November 2, 2025 • 43 mins
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions.
Britt’s broken a nail, Laura’s had to put up with a screaming baby for 45 minutes on the way to work and Keeshia is MIA because she’s as sick as a dog.
Britt has the sh*ts with a truck driver who decided to order coffees and do his groceries while she (and others) were waiting for him to clear the petrol pump. Whose side are you on for this?
Laura has given the delivery man a lot more than he expected when it came to signing for their package.
Vibes for the week:
Britt - Luna Lane
Laura - Wayward on Netflix
Then we jump into your questions!
DO I LEAVE MY FIANCE?
I am 24 and have a partner of 5 years who proposed at the end of last year. We have always been a solid couple and never used to fight, however, twice this year he has broken up with me whilst drunk and twice we have agreed to work things out and gotten back together. Our relationship has been reasonably stable since and we’re both working on things to be better for each other. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when I went on a work trip and was flirted with at a bar by a stranger (this is very new to me). Since then, I have been in a spiral of wanting to invest in myself, live guilt free and have new experiences in my 20s or settling with the comfortable life that me and my partner have planned and what I currently know. I have tried really hard to move past his mistakes but I have a gut feeling that need some time to work on myself before I can be in another relationship but feel so guilty for thinking about possibly choosing myself.
MY HUSBAND HATES MY TATTOO
Recently I told my husband of 18 years that I wanted to get another tattoo. He expressed in the past that he doesn't really like my tattoos but I enjoy having them, so YOLO. I told him I was going to get another one on my forearm for something I have been thinking about for a while. He said that of course he won't stop me, but he thinks he will find me less attractive. He was pretty honest. Fast forward, it's been two months since I've had it. I know it is my body, my choice, he said the same, and he recently told me he now finds me less attractive. I feel as though it's more a punishment just because I went and did it. I am really hurt by this as you can't take that back, where do we go from here? And should it matter that much?
CAN YOU SHARE IUD CONTRACEPTIVE COSTS?
I need to get my IUD replaced and I suggested to my boyfriend of 2 years that we split the cost (I live in the US and my insurance doesn’t cover it). He is flat out refusing and is acting shocked like it is so bizarre that I would ask. I just think that we both need to be equally responsible for birth control and since I have to undergo the whole thing and deal with any side effects I think it’s only fair that he helps with something! He even said ‘well it’s your choice so if you want to do it then do it’ but best believe the man would kick up a fuss if I insisted he always used condoms. For context, we both earn exactly the same salary and split almost everything in our relationship. Am I being unreasonable? He is usually an understanding person but somehow he is not getting my point.
HOW TO SPLIT TICKETS?
4 months ago me and my friend bought tickets ($75 each) to a live show where we are sitting together to hang out because we are super busy and never get to catch up. She just found out she has a wedding to attend on the night so can no longer go. I wouldn’t have booked tickets to this show if it wasn’t with her. What do you think her responsibility is? Should she pay for my ticket, give me her ticket so I can go with someone else, or is she free to give the ticket to a friend?
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Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford
Recorded on Cammeraygal Land
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on cameragle Land.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode or lifehone cut.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I just feeled my nail. My nail just snapped in half.
I dropped.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Do you know what happened? I don't know. If you's
all chaos, it's all chaos.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
It's like slow motion.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
My computer, my laptop was sliding off my lap and
falling to its death, and it was going to break,
and I reached out like a Jedi ninja went to
grab and save the laptop, and it snapped my nailing
half and flung it across the room.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It's also it's one of those nails.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
It has like so much composite on top, so it's
a nice and thickened like meaty.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
It ricocheted across the room and lodged it, so it's
still there.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Actually, Nest, if you're watching this on YouTube, please can
we get a video because it is lodged into the
seat that Keisha is normally sat in, except she's dying
today and isn't here.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
We just couldn't move on in get it off.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We just loved it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
That's an indication of this we're like, pull that nail
lives there now.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
For Keija.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Keisha, I think she has some sort of COVID influenza
and pneumonia combination.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yeah, look, I'm not gonna lie. If you've started on
this episode, probably don't. But if you've been a lifer
for a long time, you'll probably have some allowances. For us,
it's been a fucking morning and it has literally just started.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
When we say she just started, it should have started
about three hours ago.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So that's an indication.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
On the other end of the spectrum is the fact
that I am doing this entire record with poppies strapped
to me. She screened for forty five minutes on the
hour drive into work this morning, Like we got caught
in a bit of traffic and it just kicked off
and it crescendoed to purple crying, where it was.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Like, yeah, yeah, she feels like she's been abandoned.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
So yeah, so anyway, we're here, We're here to answer
your questions.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Keisha's unwell, Laura's had a screaming baby, and I have
to do this with nine nails, So feel for me.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Gosh, I hope you're okay. Do you know I did
have this.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I had this moment's morning where I was I don't
know if I woke up on the wrong side of
the bed, I don't know what is happening to me, raging.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I had this moment where I was raging.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Sometimes you just have these days where you feel like
you need to scream into the void.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And that's okay. I feel like.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
That doing that in my car.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
And I'm not usually this kind of a person, but
this for me is just like the height of rudeness,
the height of rudeness, And it's sort of on par
with people that stand too close to the luggage baggage
at the airport, you know, when like you're like, hey, guys,
if you all stepped back from the luggage, we'd all
be able to see our bag.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And I love that it comes up every couple of months,
as though it's something you haven't spoken about.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Now we know that's not always speaking about, but it
reminds me what I'm about to tell you was on
par with that.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
On the way to work this morning.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's peak hour, right like, it's busy, and I had
to get petrol.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
My petrolight was on. I had pushed it to the extreme,
you know, when.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
You're like, oh, the light's on, I've still got one
hundred kilometers or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
So I pulled into the petrol station and there's only
two pumps.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Both were full, so I had to wait right Tell
me what you would do, Laura, So peak hour busy, obviously,
I'm waiting in the line patiently, and there was a
big truck in another and the truck in front fills
his car up.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
He then goes inside to the petro station. He orders coffee,
and he starts to peruse the aisles of the petro station.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Now, mind you, there were twelve spots that he could
have parked, like, he could have filled his car up,
and then you know how you can just drive into
a spot so that someone else can take it. I'm
not exaggerating. Fifteen minutes he was in there perusing doing
like he's grocery shopping or something at the petro station,
and I could see him looking at me. I beat
my horn and he just looked at me. Horn.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Absolutely, I'd be so aggressive. I tell you what's aggressive?
Taking up a pump when you don't need it?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Can I say everything about this episode is aggressive?
Speaker 4 (03:39):
But I was like, I just thought I was like
I said to Ben I was on the phone. I
was like, I'm irrationally mad. And then I said, you
know what is.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Actually not irrational, it's rational like that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
It was unnecessarily ruining people's day.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, look, I agree with you, but I've also you're
that person.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
But I've done it before.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I will No, I'd never shop, but I will go
in and like pick up, you know, some Allen's lollies
and take a quick that's fine. Ordering coffees. He was
ordering coffees for the boys on smoker. He's got a
truck and that takes a lot to park, and it's tricky.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
And anyone that's listening, if you're going to fill up
your petrol and there's a line.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
What's the etiquette? What do you do here?
Speaker 3 (04:16):
No, it's not a question.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I'll tell you what the etiquette is.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I'm not posing the question. I'm letting you know. If
you find yourself in that.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Situation, you always free the pump free, the nip free,
the pump free, it all okay. That's it's also similar
to we've had this question a few years ago and
it's it is very divisive. It's similar to like who
owns the car park. So you know when you're desperately
waiting for a car park, right, and you see somebody
getting in the car, so you follow them around. You
(04:44):
see them get in the car, and you know they're
about to leave and you can take their spot. But
then they get in and they just decide to take
some phone.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
No no, because okay, this happened to me literally yesterday,
and so this is I mean, great safeway.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Let me hang on.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Or what I want to say is I'm not having
to go with that person.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
I'm saying who owns? Because how long should you be
sitting in there? And obviously kids are different. I don't
know what your story is, Laura. But because I'm on
both sides, right, sometimes I will see someone wanting my
spot and I couldn't be doing stuff, but I rush.
And then other times I'm like I really need to
send this email or whatever it is that I was doing,
and I'm like, hang on, I own the car park.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I'm already in here.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
So it's like a fit device.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
He So yesterday I.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Was in the junction like Bono junction and shopping center.
It's very busy. I got stalked the second I walked
out of the sliding doors. I thought the car stalked me, right,
And I had a pram and I had Poppy and
I had a fucking bag and he just like cut
laps like confusing, no, because she just shit herself in
the carrier.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
So I had her in a carrier. I was pushing
an empty pram full of shopping.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I get to the car and they put their little
indicator on and I was like, oh, I'm so I'm
gonna I'm going to be a while, and they were like,
that's fine. And then I could see that they were
getting eggy. But I had to change her nappy in
the boot. It was unnecessary. It put unnecessary pressure on me.
You don't need to wait do a lap. I don't
need this pressure because you need a car park. I'm
still here and I could be forty five minutes. Don't
(06:02):
assume that I'm leaving.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Kids and babies are different.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Thank you, Like you get all the time.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
In the world you needed when you've got a baby,
especially if you're changing it. And also they probably weren't
putting the pressure on you.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But clearly the person who didn't feel any pressure was
the guy driving the truck at the Petro station.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
This morning. Oh no, you know what else.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
We locked eyes and we were locking on it, but
he gave no fucks.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
He'll be fair, he owned that bowser. He was there first.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Okay, so I know we're here to answer your questions,
but I mean, I'm only on one episode a week,
so I'm gonna done my load.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I am.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Now, for anyone who hasn't been playing long, I'm five
weeks postpartum or four and four in a couple of days,
four weeks and three days, let's say four and a bit, yeah,
four and a bit, who's counting. I would like to
say I'm doing really well. Like I think this has been, I.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Would like to blow my own load. I'm fucking killing it.
I will blow your load too, you are killing it.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
No, this has been so far the easiest postpartum that
I have had.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
She is truly amazing. But she wakes up all through that.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like I'm still waking up four five times a night,
like that's just standard with a newborn, four or five
times a night accumulatively over the last four and a
half weeks. As of a couple of days ago, the
sleep debt hit me just to like to kind of
set the scene in my house, Like our laund room
is at the end of the hallway and at the
other end of the hallway is our front door. So
if you're standing at our front door, because we have
(07:17):
a full glass front door, I'm talking like the entire
front door is glass. If you walk up to our
front door, you can see all the way into the
lound room.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
You've just grind everyone the okay to come talk you
if you want to see Lauren this nude somewhere.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
She's got a long hallway. So I knew that we
had a delivery coming. We had like a shark steam
cleaner coming anyway. At the same time, Poppy had a
full blowout, and I don't mean a ship blowout. I
mean like she was just screaming she needed a breastfeed.
I was overwhelmed. I was going through one of these
moments where I was like, I feel like I'm drunk,
so I'm so tired. Yeah, I'm sitting on my lound
room floor and I can see through the glass door,
(07:51):
and the guy walks up and he puts the thing
down and he looks a bit startled, and I guess
it's because he probably wasn't expecting to see.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Like, well, a woman sitting on the ground.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
So he looked at me a bit startled, and I
was like, oh, don't come in, I've just gotten her calm.
