Ask Uncut AFTERMATH!!!

We know, we know, we’ve LEFT YOU HANGING FOR THIS ONE!

We discuss so many of your deep, dark and dirty dilemmas and we always wonder “what happened next?”

Today we are sharing the aftermaths of 6 of our favourite ask uncut questions!

We are diving into:

• He’s pretending his cheating never happened
• My husband is on a gay dating app
• My partner dumped me for someone else and wants to come back
• I’ve been holding in my farts and I am in PAIN but I don’t know want to break the romance
• My husband doesn’t want me wearing g strings
• My partner doesn’t want me doing a nudie swim

If we have answered your question, we would REALLY love to hear the follow up! Please send them in to us in our instagram DMs or you can email us at [e-mail]!

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
I'm Laura, I'm missus Segres.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yes, okay, look, this is a rogue af episode. Firstly,
BRIT's married. Can't talk about it yet because technically where we're.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Recording this, it hasn't happened.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
She is not married yet and I don't have Maragon
have been wearing them though.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
No, we're not gonna talk about it yet. Yeah, I have,
we wearried. I'm sure you have. You have. Look, you're married.
It's happened.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
We don't know exactly what happened, but we're assuming it
all went off without a hitch.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Oh my god. We're hoping I'm married. Well, yeah you are.
Otherwise we'll make it.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
We'll make a really like dramatic edit to this episode,
if not cut a lot, but just to kind of
bring you guys up to speed.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
So I'm sure you are across parts of it.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Now.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
We've been in Bali, Brittany got married, worried.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
We are going to drop an episode tomorrow which really
fucks with the scheduling and produce a Keisha's having a kindniption,
but it's gonna be fine.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
We're gonna help. We can't wait. This is one of
the things well, sorry, Kisha, but this is one of
those things. No, this is one of those things where
it's like, we just want to get it to you,
we want to talk about it, we want to put
it out to the world. So we are I mean, guys,
it's all that crazy. We're bumping at twenty four hours.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yes, so tomorrow is like tomorrow's it says, as she
doesn't ed it.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Literally, No, I mean crashes. I mean to the life
is like, don't be too spun out. It's just a
day early.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
You can still listen to it at your regular time
on Wednesday if you want.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
It'll still be there.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
This is true.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Britt who shows up just has to do the record
and then goes home, goes it's going to be fine.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Guy, just one day earlier, will we find it? Edit?
Both of you?

Speaker 5 (01:43):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Maybe I released it on an only fans like paywall
make some bank no too much.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Well, if you want to watch this YouTube, brit is
also naked doing this as well, so that's really gonna
don't have a bra on guy, Rocket the engagement No, okay,
look to be serious though, Britt got married in Bali.
We are going to talk about it on tomorrow's episode
because that will not be a pre record technically in
the world of like the actual world of timing. This
being a Monday, we're going to record that episode today

(02:09):
because we've just gotten back to Sydney and we want
to get it to you as quickly as possible, So
the schedule will be a little bit out of whack tomorrow.
But we thought since everything is all happening all at once,
we would also treat you to the thing that we
have been teasing for dount two and a half years,
Ask gun Cut Aftermath, proudly brought to you finally by

(02:31):
Life on Cut.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
All.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Look to be honest, You guys have been asking for
an aftermath for so long, and we have been asking
you for an aftermath. This is a two way relationship.
We feel so deeply privileged that over the last six
years we have received and I mean thousands upon thousands
of ask Guncut questions, like we receive questions every single day,
sometimes in the hundreds, and it is such a privilege

(02:55):
that you all share with us so much about what's
happening in your life, and that we are able to
be there for the big sister advice for so many
of you that the Life Uncut discussion group on Facebook
has been such a place for anonymous conversations around different
askun cuts. We really like, we cannot overstate how much
of a privilege that is. It's something that's always been

(03:15):
the missing link of the puzzle, or the missing piece
of the puzzle, is.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
What the fuck happens? Yeah? Is that so many of you?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
I mean, and I understand, like you've got shit going
on in your lives. You've got these problems to sort out,
and we don't always get the aftermath. We don't always
know what's happened. But recently Sherry has come on board.
So Sherry is BRIT's sister. She's working across the admin
side of Life on Cut, and she is actively reaching
out to people's whose questions we've answered and asking them
for an update on like where their life is at.

(03:42):
What happened off the back of these questions that we've
all been sitting thinking, like, oh my god, what happened
to that person? In particular, I'm desperate to know what
happened to the person who was in the threesome.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
And then there was a baby, and we don't know.
We don't have the answer to that question, but I
wish Yeah, should we just get into it? Yes.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
So this is the ask cut aftermath that you've all
been asking for, and we are so thrilled to be
able to finally bring it to you and the fact
that we now have so many of them coming in.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
This is going to be a really fun one for
you guys to go and watch on YouTube as well,
because we're gonna put it all up and we do
flash back to when the questions were originally asked. The
funniest thing about this is if you guys know me
well and you've been following along, this is like that
really like really tight little insight into my life every question.
I have a different hair color like every question, and
I thought, wow, how what was happening to me? I

(04:30):
don't remember being in that style of clothing. Is a
different version of herself. I honestly think it. I loved it.
I was like, who was she that day?

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Was like what mental breakdown was Britney having? Because it's
always akin to what's going on in your personal life.
So it's like short hair, long hair, orange red brown,
black bob stick in fringe and like ringe, I just
I really maybe one day we could like sit down
and do the graph of it and figure out, like
what was happening in the life of Brittany Hockley when
she went and had a dramatic haircut. So it'll be like,

(05:00):
make up something happened at work, you know, somebody, wake up,
something happened at work. It's funny that I loved. No,
I only had one breakup.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Unfortunately, there was a few in there, but there were
just ones we didn't talk about. Yeah, well not yeah,
there's a situation.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
Situationships, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, sometimes they hurt the most.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Well, what I think is funny when I watched this
back in preparation of this episode, every hair color and
cut that I had in the moment I really loved.
But then when I watched it back, I was like,
why did I do that? I was like, do you
know what I mean? Like at the time of my life,
I was like, guys, new heir, who is? And I
loved it? And now I'm looking back and I was like,
that was an unusual choice.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I want to be honest with you, there is a
day that will come where you will feel that way
about the fringe. I just want you guys to know
I strongly disagree how much you hate the fffin.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
Okay, sorry, I'm not going to stop wearing Singe.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Well, look, the way that we're going to run this
today is that we're going to play for you the
original ask guncut question. We're going to read to you
the response that we've received from our anonymous listener, our lifer,
and then we're gonna have a discussion off the back.
So rock and roll on question Numblevland. My boyfriend's best
friend has a great partner and three kids who have
become a big part of our life. We always saw

