November 4, 2025 • 51 mins
Britt has tried to unpack her ‘Roman Empire’ this week that has to do with her husband’s huge tattoo that is actually somewhat related to the Roman Empire.
Have you ever seen a monument or a wonder of the world on a walk of shame? We know this is a niche call out but it will likely make more sense if you’re reading it after listening to us speak about it in today’s episode.
When it comes to TV series or films, are you a repeat watcher or do you like to keep it fresh?
Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? Have Our ‘Symbols’ Of Success Changed?
There’s been a very viral and very controversial article published in Vogue that argues that for many straight women today, having a boyfriend no longer carries the same status it once did. Rather than being a milestone or achievement, partnership can feel like something to hide or soften online.
We weigh in on how the trends of content have shifted and how we feel about this author’s take.
We also speak about how Keeshia feels completely indifferent about marriage and some of the reasons that she has never dreamt of the ‘marriage milestone’.
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Hosted by Britt Hockley & Keeshia Pettit
Produced by Keeshia Pettit
Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford
Recorded on Cammeraygal Land
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And Keisha is still feeling in for the wonderful Laura,
who's still so still she will have a baby for
a very long time. The baby's not going anywhere, so she's.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Still a mother of three.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
She's still on seventy what would he say, seventy five
percent maternity leave. I don't know. She pops in when
she feels like it. She does an episode a week.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, was that a deliberate pun?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Pops in? Oh yeah, I was in with Poppy. She
pops in with pop with pops out. Hey my Roman empire.
This week, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
See if you guys listened to the episode that just
came out a couple of days ago, we just stumbled
across this fact that was not a fact. But we
started to talk about the fact that Ben, my husband,
has like this huge Russell crow tattoo on his thigh.
(00:55):
And that wasn't a planned conversation of the podcast, but
we went there and we got well, it got me
thinking a lot. Kesha was sort of like why where's
the obsession from? Like why does he love Gladiator so much?
And I didn't really know, and I've been really trying
to think about it and unpack it. We've got a
lot of questions coming in as well from you guys,
just being like, seems like a weird obsession for a
(01:16):
giant tattoo. So I decided to ask Ben. Now, I
only just decided to ask him, like fifteen minutes ago.
I just thought I'll call him and just see, without
giving him any time to prep or think about it,
and just see where this obsession comes from, because he's
watched it, maybe like it's got to be thirty forty
fifty times or something like.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
It's something ludicrous. I've never seen it.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Not even Oh my god, don't let Ben hear you
say that.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
No, I was really surprised when I saw because I
think when you told me about the tattoo, I pictured something,
and then when I saw it, I was like, oh,
that is a lot more elaborate, at a lot larger
than what I was picturing in my head. It's actually
like it takes he's a big boy. He's got big
legs because he's all legs and he's all, legs, yeah,
(02:00):
it actually takes up the large majority of one entire thigh.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I'm gonna ask him for a photo, and if I'm
allowed to post it, surely you won't care. So anyway,
I wanted to get to the bottom of what it
actually was, where this deep obsession came from, and why
he could watch the same thing over and over again.
And I say that I don't know about uksh. If
I watch something, I find it hard to watch something twice,
like anything, a TV series, a movie, whatever, even if
(02:26):
it was a movie one of my favorite movies from
when I was a teenager. For me, I'm not a
repeat watcher because I find it like, oh, I know
what's happening, and you know, I know the plot, I
know the ending. I'm not into it.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm the complete opposite because I go to sleep watching TV.
I know this is everyone says it's not good, and
I know that I'm the one obsessed with sleep. But
I go to sleep watching TV. But it specifically has
to be something that I've seen before. Otherwise I feel
like I'm trying to stay a week so that I
can work out what's happening. So I watched the same thing,
but you watch it to go over and over and
over and over, but you watch it.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
To go to sleep. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Even sometimes when I just like want I have dinner
or something like anything in the background, I will put
on something that I've seen before. I think it's because,
like I know that I enjoy it. I know that
I don't have to pay complete attention to it. Like
maybe that's what it is actually that I can kind
of like scroll and get away with it. But I'm
a repeat watcher. There's something comforting about it. There's something
that just makes me like know what I'm in for.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
It's so weird to me.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Let's poll it. It's so weird to me that there
are people out there that are happy to just like
watch something that many times when you know the dialogue,
you know the plot, you know the intricacies of it.
But having said that, I get it, I get maybe twice,
maybe three times. I don't get Gladiator like forty times.
That's un common because I haven't seen it, so I
(03:45):
need to watch it.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I always watch TV shows over and over again. I
don't watch movies over and over again. That feels like
different to me.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
The only show I've ever been able to watch and
repeat is Friends ever And that's because nothing will ever compare,
like it will always be funny, and because there's so
many seasons, you'll always go back and like see something
or hear something that you miss the first time.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
The one thing I can't stand about shows that were
recorded back then, though, is that they have that canned
laughter built into it, which just feels very awkward now,
like if you watch TV in the cast, you mean,
or like when they were making the TV show. It's
for a lot of shows that were made in like
the nineties and early two thousands, they have laughter that
they have put in from either like a studio audience
(04:29):
or they've kind of put it in in post, which
feels even more strange.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Well, Friends was always in front of a live audience,
which is amazing. So Friends laughter is organic and real.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
But they would have had to do multiple takes. You
need different angles, you need to keep it doing.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Speak like that about Friends, Like.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I just mean, I think they would have had like
laughed tracks that they would have just superimposed into the
actual audio of the show, which just feels so so
cringe to me.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Now That's what I'll do if I made a comedy,
I'll be like, laugh yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
To me, it's like I feel as though I'm being
instructed on when to laugh, and I'm like, I just
want to laugh when I actually want to laugh.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But laughter makes you laugh. It's probably really smart because
when you hear an audience laugh and must subconsciously do
something to you as well, that's like, oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Laugh.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I just wondering what it is about Gladiator that does
something subconsciously for Ben, because, to.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Be honest, I was not expecting this to be his
response as to why he enjoyed it so much. I
just love him so much.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I'm constantly learning things about him, and his answer really
surprised me. Have a listen, what is it about Gladiator
that you're so obsessed with? Like, why do you watch
it over and over in your spare time? Why do
you have it tattooed on your leg? Ne're Willie? Why?
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Well, First of all, he stands for something. He stands
for honor, he stands to He's obviously been wrong done,
but he stands for the greater things. So he's not
just fighting for his life, is standing in for what
he believes. Obviously in the movie, it's he was picked
to be the next caesar and then his halfway brother
(06:06):
gets it, so he's like he's not he's not avenging
his brother. He's avenging for the greater good of Rome.
That's you know, he's fighting for the greater goods of Rome,
and he does it with with honor and integrity. Okay,
and yeah, so obviously that's one of the things.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Okay, Yeah, the other.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Thing, the mask is really cool. The mask that he
was wearing is obviously like being a gladiator is like
the masks sort of.
Speaker 6 (06:33):
You yeah, like if you're a gladiator, you're you're they
were obviously there to entertain the people of Rome, but
you are, you're a fighter, you know, it's it's survival
life of that. I can see you laughing.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
At least ten stages deeper than what I was anticipating.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Sorry, that was so deep. And he didn't even didn't
blink blink, He did not blink. He just went straight
into launching about the integrity and like, I just not
what I was expecting. I just thought he'd be like
the fighting or like like a real manly response.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
I was wondering if it was like he's an athlete,
there's like athleticism to it.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I really wasn't expecting it to be this like moral deep.
That's why I've watched it fifty times. It reminds me
of a greater good.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Now that he's sorry, before I get into that deeper
part the masks. It went from like being really deeper
and moral and all this integrity based answer to just like,
oh and then he has a cool mask. I think
that that was a very polarizing answer. But to go
back and break it down now that I think about it,
Ben does pride himself on having integrity, Like, that's the
(07:36):
kind of person that he is. That's the person he
is with his sporting teams, as the person he is
with me. It's a person he is with his friends.
So like, the answer, I guess makes sense when I
think about it, But I just didn't expect him to
be so obsessed with it because this warrior was fighting
for the greater good. I just thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Have I ever told you that the very first time
I saw the Coliseum was on a walker?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Shame you have, but please please tell everybody you get so.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
I don't know if I shared this on the podcast.
Sorry if I have, I've got a bit of brain fog.
We'll get into that a little bit later. But the
very first time I went to Italy, I would have
been like eighteen years old, and I went over there
with two of my girlfriends who were a tiny bit
older than me, and of that group, I was the
quiet one, which would have you absolutely shook.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Us to the call that is a wild groom if
you were.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
We touched down in Rome and for some reason we
went on some like pub crawl that night, as in
that was like an organized group. I don't know who
had found this pub crawl. I know it wasn't me.
But the next thing I know is that we were
along with like a group of about forty people going
through Rome, drinking at different bars, and we met these
guys that were from the UK and they were really
(08:45):
nice and really sweet, and I had really gotten on
with one of them obviously, and the night had progressed
and I just remember it coming to the point where
like the sun was coming up. I have no idea
what time it was, but I remember kind of saying like, oh,
you know, we've got a big day of turisy things play.
And so I got my shoes, and I got my
bag from the night before and I was walking back
to our hotel and I was like following the dot
(09:06):
on Google Maps or Apple Mats, I can't remember, and
I looked up and right there to my right hand
side was the coliseum and I was like, holy shit,
it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Look at it.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
It's right there.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
What a moment to have you just conquered this man.
And now if you're in the Colisseum where you've conquered Rome.
What a beautiful interception of real life? Do you know
what to you probably saw it at the best time
you could, like no sunrise. She pulls out your SLR
camera that you.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Did for your photo shoot the night before, start taking selfie,
sends it to mom, Mom, look.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
At where I am.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
That's so funny. You made me just think of all
the time that I've just walked out with people traveling?
