September 18, 2023 • 14 mins
If you can't be honest and vulnerable, or if you're pretending to be someone you're not, it's impossible to have a real relationship. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. So what did
you do today for fun? Did you spend some time
(00:22):
with someone you love? Did you spend some time encouraging someone,
sharing from the heart, talking honestly. Honesty is such a huge,
huge component of intimate relationships. When you can't be honest
(00:46):
with who you are, what you feel, what your dreams are,
or worse yet, when you're living a lie, when you're
pretending to be someone you're not, when you are only
telling half truths, you're miserable and the people around you
(01:09):
are miserable. And it's foolish because life is too short.
Life is way too short to spend it lying and
being deceitful and pretending to be something or someone you're not.
So get honest, get real, and get close to the
(01:31):
people in your life. Good evening, Welcome to the Delilah Show.
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
My god? I can't believe this. My name is Nelson.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Hi Nelson, Welcome aboard. How can I make your night
a little more joyful?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Well, I've been wanting to share my story with you
for a few years now, and I finally got through
to you. I've been listening. Well, I'm only fifty eight
years old. I've been listening to you for a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I've been around for a long time. My friend.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, but I still got God willing. I'm going to
be alone for a long, long, long time. Life is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That makes two of us pray in that prayer.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Life is beautiful. So I've been married for thirty five years.
I met what I think is the most amazing person
in my life the last six years. And I don't know.
I just wanted to share this with you to see
where your thoughts are. And I've never left my wife,
(02:35):
and I don't think I'm able able to leave her
because of the commitment I have with her. But that's
pretty much my story. I'm madly in love with someone
and you've been together now for six years, and it
gets really, really difficult. It gets very very difficult.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So you've been having an affair for six years and
your wife hasn't like thrown your butt out, No, she.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Has not, she has not. It's only we've only been
married for thirty five years, but.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
You've been married for twenty nine years. Because for the
last six years, your heart belongs to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Well, I guess I never looked at it that way.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I mean, if you're madly in love with somebody else,
your heart belongs to somebody else, No.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
When the person feels exactly the same way. I just
never had enough courage to ever leave my wife, and
I don't think I will will do that because I
don't think we'll be happy if I were to ever leave.
You know what I've created. It's just it's just it's
horrific for something like this to happen at this stage
(03:42):
of my life.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So let me ask you this, why does your wife stay?
She has to know if it's been six years that
your heart belongs to another, why does she stay?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
She does know because I don't have any any relationship
with my wife. I haven't a relationship with her for
six seven years now, but you love with her one
hundred percent. Every night I come. I was just driving home,
coming home. I go to my girlfriend's house every day
around four or five o'clock in the afternoon, and I
normal leave around this time, and I was just driving
(04:13):
home my house. I at thirty minute drive.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So your your girlfriend and your wife have an unspoken
agreement that they're going to share your affections and your time.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Don't I don't think so. My girlfriend knows that I'm married,
and my wife knows that I have something going on.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
So that's what I just said. Your girlfriend and your wife,
the two women have an unspoken agreement.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Oh and unspoken Okay, I said, neither.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
One of them have thrown your butt out. They have
an unspoken agreement that they're going to share you.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I guess that's the way of looking at it. I
guess that's the way of looking at it. I never
looked at it that way.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
In other cultures and other societies, it would be perfectly
normal for you to have two wives, But in our
society it's not.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
We're moving everybody together in my life, believe it, though
not of people think I'm crazy. But if it wouldn't
be for my children, I have two adult female daughters,
that's the only issue that I probably have.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Well, that and the fact that your wife and your
girlfriend may not want to live together. They might not
be crazy about that idea.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
No, no, So I don't know that's my story. But
I honestly I hate to even say this because I
know what I'm probably doing deep down inside? Is out right?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Right according to whom? Right according to whom? If your
wife is aware that you you love somebody else, and
if your girlfriend is aware that you are choosing to
stay with your wife, then it's not a secret.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Right, it's not a secret. It's just uh. I mean,
I feel bad, but I feel great, believe it or not.