(06:09):
them as the perfect family until two months ago when
we found out that he's been cheating for over a
year and got a girl pregnant. Of course, pregante Jesus.
His partner was the one who told us and asked
us not to say anything. She is a very proud
person and was obviously a mess. I supported her and
of course trying to say all the right things. But

(06:31):
nearly three months later, she's just still with him, seemingly
in denial, while he acts like nothing happened. My boyfriend
and I are struggling with all the lies as he
used their friendship to cover his tracks multiple times. Do
I keep being friends with them and pretend this didn't
cause so much hurt? I'm worried we will lose these
kids because we have hardly seen them since all this

(06:52):
has happened. I think she's saying, like the connection with
the children, and we really just don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 (06:56):
Advice, please, all right? This is the aftermath the other
girl didn't go through with the pregnancy, and apparently he
has put boundaries in place now to try and build
back the trust, like checking the phones, et cetera. These
things were necessary because he still sees the other woman occasionally,
as they do have mutual friends. But I just struggle
to trust what he says, and my friend has sort

(07:17):
of started to remove herself from me. It's like she's
not wanting to talk because we are one of the
few people that know so many thoughts, and that she's
trying to block it all out as much as possible,
which I get it. It's so fair, but it is
hard to ride the wave.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
I feel so sorry for this one because no one
wins in this situation. I mean, you play the role
of being the confident and being the person that supports
your friend through literally the hardest thing that they're going
to go through in their relationship. But because there is
so much shame and embarrassment attached to it. And I'm
sure like this is what we discussed in the actual
question itself. There is so much embarrassment and probably and

(07:53):
I don't mean embarrassment about the fact that you've been
cheated on, embarrassment about staying and feeling as though that
there's going to be judgment there. So you push a
the people who might have feelings about your husband because
of all the things that you've said. And I feel
so sorry for the person who wrote this in because
at the end of the day, she's not going to
be as big a part in this kid's life, and
they're not going to be as big a friends as

(08:14):
what they once upon a time were. And all of
this is because of the behavior of this girl's husband
and the fact that he cheated on and got another
woman pregnantly.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
It's like a really really sad situation for everyone. Yeah,
and it would still be really hard for your friend
knowing that even though the pregnancy didn't continue, he still
sees her all the time.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
I can't even imagine that part of it would be
so hard to stomach.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
It's wild to me, wild to have like still said, Hey,
I cheated on you, I got someone pregnant, but she's
not having it. I still want to see those Is
that cool? You can check my phone if you want. Like,
there's a lot to that, But I guess that's not
what this is about. It is sad that she is
pulling away from you. I'm sure you can still save
that if you really want to. Like, she doesn't want
to talk about it. She knows, you know, she's still embarrassed.
She's probably not overly happy with the life choices, but

(08:58):
she's committed to them at the moment. Like, if you
wanted to repair that relationship, I believe from the outside
you could.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Yeah, but I I mean, one of the big things
we covered in this and I still feel it, and
it was that the fact that cheating affects everyone. That
doesn't just affect the people that are in that relationship,
but absolutely affects the friendships that are around it, especially
if you are the friend couple and you hold a
high moral compass or like those belief systems don't align
with you. The behavior doesn't align with you because you

(09:25):
kind of feel as though, well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Who this person is anymore.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
And like I kind of think it's very particular when
it's a situation where the two of you, like you're
a couple and you're friends with another couple, and this
other couple are going through it because you once upon
a time would have bonded over the things that you thought, Oh,
we had so many aligned values, like we got on
so well, Like we're similar people, and that's why as
couple couple friends we get along so well. When you
find out that one person has like really done the

(09:51):
wrong thing by their partner and completely betrayed them, doesn't
just portray them, it portrays the friendship too, even though
that's like very secondary. So I understand how it affects
everyone in this instance, and I I think there are
no winners in this aftermath, unfortunately.

Speaker 4 (10:04):
I also think about the woman who got pregnant, Like
I really hope she was supported throughout that process as well,
like that decision process and also the physical process of
going through a termination.

Speaker 5 (10:14):
You know, it's a careful situation for her as well.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
It really is, all right, question number two, I'm in
serious need of some advice. I can't tell anyone else,
so you guys are it. I found my husband on
a gay dating platform. I went to look up something
in Safari on his phone because mine was upstairs. This
is a normal thing to do, but it was there
when I clicked onto the app. I didn't know what

(10:37):
it was at the time, and I just moved past it,
but something made me look further into it later that evening.
I found him on this app pretty easily, and I
don't know how to approach the subject with him. Ps
The amount of married men on this platform is insane.
It's called Sniffys, which I have never heard of.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm googling it right now.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
It's called Sniffi's and it's completely anonymous unless someone recognizes
the body part posted like I did, so I'm assuming
its like neck down and if someone has a tattoo
or like piercing or there's something you.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Know, okay, So to give you context, Sniffy's is a
map based cruising app for the curious. Sniffy's emphasizes cruising
as an immersive, interactive experience, making it the hottest app
available for anyone who's not sure what cruising is cruising
is searching for a sexual partner in a public or
semi public space. It's a term that historically roots is

(11:27):
a coded way for gay men to recognize each other
and seek out sexual encounters. Something I learned is that
cruising does not mean you like going on cruise ships.

Speaker 3 (11:35):
I was impact that I learned on that episode. Everybody,
I was about to say, we all remember when Klaura.
We remember when Laura Laura. We remember when Laura announced
very like adamantly, She's like, guys, I am now a cruiser.
I call myself a born again cruiser.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
I want to say, after the back of this, ask
gun cut, I have never done so much research into Sniffy's.
If you had gone in to my Google history search,
Matt would have seen that and thought that there was
something going on, because I was like, I'm fascinated Sniffy
this Sniffy that I was all about it.

Speaker 3 (12:09):
This is an interesting response.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Look, the response to this is a tricky one, and
we have some feelings. Thanks so much for your wonderful advice.
I approached Hubby about it and he denied everything, saying
it must have been an ad off a pawn page
or something. He assured me that the profile I found
on there was somewhat else's, as he would never cheat
on me, especially with a man. He gave me his

(12:31):
phone to go through, and I swiped through the screens
and found a private messenger app that he'd paid ten
dollars for. No messages in there, but I'm sorry who
pays ten dollars for a private messaging app. I also
found a photo album app that had a password that
he apparently can't remember.