Do you keep them on? Like were you at that
time where you added everyone that you met traveling on Facebook? Yeah?
Or Instagram? And then like years later, someone pops up
on your feet and.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You're like, who is that? Per one hundred percent?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Why do we do that?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I think because it was the thing that was done
at the time. It also feels.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Like if you're sharing a different part of you, you
can probably share a Facebook.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Page, your Instagram hand.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, But every now and then they will pop up
and I'll be like, where on earth do I know
that person from.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Especially in Mexico, especially once.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
You didn't look up with you know, the people that
you met traveling, especially if you were on like a
tour group. I felt like I went on a couple
like Top Decks and Kintiquis when I was in my
teens and early twenties. And there'll be people that you
just feel like you got so close to and you
just thought you were going to be friends forever because
you shared the most amazing three weeks or five weeks,
(10:39):
the most amazing night in the course and yeah, the
most amazing walker shame. And then you often will never
see or think about them ever again in life. And
every now and then something will come up on Facebook
and I'll be like, who on earth is that? Like,
oh my god, that's that girl that I was like
hanging out with in Italy for two weeks back in
twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
There was some wild story that I have not thought
about until now, when Arry and I were traveling around
because we traveled. We did this like big three year
around the world trip and we started in South America
and went six or eight months through South America up
through Central America, and we did it all. And we
met this girl in Columbia, this blonde, beautiful girl, very young,
(11:19):
really into partying. Scherry and I never did drugs or
anything like we would drink, but we've never been into
drugs in our entire life, but she was. She sort
of went parted. We don't care like everyone in Colombia.
It's like literally when in Rome, like sorry, it's the
home of cocaine. So anyway, I remember, I remember her,
and I can still bring her face up and mind you,
this is thirteen years ago. Anyway, we were Facebook friends,
(11:42):
never saw again. We spent like a week at a
hostel together, and then something popped up on the Facebook
like eight years or something later, and she apparently got
arrested for like try and get coke out of the country,
like proper, like.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Way, is this cocaine Cassie? Yeah? Spoiler no, no, there
was another one.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah yeah, not cocaine Cassie.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I just saw it pop up and I was like,
oh my God, I don't need to be friends with you.
So I unfriended her because I was like, who is
that girl?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Why unfriended?
Speaker 3 (12:09):
After that, I would find that so intriguing that there
is no way in hell I would be able to
unfriend that person.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do you want to be friends with some drug smuggle?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
It doesn't mean that you're friends with them, but I'm
definitely interested in why it happens.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Next. Sorry, I have a very niche face from fresh Brook,
very new face. Why can I say that niche Facebook
friend list? So yeah, if you've maybe into my friend list,
it's exclusive, it's and it means that we're tired. I can't.
I can't be tired with a criminal.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
That is so funny.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
No way, there is no part of me that would
be able to unfriend that. I just find that stuff
so interesting.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
You don't own friend everyone. You're friends with, every boy,
you're friends with, everyone you've made out with since you're
about twelve.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, that's true with everyone. Maybe it's just my world tour.
That's how I remember my traveling experiences. I know for
certain I wouldn't be the only person like this.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
So if you have, if you have discovered one of
the new natural or non natural wonders of the world
on a walk of shame. I would love to know
about it. I know that this is a very niche
call out, but I feel as though there only has
to be one, but really good story of what you
got to discover because you hooked up with someone and
you were trying to find your way back home. Have
(13:16):
you ever ran into one of your travel hookups in
your normal life, because I ran into one last year.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
No way, Yeah, it would have to be a year ago.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
It was in the Sunshine Coast. Neither of us are
from the Sunshine Coast. We'd hooked up in twenty sixteen
in Greece. I had never seen him again. We'd spoken
a little bit afterwards, but it wasn't like it was
something that we were going to continue on. And then
I was up in the Sunshine Coast with my now partner.
I was just like ordering lunch and I turned to
(13:45):
my side and I.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Was like, hello, did he remember you? Yeah, we had
a nice catch up, and he's married.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
And he's like quickly caught up over It was one
of those awkward things where because we were both there
with partners, I was like, I don't know how much
of this story to tell?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Like, I don't know how to be like, because you
have to give context to your partner, right, but you
don't want to make them feel uncomfortable. But also I
don't think it would make him that uncomfortable to be like, oh,
you know, we hooked up literally ten years ago when
I was traveling.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I have never run into any one, but I have
never you guys know, I was never into a strip Aussies,
Like I was never into an Aussie. But I did
catch up with an ex. Remember a lot of you
ogs might remember I spoke about this guy that I
dated for a while when I was living in London.
Everything was going really well until I discovered that his
families were billionaires. Remember that guy? No, yeah, don't you remember?
(14:39):
So he was this really nice guy. He took me
to the tennis on a date I'll never forget, and
he put this bed on it the tennis in the
tennis final, and he and I were like, we're only
a few weeks deep, and we'd been spending a lot
of time together. But I didn't even know his last name, right, Like,
you're dating three or four you're going three or four
dates a week, but we were just enjoying the process.
So I didn't google him, didn't have him on anything.
(15:01):
And I remember we went to a tennis grand final
and he's like, I'm going to put a bet on
and I was like, oh, cool, this could be fun.
I'll put a bet on the other person and like,
whoever wins, you know, pays the other bet. I remember
him saying, no, no, no, no, it's fine. I'm gonna
put like one hundred and fifty on and I was like, done,
one hundred and fifty each. The other person paid uses
(15:22):
that money to pay for dinner, and I thought he
meant one hundred and fifty dollars. He put one hundred
and fifty thousand dollars on? What Yeah, he was like no, no, no, Britain. No.
Like he was not bragging or he was. So this
is why I didn't know he had money, right, But
he never worked, so it does check out a check.
He didn't have a job. He just said, oh, I
do some stuff online. I thought he was just a
banker or something.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
A banker well, because he just didn't have a job,
I thought, actually I thought he was a criminal.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
But I didn't want to ask questions after the girl
for a Columbia ended up.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Going to jail.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
No, because you know, I mean it was in London.
He was European and he just said he worked online
and did he traded? And I don't know that world, right,
I was like a hospital worker, So I thought, oh cool,
he just he's a some banker that trades and just
that's how he makes his money.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
The stereotype of women not understanding finance is so funny. Well,
because apparently he would have been the same, would have
been like numbers what Apparently he was a trader or
is a trader as well?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah, he's a gambler.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, because his parents were really big in bank. I okay,
this is a.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
His parents owned the bank.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
His parents, Yeah, And I remember that moment. I was
like okay, and something in me switched because I was like, oh,
this guy has proper money. And as someone that didn't
write with money, you think that would have been attractive.
But it made me really weird and uncomfortable. And then
I just I went home and I found out who
he was. I looked at his I'll never forget I
(16:47):
looked on his not I just didn't go break into
his computer, but his computer was open and he ordered
like an uber Ey's Delivery or something on there, and
it had his full name on there, so I just
clocked his last name.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Wait, what do you mean you were dating some of
these didn't know the name.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
No, I did not he's last name. I just knew
his name. I was trying to be that person's like
free and like not like I didn't want to stalk
him online. I was like, let's just embrace it. This
guy's great. He's treating me well. We're getting along, like
I don't need.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
To go on stalking, buying me designed things and taking
me on Sydney. There's no questions to us anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I did his deep dive and found out that his
family were like billionaires in the country that I lived in.
I don't want to say whatever anyway, and it just
made me fucking weird. I got weird and I couldn't
handle it, and I started to be weird because I
was like, why is he dating me? I'm not good
enough for him. I looked at his exes who were
all like these insane models, and it didn't work out.
We ended up breaking up, but I caught up with
(17:39):
him a couple of years later in BONDI. He was like,
I'm coming, not to look up or anything. He's like, Hey,
I'm coming to Sydney, I'll be in BONDI like literally
he knew I lived there, I guess, And so we
caught up and it was really nice. But he married
a supermodel or something, and I was like, see. I
was like, that's why this was going to work out,
because you married a supermodel. But that's the only person
ever that I have ever seen again from my past,
(18:03):
Like I am a real You're done to me, The're.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Same fucking you revite the moment for dinner, say I
haven't invited them to Christmas.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
If they've got nowhere.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Else to go, We're all coming to your wedding, Kisha.
I don't know if you need to cut that whole
thing out that was not planned. But I don't know.
I don't know if you guys are remotely interested in
walks down memory lane, but sometimes those memories come to us. Well.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Look, Also, I don't know if I'm the best person
to ask right now, because I got two pieces of
feedback about last week's episode, and I'm here to say
that the feedback has been taken on board.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
There was one comment on Spotify that said, this Bin
story is beyond board.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Which I say, I'm sorry, I've taken your feedback on board.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
The truth is that day I.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Really really fell off a cliff. Okay, I haven't been well, and.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
The bigger issue is so boring.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Beyond boring was the words.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
And the funniest thing about it is that not only
did I kind of fall off of a cliff that afternoon,
I think I might have actually gotten the flu or
potentially even COVID last week, but I spent four to
five days. Yeah, that were the sickest I have been
since I can remember, like since being an adult.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I think that that was the worst I've ever been.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
And the problem was is that I wasn't as bad
when we recorded the episode. It was actually when I
was doing the edit, because usually I would hope every
now and then I will miss the mark, But usually
I would hope that I have the kind of capacity
to evaluate something and be like, this is going on
a bit long, this is a bit boring.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Maybe I should just cut this whole thing out.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You just left the whole Bin story.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
It was a bit of me that was like, do
I just cut this entire story? Like I have no
idea if this is relatable.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I don't know if anyone gives a shit about this,
And the thought did cross my mind, but I was
so unwell that I let it go through to the
keeper and I am now reflecting and thinking that was
probably one that should have been on the cutting rim.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
It was.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Look, sometimes it's a balancing act. Is it relatable enough
to be kept gin? Because sometimes we ask ourselves after
and you did. I will take responsibility for that. After
it you were like, do you think anyone cares? Do
you think anyone cares?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
But I will stop talking about it, and you know,
I just want to apologize.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I did spend a couple of days last week on
my deathbed, and just one last thing, we spoke about
how I've had this cough for so long, and like,
we got a lot of messages and I just wanted
to clarify something very briefly, because I do understand that
the way it came out in last week's episode did
make us look a little bit irresponsible. But I actually
have had this cough for so long that a lot
of people were like, oh my gosh, Poppy, you've been
(20:34):
around Poppy. I've had it for so long that my
infectious period was over about three weeks before Poppy was born. Yeah,
it's so much just an irritation, yes, yeah, But now
that I've become sick again, I'm going to keep my
distance for a couple of weeks until, like you know,
until where we're back to normal healthy.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I've never seen your worse in your life. Thank you.
