July 27, 2025 • 25 mins
Ever tried to get freaky… while your dog refuses to leave the room? In this completely unhinged chat, host Phoebe Parsons teams up with Viv Conway from Girls Get Off to tackle the question no one talks about but everyone has: what the hell do you do with your pet when you’re having sex? From cats making eye contact to dogs jumping on the bed at the worst possible moment, this episode is packed with real (and hilarious) stories from listeners who’ve been there. Warning: you may never look at your fur baby the same way again.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
A pod Jake Production. Welcome to Unhinged.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
This is a podcast about the unfiltered, unhinged, and uncomfortably
relatable shit that you only talk about in your closest
group chats.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm Phoebe viv Conway.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I have something I need to confess to you that
I actually can't believe I'm confessing on a very public platform,
but I feel like this is an issue that is
definitely something that a lot of people deal with, but
maybe it's just that no one's talking about it.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Well. When you messaged through this topic, I immediately remember
the time a friend sid to me, what on earth
do people do with their dogs when we have six?
My new puppy is ruining my six life. And when
I put it to the people on Instagram stories to
hear about what they've been through, what they've experienced, and
like if they've got any hot tips.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
You will not believe what I got back from people.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm so glad because I need like other people's opinions
on this because I have known since I got my dog.
My partner and I have had our dog for coming
up to three years now, and I am the first
to admit that she is such a cock block. Firstly
because we are co sleeping parents, so our dog sleeps
in our bed with us number one, So we had
a very regular, very healthy, very active sex life before
(01:29):
she came along, and then she's been in the bed
with us ever since. Was maybe is our like real
parents to human babies feel when they say that everything
becomes so much less spontaneous, And it's like sometimes we're like,
is it because we're in like a super long term
relationship or is it because our dog is co sleeping
with us? And I'm like, it's one hundred percent because
our dog is co sleeping with us, And it's not
(01:49):
like your.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Dog's very big eat it like sleeping kilos.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yes, I think one of my boobs is bigger than her.
But the other day, so like normally I am not
comfortable with doing it in front of her, Like I
know that she probably doesn't even understand what's going on,
but I just feel like morally wrong. I think that
animals really do know what's going on. So normally we'll
like give her a bone, put her downstairs. You know,
(02:13):
you get a bone, Mommy gets a bone. We all
get a bone. But the other day, she somehow got
up the stairs, and when we were in the middle
of some sexy time, she jumps up on the bed
and she thought we were playing, so she jumped on
me and she licked my bare nipple and it was
like like I could not believe what's happening.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
And I was like, does this count as a threesome?
Like what is going on here? We need to get
her out of the room.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And I was traumatized, and I feel like it took
us a really long time to be able to even
look her in the eye.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Not the nipple, not the nibble, the nipple, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
It begs the question like what do you do with
your pets when you're having sex? Because do you have
a dog? Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Absolutely not. I couldn't do that, Edmond. In my life,
lot love dogs, but yeah, I'm not ready for that
kind of commitment at all. What is your new plan?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I don't really have a plan, And I think that
this is where I think. And you probably do people
unpack a lot of their sex life questions to you,
because it is kind of like what you do day
to day, Like do people just have a tendency to overshare?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, some people will tell me random stories or especially
when I open the floodgates, like when I put on stories,
tell me your funny experiences, what's gone down? These are
absolute crackers. So yeah, people are pretty forthcoming because topics
like these, unless you have a conversation in the group chat,
unless you have a chat with friends, or it comes
up for whatever reason, there's potentially not a lot of
(03:44):
people who are going to shear the faith that their
dog leapsin there.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
But also if you have a small dog, I think
it's very different to having a big dog. Because after
this situation happened, of course I went straight to my
group chat and told my girlfriends about it, and I
was like, what.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Do you guys do with your dogs?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Because I've got a group of friends who are like,
we're pet parents, but we don't have like human children,
but we still treat our dogs like there our human children.
And I'm like, what do you do with your dogs?
But a lot of them don't co sleep, Like a
lot of them have big dogs who were create trained
and stuff, And I was like, well, I couldn't do
that to her. So I feel like it's one of
(04:18):
those things where it's I think it's like starting to
become a bit of an issue in that we can't
have spontaneous sex anymore because she's always there. She's always
on us, but not in the way that we need
to be on each other.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And so I feel like with a small dock. It's
like Also, we live in a loft apartment.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Our bedroom has no walls, and our bedroom's the mezzanine,
so we can hear it at the bottom of the
stairs crying, and I'm like, well, God, now I'm not
in the mood.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Are you in the mood?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Like?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Do I have to get a dog sitter to come
and look after her and take her for a walk
or something, just so we can have sex.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
There were a lot of people saying, obviously, crate train
your dog, what are you talking about, blah blah blah.
But then there are a lot of people saying, my
dog just sits and scratches at the door if we lock.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Them out the rooms.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So there are a lot of people in a lot
of different camps on this issue.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
And I want to also preface this by saying, I
know a lot of people don't have dogs, like there
are probably a lot of other really intrusive animals, Like
what if people had like ferrets or birds, or like,
I'm sure there are all sorts of animals, not to
mention human children that also fuck up having sex for
a lot of people, oh.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And like your dog wouldn't even be able to jump
up onto the bitch, right, So I guess that's an advantage,
but disadvantage in that probably just makes enough noise.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
So well she can sometimes because she did it recently,
like I don't know, she's taken a running jump to
get up on that bed because she was desperate to
find out what was happening up there, like it must
have sounded fun for her.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So I need to know some of your stories from
the stories that people have written.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
In Okay, I am a look, I've heard at some
of these. I've got even more, but I want to
start off with the ones that made me laugh the most.