And he goes, oh, I need you to sign and
I was like, oh, just okay, give me a second.
And then he was like, no, no, don't worry, don't worry.
I'll just take a photo. I'll take a photo and
i'll put it in the app. And I was like, okay, thanks,
and he walks away and I was like, that was
a weird exchange.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I mean I could have signed for that.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
And then I looked down and I had my entire
tit out, my entire tit.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I had been hardastfeeding.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I'd stop breastfeeding.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just unclipped it and I hadn't even at no
point in the day had I reclipped it.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And I had a full conversation with the sharp courier
man with your own white pointer out.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Just one.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Just one nipple.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And he was so gracious about it because he wasn't
making shirt, he wasn't making eye contact.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Thank you to him. That's making me feel terrible.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
What was he gonna say, excuse me, mam, your tits out.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
You're making me feel uncomforted.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
That's one of those things where you have to pretend
you don't see it. Because he was.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
A real thing. He did really well. I'm proud of him.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
He's probably like, hey, don't worry.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I'll take a photo to prove it, just like this
and I'm in the background, because like this is why
she didn't sign. That's so funny, all right, Britt, What
is your vibe of the week?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
My vibe for the week.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And I'm annoyed at myself that.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I didn't pre plan it and actually wear it.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
But the last few weeks, I know so annoying because
I've worn it like every day.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I'm vibing a brand.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
It's a brand by two mums, their friends, their names.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I don't know them.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I only know this because I went onto their website,
but their best friends, Kate and Laura.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
It's called Luna Lane. And I've been wearing the last
couple of weeks. You guys have probably seen that I'm
in my color era.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I'm wearing a lot of like bright reds and bright
blues and big patterns, and every time I wear them.
The hot pink pants that I wore every time I'm
wearing them. Someone is messaging and saying loving these colours,
wears it from.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Brittany did show up for from lunch the other day
dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and I was so here
for it.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
The Hawaiian shirt that was also the same brand. Yeah,
I just I'm really in my era of trying. I
say that as I'm wearing black and white but every
other day and it's all from this same brand, Luna Lane.
It's like, you know when you discover something, I'm like this,
I'm like this with food, I'm like this with a
TV show.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I'm like it with a brand.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I find something I like and then I just like
hone in on it for a long time. And so
that's all I've been wearing recently because I've just loved
every single thing that they have.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So Luna Laying.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
They've been around for a couple of years. I since
twenty twenty one apparently, but I didn't discover them until
like a couple of months ago. That was me with
Kingsila all through pregnancy. I think I just lived in
Kingsila T shirts.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
So I know, like when you find a brand that
you're like, I love this, and I kind of love
everything that you do.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah, makes it okay? All right, Well, look my recommendation.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I did mention this on last ask on cut that
I have been binge watching series and TV shows on
Netflix and Stan and any other streaming service that.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Could possibly exist.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
A series I watched within three days of having poppies,
so I like literally watched four or five episodes a day.
It's so moorish and easy to consume. It's a thriller
Could Wayward, which you might have seen on Netflix, and
it's been trending in their top ten recently and I
absolutely loved it. So it has Tony Collette in it
as the one of the main characters. At Tony Collette,
(11:02):
she is the leader of this school, like she's kind
of the principal of a school. And it's a reform school.
So kids are sent who are troublesome teenagers. They're taken
from their homes and they're sent to this reform school. However,
it's actually a cult if you're into thrillers and you're
into suspenseful dramas, like it's really really good.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I was completely hooked on it.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
It's given the school that Paris Hilton got sent too.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah, but it's kind of a bit of a mix it.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Tony Collette is absolutely magnificent in it, and the whole
thing I thought was just a really interesting concept.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I thought it was so easy to consume, and I
watched the whole thing, like I said, in three days.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
It's very easy. I think I watched this whole thing
in two days. I actually might have done it one night.
I think it was a big day.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Maybe it was raining that day. But it's on Netflix.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
If you're looking for something to watch and binge watch,
like go, it's fucking amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
All right, let's get into your questions.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Question number one, do I leave my fiance? Wow, that's
put a lot of pressure on us, guys. I am
twenty four and just starting my corporate career. I have
a partner of five years who prepare at the end
of last year. We've always been a super solid couple
and never used to fight. However, twice this year he
has broken up with me whilst he was drunk. That's
(12:10):
pretty shit. You can't just get drunk and keep coming
and being like it's over. We always agree to work
things out and we get back together. Our relationship has
been reasonably stable since, and we're both working on things
to be better for each other. Fast forward to a
couple of weeks ago when I went on a work
trip and I was flirted with at the bar by
a stranger, El Scandalo.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Now this is very new to me.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Since then, I have been in a spiral of wanting
to invest in myself, live guilt free, and have new
experiences in my twenties. Or do I settle with the
comfortable life that me and my partner have planned and
the life that I currently know. I have tried everything
to move past his mistakes, but I have a gut
feeling that I need some time to work on myself
before I can be in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Which is funny because you're in one, you're infected. Yeah,
but it's tricky because he's the one who kind of
the trigger, the on off trigger.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
And she said, I just feel guilty for thinking about
possibly choosing myself and going down a different path and
leaving my film.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Say, but she's in that what.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Do you call it? It's like purgatory.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, But like it's a lot of people, I think.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Get this fleeting feeling even when they've been with someone
for a long time, you're engaged, you're happy, you're getting married.
A lot of people have that moment of like, fuck
is this it? Yeah, And I think that's really normal
kind of Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I feel a little bit differently about this one, but
only because he's the one who destabilized the relationship. And like,
it's okay to have second thoughts, it's okay to have doubts.
It's not okay to propose to your partner who you've
been with for five years and then within twelve months
break up with them twice. That that causes so much
emotional distress and I think that you are undervaluing or
(13:47):
devaluing just with the impact that that has on your
ability to feel safe, stable, secure in your relationship anymore.
And so every time he's done that, it's eroded something
in you, It's eroded something in the real relationship. I
firstly would want to understand, like the why why does
he when he gets drunk, pulls this trigger of wanting
to antagonize you have a fight and then break up
(14:09):
with you. Like that's not normal and it's absolutely fucking
not okay that he did it twice. You know, I
think if he was to do it. Once you were
to have a big conversation about it in terms of like,
like I've been feeling overwhelmed the wedding, blah blah blah,
we're twenty five whatever. You might have been able to
rationalize it and forgive it. But then he did it
a second time, and I think that there is like
(14:31):
this lack in the security of your relationship now. And
I don't want to say that you going out and
then flirting with this guy, that that's all like totally fine.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You know, obviously there's just he flirted with her and
she enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
But to me, it screams, you know, it screams that
things would have been fine. You probably would have gone ahead,
gotten married, You wouldn't have questioned it if his behavior
hadn't shifted. You're saying, well, now it's opened up you
to want to, you know, prioritize yourself, no doubt, Like
of course it has. It's also made you think, okay, well,
what else is out there that is a totally normal
(15:04):
reaction to his behavior of destabilizing the relationship.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I say leave.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I don't want to say leave.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
I do yet, Oh no, I think absolutely, I think
you've answered this for yourself. And I don't often say this,
but sometimes I truly believe you guys right to us
knowing the answer, and you want some you want someone
to say, Yeah, I think you're right, and we can
only know. I really want to preface this, we only
know what you've given us, right, but you've said a
(15:33):
few things here, You've literally told us what you want.
You've said I have a gut feeling, literally, I have
a gut feeling that I need the time to go
and work on myself before I can be in a
relationship that's huge, and like you're in the relationship so
like you're in it, you're.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Not looking for one, like unfortunately you've done this back
to front.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Yeah, And I like when I say at the start
that like those feelings are normal to be like WHOA
is this it?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I truly believe that.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I do think so many people feel that thought of
like fuck, I'm locking this down for like fifty years,
but it's here for two seconds. It's a wave and
it goes, but like you are sitting in it. And
I cannot imagine how I would feel if I was
so on edge all the time that my partner was
going to come home and say fuck, it's over, you
know what I mean, And like the emotional toll that
that takes on you, and it's a manipulation and it's
(16:20):
almost without saying it, it's like you better be careful,
like I can leave this if I want, and I'm
coming back to it.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I'm choosing to come back to it.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
And it's like that feeling of the one thing you
should really feel in a relationship is stable and secure,
and that is absolutely not what he's providing you. And
don't feel guilty that the repercussions of that that you're like, wow,
maybe this actually isn't for me, Like it's better that
you've realized this or are having these realizations now before
you are married.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
It gets a lot messy when you're married, but like
you're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, And you know what it does because I've had
this obviously, he didn't propose to me, surprise, surprise, but
I had this with my first long term relationship that
I was in for six years. He would break up
with me and then come back, and then break up
with me and come back. It makes you hyper vigilant,
so on edge that anything you do that is wrong,
or that you might behave in a way that might
(17:12):
upset them. You become so paranoid that you no longer
behave like yourself because you don't want them to break
up with you.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
And you also don't want to voice any concerns you
have because you're like, I don't want to make them
kiss them off, or I don't want to start a
fight because he'll just leave.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
The thing that might be different about this situation, though,
is that because he's coming home drunk and doing it,
you might be able to kind of be like, actually,
he's the one who's behaving like a loser, Like you
might have recognized that, which I hope you have, and
that's great. The only other thing though, in all of
this is I understand that some people get cold feet.
I don't want to discourage, like, I don't want to
(17:46):
say like, well, if you have cold feet, shouldn't marry them.
You should be one hundred percent, because I think that
there will be some people who have those feelings going
into what is a huge commitment. It means that you're
taking that commitment seriously. However, if that is, if you
have prolonged and consistent cold feet where you are unsure
and you are really kind of grappling with these these
(18:08):
two polar opposites between like living your life and settling
down with what's comfortable, and you're less excited about the
settling down with what's comfortable. Part of me says that
maybe you're just not ready to marry that person, and
if you are consistently unsure, do not forge headfirst into
getting married. Because I would love to know, and maybe
it's worth us doing a poll of people who were divorced.
(18:29):
If you're listening to this podcast and you've been divorced
in the past, did you have those reservations before getting married?
Because I know that we can say, oh, it's really
normal for people to have these feelings, but I would
be really curious to know how many people had those
feelings and their marriage ended in divorce in the long run.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Anyway, that's my question. Pull that shit.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
I have a few other things I want to add
into this because I think that this is a question
that a lot of people can relate to in a way.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Do you have any cold feet going into marrying Ben?
Speaker 4 (18:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
No, I had no at all, but neither This is
what I want to talk about.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
I hate bringing age into it, but I'm going to
because I think sometimes it does matter. But what I
do want to say is you are only twenty four
and you have been with him for five years, and
you are having these feelings now of like what else
is out there? I can tell you there is a
lot out there. And I'm not saying that in terms
of people like there's someone better for you. I'm just
saying every little decision you make, and sometimes I go
(19:24):
down these rabbit holes of life, like every decision you
make changes the course of your life forever, where you live,
what job you get, what relationship you're in, do you
have kids with that person? Like every single thing, And
I go back to thinking, Wow, if I never moved
to Italy at this age, I wouldn't have done this.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I wouldn't have done this, wouldn't got that.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Job and all the way to like that, wouldn't have
put me on the Bachelor and then whatever. I just
think twenty four is young if you're having those feelings.
