September 28, 2025 • 32 mins
We’ve got something different for you this week, our first-ever live show!
Recorded at the Apple Store on George Street in Sydney as part of a Today at Apple event, this bonus episode brings you straight into the room with us. Expect plenty of laughs, dad banter, and a taste of what it’s like when the Two Doting Dads hit the stage.
Couldn’t make it on the day? Don’t worry! This is the next best thing.
And hey… if you like the idea of more live shows, let us know. We just might have to do it again. 😉
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https://www.twodotingdads.com/category/all-products
Buy our book, which is now available in-store!
https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ash, Yes, what buddy, what's that?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Big?
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Guess what I've got not just for you, but for
the listeners as well, A very big, super special, juicy
surprise dropping in your ears right now, right the second
to get ready for it? Sit down?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What could it possibly be? Matthew?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's a bonus episode? Oh whoa would you would think
they would figure that out because they're listening right now.
But what did we do? Well? Ash? We recorded a
very first ever live show at the Apple Store in
Sydney on George Street. And if you weren't there, shame
on you. How dare you?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We'll see you next time hopefully.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But for those of you who are outside of Sydney,
the good news is we've packaged it up as a beautiful, sexy,
delicious bonus episode.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I love the way you said that, Madam was a
fun that little ride in the Apple Store, such a
nice building, especially at night.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You know what My favorite part of the show was
when we're walking off and you said, my phone has
never been so charged.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I loved this. I love I love doing the event
here at the Apple Store because my phone's never been
so charged.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And it's a shame that won't make it onto the
bonus episode, I was like, I've got to put it
in there.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Somehow. It was a great lit nugget for me. Actually,
I chuckled my way out the door. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
So please enjoy our today at Apple event. Welcome back
to Two Dating Dads. I am Maddie Jay, and this
is a podcast about her and it is good.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
It is the bad and the relatable.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And we don't give advice, but what we do do.
Did you see as you shouldn't say to.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
A parent, Oh gosh, you got your hands full.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I don't know what's wrong with your kid, but my
kids sleeps through the whole night.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
When you're pregnant, you announced the sex of your child
and they respond, will you try for a boy next time?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I'm still pregnant. Much to say, April and teen is
great to have you here, ashes out of half. Laura's
not here. I had to make her not come otherwise
She's steal the limelight.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
As she always does, and she's pregnant. Everyone be looking
at her belly right outside. I know she loves it too.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I do have to start this podcast and say, welcome
back to two Dotting Dads. I am Maddie Jay and
I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It
is the good, it is.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
The bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
And this will come as a surprise to no one,
But today we will not give any type of advice.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Absolutely not, no way, No, wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Dare is Angie here? Where's Angie? Angie? Thank you? I
just want to say thank you for your support. I
saw you doing stories before and I was like, and
you you reshuffled? I was saying to Ash, I was.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Like, did you I love that?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well? And I'll also say, Elizabeth, I was an interpreter.
Who has to say everything that I say? I'm sorry,
does anyone know the story of how Ash and I met? Anyone? Well,
you're in for a treat.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
We get this question a lot. How did this all start?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
So it will those two thousand and twenty two?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Whoa that went fast?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I know you started following me on social media?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Incorrect? Immediately incorrect.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I've actually got who do you think message? Who first?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
You definitely messaged will you followed me first? Because April
made me follow you back?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, first message here was from Ashwick's on the thirtieth
of September. Look, do you know what you said? No?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
You said it.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
No, you said, I wonder if I could sell my
townhouse that I'm currently renting.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I was renting it. Weird opening line, must have a couple.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
And then and then I got married not long after that,
and you were saying, you.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Know it is the invite on that one.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Well you just came in too late.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, I would have been best man, though surely.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I was thinking. I was thinking of Laura. I was like,
should I should I invite him?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I wouldn't have come, but you should have.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
But I didn't invite you to the wedding. I invited
you to a Christmas party that I got invited to us.
I could bring it.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Get some say Christmas party is just as good as
a wedding.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
It's on parth.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Why I say that?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
And then you said I'd love to come. Let's wear
matching shirts.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
We did so I organized matching shirts because I'm lame
like that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And I was like, this guy's this guy's coming on strong.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It was a bit march.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I was like, can I pull out? Should we do this?
But we decided on a bar. We did Yep, we
would meet for a few drinks. I was late, as
per usual, and it was it was kind of like
a first date. I was a little bit nervous.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
More like a job interview. That's what I felt like.
I felt like you were interviewing me.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
And then the poor bartender must have been like, what
are these two guys doing? Because we were so.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Like matching shirts. I thought we looked good.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
We look great.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
But I've looked at photos back and I was like,
that's probably not a good move.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
No, it wasn't. But then things were progressing nicely. We
did a couple of videos together and yeah, we did
one video in Centennial Park which went gangbusters.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, it was more dramatic than I thought it was
going to be. And the person who edited is actually here,
so thank you for that. He said, what about this version?
And it was like the sound.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Of music, and I thought there's something here. But still
I wasn't quite sure where I wanted the relationship to go.
I wasn't ready to commit to anything serious at the time,
but I knew there was really strong chemistry. And then
you came out, sat me down, and propositioned me.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I did that sounds terrible, but yes I did. I
asked you about starting a podcast, and I was pretty naive.
I've never done one. Matt has done a few podcasts,
some of them most of them had failed. And I
asked him a few times and he said no because
he knew how much work goes into this. I mean,
you guys get to listen to it, which is great,
(05:48):
but we worked tirelessly sometimes.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I said, what do you know about podcasting? And
you were like nothing, nothing, no, And I was like,
I just I don't have the time right now. We've
just had our second baby. I'm flattered, but.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Three years before that was it.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I said no.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
He did say no a few times. I was persistent,
and then I gaslighted him into saying that I had
another dad. And I just said, it's all good. I'm fine.
I've got someone else that's willing to do this podcast.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And I said who is it?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And I wouldn't tell him because there was no one.
I made it up. I left it a week. I
let him stew. I knew what I was doing. I'm
an ex car salesman, as most of you know. I'm
pretty slimy like that.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
He played me like a fiddle.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Oh, I enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I've got another buyer interested in.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Literally, I was like, they're coming this afternoon to test
drive it.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
You better be quick now, and I was like, Laura,
what should I do? I might lose him. It was
like bring him over and do a test recall.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, I left it a week and then I gave
you one more opportunity before I gave the fake dad
the actual gig. And yeah, we Laura, obviously with her
podcast career, had the equipment at home and we picked
it up and gave it a go. I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And then I was listening back after the record. I
think I thought it went well, and I was on
the couch. I was playing it from a laptop. It
was Apple of course and real subtle.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
How do you do Apple interpreter?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
App?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Obviously that was so silly. I apologize about that.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
And Laura said, I think there's something here and I said, well,
let's just give it a shot. I'm not sure how
long it'll last, but we're coming.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Up to one hundred and sixty nine episodes. Let's look
at that producer make sure that's correct. Yep, as she is.
