September 21, 2023 • 8 mins
That's never a good phrase to hear or speak. It usually means something is terribly wrong in the relationship. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Do Hey, it's Delilah.
Thank you for being here. I got a call the
(00:22):
other night from somebody whose girlfriend said I need space.
Have you ever been in a relationship with somebody that
said I need space? I've actually said that in the past,
and it was never good when I said that. Let's
see how he's handling that conversation. Hi, good evening, you've
(00:47):
called the Delilah Show. Who is this?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hey, Delilah, this is Ryan. How are you Ryan?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I am wonderful. How are you? As the question, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Good, I'm good, I'm not bad. I'm surviving.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
What can I do for you tonight?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Well, I listened to you a lot, as everybody else
who calls in does, and I'm kind of going through it.
I've been apart from my former significant other for going
on almost about a month and a half and we
haven't spoke as long as we've ever gone in two years.
Two and a half years without speaking for coming up
(01:25):
on exactly a month of note no speaking, no seeing
each other. And you know, Chris was calling for maybe
some advice and just to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I guess, okay, So why are you in the ex
not even speaking?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Why are we taking this time out? Is it over?
Have we broken up? Or is this? Uh?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yes, we have.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
My fault.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I've got some serious commitment issues which we all knew
we knew about, but I've kind of I've accepted it
and trying to work on it and become better, which
I've been working on extreme over the past months and two.
But these were her wishes to kind of have no
contact and give her as much space as she couldn't
(02:09):
she could use.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
So are you hoping to put it back together? Or
is it over?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No? So badly, I want nothing more than to keep
admitting my faults and show her that I'm trying to
do my best, that I can accept whatever commitment issues
I might have had and look past them. And I
want nothing more than to build an actual future with her.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
And how long were you together before you took this
time apart?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Two years?
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So what happened that you just said I can't commit
to you?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It kept getting more serious and I've never had that before.
I know, I sound like I'm fourteen, I'm actually thirty,
I know it. I have never had that before, and
it was very scary, and he was very sure about
her feeling and knew I was the one and that
just scared me.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
So if you cannot put it back together, if she's
just not going to go there again, have you learned
a pretty valuable lesson?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah? Absolutely, I mean, don't don't let my pass slash
whatever trauma I might have had as a younger adult
affect my future, and it'd be a lot scarier, which
I learned, to lose that person than to, you know,
try it and find out it wasn't going to be right.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
But what do you consider right? I mean, when you
when you commit to somebody and you say you're my person,
you're the person I want to be with. What's scary
about that?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
That's that's what I needed to take that time to
figure out.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Okay, I'm asking you what what is scary about that?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Well, for me, it was it was the trust. Do
I believe that they actually mean that? And then for
me it was it was I've never felt or understood
what forever was. I've been surrounded by failed marriages unfortunately
growing up, so it sucks to see that and then
kind of the only experience I have is you're going
(04:29):
to end up presenting each other at some point so forever.
It seems like a very scary concept.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Wow, that's gotta that's gotta suck. When your heart desires
love and you desire intimacy and partnerships and coupling and
at the same time you're deathly afraid of intimacy and coupling, it's.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Really it's really kind of what you just said, it
was nothing but fear. And when you take that step
back and you I don't have that person. Not that
it took losing them, but it did take not having
them to go and seek whatever guidance I needed and
help I needed to kind of bring everything out that
I was afraid to talk about and admit, and you know,
(05:14):
do that researching myself to know, Hey, man, like you
got to accept what happened happened, and you can't control that,
but it shouldn't control you.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, it's it sounds like if she doesn't want any
contact with you, that she doesn't want any contact with you. Yeah,
I don't. I know people who take a break for
a day or two, but I've never heard of anybody
that takes a break for months without any contact. Dang, well,
(05:43):
I mean she might surprise you.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Hopefully now you have. Hopefully, now you have. Yeah, she's
a unique breed of woman. She's definitely rare, which is
a good thing. That's exactly why I was so into
her still am. But yeah, she requested that space, and
she said I need to work on me, she needs
to work on her, and you know, there is no
fixing things right away, which I completely understood. So I've
(06:07):
been doing my best to just give her as much
space as I can.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah. For in my past, when somebody said, or especially
when I said, I need space away from you, and man,
I need space away from you, it didn't mean I
need space away from you for a minute. Yeah, So
hopefully she's gotten the space. Yeah, and hopefully she'll she'll
(06:35):
see the changes that you've made and you guys can
put things back together. I hope you call me back
with good news.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah, I hope I can be the first one to
let you know that after a month apart, we rekindle
things and we're ready to start hopefully building future.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Good luck, my friend, good luck, God bless you. You
got any other advice, h just be as emotionally available
as you can possibly be, if not with this person,
with whoever God brings into your life. And don't be anxious,
be anxious for nothing. Just give your heart and glorify
(07:13):
and all the goodness you can. That's my best advice.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Yeah, don't be afraid of love.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Don't be afraid of love because without it, life really sucks.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, no, it does, it does, it does, and it's
worse to know it's my own doing.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, you know what you didn't know what you didn't know,
So don't beat yourself up exactly. Just don't make the
same mistake again. Yeah, correct, correct, correct, all right, I
will not good night.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I will not nice. Finally talking to you, good night.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Oh bye. I so hope you have enjoyed these radio
moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's
Delilah n hy
Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Do Hey, it's Delilah.