You know that's a real friendship. Hey, you sent me yourself
And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I was like,
you duke up for Halloween?
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah, no, I wasn't well.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Also, the strange thing about this is that I feel
as though I've had remember around COVID time and everyone
was talking about brain fog.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Actually can't believe how much I've had it.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Yesterday I accidentally brushed my teeth with soap and it
wasn't like I was like, oh whoopsie daisies.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I had it in my mouth and I was like,
what the fuck is that flavor? What's going on?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
And I realized that instead of putting because it's right
next to each other, right, instead of putting the toothpaste
on my toothbrush, I had put soap on there, and.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Like I was just doing all of these really stupid things.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I went to take body for a walk and she's
a puppy, like I have to put her on the
lead before we go out the gate. I just opened
the gate and she just walked out, and I was like,
what the fuck am I?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I keep on doing these really stupid things like not
taking my keys to the car.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, I've lost the plot.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
The other thing that I will just say quickly because
it might affect you something else that case you did
because of brain fog. It wasn't just left at the
bitten story. We're constantly having to approve people and let
them in the Facebook group. And there were fifty requests
to let you into our discussion cup and Kisha declined
you all.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Just for clarity, I'm sorry. There's a couple hundred a day.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
We're getting through this phase where we were getting a
lot of bots in the Facebook group and it was
really annoying and everyone was having to report them and
I had to remove them all individually.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
So we started putting a question that you have to
answer to enter the group.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
And it's a good way to try and weed out
the bots because the answers that the bots give are
like really long, and they're really detailed, and a lot
of the time they'll have American spelling.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So that's a bit of a clue to me.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
I accidentally declined all of them, but rather than going
through and like individually, I.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Just clicked the button. I was on the phone for it,
and I was like, oh, whoopsie.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So there's fifty of you. We're very sorry. We didn't
actually decline you fifty.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I don't know if there was more.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I think like that particular page had fifty people. Casha
probably told me fifty's I'm a boss. She's probably like,
oh my gosh, there's only two people.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
He's five hundred. So please if you did request to
join the group and we declined you, we didn't mean
to decline you. Please request again and we'll let you in,
we promise. Today we wanted to talk about an article
that is circulating online. It was an article that was
published on Vogue and it is called is having a
boyfriend Embarrassing?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Now?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
It's been written by a woman called Chantey Joseph. Now.
The article opens with if somebody so much as says
my boyf on social media, they are muted. There is
nothing I hate more than following someone for fun, only
for their content to become my boyfriendified. This is probably
because for so long it felt like we were living
in what one of my favorite substackers calls boyfriend land,
(23:29):
a world where women's online identities centered around the lives
of their partners, a situation rarely seen reversed. Women were
rewarded for their ability to find and keep a man
with elevated social status and praise. It became even more
suffocating when this could be leveraged on social media for
engagement and if you were serious enough, financial gain. Now.
(23:50):
The piece goes on to argue that many straight women
today having a boyfriend no longer carries the same status
that it once did. Like they're trying to say that
it used to be a real flex to be like, yo,
I got a boyfriend and then live your couple goals life.
That is what everybody used to do, and everybody used
to be really happy for it, and people used to
be really engaged with that kind of content, But it's
(24:13):
not happening now. It went into saying that rather than
being this milestone or achievement of like, oh I'm no
longer single, I've broken that curse and I'm happy and
I'm in love that now it should be something that
we shouldn't be proud of, and it shouldn't be something
that we're aiming towards having, and it shouldn't be a
goal that is something that we're putting on our checklist,
Like we shouldn't be saying, hey, I really want a partner.
(24:34):
I'm looking for a partner. We should be embracing our
independence and our singletom. It goes on to say that
now the norms have shifted. There are a fewer hard
launch posts of romantic partners. There's this trend of the
soft launch, like the more subtle images of you know,
when you see a hand on a steering wheel, it's
usually a Bentley or Mercedes or something like. No one's
putting it on their little astro.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
All of that I understand, and I understand that we've
had like a shift in the societal norms. But the
piece even went on to say that they interviewed women
for this who said that they lost followers after they
posted about having a boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I can see where that comes from, but I think
that's a very niche market and I do have some
problems with the article as a whole, which we're going
to get into. I think the people that are losing
followers have based their content around being single, and I
remember I sort of felt similarly, like I was really
worried when I got into my relationship with Jordan, because
(25:28):
it was the first relationship I got into after a
very very very long time single dating, being really unlucky
in love.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And you'd kind of waved that flag on the podcast
as well, like Laura was the one who's partnered up, Yeah,
were the one who was kind of having the single experiences.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Unintentionally, it became my identity. I didn't set out for
it to be, but all of a sudden it did.
And I feel like, without knowing, that snowballed and I
became the person. And because the podcast platform was so big,
I became the person that was having the terrible dates
and the really bad dating stories. And I did desperately
want to find my person and be in love, but
(26:07):
I was still happy being single at the same time.
And there's a difference between wanting to find someone and
finding them. So even though I was saying, oh, I
wish I could find my person, I fucking wasn't I
was still being ghosted, and I was, you know, like
having all these ridiculous stories, and I remember saying, to you, guys,
what am I going to do? I think I'm in
a relationship. People are not going to want to listen
to me the podcast anymore. People are not going to
(26:28):
follow me like they only follow me. And I really
felt like I had unintentionally built this life and this
identity on being this unlucky love person. And I think
the women that have been interviewed saying that they lost
followers after that, I don't think they're their everyday people
whose friends are like, oh, I don't want to be
friends with you now. I think that they're bigger people
that maybe have been flying that flag for a long
(26:48):
time and then all of a sudden, people the people
that their community is like, well, you made me feel
less alone. It's the people that are not really happy
with their relationship status. I would think that are unflow
allowing people that have found a boyfriend yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I wonder if it's the sense of like I no
longer relate to you, yeah, or if it's actually that
you know, some people when they do have certain life things.
This can be the case for not just a boyfriend,
but like having a baby or whatever, their entire brand
online shifts to the point where you're like, well, that's
not why I followed you, know, Like it would be
the equivalent of me following someone for home renovations and
(27:24):
then all of a sudden they're posting stuff about travel, yes,
and I'd be like, well, that's not why I followed you,
So maybe it's time for me to unfollow, because like,
I'm not enjoying this content in a way that.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
I used to do.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
So like that aspect of it I actually understand, and
I think I actually agree with it.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
But the article kind.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Of went on to almost like in a way it
almost puts shame on people who were posting photos or
videos or content about the fact that they had found
a partner and that they were going to share that
partner specifically a boyfriend, and this was specifically for straight relationships,
and the fact that it kind of like reduced their
aura and it reduced their independence, and it almost made
(28:02):
out as though it was something that you should really
keep to yourself.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
The more I read it, the more angry I go.
I want to read you this one line. To me,
it feels like the result of women wanting to straddle
two worlds, one where they can receive the social benefit
of having a partner, but also not appears so boyfriend
obsessed that they come across quite culturally losorish.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Sorry, am I culturally losorish?
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I have a boyfriend, dude, I don't post him very much.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
No, but this is where I started to get a
little bit ticked off about it. I'm just sick of
and I've said it about other things. I'm sick of
They're having to be a label for everything, and now
posting your partner because you're happy makes you a loser culturally,
to me is really fucked and I think it's creating
a really big issue. We have to think about every
single thing we do in life already. And I can
(28:52):
guarantee you this is only directed at women. This is
not men. If a man posts a girlfriend, it's like, oh,
look how emotionally in touch he is, Look how much
he loves he partner. The fact that we're just lumping
this other worry and stress onto women. It's like, oh
my god, now I'm so happy and I found a boyfriend.
But what if I post him? Am I gonna get canceled?
Am I gonna lose followers? Am I a loser? Are
(29:13):
people going to look down on me? Does that mean
I'm not independent? Is it the patriarchy?
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Like?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
There are so many other things that we need to
worry about the fact that Vogue is writing an article saying, hey,
you got a boyfriend, be careful out there, Like fuck off,
That's what I want to say, if you really feel
But if you're it's just it's amazing to me that
we are now lumping this onto women again for something
else you need to think about, stress about and worry about.
(29:39):
I want to set the record straight here right now.
I'm pretty up there on part with folk. But if
you if you are in love and happy, do what
you want. You don't have to conform to what anyone
says is right or wrong or cool or uncool. Like nothing.
I hate people labeling cool and uncol Being cool to
(30:00):
me is just being authentically you. It doesn't matter what
that looks like, as long as you're not hurting anybody
and you're not completely toxic. If you want to post
your partner and people unfollow you, you don't want those
people in your life anyway. If I go on to
the other side, here, like the Devil's Advocate, I understand
maybe a deeper issue where Folk is coming from by
saying women are not wanting to post as much anymore.