Speaker 3 (12:49):
Fuck.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
I didn't dive any further as the whole thing just
felt awkward and I already felt like I'd invaded his
privacy enough. My bones tell me that he is guilty
of something, but I'm not sure of the extent of it.
But then I've got him telling me it's all in
my head and that he loves me. Could I be
losing my mind?

Speaker 3 (13:07):
Am?

Speaker 2 (13:07):
I booked in to see a psychologist next Friday so
I can get all of this out and have some
assistance in working through the next steps. Yes, he doesn't
want to join the session as he is against therapy.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
He sounds like he's healthy.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Appreciate you all and the work that you do, your
advice and non judgmental approach is amazing.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Thanks again.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
This one for me is really hard because we don't
know the situation obviously from what she's saying. But I
hate making statements, but I do want to say it
is so highly unlikely that you clicked on a porn
ad that downloaded a dating app that signed you up
for ten dollars on your phone, Like that doesn't happen.

(13:47):
And then we have the added layer. And I'm very
conscious that this listener will highly likely be listening to this,
but I'm very conscious of using the word but he
is gaslighting you in this situation by saying like you're
crazy and like you're imagining it and whatever. And I
love you. I have no doubt he loves you. I
don't think that is a question at all. But I
do think that your husband is really dealing with some

(14:07):
stuff like these apps aren't just even if it was
downloaded to your phone accidentally, somehow it doesn't sign you
up and puts you on the dating app with your profile.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
And so there's even more to this though, like the
fact that he has a photo vault in his phone
that he just simply can't remember the password too. Like
that to me alarm bells, Okay, reset the password, then
you can do that, figure out how to get in there.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
I want to see it.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
I'm not saying that you need to hold that sort
of intervention and then like you know, you've said it
already forel awkward and that you totally invaded his privacy enough.
It is like he doesn't have to give you that
level of inclusion into his privacy. But there are enough
red flags here for you that your intuition is screaming
at you. And I am such a big believer that
if your intuition is raging, that is your internal warning

(14:53):
system telling you that something is wrong. We have said
that since day one of this podcast, and I think
that that has been a current theme in the advice
that we've given. I'm not saying you should leave your relationship.
I'm not saying that it's over. I'm not saying that
he can't come around and maybe Look, everyone is different,
you know, some people are able to move on from
situations and not know everything. I myself are someone who

(15:18):
like I need clarity, I need like a bow on
the problems, and I need to feel as though my
feelings of insanity are being validated because I know I'm
not just an insane person that creates drama for no reason.
And I dare say, with the very level question and
the very level response that you have sent in, you
are not insane either. The fact that he refuses to
do therapy because he's against therapy doesn't really show me

(15:42):
that he's working towards solving this problem. He's saying there
is no problem and the problem is you, which I
don't think fixes this at all. And I hate that
you don't have a solution to this.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
But also and I don't have a solution for you either. Unfortunately,
I don't know what you can do in this situation.
What I will, hands down say he said it's in
your head. It's not. It's physically there. You've seen it,
so we can scrap that. And I feel like you
can say that to him, babe, this is not in
my head. We obviously need to talk about it. We
do need to be hyper aware that there is something

(16:16):
huge going on with your partner internally, like he's not
admitting it. You are married, you are a man and woman.
He's on a gay dating app. You have seen him.
Of course, he's going to be defensive, like that is
always going to be his first port of call. You
are never going to have that conversation and say, hey,
I found this gay dating app and he's going to
say you got me, like our marriage is a scam

(16:37):
or whatever. Like it's never going to happen on that
first confrontation. But you do need to continue the conversation.
You said, I feel in my bones something He's not right.
You need to sit in that. But I don't know
what else to say to you, because I would normally say,
you guys need to go and speak to someone. But
if you can't physically drag someone there, if he doesn't
want to, if he says no, I don't believe in it.

(16:57):
You need to continue the conversation though.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
But you know what the really relieving thing is. Sometimes
it's not about going to therapy together. Sometimes it is
about going to therapy by yourself or going and seeing
a psychologist. Because we don't have all the information. Obviously,
we get what you guys give us. And this was
particularly a question that we got a lot of responses to.
And the thing is is going and speaking to a
therapist can either give you the tools to help fix

(17:21):
something if you're both working on it. Ultimately it can
also give you the tools to leave if that's something
that you choose to do too. But you're not going
to know that until you sit down and you really
work through it. And I think the fact that you
have made that decision because you feel so deeply uncomfortable
by where you are at in your relationship is incredible
and you should be like, genuinely, you should feel so
proud of yourself for putting those measures in place.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
And I do think you need to push a little
bit more. I wouldn't normally say this. I don't know,
but you need to push a little bit more. On
the photo album that is locked with a password. Yes, yeah,
if you've forgotten that, you just reset it.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
I just think the app thing, when can you download
an app by accident and need to face It needs
a log and it needs a pass, You need to
upload a photo.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
You need to give it details like do you know
what your data it's akin to?

Speaker 2 (18:05):
It's a kin to when And this is probably happened
to lots of people fugging opened to move. When someone
sees your boyfriend on Tinder and you're like, hey, why
are you on Tinder? We've been together for two years
and they say, Oh, it's just so weird. It's been
inactive for so long, but somehow it's just back in
the Tinder swiping atmosphere.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
It doesn't happen, guys, It's not really a photos that
you've taken.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
It's not real, I think.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
And really, maybe we haven't talked about this enough recently
or whatever. But like if a guy says that to you,
they've been on Tinder, it's not. Tinder is not just
throwing profiles out into the atmosphere.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
They're really not.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
I actually will say I've had my identity taken two
or three times on Danny as, but it's a different name.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
That's different.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
I've also had fake accounts made of me and my
name was Katinka and I liked anal Sex.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay it wasn't me, but.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
That's just not time to admit that that's different. Like
this is a safe space. Can we just call Laura
Katinka from here on in?

Speaker 2 (18:57):
No, it's different, like jazz and anal Sex a power
early according to that, I also lived in New York,
but she seemed cool.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
No, but it's different now, like all jokes aside to Katinka,
what's your name? Katinka? Take this seriously, Tinky tinker Bell.
All jokes aside. You do have to verify almost every
app now, and verification means that you have checked your
identity because too many people are stealing it. Is your
photo often taken and used as someone else, Yes, but
you cannot sign up to a complete app with your

(19:24):
photo on your phone accidentally, it doesn't happen.

Speaker 4 (19:27):
Especially photos are our public you know, like ours were
taken from our public Instagram, whereas the photo that she applied.

Speaker 5 (19:33):
Was on there was like a photo of a body
part or something.

Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, So I just I think you do need to
continue the conversation and push a little bit. And I
don't know what he's going to say up the back
of it. You might need to make some decisions on
your own. If he doesn't want to talk about it
and he doesn't want to go to therapy, there's not
a lot to do. Then you go to therapy and
get to a place that you feel comfortable with with yourself.
But for us there are some little alarm.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
It's interesting though that you push the idea of like
getting to the bottom of the photo app because I
know you would. But I have been in the situation
where my ex you cheated on me lots and lots
of times. Found loads of things in his phone. So
do you guys remember the calculator? So yeah, this was
literally how linear this was. I was laying on a
beach next to him in Bali. We were laying on

(20:14):
a beach together, and I was reading an article in
a tech magazine about how there was an app where
it appears like a calculator and once you type in
a certain equation, the equation is a code. And once
that equation has been typed in the calculator app on
the phone converts to a photovolt, So it appears to
anybody else as a normal calculator, but as soon as

(20:35):
that equation has been entered, it turns into a photovolt.
And I was reading this article and I was like,
I bet this motherfucker has that.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
I bet you he does.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
And I was like, hey, honey, can I have your
phone for a second, and he handed it to me,
flipped through. There it was the calculator app that I
had just been reading about in this magazine and I
was like, put your equation in.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
He was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (20:56):
Wouldn't give it to me? Absolutely denied, would not give
it to me. But it was plain day that that
was the photo app vault that was sitting right there,
and it was a calculator, and he would never give
it to me. And I was like, you know what,
I don't need it. I don't need to see what's
in it because I know what's in it. I know
what you're doing. I know that you know how to
get into this, and so that was enough evidence for me.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
And I think it depends on how much proof you need.

Speaker 3 (21:18):
So my advice here is we need an aftermath of
the aftermath. I need to know what you're going to
do off the back of this, because this is there's
some few big decisions that you need to make. And
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. We always
try and be non judgmental and like we try to
put ourselves in that situation, and I cannot imagine how
hard that is for you. This is your marriage, Like,
this is a really huge part of your life that

(21:40):
you're battling with. But it's really important that you figure
it out for you because it's a long time for
you to be uncertain in questioning what your marriage is,
not being able to trust your partner for them to
be gaslighting you. Like what he is saying that that's
in your head. Is so wrong to have done that
to you. But I'm sure that you're gonna unpack that
with your therapist. After math. The aftermath for us, we'd
love that.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
Sniffy is if he's guys all right?

Speaker 3 (22:01):
Good question number three. I'm sorry it's true though. If
you're on sniffy 're iffy Okay, that's the new tagline
his question number three. My partner and I were together
for two years, lived together, were speaking of marriage and
kids within the coming year. Now, eight months ago, something

(22:23):
happened randomly and my partner started pulling away. He was
just so checked out. He said he wanted to go
to barley with a mate, and when he returned, he
dumped me. Two days later. Little did I know, he
found a new girlfriend in BALI made it official and
hard launched their relationship on Instagram just two weeks later.
I was beyond heartbroken. I moved back in with my

(22:44):
parents and was the worst time of my life. Now,
fast forward eight months, he's called things off with the
new girl. He said he can't move on from me.
He still loves me, he said he has realized what
he's lost. He has massive issues, and he's willing to
do anything to fix this, including apples, counseling, and deleting
his social media in order to gain my trust back.

(23:05):
My whole family and friends hate him, and I don't
know what to do. Is it worth giving him another
go and trust that he won't break my heart again?
Or am I just risking ending up back at square one?
Has too much damage been done? Please play the responses
of this.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
We did not agree. We did not agree on this one. Okay,
I'm going to tell you what I think from reading this.
He did not find a girlfriend over in Bali. He
went to Bally he met her before Bali. He met
her here. He checked out because he had started to
have feelings with someone else. He was confused, didn't know
what he wanted. He went to Bally to be with her.

(23:41):
Decided in Bali that he was going to come home,
break up with you, and then have that relationship. I
might be wrong, but I would literally bet my left
kidney that that's what happened. You could be wrong, but
I could be wrong, but it seems all very severe
and then very instant to go to Bali and fall
in love and come back, and because two weeks to
announce you've got a new girlfriend after just breaking up

(24:02):
to me, that's like, oh, in his mind, that's been
going on for a while.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
He needed that to like solidify.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Look, it's easy to give advice when it seems so
clear cut.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Your family and your friends are right.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
I would not be giving somebody who could so easily
dispose of our life, our relationship. The fact that we
were living together, the fact that we were talking about
getting married, like you weren't just casually dating and he
was still deciding what he wanted. You had a whole
committed life together. And it was two years, which two
years is a long time when you've been in a relationship,

(24:34):
but it's not a long time for someone to turn around,
cheat on you, leave you, and then come back and say,
oh my god, I made a terrible mistake. I only
want to be with you. I would not be giving
him a second chance. I would not be giving him
the opportunity to hurt me in the way that he
has done this.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
I've got slightly different advice. Oh, I agree with everything
you said, Okay, but I think that that is the
obvious on paper answer that everyone would say, fuck him,
You're better than that. The fact is you're with him
for two years, you live together, you saw your life together.
You love him, and we know that someone can do
the wrong thing and it doesn't change the fact that
you still love him. The fact that you've written this

(25:11):
to us means it is not clear cut for you. You
don't know if you should go back, so you probably
do still have feelings. My advice would be to take
him up, not to go back to him, not to
give him anything. Take him up on the couple's counseling,
go to a session with your eyes wide open, listen
to what he has to say. You say your part,
let the therapist give their opinion. Then I would maybe

(25:34):
even have a session off the back of that alone
so you can go through things, because you've obviously got
to work through some things in your head. I think
you'll end up getting to that answer of not being together,
Like I think that's where you're going to end up.
But sometimes you need to take the harder route to
find it. Like, sometimes it's not as clear cut as
your friend's just going he's a fuck with don't go there.