Thank you for being here. I got a call the
(00:22):
other night from somebody whose girlfriend said I need space.
Have you ever been in a relationship with somebody that
said I need space? I've actually said that in the past,
and it was never good when I said that. Let's
see how he's handling that conversation. Hi, good evening, you've
(00:47):
called the Delilah Show. Who is this?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Hey, Delilah, this is Ryan. How are you Ryan?
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I am wonderful. How are you? As the question, I'm.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Good, I'm good, I'm not bad. I'm surviving.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
What can I do for you tonight?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Well, I listened to you a lot, as everybody else
who calls in does, and I'm kind of going through it.
I've been apart from my former significant other for going
on almost about a month and a half and we
haven't spoke as long as we've ever gone in two years.
Two and a half years without speaking for coming up
(01:25):
on exactly a month of note no speaking, no seeing
each other. And you know, Chris was calling for maybe
some advice and just to talk about it.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I guess, okay, So why are you in the ex
not even speaking?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Why are we taking this time out? Is it over?
Have we broken up? Or is this? Uh?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yes, we have.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
My fault.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I've got some serious commitment issues which we all knew
we knew about, but I've kind of I've accepted it
and trying to work on it and become better, which
I've been working on extreme over the past months and two.
But these were her wishes to kind of have no
contact and give her as much space as she couldn't
(02:09):
she could use.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
So are you hoping to put it back together? Or
is it over?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
No? So badly, I want nothing more than to keep
admitting my faults and show her that I'm trying to
do my best, that I can accept whatever commitment issues
I might have had and look past them. And I
want nothing more than to build an actual future with her.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
And how long were you together before you took this
time apart?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Two years?
Speaker 1 (02:41):
So what happened that you just said I can't commit
to you?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
It kept getting more serious and I've never had that before.
I know, I sound like I'm fourteen, I'm actually thirty,
I know it. I have never had that before, and
it was very scary, and he was very sure about
her feeling and knew I was the one and that
just scared me.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
So if you cannot put it back together, if she's
just not going to go there again, have you learned
a pretty valuable lesson?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah? Absolutely, I mean, don't don't let my pass slash
whatever trauma I might have had as a younger adult
affect my future, and it'd be a lot scarier, which
I learned, to lose that person than to, you know,
try it and find out it wasn't going to be right.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
But what do you consider right? I mean, when you
when you commit to somebody and you say you're my person,
you're the person I want to be with. What's scary
about that?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
That's that's what I needed to take that time to
figure out.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Okay, I'm asking you what what is scary about that?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Well, for me, it was it was the trust. Do
I believe that they actually mean that? And then for
me it was it was I've never felt or understood
what forever was. I've been surrounded by failed marriages unfortunately
growing up, so it sucks to see that and then
kind of the only experience I have is you're going
(04:29):
to end up presenting each other at some point so forever.
It seems like a very scary concept.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Wow, that's gotta that's gotta suck. When your heart desires
love and you desire intimacy and partnerships and coupling and
at the same time you're deathly afraid of intimacy and coupling, it's.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Really it's really kind of what you just said, it
was nothing but fear. And when you take that step
back and you I don't have that person. Not that
it took losing them, but it did take not having
them to go and seek whatever guidance I needed and
help I needed to kind of bring everything out that
I was afraid to talk about and admit, and you know,
(05:14):
do that researching myself to know, Hey, man, like you
got to accept what happened happened, and you can't control that,
but it shouldn't control you.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, it's it sounds like if she doesn't want any
contact with you, that she doesn't want any contact with you. Yeah,
I don't. I know people who take a break for
a day or two, but I've never heard of anybody
that takes a break for months without any contact. Dang, well,
(05:43):
I mean she might surprise you.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Hopefully now you have. Hopefully, now you have. Yeah, she's
a unique breed of woman. She's definitely rare, which is
a good thing. That's exactly why I was so into
her still am. But yeah, she requested that space, and
she said I need to work on me, she needs
to work on her, and you know, there is no
fixing things right away, which I completely understood. So I've
(06:07):
been doing my best to just give her as much
space as I can.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah. For in my past, when somebody said, or especially
when I said, I need space away from you, and man,
I need space away from you, it didn't mean I
need space away from you for a minute. Yeah, So
hopefully she's gotten the space. Yeah, and hopefully she'll she'll
(06:35):
see the changes that you've made and you guys can
put things back together. I hope you call me back
with good news.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Yeah, I hope I can be the first one to
let you know that after a month apart, we rekindle
things and we're ready to start hopefully building future.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Good luck, my friend, good luck, God bless you. You
got any other advice, h just be as emotionally available
as you can possibly be, if not with this person,
with whoever God brings into your life. And don't be anxious,
be anxious for nothing. Just give your heart and glorify
(07:13):
and all the goodness you can. That's my best advice.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Yeah, don't be afraid of love.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Don't be afraid of love because without it, life really sucks.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, no, it does, it does, it does, and it's
worse to know it's my own doing.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Well, you know what you didn't know what you didn't know,
So don't beat yourself up exactly. Just don't make the
same mistake again. Yeah, correct, correct, correct, all right, I
will not good night.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
I will not nice. Finally talking to you, good night.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Oh bye. I so hope you have enjoyed these radio
moments as much as I enjoy bringing them to you.
I'll share more with you each weekday on Hey It's
Delilah n hy
Host
Delilah
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