If you are twenty four and you are obsessed with
your partner and you're so like, I can't wait to marry,
then that's different. But you're twenty four and you are
saying I want to know what's out there in the world,
and I want to live for myself and even say
I want to be like selfish and prioritize myself and
(20:02):
work with myself. That is your body screaming at you
that this might not be right for you. And maybe
this person is right for you, but not right now,
and maybe he needs to get his shit together. Because
the other thing that I think shouldn't be a sentence
you're saying in your relationship is we have been relatively
solid since then when you're marrying someone. Maybe my standards
(20:23):
are too high. I don't want relatively I don't want
to feel relatively stable when I'm going into that relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I want to fucking toast solid. I want to pour
a slab down like I want that cement to be thick.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
And so I think there's some things in there that
I want you to, like, break down and think of it,
because you wrote these words, and I think deep down
you probably know that, if anything, you need some space
to work it out, and maybe you do want to
come back to him, but you might fucking go and flourish.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, Question number two, This one I think is going
to be a little bit divisive.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
But let's try it.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Recently, I told my husband of seventeen years WOW, that
I wanted to get another tattoo. He expressed in the
past that he doesn't really like my tattoos, but I
love that and I have quite a few, so yolo,
I told him I was going to get another one
on my fore arm, something that I have been thinking
about for a while. He said, while of course he
won't stop me, he thinks that he will find it
(21:14):
and me less attractive if I was to get it.
Fast forward, and I went ahead and got the tattoo. Anyway,
it's been two months. I absolutely love it. I know
it's my body and also my choice. And he said
exactly the same thing. However, just recently he told me
that he now finds me less attractive. I feel that
this is more of a punishment just because I went
(21:36):
ahead and did it. I don't actually think that it's
impacted the way I look that much. I'm really hurt
by what he has said, as he can't take this back.
Where are we supposed to go from here? Now that
he's telling me that he finds me less attractive simply
because I have a tattoo, should it really matter?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That much.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
You can't tell your partner that you're not attracted them
unless you're ready to leave.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
You can't because you can't take that back.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I don't even know what you do with that, Laura.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
You and I spoke about this in the past, and
we've always joked about It's always a bit funny. Funny,
like was like, can you tell your partner what to
do with their hair? Can you tell them what tattoos
to get? Because Ben has a lot of tattoos. Got
Russell Crow's face next to his dick. That sounds worse
than it is. Ben has a giant If you don't know,
like his favorite movie is Gladiator. He doesn't have a
crush on Russell Crowe, but he got a theme down
(22:22):
his whole thigh of a Gladiator scene. But what it
means is Russell Crow's head is in the vicinity.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I honestly, when I first saw this, and especially when
Britt doesn't have any tattoos and you're not someone who
likes them, I was shocked to my core. He has
an entire movie scene tattooed on his thigh.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It's a very of Russell Crowe's face.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I just imagine, what did you think the first time
you took his pants off, were you like.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Dude, what the fuck is that? I didn't even notice it.
He's a specimen. I didn't notice the tattoo.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Okay, hold on, what if he had no tattoos and
he went and got that tattoo.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Now, yes, this.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Is where it's different because he already had them.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
It was just who he is, right, and like, you
can't see his tattoo when he's closed, if he's got
shorts on or.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Whatever, you don't see it.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
It's a masterpiece.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
It's a master piece.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
In his defense, the tattoo is very well done. He
went to one of the best and it looks like
Russell Crowe. The detail is amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Anyway, it'd be so sad if your partner had a
tattoo of Russell krob But it was one of those
rule like botch jobs.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
What do you want? And it just like kind of
looked like Russell Krowe but melting off his thigh.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
What I'm getting at here is Ben quite likes tattoos.
He's got a few, but he's not covered. But he
would love to get so many more. And so Ben
wants to get all these other pieces like big chest
pieces and whatever.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And I have said to him.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Really honestly, what this guy said, I was like, because
he'll ask my opinion, what do you think of this?
I will say complete honesty, I don't like it? Can
I say? Can I say? And I will love you less?
If you don't, I will leave you.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I will relates over, I'll never have sex with you
again because it's your body's my body.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Yeah, your body's not your choice. But he always knows
he can get what he wants, right. I'm not gonna
love him less, but I think loving and attractiveness superficially
like we're obviously talking superficial physical. I am not attracted
to big tattoos like that, but it's not gonna make
me love him less. And I would never tell him
(24:15):
after the fact, but I have been honest with him
before and I said, hey, I don't like that tattoo.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I would prefer you didn't get it. Can we look
at something else?
Speaker 4 (24:23):
I'm not stopping him from getting a tattoo, or I'm like,
what other options are there that you would like?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Because I know that.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
If he was covered in all of these big things
that I don't like, would I look at it?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
And fucking get wet. Probably not, but it's not going
to make me love him any less.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
But this is where this guy went wrong.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
I think he did the right thing by being honest
and saying, hey, not for me, But he fucked up
when he said, like, I am less, I'm not attracted
to anymore.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Like you absolutely cannot say that to me.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
It's super emotionally manipulative. And this question screams of I
didn't get my way, so I'm gonna punish you. I'd
said all the right things. It's your body, your choice.
I don't like it, but you do whatever's right for you.
And then when you did what's right for you, you
turn around. The person turns around and says, I don't
find you attractive anymore. That's punishment, That's what that is.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
What tattoo has a woman gone and gotten on her
forearm that has made him be like whoo, That's what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And that's why I think it's emotionally manipulative, because at
the end of the day, he might not find that
tattoo attractive. And I say this because like you can
easily find a tattoo not attractive, it doesn't mean you
don't find your partner attractive, and obviously things like the
placement of it come into effect. Like maybe you're someone
who doesn't want like a full face tattoo on your partner.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That's okay, I get that that's like really aggressive, really aggressive.
All right, that's a lot, it's a lot of process.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
But at the same time, I think you know by
the sounds of things, if it's on your forearm, it's
relatively you know, it's on a non I'm going to
say it's like on a non important body part, but
your forearms relatively important. But you know what I mean, Like,
it's not somewhere where he has to look at it
all the time every day.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Well, your forums, you do you see your forum?
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Like you see that that's I wouldn't say that that's
hidden constantly like most of the year.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
You would probably see that. I don't.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I think I think it's an emotionally manipulative thing to say,
and I think that there is no way, there is
nowhere to go after you tell your partner that you
no longer find them attractive. I think it's not only punishment,
but it's really cruel. And unless you actually don't find
them attractive, you don't want to have sex with them anymore,
and you are ready to deal with the repercussions that
that is going to have on your relationship. Then I
(26:27):
think that it is just it's relationship sabotage. Like you
are ripping a fucking grenade and throwing it into your
relationship and you're like, well, let's see how that goes down,
because you can never take that back.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
It does sound like he's butt her.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
He's butt like he didn't get his way.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
I mean, obviously everyone's so different. Like Matt is covered
in tattoos. He's got loads of different tattoos. One in particular,
Do I find it really attractive?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
No? Is that the turtle?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
One?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
He's got a fucking turtle on his thigh?
Speaker 4 (26:54):
So he Matt last, sorry, would you rather Russell Crowe
or a turtle on your thost So it's a turtle
that kind of looks like a lizard.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Last year he lost a bet.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
The bet was if he beat brother in law in
a race, whoever was the loser would get this like
turtle tattooed on them. And Matt didn't win the race,
and he got a turtle. And it's not small. It's
like the size of my hand tattooed on his calf.
Do I love the tattoo? I don't care for it.
I'm like completely, like non phased either way. Do I
find him less attractive because he's got it a turtle tattooed? No,
(27:24):
I couldn't care less. When you've been in a relationship
for seventeen years, your scope for what is attractive on
that person is far wider than what you might find
attractive on someone else.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
I just don't know, and I don't quite know what
the question is because I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
What you do with it.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I think it's like, where do you go from with this?
And also should it be such a big deal? Should
it getting a tattoo cause this much distress in the relationship?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
And the answer is.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
No, Well no, I don't necessarily agree with that laws
I think, and not just tattoos. I'm taking it outside
of tattoos. Right, If something bothers you, it bothers you.
It's something's going to bother one person in a relationship
that's not going to bother another. And that could be
the way somebody lives their life, Like are they are
slow by they messy? Do they drink too much? Do
they play video games. Do they get tattoos? Like, we
(28:10):
can't tell you what should and shouldn't bother you. I
think it's okay that he is bothered by something he
told you personally he doesn't like it, but his behavior
and response is not okay, and the two can be
different and should be different. I would absolutely want my
partner at that point in my relationship to be being
honest with me. You're twenty years deep. If you can't
be honest, then when are you going to be honest?
(28:30):
But he should have reiterated.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Where he went wrong is.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Saying, of course, I'm gonna love you regardless, like he
didn't give any security to the situation.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
He was honest and said.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
It's not for me, but that shouldn't What he's doing
now is punishment. What he's doing now is pretty gross,
and it definitely sounds more like there's no way he's
looking at it for I'm taddy and be like, oh,
I kind of sex with you. It's definitely coming down
to the fact that he tried to push you to
go in a direction and you chose otherwise, and.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Now he's but her.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
It's one thing to preach body autonomy. It's one thing
to say all the right things. It's your body, your choice,
you do what's right for you. But if you're saying
that laced with I'm going to have a real issue
with this after the fact, then you actually don't believe
in body autonomy at all.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Now, hear me out.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
I need to get my IUD replaced, and I suggested
to my boyfriend of two years that we split the cost.
I live in the US and my insurance doesn't cover it. Now,
insurance in the US there's like a care plan that
most of the time covers this kind of stuff. She
doesn't have it, and I did look into it. Well,
it can be up to eighteen hundred US dollars, so
(29:32):
I'm pretty sure that it's like maybe two and a
half grand if you like converted that to the Ausie
dollar something. Regardless, it's a lot of money. He is
flat out refusing and is acting shocked like it is
so bizarre that I would even ask. I just think
that we both need to be equally responsible for birth control,
and since I have to undergo the whole thing and
deal with any side effects, I think it's only fair
(29:53):
that he helps with something. He even said, well, it's
your choice, So if you want to do it, then
do it. What fucked hard?
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Where the fuck are we finding these men? Where did
you find him in the US?
Speaker 4 (30:04):
He probably sports Trump. No, it's a no okay, So
he said, well, it's your choice. If you want to
do it, then do it. But believe me, the man
would kick up a fuss if I insisted. He always
used condoms for context. We both earn exactly the same
salary and split almost everything in our relationship.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Am I being unreasonable? Break up with him?
Speaker 4 (30:22):
He is usually an understanding person, but somehow about this
he's not getting my point.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Break up with him. Don't break up with him.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Also, I just want to say, if anyone can hear,
it's because poppies struck to me, and she's breathing really heavily.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
She is a small sign of Yeah, she has tiny signs.