You know, I feel bad because I have to leave
her house every single night, leaving her alone.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Why don't you tell your wife I'm gonna we're gonna
get a divorce and I'm gonna move to the woman
that I love.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I don't think I could ever do that. Why I
don't think I could ever do that. I think I
think she'll she'll never accept that, and my children will
probably create a lot of issues, and I could, I'll
probably won't even be able to live correctly.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
You know, you don't think your wife would accept that
you want to live with the woman that you're cheating
on her with. I don't think you're giving your wife
very much credit.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
No, I don't think so she'll she'll she'll never accept it.
I mean, she's we've been together too too many years,
and it's just she'll never accept it. I've been the
only man that she's ever been with. We met when
we were sixteen, seventeen, whatever age we were, and she's
never been with another man in her entire life. I
know that for a fact. She's an amazing person. But
(06:54):
I don't have the love, the sexual you know that
that touch in more with her. I haven't had it
for for I don't know, maybe ten years. But I'm
still here. I still provide whatever's needed in this household.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And do you provide for your girlfriend? Do you financially
take care of her too? I do because I want
to know how I get. I want to know how
I get a piece of this.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
If you've had in every single way, because she works
and she's got a very very good job. But when
you say provide to her, I've helped her out in many,
many occasions. But you could say I.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Do, sure, honey, I'm not. I don't want you to
think for a second that I'm judging you. I'm not.
I swear I'm not. I have been in bizarre situations
(07:52):
in the past that I never imagined myself to be in,
and I was in love with somebody that I could
not be with, so I'm not judging you, Okay, don't
think I'm judging you, because really I'm not. I'm just
trying to understand how how these two women are okay
with this.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, my girlfriend knows this is day one that I
was married day one. It was never never a secret.
I'd never hid it from her. And we thought it
was just going to be a thing, you know, do
a thing here and there, blah blah blah. The years
went on and we're going on six years now, and
that thing is still that thing. You know that the
affectionist's still there. I go to better I mean I
(08:31):
thinking about it. I wake up every day thinking about it.
We talk every single woman that we have an opportunity.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Why don't you sit down with your wife and talk
to her, because what you're doing is you're cheating your
wife out of finding real love.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
She'll never fall for anybody else.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You don't know that. You don't know that. No, you
don't know that. And if you at least have a
conversation with her, then you would give her the right
to make those decisions. Don't you think she deserves somebody
waking up and thinking about her and going to sleep
and thinking about her. And spending every waking minute texting her.
(09:11):
She deserves that kind of joy.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I could never do that. I could never, never, never
tell her that I'm to leave her for another woman.
I could never, never, never do that. We have too
much history, especially when we were younger, and she's done
a lot for me and I this just happened. If
this is something that just happened in my heart, I know.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But if you love your wife, and it sounds like
you love her very very much, you need to love
her enough to let her have the kind of intense
joy that you're having, And at least if you have
the conversation, she will be able to make the decision.
Right now, you're making the decision for her. But if
(09:53):
you sit down and have an honest, open conversation, lay
all your cards on the table, and tell her exactly
how you feel about the other woman, then your wife
will get to decide. Do I want to stay for
memory's sake and put up with only getting you know,
a little dreadge of his affection, or do I want
(10:17):
to try to find love again. I mean, I'm guessing
she's probably close to your age. She's still got thirty
years you both have at least thirty more years on
this planet.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I don't think I could ever do that. You know,
I don't think my children will ever forgive me, and
they know, they know that something is up. They're not stupid,
they're adults. I have a twenty eight year old and
a thirty three year old. They're both girls, and one
of them lives with me at home, So I don't
think they'll ever forgive me.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
You know, well, I think you owe it to the
people that you love, because I can tell you love
all these people. I think you owe it to them
to be honest.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So what do you do? I mean, I could never
do that. I don't think I could ever ever ever
do that. Is there any other option? Do I have
another option? Because the worst thing that's going to happen
to me is that my girlfriend's going to find someone
that's not married that's able to sleep with her every night.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
And that's now the worst thing that's going to happen
to you is people are going to say, you know what,
he did not have the integrity to be honest with me,
And that's the worst thing that can happen. You sound
like a very loving man, but you need to have integrity.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
You've got a heart of gold. You know. You don't
even you can't imagine the heart that I have you
And you don't understand that I do in the troubles
and the things that I go through because of this.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Oh, trust me, I do. Like I said, I was
in a situation.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I promise you. You don't. I promise you. You don't
understand it. It's so difficult at times. I mean, every
day that goes by, I hate leaving. I don't. I
cannot stand leaving the house. Come home and you know,
and just I don't know, sit in like gosh for
a few minutes and just go to bed, and I said,
and wake up the following day eager to go out
and do my work and then go see, you know,
(12:07):
spend time with her. But we'll see, I mean, I
don't know. We'll see what happens. I guess, and I
don't know. I figured that I did. I share my
story with someone, you know, someone special like you, because
you you saw like a very very special individual.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Well, believe it or not, everybody thinks I sound like this,
this queen, this this angel, this perfect person. But I've
been in your girlfriend's situation, and I know how bad.
