So get back up
on the roof after it rained.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Well, Nana talks about the nurse coming in. Bet you
any money. She was there one handed trying to change
the sheet.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Where's the linen covered?
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Still spurt and blood. She walks down the hallway. I'm
glad you're backing.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
Yes, And well, look I've got to be in this
sling night and day for another five weeks.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Does that trial, and you said, she goes. Do not
bring up the fact that you have to do my hair,
and I said I would never dream.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
I said, don.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Girl, looks great. I was going to do pigtails.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Just shave it off.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Well, I know you want to go back to bed,
you want to lay down to go back.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I wish you was speedy recovery.
Speaker 5 (23:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Please make sure you wash in and around it.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Where did you ever wash yesterday?
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Kate? My daughter, bless her cotton sucks. She came yesterday
and she put me in the shower.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
I can't believe sponge.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
I can't believe that job bongeb.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
But she just rogued me and took this off and
put me in the show. She did say it would
have been interesting. She did say, shall I get him
dressed and get in the show? And I said, I
told you that in confidence that won't be necessary.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Thank you for jumping on.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Next time you need a bath, give me sorry man?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
That's right?
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, that's all right.
Speaker 5 (24:37):
So will happen updates?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Can should I help you get back to bed?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
And I'm glad that you're alive because I'm glad I'm alive.
When Matt mentioned that people think that you're dead. I
was like, actually, seventeen ages. It's good to see Nana alive.
I will say, a couple more weeks should be up
and at him. Can't wait to your first much.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm offended. She asked me to give her a sponge bath.
I was first in line, and then next thing, my
sister rocks up and I said, what are you doing here?
She said, I'm here to bath.
Speaker 6 (25:07):
Mom.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Well, you clearly didn't say yes quick enough, quick strip
off again.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
But I was wanted to give her hair a little
doing hairs hard. I was trying to blow dryers.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I'm not good at that.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Ship. No surprises there.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, I mean, you've got two girls. I've got one.
But April does her hair most of the time. I
can like tie it up.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Love that April or the hair both. Sorry. Sorry, So.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
My wife ideas you've got a little surprise. I have
a surprise for you.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Well, what's your surprise?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
What's else? Well, the same time is message. It's a message.
Oh shit, I thought, Look, the other day, you were
a little bit stressed out. You've had quite a bang
up year. Some would say you've had to deal with
a lot of things like renovations and a kid that's coming,
(26:08):
and the anxiety around all that and getting everything ready,
and it's very house falling apart because of Nature's been
a very, very stressful year.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
And at the same time, I was looking at you
and your situation, Ash, and I was thinking, Gosh, here's
someone that works tirelessly. You know, you're getting pulled pillar
at a post.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
I'm also having fun. I like that fun.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Yeah, I don't worry you having fun along the way,
but you know you're juggling multiple projects okay, and you're
looking after your two gorgeous kids, being a great husband.
And I thought, sometimes you need to smell the roses
whilst they're in blossom.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing. So I
what I did. What I did first, go on, I
reached out to your lovely wife to see if she
can get a little message from your kids for Father's
Day to you.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
I did the same thing, shut up messaged April and I.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
Said, I can tell you message my wife.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Also two things that your wife had to go at
me about. One I send a message for every line.
So I sent her seven messages, being like, hey, April,
send wonder if I can ask a favorite, You're like
A you don't have people like.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Don't double message. You're like, fuck that. I'm going for seven.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Because it's easy to read a message when it's broken
down like that. I was doing her a favor and
she was like, what's wrong with you? Frequently?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
You don't message me like that?
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Don't know? And then she was like, anyway, after attacking
me about the way I said messages, I said, can
I get this message from you? And he goes, wen,
do you need it?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Buy?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
And I said tomorrow, and she's.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Like, for God's sake, I don't want to say that.
I know that you messaged her. I don't know what about,
but you did ask me for her phone number for
a third time, and quite frankly, I don't blame April
for being a little bit annoyed with you. I'm going
(27:59):
to play you a little bit of audio here. Okay,
how many times have we given Matt your phone number?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Several times?