Goddamn it. I why part of me would Okay?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I know I said break up with him, and that
might say it's sound extreme, but I actually don't know
if it's that extreme.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Hear me out.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I feel like this is very deeply misogynistic, and he
doesn't take things that are important to you or things
that affect the both of you like he is saying
that the entire respet responsibility of birth, control, of birthing,
of you know, anything to do with fertility is your responsibility,
which is inequivalently not okay and is incorrect. When you're
(31:12):
in a relationship, that is something that you share responsibility for.
And to me, that is a massive fucking red flag.
Him not seeing something that every day he benefits from
as part of his responsibility, knowing full well that this
is going to cost you potentially two thousand dollars, to me,
is utterly insane. Not only does it show that he's
incredibly selfish, but it shows that he's deeply misogynistic when
(31:34):
it comes to anything that pertains to women's healthcare. How's
he going to react if you do get pregnant and
you decide that you want an abortion?
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Is that for you to manage? Is that for you
to take care of?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
How is he going to react if you get pregnant
and you are the one having to ub front hospital
bills or everything else? For me, there has to be
a bigger conversation in this, And if he is unable
to see how he benefits from this, then I would
be firstly saying I'm not paying for the own and
you can wear a condom. I don't care if you
kick up a fuss. You can wear a condom every
single time we have sex. And if you are not
(32:07):
okay with that, they were not having sex.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Yeah, this is the biggest red flag for me, Like,
this is wild that he's like, fuck your body, you
do it if you want.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
It's not even just the money, right people.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And maybe I don't want to say men don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
They fucking should not. They should know about it.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
They don't, but that's not an excuse they don't because
they can't care.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
They should do.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
They have any idea what it does to a woman's body.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
It's not just like you're not just taking a pill
or you're not just putting something inside you. It is
complete control and manipulations of what should be natural hormone
production for your body. Like it was one of those
things that we got told we had to do as
a woman. Oh, you go to the doctor when you're
sixteen and you get the pill, You go and put
an idine and you don't ask questions. It was what
women did. It was just just a part of it.
(32:53):
It fucks your body so much. And I'm not saying
don't take it. There is something for everyone. I was
on it for like sixteen years. But I don't think
he has any understanding of what it does to your body.
But it's interesting that he says that. You say he
would kick up a fuss over condoms. Sorry, condoms are
the easiest thing you can do. It's not going to
cost you eighteen hundred dollars. It's not going to change
(33:15):
his body. It's not going to send you guys crazy.
It's not putting a foreign object inside of your body.
Here are the options. We other don't have sex, we
have a kid, which you're not. But you just say
that because he won't do it. We don't have sex,
you have a kid, or you wear a condom. What's
it going to be the.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Part of this question, though, Britt where she says, you know,
he said, you know, it's my choice, like I'm making
this decision or whatever it is. I can't remember the
exact words that we use, but he's like, it's your choice.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
You've made that to me.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
He says, I will worrd it to you. He said, quote, well,
it's your choice, so if you want to do it,
then do it.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
What he probably means by that, and I'm not this
is not me playing Devil's advocate, but what he probably
means by that is, oh, well, you've chose the most
expensive option. Like you've chose the IUD option, which is
probably more expensive than being on the pill. You have
made the decision that is right for your body, and
we all know women it takes so long to figure
out what works for you. Unfortunately, the IUD where you
(34:05):
are is the most expensive option. You haven't chosen it
because it's the Goal Class or the Rolls Royce.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
You've chosen it because it works for you. It doesn't
work for everyone.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Some people have IUDs and they have like hellish reactions
to it and hellish outcomes. So like, I think having
that explain it's not your job to have to explain
this shit to him. Unfortunately, when you are in a
relationship with someone who has chosen to be fucking ignorant,
it means that either you leave them or you do
have to explain it to them. That's the only two
(34:32):
options you have. So in this instance, you can explain
those things to him. You can do exactly what you've said,
Brit And it's like, well, here are your options, either.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
This or this or we have a baby.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Yeah, Like, it is my body, my choice, and I
don't want to choose that, so let's talk about the
other option totally.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
It is your body, your choice, But he benefits every
single day from the choice that you make, and ultimately
he should financially contribute to that benefit. And that's how
I think we feel about It's how most people, normal
people would feel about it. If he continues to think
that he shouldn't have to pay for something that he
directly benefits from, that is the biggest fucking red flag.
(35:09):
It also shows how he's going to behave in future,
like in other conversations around things that might not feel
or seem equitable from the outset. And I would say, I,
you know, look, maybe don't leave him straight away, but
I would definitely be considering what type of person he
is and why he feels so strongly that he shouldn't
have to contribute to this, Like why is this the
(35:30):
hill that he's going to die on? And if it
was so important to my partner, regardless of whether I
agreed or disagreed, if something was so important to my partner,
I would contribute financially because I benefit from it and
I love them.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
But like I would give money to my partner, whether
it was for something benefiting both of us or if
they just got stuck and any money for anything, I
don't have to benefit from it, because that's a choice.
In a partnership, you're supposed to be there to help
each other out totally.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
But the fact that he has dug his heels in
so deeply on this specific topic show how misogynistic it is.
It shows his true colors about these types of topics,
and I would try and dig a little deeper to
understand what is his because, like I mean, I know
you've been together for two years, and I know you
share and are equitable on a lot of other things,
but this is something that I think his true colors
(36:16):
are showing, and so I would want to gauge more
about who he is as a person when it comes
to these topics. These are things you need to discuss
because this, to me is the tip of an iceberg.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
That's a really fucking ugly iceberg. All right, Next question.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Last question is a financial question.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
Four months ago, me and my friend bought tickets seventy
five dollars each to a live show where we are
sitting together. This is purely to hang out because we're
super busy and never get to catch up. So I
think she's saying that is in it's more about us
spending time together than the actual show.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Yeah, they were going to.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
She just found out that she has a wedding to
attend on the night and she can no longer go.
I would not have booked these tickets to this show
if it wasn't to spend time with her. What do
you think her responsibility is now? Is the one that
pulled out? Should she pay for my ticket and we
just both don't go? Does she give me her ticket
so that I can go with someone else? Or is
(37:08):
she free to give the ticket to anyone that she
wants to give it to because she was the original
ticket owner. Okay, I think I can answer this one
really quickly.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
She doesn't have to pay for your ticket, because I
think that's expecting too much. I think it is a
pretty fucking rogue and unkind thing just to be like, Hey,
so I'm not going anymore. I'm gonna sell these tickets
on gum Tree and you can go with a complete stranger,
Like I feel like that is a pretty unfair thing
to do. Or she could give you the ticket you
(37:35):
can go with someone. I personally would give the ticket
to my friend and be like, hey, I can't go
take my ticket.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Take whoever you want to.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
However, there is another option here that you haven't explored
if you don't want to go.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
If you were like I actually didn't want to go
to this concert.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
I was only going because we were going to hang
out together, I would say to my friend, Hey, I
know you've pulled out. I'm kind of bummed about it.
The only reason why I was going was because I
will to spend time with you. I actually don't really
want to go to the concert without you. Why don't
you both sell the tickets? Because someone is going to
be way more inclined to buy two tickets together than
what they are to buy a single random road ticket.
(38:11):
Just both sell your tickets, sell them to someone else,
and then, like you know, you might maybe you sell
them a twenty bucks less or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
You know we usually saw them for more.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
You scalp them, Well, it.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Depends depends on whether it's sold out right right who
it is. You can like, try that and if that
doesn't work. Then yeah, she should just be kind enough
to give you the ticket and you can take someone else.
You shouldn't be out of pocket because she can't go.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
It does make me I want to know what the
friend has said she wants to do, because like, for
you to write this in means she hasn't offered you
the ticket means she's doing something rogue.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Otherwise she wouldn't have written in it. So fucking weird.
Men's be like, hey, I can't come, so I've given
it to John from work.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
He'll be going with you.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
It's like there's a weird flex.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
You've got two options exactly that she either needs to
give you the ticket you can fucking take whoever you want,
any friends you want, or if you want to give
them away whatever you can, or you literally put them
both together on market and you sell them together. To me,
there's like, this is two options in a box, like
you don't do anything else.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
I think that there's a bigger question here that actually
has nothing to do with tickets. Should these conversations be
uncomfortable with your friend? Like should you be able to
talk this level with your friends? Because it seems as
though when we get these types of like, Hey, my
friend did this, and I don't know what the right
way or thing to do is. It's like, of course
there's an etiquette to it, but also there's like a
transparency and kind of like what is an okay conversation
(39:28):
to have with your friend?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Are you being overbearing? Are you expecting too much?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I think it's so fine for you to be like
I don't want to go to the concert with the
funking random stranger. Yeah, what's the solution? What's the solution?
Because I only go with Frank. Don't even go Frank.
I'm not going with Frank. But I think that some
people are really conflict avoidant and so that feels like conflict,
but it shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
That is it's not conflict. No, it's just like not
And also we're all so time poor.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
No one wants to go and do an activity that
isn't the activity that they want to do, So like,
unless you're absolutely fucking like stop, Taylor Swift, Yeah, I
would go there with anyone. I'd go there, you know
what I mean. I think it's fine. I think you
can have this conversation. Shouldn't feel weird about it. And also, yes,
(40:13):
I think that a non asshole friend would either just
give you the ticket or sell them together.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
But also please let.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Us know, I what did she want to do with it?
And be who are you going to see? Like that's
what I don't know. Hi, guys, please keep your ask
gun Cuts coming in. You can write into Instagram, which
is lifeun Cut podcast as gun Cut you're always anonymous,
or if you want to take that anonymity to a
whole nother level, you can email us.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
At Hallo at life on Hume. Make it a burner account.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Should we get those.
Speaker 4 (40:40):
A lot of people send them from burner accounts to
our emails because they really really don't want to.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Do you ever think that potentially if someone's done that,
it's someone that we know, like it could be someone
within a friendship circle, or it's like they they're never
going to know.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I'm just going to know. I don't think it's ever
people we know.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
I think it's there's Sometimes they're the more salacious ones
or ones that maybe they know someone else's to the
podcast and they just want nah, they don't they want
zero chance of it ever getting out. But I can
tell you we don't even look at your profiles like
you're so nonal.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
We don't we don't. We don't do I mean, we
don't do any research I have before.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
Sometimes we're not like getting pregnant by the colors And
I looked at that one.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Did you just wanted to see they're private concening? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
I also want to apologize if you've been well. I mean,
if you've listened to this, if you've watched it on YouTube,
you would actually get it. I have had Poppy strat
to me the entire time. So if there's been weird
peeps or weird, that is because she's been making noise.