There's been a lot of people also saying that they
will like apologize to the dog if they do have
a dog that has to.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Stay in the room.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
They go, oh so awkward, or I just apologize to
the dog or say sorry afterwards. This lady here has
said we have to lock our dog outside or he
steals our clothes as they come off and drags them
out to the backyard. If we forget, we have to
do the shame to collect them all afterwards.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Can you imagine that?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
And I know this person and that is a big dog.
I think they've got a big golden retriever or something,
So you can just imagine this dog doing like a
bit of a treasure hunt and dumping their clothes out.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
On the lawn.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I wonder if that's an intentional act, like if it's
like fuck you guys for locking me out of the
room or something, or for like leaving me out of
this and it's like I'm getting back at your kind
of situation.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Like a naughty kid wanting attention, like no pay attention
to me.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
So then again, if you're stripping off your clothes, you
can't just spontaneously like fling it, you know, off they're
hating to like what bold it and put it up
on a up on a bench.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
The golden tree can't get it.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
That's what I mean, big dog.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
But I mean I don't know whether i'd rather a
dog steal my clothes all scratch at the door. I
reckon i'd take the clothes stealer over the door scratching
any day, take.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
My clothes, take anything. Also, if you walk of shames
to the backyard, really, who's gonna see you?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
One person here has said, our dog just stays in
the corner of the bid. She's chill, but she does
love to try and lock the whitpaitch afterwards.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Nah. No, m m mmmm, too far, too far. I
hope they're stopping that from happening, because I feel like
that is like borderline cruel did oh my goodness saying
that animals do steal disgusting things like if you've ever
had a dog, I'm sure you'll know they have been
(07:55):
known to not only take garbage out of the bin,
but to take garbage out of sanitary bins, to take
dirty nickers from your dirty clothes basket, like dogs foul
and they like this is Actually what's most sick about
that situation is they like their human smell. Oh, I see,
So sometimes dogs will lie in especially for some reason men.
(08:18):
So dogs will often find comfort in lying in their
owner's like old clothes, because they smell like them. So
I wonder if your sexual smell also smells like you
and if they know it's you?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, maybe like sitz in out some pheromones or something
that they just can't get enough of.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
This one's a little bit. We've moved to the lounge
room and this story.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I was giving Habby a BJ on the couch and
could feel eyes on me and thought nothing of it.
Nick minute, my thirty kilo black labrador sprints over and
tries to lick his penis while I was mid performance.
Needless to say, we pissed ourselves laughing and couldn't continue
as we were in hysterics for so long.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Did you mention he just has to join in?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I mean at least he was looking and not biting,
because that could have ended a very different way.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, there is very very true, and I feel like
we've probably heard a story like this before, a little
bit like your one. I've got a story was having
six with the new guy and his dog came up
fast behind us for a bagleck.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
On the bits.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
I was so mortified the dog got put out of
the bedroom after that, Thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
The first time was someone that's so embarrassing, So embarrassing,
isn't it just wild? Like it's awkward enough the first
time you have sex with someone. I can't even imagine
something like that happening. I know this person said, we
gave up.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
So he literally sits on the end of the bed
in his usual spot now until the movement of the
bid makes him fall off.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
These gals have found solutions.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Oh, that is some athletic that is committing to it.
You couldn't be tired for that. That couldn't be like
a nighttime sex thing. That's going to be like a
morning thing when you've got the energy.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I know, I know, And this is one of my
favorites too, because I can just imagine the situation. This
girl inherit a dog from her mum. Her mum's coolgy.
So imagine not even like making the commitment to you know,
I'm going to commit to get a dog. And he
used to sit outside the bedroom window and how the
entire session.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's amazing that people can keep going through that because
I just don't know that I could.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
I know, I just don't think I could relax.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I don't think I could relax with a dog up
in my face or barking or something.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
It just have you ever had a patent counter?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
H No.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I think I was seeing someone for a while and
he had a dog but the dog was very well behaved,
would just not interested, would go and send this bed
if told to, so it was never an issue. In fact,
wasn't even allowed of the bed, so that was not
even a.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Topic of discussion.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
But yeah, I mean I've had cats and stuff growing
up too, but they'd never get amongst the action.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Cats aren't really into that.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I don't feel it surprises me because I feel like
I feel like a cat would just sit up.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
On a shelf somewhere and watch you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I feel like you just get the eyes from somewhere
and they'd be like really judgmental, but it would be
like you'd feel eyes on you and you'd know you
were being watched by something from somewhere, but you just
couldn't quite see them.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Or something erratic and aggressive, you know, like you couldn't
even see the cat, didn't even see the cat in
the room, and then all of a sudden round and
like clinging onto your back and jumping off and running
away or something.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
You know, not like all the fun I want to
join in on the BJ not that attitude. That's not
a cat attitude.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
No, So then I don't know how people do it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I've got some friends and they've got a child and
two dogs and they all sleep in the bed together.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Oh my goodness. I just don't think they're having six.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I don't know. I don't think they are.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Maybe in the shower, vibrators in the shower, I mean, they've.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Got to get what you can get that.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Yeah, I don't think that's happening. Maybe they're having six
in the car. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
They're probably moving in the car together, not without the
dogs or the kids. It's mental wow. If they are
having six, i'd bet they're very very good at quickies.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with the quickie.
I just think that where I am right now, I
think the spontaneity is the fun part, because I haven't
had the spontaneity since pre dog. Unless we're away somewhere,
which is not that often given the current cost of
leving crisis, and.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
You have a dog, this is what I'm going to like.