(25:55):
I wish it were that easy, but it's not. I've
been in those situations. I've been with absolute time, heard
burgers who I would have tried to go back to,
because you need to get there on your own. That's
what my advice would be in this situation. Oh, I
feel so differently about this. I went back to problematic
partners many times.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Of course I did, And I wish I had had
more self confidence and I had more trust that I
was going to meet someone better, and that I had
more love and compassion for myself than the love and
compassion I had for them.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
That's the reality.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
The reason why I kept going back and going back
and going back was because I was like, they've got
bad mental health, They're in a bad space. They're the
ones who were hurting, and I wanted to fix them
and I wanted to be with them. I didn't care
about what it was doing to my mental health. I
didn't care about how it was absolutely eroding my self
confidence and my ability to make my friendships the way
my family saw me. Like it is and I think

(26:46):
a very very dangerous place for you to get into,
to go to couple's therapy with him, because it gives
him every opportunity to victimize himself in this situation. Yes,
he may be going through a bad place. He's also
going through a break up right now, right he left
you to be with someone else. He's been with that
person for eight months. He left you with the confidence

(27:08):
that that was going to be a relationship that worked out,
and now his life is in tatters and he's come
crawling back to what was safe, familiar, and who's going
to make him feel better. Oh that girl, he loves
me so much that will take me back, even if
I've been with someone else for eight months. He's trying
to fix a hole in him, right, And yeah, he's
saying he'll go to therapy, he'll do all the things,
No doubt he'll do that. I think you deserve better.

(27:29):
I think you need to have the trust and faith
in yourself that you will meet someone who you love
more than him and who treats you better than this.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
Fucking hate this guy. I hate him him, I hate him.
I hate him.

Speaker 4 (27:39):
To look on your face, Oh, it was speaking like
you just got angrier and angrier.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
You know what, because I get what you're saying, brit
I absolutely get it. Sometimes you need to go back
to learn the.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Lesson more times than not.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
You have to, But I would love to be able
to say and look at something objectively and go you
know what, You might go back. You might need to
learn that lesson, but you shouldn't have to. He has
proven already multiple times to be the person and the
version that you think he is. Everybody else can see
it for what it is. Don't subject yourself to going back.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
Yeah, but that's why I said at the start of
this that it's not black and white. It's easy to
say that we wish it was that. Psychologically it's not
that easy. We know that sometimes you have to learn
things the hard way. But I wanted to give realistic advice.
And can I say she definitely did take my advice
and she did go back and it did not turn out. Well, Well,
let me tell you, he's exactly the person I thought
he was. This it's actually wild. I ended up catching

(28:33):
up and hearing my ex out truthfully, and it's embarrassing
to admit. I started falling for it. He nearly had me.
He even started convincing my family and friends, who all
hated his guts. I was so close to giving in
when I received an anonymous message from someone from a
fake Instagram account. The message told me that my ex
had never actually ended things with the girl that he

(28:55):
cheated on me with. They were still very much in
a relationship all the while. Well, he was also sleeping
with and dating a new person he had met at
the gym. He was in two relationships with two separate girls,
and also trying to rekindle the relationship with me at
the same time. I'm actually wondering if this was my ex.
We both told him where to go, We cut him
off immediately from our lives. We have actually become friends

(29:17):
since then, because it turns out he also lied to
her about being in a relationship with me when they
met in Bali. The guy's a psychopath. Unfortunately, the third
girl he was dating has chosen to continue a relationship
with him and give him the benefit of the doubt.
Thank you so much for your amazing advice. It means
the world and it was extremely helpful. I wanted to
include that.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
I'm do lad, but also I feel really sorry for
this third girl who's just now in the vortex of
this absolute slop of a man.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Like what a pig? Do you not have a job?

Speaker 4 (29:48):
Like how the fuck do you have the time how
do you have the mental space to take on three?

Speaker 3 (29:53):
This is the thing though, Ray my ex had eight
and had one of the most intense jobs you've ever
heard of. Like, if they want to do it, it's
a control trip, they can do it it.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Also, like I think you know when you're in this
type of situation, there are so many red flags because
you never feel at ease in a way that you
do when your relationship is stable and comfortable. You always
feel like they're not accessible all the time, or like,
you know, why is their phone off or that something's
come up. Plans change, things shift, but it becomes It's

(30:23):
crazy how quickly certain behaviors become normal, and then you
give grace to it.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
Like you see the red flags.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
You know that they're not consistent with how someone should behave,
but they're consistent for that person.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
So you're like, well, it's just kind of what he's like.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
And so you start to become familiar with like a
bad pattern in a relationship and you just aren't even
aware to it.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
Anyway.

Speaker 2 (30:42):
I just want to say, I'm so glad that you're
out of this. I'm so glad that you found friendship
in the other person as well. There's something really empowering
and awesome about that. How often women are pitted against
each other. Often we can choose to hate the other
woman because they're the reason why our relationship didn't work out.
But it's so nice to know that, like, the reason
isn't her, the reason is him, And you guys had

(31:03):
that friendship.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
I have this actually where an ex of mine got
a new partner and I got this message from her Instagram.

Speaker 5 (31:10):
I knew who she was, and I got this message
from her.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
It must have been a year or a year and
a half later, and it basically was like, I've only
just found out that you exist. I think you might
be the only person in the world who actually understands
what I'm talking about, because the thing about men like
this is that some of their behavior is so insidious
and it's so gradual that when you explain it to other.

Speaker 3 (31:29):
People it's crazy, it sounds crazy.

Speaker 4 (31:31):
And the really comforting thing in talking with someone who's
experienced the same person is that you don't have to
explain it. She was saying things to me on the phone,
and I was like, oh, say less, I get you.
I so understand how that feels. This is my experience,
and she's a beautiful person and we are nice friends now,
and I doubleda her instagrams.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
All the time. I flew down when I found out
who my ex the other girl he was marrying, because
it was full two blown relationships. I flew down to her.
We were friends. We went out partying, We got so drunk,
I was vomiting out a taxi like. We had the
best time because we realized that it was neither of us.
But this is also why, like I do stand by
my advice of sorting it out for yourself sometimes because

(32:12):
if you didn't go back, you would always wonder you
still had those feelings, you still loved him. You'd be like,
what if, because he sounds like he's a mass manipulator.
He would have made you feel like maybe you made
the wrong choice. You went back, and now you know,
hands down ten times more. Like it is so easy
to cut someone off when you have this level of information,
as before he had you convinced of like, I made

(32:33):
a truly horrific mistake. You're my person. I love you.
I can understand why you have to figure this shit out.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
I agree with you. My only thing I want to
say the contradicts it a little bit. Is that this
person it is a very fortunate situation that someone anonymously
slid into her DMS that may not have happened, and
this could have gone on for years. And I don't
think that we should necessarily prioritize having every single bit

(32:58):
of evidence because it will mean you will stay in
relationships for so fucking long because you are desperate to
find the truth or to give some another chance. I
think if people show you who they are, believe it,
have the confidence in yourself to walk away. I didn't
have that, and I wasn't able to do that when
I was in my twenties, and it is my biggest
regret in my long term relationships that I didn't have

(33:19):
the fucking ability to go. You know what, Actually, I
see you for the person that you are. I'm not
going to fix this. I know how you behaved and
it is not good enough for me. And that is
the reason why I guess maybe sometimes it's hard love
that I give in my advice, and it's simply because
I wish I had done it differently.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
At the end of the day, you've figured it out.
We're stoked for you in a way. That you've moved on,
and I am hoping you're in a happy place, so
thank you for writing that. In all right, the.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Question number four is a real doozy one.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Let me tell you it's certainly not a high brow
question that we got, and it has to do with farts.