And also, I'm just gonna apologize because I'm super sleep
deprived and I'm doing my best.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Guys, I'm holding on for dear life.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
There's nothing to apologize for sleep deprivation. You're great, it's
just the pterodactyl sounds.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, No, it's not that. It's that I find it
more challenging to collect my thoughts.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
You want me edit those out, You're just on it.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
We edit it out.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Also, guys, YouTube, go hit subscribe. Watch.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
There's heaps of.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Shorts, all the long form, all of our interviews.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
It's really really cool.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
You can get some poppy up there. You can see
poppies top of her head.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
And also a lot of people are finding a really
good way to bond with it partners at home, they
put the ask gun cuts on the on the big
screen on the TV via YouTube, play the question, chat
it out with their partner or their flatmates or whoever
it is before they play our response. But it's a
really good, like conversation starter for someone in your life
an end, if you think it's going to relate to
something and you want your partner like it's a good
(42:18):
way to try and get them on board if you're
trying to like if you're disagreeing with something or no.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
It's what also just a really nice way of finding
out your partner's morals and their moral compass, whether they
agree with something or don't agree with it. I mean, like,
for example, that contraception question. Play that to your partner
and have a conversation about it because it's non accusatory,
it's an open question, and you can really gauge, like
what is the type of person that your partner is
and how would they navigate these types of situations.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
And then we have a mass exodus.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
And then everyone can break up with their partners anyway, guys,
that is it from us And you know the.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
Dress, Say Mum, say Dad, Tay dog Ka, friends and
Chaid the love because we.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Love love
Speaker 4 (43:00):
A the Modal Pampers
This episode was recorded on cameragle Land.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode or lifehone cut.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I just feeled my nail. My nail just snapped in half.
I dropped.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Do you know what happened? I don't know. If you's
all chaos, it's all chaos.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
It's like slow motion.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
My computer, my laptop was sliding off my lap and
falling to its death, and it was going to break,
and I reached out like a Jedi ninja went to
grab and save the laptop, and it snapped my nailing
half and flung it across the room.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It's also it's one of those nails.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
It has like so much composite on top, so it's
a nice and thickened like meaty.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
It ricocheted across the room and lodged it, so it's
still there.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Actually, Nest, if you're watching this on YouTube, please can
we get a video because it is lodged into the
seat that Keisha is normally sat in, except she's dying
today and isn't here.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
We just couldn't move on in get it off.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
We just loved it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
That's an indication of this we're like, pull that nail
lives there now.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
For Keija.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
Keisha, I think she has some sort of COVID influenza
and pneumonia combination.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Yeah, look, I'm not gonna lie. If you've started on
this episode, probably don't. But if you've been a lifer
for a long time, you'll probably have some allowances. For us,
it's been a fucking morning and it has literally just started.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
When we say she just started, it should have started
about three hours ago.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
So that's an indication.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
On the other end of the spectrum is the fact
that I am doing this entire record with poppies strapped
to me. She screened for forty five minutes on the
hour drive into work this morning, Like we got caught
in a bit of traffic and it just kicked off
and it crescendoed to purple crying, where it was.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Like, yeah, yeah, she feels like she's been abandoned.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
So yeah, so anyway, we're here, We're here to answer
your questions.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Keisha's unwell, Laura's had a screaming baby, and I have
to do this with nine nails, So feel for me.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Gosh, I hope you're okay. Do you know I did
have this.
Speaker 4 (01:52):
I had this moment's morning where I was I don't
know if I woke up on the wrong side of
the bed, I don't know what is happening to me, raging.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I had this moment where I was raging.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Sometimes you just have these days where you feel like
you need to scream into the void.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
And that's okay. I feel like.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
That doing that in my car.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
And I'm not usually this kind of a person, but
this for me is just like the height of rudeness,
the height of rudeness, And it's sort of on par
with people that stand too close to the luggage baggage
at the airport, you know, when like you're like, hey, guys,
if you all stepped back from the luggage, we'd all
be able to see our bag.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And I love that it comes up every couple of months,
as though it's something you haven't spoken about.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Now we know that's not always speaking about, but it
reminds me what I'm about to tell you was on
par with that.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
On the way to work this morning.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
It's peak hour, right like, it's busy, and I had
to get petrol.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
My petrolight was on. I had pushed it to the extreme,
you know, when.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
You're like, oh, the light's on, I've still got one
hundred kilometers or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
So I pulled into the petrol station and there's only
two pumps.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Both were full, so I had to wait right Tell
me what you would do, Laura, So peak hour busy, obviously,
I'm waiting in the line patiently, and there was a
big truck in another and the truck in front fills
his car up.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
He then goes inside to the petro station. He orders coffee,
and he starts to peruse the aisles of the petro station.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Now, mind you, there were twelve spots that he could
have parked, like, he could have filled his car up,
and then you know how you can just drive into
a spot so that someone else can take it. I'm
not exaggerating. Fifteen minutes he was in there perusing doing
like he's grocery shopping or something at the petro station,
and I could see him looking at me. I beat
my horn and he just looked at me. Horn.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Absolutely, I'd be so aggressive. I tell you what's aggressive?
Taking up a pump when you don't need it?
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Can I say everything about this episode is aggressive?
Speaker 4 (03:39):
But I was like, I just thought I was like
I said to Ben I was on the phone. I
was like, I'm irrationally mad. And then I said, you
know what is.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Actually not irrational, it's rational like that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
It was unnecessarily ruining people's day.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, look, I agree with you, but I've also you're
that person.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
But I've done it before.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I will No, I'd never shop, but I will go
in and like pick up, you know, some Allen's lollies
and take a quick that's fine. Ordering coffees. He was
ordering coffees for the boys on smoker. He's got a
truck and that takes a lot to park, and it's tricky.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
And anyone that's listening, if you're going to fill up
your petrol and there's a line.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
What's the etiquette? What do you do here?
Speaker 3 (04:16):
No, it's not a question.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I'll tell you what the etiquette is.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
I'm not posing the question. I'm letting you know. If
you find yourself in that.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Situation, you always free the pump free, the nip free,
the pump free, it all okay. That's it's also similar
to we've had this question a few years ago and
it's it is very divisive. It's similar to like who
owns the car park. So you know when you're desperately
waiting for a car park, right, and you see somebody
getting in the car, so you follow them around. You
(04:44):
see them get in the car, and you know they're
about to leave and you can take their spot. But
then they get in and they just decide to take
some phone.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
No no, because okay, this happened to me literally yesterday,
and so this is I mean, great safeway.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Let me hang on.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Or what I want to say is I'm not having
to go with that person.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
I'm saying who owns? Because how long should you be
sitting in there? And obviously kids are different. I don't
know what your story is, Laura. But because I'm on
both sides, right, sometimes I will see someone wanting my
spot and I couldn't be doing stuff, but I rush.
And then other times I'm like I really need to
send this email or whatever it is that I was doing,
and I'm like, hang on, I own the car park.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
I'm already in here.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
So it's like a fit device.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
He So yesterday I.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Was in the junction like Bono junction and shopping center.
It's very busy. I got stalked the second I walked
out of the sliding doors. I thought the car stalked me, right,
And I had a pram and I had Poppy and
I had a fucking bag and he just like cut
laps like confusing, no, because she just shit herself in
the carrier.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
So I had her in a carrier. I was pushing
an empty pram full of shopping.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I get to the car and they put their little
indicator on and I was like, oh, I'm so I'm
gonna I'm going to be a while, and they were like,
that's fine. And then I could see that they were
getting eggy. But I had to change her nappy in
the boot. It was unnecessary. It put unnecessary pressure on me.
You don't need to wait do a lap. I don't
need this pressure because you need a car park. I'm
still here and I could be forty five minutes. Don't
(06:02):
assume that I'm leaving.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Kids and babies are different.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Thank you, Like you get all the time.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
In the world you needed when you've got a baby,
especially if you're changing it. And also they probably weren't
putting the pressure on you.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But clearly the person who didn't feel any pressure was
the guy driving the truck at the Petro station.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
This morning. Oh no, you know what else.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
We locked eyes and we were locking on it, but
he gave no fucks.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
He'll be fair, he owned that bowser. He was there first.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Okay, so I know we're here to answer your questions,
but I mean, I'm only on one episode a week,
so I'm gonna done my load.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I am.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Now, for anyone who hasn't been playing long, I'm five
weeks postpartum or four and four in a couple of days,
four weeks and three days, let's say four and a bit, yeah,
four and a bit, who's counting. I would like to
say I'm doing really well. Like I think this has been, I.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Would like to blow my own load. I'm fucking killing it.
I will blow your load too, you are killing it.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
No, this has been so far the easiest postpartum that
I have had.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
She is truly amazing. But she wakes up all through that.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Like I'm still waking up four five times a night,
like that's just standard with a newborn, four or five
times a night accumulatively over the last four and a
half weeks. As of a couple of days ago, the
sleep debt hit me just to like to kind of
set the scene in my house, Like our laund room
is at the end of the hallway and at the
other end of the hallway is our front door. So
if you're standing at our front door, because we have
(07:17):
a full glass front door, I'm talking like the entire
front door is glass. If you walk up to our
front door, you can see all the way into the
lound room.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
You've just grind everyone the okay to come talk you
if you want to see Lauren this nude somewhere.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
She's got a long hallway. So I knew that we
had a delivery coming. We had like a shark steam
cleaner coming anyway. At the same time, Poppy had a
full blowout, and I don't mean a ship blowout. I
mean like she was just screaming she needed a breastfeed.
I was overwhelmed. I was going through one of these
moments where I was like, I feel like I'm drunk,
so I'm so tired. Yeah, I'm sitting on my lound
room floor and I can see through the glass door,
(07:51):
and the guy walks up and he puts the thing
down and he looks a bit startled, and I guess
it's because he probably wasn't expecting to see.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Like, well, a woman sitting on the ground.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
So he looked at me a bit startled, and I
was like, oh, don't come in, I've just gotten her calm.
And he goes, oh, I need you to sign and
I was like, oh, just okay, give me a second.
And then he was like, no, no, don't worry, don't worry.
I'll just take a photo. I'll take a photo and
i'll put it in the app. And I was like, okay, thanks,
and he walks away and I was like, that was
a weird exchange.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
I mean I could have signed for that.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
And then I looked down and I had my entire
tit out, my entire tit.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I had been hardastfeeding.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I'd stop breastfeeding.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I just unclipped it and I hadn't even at no
point in the day had I reclipped it.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
And I had a full conversation with the sharp courier
man with your own white pointer out.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
Just one.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Just one nipple.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And he was so gracious about it because he wasn't
making shirt, he wasn't making eye contact.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Thank you to him. That's making me feel terrible.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
What was he gonna say, excuse me, mam, your tits out.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
You're making me feel uncomforted.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
That's one of those things where you have to pretend
you don't see it. Because he was.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
A real thing. He did really well. I'm proud of him.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
He's probably like, hey, don't worry.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I'll take a photo to prove it, just like this
and I'm in the background, because like this is why
she didn't sign. That's so funny, all right, Britt, What
is your vibe of the week?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
My vibe for the week.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
And I'm annoyed at myself that.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
I didn't pre plan it and actually wear it.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
But the last few weeks, I know so annoying because
I've worn it like every day.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
I'm vibing a brand.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
It's a brand by two mums, their friends, their names.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
I don't know them.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
I only know this because I went onto their website,
but their best friends, Kate and Laura.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
It's called Luna Lane. And I've been wearing the last
couple of weeks. You guys have probably seen that I'm
in my color era.