You can't just go away.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Sometimes exactly hit me with more.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
One person said that they like this person sounds like
they've got it all thought out. So I take our
dog for walks beforehand at the dog park to tire
him out, and then leaves the dog at home, so
the dog's all chill and that's fine. Had been interrupted
previously going down, I'm going to assume going down her
and the pup came in and stuck as heat under
the covers, closed the door and pup could hear her
(12:51):
and all her pleasures. Pup scratched and ruined the door.
So dog park and play sessions before our sessions are required.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
That is just so much forward planning though, which comes
back to that spontaneity thing, and it reminds me of
that seen from bride'sband, you know, when they're on the
plane and she's like, he'll only have sex in the
dark at night once we've both showered. And sometimes I'm
so exhausted from all the grooming, I don't want to
do it anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's what it reminds me of.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
I know, I know there is no spontaneity in that.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Or maybe maybe that's the leader, you know what I mean,
And it's the foot taking the dog for a walk.
This person had a very attached mini dashned dashound dashened.
I don't know how to say that he's a pervert,
panty steeler. We locked him out once commence whining.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
At the door. After we both finished, we lit him
in and he decides he needed to sniff our business
proceeds proceed, screams from my partner, who just got a
cold snout and is junk from behind as he leaned
over from some water.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
We now just give him all the big blankets and
tuck him away from our activities.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh my god, I would just throw some dirty washing
at him, or like put him in the bathroom with
a launder or something where he can just sniff all
the dirty clothes he's in there and just stay occupied.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
For a while.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
I just want to know was the desh like on
the bed or on the ground.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I don't know, you like, I mean then I was
supposed to jump from their back, So like, maybe these
guys are doing it on the floor.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Maybe they've got a mattress on the floor.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
It's true. I'm like, how's he getting up in your butt?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
A lot more licking numbers. So early on with a
new puppy, she jumped up onto the bed and licked
my leg. It was early on in the six doggie
looks in full play are not. It made me feel
so iicky, distraction is number one. Choose that occupy them
for a bit, close the door if you like. I
personally don't like to be watched by the dog, and
use crack training.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Now she's learned to.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Either stay away or go under the bid. So she said,
whatever makes you feel comfortable. But yeah, these people out there,
they have been through this.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
I tell you what I.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Feel like, after a couple of times, they kind of
get the hint. Like my dog will sulk, and she
will absolutely sulk. I'll put her downstairs, and you know,
after it's over, I come downstairs, I whatever have a shower.
She will just watch me with her eyes and just
follow me around but not move, Like, how dare you
do that to me? And I feel so girl, I do.
(15:15):
I feel like she's slut shaming me. I'm like, god, friend,
you've had a baby, you know what. You know what
this is about. Don't knofel like you haven't done this too,
You're not so innocent.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Oh my gosh, like the fact that we got this
MANI replies, And these are only the replies that were
not actually giving me advice about how to train a
dog and put it in a crate. You know, I
feel like we all know that there would be a solution.
But yeah, this person said, our dogs just sleep in
their beds on the floor of our bedroom, and when
we're done, we just apologize to them both.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Well, that must be nice, how nice and civil of
you and your perfect family. I know.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Yeah, so you know.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And then this girl lost her virginity with the dog
in the room. Wasn't planned, but the dog crate was
in the room. He was rewarded with extra treats as
hush money. Oh my, hopefully forget the previous night's experiences
he wasn't meant to witness.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I mean, I don't think she was supposed to experience
that too. I feel like your first time should definitely
not be with a dog in the room, unless that's
some kind of like weird kink. In each case, you
should probably be in jail because that's.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yeah, we're all about the context. We all like a nice,
nice context. But yeah, the gals have been through a lot.
What did your group chet have to say? What do
they do with their dogs?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
They all crate train them.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I think because they've all got big dogs, or they
just don't do it, or it's just like all the
spontaneity has been taken out of the situation altogether, which
I feel like really does affect intimacy.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Yeah, I guess as well.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Do they have bigger dogs because a tequlo dog, you
wouldn't really think that great training.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Was like that important.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They do, And I think it must come down to
the type of pet and the type of owner you are.
And similarly to the way that not all human parents
agree with co sleeping, I'm also sure that not all
dog parents agree with co sleeping, which again is can
completely fine, but also that means for us, since she's
come into the picture, that the couch is off limits,
the flaws off limits. Anywhere she can easily access is
(17:13):
off limits.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Of course, you can't have a little sneaky like spurning
sish on the couch because you've probably got a little
chihuahua in between you.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, she's literally like the thirty centimeter for Jesus rule.