(30:23):
But I think that's because they're not wanting to be
in relationships as much anymore. And I don't think that
is coming down to it being uncool. I think it's
coming down to the fact that we don't have to
be You know, we live in a different society now
where we are far more independent, but women don't need
to settle anymore. So when they go and try and
find their partner and they're out there in the dating world.
There used to be a time where we'd say, oh,
(30:45):
there are so many things that are not right, but
it's like probably the best of what I'm going to get,
so I'm going to settle for it. And we don't
do that anymore. We don't have to do it anymore.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, I can see your point.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
There was this part of the article that I actually
somewhat agreed with, and I'm just going to read this
paragraph with you. It says, obviously there's no shame in
falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying
and failing to find it or not trying at all.
As long as we're openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, having
a boyfriend will remain a somewhat fragile or even contentious
(31:15):
concept within public life. This is also happening alongside a
wave of women reclaiming and romanticizing their single life. Where
being single was once a cautionary tale you'll end up
a spinster with loads of cats, it is now becoming
a desirable and coveted status, another nail in the coffin
of centuries old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited
(31:37):
women to begin with. Now this part is where I
do actually quite agree. I feel like if you look back,
even maybe even like three to five years ago, there
just wasn't as much content that represented a comfortable and
happy single woman life. I think we're seeing a lot
more of that. But I don't like the fact that
this author is almost implying that the only way to
(31:58):
actually have that content and have it feel authentic is
to say that it's lain to have the other version,
you know, to say that it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend,
because that is no longer a symbol of status or
a symbol of success.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Well, yeah, and I think it goes a little bit
further and saying being single is a symbol of independence
and that you can only be independent if you are
out there living your best life on your own, and
I think that that is absolutely rubbish. You can one
hundred percent be in a relationship and have interdependence, and
I think it's really important. I think every relationship should
(32:33):
have interdependence instead of just being in this codependent relationship.
I'm a prime example of that, married in love, obsessed,
completely live my own life and my husband lives his
own life, and then we have a part of our
lives that we live together. I'm loud and proud about
my relationship and my love, you know, and I don't
think that that makes me a loser, But it's also
(32:55):
not my identity in my whole life. Like I have
probably more of a life outside side of Ben than
I have with him. And I think that that is
the slippery slope we're falling into where now it's just
too labeled and categorized that like, oh, you're in a relationship,
so you don't get to make choices on your own anymore,
and you don't get to have any independence and like,
(33:17):
that's not cool anymore. We have this ability to break
down the patriarchy and live our best life. So we
shouldn't be getting married and we shouldn't be in relationships,
But that's rubbish. We're still humans that want to have
these connections with people.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yeah, I do think that they have a point that
the idea of like being in a relationship, and I
would even extend that as far as being married was
a symbol of success. You know, it was a symbol
of the fact that you have achieved this thing that
you're supposed to achieve in your lifetime. And it does
make me wonder now if we're taking that off the table,
I feel as though we've also taken off the whole
(33:51):
girl Boss era symbol of success online, Like it makes
me wonder, what are the symbols that these people are
looking for to indicate that someone would be proud something
that they've achieved in life.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
That's my entire point of breaking down this article is
that just be authentically happy. If you want to be
a girl boss, be a girl boss. If you want
to be happy in love, do it. If you want
to never date again and travel the world, do it.
As long as you're doing it because you want to,
not because society, i e. Vogue has told you that
it's not cool to be in a relationship and post
(34:21):
your partner anymore. But it is interesting when you dive
a little bit deeper, like we are at an all
time low. The stats in Australia say that marriage here
has never been lower. We are one hundred percent are
steering away from not necessarily relationships, but definitely the extra
commitment of tying them, not legally. And I do think
it's interesting because Keisha, you don't really care much about marriage,
(34:45):
like you've been with Todd Bleerran for a couple of years,
and it's you know, it's not something we've ever really
spoken about on here a lot, but you don't really
care about locking it down.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
De Yeah, No, this is something that I'm not sure
if I've ever mentioned it on the podcast. I probably
have mentioned it in like US gun cuts in past
and that kind of thing. And I think I've been
a little bit hesitant because I've never wanted someone listening
to it to think that I was judging their choice,
which is kind of ironic based off of this article.
I've never wanted anyone who has either chosen to get
(35:15):
married or has the dream of getting married to feel
as though I was shitting on them. But the truth
is is that I have never, in my entire life
felt the desire to either get married or be married.
And I've been in my relationship for two and a
half years now, and while we've been together, we have
had a lot of friends get engaged, and we've been
(35:37):
to quite a few weddings together as like a couple,
And so every time that someone else gets engaged or
we go to another wedding, I feel as though we
kind of do this check in with each other where
we're just like, I'm just checking are you still feeling
the same about the whole marriage conversation? And we've had
the conversation where we've both said, if it was really
important to you, I would do it, but it's not
(35:59):
important to me, And every now and then I just
kind of check that we're still on that same page.
And so far we have been, and there has been
like a real part of me that has wondered why
that might be the case. There's an aspect of the
planning of it that I feel like, quite genuinely like
I would be allergic to I just don't have a brain.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's very good like that.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I feel you in that I can give you my
planner whatever.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Happens to like the idea of having to care about
details that I just simply don't care about, Like I
have ADHD, but I am a headlines person. I don't
care about floral arrangements. I don't care about table settings.
I'm just not a person who cares about details like that.
And again, I don't want people to listen to that
and think that I'm judging you for caring. I think
(36:41):
it's lovely that you care about those things. I have
friends who love that kind of thing. They're really excited
about making their wedding day as pitchure perfect as they
have always dreamt about it. That's the thing that I
find quite strange. I cannot remember a time that I
have ever dreamt about what my wedding dress would look like,
what our aisle song would be, what our first dance
song would be like. There has never been a moment
(37:02):
that I have, even like thinking back to childhood, that
I can go, oh.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I wonder if I'll have this at my wedding.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I just genuinely have not ever wanted to have it,
and maybe it's like people will say, like, oh, you're
a child of divorce, it's because you've seen divorce and
you've seen the relationships break down. But my parents didn't
get divorced until I was like fifteen. So thinking back
and knowing that I've never thought about it even as
a kid makes me question whether that maybe isn't a
(37:31):
part of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Well, interestingly, my parents, most of you guys know, they've
been married nearly fifty years. I think it's like forty
eight or forty nine years. And I had like a
very stable, wholesome upbringing. And I also never thought about
my wedding. I never was one of those people either.
I didn't have anything saved. I didn't have these mood boards.
I didn't know anything. I picked the song that was
(37:54):
going to be playing down the aisle for my bridesmaids
two hours before they walked down, not something that ever
consumed me. I didn't know what kind of dress I wanted.
I didn't know anything, And that is interesting because I
always wanted the relationship and the love, I think because
my parents had it, but the wedding didn't mean anything
to me. I always wanted to get engaged and I
couldn't wait for that. But I think that was more
(38:16):
just that taking the next step with a partner, being like,
we're going to do this. But I do wonder if
Ben was Australian if we would have actually ever gotten
married or just stayed engaged, because for us, it's really
important for him to be able to live here easily
one day that we are married, and that's a huge
part of why we did it. Obviously a huge party
(38:36):
is that were you love each other and are obsessed
with each other. But it also as a kid didn't
have that same I didn't have that same desire. I
don't know what it was. And planning for me, oh
my god, like Kisha worse, like even my wedding plan
was like, you need to make the decision. I can't
plan it without it. And I said, please, if I
could turn up to a wedding that someone else had
(38:57):
planned for me, I would be happy, Like I don't.
I don't need the details either. But I don't think
it's because your parents were divorced. I think it's maybe
just a product of who you are, like you're quite independent.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Yeah, it could be that, and I know that a
lot of people listening to this will be like, you're
focusing on the wedding day, not the marriage. Yeah, So
there has been a part of me that's like, is
it the wedding day that puts me off?
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Do I still want to be married?
Speaker 3 (39:21):
And I've thought about like maybe we could a lope
and all of those things, And genuinely, I actually am
trying to work this out within myself and be you know,
some people say it feels different, you feel more committed
to each other. Even my brother says that. Where I've
been like, does it feel any different? Like I feel
as though I'm making a choice, We're loyal to each other,
Like I kind of like the fact that we're not
(39:44):
legally bound.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
I like the fact that it feels more like I like.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
That I can run if I need to.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Well, Like, maybe there is a part of me that
is actually a little bit I'm trying to push away
from the idea of a commitment like that. That being said,
that also doesn't make sense to me because we have
a house and a dog now, so.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
That's different to a wedding. Though it's different to a marriage.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah, but for some reason, those things feel more solidifying
to me. Like the idea of being married doesn't. It
just doesn't cross my mind. And so like reading through
this article of like, oh, it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend,
I'm like, lol, I'm probably going to be embarrassing for
the rest of my life then, because I've just never
(40:23):
had this feeling that I wanted to become a married person,
And there has been moments where I've questioned, like.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Am I missing this gene? Like am I missing this?
Speaker 3 (40:33):
It seems to be something that every woman is supposed
to desire and is supposed to want the security of
and like the stability of it. And maybe there's a
part of me that feels really lucky. I feel those
things without needing to be married. But I feel completely
indifferent to the idea of being married.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
But you like the idea of getting engaged. Ah, I
like the idea of having I like again, and I
know that this sounds so superficial. I think it's just
the jewelry. I just like jewelry. I think I like
the idea of having a cool ring.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Like, I don't know if it's the symbolism that it's
supposed to.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Feel for me.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
How does Toblerin feel he feels pretty much the same,
or at least he says he does, Like, like I said,
we kind of check in with each other over and
over again, and he just says, like it's not important
to me. I don't feel any more in a relationship
with you. I don't feel any more committed, and I
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
There's part of me that's been like maybe this is
my way of pushing back on the patriarchy, Like marriage
has been something that is socially constructed and it was
fucked for women up until probably about fifty years ago.