Speaker 3 (28:05):
I'm actually kissed off the amount of times I've sent
him stuff, photos, requests, anything he needs.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
You send him photos like two days ago, yeah, a
recent family photo he needed, and still he.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Hasn't said my number, if anything, I'm actually like borderline
kissed off. Wow, how long has you been your partner
now business funner? And he still doesn't have my numbers?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Two and a half years and it's unbelievable. He doesn't
even remember my birthday. I've sent him three messages. Oh
my goodness. We got the history up of her messaging
you three three text messages before this request, okay, of
not just like hey, like files of things that you
(28:51):
need from her.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
The tone on April, the disappointment. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
Well, I look, I've had to talk it down. She
was very worked up about it.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I know she was, and I apologize. Thank you for
stepping in there and helping out.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
That's okay. Well, I have Laura's number and I saved
it in multiple places, so I don't lose it.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
It is, it is saved, Okay, just just know from
this moment now, from this moment, I will never ever
ever ask for April's number ever again.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
One more time. There's got to be some sort of punishment.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I'll shave my head.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Wow. Yeah, I'm going to delete it out of your phone.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
All right.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Back to the topic at hand.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Because it is it's Father's Day as well, we also
say to all the dad's out there, listen, Happy Father's Day.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Happy Father's Day to you guys, which was Sunday, just gone. Yeah,
I hope you were spoilt as you deserve. But also
I hope you spent the day with your kids and
your family. And really, I don't know. I'm just trying
to be sentimental.
Speaker 6 (29:51):
Hi, Daddy, I think I love you because you're so nice?
Can you make me happy when I'm feeling sad? You
can't to cheer her when you play with me. It's
a very funny, and you pretend to be here a
really silly monster. My favorite thing about Danny Daddy.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Is Daddy that one slipped and g think I love
about Frank.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
I mean, I mean really this. I love how she
has to be prompt as well. Let's get back to
the message. Sorry daddy, Daddy, Well that's adorable.
Speaker 6 (30:32):
Have his father's say, Daddy, I love him. Be to
the bathroom silly every night, carry.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Her upside down by the legs.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yeah, it's just easier.
Speaker 6 (30:48):
I think he's funny because I'm always funny.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
Dancing, funny dancing and helways giving you tickles.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
And he's a funny man, isn't he silly.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Daddy have he does say, Daddy, I love you, I
love you.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
You're the best daddy in the whole world, the study.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
In the whole world. I love you too, Lola.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
That's adorable. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
Me do a lot for them, We do everything for them,
so why not? It is weird when you're serious and
I'm trying. I know it's strange.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
I'm not used to it.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
It's okay.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
It's like getting something really spicy and it feels strange.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
It's going to come out the other end, and it's
going to sting my kids in them.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
And I will echo your thoughts as.
Speaker 6 (31:32):
Happy Father's Day, Daddy, I love you, Father's Day, I
love you?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
And why do we love daddy?
Speaker 6 (31:39):
Where is it Father's Day?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
What does he do for us?
Speaker 6 (31:45):
He cleans your toilet for us?
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Stuffy? Yeah? What does he do for us?
Speaker 6 (31:53):
Clean's friends for us?
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Clean?
Speaker 2 (31:57):
And do you clean the whole?
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Matt?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Do you clean?
Speaker 6 (32:03):
He's very good at a photo, he's very good at lego. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
And can we say a big love you Daddy?
Speaker 4 (32:17):
I love you you big gove you.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Love you, Daddy, so proud of everything you do. Likes
cue Macy's accent kills me.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
I love you. Are you crying?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh my god?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
The topic?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I am not that?
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Is that a tear?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Not at all, no way. But I love how I've
just diverted to being the kids clean over everything. Ah,
That's why I do it, so I can go home
and clean the toilet and the phones and I and
the mat. Why am I clean? Do you know why
they said the mat because on the weekend I had
to give it a deep clean.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
That we can only think back to like two days ago.
What does he do?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yes? But anyway, Happy Father's Day to you, Matthew.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
And right back at.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
You all the dad's out there, the granddad's as well. Guys.
We usually do parents here, but it's Father's Day.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
You don't have to justify this to anybody.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
I feel like we do what we want very Actually.
I love that attitude.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
This is our podcast.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Actually, let's not adopt that attitude because we could get
out of hand if we just do what we want.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
So do we apologize or how do what?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I want to remember? But we're going to do some
questions to finish this off. And one that is a
reoccurring question which continues to come back up because it
is great is things not to say to a parent.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Every time we do this, we're like, surely that's enough.