Like when she lies in between us, it's like, Wow.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
I would be worried with a dog that size in
my beard that I would squash it like how some
mother pigs squash the young I would be concerned.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Everyone does say that, but you know, she's there because
she'll make herself known, which is good but unfortunately not
good for our sex lives. As like, just speaking as
someone who's like advocating for sexual wellness and stuff, what
are some things that you or some tips that you
would give to people who are trying to get the
spontanaity back into their sex lives. And let me just
see if I can like wire the dog into this conversation.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
I mean spontanating in general.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I feel like when we talk to our community, it
normally comes from I mean sometimes it normally comes from
like a big usually life change. So often people will
talk about, you know, since having kids or whatever, then
the spontaneity has died down. Maybe in this case it's
too with a dog, in the case where people are
maybe new parents and so on. I do know that
a lot of experiences from our community are people forget
(18:27):
that full play starts when penetration in. So if you are,
you know, if you feel like your partner isn't meeting
you at the same level of libido or so on,
they don't want to initiate as much as you, they
don't have the same drive. Then like considering what you're
doing outside of the bedroom and like the lead up
to that, so they don't have, say they're not taking
it as much of a mental load. They can actually
(18:48):
have time to relax and chill.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
If you've got two dogs and two kids or whatever
else your friend d you know, like it's pretty difficult,
there's a lot going on.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
So yeah, remembering that sex isn't just the physical sense,
it actually is about your life as a whole and
how you can make everything fear or you can like
sit the scene for a really sexual and sixy experience
and actually having six doesn't always need to be penetration,
Like is it just a little pash or are you
doing something exciting in the laundry or what is happening
(19:17):
in the shower? Have you got your vibe in the
shower where you can go and have a bit of
me time And then that might in.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Turn heat things up a little bit.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
But I think the main thing we hear from people
when it comes to spontaneity after those life changes is
that it's just a change in you know, it is
a change in your whole life, and you have to
remember that you're looking after yourself and your partner so
that there is space for spontaneity totally.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
And I know that I'm probably going to get the
shit bushed out of me from parents with kids who
have like real problems with this, But I feel like
we do live in a world where our dogs are
like our children, especially if you are a co sleeper,
and I feel like that is just like so much
part of the culture that we are in. And every
time I think about you, because you do advocate and
you've got those toys and things like that, my mind
(20:01):
sometimes goes to, like, what if I tried to bring
a vibrator in and the heard that she would go
ballistic and she would like, next minute I'd look at
her and she'd have it in her mouth.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
It would be like I.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Also, dogs overwhelmed love the vibrators. If I can tell
you one thing I've learned, they love the look of
a vibrator. I mean, look at any dog toy. The
amount of photos we've been seeing over the years of
toys getting absolutely ripped to shreds by dogs because there's
just something about them.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Maybe it's a smell thing too.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
I was houseitting for a friend and I said, hey,
does their dog chew anything? Is she all good? And
they're like, na, Nah, she doesn't chew anything anymore. I'm
like cool, lift my suitcase on the ground. Sure enough,
came back. It was like she'd just thought, like, my
parents are gone, I don't know who you are.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
She didn't like two piers of undies and I got
back and they were like one of the butt plugs
that I'd had with me was like out in the
middle of the.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Lounge and I was jetting her parents. Come.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Well, she doesn't chew, but she knows what she likes,
you know. So if I have one piece of advice,
is that, yeah, your dogs love a six to oh my.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
God about them again.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
It reminds me of that episode of Sex in the
City when Miranda and Steve gone their honeymoon and Charlotte
and Harry are looking after the baby and the baby
pops up when they're having sex, and she's mortified and
she calls her and she's like, I just need you.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
To know this happened. I know he's gonna need therapy
and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Like I would one hundred percent do that if I
was dog sitting and someone else's dogs saw me or
stole my undies. Or stole a vibrator on something. I
would feel so responsible.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh man, yeah, look, you know these things happened. I mean,
pickyr house little wisely, I guess they don't pick the
one that's gonna leave butt plugs on the floor for
your dog to get. But you know, I don't blame Sunny.
She's a little bit a few changes in the house,
you know, me coming in and looking after her.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
So she was exploring, like she was exploring.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Everyone explore with the butflog a police once and they're like.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And dogs know as well, like if their owners go away,
they know something's like obviously they know something's different. But
you know they'll tease the waters, see how far they
can go, see what they can get away with.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
You know that get bored sometimes.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Too, totally.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Because I also saw something that made me feel bad
the other day and it was, oh no, no, I
shouldn't compare myself to other peoples, and everything you're going
through in life is a season. But it was this
woman that I follow on Instagram, and she's like a
very busy mother of more than one child, young children,
and she was doing one of those anonymous Q and
a's and one of the questions to her was how
often do you and your husband have sex?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
And she said, we make sure we do it at
least once a week.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And I was like that used to be me easily
more than once a week, and now I'm like, we
every time it happens, we like do a pinky swear
at the time to be like, promise we won't let
it go longer than a week again, because when we do,
it's so good. But this goddamn Chiwawa is she is
the love of our lives that is ruining our relationship.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
There is honestly, this is honestly the funniest thing I've
even heard, just the commitment to the dog. Commitment to
the dog. I don't even know your dog's name. What
is your dog's name?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Twinkie?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Twinky? Oh good, yeah to Twinkie.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Commitment to Twinkie.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Like we come on like what's it called hands on
pet parents? Like we both go with her to the vet,
we both go on her walks with her, Like we
are both very present parents.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Are they what are they called helicopter parents or something
instead of helicopter parents?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Like I could never have real children because I'd be
a nightmare.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
And you definitely wouldn't be having any six with multiple
kids in Chihuahua in the bed.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
It would be closed for business.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
I love it. Wow, hopefully that was helpful. You know,
it was very helpful.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
So I guess just to close it down, what do
you think would be like an ideal head friendly sexy
time scenario.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I mean I shared a lot of funny stories, but
it was pretty clear from people who had successfully qreate
trained their dogs.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
You know, I got all them.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'm oh, boring, boring, boring of her there before, but
actually those are probably the people having a lot more
sex because there's a lot of people in there. Yeah,
I mean I did like the walk going for a
walk idea. I mean a lot of edmund before you
had six. I mean, if you've got a dog that
needs walking anyway, then great stuff. But yeah, I mean
(24:21):
it just sounds like if you can create train them
and it works for you, then gold stars.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Otherwise you might just have to put up with licked nips.