I would like to think that I was that moral,
but it's truly that I just don't have the feeling
of ever desiring to be married.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I totally understand that. I think a lot of people
will relate to what you said. Again, circling back, we
are at the lowest marriage rates we've ever been in Australia.
What I will say is and I didn't expect it,
but it did feel different to me. Yeah, and I
was getting married. Like I said, I love Ben, I
want to spend my life with him, but I could
have just been engaged to him also for the rest
(42:13):
of my life, like for us. It's the same commitment, right,
we know that we were committed to each other. Did
I also want a very big diamond ring. Yeah, I did.
But I was really surprised, even though it shouldn't. And
it doesn't make sense. Something switched in the relationship and
something switched in us. I don't know. It's really hard
to explain because technically nothing happens right, technically you've signed
(42:36):
a piece of paper, but there's something deeper in it
where you say, oh, I am choosing you, You're choosing me,
and we are going to make this work through highs
and lows. And I don't know. It just felt like
this change where it felt more serious and you felt
like you were taking the relationship more seriously, which I
know it doesn't make sense because you should be taken
it seriously anyway. I can't explain the feeling, but you
(42:56):
hear a lot of people say the same thing and
you can't put your finger on what it is.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah, maybe it's that I like to feel freedom.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
I think I like the fact that we're not legally
bound together and so every day it is a choice.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
And it doesn't make it like it's interesting the words
you're using as well, because you're still just as free.
You'll still always be your person that can make your
own choices, and it doesn't make you. I mean, I'm
talking about you right now. Because some people are different.
Some people become financially dependent in a relationship, and I
think that that is tricky territory. Obviously, there is times
(43:31):
it's unavoidable when you're having families and things like that.
But I think for you, Kish, it's not like putting
a chain around your ankle when you get married and
like you're locked inside anymore. You still have your life
is exactly the same. It's just a commitment. And I'm
not saying that you have to get married or you don't.
But it's interesting and maybe we need to do it
with a therapist off the podcast. It's interesting, it's interesting
(43:52):
to unpack, like as you're unpacking it now live on
the podcast, like I feel like you're discovering these thoughts
and ideas as well.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
I haven't thought about the freedom thing, but I guess
the only reason we wanted to talk about this today
is because I think that again, the narratives of wanting
the status symbol of being in a relationship, wanting the
status symbol of being married. I do feel as though
the tide is turning, and there's an aspect of that that.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
I really like.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
I just don't like the fact that this author of
this article has kind of implied that the only way
to demystify those status symbols is to make them shameful.
So that's what I don't like about the article. I
feel as though they're saying, like, oh, it's embarrassing if
you post your partner's embarrassing if you're in a relationship now,
and I'm like, well, yes, I understand, we've had an
(44:39):
oversaturation of the fact that unless you had these things,
you were kind of pathetic.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Unless you were able to reach the goals.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Of having a boyfriend, having a marriage, all that kind
of thing, you were less than. But I don't think
that we get to the point of acceptance of other
lifestyles and other choices by shaming the people who have
done the things that we've traditionally viewed success. Well, it
is time, as like and sweet it hit me with
your suck of the week, my suck of the week.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I'm supposed to be going to see Ben in like
very soon, in like ten days or something like that,
and it's just a bit up in the air now
because basically, like heaps of people at his team got fired.
Shit like coaches and managers and stuff, very normal in football.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
It also happened super quickly.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
That was something I learned from you guys that I
thought the media industry was cut throat.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It seems like sport is.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
It is brutal. Yeah, if there's a couple of bad games,
the staff just get It's wild anyway. So basically they
had a couple of days off I was gonna play
over and it's just a bit up in the year.
I now, I don't know until a couple of days before.
It'll be a really last minute decision, and it might
not happen because all these people got fired. It means
(45:55):
new coaches and managers and bosses coming, and then they
might just be like, fucking fat chance you guys are
having any days off like you you know what I mean,
because they knew you don't know what they're going to
be and the schedule was based off the old people.
So it's just crazy, Like I'm a week out from
supposed to be going over there, and now I've just
got to sit and wait to see what happens and
do I book the flight, do I cancel it? Do
(46:15):
I change it? Do I put on pause? So that's
pretty wild. But my sweet this week is I have
this one friend that I've told you about sporadically over
the years. She's the friend in London, and she's the
friend that just messages me when she's like an hour
away without me knowing from London, and she'll be like, hey,
I'm she's like.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
Touched down at Sydney International Airport and she's waiting for
her bag.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Sometimes she messages me when she's in Singapore halfway and
she'll be like, hey, I'll be there in like whatever
that is, ten hours. But sometimes she lands and she'll
tell me she's coming. She knows that if I'm not there,
she knows I have like a locked box with a key.
She knows that she can she can come and stay.
But she just messaged me on the weekend and she said, Hey,
you're gonna be home tonight. I'll be there in a
couple of hours. That's the kind of friendship we are,
(46:56):
And so that was really nice and very unexpected. She
dropped in from London. I was here for a couple
of nights and then she left again yesterday. But it
was as much as it's very lucky that I don't
have a life, Like it's lucky that I don't do anything.
I don't have hobbies. I don't I don't like to
go out that much and drink. So she's like, you're
probably not going to be home. I was like, I'm home.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Absolutely, I'm definitely home.
Speaker 3 (47:17):
And as long as you're willing to watch Netflix with
me for the whole weekend.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
We're great.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
So it was good.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I absolutely love the spontaneity that she has.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
I am a spontaneous girl myself, but even I am
not that spontaneous.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
She just must back herself. Look to be fair, it's
pretty easy to book a hotel.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
If worst came to worst, she could book a hotel,
and I'm sure that she'd have a great time by
herself in Sydney for the night.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
But I love it. I absolutely love that she's just
so close her best life.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
By the what is it something of your teeth or
something No.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
That's the wrong saying, by the skin of your teeth?
Speaker 1 (47:49):
My sife for the week is that.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
I mean, I don't want to, you know, ramp on
about being sick, but it was actually being sick with
a six month old Australian Shepherd puppy by myself. Because
if there is a breed of dog that you don't
want to be annoying you for the sake that it
needs to go out and exercise for multiple hours a day.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
It's my little darling Bonnie. And it was so rough.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
I did offer to come get her for three days, yes, yes,
but I didn't take you.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
I was like, oh, come get her. I need her.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
I'm so emotional right now.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
I feel so alone because I remember when I had
COVID and had Delilah. Yeah, I could not. You can't
look after them.
Speaker 6 (48:31):
No.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
I remember messaging me and being like, can you just
come and get her for a couple of days, Like
you can't take them out for walks. And we have
this wonderful dog walker, Grace. So she came and got
her each of the days and she, you know, she
went out and she went for the runs. But my god,
that dog is starting to develop some sass and yeah,
I feel like she's getting into those like teenage sassy years.
She's talking back a lot, there's a lot of communication
(48:53):
coming out of her. There's a lot of big feelings,
But my sweet is that I have this one beautiful friend,
soph And she came over a couple of days into
me being sick, which I told her. I was like,
don't come, I don't want to get you sick, blah
blah blah, and she was like, it's fine, I've actually
been sick myself. She brought me this like care package
and it was just such a nice reminder that for
a lot of last year she lived by herself, and
(49:15):
a lot of this year, actually sorry, she lived by herself.
And she was kind of talking to me about the
fact that when you're sick and you live alone, there's
this particular feeling of just feeling a little bit extra
lonely and a little bit like it would just be
so nice to have someone there to look after me.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
And just so everyone knows at home, it's because Todd
Bloin's away at the moment.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Yeah, yeah, he's away for work.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
He's not just like locked her in the basement.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Actually I decided I didn't want to get married and
he left.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
So that was a real sweet and it was also
a reminder for me that if I have friends who
are in that position, whether it be that they live
alone or that they're single.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
I probably need to step.
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Up that little bit more if they're feeling unwell and
kind of be that friend for them.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
So yeah, that was my sweet of the week and
it was very, very kind of a that's it.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Guys. Make sure you send in your ask on carts
please to Instagram. You can just put d m's ask
on cart. We'll keep you anonymous and you're accidentally unfiltered.
You're embarrassing stories, please send them in. We know you've
got some goodies hidden in there. And the YouTube. YouTube's
a big one. Every week we say at the start
of the episode we're going to push the YouTube, but
we always forget and we live it to the end.
Please go and hit subscribe on the YouTube. We've got
(50:20):
some really cool interviews coming up in the next week
or two that you're not gonna want to miss. There
some very very big guests.
Speaker 3 (50:27):
It's been a bit of a pinchby moment the last
couple of weeks, hasn't it.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Yeah, One's pretty spicy.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
That was the most obvious thing ever.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
It like one's hot, One's hot and spicy sicy.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
They work hits the kernel, think the kettle himself with
vulging the eleven secret heads and spices, but you know,
the drill friends, and because we love
Speaker 2 (51:00):
The baa baaa
This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
on Cut.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I'm Brittany and I'm Keisha.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And Keisha is still feeling in for the wonderful Laura,
who's still so still she will have a baby for
a very long time. The baby's not going anywhere, so she's.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Still a mother of three.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
She's still on seventy what would he say, seventy five
percent maternity leave. I don't know. She pops in when
she feels like it. She does an episode a week.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yeah, was that a deliberate pun?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Pops in? Oh yeah, I was in with Poppy. She
pops in with pop with pops out. Hey my Roman empire.
This week, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.