It sucks, and I just my girlfriend or my wife,
your girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, And I know she loves me. I know she
loves me too. You know. It's like me starting over again.
She's got two children, you know, and I take care
of them like her father there. And her husband passed
away and left too beautiful beautiful children behind, and and
I know that he never gave her half of the
things that I'm giving to them now. And that's part
(13:06):
of the whole story too. She's got two beautiful, beautiful
little girls that I adore. Gary. I saw one of
them when they were when she was three, the other
one was seven, and now they weren't. They're eight or nine,
and the other one's like thirteen going on fourteen, you know.
And they don't call me daddy or anything like that.
They call me by my name, which is understandable they don't,
(13:28):
but they know that I'm there for them, you know.
They call me from school if something's wrong, I pick
them up, you know, and things of that nature. That
they see me as a father image because they don't
have a father.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You owe it to the people that you love, to
be honest, that's all I'm saying. You owe it to
the people that you love. To be honest, all right,
I'm going to play a song for you. God. Bless you, honey,
good luck, love you, love you luck.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Okay, thank you for taking my car. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah del
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. So what did
you do today for fun? Did you spend some time
(00:22):
with someone you love? Did you spend some time encouraging someone,
sharing from the heart, talking honestly. Honesty is such a huge,
huge component of intimate relationships. When you can't be honest
(00:46):
with who you are, what you feel, what your dreams are,
or worse yet, when you're living a lie, when you're
pretending to be someone you're not, when you are only
telling half truths, you're miserable and the people around you
(01:09):
are miserable. And it's foolish because life is too short.
Life is way too short to spend it lying and
being deceitful and pretending to be something or someone you're not.
So get honest, get real, and get close to the
(01:31):
people in your life. Good evening, Welcome to the Delilah Show.
Who's this?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
My god? I can't believe this. My name is Nelson.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Hi Nelson, Welcome aboard. How can I make your night
a little more joyful?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Well, I've been wanting to share my story with you
for a few years now, and I finally got through
to you. I've been listening. Well, I'm only fifty eight
years old. I've been listening to you for a long time.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I've been around for a long time. My friend.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, but I still got God willing. I'm going to
be alone for a long, long, long time. Life is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
That makes two of us pray in that prayer.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Life is beautiful. So I've been married for thirty five years.
I met what I think is the most amazing person
in my life the last six years. And I don't know.
I just wanted to share this with you to see
where your thoughts are. And I've never left my wife,
(02:35):
and I don't think I'm able able to leave her
because of the commitment I have with her. But that's
pretty much my story. I'm madly in love with someone
and you've been together now for six years, and it
gets really, really difficult. It gets very very difficult.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So you've been having an affair for six years and
your wife hasn't like thrown your butt out, No, she.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Has not, she has not. It's only we've only been
married for thirty five years, but.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
You've been married for twenty nine years. Because for the
last six years, your heart belongs to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Well, I guess I never looked at it that way.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I mean, if you're madly in love with somebody else,
your heart belongs to somebody else, No.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
When the person feels exactly the same way. I just
never had enough courage to ever leave my wife, and
I don't think I will will do that because I
don't think we'll be happy if I were to ever leave.
