September 20, 2023 • 11 mins
So much to take in. I hope I'm steering these folks in the right direction. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Through every night
on my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love
(00:23):
them all. When you call or you write with a
situation that you're in and you just need a little
advice and direction, we love them all, and today we
wanted to share some of them with you on Hey
It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma. Says Hello, Delilah. I was
hoping to get advice from you. Lately, I've lost my
(00:47):
motivation to keep my relationship going. I've been with my
hard working man for thirteen years. We have two kids,
home with some land, and we just got married six
months ago. We probably look pretty happy, but the weight
of carrying the relationship is feeling very heavy. My husband
(01:09):
makes the money and occasionally we'll do some maintenance type chores,
but for all other aspects of life, our home, our kids,
our schedules, shopping, cooking activities, et cetera. Everything falls to me.
It's an age old dilemma, I know, and I wish
I'd recognized it. Sooner, But now that we're here, is
(01:32):
there any escape? I just don't know what to do?
Please give me some words of advice. From overwhelmed Overwhelmed,
I will have my Mama Delilah words of advice coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from overwhelmed. A mom,
(01:56):
a stay at home mom that is feeling very lonely
in her relationship of thirteen years and asking if if
I have any words of advice because she feels like
giving up, she says, She asks, is there any escape? Honey?
You don't need an escape. You need a date with
(02:18):
your husband. I guess you could call that an escape.
You need to talk to your folks or his folks,
or your sister or whoever, and have somebody step in
and take care of the house and the dogs and
the cats and the kids for a weekend or even
just one night that you can get away and connect
(02:39):
heart to heart. He's so busy working, he comes home
tired and probably plops down and doesn't engage much. And
you're so busy running the house, taking care of the kids,
taking care of the land, taking care of blah blah
blah blah blah, that you haven't made time to take
care of the relationship. It is an age old dilemma.
(03:02):
And there are so many, so many men and women
who have called me or written me over the years
who are overwhelmed, and you need time to rekindle, to
stoke the fires of your marriage, of your relationship. You
(03:23):
also need to reframe things. You have the opportunities that
most people don't have, and when you look at it
that way and you find the gratitude for that, it
changes everything. So make a date. See if you can
spend some time reconnecting heart to heart and recognize how
(03:49):
blessed you are, and then pay somebody to come twice
a month and clean your house. That'll make a huge
difference if you got somebody else grubbing toilets and Florida
as I kids do. Not. Before I share Tonight's Delilah's dilemma,
(04:10):
please understand, I am not a doctor. I am not
a therapist. I'm not a counselor. I'm a mama, a
mama bear. I've been around the block three times, maybe four.
But any insight I share is not clinical and it
is I'm not a licensed professional. Okay, I just want
(04:31):
to say that before I read this letter. Tonight's letter
is from Eleana, who says, I love your show. It's
given me a lot of advice through my life. I'm
twenty two and struggling with anxiety and depression. I had
my son, who means the world to me when I
was eighteen, then lost my baby daughter in twenty twenty
(04:51):
when I was nineteen. Now I cannot have any more children.
I love my family, but sometimes I feel lost and
I can't find my way through the pain and sadness.
I've seen doctors and therapists, but that very dark cloud
is always hanging overhead. Do you have any advice from Elianna?
(05:15):
I do, and I will share it with you next.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a twenty two year old
who says she is struggling with anxiety and depression. Eliana,
you are struggling, honey, with grief, overwhelming grief. You have
(05:42):
lost a child, a baby, and you say you cannot
have any more children naturally. So that's another huge loss
for somebody so very young. This is overwhelming heartbreak, making grief,
(06:02):
and our society doesn't usually allow people to grieve, especially
young people, especially young people your age who have suffered
the loss of a child. People will say the dumbest things,
and that only compounds and complicates the grief. You don't
(06:26):
want to hear that the baby you lost is a
little angel watching over you in heaven. You don't want
to hear oh you're young, blah blah blah blah blah.
You want to hear your baby's laughter, and you can't
because they're in heaven. At least in my belief system,
my children are in heaven. So what you are trying
(06:48):
to stand up under is grief that is so heavy.
It's weighing you down in an enormous way. So understand
that and give yourself permission to grieve and cry your tears.
(07:08):
But you also need to acknowledge the loss, not just
the loss of your baby, but the loss of your
ability to carry more children, because that is a huge loss.