See if you guys listened to the episode that just
came out a couple of days ago, we just stumbled
across this fact that was not a fact. But we
started to talk about the fact that Ben, my husband,
has like this huge Russell crow tattoo on his thigh.
(00:55):
And that wasn't a planned conversation of the podcast, but
we went there and we got well, it got me
thinking a lot. Kesha was sort of like why where's
the obsession from? Like why does he love Gladiator so much?
And I didn't really know, and I've been really trying
to think about it and unpack it. We've got a
lot of questions coming in as well from you guys,
just being like, seems like a weird obsession for a
(01:16):
giant tattoo. So I decided to ask Ben. Now, I
only just decided to ask him, like fifteen minutes ago.
I just thought I'll call him and just see, without
giving him any time to prep or think about it,
and just see where this obsession comes from, because he's
watched it, maybe like it's got to be thirty forty
fifty times or something like.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
It's something ludicrous. I've never seen it.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Not even Oh my god, don't let Ben hear you
say that.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
No, I was really surprised when I saw because I
think when you told me about the tattoo, I pictured something,
and then when I saw it, I was like, oh,
that is a lot more elaborate, at a lot larger
than what I was picturing in my head. It's actually
like it takes he's a big boy. He's got big
legs because he's all legs and he's all, legs, yeah,
(02:00):
it actually takes up the large majority of one entire thigh.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
I'm gonna ask him for a photo, and if I'm
allowed to post it, surely you won't care. So anyway,
I wanted to get to the bottom of what it
actually was, where this deep obsession came from, and why
he could watch the same thing over and over again.
And I say that I don't know about uksh. If
I watch something, I find it hard to watch something twice,
like anything, a TV series, a movie, whatever, even if
(02:26):
it was a movie one of my favorite movies from
when I was a teenager. For me, I'm not a
repeat watcher because I find it like, oh, I know
what's happening, and you know, I know the plot, I
know the ending. I'm not into it.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm the complete opposite because I go to sleep watching TV.
I know this is everyone says it's not good, and
I know that I'm the one obsessed with sleep. But
I go to sleep watching TV. But it specifically has
to be something that I've seen before. Otherwise I feel
like I'm trying to stay a week so that I
can work out what's happening. So I watched the same thing,
but you watch it to go over and over and
over and over, but you watch it.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
To go to sleep. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Even sometimes when I just like want I have dinner
or something like anything in the background, I will put
on something that I've seen before. I think it's because,
like I know that I enjoy it. I know that
I don't have to pay complete attention to it. Like
maybe that's what it is actually that I can kind
of like scroll and get away with it. But I'm
a repeat watcher. There's something comforting about it. There's something
that just makes me like know what I'm in for.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
It's so weird to me.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Let's poll it. It's so weird to me that there
are people out there that are happy to just like
watch something that many times when you know the dialogue,
you know the plot, you know the intricacies of it.
But having said that, I get it, I get maybe twice,
maybe three times. I don't get Gladiator like forty times.
That's un common because I haven't seen it, so I
(03:45):
need to watch it.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I always watch TV shows over and over again. I
don't watch movies over and over again. That feels like
different to me.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
The only show I've ever been able to watch and
repeat is Friends ever And that's because nothing will ever compare,
like it will always be funny, and because there's so
many seasons, you'll always go back and like see something
or hear something that you miss the first time.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
The one thing I can't stand about shows that were
recorded back then, though, is that they have that canned
laughter built into it, which just feels very awkward now,
like if you watch TV in the cast, you mean,
or like when they were making the TV show. It's
for a lot of shows that were made in like
the nineties and early two thousands, they have laughter that
they have put in from either like a studio audience
(04:29):
or they've kind of put it in in post, which
feels even more strange.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Well, Friends was always in front of a live audience,
which is amazing. So Friends laughter is organic and real.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
But they would have had to do multiple takes. You
need different angles, you need to keep it doing.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Speak like that about Friends, Like.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
I just mean, I think they would have had like
laughed tracks that they would have just superimposed into the
actual audio of the show, which just feels so so
cringe to me.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Now That's what I'll do if I made a comedy,
I'll be like, laugh yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
To me, it's like I feel as though I'm being
instructed on when to laugh, and I'm like, I just
want to laugh when I actually want to laugh.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
But laughter makes you laugh. It's probably really smart because
when you hear an audience laugh and must subconsciously do
something to you as well, that's like, oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Laugh.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I just wondering what it is about Gladiator that does
something subconsciously for Ben, because, to.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Be honest, I was not expecting this to be his
response as to why he enjoyed it so much. I
just love him so much.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
I'm constantly learning things about him, and his answer really
surprised me. Have a listen, what is it about Gladiator
that you're so obsessed with? Like, why do you watch
it over and over in your spare time? Why do
you have it tattooed on your leg? Ne're Willie? Why?
Speaker 5 (05:44):
Well, First of all, he stands for something. He stands
for honor, he stands to He's obviously been wrong done,
but he stands for the greater things. So he's not
just fighting for his life, is standing in for what
he believes. Obviously in the movie, it's he was picked
to be the next caesar and then his halfway brother
(06:06):
gets it, so he's like he's not he's not avenging
his brother. He's avenging for the greater good of Rome.
That's you know, he's fighting for the greater goods of Rome,
and he does it with with honor and integrity. Okay,
and yeah, so obviously that's one of the things.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Okay, Yeah, the other.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Thing, the mask is really cool. The mask that he
was wearing is obviously like being a gladiator is like
the masks sort of.
Speaker 6 (06:33):
You yeah, like if you're a gladiator, you're you're they
were obviously there to entertain the people of Rome, but
you are, you're a fighter, you know, it's it's survival
life of that. I can see you laughing.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
At least ten stages deeper than what I was anticipating.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Sorry, that was so deep. And he didn't even didn't
blink blink, He did not blink. He just went straight
into launching about the integrity and like, I just not
what I was expecting. I just thought he'd be like
the fighting or like like a real manly response.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
I was wondering if it was like he's an athlete,
there's like athleticism to it.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
I really wasn't expecting it to be this like moral deep.
That's why I've watched it fifty times. It reminds me
of a greater good.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Now that he's sorry, before I get into that deeper
part the masks. It went from like being really deeper
and moral and all this integrity based answer to just like,
oh and then he has a cool mask. I think
that that was a very polarizing answer. But to go
back and break it down now that I think about it,
Ben does pride himself on having integrity, Like, that's the
(07:36):
kind of person that he is. That's the person he
is with his sporting teams, as the person he is
with me. It's a person he is with his friends.
So like, the answer, I guess makes sense when I
think about it, But I just didn't expect him to
be so obsessed with it because this warrior was fighting
for the greater good. I just thought it was hilarious.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Have I ever told you that the very first time
I saw the Coliseum was on a walker?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Shame you have, but please please tell everybody you get so.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
I don't know if I shared this on the podcast.
Sorry if I have, I've got a bit of brain fog.
We'll get into that a little bit later. But the
very first time I went to Italy, I would have
been like eighteen years old, and I went over there
with two of my girlfriends who were a tiny bit
older than me, and of that group, I was the
quiet one, which would have you absolutely shook.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Us to the call that is a wild groom if
you were.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
We touched down in Rome and for some reason we
went on some like pub crawl that night, as in
that was like an organized group. I don't know who
had found this pub crawl. I know it wasn't me.
But the next thing I know is that we were
along with like a group of about forty people going
through Rome, drinking at different bars, and we met these
guys that were from the UK and they were really
(08:45):
nice and really sweet, and I had really gotten on
with one of them obviously, and the night had progressed
and I just remember it coming to the point where
like the sun was coming up. I have no idea
what time it was, but I remember kind of saying like, oh,
you know, we've got a big day of turisy things play.
And so I got my shoes, and I got my
bag from the night before and I was walking back
to our hotel and I was like following the dot
(09:06):
on Google Maps or Apple Mats, I can't remember, and
I looked up and right there to my right hand
side was the coliseum and I was like, holy shit,
it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Look at it.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
It's right there.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
What a moment to have you just conquered this man.
And now if you're in the Colisseum where you've conquered Rome.
What a beautiful interception of real life? Do you know
what to you probably saw it at the best time
you could, like no sunrise. She pulls out your SLR
camera that you.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Did for your photo shoot the night before, start taking selfie,
sends it to mom, Mom, look.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
At where I am.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
That's so funny. You made me just think of all
the time that I've just walked out with people traveling?
Do you keep them on? Like were you at that
time where you added everyone that you met traveling on Facebook? Yeah?
Or Instagram? And then like years later, someone pops up
on your feet and.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You're like, who is that? Per one hundred percent?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Why do we do that?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
I think because it was the thing that was done
at the time. It also feels.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
Like if you're sharing a different part of you, you
can probably share a Facebook.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Page, your Instagram hand.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, But every now and then they will pop up
and I'll be like, where on earth do I know
that person from.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Especially in Mexico, especially once.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
You didn't look up with you know, the people that
you met traveling, especially if you were on like a
tour group. I felt like I went on a couple
like Top Decks and Kintiquis when I was in my
teens and early twenties. And there'll be people that you
just feel like you got so close to and you
just thought you were going to be friends forever because
you shared the most amazing three weeks or five weeks,
(10:39):
the most amazing night in the course and yeah, the
most amazing walker shame. And then you often will never
see or think about them ever again in life. And
every now and then something will come up on Facebook
and I'll be like, who on earth is that? Like,
oh my god, that's that girl that I was like
hanging out with in Italy for two weeks back in
twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
There was some wild story that I have not thought
about until now, when Arry and I were traveling around
because we traveled. We did this like big three year
around the world trip and we started in South America
and went six or eight months through South America up
through Central America, and we did it all. And we
met this girl in Columbia, this blonde, beautiful girl, very young,
(11:19):
really into partying. Scherry and I never did drugs or
anything like we would drink, but we've never been into
drugs in our entire life, but she was. She sort
of went parted. We don't care like everyone in Colombia.