Thank you, I know, and we we didn't know what
to expect. I mean, the first podcast we actually did.
We filmed it at your place on the dining room table,
and I remember vividly washing on the table. There were kids,
(07:56):
cutlery and plates and all sorts of thing everywhere. And
we posted it online and someone was like, that looks
like my house, and I felt like at that point
we had something. That's when I felt like we had something.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I don't know about you, but the approach to the
podcast sounds really dumb and simple, but that really is
who we are.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
True Well said it was a T shirt.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I feel like we need to be more sophisticated in
this environment. We spent so long slaving over the strategy.
It was just a disaster that we had each week.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, exactly right. It was the week that was. But
then we sort of branched out into other topics, such
as vasectomies, which is a classic on my part.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I guess you were the you were the I'm dealing
with the pressure you are, Yeah, of the visectomy chat
at the moment, I'm about to have my third child
in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yes, congratulations, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
You're not having it.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You've done none of the work, No, the initial work.
I'm assuming anyway, Well, we don't know. I'll talk to
Laura later and see who did all the week. Anyway,
there was a time where I didn't have a sex toy,
and now it's most of my personality. If anyone who
knows me and my wife over here, April, I'm not
alouder for a first anymore, because you've done to the
(09:13):
matter need me anyway, I was shocked.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I was shocked at you're thirty one. At the time,
I was a young man.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It's a young man so much ahead of me, but
I'd had enough kids to be honest, I couldn't deal
with anymore surely. And it was actually April was sort
of it was her idea, and I was hesitant because
I do no research whatsoever, and I refused to read anything.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I wish I had known this was the type of
person that you were before I said, yes, you're doing
a podcast with you.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
And the preparation for me for everything is minimal. I
just don't have the bandwidth for it. And I remember
being so against it, mainly because I didn't know. I
was ignorant. I kind of thought it would change me
for some reason, and a lot of and then say
that to me too, They're like, what does it change me? No,
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, I need all the testosterone that I can get,
do you ges, you're pretty diast at the moment you
could lose a bit.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And I sort of brushed it aside, mainly because it
wasn't my idea. And then it was a I think
it was a Saturday night at a friend's house. Who's
here somewhere? There is over there who now has a visect?
Me as well? Your wife thanks me all the time.
And I thought, do you know what to be a
grand gesture? A really good idea is a vasectomy? Anyway,
(10:32):
so I booked this vasectomy online with no research whatsoever. Well,
my dad had a VISEECTI me, it's generational, matt so
and he told me it's like getting a haircut. So
I was like, how hard could it be? And because
it was my idea, I thought it was great. What
did you search to find VASECTI mes near me good
and it popped up first one that'll do? He had
(10:54):
five stars. I thought, how bad it to be? And anyway,
I thought it would be great if I went home
with this grand gesture to tell my wife that I
had a great idea that I should get to a
sex met even though she had the idea months before,
years before, probably, and it was met with I've been
telling you to do that for months, and it backfired
(11:15):
a little bit, and I kind of thought.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
But wait, what time was this, now that you've worken
up life on a Saturday night, it.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Was pretty late April.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I've done it.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I have a really good idea getting a sect me
And he's like and then yeah, she said, I've been
telling you that for ages, and I was like, no,
you haven't. But anyway, I got booked in, went to
the clinic and it's much like an old deli at
a supermarket. You walk in, you grab a ticket, and everyone.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Will at the clinic.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
At the clinic, yeah, sophisticated the ticket. The technology was amazing.
Five stars pulled a ticket, sat down with the rest
of what I referred to as victims, because we were
all sitting there like you know when you go to
an airport and there's those seats and there's always a
seat in the middle of everyone, like, no one wants
to touch knees. It's not that scary, so we're all
(12:06):
like this. No one wanted to talk. All it was
was a conveyor belt of men walking up a hallway
perfectly fine, and then sort of walking back like they've
just ridden a horse, like a slight limp, like we're
all in it together. I wanted to ban this together.
But also, how do you start that conversation? What do
you do?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
What's the eyesbreaker?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
There isn't one. You're just like, what are you here
for a haircut? Anyway, So I get called up and
I go up, and the thing is with a vasectomy
is for a doctor, they tell you it's an irreversible procedure,
mainly because it can be reversed, but there's a chance
that it might not work, which for your mental health
(12:45):
down the track is really important. So you need to
know what to expect, and there's a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
It's a big moment.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
So yeah, I get called up and you go in
and the doctor talks to you about you know what
to expect, and it's irreversible, it's fine, and then they ready,
here you go, and you're awake for the whole procedure.
Brain surgery probably just as complex, they're very similar, so
similar part. Anyway, I found myself just so nervous and
anxious about this procedure that I was just was sweating profusely.
(13:14):
I couldn't stop it. And I found out later than
my dad did the same. It's generational.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
He didn't tell you, no scare me. It was just like,
yourn haircut, You'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, I've had haircuts that have taken longer. And I
remember saying, they said, okay, we're all done. You can
get up, and I was that quick, and I said,
I would love to get up, but I've sweat so
much I'm stuck to the table. So they had to
peel me off the table like an old sticker, just
to get up and off. And then they sit you
(13:44):
back down and they wheel out an iPad in front
of you, and there's another video about what to expect
with recovery, what's going to happen next, what you should
and shouldn't do, And then after that is followed by
the doctor himself pops up on the iPad and asks
for a review. No wonder, he's got five stars. He's like,
make sure you leave five stars.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
How many stars did you give him? Five?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Of course it's too scared.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Of course, I was just.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Scared not to I was still in his office. And
then after that comes up with a refer a friend
and is this he's over there, And I walked out
of that room like a cowboy down the hall. Give
the boys the thumbs up. The rest of the victims,
they're all scared.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Then you walked a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I ended up doing fifteen k's on foot and woke
up the next morning bruised up to my belly button
and they said go home. I don't. I don't like Matthew.
And so the recovery was dreadful. So, Matthew, if you
are going to get a vasectomy, I would say, go
(14:50):
to the pub straight after.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Got it. Got it, thank you. And this is why
we don't give any advice on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Also, it's funny with with something like a vasectomy. We
have couple's dinners and by the time you get to
the end of the couple's dinner, there's like three or
four of us sectomies booked in.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Speaking of surgery at the moment, my my mum has
just had shoulder surgery. I'm not sure if people have
seen on my social media I've been doing her hair.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, does everyone know, Ellie?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah? Oh god, such a good you would love that,
such a good son. Yeah, she is looking after the kids.
Because Laura is away at the moment. But it's concerning
because we are having a kid in just a couple
of weeks. Nana's got her arm and his sling. She's
no longer around for.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
She wasn't very useful before that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
How dare you? How dare you?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Just the truth? She's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
One second you're praising her, then you're knocking her down.
But it's it's a worry because you Laura is really busy.
