September 6, 2023 • 10 mins
Sharing my perspective... because you asked me to! ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Come on in and make yourself at home as we
(00:22):
share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when
people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and
need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay
tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from Antonio, who says, my girlfriend and I have been
(00:43):
together four and a half years. She had moved from
New Hampshire to Ohio to be with me, and now
we have a six month old son. Some financial problems
hit us and we couldn't afford the house we were
renting any longer, so she decided that we should go
back to New Hampshire and stay with her parents until
we got back on our feet. I said, okay, Well,
(01:04):
it's been four months now and she has suddenly decided
that she does not want to move back to Ohio,
that she is happy here, even though I told her
many times I don't like New Hampshire. This is not
a place for me, and she was fine with that
until now. By the way, her family is just awful.
Her mom is always mad and mean, and so is
(01:24):
her sister. I can't stand living here. Please help me.
What should I do? I don't want to lose my son,
but I don't want to be around her family or
live in New Hampshire. What can I do? Antonio? I
will have my words for you. Coming up next, Tonight's
(01:47):
Delilah's Dilemmas from a young man named Antonio, who he
and his girlfriend have a son together, ended up moving
in with her family because of financial reasons, and now
he's miserable. So Antonio, grow up. If you are old
enough to be baby's daddy, you are old enough to
grow up and be responsible. Get a job, get your
(02:08):
own apartment or home. In this whole letter, you don't
once mention how you feel about your girlfriend. You don't
mention one word about whether you love her, whether you
cherish her. You say, I don't want to lose my son,
but I don't want to live here. How about your girlfriend?
Do you want to lose her? If you love her,
it shouldn't matter whether you live in Ohio New Hampshire.
(02:31):
When you love somebody you want to be with them
above all else. If you loved your girlfriend and your son,
you would say, ah, even though I don't like this area,
I will do whatever it takes to keep my family together. Now,
if living with her family is miserable, get a job
and move out. I know that's easier said than done.
(02:53):
I know that times are tough. But if you don't
like your living situations, then change them. Figure out a way.
Whether you rent an apartment with friends, whether you share
a house with another young couple, I don't know. But
if it's miserable living there with her family, if they
are negative people and you need to get away from there,
(03:15):
get a place away from there. But it seems like
your focus is on what's good for you and what
you want, and young man, that's not what life is
all about. When you committed to this young woman and
got her pregnant and built a family, what you said
was it's not about me anymore. If that's not how
(03:36):
you're feeling, then be honest about it and say I
don't want this family. I want to bug out on them,
and I'm being selfish and I want what's best for me.
Those are my somewhat harsh words, but I hope that
you hear what I'm saying, Antonio. It's not about you.
That's what sacrificial love is. Tonight's letter comes from a
(04:02):
listener who wishes to remain anonymous. She says, here's my dilemma.
I lost my mother three years ago to an accidental
drug overdose. I knew she was addicted to pain meds.
I had spoken with her about it. She agreed to
go to an outpatient clinic, and she did. Within a
month of her receiving treatment, she passed away in her sleep,
(04:23):
which was a complete shock to our entire family. We
only found out the cause of her death about three
months later. My problem is I can't forgive myself for
her dying. Why didn't I confront her earlier? Why didn't
I do more? Why didn't she know how much I
loved and needed her. Even after years have gone by,
(04:43):
I can't seem to get over this loss. I know
they say that time is supposed to heal all wounds,
but time is not helping. My mom was my best friend.
She was my world, and it feels empty without her.
My heart remains full of sadness, anger, regrets losing someone
you love is painful enough, but losing someone when you
(05:04):
feel like you could have done more to prevent it
is unimaginable. Any advice you can provide that can help
ease this pain is greatly appreciated. Please withhold my name
all right, nameless one with the broken heart. I'm going
to have my words for you coming up next. Tonight's
(05:24):
letter is from a young woman who lost her mom
to a drug overdose, and she is blaming herself for
not doing more to save her mom's life. And to
that young person, and to anyone who has lost a brother,
a sister, a family member, a friend, a husband, and
a wife to addictions, you have to get this through
(05:45):
your head. The three c's of addiction. Number one, you
didn't cause it. You didn't cause it. Number two, you
can't control another person's decisions. You can't. And number three,
you sure as that can't cure it. You cannot cure it.