It's like literally when in Rome, like sorry, it's the
home of cocaine. So anyway, I remember, I remember her,
and I can still bring her face up and mind you,
this is thirteen years ago. Anyway, we were Facebook friends,
(11:42):
never saw again. We spent like a week at a
hostel together, and then something popped up on the Facebook
like eight years or something later, and she apparently got
arrested for like try and get coke out of the country,
like proper, like.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Way, is this cocaine Cassie? Yeah? Spoiler no, no, there
was another one.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Yeah yeah, not cocaine Cassie.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
I just saw it pop up and I was like,
oh my God, I don't need to be friends with you.
So I unfriended her because I was like, who is
that girl?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Why unfriended?
Speaker 3 (12:09):
After that, I would find that so intriguing that there
is no way in hell I would be able to
unfriend that person.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do you want to be friends with some drug smuggle?
Speaker 3 (12:17):
It doesn't mean that you're friends with them, but I'm
definitely interested in why it happens.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Next. Sorry, I have a very niche face from fresh Brook,
very new face. Why can I say that niche Facebook
friend list? So yeah, if you've maybe into my friend list,
it's exclusive, it's and it means that we're tired. I can't.
I can't be tired with a criminal.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
That is so funny.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
No way, there is no part of me that would
be able to unfriend that. I just find that stuff
so interesting.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
You don't own friend everyone. You're friends with, every boy,
you're friends with, everyone you've made out with since you're
about twelve.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, that's true with everyone. Maybe it's just my world tour.
That's how I remember my traveling experiences. I know for
certain I wouldn't be the only person like this.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
So if you have, if you have discovered one of
the new natural or non natural wonders of the world
on a walk of shame. I would love to know
about it. I know that this is a very niche
call out, but I feel as though there only has
to be one, but really good story of what you
got to discover because you hooked up with someone and
you were trying to find your way back home. Have
(13:16):
you ever ran into one of your travel hookups in
your normal life, because I ran into one last year.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
No way, Yeah, it would have to be a year ago.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
It was in the Sunshine Coast. Neither of us are
from the Sunshine Coast. We'd hooked up in twenty sixteen
in Greece. I had never seen him again. We'd spoken
a little bit afterwards, but it wasn't like it was
something that we were going to continue on. And then
I was up in the Sunshine Coast with my now partner.
I was just like ordering lunch and I turned to
(13:45):
my side and I.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Was like, hello, did he remember you? Yeah, we had
a nice catch up, and he's married.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
And he's like quickly caught up over It was one
of those awkward things where because we were both there
with partners, I was like, I don't know how much
of this story to tell?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Like, I don't know how to be like, because you
have to give context to your partner, right, but you
don't want to make them feel uncomfortable. But also I
don't think it would make him that uncomfortable to be like, oh,
you know, we hooked up literally ten years ago when
I was traveling.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
I have never run into any one, but I have
never you guys know, I was never into a strip Aussies,
Like I was never into an Aussie. But I did
catch up with an ex. Remember a lot of you
ogs might remember I spoke about this guy that I
dated for a while when I was living in London.
Everything was going really well until I discovered that his
families were billionaires. Remember that guy? No, yeah, don't you remember?
(14:39):
So he was this really nice guy. He took me
to the tennis on a date I'll never forget, and
he put this bed on it the tennis in the
tennis final, and he and I were like, we're only
a few weeks deep, and we'd been spending a lot
of time together. But I didn't even know his last name, right, Like,
you're dating three or four you're going three or four
dates a week, but we were just enjoying the process.
So I didn't google him, didn't have him on anything.
(15:01):
And I remember we went to a tennis grand final
and he's like, I'm going to put a bet on
and I was like, oh, cool, this could be fun.
I'll put a bet on the other person and like,
whoever wins, you know, pays the other bet. I remember
him saying, no, no, no, no, it's fine. I'm gonna
put like one hundred and fifty on and I was like, done,
one hundred and fifty each. The other person paid uses
(15:22):
that money to pay for dinner, and I thought he
meant one hundred and fifty dollars. He put one hundred
and fifty thousand dollars on? What Yeah, he was like no, no, no, Britain. No.
Like he was not bragging or he was. So this
is why I didn't know he had money, right, But
he never worked, so it does check out a check.
He didn't have a job. He just said, oh, I
do some stuff online. I thought he was just a
banker or something.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
A banker well, because he just didn't have a job,
I thought, actually I thought he was a criminal.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
But I didn't want to ask questions after the girl
for a Columbia ended up.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Going to jail.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
No, because you know, I mean it was in London.
He was European and he just said he worked online
and did he traded? And I don't know that world, right,
I was like a hospital worker, So I thought, oh cool,
he just he's a some banker that trades and just
that's how he makes his money.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
The stereotype of women not understanding finance is so funny. Well,
because apparently he would have been the same, would have
been like numbers what Apparently he was a trader or
is a trader as well?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Yeah, he's a gambler.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
No, because his parents were really big in bank. I okay,
this is a.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
His parents owned the bank.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
His parents, Yeah, And I remember that moment. I was
like okay, and something in me switched because I was like, oh,
this guy has proper money. And as someone that didn't
write with money, you think that would have been attractive.
But it made me really weird and uncomfortable. And then
I just I went home and I found out who
he was. I looked at his I'll never forget I
(16:47):
looked on his not I just didn't go break into
his computer, but his computer was open and he ordered
like an uber Ey's Delivery or something on there, and
it had his full name on there, so I just
clocked his last name.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Wait, what do you mean you were dating some of
these didn't know the name.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
No, I did not he's last name. I just knew
his name. I was trying to be that person's like
free and like not like I didn't want to stalk
him online. I was like, let's just embrace it. This
guy's great. He's treating me well. We're getting along, like
I don't need.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
To go on stalking, buying me designed things and taking
me on Sydney. There's no questions to us anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
I did his deep dive and found out that his
family were like billionaires in the country that I lived in.
I don't want to say whatever anyway, and it just
made me fucking weird. I got weird and I couldn't
handle it, and I started to be weird because I
was like, why is he dating me? I'm not good
enough for him. I looked at his exes who were
all like these insane models, and it didn't work out.
We ended up breaking up, but I caught up with
(17:39):
him a couple of years later in BONDI. He was like,
I'm coming, not to look up or anything. He's like, Hey,
I'm coming to Sydney, I'll be in BONDI like literally
he knew I lived there, I guess, And so we
caught up and it was really nice. But he married
a supermodel or something, and I was like, see. I
was like, that's why this was going to work out,
because you married a supermodel. But that's the only person
ever that I have ever seen again from my past,
(18:03):
Like I am a real You're done to me, The're.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Same fucking you revite the moment for dinner, say I
haven't invited them to Christmas.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
If they've got nowhere.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Else to go, We're all coming to your wedding, Kisha.
I don't know if you need to cut that whole
thing out that was not planned. But I don't know.
I don't know if you guys are remotely interested in
walks down memory lane, but sometimes those memories come to us. Well.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Look, Also, I don't know if I'm the best person
to ask right now, because I got two pieces of
feedback about last week's episode, and I'm here to say
that the feedback has been taken on board.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
There was one comment on Spotify that said, this Bin
story is beyond board.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Which I say, I'm sorry, I've taken your feedback on board.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
The truth is that day I.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Really really fell off a cliff. Okay, I haven't been well, and.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
The bigger issue is so boring.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Beyond boring was the words.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
And the funniest thing about it is that not only
did I kind of fall off of a cliff that afternoon,
I think I might have actually gotten the flu or
potentially even COVID last week, but I spent four to
five days. Yeah, that were the sickest I have been
since I can remember, like since being an adult.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
I think that that was the worst I've ever been.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
And the problem was is that I wasn't as bad
when we recorded the episode. It was actually when I
was doing the edit, because usually I would hope every
now and then I will miss the mark, But usually
I would hope that I have the kind of capacity
to evaluate something and be like, this is going on
a bit long, this is a bit boring.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Maybe I should just cut this whole thing out.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You just left the whole Bin story.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
It was a bit of me that was like, do
I just cut this entire story? Like I have no
idea if this is relatable.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I don't know if anyone gives a shit about this,
And the thought did cross my mind, but I was
so unwell that I let it go through to the
keeper and I am now reflecting and thinking that was
probably one that should have been on the cutting rim.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
It was.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Look, sometimes it's a balancing act. Is it relatable enough
to be kept gin? Because sometimes we ask ourselves after
and you did. I will take responsibility for that. After
it you were like, do you think anyone cares? Do
you think anyone cares?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
But I will stop talking about it, and you know,
I just want to apologize.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
I did spend a couple of days last week on
my deathbed, and just one last thing, we spoke about
how I've had this cough for so long, and like,
we got a lot of messages and I just wanted
to clarify something very briefly, because I do understand that
the way it came out in last week's episode did
make us look a little bit irresponsible. But I actually
have had this cough for so long that a lot
of people were like, oh my gosh, Poppy, you've been
(20:34):
around Poppy. I've had it for so long that my
infectious period was over about three weeks before Poppy was born. Yeah,
it's so much just an irritation, yes, yeah, But now
that I've become sick again, I'm going to keep my
distance for a couple of weeks until, like you know,
until where we're back to normal healthy.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
I've never seen your worse in your life. Thank you.
You know that's a real friendship. Hey, you sent me yourself
And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I was like,
you duke up for Halloween?