I've got a lot going on. The podcast is just
so popular.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
It's so much work, so much work.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
It's crazy. Jess. I produces like be nice if you
guys did something, But sorry, Yess. But at the moment,
I'm staring down the barrel of maybe trying to find
another babysitter. And this is something that you guys would
understand because you've never.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Never paid for a baby, never paid for a babysitterup.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Wow, yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
We have my wife's father, Frank Popper, who is any
more maternal, he'd be able to breastfeed.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah. So at the moment, I also got this PTSD
or when I tried to find a babysitter last time,
And I'm if you heard this story strap on in.
We were looking for a babysitter, and we looked at
promoting this job every way possible.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
There was on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I was close to doing a LinkedIn post, but we
were on social media. We had agencies. We were going
far and wide. The net was very big that was cast,
and it was hard to find anyone that was suitable.
It really was. It's not that it's really hard, and
we only had three suitable applicants for this job of
(16:50):
being a babysitterup the first one. The first roadblock was
the fact that I said, you will need to cook
a meal every now and then, and spaghetti. I just no,
nothing fancies, not like you know, it's not lobster, it's
not caveage. It's not like a I said, can you
cook a lobster? I just said a spaghetty bolonnaise. And
she rolled her eyes and I said, this is not
(17:12):
the babysitter for me. Babysitting number two didn't show up
for the interview.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Give her the job.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Babysit at number three. She came in and the moment
she opened the front door, the sun was beaming behind
her and I just had this feeling, this energy entered
the room that I knew I'd found someone quite special.
And straight away she had these coloring in pencils. She
gave it to the kids. She had a treat for buster.
I was like, this is perfect. And she said she'd
(17:39):
been a babysitter her whole life. She loved kids. And
I was like, well, I think we've just found a
new babysitter.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Gratulations, I said, got the job.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
When can you start? She said Monday. I said, perfect,
I see you. Then Laura was out the door really
really early. So on day one she came in and
she was different. That sunlight that was behind her was
no more. Well. She came in and she was just
very meek and she went to Lola, who's my second child,
(18:08):
the youngest. She was three at the time, and she said,
would you like to get ready for daycare? And Lola went, no,
I don't want it. And then she looked at me
and said, that's all I can. I'm ideas. I don't
know what to do. And I thought, you know, it's
day one, she's probably nervous. That's fine, I'll get her ready.
And then when it came time to driving them to daycare,
it's a tricky daycare. It's hard to park. I thought,
(18:29):
I'll hop in.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
The car, your micro manager.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
No, I was, I was just gonna sing.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
First day of work, and it's like, I'll get him
with you. I'd get out. Wow, you've been a passenger
in my car and I want to get out.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I jump in the car with her and we reversed
out the driveway and it was just foot to the floor.
We shot out the back of the driveway. She didn't
look left or right. Luckily there were no cars there.
And she said, I'm so sorry. The accelerator is a
bit sticky. And I said, yeah, it is a bit sticky,
that's fine. And then as we were driving there, we
went through a tea junction. There's a stop sign straight through.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Good. She was got time for that.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Well, I like the efficiency and I said, I'm so sorry,
you've just there's a stop sign back there, and she goes,
I'm so sorry, and she's not. She's from South of
Merdic micro managing.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
It's a servous I get that.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I get that, you know, it's it is nerve wracking
having someone breathe down your neck.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Your boss. He's also the father of the children.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
In the back. Well, I was just wanting to do
the right thing Ash, And I don't know if you're
familiar with a part of the Eastern suburbs, the Bondai
to Bronte Walk.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Never either of those suburbs.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Beautiful part of the world. It's a lovely walk and
Tamil Beach has got this really lovely footpath that a
lot of people walk down and they enjoy the view
of one of the most beautiful beaches in Sydney.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
People in the Eastern suburbs, so you're from Northern beaches.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
But it was a great morning. A lot of people
were out and we were going around this part of
the and she was really hugging the curb and I
was worried about not just the children, but the wheels
of the car. It was a newish car and I
didn't want to scratch the wheels.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
You don't want to bug your manager's car up.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
But I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want
to micromanage.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That's the point you decided to stop micromanaging.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Well, I thought there's a limit to everything, and I said,
I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to let
her learn on her own accord and as we were
going around a corner seconds away from what it felt
like was scraping the wheel. Someone in front of us
was very busy morning was running when to overtake someone
by stepping onto the road as we were approaching, and
I thought to myself, if she doesn't slow down, she's
(20:41):
going to hit this person. And I didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything. I think I thought she was
in control. Next thing, this guy hits the bonnet of
the car.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
He flies up. The kids are looking at him. He's
looking at the kids.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
He's got a sun roof too.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
He lands behind us. She puts the brakes on, and
then everyone as well walking. They stop as well, witnesses.
The witnesses Jesus. I was almost gonna say just keep driving,
but I didn't. I'm not that kind of person that
(21:26):
would be illegal. So I hop out. I look at
this guy. He's laying on the road, and I don't
say anything, and I'm like, I don't know how to
approach situation. What do you do? Thankfully, he gets up,
he dusts himself off, and he says, I'm sorry, what
did you say? And I said that's okay. He then
(21:47):
got up and he ran off.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
She took off what was probably the heart rate guy.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I hop back in the hop back in the car.
She's crying. I said, I'll drive. It's fine. And I
didn't have the heart to fire her on day one
because I'm a nice guy, so I kept it for
a week until she admitted that she'd never been a
babysitter in her life, and she quit on me.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I know she hit you with a car.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
So that's what I'm staring down the barrel of right now.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Well, we wish you all the luck with the baby.
If anyone has a baby they want to recommend for Matt,
please it would really help us all out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Anyone here. We do a segment called pair rants.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
It is one of our favorite segments on the podcast.
I named it because it's so clever. It had to
be me.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
We don't have the intro song.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
We're not allowed to play the interest song.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
We will sing it. Sing it right now, But a
pair rant is essentially it's a safe place where parents
can just vent about all the terrible parts of parenting.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
It's amazing because there's so many terrible parts.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
We all love our kids. We do love our kids, absolutely,
no question about it. Conditional love.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
But God keep saying things like that. God, it makes
it sound worse.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Is there anyone here is not a parent?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Gosh, it must be nice.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Do you want a couple of kids?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
But we ask people to submit their pair rants, and
we've got a couple here that we've Yes, we do.
I did say they'd be anonymous, but let's read the
names there.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, you gotta get names of shamed here. Okay, I'm
gonna go first here. And I love it when someone
sends one in that they're midway through the argument with
themselves already, and they're like, this is from Libby, and
she says, try working at a daycare in the baby's room,
navigating everyone's new routines because of daylight savings.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I think that was off the back of us slagging
off daycare or early educated. Sorry, so.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
This one is from Taylor. She says, is anyone else
in a narcissistic relationship with the almost four year old?