(06:10):
And just like you cannot snap your fingers and bring
a person back to life, you cannot wish for a
child to be born, and just by your thinking make
it so. Neither do you have the power to save
someone's life. You don't. You did the best that you could,
(06:32):
and that's all you can do, and you have to
get to the point where you accept that that was
their path. There's an old book that says every one
of our days is numbered before a single one comes
to pass. So whether a person lives to be two
hours or two months, or two years or one hundred years,
(06:57):
their time is appointed before a single day comes to pass.
And there's nothing you can do to change that. And
once you understand that, and once you realize that there
is nothing in this world that you can do to
change another person's course, then maybe you can stop beating
(07:21):
yourself up more in the loss and find your faith again.
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is heartbreaking. Richard says. Last month, my
eight year old daughter's mother passed away unexpectedly at the
(07:41):
young age of thirty seven. My ex wife had always
kept my daughter away from me, and every time I
tried to get visitation, she was one step ahead. Hurtful
things were said about me, as well as many untruthful things.
After her passing, I reached out to my daughter and
again the legal steps of getting custody. The first day
(08:03):
I saw her was so uncomfortable. Not only had we
not seen each other for some time, but she had
suffered terribly with her mother's death. My daughter, Katie, who
is eight, remained with her mother at home, holding her
knowing God had called her home. She stayed with her
mother until a family member came to the house to
(08:25):
check on them. Despite my years of anger towards my axe,
I suddenly feel a tremendous hurt and emptiness for her.
My daughter looks just like her beautiful mamma, and I
love them both. Delilah, How can someone so young heal
from such a traumatic experience? Richard? I will have my
words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(08:55):
from a man named Richard, whose eight year old daughter
was with her mamma alone when God called her mother
home at the age of thirty seven, and he says,
how can someone so young heal from such a traumatic experience? Richard?
The best thing you can do for yourself and your
daughter is find her a good grief counselor a good
support group, people that will encourage her and love her
(09:19):
and allow her to talk about her feelings. I know
there's groups like Compassionate Friends and others that are support groups.
For the grief process, and you can keep her mother's
love alive and memory alive in every way possible so
that she still feels that connectedness to her mama. If
(09:41):
anybody out there listening has some words of encouragement or
advice for Richard, please log onto our Facebook page and
share them with him. I so hope you have enjoyed
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey,
It's Delilah Devo
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah.
Come on in and make yourself at home as we
(00:22):
share some of the most interesting dilemmas. Delilah's dilemmas when
people get themselves into a bind, into a mess, and
need a little wisdom to find their way out. Stay
tuned for that coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
from Antonio, who says, my girlfriend and I have been
(00:43):
together four and a half years. She had moved from
New Hampshire to Ohio to be with me, and now
we have a six month old son. Some financial problems
hit us and we couldn't afford the house we were
renting any longer, so she decided that we should go
back to New Hampshire and stay with her parents until
we got back on our feet. I said, okay, Well,
(01:04):
it's been four months now and she has suddenly decided
that she does not want to move back to Ohio,
that she is happy here, even though I told her
many times I don't like New Hampshire. This is not
a place for me, and she was fine with that
until now. By the way, her family is just awful.
Her mom is always mad and mean, and so is
(01:24):
her sister. I can't stand living here. Please help me.
What should I do? I don't want to lose my son,
but I don't want to be around her family or
live in New Hampshire. What can I do? Antonio? I
will have my words for you. Coming up next, Tonight's
(01:47):
Delilah's Dilemmas from a young man named Antonio, who he
and his girlfriend have a son together, ended up moving
in with her family because of financial reasons, and now
he's miserable. So Antonio, grow up. If you are old
enough to be baby's daddy, you are old enough to
grow up and be responsible. Get a job, get your
(02:08):
own apartment or home. In this whole letter, you don't
once mention how you feel about your girlfriend. You don't
mention one word about whether you love her, whether you
cherish her. You say, I don't want to lose my son,
but I don't want to live here. How about your girlfriend?
Do you want to lose her? If you love her,
it shouldn't matter whether you live in Ohio New Hampshire.
(02:31):
When you love somebody you want to be with them
above all else. If you loved your girlfriend and your son,
you would say, ah, even though I don't like this area,
I will do whatever it takes to keep my family together. Now,
if living with her family is miserable, get a job
and move out. I know that's easier said than done.
(02:53):
I know that times are tough. But if you don't
like your living situations, then change them. Figure out a way.