I guess, get.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Some noise canceling headphones and lock the fucking door.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Well, thank you so much. I could chat about this
for hours. I'm probably gonna take it to TikTok and
get some more about it. But can you just let
everybody know where they can find more about you? Of course,
I'm Vi Conway Underscore on Instagram and also at Girls
Get Off is our business, where you can.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Find all the toys that dogs like but shouldn't eat
and they're a lot nicer for use on you.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
And just remember your dog as needs but so do you,
so find a way you can meet them both.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I mean
A pod Jake Production. Welcome to Unhinged.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
This is a podcast about the unfiltered, unhinged, and uncomfortably
relatable shit that you only talk about in your closest
group chats.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm Phoebe viv Conway.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I have something I need to confess to you that
I actually can't believe I'm confessing on a very public platform,
but I feel like this is an issue that is
definitely something that a lot of people deal with, but
maybe it's just that no one's talking about it.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Well. When you messaged through this topic, I immediately remember
the time a friend sid to me, what on earth
do people do with their dogs when we have six?
My new puppy is ruining my six life. And when
I put it to the people on Instagram stories to
hear about what they've been through, what they've experienced, and
like if they've got any hot tips.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
You will not believe what I got back from people.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I'm so glad because I need like other people's opinions
on this because I have known since I got my dog.
My partner and I have had our dog for coming
up to three years now, and I am the first
to admit that she is such a cock block. Firstly
because we are co sleeping parents, so our dog sleeps
in our bed with us number one, So we had
a very regular, very healthy, very active sex life before
(01:29):
she came along, and then she's been in the bed
with us ever since. Was maybe is our like real
parents to human babies feel when they say that everything
becomes so much less spontaneous, And it's like sometimes we're like,
is it because we're in like a super long term
relationship or is it because our dog is co sleeping
with us? And I'm like, it's one hundred percent because
our dog is co sleeping with us, And it's not
(01:49):
like your.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Dog's very big eat it like sleeping kilos.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Yes, I think one of my boobs is bigger than her.
But the other day, so like normally I am not
comfortable with doing it in front of her, Like I
know that she probably doesn't even understand what's going on,
but I just feel like morally wrong. I think that
animals really do know what's going on. So normally we'll
like give her a bone, put her downstairs. You know,
(02:13):
you get a bone, Mommy gets a bone. We all
get a bone. But the other day, she somehow got
up the stairs, and when we were in the middle
of some sexy time, she jumps up on the bed
and she thought we were playing, so she jumped on
me and she licked my bare nipple and it was
like like I could not believe what's happening.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
And I was like, does this count as a threesome?
Like what is going on here? We need to get
her out of the room.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
And I was traumatized, and I feel like it took
us a really long time to be able to even
look her in the eye.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Not the nipple, not the nibble, the nipple, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
It begs the question like what do you do with
your pets when you're having sex? Because do you have
a dog? Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Absolutely not. I couldn't do that, Edmond. In my life,
lot love dogs, but yeah, I'm not ready for that
kind of commitment at all. What is your new plan?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I don't really have a plan, And I think that
this is where I think. And you probably do people
unpack a lot of their sex life questions to you,
because it is kind of like what you do day
to day, Like do people just have a tendency to overshare?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Yeah, some people will tell me random stories or especially
when I open the floodgates, like when I put on stories,
tell me your funny experiences, what's gone down? These are
absolute crackers. So yeah, people are pretty forthcoming because topics
like these, unless you have a conversation in the group chat,
unless you have a chat with friends, or it comes
up for whatever reason, there's potentially not a lot of
(03:44):
people who are going to shear the faith that their
dog leapsin there.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
But also if you have a small dog, I think
it's very different to having a big dog. Because after
this situation happened, of course I went straight to my
group chat and told my girlfriends about it, and I
was like, what.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Do you guys do with your dogs?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Because I've got a group of friends who are like,
we're pet parents, but we don't have like human children,
but we still treat our dogs like there our human children.
And I'm like, what do you do with your dogs?
But a lot of them don't co sleep, Like a
lot of them have big dogs who were create trained
and stuff, And I was like, well, I couldn't do
that to her. So I feel like it's one of
(04:18):
those things where it's I think it's like starting to
become a bit of an issue in that we can't
have spontaneous sex anymore because she's always there. She's always
on us, but not in the way that we need
to be on each other.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And so I feel like with a small dock. It's
like Also, we live in a loft apartment.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Our bedroom has no walls, and our bedroom's the mezzanine,
so we can hear it at the bottom of the
stairs crying, and I'm like, well, God, now I'm not
in the mood.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Are you in the mood?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Like?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Do I have to get a dog sitter to come
and look after her and take her for a walk
or something, just so we can have sex.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
There were a lot of people saying, obviously, crate train
your dog, what are you talking about, blah blah blah.
But then there are a lot of people saying, my
dog just sits and scratches at the door if we lock.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Them out the rooms.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So there are a lot of people in a lot
of different camps on this issue.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
And I want to also preface this by saying, I
know a lot of people don't have dogs, like there
are probably a lot of other really intrusive animals, Like
what if people had like ferrets or birds, or like,
I'm sure there are all sorts of animals, not to
mention human children that also fuck up having sex for
a lot of people, oh.
Speaker 4 (05:29):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And like your dog wouldn't even be able to jump
up onto the bitch, right, So I guess that's an advantage,
but disadvantage in that probably just makes enough noise.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
So well she can sometimes because she did it recently,
like I don't know, she's taken a running jump to
get up on that bed because she was desperate to
find out what was happening up there, like it must
have sounded fun for her.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
So I need to know some of your stories from
the stories that people have written.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
In Okay, I am a look, I've heard at some
of these. I've got even more, but I want to
start off with the ones that made me laugh the most.
There's been a lot of people also saying that they
will like apologize to the dog if they do have
a dog that has to.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Stay in the room.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
They go, oh so awkward, or I just apologize to
the dog or say sorry afterwards. This lady here has
said we have to lock our dog outside or he
steals our clothes as they come off and drags them
out to the backyard. If we forget, we have to
do the shame to collect them all afterwards.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Can you imagine that?