We could be having the most loving moment and then
he'll hurl abuse at me for saying no to a
third biscuit before dinner because somehow I'm the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
You are in their mind you're always the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
This morning, I took Lola riding a bike at the
park for hours. We were then we got We've got
Baby Chino's. We got home and she said, can I
watch TV? I said, not just yet.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
She goes, I hate you, dad, that's fair you show. Actually,
Matt showed me a video of her riding a bike
this morning, and she can't ride and talk at the
same time, so she will talk, ride talk.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's exhausting. Its exhausting.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
A long day for you, my friend. This one's from Brody.
My kids are treating my car like a rubbish bin.
No matter how many times I say, my car.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Is not a rubbish bin.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
According to children, everywhere is a rubbish Everything is a
rubbish bin.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Everywhere I know.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I catch oscar all the time stepping over an old
yogurt that's on the carpet, and I'm like, wait, pick
it up, like you get it?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
What is wrong with you? But again, love our kids.
They are beautiful, the reason we're here. Cherish every moment.
This is from Melanie. When you order something off the
kids menu at a restaurant and it comes to the table,
it's placed in front of the child and it is
hotter than lava. You then have to sit there for
the next half an hour with them throwing a tantrill
because I don't understand why they can't eat their food
(25:16):
to restaurants do better.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Excuse me. It's funny because when they put a hot
plate in front of an adult like that, don't touch
the plate, and we touch it. What do you think
of toddler's gonna do? And then they cry.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
It's a whole scene when you get baby Gino's just make.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
All their food lukewarm, lukewarm.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
They don't get it.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
They should. They should pre prepare the kids meals before
their shifts start and then they'll be ready.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Just serve its stone cold. Who are we kidding?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
They leave it till it's stone cold anyway.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
But should we do lies?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
We should do some lies. That's an old segment. We
bring it back here and there. It's got a great
song too. We sung that one as well.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
I really wish we could see it.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
We don't have a lot of money for the production,
but we won't.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
We won't. A lot of people talk to me and
say I will never lie to my children.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
That's garbage, idiots. Yeah, we don't mean like big lies,
like things that are going to impact them that much.
We're talking about things like the parks closed. Yeah it's not,
but they.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Just simple, harmless, victimless white lies. Every now and then
we get to lie like the fire alarms are actually
Santa Claus watching you, or yeah, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Oh, this ice cream is spicy.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
That's like a little bit Boiderlin. But most of the time,
it's just about trying to make sure that our kids.
We mitigate a meltdown, a tantrum, we try and get
them to behave And what we do is we share
these lies with our audience because we're all about helping
each other build up an arsenal of parenting tips. Yeah
I know.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I was like, I went in with a few lies
for this podcast, and now I've got a book full
of them. Oh yeah, And I love the variations from
like the food spicy to like it, oh it's boiling hot,
like anything like that, any variation to throw a kid off.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I'm all about, I believe anything. This is from Juanna.
I'll go the first one here. She says, whenever I'm
eating something and I don't want to share, I tell
my kids that it's medicine. Unfortunately, these are medicine donuts,
and the doctor made the medicine in the doughnuts just
so wul taste it not as bad.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Genius. I love that the only problem is April and
I told our kids that the medicine's lolly water, so
it's sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place. There.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Give us some of that medicine water again.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
They're like, I'm sick. That's a good one. See, food
variations are great. I love that this is from Daisy.
This is good. Uh, put your kids show on in
Mandarin and convince them they don't understand the words because
they're too tired. Oscar. The other day, my eldest, he's six,
he put his favorite show on and he accidentally put
(27:53):
it on Mandarin and he was like, what the hell
is going on? Can you understand them? And I was like,
it must be died.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
This one is from Amy and she says, we put
his clock forward an hour so he thinks it's later.
He spent the last twelve months thinking he was going
to sleep at eight thirty, but really it was just
seven thirty.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
The time between them getting back from any daycare or
any supervision between then and when they go to bed,
time stops still. It's like you know when you drive
on the freeway and there's the servos. Yeah, the time
just doesn't exist. Yeah, it's the same thing. So putting
it forward and then also you sort of combating daylight
savings there genius ever changed the clocks? We use a
(28:41):
bottle of moisturizer as magical cream. Where am I for
every bump and scratch? Saving is tons on band aids?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Genius at the moment because Lola, any little bump, regardless
of whether there's any mark, there's blood, there's anything, She's like, yep,
another one. And she only wants to have a band
aid for one day. So after a day she rips
them off and goes, yep, bring another.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Band She's making the day with it.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I'm chaining through band aids right now.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
The stock's going up.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Oh my god, write these down all.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I don't see anyone writing these days. They're all up here.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
This last one it is from Sam and she says
the rides at the shopping center only work when it's
your birthday. So if there are kids writing them, obviously
it's their birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
I love seeing a parent put their kid on her
and pay for it, and there's two extra seats and
they just see me running with my two kids. Quick
hold on, yeah, but I pay it back. I pay
for it, I tap it when and then let other
kids get on. I just send their parents an invoice.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
You're part of the problem. Just collectively agree that those
rides will never get paid for.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
And the thing is they put a tap on it now. Okay,
they put a tap on it now, So it's like,
oh sorry, but I don't have any money. It's like
give us your phone, give you give us.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
If you would like to submit a parenting lie or
a pair rount, you can of course do that at Hello,
at two doting dance dot com, dot.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Are you you can, or in our socials you can
dm us. That'd be great. We love them, we keep them,
we collect them, and any variation of a lie is great.
So we love it.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
But also, if you enjoyed this episode, we would love
it because we are actually going to package this up,
put it on Apple podcasts.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
You're all going to be not on it. How does
that feel?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
What are the stars? But if you've enjoyed it, we
would love a reviewer. I think we're at seven hundred
and fifty one. Who's counting. I'd love to get to
a thousands. So if there's anyone here who hasn't reviewed,
I would love it if you would.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
April, have you reviewed a good Angie?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Have you reviewed Oh My get Out? You've come to
our live show before you've done a review.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Were you basing your review off this live show? One
love it.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
It's a fuel that keeps us going, it is, for sure.
But to anyone here who has been following us for
a while, we want to say thank you so much
for coming to our first live show. We do record
it on the dining room table, and it's just this
is weird, and it's weird having people here. Ash I'm thinking,
(31:23):
I'm thinking, this idea is just popped in my head.
Should we do more than just the one off live show?
Is this going to be okay? At Little Mini Tour?
Is that TBC okay? So I'm going to carry it away.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I think I did say buzzing off the live show.
Someone asked us that question live and I was like,
you know what I'm pulling rank here? Yes, you look
at me like.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Let's do it. Don't listen to him, guys, So we
hope you enjoyed this episode. A huge thanks to Apple
for having us once again, and we would love it
if you guys would give us a review on Apple
Podcasts of course, just a couple of comments, a couple
of stars. We got one actually from the live show.