Speaker 4 (09:31):
I'm wearing a lot of like bright reds and bright
blues and big patterns, and every time I wear them.
The hot pink pants that I wore every time I'm
wearing them. Someone is messaging and saying loving these colours,
wears it from.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Brittany did show up for from lunch the other day
dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and I was so here
for it.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
The Hawaiian shirt that was also the same brand. Yeah,
I just I'm really in my era of trying. I
say that as I'm wearing black and white but every
other day and it's all from this same brand, Luna Lane.
It's like, you know when you discover something, I'm like this,
I'm like this with food, I'm like this with a
TV show.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I'm like it with a brand.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I find something I like and then I just like
hone in on it for a long time. And so
that's all I've been wearing recently because I've just loved
every single thing that they have.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So Luna Laying.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
They've been around for a couple of years. I since
twenty twenty one apparently, but I didn't discover them until
like a couple of months ago. That was me with
Kingsila all through pregnancy. I think I just lived in
Kingsila T shirts.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
So I know, like when you find a brand that
you're like, I love this, and I kind of love
everything that you do.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah, makes it okay? All right, Well, look my recommendation.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I did mention this on last ask on cut that
I have been binge watching series and TV shows on
Netflix and Stan and any other streaming service that.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Could possibly exist.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
A series I watched within three days of having poppies,
so I like literally watched four or five episodes a day.
It's so moorish and easy to consume. It's a thriller
Could Wayward, which you might have seen on Netflix, and
it's been trending in their top ten recently and I
absolutely loved it. So it has Tony Collette in it
as the one of the main characters. At Tony Collette,
(11:02):
she is the leader of this school, like she's kind
of the principal of a school. And it's a reform school.
So kids are sent who are troublesome teenagers. They're taken
from their homes and they're sent to this reform school. However,
it's actually a cult if you're into thrillers and you're
into suspenseful dramas, like it's really really good.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I was completely hooked on it.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
It's given the school that Paris Hilton got sent too.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Yeah, but it's kind of a bit of a mix it.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Tony Collette is absolutely magnificent in it, and the whole
thing I thought was just a really interesting concept.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
I loved it.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I thought it was so easy to consume, and I
watched the whole thing, like I said, in three days.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
It's very easy. I think I watched this whole thing
in two days. I actually might have done it one night.
I think it was a big day.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Maybe it was raining that day. But it's on Netflix.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
If you're looking for something to watch and binge watch,
like go, it's fucking amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
All right, let's get into your questions.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Question number one, do I leave my fiance? Wow, that's
put a lot of pressure on us, guys. I am
twenty four and just starting my corporate career. I have
a partner of five years who prepare at the end
of last year. We've always been a super solid couple
and never used to fight. However, twice this year he
has broken up with me whilst he was drunk. That's
(12:10):
pretty shit. You can't just get drunk and keep coming
and being like it's over. We always agree to work
things out and we get back together. Our relationship has
been reasonably stable since, and we're both working on things
to be better for each other. Fast forward to a
couple of weeks ago when I went on a work
trip and I was flirted with at the bar by
a stranger, El Scandalo.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Now this is very new to me.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
Since then, I have been in a spiral of wanting
to invest in myself, live guilt free, and have new
experiences in my twenties. Or do I settle with the
comfortable life that me and my partner have planned and
the life that I currently know. I have tried everything
to move past his mistakes, but I have a gut
feeling that I need some time to work on myself
before I can be in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Which is funny because you're in one, you're infected. Yeah,
but it's tricky because he's the one who kind of
the trigger, the on off trigger.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:01):
And she said, I just feel guilty for thinking about
possibly choosing myself and going down a different path and
leaving my film.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Say, but she's in that what.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Do you call it? It's like purgatory.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah, But like it's a lot of people, I think.
Speaker 4 (13:13):
Get this fleeting feeling even when they've been with someone
for a long time, you're engaged, you're happy, you're getting married.
A lot of people have that moment of like, fuck
is this it? Yeah, And I think that's really normal
kind of Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I feel a little bit differently about this one, but
only because he's the one who destabilized the relationship. And like,
it's okay to have second thoughts, it's okay to have doubts.
It's not okay to propose to your partner who you've
been with for five years and then within twelve months
break up with them twice. That that causes so much
emotional distress and I think that you are undervaluing or
(13:47):
devaluing just with the impact that that has on your
ability to feel safe, stable, secure in your relationship anymore.
And so every time he's done that, it's eroded something
in you, It's eroded something in the real relationship. I
firstly would want to understand, like the why why does
he when he gets drunk, pulls this trigger of wanting
to antagonize you have a fight and then break up
(14:09):
with you. Like that's not normal and it's absolutely fucking
not okay that he did it twice. You know, I
think if he was to do it. Once you were
to have a big conversation about it in terms of like,
like I've been feeling overwhelmed the wedding, blah blah blah,
we're twenty five whatever. You might have been able to
rationalize it and forgive it. But then he did it
a second time, and I think that there is like
(14:31):
this lack in the security of your relationship now. And
I don't want to say that you going out and
then flirting with this guy, that that's all like totally fine.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
You know, obviously there's just he flirted with her and
she enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
But to me, it screams, you know, it screams that
things would have been fine. You probably would have gone ahead,
gotten married, You wouldn't have questioned it if his behavior
hadn't shifted. You're saying, well, now it's opened up you
to want to, you know, prioritize yourself, no doubt, Like
of course it has. It's also made you think, okay, well,
what else is out there that is a totally normal
(15:04):
reaction to his behavior of destabilizing the relationship.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
I say leave.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I don't want to say leave.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
I do yet, Oh no, I think absolutely, I think
you've answered this for yourself. And I don't often say this,
but sometimes I truly believe you guys right to us
knowing the answer, and you want some you want someone
to say, Yeah, I think you're right, and we can
only know. I really want to preface this, we only
know what you've given us, right, but you've said a
(15:33):
few things here, You've literally told us what you want.
You've said I have a gut feeling, literally, I have
a gut feeling that I need the time to go
and work on myself before I can be in a
relationship that's huge, and like you're in the relationship so
like you're in it, you're.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Not looking for one, like unfortunately you've done this back
to front.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Yeah, And I like when I say at the start
that like those feelings are normal to be like WHOA
is this it?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I truly believe that.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
I do think so many people feel that thought of
like fuck, I'm locking this down for like fifty years,
but it's here for two seconds. It's a wave and
it goes, but like you are sitting in it. And
I cannot imagine how I would feel if I was
so on edge all the time that my partner was
going to come home and say fuck, it's over, you
know what I mean, And like the emotional toll that
that takes on you, and it's a manipulation and it's
(16:20):
almost without saying it, it's like you better be careful,
like I can leave this if I want, and I'm
coming back to it.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I'm choosing to come back to it.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
And it's like that feeling of the one thing you
should really feel in a relationship is stable and secure,
and that is absolutely not what he's providing you. And
don't feel guilty that the repercussions of that that you're like, wow,
maybe this actually isn't for me, Like it's better that
you've realized this or are having these realizations now before
you are married.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
It gets a lot messy when you're married, but like
you're not there yet.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, And you know what it does because I've had
this obviously, he didn't propose to me, surprise, surprise, but
I had this with my first long term relationship that
I was in for six years. He would break up
with me and then come back, and then break up
with me and come back. It makes you hyper vigilant,
so on edge that anything you do that is wrong,
or that you might behave in a way that might
(17:12):
upset them. You become so paranoid that you no longer
behave like yourself because you don't want them to break
up with you.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
And you also don't want to voice any concerns you
have because you're like, I don't want to make them
kiss them off, or I don't want to start a
fight because he'll just leave.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
The thing that might be different about this situation, though,
is that because he's coming home drunk and doing it,
you might be able to kind of be like, actually,
he's the one who's behaving like a loser, Like you
might have recognized that, which I hope you have, and
that's great. The only other thing though, in all of
this is I understand that some people get cold feet.
I don't want to discourage, like, I don't want to
(17:46):
say like, well, if you have cold feet, shouldn't marry them.
You should be one hundred percent, because I think that
there will be some people who have those feelings going
into what is a huge commitment. It means that you're
taking that commitment seriously. However, if that is, if you
have prolonged and consistent cold feet where you are unsure
and you are really kind of grappling with these these
(18:08):
two polar opposites between like living your life and settling
down with what's comfortable, and you're less excited about the
settling down with what's comfortable. Part of me says that
maybe you're just not ready to marry that person, and
if you are consistently unsure, do not forge headfirst into
getting married. Because I would love to know, and maybe
it's worth us doing a poll of people who were divorced.
(18:29):
If you're listening to this podcast and you've been divorced
in the past, did you have those reservations before getting married?
Because I know that we can say, oh, it's really
normal for people to have these feelings, but I would
be really curious to know how many people had those
feelings and their marriage ended in divorce in the long run.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Anyway, that's my question. Pull that shit.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
I have a few other things I want to add
into this because I think that this is a question
that a lot of people can relate to in a way.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Do you have any cold feet going into marrying Ben?
Speaker 4 (18:58):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:58):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
No, I had no at all, but neither This is
what I want to talk about.
Speaker 4 (19:03):
I hate bringing age into it, but I'm going to
because I think sometimes it does matter. But what I
do want to say is you are only twenty four
and you have been with him for five years, and
you are having these feelings now of like what else
is out there? I can tell you there is a
lot out there. And I'm not saying that in terms
of people like there's someone better for you. I'm just
saying every little decision you make, and sometimes I go
(19:24):
down these rabbit holes of life, like every decision you
make changes the course of your life forever, where you live,
what job you get, what relationship you're in, do you
have kids with that person? Like every single thing, And
I go back to thinking, Wow, if I never moved
to Italy at this age, I wouldn't have done this.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
I wouldn't have done this, wouldn't got that.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
Job and all the way to like that, wouldn't have
put me on the Bachelor and then whatever. I just
think twenty four is young if you're having those feelings.
If you are twenty four and you are obsessed with
your partner and you're so like, I can't wait to marry,
then that's different. But you're twenty four and you are
saying I want to know what's out there in the world,
and I want to live for myself and even say
I want to be like selfish and prioritize myself and
(20:02):
work with myself. That is your body screaming at you
that this might not be right for you. And maybe
this person is right for you, but not right now,
and maybe he needs to get his shit together. Because
the other thing that I think shouldn't be a sentence
you're saying in your relationship is we have been relatively
solid since then when you're marrying someone. Maybe my standards
(20:23):
are too high. I don't want relatively I don't want
to feel relatively stable when I'm going into that relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I want to fucking toast solid. I want to pour
a slab down like I want that cement to be thick.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
And so I think there's some things in there that
I want you to, like, break down and think of it,
because you wrote these words, and I think deep down
you probably know that, if anything, you need some space
to work it out, and maybe you do want to
come back to him, but you might fucking go and flourish.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Okay, Question number two, This one I think is going
to be a little bit divisive.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
But let's try it.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Recently, I told my husband of seventeen years WOW, that
I wanted to get another tattoo. He expressed in the
past that he doesn't really like my tattoos, but I
love that and I have quite a few, so yolo,
I told him I was going to get another one
on my fore arm, something that I have been thinking
about for a while. He said, while of course he
won't stop me, he thinks that he will find it
(21:14):
and me less attractive if I was to get it.