Speaker 3 (33:51):
Let's have listen to this. I've been seeing this guy
for about three months now. We're exclusive and it's going
very well. It's the first time I'm getting serious with
so the first time I've been hanging out with a
guy quite a lot, all night and all weekend. The
issue is, I'm quite a gassy person by nature.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
Same babe.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
I don't have any stomach issues. I just tend to
need to do a few pop offs after big meals
are in the morning. I also poop quite a lot too,
Same girl. Same I mean, wait, you nevers to pool
around him, and I get scared he's going to go
in after me and smell what I have just done.
I'm also holding in all of my farts. This is
causing me serious stomach aches and paints. I'm often recovering

(34:32):
from holding me in from one to two days after
seeing him. Side note, he fights in front of me,
but I'm too embarrassed to do it back. We had
different advice.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
I was like, let it fly free, let it fly free,
fart all you like shit in that bathroom, that's what
they're for.

Speaker 3 (34:48):
No, our advice was the same. The only difference was
you said let it go in front of him, and
I said go to the bathroom. I was like, you're
allowed to far, it's normal. But Laura and I have
different things. Laura is happy to cock her butt, cheek
and fart wherever.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
I run a quality and parody in my relationships.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
If he's gonna far in bed next to me, you
better believe I'm gonna fart in bed next to him.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Are farting? Isn't a quality like? That is not what
we put a quality on. We fought for these rights.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
I bought for these right right my grandmother and her grandmother.
They all thought so that I can far in front
of my husband and he doesn't think I'm less of
a lady.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
Goddamn it, that's what they did. Let me read it
to you. I took your advice about being honest and
started saying I'm going to go to another room because
I need to fight. Or I would say you're not
allowed to go into the bathroom right now after my poop.
I still haven't actually farted in front of him, though, Shane, wait,
do you do it? You'll feel so liberated. But not
long after I message you guys, we started doing long distance.

(35:41):
So now I'm farting all over the place. Fowls have
never felt better. He's coming to visit soon, so I
think I'll have to take a step back and have
to be romantic again. I think this is funny, perfect.
You've owned it. He knows your fart, he knows your poop.
You don't do it in front of him. For me,
this is like the most beautiful response to an ask
on gut well done. This is deeff the question I
was hanging on the edge of my seat for.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Can I just say there is nothing worse than how
gassy you get when you're pregnant as well, and you're
gassy anyway, it is tenfold. Vanessa, did you have this
when you were pregnant? Yea, Vanessa is our video editor
and she's still gassy. Yeah, I feel it's the rum
all right. Question number five. This question got people so

(36:24):
fucking angry on our social media, and rightly so. We
spoke about coesse of control off the back of this,
and really, I think, like if you haven't seen this
question before, like I'm looking forward to what the answer is.
But it was one that really kind of sparked some
conversation across the laugh on Cut community.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
My husband doesn't like me wearing g strings. Now.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
We have been together for twelve years, since I was seventeen,
married with three young kids. When I was younger, I
never wore g strings. I thought they were uncomfortable. Fast
forward to my late twenties and in the past year,
I've started wearing g strings to go to the gym
for comfort and more for a seamless style.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
My husband does not like this.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
He thinks that I am disrespecting his boundaries and that
I'm not being a good wife because I'm parading myself
by wearing that kind of underwear with short leggings running
or going to the gym. Yeah, while he is working
hard to provide for our family, I think the request
to control the type of underwear I wear is over

(37:22):
the top, and it was a decision I made for
myself and for my own comfort and not to parade
to others. I don't want to disrespect him or his boundaries?
Though what do I do now?

Speaker 3 (37:32):
We both had the same response to this. I think
that is really obvious.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, it made us really mad.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
I mean, no man should ever tell you what you
can and can't wear for your underwear, like you shouldn't
have to even explain yourself. The fact that this became
a conversation around boundaries, which we've had this reoccurring theme
in oskon cuts before the weaponizing of therapy talk as
a way of controlling someone to do what you want,
and that's exactly what he's doing in this situation, saying

(37:58):
when you say I don't want to disrespect him or
his boundaries, your underwear is not his boundaries.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
They're two very different things.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
And that was evident in the overwhelming response that we
receive from Life Is about this question.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
And a big part of my response was based around
the fact that you have written this in because you
didn't know if it was normal. You had been with
your partner since you were seventeen for twelve years, and
I truly believe a lot of this was based around
the fact that you were not naive, but you didn't
have the lived experience because you just quite frankly, haven't
been in another adult relationship. There's nothing against that, and

(38:31):
sometimes we don't have those conversations with our friends and families.
And I'm assuming you had never had that conversation, which
is why you wrote into us, And from your answer
it sounds like that was accurate.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Well, I would agree.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
The other thing I want to add to this is
that coercive control and control of any kind can also
be a slow creep. It's something that might not seem
as though it is that unfamiliar or it is that overbearing.
But if he's doing this about your underwear, I dare
say he's doing it at other aspects of your life too.
And you know, we touched on the fact that after

(39:04):
you have children, sometimes your life gets a little bit
smaller because you're primarily for a lot of women, you're
taking care of kids, and so you become more contained.
And then as your kids get a little bit older,
you know, you want to go back to the gym
and you want to do things that are for yourself,
and some controlling or more controlling partners find that transition
really challenging and it is a fucking massive red flag.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
This is what you had to say.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
This response, I don't think is a good response. Unfortunately,
it has some good aspects in it, but overall, you
guys have a listen. It hasn't been easy navigating this
relationship when it's all I've ever known. I appreciated the
opportunity to hear others thoughts, opinions and realized that it
is not normal behavior. Thank you for that. It helped
me to feel stronger for sticking up for myself. Part

(39:49):
of me is actually ashamed to admit that since I
sent in that question, I have also found out that
my husband has cheated on me. But still I found
myself unable to leave, even though I to. When it's good,
it's good, and when it's bad, it's bad. Over the
past two years, my eyes have been open to how
much emotional abuse has occurred within the relationship. Having my