So if I were you, I would go online and
I would find support groups. Compassionate friends comes to mind. First,
talk to people who can speak love and encouragement and
(07:31):
kindness into your young heart. Okay, Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is
from someone named Dee. She says hi to Delilah, after
thirty two years of marriage, I'm trying to find a
way to detach from my husband with love. At some
(07:56):
point I realized that all the heartache and arguments over
his behavior are just a waste of my time and energy.
He is not going to change. I don't mean to
suggest that his disrespect is okay, but at this point
in our lives, we are older, we have health issues,
and I don't want to spend the rest of my
(08:19):
days waiting or pleading for him to change. Leaving will
simply create a whole new set of problems I'm illiquipped
to deal with. While I can say and write this
with conviction, anxiety is eating me alive. Would love your
take on things from d D. I will share my
(08:40):
words of wisdom coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from somebody named d who's been with her husband over
thirty two years, married thirty two years, and he is
doing something She doesn't say what that has destruck I'm
(09:00):
going to take a stab in the dark and say
he's an alcoholic or a drug addict or both. Or
maybe it's a workaholic or a porn addict. I don't know,
but the fact that he is disrespectful to you tells
me he has addictive behaviors that he is not willing
to face or change. And at this point in your life,
(09:23):
leaving would create a whole new set of problems, especially
if you are not financially independent. So what can you do?
You can go to a support group that will teach
you how to detach with love. There are support groups
that that is one of the key elements they share
(09:44):
is how to detach with love. If the addiction is alcoholism,
the support group is called Alanon. They will help you
to process all this anger, all this rage, all this
feeling of hurt, loneliness, and how to detach with love
so that you can still have a great life, a
(10:05):
good life, a fulfilling life, a life with friends and family,
and not buy in to the other person's addiction. There
are support groups for every addictive behavior under the sun,
and now there's a lot of them online or call
in meetings. So if you can't drive yourself or get
(10:27):
to a meeting, you can find a meeting online. I
know it's possible. So find a support group, d and
find a way to live a very loving, full exciting
life without the other person having to change because, like
you said, they're probably not going to. I so hope
(10:51):
you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I
enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with you
each weekday on Hey It's Delilah. Do you Wan
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Through every night
on my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love
(00:23):
them all. When you call or you write with a
situation that you're in and you just need a little
advice and direction, we love them all, and today we
wanted to share some of them with you on Hey
It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma. Says Hello, Delilah. I was
hoping to get advice from you. Lately, I've lost my
(00:47):
motivation to keep my relationship going. I've been with my
hard working man for thirteen years. We have two kids,
home with some land, and we just got married six
months ago. We probably look pretty happy, but the weight
of carrying the relationship is feeling very heavy. My husband
(01:09):
makes the money and occasionally we'll do some maintenance type chores,
but for all other aspects of life, our home, our kids,
our schedules, shopping, cooking activities, et cetera. Everything falls to me.
It's an age old dilemma, I know, and I wish
I'd recognized it. Sooner, But now that we're here, is
(01:32):
there any escape? I just don't know what to do?
Please give me some words of advice. From overwhelmed Overwhelmed,
I will have my Mama Delilah words of advice coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from overwhelmed. A mom,
(01:56):
a stay at home mom that is feeling very lonely
in her relationship of thirteen years and asking if if
I have any words of advice because she feels like
giving up, she says, She asks, is there any escape? Honey?
You don't need an escape. You need a date with
(02:18):
your husband. I guess you could call that an escape.
You need to talk to your folks or his folks,
or your sister or whoever, and have somebody step in
and take care of the house and the dogs and
the cats and the kids for a weekend or even
just one night that you can get away and connect
(02:39):
heart to heart. He's so busy working, he comes home
tired and probably plops down and doesn't engage much. And
you're so busy running the house, taking care of the kids,
taking care of the land, taking care of blah blah
blah blah blah, that you haven't made time to take
care of the relationship. It is an age old dilemma.