Oh beautiful.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
What did it say?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
If you want to know what it says, go read
it and then leave a comment.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Oh well, I'll go and do it right now, and
we'll see you guys next week. See you, bye bye.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
Ash, Yes, what buddy, what's that?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Big?
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Guess what I've got not just for you, but for
the listeners as well, A very big, super special, juicy
surprise dropping in your ears right now, right the second
to get ready for it? Sit down?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
What could it possibly be? Matthew?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's a bonus episode? Oh whoa would you would think
they would figure that out because they're listening right now.
But what did we do? Well? Ash? We recorded a
very first ever live show at the Apple Store in
Sydney on George Street. And if you weren't there, shame
on you. How dare you?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We'll see you next time hopefully.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But for those of you who are outside of Sydney,
the good news is we've packaged it up as a beautiful, sexy,
delicious bonus episode.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I love the way you said that, Madam was a
fun that little ride in the Apple Store, such a
nice building, especially at night.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
You know what My favorite part of the show was
when we're walking off and you said, my phone has
never been so charged.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I loved this. I love I love doing the event
here at the Apple Store because my phone's never been
so charged.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
And it's a shame that won't make it onto the
bonus episode, I was like, I've got to put it
in there.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Somehow. It was a great lit nugget for me. Actually,
I chuckled my way out the door. I loved it.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
So please enjoy our today at Apple event. Welcome back
to Two Dating Dads. I am Maddie Jay, and this
is a podcast about her and it is good.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
It is the bad and the relatable.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
And we don't give advice, but what we do do.
Did you see as you shouldn't say to.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
A parent, Oh gosh, you got your hands full.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I don't know what's wrong with your kid, but my
kids sleeps through the whole night.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
When you're pregnant, you announced the sex of your child
and they respond, will you try for a boy next time?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I'm still pregnant. Much to say, April and teen is
great to have you here, ashes out of half. Laura's
not here. I had to make her not come otherwise
She's steal the limelight.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
As she always does, and she's pregnant. Everyone be looking
at her belly right outside. I know she loves it too.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I do have to start this podcast and say, welcome
back to two Dotting Dads. I am Maddie Jay and
I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It
is the good, it is.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
The bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
And this will come as a surprise to no one,
But today we will not give any type of advice.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Absolutely not, no way, No, wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Dare is Angie here? Where's Angie? Angie? Thank you? I
just want to say thank you for your support. I
saw you doing stories before and I was like, and
you you reshuffled? I was saying to Ash, I was.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Like, did you I love that?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Well? And I'll also say, Elizabeth, I was an interpreter.
Who has to say everything that I say? I'm sorry,
does anyone know the story of how Ash and I met? Anyone? Well,
you're in for a treat.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
We get this question a lot. How did this all start?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
So it will those two thousand and twenty two?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Whoa that went fast?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I know you started following me on social media?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Incorrect? Immediately incorrect.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
I've actually got who do you think message? Who first?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
You definitely messaged will you followed me first? Because April
made me follow you back?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Okay, first message here was from Ashwick's on the thirtieth
of September. Look, do you know what you said? No?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
You said it.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
No, you said, I wonder if I could sell my
townhouse that I'm currently renting.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I was renting it. Weird opening line, must have a couple.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
And then and then I got married not long after that,
and you were saying, you.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Know it is the invite on that one.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Well you just came in too late.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, I would have been best man, though surely.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I was thinking. I was thinking of Laura. I was like,
should I should I invite him?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I wouldn't have come, but you should have.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
But I didn't invite you to the wedding. I invited
you to a Christmas party that I got invited to us.
I could bring it.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Get some say Christmas party is just as good as
a wedding.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
It's on parth.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Why I say that?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
And then you said I'd love to come. Let's wear
matching shirts.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
We did so I organized matching shirts because I'm lame
like that.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And I was like, this guy's this guy's coming on strong.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It was a bit march.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I was like, can I pull out? Should we do this?
But we decided on a bar. We did Yep, we
would meet for a few drinks. I was late, as
per usual, and it was it was kind of like
a first date. I was a little bit nervous.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
More like a job interview. That's what I felt like.
I felt like you were interviewing me.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
And then the poor bartender must have been like, what
are these two guys doing? Because we were so.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Like matching shirts. I thought we looked good.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
We look great.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
But I've looked at photos back and I was like,
that's probably not a good move.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
No, it wasn't. But then things were progressing nicely. We
did a couple of videos together and yeah, we did
one video in Centennial Park which went gangbusters.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, it was more dramatic than I thought it was
going to be. And the person who edited is actually here,
so thank you for that. He said, what about this version?
And it was like the sound.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Of music, and I thought there's something here. But still
I wasn't quite sure where I wanted the relationship to go.
I wasn't ready to commit to anything serious at the time,
but I knew there was really strong chemistry. And then
you came out, sat me down, and propositioned me.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I did that sounds terrible, but yes I did. I
asked you about starting a podcast, and I was pretty naive.
I've never done one. Matt has done a few podcasts,
some of them most of them had failed. And I
asked him a few times and he said no because
he knew how much work goes into this. I mean,
you guys get to listen to it, which is great,
(05:48):
but we worked tirelessly sometimes.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
And I said, what do you know about podcasting? And
you were like nothing, nothing, no, And I was like,
I just I don't have the time right now. We've
just had our second baby. I'm flattered, but.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Three years before that was it.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I said no.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
He did say no a few times. I was persistent,
and then I gaslighted him into saying that I had
another dad. And I just said, it's all good. I'm fine.
I've got someone else that's willing to do this podcast.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And I said who is it?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
And I wouldn't tell him because there was no one.
I made it up. I left it a week. I
let him stew. I knew what I was doing. I'm
an ex car salesman, as most of you know. I'm
pretty slimy like that.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
He played me like a fiddle.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Oh, I enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I've got another buyer interested in.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Literally, I was like, they're coming this afternoon to test
drive it.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
You better be quick now, and I was like, Laura,
what should I do? I might lose him. It was
like bring him over and do a test recall.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Yeah, I left it a week and then I gave
you one more opportunity before I gave the fake dad
the actual gig. And yeah, we Laura, obviously with her
podcast career, had the equipment at home and we picked
it up and gave it a go. I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
And then I was listening back after the record. I
think I thought it went well, and I was on
the couch. I was playing it from a laptop. It
was Apple of course and real subtle.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
How do you do Apple interpreter?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
App?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Obviously that was so silly. I apologize about that.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
And Laura said, I think there's something here and I said, well,
let's just give it a shot. I'm not sure how
long it'll last, but we're coming.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Up to one hundred and sixty nine episodes. Let's look
at that producer make sure that's correct. Yep, as she is.
Thank you, I know, and we we didn't know what
to expect. I mean, the first podcast we actually did.