You know what I've created. It's just it's just it's
horrific for something like this to happen at this stage
(03:42):
of my life.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
So let me ask you this, why does your wife stay?
She has to know if it's been six years that
your heart belongs to another, why does she stay?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
She does know because I don't have any any relationship
with my wife. I haven't a relationship with her for
six seven years now, but you love with her one
hundred percent. Every night I come. I was just driving home,
coming home. I go to my girlfriend's house every day
around four or five o'clock in the afternoon, and I
normal leave around this time, and I was just driving
(04:13):
home my house. I at thirty minute drive.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
So your your girlfriend and your wife have an unspoken
agreement that they're going to share your affections and your time.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Don't I don't think so. My girlfriend knows that I'm married,
and my wife knows that I have something going on.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
So that's what I just said. Your girlfriend and your wife,
the two women have an unspoken agreement.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Oh and unspoken Okay, I said, neither.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
One of them have thrown your butt out. They have
an unspoken agreement that they're going to share you.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I guess that's the way of looking at it. I
guess that's the way of looking at it. I never
looked at it that way.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
In other cultures and other societies, it would be perfectly
normal for you to have two wives, But in our
society it's not.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
We're moving everybody together in my life, believe it, though
not of people think I'm crazy. But if it wouldn't
be for my children, I have two adult female daughters,
that's the only issue that I probably have.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Well, that and the fact that your wife and your
girlfriend may not want to live together. They might not
be crazy about that idea.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
No, no, So I don't know that's my story. But
I honestly I hate to even say this because I
know what I'm probably doing deep down inside? Is out right?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Right according to whom? Right according to whom? If your
wife is aware that you you love somebody else, and
if your girlfriend is aware that you are choosing to
stay with your wife, then it's not a secret.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Right, it's not a secret. It's just uh. I mean,
I feel bad, but I feel great, believe it or not.
You know, I feel bad because I have to leave
her house every single night, leaving her alone.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Why don't you tell your wife I'm gonna we're gonna
get a divorce and I'm gonna move to the woman
that I love.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
I don't think I could ever do that. Why I
don't think I could ever do that. I think I
think she'll she'll never accept that, and my children will
probably create a lot of issues, and I could, I'll
probably won't even be able to live correctly.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
You know, you don't think your wife would accept that
you want to live with the woman that you're cheating
on her with. I don't think you're giving your wife
very much credit.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
No, I don't think so she'll she'll she'll never accept it.
I mean, she's we've been together too too many years,
and it's just she'll never accept it. I've been the
only man that she's ever been with. We met when
we were sixteen, seventeen, whatever age we were, and she's
never been with another man in her entire life. I
know that for a fact. She's an amazing person. But
(06:54):
I don't have the love, the sexual you know that
that touch in more with her. I haven't had it
for for I don't know, maybe ten years. But I'm
still here. I still provide whatever's needed in this household.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And do you provide for your girlfriend? Do you financially
take care of her too? I do because I want
to know how I get. I want to know how
I get a piece of this.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
If you've had in every single way, because she works
and she's got a very very good job. But when
you say provide to her, I've helped her out in many,
many occasions. But you could say I.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Do, sure, honey, I'm not. I don't want you to
think for a second that I'm judging you. I'm not.
I swear I'm not. I have been in bizarre situations
(07:52):
in the past that I never imagined myself to be in,
and I was in love with somebody that I could
not be with, so I'm not judging you, Okay, don't
think I'm judging you, because really I'm not. I'm just
trying to understand how how these two women are okay
with this.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, my girlfriend knows this is day one that I
was married day one. It was never never a secret.
I'd never hid it from her. And we thought it
was just going to be a thing, you know, do
a thing here and there, blah blah blah. The years
went on and we're going on six years now, and
that thing is still that thing. You know that the
affectionist's still there. I go to better I mean I
(08:31):
thinking about it. I wake up every day thinking about it.