(03:02):
And there are so many, so many men and women
who have called me or written me over the years
who are overwhelmed, and you need time to rekindle, to
stoke the fires of your marriage, of your relationship. You
(03:23):
also need to reframe things. You have the opportunities that
most people don't have, and when you look at it
that way and you find the gratitude for that, it
changes everything. So make a date. See if you can
spend some time reconnecting heart to heart and recognize how
(03:49):
blessed you are, and then pay somebody to come twice
a month and clean your house. That'll make a huge
difference if you got somebody else grubbing toilets and Florida
as I kids do. Not. Before I share Tonight's Delilah's dilemma,
(04:10):
please understand, I am not a doctor. I am not
a therapist. I'm not a counselor. I'm a mama, a
mama bear. I've been around the block three times, maybe four.
But any insight I share is not clinical and it
is I'm not a licensed professional. Okay, I just want
(04:31):
to say that before I read this letter. Tonight's letter
is from Eleana, who says, I love your show. It's
given me a lot of advice through my life. I'm
twenty two and struggling with anxiety and depression. I had
my son, who means the world to me when I
was eighteen, then lost my baby daughter in twenty twenty
(04:51):
when I was nineteen. Now I cannot have any more children.
I love my family, but sometimes I feel lost and
I can't find my way through the pain and sadness.
I've seen doctors and therapists, but that very dark cloud
is always hanging overhead. Do you have any advice from Elianna?
(05:15):
I do, and I will share it with you next.
Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a twenty two year old
who says she is struggling with anxiety and depression. Eliana,
you are struggling, honey, with grief, overwhelming grief. You have
(05:42):
lost a child, a baby, and you say you cannot
have any more children naturally. So that's another huge loss
for somebody so very young. This is overwhelming heartbreak, making grief,
(06:02):
and our society doesn't usually allow people to grieve, especially
young people, especially young people your age who have suffered
the loss of a child. People will say the dumbest things,
and that only compounds and complicates the grief. You don't
(06:26):
want to hear that the baby you lost is a
little angel watching over you in heaven. You don't want
to hear oh you're young, blah blah blah blah blah.
You want to hear your baby's laughter, and you can't
because they're in heaven. At least in my belief system,
my children are in heaven. So what you are trying
(06:48):
to stand up under is grief that is so heavy.
It's weighing you down in an enormous way. So understand
that and give yourself permission to grieve and cry your tears.
(07:08):
But you also need to acknowledge the loss, not just
the loss of your baby, but the loss of your
ability to carry more children, because that is a huge loss.
So if I were you, I would go online and
I would find support groups. Compassionate friends comes to mind. First,
talk to people who can speak love and encouragement and
(07:31):
kindness into your young heart. Okay, Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is
from someone named Dee. She says hi to Delilah, after
thirty two years of marriage, I'm trying to find a
way to detach from my husband with love. At some
(07:56):
point I realized that all the heartache and arguments over
his behavior are just a waste of my time and energy.
He is not going to change. I don't mean to
suggest that his disrespect is okay, but at this point
in our lives, we are older, we have health issues,
and I don't want to spend the rest of my
(08:19):
days waiting or pleading for him to change. Leaving will
simply create a whole new set of problems I'm illiquipped
to deal with. While I can say and write this
with conviction, anxiety is eating me alive. Would love your
take on things from d D. I will share my
(08:40):
words of wisdom coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from somebody named d who's been with her husband over
thirty two years, married thirty two years, and he is
doing something She doesn't say what that has destruck I'm
(09:00):
going to take a stab in the dark and say
he's an alcoholic or a drug addict or both. Or
maybe it's a workaholic or a porn addict. I don't know,
but the fact that he is disrespectful to you tells
me he has addictive behaviors that he is not willing
to face or change. And at this point in your life,
(09:23):
leaving would create a whole new set of problems, especially
if you are not financially independent. So what can you do?
You can go to a support group that will teach
you how to detach with love. There are support groups
that that is one of the key elements they share
(09:44):
is how to detach with love. If the addiction is alcoholism,
the support group is called Alanon. They will help you
to process all this anger, all this rage, all this
feeling of hurt, loneliness, and how to detach with love
so that you can still have a great life, a
(10:05):
good life, a fulfilling life, a life with friends and family,
and not buy in to the other person's addiction. There
are support groups for every addictive behavior under the sun,
and now there's a lot of them online or call
in meetings. So if you can't drive yourself or get
(10:27):
to a meeting, you can find a meeting online. I
know it's possible. So find a support group, d and
find a way to live a very loving, full exciting
life without the other person having to change because, like
you said, they're probably not going to. I so hope
(10:51):
you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I
enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with you
each weekday on Hey It's Delilah. Do you Wan
Host
Delilah
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