We've covered all the potential idiotic things you can say
to a mother or dad, and yet the people of
the world keep putting their foot in it, saying stupid.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Stupid things to parents, which is so dumb.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
And so this is it's not just a chance for
parents to talk about the things that they've had thrown
at them, but also just like a little bit of
advice to anyone out there. Boomers looking at.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You, guys know, they're all that we better put this
on Facebook. That's what they all.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
If you're going to speak to a parent, just run
back to this segment, quick, little refresher. Just check, just
double check. If any of the things are about to
say matches up with the things that we say in
this segment, then don't fucking say it.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And I'm going to start with just a personal and
really quick that happened to me over the weekend. And
I'm going to call this person out.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Who was it.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
His name's Georgio.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Is he Italian?
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I would assume, so, yeah, it's a bumby anyway, he is.
He's on another podcast called kick it forward. I know
he's the short one, he's the short shot king. Some
may say he's the list. He's fred he's jacked. I
spent some time with him in America. He's jacked. Anyway,
they did a live show. We were meant to go.
(35:08):
I couldn't go, Okay. I said to him, Hey, sorry,
I can't come tonight. My wife's a been overwhelmed with
the kids. I've got to stay home. And his response was,
I get it. I've got a dog. Ah, you just
made the list, buddy, and he he did. He did
say after I was like, how dare you say that
(35:28):
to me? Dogs are not kids?
Speaker 1 (35:31):
And also it's a great way to deflect when you're
like apologizing for something and then you can then quickly
spin it and be like, actually you're the fucking problem.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, And he was like he actually baited
me with it. He was like, I do that to
all parents, and so he knows what he's doing and
we don't appreciate it. He listens to this segment, I know, Yeah,
he was like avid listener of that segment.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Anyway, He's an informed individual.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Not do never never, And we harp on about this
all the time. Never compare your pet to a parent's kids.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Or never all right, ash. This one is from Katrina
and this is on behalf of her friend. It's oh,
it's it's the people you think you know who are
the real problem here, the culprits. So this is sorry,
Actually I'm going to retract that statement. This is her
friend submitting it. Okay, okay, you're with me, I'm with you.
I apologize about that. I was very quick to point
(36:23):
the finger at the friend. It's always the friends.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I would do the same.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
She had her kids eighteen months apart, and a random
lady said to her at the shops, Oh, he was
a mistake, wasn't he?
Speaker 2 (36:36):
Oh my god? What someone? Okay, first of all, the
way she said it was a lady. We know the
age of that lady roundabouts who totally Oh why would you?
They're brazen, brazenful, Sorry that you had to endure that.
Speaker 6 (36:57):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
This one's from Eva. Oh god, this is going to
trigger some people. Eva said. Someone said to her, what
do you mean you're not giving her chocolate for her
first Easter at four months old? Someone? Okay, you can
give them chocolate, No anyone, breast milk bro Sorry, We're
(37:19):
gonna melt it down, put it in a bottle. Actually
that sounds but like just butt out, man, Like, first
of all, it's science.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
How old are babies when they're start having solids.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Must be like over six months? Yeah, and they've.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Got it like four months? Close enough?
Speaker 2 (37:35):
No, I think, like, just butt out.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
She got a second one there.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
There's another one here that says when you're trying for
a baby and people say, are you sure you're doing
it right? Don't ask me.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
From Zoe, my four month old has been barely slip
during the night, and I got told to just ignore
the baby and sleep through it.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
And then they also said you should just meditate when
the baby screams. When that was said, I was meditating,
slapping them.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Just meditate or just sleep through. Terrible advice. That's someone
giving you advice who probably hasn't even held a kid
or a kid.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
It was a dad saying that do what I do.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Just do what I do. Sleep right through.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
The amount of times when marleinn Laula were younger, and
I'd wake up after a pretty good night's sleep and
I sleep through a freight train, and.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I'd go, not this freight train got Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
My gosh, it's almost like a bloody like's peeling off wallpaper.
But I would say, oh, the kids, they slept pretty
well last night.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
I'd done that too.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Laura would then turn ahead and look at me, bags
under rising, like.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Yeah, so like, if you're a dad, don't say that.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
No, doesn't matter how good the sleep was. Always just say, god,
I was up four times with the kids last night.
You slept through it, and then blame it on them. Yeah,
get ahead of it, Get ahead of it.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
I say, Okay, this one's from Okay, I'm gonna mess
the pronunciation of his name, key La La, come.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
On, Kyla Okay, Kayla Kayla.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
Ki Lala keela La.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I'm gone with that. That's fun beautifully, s La la.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
That's a name that we haven't thought about for number three.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Key La la at an extra hor in there, key
La la La. Just keep it going. I'm wildly on.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
You got the long one, that's what she said.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Sorry, that's that was actually pretty good. Okay. I am
wildly onto my third pregnancy, and we'll have three under
three for a week. Good thing is only a week?