Speaker 3 (06:30):
And I know this person and that is a big dog.
I think they've got a big golden retriever or something,
So you can just imagine this dog doing like a
bit of a treasure hunt and dumping their clothes out.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
On the lawn.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I wonder if that's an intentional act, like if it's
like fuck you guys for locking me out of the
room or something, or for like leaving me out of
this and it's like I'm getting back at your kind
of situation.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Like a naughty kid wanting attention, like no pay attention
to me.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
So then again, if you're stripping off your clothes, you
can't just spontaneously like fling it, you know, off they're
hating to like what bold it and put it up
on a up on a bench.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
The golden tree can't get it.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
That's what I mean, big dog.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
But I mean I don't know whether i'd rather a
dog steal my clothes all scratch at the door. I
reckon i'd take the clothes stealer over the door scratching
any day, take.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
My clothes, take anything. Also, if you walk of shames
to the backyard, really, who's gonna see you?
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
One person here has said, our dog just stays in
the corner of the bid. She's chill, but she does
love to try and lock the whitpaitch afterwards.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Nah. No, m m mmmm, too far, too far. I
hope they're stopping that from happening, because I feel like
that is like borderline cruel did oh my goodness saying
that animals do steal disgusting things like if you've ever
had a dog, I'm sure you'll know they have been
(07:55):
known to not only take garbage out of the bin,
but to take garbage out of sanitary bins, to take
dirty nickers from your dirty clothes basket, like dogs foul
and they like this is Actually what's most sick about
that situation is they like their human smell. Oh, I see,
So sometimes dogs will lie in especially for some reason men.
(08:18):
So dogs will often find comfort in lying in their
owner's like old clothes, because they smell like them. So
I wonder if your sexual smell also smells like you
and if they know it's you?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, maybe like sitz in out some pheromones or something
that they just can't get enough of.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
This one's a little bit. We've moved to the lounge
room and this story.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I was giving Habby a BJ on the couch and
could feel eyes on me and thought nothing of it.
Nick minute, my thirty kilo black labrador sprints over and
tries to lick his penis while I was mid performance.
Needless to say, we pissed ourselves laughing and couldn't continue
as we were in hysterics for so long.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Did you mention he just has to join in?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I mean at least he was looking and not biting,
because that could have ended a very different way.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, there is very very true, and I feel like
we've probably heard a story like this before, a little
bit like your one. I've got a story was having
six with the new guy and his dog came up
fast behind us for a bagleck.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
On the bits.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
I was so mortified the dog got put out of
the bedroom after that, Thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
The first time was someone that's so embarrassing, So embarrassing,
isn't it just wild? Like it's awkward enough the first
time you have sex with someone. I can't even imagine
something like that happening. I know this person said, we
gave up.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
So he literally sits on the end of the bed
in his usual spot now until the movement of the
bid makes him fall off.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
These gals have found solutions.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Oh, that is some athletic that is committing to it.
You couldn't be tired for that. That couldn't be like
a nighttime sex thing. That's going to be like a
morning thing when you've got the energy.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I know, I know, And this is one of my
favorites too, because I can just imagine the situation. This
girl inherit a dog from her mum. Her mum's coolgy.
So imagine not even like making the commitment to you know,
I'm going to commit to get a dog. And he
used to sit outside the bedroom window and how the
entire session.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's amazing that people can keep going through that because
I just don't know that I could.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
I know, I just don't think I could relax.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I don't think I could relax with a dog up
in my face or barking or something.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
It just have you ever had a patent counter?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
H No.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
I think I was seeing someone for a while and
he had a dog but the dog was very well behaved,
would just not interested, would go and send this bed
if told to, so it was never an issue. In fact,
wasn't even allowed of the bed, so that was not
even a.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Topic of discussion.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
But yeah, I mean I've had cats and stuff growing
up too, but they'd never get amongst the action.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Cats aren't really into that.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I don't feel it surprises me because I feel like
I feel like a cat would just sit up.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
On a shelf somewhere and watch you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
I feel like you just get the eyes from somewhere
and they'd be like really judgmental, but it would be
like you'd feel eyes on you and you'd know you
were being watched by something from somewhere, but you just
couldn't quite see them.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Or something erratic and aggressive, you know, like you couldn't
even see the cat, didn't even see the cat in
the room, and then all of a sudden round and
like clinging onto your back and jumping off and running
away or something.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
You know, not like all the fun I want to
join in on the BJ not that attitude. That's not
a cat attitude.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
No, So then I don't know how people do it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I've got some friends and they've got a child and
two dogs and they all sleep in the bed together.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Oh my goodness. I just don't think they're having six.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
I don't know. I don't think they are.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Maybe in the shower, vibrators in the shower, I mean, they've.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Got to get what you can get that.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Yeah, I don't think that's happening. Maybe they're having six
in the car. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
They're probably moving in the car together, not without the
dogs or the kids. It's mental wow. If they are
having six, i'd bet they're very very good at quickies.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with the quickie.
I just think that where I am right now, I
think the spontaneity is the fun part, because I haven't
had the spontaneity since pre dog. Unless we're away somewhere,
which is not that often given the current cost of
leving crisis, and.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
You have a dog, this is what I'm going to like.
You can't just go away.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Sometimes exactly hit me with more.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
One person said that they like this person sounds like
they've got it all thought out. So I take our
dog for walks beforehand at the dog park to tire
him out, and then leaves the dog at home, so
the dog's all chill and that's fine. Had been interrupted
previously going down, I'm going to assume going down her
and the pup came in and stuck as heat under
the covers, closed the door and pup could hear her
(12:51):
and all her pleasures. Pup scratched and ruined the door.