Fast forward, and I went ahead and got the tattoo. Anyway,
it's been two months. I absolutely love it. I know
it's my body and also my choice. And he said
exactly the same thing. However, just recently he told me
that he now finds me less attractive. I feel that
this is more of a punishment just because I went
(21:36):
ahead and did it. I don't actually think that it's
impacted the way I look that much. I'm really hurt
by what he has said, as he can't take this back.
Where are we supposed to go from here? Now that
he's telling me that he finds me less attractive simply
because I have a tattoo, should it really matter?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
That much.
Speaker 4 (21:52):
You can't tell your partner that you're not attracted them
unless you're ready to leave.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
You can't because you can't take that back.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I don't even know what you do with that, Laura.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
You and I spoke about this in the past, and
we've always joked about It's always a bit funny. Funny,
like was like, can you tell your partner what to
do with their hair? Can you tell them what tattoos
to get? Because Ben has a lot of tattoos. Got
Russell Crow's face next to his dick. That sounds worse
than it is. Ben has a giant If you don't know,
like his favorite movie is Gladiator. He doesn't have a
crush on Russell Crowe, but he got a theme down
(22:22):
his whole thigh of a Gladiator scene. But what it
means is Russell Crow's head is in the vicinity.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
I honestly, when I first saw this, and especially when
Britt doesn't have any tattoos and you're not someone who
likes them, I was shocked to my core. He has
an entire movie scene tattooed on his thigh.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
It's a very of Russell Crowe's face.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I just imagine, what did you think the first time
you took his pants off, were you like.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
Dude, what the fuck is that? I didn't even notice it.
He's a specimen. I didn't notice the tattoo.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Okay, hold on, what if he had no tattoos and
he went and got that tattoo.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Now, yes, this.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Is where it's different because he already had them.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
It was just who he is, right, and like, you
can't see his tattoo when he's closed, if he's got
shorts on or.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Whatever, you don't see it.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
It's a masterpiece.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
It's a master piece.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
In his defense, the tattoo is very well done. He
went to one of the best and it looks like
Russell Crowe. The detail is amazing.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Anyway, it'd be so sad if your partner had a
tattoo of Russell krob But it was one of those
rule like botch jobs.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
What do you want? And it just like kind of
looked like Russell Krowe but melting off his thigh.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
What I'm getting at here is Ben quite likes tattoos.
He's got a few, but he's not covered. But he
would love to get so many more. And so Ben
wants to get all these other pieces like big chest
pieces and whatever.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And I have said to him.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
Really honestly, what this guy said, I was like, because
he'll ask my opinion, what do you think of this?
I will say complete honesty, I don't like it? Can
I say? Can I say? And I will love you less?
If you don't, I will leave you.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I will relates over, I'll never have sex with you
again because it's your body's my body.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
Yeah, your body's not your choice. But he always knows
he can get what he wants, right. I'm not gonna
love him less, but I think loving and attractiveness superficially
like we're obviously talking superficial physical. I am not attracted
to big tattoos like that, but it's not gonna make
me love him less. And I would never tell him
(24:15):
after the fact, but I have been honest with him
before and I said, hey, I don't like that tattoo.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
I would prefer you didn't get it. Can we look
at something else?
Speaker 4 (24:23):
I'm not stopping him from getting a tattoo, or I'm like,
what other options are there that you would like?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Because I know that.
Speaker 4 (24:29):
If he was covered in all of these big things
that I don't like, would I look at it?
Speaker 3 (24:32):
And fucking get wet. Probably not, but it's not going
to make me love him any less.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
But this is where this guy went wrong.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
I think he did the right thing by being honest
and saying, hey, not for me, But he fucked up
when he said, like, I am less, I'm not attracted
to anymore.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Like you absolutely cannot say that to me.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
It's super emotionally manipulative. And this question screams of I
didn't get my way, so I'm gonna punish you. I'd
said all the right things. It's your body, your choice.
I don't like it, but you do whatever's right for you.
And then when you did what's right for you, you
turn around. The person turns around and says, I don't
find you attractive anymore. That's punishment, That's what that is.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
What tattoo has a woman gone and gotten on her
forearm that has made him be like whoo, That's what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And that's why I think it's emotionally manipulative, because at
the end of the day, he might not find that
tattoo attractive. And I say this because like you can
easily find a tattoo not attractive, it doesn't mean you
don't find your partner attractive, and obviously things like the
placement of it come into effect. Like maybe you're someone
who doesn't want like a full face tattoo on your partner.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That's okay, I get that that's like really aggressive, really aggressive.
All right, that's a lot, it's a lot of process.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
But at the same time, I think you know by
the sounds of things, if it's on your forearm, it's
relatively you know, it's on a non I'm going to
say it's like on a non important body part, but
your forearms relatively important. But you know what I mean, Like,
it's not somewhere where he has to look at it
all the time every day.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
Well, your forums, you do you see your forum?
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Like you see that that's I wouldn't say that that's
hidden constantly like most of the year.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
You would probably see that. I don't.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I think I think it's an emotionally manipulative thing to say,
and I think that there is no way, there is
nowhere to go after you tell your partner that you
no longer find them attractive. I think it's not only punishment,
but it's really cruel. And unless you actually don't find
them attractive, you don't want to have sex with them anymore,
and you are ready to deal with the repercussions that
that is going to have on your relationship. Then I
(26:27):
think that it is just it's relationship sabotage. Like you
are ripping a fucking grenade and throwing it into your
relationship and you're like, well, let's see how that goes down,
because you can never take that back.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
It does sound like he's butt her.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
He's butt like he didn't get his way.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
I mean, obviously everyone's so different. Like Matt is covered
in tattoos. He's got loads of different tattoos. One in particular,
Do I find it really attractive?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
No? Is that the turtle?
Speaker 3 (26:52):
One?
Speaker 1 (26:52):
He's got a fucking turtle on his thigh?
Speaker 4 (26:54):
So he Matt last, sorry, would you rather Russell Crowe
or a turtle on your thost So it's a turtle
that kind of looks like a lizard.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Last year he lost a bet.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
The bet was if he beat brother in law in
a race, whoever was the loser would get this like
turtle tattooed on them. And Matt didn't win the race,
and he got a turtle. And it's not small. It's
like the size of my hand tattooed on his calf.
Do I love the tattoo? I don't care for it.
I'm like completely, like non phased either way. Do I
find him less attractive because he's got it a turtle tattooed? No,
(27:24):
I couldn't care less. When you've been in a relationship
for seventeen years, your scope for what is attractive on
that person is far wider than what you might find
attractive on someone else.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
I just don't know, and I don't quite know what
the question is because I don't know.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
What you do with it.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
I think it's like, where do you go from with this?
And also should it be such a big deal? Should
it getting a tattoo cause this much distress in the relationship?
Speaker 1 (27:47):
And the answer is.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
No, Well no, I don't necessarily agree with that laws
I think, and not just tattoos. I'm taking it outside
of tattoos. Right, If something bothers you, it bothers you.
It's something's going to bother one person in a relationship
that's not going to bother another. And that could be
the way somebody lives their life, Like are they are
slow by they messy? Do they drink too much? Do
they play video games. Do they get tattoos? Like, we
(28:10):
can't tell you what should and shouldn't bother you. I
think it's okay that he is bothered by something he
told you personally he doesn't like it, but his behavior
and response is not okay, and the two can be
different and should be different. I would absolutely want my
partner at that point in my relationship to be being
honest with me. You're twenty years deep. If you can't
be honest, then when are you going to be honest?
(28:30):
But he should have reiterated.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Where he went wrong is.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Saying, of course, I'm gonna love you regardless, like he
didn't give any security to the situation.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
He was honest and said.
Speaker 4 (28:39):
It's not for me, but that shouldn't What he's doing
now is punishment. What he's doing now is pretty gross,
and it definitely sounds more like there's no way he's
looking at it for I'm taddy and be like, oh,
I kind of sex with you. It's definitely coming down
to the fact that he tried to push you to
go in a direction and you chose otherwise, and.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Now he's but her.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
It's one thing to preach body autonomy. It's one thing
to say all the right things. It's your body, your choice,
you do what's right for you. But if you're saying
that laced with I'm going to have a real issue
with this after the fact, then you actually don't believe
in body autonomy at all.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Now, hear me out.
Speaker 4 (29:12):
I need to get my IUD replaced, and I suggested
to my boyfriend of two years that we split the cost.
I live in the US and my insurance doesn't cover it. Now,
insurance in the US there's like a care plan that
most of the time covers this kind of stuff. She
doesn't have it, and I did look into it. Well,
it can be up to eighteen hundred US dollars, so
(29:32):
I'm pretty sure that it's like maybe two and a
half grand if you like converted that to the Ausie
dollar something. Regardless, it's a lot of money. He is
flat out refusing and is acting shocked like it is
so bizarre that I would even ask. I just think
that we both need to be equally responsible for birth control,
and since I have to undergo the whole thing and
deal with any side effects, I think it's only fair
(29:53):
that he helps with something. He even said, well, it's
your choice, So if you want to do it, then
do it. What fucked hard?
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Where the fuck are we finding these men? Where did
you find him in the US?
Speaker 4 (30:04):
He probably sports Trump. No, it's a no okay, So
he said, well, it's your choice. If you want to
do it, then do it. But believe me, the man
would kick up a fuss if I insisted. He always
used condoms for context. We both earn exactly the same
salary and split almost everything in our relationship.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Am I being unreasonable? Break up with him?
Speaker 4 (30:22):
He is usually an understanding person, but somehow about this
he's not getting my point.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Break up with him. Don't break up with him.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Also, I just want to say, if anyone can hear,
it's because poppies struck to me, and she's breathing really heavily.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
She is a small sign of Yeah, she has tiny signs.
Goddamn it. I why part of me would Okay?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
I know I said break up with him, and that
might say it's sound extreme, but I actually don't know
if it's that extreme.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Hear me out.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I feel like this is very deeply misogynistic, and he
doesn't take things that are important to you or things
that affect the both of you like he is saying
that the entire respet responsibility of birth, control, of birthing,
of you know, anything to do with fertility is your responsibility,
which is inequivalently not okay and is incorrect. When you're
(31:12):
in a relationship, that is something that you share responsibility for.
And to me, that is a massive fucking red flag.
Him not seeing something that every day he benefits from
as part of his responsibility, knowing full well that this
is going to cost you potentially two thousand dollars, to me,
is utterly insane. Not only does it show that he's
incredibly selfish, but it shows that he's deeply misogynistic when
(31:34):
it comes to anything that pertains to women's healthcare. How's
he going to react if you do get pregnant and
you decide that you want an abortion?