Why is that fine? Just like it was the delivery.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, but also like that pain will be endured for
a very long time.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Now after the week, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
I want to get through this week. Yeah, just get
to get to Sunday right now. It's gonna be much
easier on Monday morning, She's like, why it's still so
fucking hard.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
I thought this was over anyway, my female mum of
three boss. What My female mum of three boss?
Speaker 1 (40:43):
All day?
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I thought, can you read it.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
With my first She says, I didn't announce until about
twenty weeks to my boss, since I wasn't necessarily showing
and I was in a high labor farming job where
I knew they'd make me do light duties straight away.
Isn't that good?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
I thought you she was aura farming.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
No no good energy over here, So I held off
as long as she could. That's like, that is Jesus, Like,
that's admirable.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
I tell you right now. I would love light judies,
yeah right now, Yeah, give me something lighter than that.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Ashes there going, well, I'm pregnant, like Ash, you're a man.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
Yeah, I know. I'm surprised too.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
My female mum of three boss replied, Oh, I thought
you were just getting fat. Me or it's winter and
I've been wearing a jumper and some days long pants.
And the boss replied, nah, your legs are just getting chunky.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
Oh my goodness. And she's a mom.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, well okay, lady, she says, well, how do you
even respond to that? I don't know, slap him in
the face to give a perspective. I'm five foot four,
about fifty to fifty five kilos, healthy ish kind of gal,
who went on to having a shy of nine pound
big baby boy my size. Are not fuck off with
your body shaming comments when people are pregnant. I thankfully
(42:05):
haven't necessarily gone back to work there since my first
because even announcing the third, the comments started again.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Yeah, dude, that is fucked up, isn't it. I think
commenting on anyone's way, especially in a workplace, that's a
viable effect. You just don't do it. You just don't
do it. It's called comments. God breeding these people, God's sake.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
I asked a question.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
We're doing the last question, next question.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
We'll wrap this up in a night as well, doing me.
You're a great reader.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
This can't patronize me. This is from Niri, got that right?
I think I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
That's condescending the fact that people still put their names
and they send any questions to this podcast.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
It's a miracle and I love it. I would love
to know your thoughts on joint birthday party protocol. We
all know my thoughts on that my son has been
invited to a joint six but sixth birthday party. He
is friends with one of the boys, but doesn't have
anything to do with the other boy. Oh whoa Okay,
hang on, is it rude only buy a gift for
(43:11):
my son's friend or should I buy two gifts? Also,
they have invited the whole class. I say with that,
that's the parents gift farming. I just coined a phrase,
excuse me, where you over invite people to give your
(43:33):
kid gifts so that you don't have to go out
and buy all these gifts that they want it.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
But don't you think it's a trade off? Right? You're
providing the venue.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
If you live there, you pay mortgage, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
Feeding and cleaning the house, you're getting the preparation, you're
feeding the child, you get activities.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
You could budget your way out of that and come
out on top. I know what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
It's an exchange. It's in exchange here, It's it's a
tradition as old as I think.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
It's a con well.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Birthday parties, yeah, you already know.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
My thoughts on that. I sneak my kids into other
people's birthdays all the time. I've only ever thrown one,
but like wedding crashes for birthday parties birthday crashes.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
For those of you who are knew to the podcast,
Ash walks the parks on Saturdays and Sunday mornings with his.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Children around their birthday time.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Once he spots a bunch of balloons tied with gazebo,
he is in there and he's like, hey, good to
see you guys again.
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Most of the time I'm doing it silently, or it's
a friend because it just so happens that a friend
of mine kid was born on the same day, not
the same year. His kid's younger. So when that kid
was born on that day, I was like, thank god,
he's going to save you so much money, this kid.
And now I just now it's now it's Matey's birthday.
Whenever it's his birthday.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
So would Masie get presents from other guests?
Speaker 2 (44:41):
No, they wouldn't know because I've snuck her in. Yeah,
I just get to the end of Happy Birthday to
whoever is the kid? And and Ma.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Why don't you, why don't you actually get in there
earlier and get her name, like put on the invite?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Well, it's I'm working on And so then I did
cop a bit of hate for this though. Remember people
were like, how tell you I have the child of
a birthday?