So dog park and play sessions before our sessions are required.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
That is just so much forward planning though, which comes
back to that spontaneity thing, and it reminds me of
that seen from bride'sband, you know, when they're on the
plane and she's like, he'll only have sex in the
dark at night once we've both showered. And sometimes I'm
so exhausted from all the grooming, I don't want to
do it anymore.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's what it reminds me of.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
I know, I know there is no spontaneity in that.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Or maybe maybe that's the leader, you know what I mean,
And it's the foot taking the dog for a walk.
This person had a very attached mini dashned dashound dashened.
I don't know how to say that he's a pervert,
panty steeler. We locked him out once commence whining.
Speaker 4 (13:40):
At the door. After we both finished, we lit him
in and he decides he needed to sniff our business
proceeds proceed, screams from my partner, who just got a
cold snout and is junk from behind as he leaned
over from some water.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
We now just give him all the big blankets and
tuck him away from our activities.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh my god, I would just throw some dirty washing
at him, or like put him in the bathroom with
a launder or something where he can just sniff all
the dirty clothes he's in there and just stay occupied.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
For a while.
Speaker 4 (14:07):
I just want to know was the desh like on
the bed or on the ground.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I don't know, you like, I mean then I was
supposed to jump from their back, So like, maybe these
guys are doing it on the floor.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Maybe they've got a mattress on the floor.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
It's true. I'm like, how's he getting up in your butt?
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
A lot more licking numbers. So early on with a
new puppy, she jumped up onto the bed and licked
my leg. It was early on in the six doggie
looks in full play are not. It made me feel
so iicky, distraction is number one. Choose that occupy them
for a bit, close the door if you like. I
personally don't like to be watched by the dog, and
use crack training.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Now she's learned to.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Either stay away or go under the bid. So she said,
whatever makes you feel comfortable. But yeah, these people out there,
they have been through this.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
I tell you what I.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Feel like, after a couple of times, they kind of
get the hint. Like my dog will sulk, and she
will absolutely sulk. I'll put her downstairs, and you know,
after it's over, I come downstairs, I whatever have a shower.
She will just watch me with her eyes and just
follow me around but not move, Like, how dare you
do that to me? And I feel so girl, I do.
(15:15):
I feel like she's slut shaming me. I'm like, god, friend,
you've had a baby, you know what. You know what
this is about. Don't knofel like you haven't done this too,
You're not so innocent.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Oh my gosh, like the fact that we got this
MANI replies, And these are only the replies that were
not actually giving me advice about how to train a
dog and put it in a crate. You know, I
feel like we all know that there would be a solution.
But yeah, this person said, our dogs just sleep in
their beds on the floor of our bedroom, and when
we're done, we just apologize to them both.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Well, that must be nice, how nice and civil of
you and your perfect family. I know.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
Yeah, so you know.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
And then this girl lost her virginity with the dog
in the room. Wasn't planned, but the dog crate was
in the room. He was rewarded with extra treats as
hush money. Oh my, hopefully forget the previous night's experiences
he wasn't meant to witness.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
I mean, I don't think she was supposed to experience
that too. I feel like your first time should definitely
not be with a dog in the room, unless that's
some kind of like weird kink. In each case, you
should probably be in jail because that's.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Yeah, we're all about the context. We all like a nice,
nice context. But yeah, the gals have been through a lot.
What did your group chet have to say? What do
they do with their dogs?
Speaker 1 (16:30):
They all crate train them.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
I think because they've all got big dogs, or they
just don't do it, or it's just like all the
spontaneity has been taken out of the situation altogether, which
I feel like really does affect intimacy.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
Yeah, I guess as well.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Do they have bigger dogs because a tequlo dog, you
wouldn't really think that great training.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Was like that important.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They do, And I think it must come down to
the type of pet and the type of owner you are.
And similarly to the way that not all human parents
agree with co sleeping, I'm also sure that not all
dog parents agree with co sleeping, which again is can
completely fine, but also that means for us, since she's
come into the picture, that the couch is off limits,
the flaws off limits. Anywhere she can easily access is
(17:13):
off limits.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Of course, you can't have a little sneaky like spurning
sish on the couch because you've probably got a little
chihuahua in between you.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Yeah, she's literally like the thirty centimeter for Jesus rule.