Whether you rent an apartment with friends, whether you share
a house with another young couple, I don't know. But
if it's miserable living there with her family, if they
are negative people and you need to get away from there,
(03:15):
get a place away from there. But it seems like
your focus is on what's good for you and what
you want, and young man, that's not what life is
all about. When you committed to this young woman and
got her pregnant and built a family, what you said
was it's not about me anymore. If that's not how
(03:36):
you're feeling, then be honest about it and say I
don't want this family. I want to bug out on them,
and I'm being selfish and I want what's best for me.
Those are my somewhat harsh words, but I hope that
you hear what I'm saying, Antonio. It's not about you.
That's what sacrificial love is. Tonight's letter comes from a
(04:02):
listener who wishes to remain anonymous. She says, here's my dilemma.
I lost my mother three years ago to an accidental
drug overdose. I knew she was addicted to pain meds.
I had spoken with her about it. She agreed to
go to an outpatient clinic, and she did. Within a
month of her receiving treatment, she passed away in her sleep,
(04:23):
which was a complete shock to our entire family. We
only found out the cause of her death about three
months later. My problem is I can't forgive myself for
her dying. Why didn't I confront her earlier? Why didn't
I do more? Why didn't she know how much I
loved and needed her. Even after years have gone by,
(04:43):
I can't seem to get over this loss. I know
they say that time is supposed to heal all wounds,
but time is not helping. My mom was my best friend.
She was my world, and it feels empty without her.
My heart remains full of sadness, anger, regrets losing someone
you love is painful enough, but losing someone when you
(05:04):
feel like you could have done more to prevent it
is unimaginable. Any advice you can provide that can help
ease this pain is greatly appreciated. Please withhold my name
all right, nameless one with the broken heart. I'm going
to have my words for you coming up next. Tonight's
(05:24):
letter is from a young woman who lost her mom
to a drug overdose, and she is blaming herself for
not doing more to save her mom's life. And to
that young person, and to anyone who has lost a brother,
a sister, a family member, a friend, a husband, and
a wife to addictions, you have to get this through
(05:45):
your head. The three c's of addiction. Number one, you
didn't cause it. You didn't cause it. Number two, you
can't control another person's decisions. You can't. And number three,
you sure as that can't cure it. You cannot cure it.
(06:10):
And just like you cannot snap your fingers and bring
a person back to life, you cannot wish for a
child to be born, and just by your thinking make
it so. Neither do you have the power to save
someone's life. You don't. You did the best that you could,
(06:32):
and that's all you can do, and you have to
get to the point where you accept that that was
their path. There's an old book that says every one
of our days is numbered before a single one comes
to pass. So whether a person lives to be two
hours or two months, or two years or one hundred years,
(06:57):
their time is appointed before a single day comes to pass.
And there's nothing you can do to change that. And
once you understand that, and once you realize that there
is nothing in this world that you can do to
change another person's course, then maybe you can stop beating
(07:21):
yourself up more in the loss and find your faith again.
Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is heartbreaking. Richard says. Last month, my
eight year old daughter's mother passed away unexpectedly at the
(07:41):
young age of thirty seven. My ex wife had always
kept my daughter away from me, and every time I
tried to get visitation, she was one step ahead. Hurtful
things were said about me, as well as many untruthful things.
After her passing, I reached out to my daughter and
again the legal steps of getting custody. The first day
(08:03):
I saw her was so uncomfortable. Not only had we
not seen each other for some time, but she had
suffered terribly with her mother's death. My daughter, Katie, who
is eight, remained with her mother at home, holding her
knowing God had called her home. She stayed with her
mother until a family member came to the house to
(08:25):
check on them. Despite my years of anger towards my axe,
I suddenly feel a tremendous hurt and emptiness for her.
My daughter looks just like her beautiful mamma, and I
love them both. Delilah, How can someone so young heal
from such a traumatic experience? Richard? I will have my
words for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
(08:55):
from a man named Richard, whose eight year old daughter
was with her mamma alone when God called her mother
home at the age of thirty seven, and he says,
how can someone so young heal from such a traumatic experience? Richard?
The best thing you can do for yourself and your
daughter is find her a good grief counselor a good
support group, people that will encourage her and love her
(09:19):
and allow her to talk about her feelings. I know
there's groups like Compassionate Friends and others that are support groups.
For the grief process, and you can keep her mother's
love alive and memory alive in every way possible so
that she still feels that connectedness to her mama. If
(09:41):
anybody out there listening has some words of encouragement or
advice for Richard, please log onto our Facebook page and
share them with him. I so hope you have enjoyed
these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey,
It's Delilah Devo
Host
Delilah
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