We filmed it at your place on the dining room table,
and I remember vividly washing on the table. There were kids,
(07:56):
cutlery and plates and all sorts of thing everywhere. And
we posted it online and someone was like, that looks
like my house, and I felt like at that point
we had something. That's when I felt like we had something.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I don't know about you, but the approach to the
podcast sounds really dumb and simple, but that really is
who we are.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
True Well said it was a T shirt.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I feel like we need to be more sophisticated in
this environment. We spent so long slaving over the strategy.
It was just a disaster that we had each week.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Yeah, exactly right. It was the week that was. But
then we sort of branched out into other topics, such
as vasectomies, which is a classic on my part.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I guess you were the you were the I'm dealing
with the pressure you are, Yeah, of the visectomy chat
at the moment, I'm about to have my third child
in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yes, congratulations, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
You're not having it.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You've done none of the work, No, the initial work.
I'm assuming anyway, Well, we don't know. I'll talk to
Laura later and see who did all the week. Anyway,
there was a time where I didn't have a sex toy,
and now it's most of my personality. If anyone who
knows me and my wife over here, April, I'm not
alouder for a first anymore, because you've done to the
(09:13):
matter need me anyway, I was shocked.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I was shocked at you're thirty one. At the time,
I was a young man.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It's a young man so much ahead of me, but
I'd had enough kids to be honest, I couldn't deal
with anymore surely. And it was actually April was sort
of it was her idea, and I was hesitant because
I do no research whatsoever, and I refused to read anything.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I wish I had known this was the type of
person that you were before I said, yes, you're doing
a podcast with you.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
And the preparation for me for everything is minimal. I
just don't have the bandwidth for it. And I remember
being so against it, mainly because I didn't know. I
was ignorant. I kind of thought it would change me
for some reason, and a lot of and then say
that to me too, They're like, what does it change me? No,
it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Well, I need all the testosterone that I can get,
do you ges, you're pretty diast at the moment you
could lose a bit.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
And I sort of brushed it aside, mainly because it
wasn't my idea. And then it was a I think
it was a Saturday night at a friend's house. Who's
here somewhere? There is over there who now has a visect?
Me as well? Your wife thanks me all the time.
And I thought, do you know what to be a
grand gesture? A really good idea is a vasectomy? Anyway,
(10:32):
so I booked this vasectomy online with no research whatsoever. Well,
my dad had a VISEECTI me, it's generational, matt so
and he told me it's like getting a haircut. So
I was like, how hard could it be? And because
it was my idea, I thought it was great. What
did you search to find VASECTI mes near me good
and it popped up first one that'll do? He had
(10:54):
five stars. I thought, how bad it to be? And anyway,
I thought it would be great if I went home
with this grand gesture to tell my wife that I
had a great idea that I should get to a
sex met even though she had the idea months before,
years before, probably, and it was met with I've been
telling you to do that for months, and it backfired
(11:15):
a little bit, and I kind of thought.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
But wait, what time was this, now that you've worken
up life on a Saturday night, it.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Was pretty late April.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
I've done it.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I have a really good idea getting a sect me
And he's like and then yeah, she said, I've been
telling you that for ages, and I was like, no,
you haven't. But anyway, I got booked in, went to
the clinic and it's much like an old deli at
a supermarket. You walk in, you grab a ticket, and everyone.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Will at the clinic.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
At the clinic, yeah, sophisticated the ticket. The technology was amazing.
Five stars pulled a ticket, sat down with the rest
of what I referred to as victims, because we were
all sitting there like you know when you go to
an airport and there's those seats and there's always a
seat in the middle of everyone, like, no one wants
to touch knees. It's not that scary, so we're all
(12:06):
like this. No one wanted to talk. All it was
was a conveyor belt of men walking up a hallway
perfectly fine, and then sort of walking back like they've
just ridden a horse, like a slight limp, like we're
all in it together. I wanted to ban this together.
But also, how do you start that conversation? What do
you do?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
What's the eyesbreaker?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
There isn't one. You're just like, what are you here
for a haircut? Anyway, So I get called up and
I go up, and the thing is with a vasectomy
is for a doctor, they tell you it's an irreversible procedure,
mainly because it can be reversed, but there's a chance
that it might not work, which for your mental health
(12:45):
down the track is really important. So you need to
know what to expect, and there's a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
It's a big moment.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
So yeah, I get called up and you go in
and the doctor talks to you about you know what
to expect, and it's irreversible, it's fine, and then they ready,
here you go, and you're awake for the whole procedure.
Brain surgery probably just as complex, they're very similar, so
similar part. Anyway, I found myself just so nervous and
anxious about this procedure that I was just was sweating profusely.
(13:14):
I couldn't stop it. And I found out later than
my dad did the same. It's generational.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
He didn't tell you, no scare me. It was just like,
yourn haircut, You'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, I've had haircuts that have taken longer. And I
remember saying, they said, okay, we're all done. You can
get up, and I was that quick, and I said,
I would love to get up, but I've sweat so
much I'm stuck to the table. So they had to
peel me off the table like an old sticker, just
to get up and off. And then they sit you
(13:44):
back down and they wheel out an iPad in front
of you, and there's another video about what to expect
with recovery, what's going to happen next, what you should
and shouldn't do, And then after that is followed by
the doctor himself pops up on the iPad and asks
for a review. No wonder, he's got five stars. He's like,
make sure you leave five stars.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
How many stars did you give him? Five?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Of course it's too scared.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Of course, I was just.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Scared not to I was still in his office. And
then after that comes up with a refer a friend
and is this he's over there, And I walked out
of that room like a cowboy down the hall. Give
the boys the thumbs up. The rest of the victims,
they're all scared.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Then you walked a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I ended up doing fifteen k's on foot and woke
up the next morning bruised up to my belly button
and they said go home. I don't. I don't like Matthew.
And so the recovery was dreadful. So, Matthew, if you
are going to get a vasectomy, I would say, go
(14:50):
to the pub straight after.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Got it. Got it, thank you. And this is why
we don't give any advice on the podcast.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Also, it's funny with with something like a vasectomy. We
have couple's dinners and by the time you get to
the end of the couple's dinner, there's like three or
four of us sectomies booked in.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Speaking of surgery at the moment, my my mum has
just had shoulder surgery. I'm not sure if people have
seen on my social media I've been doing her hair.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, does everyone know, Ellie?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah? Oh god, such a good you would love that,
such a good son. Yeah, she is looking after the kids.
Because Laura is away at the moment. But it's concerning
because we are having a kid in just a couple
of weeks. Nana's got her arm and his sling. She's
no longer around for.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
She wasn't very useful before that.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
How dare you? How dare you?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Just the truth? She's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
One second you're praising her, then you're knocking her down.
But it's it's a worry because you Laura is really busy.
I've got a lot going on. The podcast is just
so popular.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
It's so much work, so much work.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
It's crazy. Jess. I produces like be nice if you
guys did something, But sorry, Yess. But at the moment,
I'm staring down the barrel of maybe trying to find
another babysitter. And this is something that you guys would
understand because you've never.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Never paid for a baby, never paid for a babysitterup.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Wow, yeah wow.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
We have my wife's father, Frank Popper, who is any
more maternal, he'd be able to breastfeed.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah. So at the moment, I also got this PTSD
or when I tried to find a babysitter last time,
And I'm if you heard this story strap on in.