Like when she lies in between us, it's like, Wow.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
I would be worried with a dog that size in
my beard that I would squash it like how some
mother pigs squash the young I would be concerned.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Everyone does say that, but you know, she's there because
she'll make herself known, which is good but unfortunately not
good for our sex lives. As like, just speaking as
someone who's like advocating for sexual wellness and stuff, what
are some things that you or some tips that you
would give to people who are trying to get the
spontanaity back into their sex lives. And let me just
see if I can like wire the dog into this conversation.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
I mean spontanating in general.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I feel like when we talk to our community, it
normally comes from I mean sometimes it normally comes from
like a big usually life change. So often people will
talk about, you know, since having kids or whatever, then
the spontaneity has died down. Maybe in this case it's
too with a dog, in the case where people are
maybe new parents and so on. I do know that
a lot of experiences from our community are people forget
(18:27):
that full play starts when penetration in. So if you are,
you know, if you feel like your partner isn't meeting
you at the same level of libido or so on,
they don't want to initiate as much as you, they
don't have the same drive. Then like considering what you're
doing outside of the bedroom and like the lead up
to that, so they don't have, say they're not taking
it as much of a mental load. They can actually
(18:48):
have time to relax and chill.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
If you've got two dogs and two kids or whatever
else your friend d you know, like it's pretty difficult,
there's a lot going on.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
So yeah, remembering that sex isn't just the physical sense,
it actually is about your life as a whole and
how you can make everything fear or you can like
sit the scene for a really sexual and sixy experience
and actually having six doesn't always need to be penetration,
Like is it just a little pash or are you
doing something exciting in the laundry or what is happening
(19:17):
in the shower? Have you got your vibe in the
shower where you can go and have a bit of
me time And then that might in.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Turn heat things up a little bit.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
But I think the main thing we hear from people
when it comes to spontaneity after those life changes is
that it's just a change in you know, it is
a change in your whole life, and you have to
remember that you're looking after yourself and your partner so
that there is space for spontaneity totally.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
And I know that I'm probably going to get the
shit bushed out of me from parents with kids who
have like real problems with this, But I feel like
we do live in a world where our dogs are
like our children, especially if you are a co sleeper,
and I feel like that is just like so much
part of the culture that we are in. And every
time I think about you, because you do advocate and
you've got those toys and things like that, my mind
(20:01):
sometimes goes to, like, what if I tried to bring
a vibrator in and the heard that she would go
ballistic and she would like, next minute I'd look at
her and she'd have it in her mouth.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
It would be like I.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Also, dogs overwhelmed love the vibrators. If I can tell
you one thing I've learned, they love the look of
a vibrator. I mean, look at any dog toy. The
amount of photos we've been seeing over the years of
toys getting absolutely ripped to shreds by dogs because there's
just something about them.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Maybe it's a smell thing too.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
I was houseitting for a friend and I said, hey,
does their dog chew anything? Is she all good? And
they're like, na, Nah, she doesn't chew anything anymore. I'm
like cool, lift my suitcase on the ground. Sure enough,
came back. It was like she'd just thought, like, my
parents are gone, I don't know who you are.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
She didn't like two piers of undies and I got
back and they were like one of the butt plugs
that I'd had with me was like out in the
middle of the.
Speaker 4 (20:53):
Lounge and I was jetting her parents. Come.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Well, she doesn't chew, but she knows what she likes,
you know. So if I have one piece of advice,
is that, yeah, your dogs love a six to oh my.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
God about them again.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
It reminds me of that episode of Sex in the
City when Miranda and Steve gone their honeymoon and Charlotte
and Harry are looking after the baby and the baby
pops up when they're having sex, and she's mortified and
she calls her and she's like, I just need you.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
To know this happened. I know he's gonna need therapy
and blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Like I would one hundred percent do that if I
was dog sitting and someone else's dogs saw me or
stole my undies. Or stole a vibrator on something. I
would feel so responsible.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Oh man, yeah, look, you know these things happened. I mean,
pickyr house little wisely, I guess they don't pick the
one that's gonna leave butt plugs on the floor for
your dog to get. But you know, I don't blame Sunny.
She's a little bit a few changes in the house,
you know, me coming in and looking after her.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
So she was exploring, like she was exploring.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Everyone explore with the butflog a police once and they're like.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
And dogs know as well, like if their owners go away,
they know something's like obviously they know something's different. But
you know they'll tease the waters, see how far they
can go, see what they can get away with.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
You know that get bored sometimes.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Too, totally.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Because I also saw something that made me feel bad
the other day and it was, oh no, no, I
shouldn't compare myself to other peoples, and everything you're going
through in life is a season. But it was this
woman that I follow on Instagram, and she's like a
very busy mother of more than one child, young children,
and she was doing one of those anonymous Q and
a's and one of the questions to her was how
often do you and your husband have sex?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
And she said, we make sure we do it at
least once a week.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And I was like that used to be me easily
more than once a week, and now I'm like, we
every time it happens, we like do a pinky swear
at the time to be like, promise we won't let
it go longer than a week again, because when we do,
it's so good. But this goddamn Chiwawa is she is
the love of our lives that is ruining our relationship.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
There is honestly, this is honestly the funniest thing I've
even heard, just the commitment to the dog. Commitment to
the dog. I don't even know your dog's name. What
is your dog's name?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Twinkie?
Speaker 4 (23:02):
Twinky? Oh good, yeah to Twinkie.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Commitment to Twinkie.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Like we come on like what's it called hands on
pet parents? Like we both go with her to the vet,
we both go on her walks with her, Like we
are both very present parents.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Are they what are they called helicopter parents or something
instead of helicopter parents?
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Like I could never have real children because I'd be
a nightmare.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
And you definitely wouldn't be having any six with multiple
kids in Chihuahua in the bed.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
It would be closed for business.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
I love it. Wow, hopefully that was helpful. You know,
it was very helpful.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
So I guess just to close it down, what do
you think would be like an ideal head friendly sexy
time scenario.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
I mean I shared a lot of funny stories, but
it was pretty clear from people who had successfully qreate
trained their dogs.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
You know, I got all them.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I'm oh, boring, boring, boring of her there before, but
actually those are probably the people having a lot more
sex because there's a lot of people in there. Yeah,
I mean I did like the walk going for a
walk idea. I mean a lot of edmund before you
had six. I mean, if you've got a dog that
needs walking anyway, then great stuff. But yeah, I mean
(24:21):
it just sounds like if you can create train them
and it works for you, then gold stars.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Otherwise you might just have to put up with licked nips.
I guess, get.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Some noise canceling headphones and lock the fucking door.
Speaker 4 (24:36):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (24:38):
Well, thank you so much. I could chat about this
for hours. I'm probably gonna take it to TikTok and
get some more about it. But can you just let
everybody know where they can find more about you? Of course,
I'm Vi Conway Underscore on Instagram and also at Girls
Get Off is our business, where you can.
Speaker 4 (24:55):
Find all the toys that dogs like but shouldn't eat
and they're a lot nicer for use on you.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
And just remember your dog as needs but so do you,
so find a way you can meet them both.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I mean
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