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Is that for you to manage? Is that for you
to take care of?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
How is he going to react if you get pregnant
and you are the one having to ub front hospital
bills or everything else? For me, there has to be
a bigger conversation in this, And if he is unable
to see how he benefits from this, then I would
be firstly saying I'm not paying for the own and
you can wear a condom. I don't care if you
kick up a fuss. You can wear a condom every
single time we have sex. And if you are not
(32:07):
okay with that, they were not having sex.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
That's it.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Yeah, this is the biggest red flag for me, Like,
this is wild that he's like, fuck your body, you
do it if you want.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
It's not even just the money, right people.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And maybe I don't want to say men don't know.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
They fucking should not. They should know about it.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
They don't, but that's not an excuse they don't because
they can't care.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
They should do.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
They have any idea what it does to a woman's body.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
It's not just like you're not just taking a pill
or you're not just putting something inside you. It is
complete control and manipulations of what should be natural hormone
production for your body. Like it was one of those
things that we got told we had to do as
a woman. Oh, you go to the doctor when you're
sixteen and you get the pill, You go and put
an idine and you don't ask questions. It was what
women did. It was just just a part of it.
(32:53):
It fucks your body so much. And I'm not saying
don't take it. There is something for everyone. I was
on it for like sixteen years. But I don't think
he has any understanding of what it does to your body.
But it's interesting that he says that. You say he
would kick up a fuss over condoms. Sorry, condoms are
the easiest thing you can do. It's not going to
cost you eighteen hundred dollars. It's not going to change
(33:15):
his body. It's not going to send you guys crazy.
It's not putting a foreign object inside of your body.
Here are the options. We other don't have sex, we
have a kid, which you're not. But you just say
that because he won't do it. We don't have sex,
you have a kid, or you wear a condom. What's
it going to be the.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Part of this question, though, Britt where she says, you know,
he said, you know, it's my choice, like I'm making
this decision or whatever it is. I can't remember the
exact words that we use, but he's like, it's your choice.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
You've made that to me.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
He says, I will worrd it to you. He said, quote, well,
it's your choice, so if you want to do it,
then do it.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
What he probably means by that, and I'm not this
is not me playing Devil's advocate, but what he probably
means by that is, oh, well, you've chose the most
expensive option. Like you've chose the IUD option, which is
probably more expensive than being on the pill. You have
made the decision that is right for your body, and
we all know women it takes so long to figure
out what works for you. Unfortunately, the IUD where you
(34:05):
are is the most expensive option. You haven't chosen it
because it's the Goal Class or the Rolls Royce.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
You've chosen it because it works for you. It doesn't
work for everyone.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Some people have IUDs and they have like hellish reactions
to it and hellish outcomes. So like, I think having
that explain it's not your job to have to explain
this shit to him. Unfortunately, when you are in a
relationship with someone who has chosen to be fucking ignorant,
it means that either you leave them or you do
have to explain it to them. That's the only two
(34:32):
options you have. So in this instance, you can explain
those things to him. You can do exactly what you've said,
Brit And it's like, well, here are your options, either.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
This or this or we have a baby.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Yeah, Like, it is my body, my choice, and I
don't want to choose that, so let's talk about the
other option totally.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
It is your body, your choice, But he benefits every
single day from the choice that you make, and ultimately
he should financially contribute to that benefit. And that's how
I think we feel about It's how most people, normal
people would feel about it. If he continues to think
that he shouldn't have to pay for something that he
directly benefits from, that is the biggest fucking red flag.
(35:09):
It also shows how he's going to behave in future,
like in other conversations around things that might not feel
or seem equitable from the outset. And I would say, I,
you know, look, maybe don't leave him straight away, but
I would definitely be considering what type of person he
is and why he feels so strongly that he shouldn't
have to contribute to this, Like why is this the
(35:30):
hill that he's going to die on? And if it
was so important to my partner, regardless of whether I
agreed or disagreed, if something was so important to my partner,
I would contribute financially because I benefit from it and
I love them.
Speaker 4 (35:43):
But like I would give money to my partner, whether
it was for something benefiting both of us or if
they just got stuck and any money for anything, I
don't have to benefit from it, because that's a choice.
In a partnership, you're supposed to be there to help
each other out totally.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
But the fact that he has dug his heels in
so deeply on this specific topic show how misogynistic it is.
It shows his true colors about these types of topics,
and I would try and dig a little deeper to
understand what is his because, like I mean, I know
you've been together for two years, and I know you
share and are equitable on a lot of other things,
but this is something that I think his true colors
(36:16):
are showing, and so I would want to gauge more
about who he is as a person when it comes
to these topics. These are things you need to discuss
because this, to me is the tip of an iceberg.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
That's a really fucking ugly iceberg. All right, Next question.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Last question is a financial question.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
Four months ago, me and my friend bought tickets seventy
five dollars each to a live show where we are
sitting together. This is purely to hang out because we're
super busy and never get to catch up. So I
think she's saying that is in it's more about us
spending time together than the actual show.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Yeah, they were going to.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
She just found out that she has a wedding to
attend on the night and she can no longer go.
I would not have booked these tickets to this show
if it wasn't to spend time with her. What do
you think her responsibility is now? Is the one that
pulled out? Should she pay for my ticket and we
just both don't go? Does she give me her ticket
so that I can go with someone else? Or is
(37:08):
she free to give the ticket to anyone that she
wants to give it to because she was the original
ticket owner. Okay, I think I can answer this one
really quickly.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
She doesn't have to pay for your ticket, because I
think that's expecting too much. I think it is a
pretty fucking rogue and unkind thing just to be like, Hey,
so I'm not going anymore. I'm gonna sell these tickets
on gum Tree and you can go with a complete stranger,
Like I feel like that is a pretty unfair thing
to do. Or she could give you the ticket you
(37:35):
can go with someone. I personally would give the ticket
to my friend and be like, hey, I can't go
take my ticket.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Take whoever you want to.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
However, there is another option here that you haven't explored
if you don't want to go.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
If you were like I actually didn't want to go
to this concert.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
I was only going because we were going to hang
out together, I would say to my friend, Hey, I
know you've pulled out. I'm kind of bummed about it.
The only reason why I was going was because I
will to spend time with you. I actually don't really
want to go to the concert without you. Why don't
you both sell the tickets? Because someone is going to
be way more inclined to buy two tickets together than
what they are to buy a single random road ticket.
(38:11):
Just both sell your tickets, sell them to someone else,
and then, like you know, you might maybe you sell
them a twenty bucks less or whatever it is.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
You know we usually saw them for more.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
You scalp them, Well, it.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Depends depends on whether it's sold out right right who
it is. You can like, try that and if that
doesn't work. Then yeah, she should just be kind enough
to give you the ticket and you can take someone else.
You shouldn't be out of pocket because she can't go.
Speaker 4 (38:31):
It does make me I want to know what the
friend has said she wants to do, because like, for
you to write this in means she hasn't offered you
the ticket means she's doing something rogue.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Otherwise she wouldn't have written in it. So fucking weird.
Men's be like, hey, I can't come, so I've given
it to John from work.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
He'll be going with you.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
It's like there's a weird flex.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
You've got two options exactly that she either needs to
give you the ticket you can fucking take whoever you want,
any friends you want, or if you want to give
them away whatever you can, or you literally put them
both together on market and you sell them together. To me,
there's like, this is two options in a box, like
you don't do anything else.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
I think that there's a bigger question here that actually
has nothing to do with tickets. Should these conversations be
uncomfortable with your friend? Like should you be able to
talk this level with your friends? Because it seems as
though when we get these types of like, Hey, my
friend did this, and I don't know what the right
way or thing to do is. It's like, of course
there's an etiquette to it, but also there's like a
transparency and kind of like what is an okay conversation
(39:28):
to have with your friend?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Are you being overbearing? Are you expecting too much?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I think it's so fine for you to be like
I don't want to go to the concert with the
funking random stranger. Yeah, what's the solution? What's the solution?
Because I only go with Frank. Don't even go Frank.
I'm not going with Frank. But I think that some
people are really conflict avoidant and so that feels like conflict,
but it shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
That is it's not conflict. No, it's just like not
And also we're all so time poor.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
No one wants to go and do an activity that
isn't the activity that they want to do, So like,
unless you're absolutely fucking like stop, Taylor Swift, Yeah, I
would go there with anyone. I'd go there, you know
what I mean. I think it's fine. I think you
can have this conversation. Shouldn't feel weird about it. And also, yes,
(40:13):
I think that a non asshole friend would either just
give you the ticket or sell them together.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
But also please let.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Us know, I what did she want to do with it?
And be who are you going to see? Like that's
what I don't know. Hi, guys, please keep your ask
gun Cuts coming in. You can write into Instagram, which
is lifeun Cut podcast as gun Cut you're always anonymous,
or if you want to take that anonymity to a
whole nother level, you can email us.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
At Hallo at life on Hume. Make it a burner account.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Should we get those.
Speaker 4 (40:40):
A lot of people send them from burner accounts to
our emails because they really really don't want to.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Do you ever think that potentially if someone's done that,
it's someone that we know, like it could be someone
within a friendship circle, or it's like they they're never
going to know.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
I'm just going to know. I don't think it's ever
people we know.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
I think it's there's Sometimes they're the more salacious ones
or ones that maybe they know someone else's to the
podcast and they just want nah, they don't they want
zero chance of it ever getting out. But I can
tell you we don't even look at your profiles like
you're so nonal.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
We don't we don't. We don't do I mean, we
don't do any research I have before.
Speaker 4 (41:10):
Sometimes we're not like getting pregnant by the colors And
I looked at that one.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Did you just wanted to see they're private concening? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
I also want to apologize if you've been well. I mean,
if you've listened to this, if you've watched it on YouTube,
you would actually get it. I have had Poppy strat
to me the entire time. So if there's been weird
peeps or weird, that is because she's been making noise.
And also, I'm just gonna apologize because I'm super sleep
deprived and I'm doing my best.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Guys, I'm holding on for dear life.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
There's nothing to apologize for sleep deprivation. You're great, it's
just the pterodactyl sounds.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Yeah, No, it's not that. It's that I find it
more challenging to collect my thoughts.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
You want me edit those out, You're just on it.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
We edit it out.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
Also, guys, YouTube, go hit subscribe. Watch.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
There's heaps of.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Shorts, all the long form, all of our interviews.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
It's really really cool.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
You can get some poppy up there. You can see
poppies top of her head.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
And also a lot of people are finding a really
good way to bond with it partners at home, they
put the ask gun cuts on the on the big
screen on the TV via YouTube, play the question, chat
it out with their partner or their flatmates or whoever
it is before they play our response. But it's a
really good, like conversation starter for someone in your life
an end, if you think it's going to relate to
something and you want your partner like it's a good
(42:18):
way to try and get them on board if you're
trying to like if you're disagreeing with something or no.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
It's what also just a really nice way of finding
out your partner's morals and their moral compass, whether they
agree with something or don't agree with it. I mean, like,
for example, that contraception question. Play that to your partner
and have a conversation about it because it's non accusatory,
it's an open question, and you can really gauge, like
what is the type of person that your partner is
and how would they navigate these types of situations.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
And then we have a mass exodus.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
And then everyone can break up with their partners anyway, guys,
that is it from us And you know the.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
Dress, Say Mum, say Dad, Tay dog Ka, friends and
Chaid the love because we.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
Love love
Speaker 4 (43:00):
A the Modal Pampers
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