We talk every single woman that we have an opportunity.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Why don't you sit down with your wife and talk
to her, because what you're doing is you're cheating your
wife out of finding real love.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
She'll never fall for anybody else.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
You don't know that. You don't know that. No, you
don't know that. And if you at least have a
conversation with her, then you would give her the right
to make those decisions. Don't you think she deserves somebody
waking up and thinking about her and going to sleep
and thinking about her. And spending every waking minute texting her.
(09:11):
She deserves that kind of joy.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I could never do that. I could never, never, never
tell her that I'm to leave her for another woman.
I could never, never, never do that. We have too
much history, especially when we were younger, and she's done
a lot for me and I this just happened. If
this is something that just happened in my heart, I know.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But if you love your wife, and it sounds like
you love her very very much, you need to love
her enough to let her have the kind of intense
joy that you're having, And at least if you have
the conversation, she will be able to make the decision.
Right now, you're making the decision for her. But if
(09:53):
you sit down and have an honest, open conversation, lay
all your cards on the table, and tell her exactly
how you feel about the other woman, then your wife
will get to decide. Do I want to stay for
memory's sake and put up with only getting you know,
a little dreadge of his affection, or do I want
(10:17):
to try to find love again. I mean, I'm guessing
she's probably close to your age. She's still got thirty
years you both have at least thirty more years on
this planet.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I don't think I could ever do that. You know,
I don't think my children will ever forgive me, and
they know, they know that something is up. They're not stupid,
they're adults. I have a twenty eight year old and
a thirty three year old. They're both girls, and one
of them lives with me at home, So I don't
think they'll ever forgive me.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
You know, well, I think you owe it to the
people that you love, because I can tell you love
all these people. I think you owe it to them
to be honest.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
So what do you do? I mean, I could never
do that. I don't think I could ever ever ever
do that. Is there any other option? Do I have
another option? Because the worst thing that's going to happen
to me is that my girlfriend's going to find someone
that's not married that's able to sleep with her every night.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
And that's now the worst thing that's going to happen
to you is people are going to say, you know what,
he did not have the integrity to be honest with me,
And that's the worst thing that can happen. You sound
like a very loving man, but you need to have integrity.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
You've got a heart of gold. You know. You don't
even you can't imagine the heart that I have you
And you don't understand that I do in the troubles
and the things that I go through because of this.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Oh, trust me, I do. Like I said, I was
in a situation.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
I promise you. You don't. I promise you. You don't
understand it. It's so difficult at times. I mean, every
day that goes by, I hate leaving. I don't. I
cannot stand leaving the house. Come home and you know,
and just I don't know, sit in like gosh for
a few minutes and just go to bed, and I said,
and wake up the following day eager to go out
and do my work and then go see, you know,
(12:07):
spend time with her. But we'll see, I mean, I
don't know. We'll see what happens. I guess, and I
don't know. I figured that I did. I share my
story with someone, you know, someone special like you, because
you you saw like a very very special individual.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Well, believe it or not, everybody thinks I sound like this,
this queen, this this angel, this perfect person. But I've
been in your girlfriend's situation, and I know how bad.
It sucks, and I just my girlfriend or my wife,
your girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, And I know she loves me. I know she
loves me too. You know. It's like me starting over again.
She's got two children, you know, and I take care
of them like her father there. And her husband passed
away and left too beautiful beautiful children behind, and and
I know that he never gave her half of the
things that I'm giving to them now. And that's part
(13:06):
of the whole story too. She's got two beautiful, beautiful
little girls that I adore. Gary. I saw one of
them when they were when she was three, the other
one was seven, and now they weren't. They're eight or nine,
and the other one's like thirteen going on fourteen, you know.
And they don't call me daddy or anything like that.
They call me by my name, which is understandable they don't,
(13:28):
but they know that I'm there for them, you know.
They call me from school if something's wrong, I pick
them up, you know, and things of that nature. That
they see me as a father image because they don't
have a father.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
You owe it to the people that you love, to
be honest, that's all I'm saying. You owe it to
the people that you love. To be honest, all right,
I'm going to play a song for you. God. Bless you, honey,
good luck, love you, love you luck.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Okay, thank you for taking my car. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday on Hey It's Delilah del
Host
Delilah
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