We were looking for a babysitter, and we looked at
promoting this job every way possible.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
There was on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I was close to doing a LinkedIn post, but we
were on social media. We had agencies. We were going
far and wide. The net was very big that was cast,
and it was hard to find anyone that was suitable.
It really was. It's not that it's really hard, and
we only had three suitable applicants for this job of
(16:50):
being a babysitterup the first one. The first roadblock was
the fact that I said, you will need to cook
a meal every now and then, and spaghetti. I just no,
nothing fancies, not like you know, it's not lobster, it's
not caveage. It's not like a I said, can you
cook a lobster? I just said a spaghetty bolonnaise. And
she rolled her eyes and I said, this is not
(17:12):
the babysitter for me. Babysitting number two didn't show up
for the interview.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Give her the job.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Babysit at number three. She came in and the moment
she opened the front door, the sun was beaming behind
her and I just had this feeling, this energy entered
the room that I knew I'd found someone quite special.
And straight away she had these coloring in pencils. She
gave it to the kids. She had a treat for buster.
I was like, this is perfect. And she said she'd
(17:39):
been a babysitter her whole life. She loved kids. And
I was like, well, I think we've just found a
new babysitter.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Gratulations, I said, got the job.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
When can you start? She said Monday. I said, perfect,
I see you. Then Laura was out the door really
really early. So on day one she came in and
she was different. That sunlight that was behind her was
no more. Well. She came in and she was just
very meek and she went to Lola, who's my second child,
(18:08):
the youngest. She was three at the time, and she said,
would you like to get ready for daycare? And Lola went, no,
I don't want it. And then she looked at me
and said, that's all I can. I'm ideas. I don't
know what to do. And I thought, you know, it's
day one, she's probably nervous. That's fine, I'll get her ready.
And then when it came time to driving them to daycare,
it's a tricky daycare. It's hard to park. I thought,
(18:29):
I'll hop in.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
The car, your micro manager.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
No, I was, I was just gonna sing.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
First day of work, and it's like, I'll get him
with you. I'd get out. Wow, you've been a passenger
in my car and I want to get out.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
I jump in the car with her and we reversed
out the driveway and it was just foot to the floor.
We shot out the back of the driveway. She didn't
look left or right. Luckily there were no cars there.
And she said, I'm so sorry. The accelerator is a
bit sticky. And I said, yeah, it is a bit sticky,
that's fine. And then as we were driving there, we
went through a tea junction. There's a stop sign straight through.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Good. She was got time for that.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Well, I like the efficiency and I said, I'm so sorry,
you've just there's a stop sign back there, and she goes,
I'm so sorry, and she's not. She's from South of
Merdic micro managing.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
It's a servous I get that.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I get that, you know, it's it is nerve wracking
having someone breathe down your neck.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Your boss. He's also the father of the children.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
In the back. Well, I was just wanting to do
the right thing Ash, And I don't know if you're
familiar with a part of the Eastern suburbs, the Bondai
to Bronte Walk.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Never either of those suburbs.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Beautiful part of the world. It's a lovely walk and
Tamil Beach has got this really lovely footpath that a
lot of people walk down and they enjoy the view
of one of the most beautiful beaches in Sydney.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
People in the Eastern suburbs, so you're from Northern beaches.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
But it was a great morning. A lot of people
were out and we were going around this part of
the and she was really hugging the curb and I
was worried about not just the children, but the wheels
of the car. It was a newish car and I
didn't want to scratch the wheels.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
You don't want to bug your manager's car up.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
But I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want
to micromanage.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
That's the point you decided to stop micromanaging.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Well, I thought there's a limit to everything, and I said,
I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to let
her learn on her own accord and as we were
going around a corner seconds away from what it felt
like was scraping the wheel. Someone in front of us
was very busy morning was running when to overtake someone
by stepping onto the road as we were approaching, and
I thought to myself, if she doesn't slow down, she's
(20:41):
going to hit this person. And I didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything. I think I thought she was
in control. Next thing, this guy hits the bonnet of
the car.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I know.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
He flies up. The kids are looking at him. He's
looking at the kids.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
He's got a sun roof too.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
He lands behind us. She puts the brakes on, and
then everyone as well walking. They stop as well, witnesses.
The witnesses Jesus. I was almost gonna say just keep driving,
but I didn't. I'm not that kind of person that
(21:26):
would be illegal. So I hop out. I look at
this guy. He's laying on the road, and I don't
say anything, and I'm like, I don't know how to
approach situation. What do you do? Thankfully, he gets up,
he dusts himself off, and he says, I'm sorry, what
did you say? And I said that's okay. He then
(21:47):
got up and he ran off.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
She took off what was probably the heart rate guy.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
I hop back in the hop back in the car.
She's crying. I said, I'll drive. It's fine. And I
didn't have the heart to fire her on day one
because I'm a nice guy, so I kept it for
a week until she admitted that she'd never been a
babysitter in her life, and she quit on me.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I know she hit you with a car.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
So that's what I'm staring down the barrel of right now.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Well, we wish you all the luck with the baby.
If anyone has a baby they want to recommend for Matt,
please it would really help us all out.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Anyone here. We do a segment called pair rants.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
It is one of our favorite segments on the podcast.
I named it because it's so clever. It had to
be me.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
We don't have the intro song.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
We're not allowed to play the interest song.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
We will sing it. Sing it right now, But a
pair rant is essentially it's a safe place where parents
can just vent about all the terrible parts of parenting.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
It's amazing because there's so many terrible parts.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
We all love our kids. We do love our kids, absolutely,
no question about it. Conditional love.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
But God keep saying things like that. God, it makes
it sound worse.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Is there anyone here is not a parent?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Gosh, it must be nice.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Do you want a couple of kids?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
But we ask people to submit their pair rants, and
we've got a couple here that we've Yes, we do.
I did say they'd be anonymous, but let's read the
names there.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, you gotta get names of shamed here. Okay, I'm
gonna go first here. And I love it when someone
sends one in that they're midway through the argument with
themselves already, and they're like, this is from Libby, and
she says, try working at a daycare in the baby's room,
navigating everyone's new routines because of daylight savings.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
I think that was off the back of us slagging
off daycare or early educated. Sorry, so.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
This one is from Taylor. She says, is anyone else
in a narcissistic relationship with the almost four year old?
We could be having the most loving moment and then
he'll hurl abuse at me for saying no to a
third biscuit before dinner because somehow I'm the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
You are in their mind you're always the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
This morning, I took Lola riding a bike at the
park for hours. We were then we got We've got
Baby Chino's. We got home and she said, can I
watch TV? I said, not just yet.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
She goes, I hate you, dad, that's fair you show. Actually,
Matt showed me a video of her riding a bike
this morning, and she can't ride and talk at the
same time, so she will talk, ride talk.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
It's exhausting. Its exhausting.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
A long day for you, my friend. This one's from Brody.