Speaker 1 (45:02):
I was like, well, we celebrate privately, but the thing
is ash you're starving the child or something they will
only enjoy at a young age. Okay, we don't know.
It's like a ticking time, but head when they'll stop
enjoying being sung to Happy birth as sooner the better, right,
there's there's a finite number of times they will enjoy
that song being sung to them.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
No one enjoys that song, the kids do. Hell dare
you know? Even when we sing it to Oscar as
a family, he's.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Like he's there loving it, and You're like, see he
hates it. He's in pain right now?
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Yeah, he probably is. I was I am. Every time
someone pipes up and starts singing Happy birth just.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Because it hurts you doesn't mean it's going to hurt
your son. Okay, well said okay, but they're not shirt.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
Don't you steal my lines?
Speaker 1 (45:45):
How dare you steal my So what I'm trying to
say is just give two birthday presents.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
No, I think it's twenty bucks.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
Twenty bucks, my.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Guy, twenty bucks. Okay, it's as much to you as
it is to them, right, what do you mean by that?
So twenty dollars is twenty dollars?
Speaker 1 (46:03):
Okay, so well slow down.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
It's as much to you as it is to them.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
So the next statement, would you say, twenty bucks is
twenty bucks? Yeah? Yeah, that's lost me.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Yeah, so twenty dollars to you might mean something different
to someone else.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
So twenty bucks isn't twenty bucks, Well.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
It is the amounts of the same that means different.
It's different.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Yes, it's not twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Well it is because that's the year round figure.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
No, twenty bucks is twenty bucks to you, but it's
not twenty bucks someone else.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, forty bucks. That twenty dollars to you means something
else that it does to someone else. Okay, so that
twenty dollars are still twenty but it might mean someone
might be less fortunate. It might mean on a meal,
so it's fort it. No, it might mean that twenty
dollars that I am buying a gift for means that
we might miss out on a meal for my family
(46:50):
that I love very much. Yes, I'm going to take
you on a guilt journey right now.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
That's a lie.
Speaker 2 (46:54):
Okay, lie to me. But you know what I mean.
So twenty dollars is going to be twenty dollars, but
it might mean less to you than it does to
someone else.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Let's let's agree to disagree.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Okay, Okay, Okay, you sure I'm positive?
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Really, don't ask me twice.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
So okay, I'm just thinking, like right here that I
would go if I don't know the other kid whatsoever. Okay,
there's no repercussions or backlash on that. I'm buying the
kid I know at present put it in the pile. Actually,
fuck it, I'm not buying any presents. I was like, yeah,
I'll make a point of it when I get there,
and it's like, where's the present pile. I'll say that,
(47:33):
so people like, Okay, he's looking for the present pile,
so he must have presents put in there. And then
after maybe after the first bevrage if there's bevrage there
and be like, yeah, I just put my present in
the pile over there, maybe got lost gas light, saved
forty bucks there in your mass it.
Speaker 1 (47:50):
Was twenty bucks.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Bro, it's going up now. I'm just saying, not everyone
can afford to fork out twenty dollars on a kid
they don't like. Am I right? No drager in Okay. Look,
if I think.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
We're different people and I need to appreciate I.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Think if you like I love to give gifts to
people that I know, don't try and.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Paint yourself as but something different to what.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
You actually If you're going to buy gifts for both,
then you do it within the means that you think
is appropriate. Not Matt's twenty dollars rule. He's just brought out.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
Don't be such a wuss and stick by your comments
of like, oh, buy anything for anyone else.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yeah, I'm just trying to eaven it out of it.
Yeah fuck it, I'm not getting these kids anything they're
not going to remember. If we don't get invited the
next year, that's a win.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
And on that note, if ever, there was a nod
to why we don't give advice, that question.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Was a drivel answer that I could have possibly given.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
But if you enjoyed this episode, please review, subscribe. We
get a lot of lovely comments on Spotify, many bucks
and follow us where.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
On Instagram or TikTok, Facebook, Two Doting Dads and now
YouTube episodes, full episodes, no guest episodes.
Speaker 1 (49:12):
Yeah you're greedy.
Speaker 2 (49:14):
No, it's one step at a time.
Speaker 1 (49:16):
And we'll see you guys next week.
Speaker 2 (49:17):
Okay, bye, this is awkward, Let's go.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (49:37):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Islander people's today
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