(40:10):
question answered also helped cement that a little bit more
for me. But it is definitely a vicious cycle of
also being blamed for occurrences and then having the mental
battle of well, maybe this is my fault, or maybe
if I did do this, or if I said this differently,
it wouldn't have happened. In short, I did stand up
for myself and my rights in being able to make
decisions for myself, and I did continue to wear what

(40:31):
I wanted to wear. Bit by bit, I'm getting stronger
and better at sticking up for myself, and I still
have a long way to go this. Actually, I don't
know why this makes me want to cry, because I
feel like because it's not a resolution, and you when
you hear someone say I want to leave, but I can't,
there's so much more to this, and I'm so glad

(40:52):
hearing that you've realized what is normal behavior and is
not normal behavior. And it does sound like you're taking
things back into control a little bit in your relationship,
which is amazing that that is happening, But you still
don't have to be in a relationship you don't want
to be in.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
I think that this is also a very very good reminder,
and we talked about this recently on an Ask on
Cut episode. It's a very good reminder that the people
who write these questions in are real people, and sometimes
the feedback on the reels or in the discussion group
can be quite brutal because we read a question and

(41:27):
it seems so evident like this is course of control.
Get the fuck out, and people write, people write advice
given in a way that's not given to a friend,
sometimes because it is their immediate knee jerk reaction, but
having the context of what it is that you're living,
where you're at in your relationship, and how this has
been something that has been systemic throughout your entire relationship

(41:48):
so many years. I think it's a really nice reminder
to all of us. And like, when I say to
you guys, I don't mean like you specifically, but to
our community that the people who write these questions in
a real people.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
They are dealing with very, very real problems.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
And some of it goes a lot deeper than my
husband told me that I can't wear x y underwear,
you know, like that's the tip of the iceberg, that's
the thing that's made the question be written in. But
that type of behavior is indicative of so much more
that lays beneath and I'm just really grateful that maybe
your eyes have been opened to a little bit more,
that you are able to stand up for yourself a

(42:21):
little bit more in this relationship, and this is the
first step to you figuring out exactly what it is
that you want and building the confidence if it is
what you want to leave, because it sounds evident that
things are not good here.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
And I still I hate saying this, but I do
want to encourage you to leave, like you've said, I
want to leave, And there's things you know, when it's
good is good. It is very tricky territory. Like that
is tricky because we start to hold on to the
things that are good to negate the things that are bad.
But it shouldn't be a battle of like, well, it's
okay that he did that because then he brought me flowers.

(42:54):
It's okay that he did that because then he made
me feel really good. Like we get ourselves into that
position where we start to make excuses things. Yeah, it
does become our normal, and it is your normal. It
is all that you know.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
Well, that exact sentence that you wrote, exactly what you said, brute,
when it's good, it's good, and when it's bad it
can be bad is indicative of the roller coaster of
a toxic relationship that to me screams the literal framework
for how an incredibly toxic relationship works.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
The highs are fucking high.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
The lows are abusively low, and that is my fear
for this because when you're in the low, you just
want to get back to the high. And when that's
all you've known in a relationship, that becomes your blueprint,
it becomes your normal. And so I understand why it
is so hard to leave. I understand why it's so
hard when you find out your partner's cheated on you
to go. Actually, I'm not going to stand for this anymore.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
And the reason is.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Because you've stood for so much already, You've already withstood
so many of the bad bits that this is just
like another thing that's piled on, and so you just
continue to stay.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
And I really hope that you're able to get some
help in this.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
I know we give the advice all the time on
our actual ask gun cuts go and speak to someone,
but I think that this an opportunity for you to
maybe get some help outside of the relationship now that
you've identified the things that are really problematic about it.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
And also just lastly, I want to tell the person
who wrote this in that all of us are really
proud of if you fee like making those first steps.
It's a really hard thing to do and it's so hard,
Like both of you said when it's the only thing
that you know, like you actually you've said at their
very end here, I still have a long way to go.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
Well done for starting one hundred percent all right, very
last aftermath. I want to do a nudy swim, but
my boyfriend's against it. Hear me out. I live in
Hobart and every year there is a really big nud
to swim to celebrate the winter solstice. You have to register,
there's no photography allowed. You all wear robes and swim caps.
You drop them then running to the water really quickly.

(44:42):
Of course there's a lot of nudity, that's the whole point,
but it's absolutely freezing, so it's not like everyone is
hanging around stark naked looking at each other. I told
my partner that I want to participate in the swim
this year, and it did not go down well. He
believes that it's a perverse event, just four of perverts.
He doesn't really understand why it has to be nude,

(45:02):
Like why can't you just go and do a swim
to celebrate, which I sort of also get, like you
could just go and do a normal swim. He doesn't
understand why I would quote put myself in a situation
with pervs and to parade myself like meet in front
of lions.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
That was just wow, it's bittraumatic.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
I find this language incredibly shaming. Further's the sexualization of
female's bodies in a negative way. Am I the asshole
for going ahead and doing it regardless of his feelings
and his attitude?

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Okay, we had similar takes on this because I think
at the end of the day we were like, oh,
we didn't.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
I thought we were like, you can go and do it.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
No, I basically said, I get it because if you
were a PERV, that's where you'd go. If you're a PERV,
you would google nude events and like seems pretty obvious
that that's where you turn up if you're a permit.

Speaker 2 (45:47):
I don't know if a purv's going to get much
out of seeing some chicks run into the water, Like
is that what pervs are?

Speaker 3 (45:51):
After? You know what? We didn't talk about it. I
think the thing.

Speaker 2 (45:54):
Is is like people who are actually perverted, like, if
we're going to really go down that track, do we
have to do just second, don't cancel me. People who
are actually perverted are not going to sit there and
watch people who voluntarily are running into the water because
there's no like, there's no perversion about that.

Speaker 3 (46:09):
Take photos and stuff.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Yeah, but the perversion comes from doing something that you're
not supposed to do. It comes from the naughtiness of it.
It comes from like the illegal part of it.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Like that, that's not true. I think.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
So someone who just wants to observe some people run
into the water, that's not a perf like perfs, that's
fuck you do.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
You know what we completely missed and I only thought
about now is that how funny it is that they're
completely naked except for this swim cap. That's funny. That
is a funny vision.

Speaker 4 (46:36):
That's like when I went to the strippers and they
were naked except for the kneecaps and the shoes.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
All Right, what was because like Keisha's taken our response
to this because it was conflicting, and also the response
that we've received from the person who wrote it in
says that we gave two different approaches.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
So have a listen to this.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Nah, you're not a nashole, Like I mean, if you
want to go for a Newdi swim because you think
it's liberating, you don't have to ask for your partner's permission.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
You're not doing anything wrong in that case, Like I mean.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
It depends on the circumstance you will have to like deal.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
Yeah, I mean, if you're going for a newdi swim
with some random Diugia met at a nightclub.