My kids are treating my car like a rubbish bin.
No matter how many times I say, my car.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Is not a rubbish bin.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
According to children, everywhere is a rubbish Everything is a
rubbish bin.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Everywhere I know.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I catch oscar all the time stepping over an old
yogurt that's on the carpet, and I'm like, wait, pick
it up, like you get it?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
What is wrong with you? But again, love our kids.
They are beautiful, the reason we're here. Cherish every moment.
This is from Melanie. When you order something off the
kids menu at a restaurant and it comes to the table,
it's placed in front of the child and it is
hotter than lava. You then have to sit there for
the next half an hour with them throwing a tantrill
because I don't understand why they can't eat their food
(25:16):
to restaurants do better.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Excuse me. It's funny because when they put a hot
plate in front of an adult like that, don't touch
the plate, and we touch it. What do you think
of toddler's gonna do? And then they cry.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
It's a whole scene when you get baby Gino's just make.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
All their food lukewarm, lukewarm.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
They don't get it.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
They should. They should pre prepare the kids meals before
their shifts start and then they'll be ready.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Just serve its stone cold. Who are we kidding?
Speaker 2 (25:45):
They leave it till it's stone cold anyway.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
But should we do lies?
Speaker 2 (25:49):
We should do some lies. That's an old segment. We
bring it back here and there. It's got a great
song too. We sung that one as well.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
I really wish we could see it.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
We don't have a lot of money for the production,
but we won't.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
We won't. A lot of people talk to me and
say I will never lie to my children.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
That's garbage, idiots. Yeah, we don't mean like big lies,
like things that are going to impact them that much.
We're talking about things like the parks closed. Yeah it's not,
but they.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Just simple, harmless, victimless white lies. Every now and then
we get to lie like the fire alarms are actually
Santa Claus watching you, or yeah, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Oh, this ice cream is spicy.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
That's like a little bit Boiderlin. But most of the time,
it's just about trying to make sure that our kids.
We mitigate a meltdown, a tantrum, we try and get
them to behave And what we do is we share
these lies with our audience because we're all about helping
each other build up an arsenal of parenting tips. Yeah
I know.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I was like, I went in with a few lies
for this podcast, and now I've got a book full
of them. Oh yeah, And I love the variations from
like the food spicy to like it, oh it's boiling hot,
like anything like that, any variation to throw a kid off.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I'm all about, I believe anything. This is from Juanna.
I'll go the first one here. She says, whenever I'm
eating something and I don't want to share, I tell
my kids that it's medicine. Unfortunately, these are medicine donuts,
and the doctor made the medicine in the doughnuts just
so wul taste it not as bad.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Genius. I love that the only problem is April and
I told our kids that the medicine's lolly water, so
it's sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place. There.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Give us some of that medicine water again.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
They're like, I'm sick. That's a good one. See, food
variations are great. I love that this is from Daisy.
This is good. Uh, put your kids show on in
Mandarin and convince them they don't understand the words because
they're too tired. Oscar. The other day, my eldest, he's six,
he put his favorite show on and he accidentally put
(27:53):
it on Mandarin and he was like, what the hell
is going on? Can you understand them? And I was like,
it must be died.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
This one is from Amy and she says, we put
his clock forward an hour so he thinks it's later.
He spent the last twelve months thinking he was going
to sleep at eight thirty, but really it was just
seven thirty.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
The time between them getting back from any daycare or
any supervision between then and when they go to bed,
time stops still. It's like you know when you drive
on the freeway and there's the servos. Yeah, the time
just doesn't exist. Yeah, it's the same thing. So putting
it forward and then also you sort of combating daylight
savings there genius ever changed the clocks? We use a
(28:41):
bottle of moisturizer as magical cream. Where am I for
every bump and scratch? Saving is tons on band aids?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Genius at the moment because Lola, any little bump, regardless
of whether there's any mark, there's blood, there's anything, She's like, yep,
another one. And she only wants to have a band
aid for one day. So after a day she rips
them off and goes, yep, bring another.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Band She's making the day with it.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
I'm chaining through band aids right now.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
The stock's going up.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Oh my god, write these down all.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
I don't see anyone writing these days. They're all up here.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
This last one it is from Sam and she says
the rides at the shopping center only work when it's
your birthday. So if there are kids writing them, obviously
it's their birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
I love seeing a parent put their kid on her
and pay for it, and there's two extra seats and
they just see me running with my two kids. Quick
hold on, yeah, but I pay it back. I pay
for it, I tap it when and then let other
kids get on. I just send their parents an invoice.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
You're part of the problem. Just collectively agree that those
rides will never get paid for.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
And the thing is they put a tap on it now. Okay,
they put a tap on it now, So it's like,
oh sorry, but I don't have any money. It's like
give us your phone, give you give us.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
If you would like to submit a parenting lie or
a pair rount, you can of course do that at Hello,
at two doting dance dot com, dot.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Are you you can, or in our socials you can
dm us. That'd be great. We love them, we keep them,
we collect them, and any variation of a lie is great.
So we love it.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
But also, if you enjoyed this episode, we would love
it because we are actually going to package this up,
put it on Apple podcasts.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
You're all going to be not on it. How does
that feel?
Speaker 1 (30:32):
What are the stars? But if you've enjoyed it, we
would love a reviewer. I think we're at seven hundred
and fifty one. Who's counting. I'd love to get to
a thousands. So if there's anyone here who hasn't reviewed,
I would love it if you would.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
April, have you reviewed a good Angie?
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Have you reviewed Oh My get Out? You've come to
our live show before you've done a review.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Were you basing your review off this live show? One
love it.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
It's a fuel that keeps us going, it is, for sure.
But to anyone here who has been following us for
a while, we want to say thank you so much
for coming to our first live show. We do record
it on the dining room table, and it's just this
is weird, and it's weird having people here. Ash I'm thinking,
(31:23):
I'm thinking, this idea is just popped in my head.
Should we do more than just the one off live show?
Is this going to be okay? At Little Mini Tour?
Is that TBC okay? So I'm going to carry it away.
I'm excited.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I think I did say buzzing off the live show.
Someone asked us that question live and I was like,
you know what I'm pulling rank here? Yes, you look
at me like.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Let's do it. Don't listen to him, guys, So we
hope you enjoyed this episode. A huge thanks to Apple
for having us once again, and we would love it
if you guys would give us a review on Apple
Podcasts of course, just a couple of comments, a couple
of stars. We got one actually from the live show.
Oh beautiful.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
What did it say?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
If you want to know what it says, go read
it and then leave a comment.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Oh well, I'll go and do it right now, and
we'll see you guys next week. See you, bye bye.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
We pay our respects to their elders past and present
and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
peoples today
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