Speaker 3 (47:08):
Bond dibet shouldn't mean at midnight.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
Sure, But if it's like an organized event, there's like
seventy year old women out there doing it, I don't
you know. I think he's sexualizing an event that's not
a sexual event.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
That's like a hymn problem.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
But I also think if you can explain to him
the reasons why you want to do it, maybe you
think it's liberating whatever it is, like it's something that
like puts outside your comfort zone that you.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
Want to be involved in.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
But his version of it, like what he has presumed
is in his head, seems to be a bit of
a twisted kind of reality based on what it actually is.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
I yeah, I'm in two minds about it because I
agree with everything that you just said, Laura, absolutely, But
I've always said that it is something where you need
to take partner's feelings into consideration. Now, that doesn't mean
you have to do what they say. But it means
you need to have a conversation where you say, hey,
I totally understand what you're saying, why it makes you uncomfortable,

(48:00):
but this is why it's important to me, or this
is why I want to do it, Like I think
it's the conversation. I do think it's important. Like if
Ben came to me and said he wanted to go
and do something nude, I would say, Okay, cool, what
is it? Why do you want to do it? And
in all honesty, of course, this isn't a perverted event.
It's an event that everyone does every year. Having said that,
if I was a pervert, I would be looking up

(48:21):
these events and that's where i'd go. If I wanted
to be a PERV, I would go to a nude event.
That's what I'd do. So I don't want to say
there's not going to be a PERV there. Maybe there is,
like it checks out, but obviously that's not what the
event is. I don't imagine there's going to be that
many people lingering around nude having a cup of tea after.
I think it's going to be so quick you'd barely
see it. Robes are off, you're freezing, you run into

(48:43):
the water, you're underwater, you run out, you put your
robe on. I think, go for it, but you do
have to take your part inner feelings at least into
consideration a little bit. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
I mean, I question. I think the PERF to normal
people ratio is going to be pretty slim.

Speaker 3 (48:55):
It is. The ratio is going to be there's more
pervs just out of the beach anyway. But if you
PERV laws, you're gonna go to the neud events, right,
You're gonna look up NEWD events. Everyone in the room
knows it's true. Everyone in the room does not know
it's true.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
If you're true, if you're a PERV, you're not just
You're not going to a Noodie run. You're going to
somewhere that's way more perve. If you're a PERF, stop
being a PERV.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
Yeah. Actually that's the message in here. Yeah, don't listen
to this podcast. All right, Well look this was the reply.
Thank you so much for answering my question. You are
so welcome. It made me laugh hearing the girls.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
I completely agree with everything Laura said, Yet Britt has
given me more empathy to understand his thinking.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Loved both of your responses. Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (49:35):
We don't actually know if she did it. I don't
think the swim's happened.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, the swim hasn't happened. She hasn't done it. I
still think you should go and do it. It's fine,
just go.

Speaker 3 (49:43):
I enjoy it. I think she is going to do it,
and she just is gonna have empathy in chat to
the partner. I think this is the best possible outcome.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
I completely completely agree. And you know what, On that note,
that is all the aftermaths we have for you.

Speaker 3 (49:56):
You're about to say.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
On that note, swim, I told you if you're watching
this on YouTube, Brits naked, because this is going on
our only fans.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
This is how we start kick starting the channel. Is
the only way we can get people to watch the YouTube.
I say Britney's naked.

Speaker 5 (50:10):
That would violate community standards.

Speaker 3 (50:12):
Just no, we do have some more aftermaths too. We're
going to do another one shortly, so keep them coming in.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
When we say shortly, we don't mean in two and
a half years, which is what happened to the last one.
We said we'll start doing them more regularly and then
it's been a long time.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
Yeah, but as you said at the start, takes two
to ten go. We do have Sherry on the case.
She is getting the aftermaths, but we have a few
more that we will add. We need a few more
to come in, but there We're going to try to
do them more frequently as opposed to once every two years.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
And also, I know I said at the start, but
I really want to reiterate it because it is like
it is genuinely the biggest privilege. We have done this
since day Dot Askuna Cut has always been such a
core of what life on Cut stands for and what
it is that we get to create. And we are
so grateful for everyone who writes in their questions, who
shares with us and insight into the hardships that they're

(50:57):
going through. Thank you for listening to advice, thank you
for telling us when you don't agree with it.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Thank you for being a part.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Of this, because this is as much as it's a
two way street to get the aftermaths, it's a two
way street being brought in on these conversations in your life.
And yeah, it's an incredible privilege.

Speaker 1 (51:14):
So thank you.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
But for anybody who has a question, that you want
to slide into the DMS at Life on Cut Podcasts
if you want to do it anonymously, join Life on
Cut discussion group as well. Yeah, we are so so
lucky to have this and.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
We love Lie.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
I was just going to say also if you haven't aftermath,
but maybe you haven't wanted to write it in because
maybe you thought it wasn't a good follow up.

Speaker 5 (51:35):
You know, like, we still want to hear.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
That as well.

Speaker 5 (51:36):
We want to hear how you're going. And I genuinely care.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
And again off the.

Speaker 4 (51:40):
Back of what you said Lea about it being a
real privilege being a part of you know, this podcast
for the past For me four and a half years
or something like that, it has made me such a
more understanding. I feel like I'm a genuinely a more
empathetic and more well rounded person by hearing about your experiences.

Speaker 3 (51:56):
I'm so grateful for it.

Speaker 2 (51:58):
Can I say I desperate Desperate will send you a
message with send you a little cheeky DN for the
aftermath of the woman who found her father in law
sniffing her dildo. I'm sorry, but I must know. I
don't sleep at night. I need to know what happened.
Do you have Christmas together? Do you sit around the
dinner table and pretend like it didn't happen anyway, Guys,

(52:19):
that's it from us.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
Hey, don't forget tomorrow. Tune in. Oh my God, ready
got mad. Brittany myself got married. We're gonna talk all
about it. It is very exciting. I imagine it is.
I imagine it's very exciting. I am so thrilled for
your future wedding.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
I cannot wait.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
I am so excited. But yeah, if you maybe, if
you have specific questions, you can send them in. But
I'm sure we're going to cover it all. I don't
know what's going to go down, but I'm sure there's
going to be lots of amazing things to talk about.
We're going to see you tomorrow morning. Bright Nelly, come missus.
Secrets and you know the dress, Say munty Dad tea,
Doug tea, friends and share the law because we're love.

(53:00):
Rapababa kababa