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah, no, I wasn't well.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
Also, the strange thing about this is that I feel
as though I've had remember around COVID time and everyone
was talking about brain fog.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Actually can't believe how much I've had it.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
Yesterday I accidentally brushed my teeth with soap and it
wasn't like I was like, oh whoopsie daisies.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
I had it in my mouth and I was like,
what the fuck is that flavor? What's going on?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
And I realized that instead of putting because it's right
next to each other, right, instead of putting the toothpaste
on my toothbrush, I had put soap on there, and.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Like I was just doing all of these really stupid things.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
I went to take body for a walk and she's
a puppy, like I have to put her on the
lead before we go out the gate. I just opened
the gate and she just walked out, and I was like,
what the fuck am I?
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Like?
Speaker 1 (21:39):
What am I doing?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
I keep on doing these really stupid things like not
taking my keys to the car.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, I've lost the plot.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
The other thing that I will just say quickly because
it might affect you something else that case you did
because of brain fog. It wasn't just left at the
bitten story. We're constantly having to approve people and let
them in the Facebook group. And there were fifty requests
to let you into our discussion cup and Kisha declined
you all.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Just for clarity, I'm sorry. There's a couple hundred a day.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
We're getting through this phase where we were getting a
lot of bots in the Facebook group and it was
really annoying and everyone was having to report them and
I had to remove them all individually.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
So we started putting a question that you have to
answer to enter the group.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
And it's a good way to try and weed out
the bots because the answers that the bots give are
like really long, and they're really detailed, and a lot
of the time they'll have American spelling.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So that's a bit of a clue to me.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
I accidentally declined all of them, but rather than going
through and like individually, I.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Just clicked the button. I was on the phone for it,
and I was like, oh, whoopsie.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
So there's fifty of you. We're very sorry. We didn't
actually decline you fifty.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I don't know if there was more.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
I think like that particular page had fifty people. Casha
probably told me fifty's I'm a boss. She's probably like,
oh my gosh, there's only two people.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
He's five hundred. So please if you did request to
join the group and we declined you, we didn't mean
to decline you. Please request again and we'll let you in,
we promise. Today we wanted to talk about an article
that is circulating online. It was an article that was
published on Vogue and it is called is having a
boyfriend Embarrassing?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Now?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
It's been written by a woman called Chantey Joseph. Now.
The article opens with if somebody so much as says
my boyf on social media, they are muted. There is
nothing I hate more than following someone for fun, only
for their content to become my boyfriendified. This is probably
because for so long it felt like we were living
in what one of my favorite substackers calls boyfriend land,
(23:29):
a world where women's online identities centered around the lives
of their partners, a situation rarely seen reversed. Women were
rewarded for their ability to find and keep a man
with elevated social status and praise. It became even more
suffocating when this could be leveraged on social media for
engagement and if you were serious enough, financial gain. Now.
(23:50):
The piece goes on to argue that many straight women
today having a boyfriend no longer carries the same status
that it once did. Like they're trying to say that
it used to be a real flex to be like, yo,
I got a boyfriend and then live your couple goals life.
That is what everybody used to do, and everybody used
to be really happy for it, and people used to
be really engaged with that kind of content, But it's
(24:13):
not happening now. It went into saying that rather than
being this milestone or achievement of like, oh I'm no
longer single, I've broken that curse and I'm happy and
I'm in love that now it should be something that
we shouldn't be proud of, and it shouldn't be something
that we're aiming towards having, and it shouldn't be a
goal that is something that we're putting on our checklist,
Like we shouldn't be saying, hey, I really want a partner.
(24:34):
I'm looking for a partner. We should be embracing our
independence and our singletom. It goes on to say that
now the norms have shifted. There are a fewer hard
launch posts of romantic partners. There's this trend of the
soft launch, like the more subtle images of you know,
when you see a hand on a steering wheel, it's
usually a Bentley or Mercedes or something like. No one's
putting it on their little astro.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
All of that I understand, and I understand that we've
had like a shift in the societal norms. But the
piece even went on to say that they interviewed women
for this who said that they lost followers after they
posted about having a boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I can see where that comes from, but I think
that's a very niche market and I do have some
problems with the article as a whole, which we're going
to get into. I think the people that are losing
followers have based their content around being single, and I
remember I sort of felt similarly, like I was really
worried when I got into my relationship with Jordan, because
(25:28):
it was the first relationship I got into after a
very very very long time single dating, being really unlucky
in love.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
And you'd kind of waved that flag on the podcast
as well, like Laura was the one who's partnered up, Yeah,
were the one who was kind of having the single experiences.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Unintentionally, it became my identity. I didn't set out for
it to be, but all of a sudden it did.
And I feel like, without knowing, that snowballed and I
became the person. And because the podcast platform was so big,
I became the person that was having the terrible dates
and the really bad dating stories. And I did desperately
want to find my person and be in love, but
(26:07):
I was still happy being single at the same time.
And there's a difference between wanting to find someone and
finding them. So even though I was saying, oh, I
wish I could find my person, I fucking wasn't I
was still being ghosted, and I was, you know, like
having all these ridiculous stories, and I remember saying, to you, guys,
what am I going to do? I think I'm in
a relationship. People are not going to want to listen
to me the podcast anymore. People are not going to
(26:28):
follow me like they only follow me. And I really
felt like I had unintentionally built this life and this
identity on being this unlucky love person. And I think
the women that have been interviewed saying that they lost
followers after that, I don't think they're their everyday people
whose friends are like, oh, I don't want to be
friends with you now. I think that they're bigger people
that maybe have been flying that flag for a long
(26:48):
time and then all of a sudden, people the people
that their community is like, well, you made me feel
less alone. It's the people that are not really happy
with their relationship status. I would think that are unflow
allowing people that have found a boyfriend yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
I wonder if it's the sense of like I no
longer relate to you, yeah, or if it's actually that
you know, some people when they do have certain life things.
This can be the case for not just a boyfriend,
but like having a baby or whatever, their entire brand
online shifts to the point where you're like, well, that's
not why I followed you, know, Like it would be
the equivalent of me following someone for home renovations and
(27:24):
then all of a sudden they're posting stuff about travel, yes,
and I'd be like, well, that's not why I followed you,
So maybe it's time for me to unfollow, because like,
I'm not enjoying this content in a way that.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
I used to do.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
So like that aspect of it I actually understand, and
I think I actually agree with it.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
But the article kind.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Of went on to almost like in a way it
almost puts shame on people who were posting photos or
videos or content about the fact that they had found
a partner and that they were going to share that
partner specifically a boyfriend, and this was specifically for straight relationships,
and the fact that it kind of like reduced their
aura and it reduced their independence, and it almost made
(28:02):
out as though it was something that you should really
keep to yourself.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
The more I read it, the more angry I go.
I want to read you this one line. To me,
it feels like the result of women wanting to straddle
two worlds, one where they can receive the social benefit
of having a partner, but also not appears so boyfriend
obsessed that they come across quite culturally losorish.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Sorry, am I culturally losorish?
Speaker 3 (28:27):
I have a boyfriend, dude, I don't post him very much.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
No, but this is where I started to get a
little bit ticked off about it. I'm just sick of
and I've said it about other things. I'm sick of
They're having to be a label for everything, and now
posting your partner because you're happy makes you a loser culturally,
to me is really fucked and I think it's creating
a really big issue. We have to think about every
single thing we do in life already. And I can
(28:52):
guarantee you this is only directed at women. This is
not men. If a man posts a girlfriend, it's like, oh,
look how emotionally in touch he is, Look how much
he loves he partner. The fact that we're just lumping
this other worry and stress onto women. It's like, oh
my god, now I'm so happy and I found a boyfriend.
But what if I post him? Am I gonna get canceled?
Am I gonna lose followers? Am I a loser? Are
(29:13):
people going to look down on me? Does that mean
I'm not independent? Is it the patriarchy?
Speaker 5 (29:18):
Like?
Speaker 2 (29:18):
There are so many other things that we need to
worry about the fact that Vogue is writing an article saying, hey,
you got a boyfriend, be careful out there, Like fuck off,
That's what I want to say, if you really feel
But if you're it's just it's amazing to me that
we are now lumping this onto women again for something
else you need to think about, stress about and worry about.
(29:39):
I want to set the record straight here right now.
I'm pretty up there on part with folk. But if
you if you are in love and happy, do what
you want. You don't have to conform to what anyone
says is right or wrong or cool or uncool. Like nothing.
I hate people labeling cool and uncol Being cool to
(30:00):
me is just being authentically you. It doesn't matter what
that looks like, as long as you're not hurting anybody
and you're not completely toxic. If you want to post
your partner and people unfollow you, you don't want those
people in your life anyway. If I go on to
the other side, here, like the Devil's Advocate, I understand
maybe a deeper issue where Folk is coming from by
saying women are not wanting to post as much anymore.
(30:23):
But I think that's because they're not wanting to be
in relationships as much anymore. And I don't think that
is coming down to it being uncool. I think it's
coming down to the fact that we don't have to
be You know, we live in a different society now
where we are far more independent, but women don't need
to settle anymore. So when they go and try and
find their partner and they're out there in the dating world.
There used to be a time where we'd say, oh,
(30:45):
there are so many things that are not right, but
it's like probably the best of what I'm going to get,
so I'm going to settle for it. And we don't
do that anymore. We don't have to do it anymore.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, I can see your point.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
There was this part of the article that I actually
somewhat agreed with, and I'm just going to read this
paragraph with you. It says, obviously there's no shame in
falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying
and failing to find it or not trying at all.
As long as we're openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, having
a boyfriend will remain a somewhat fragile or even contentious
(31:15):
concept within public life. This is also happening alongside a
wave of women reclaiming and romanticizing their single life. Where
being single was once a cautionary tale you'll end up
a spinster with loads of cats, it is now becoming
a desirable and coveted status, another nail in the coffin
of centuries old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited
(31:37):
women to begin with. Now this part is where I
do actually quite agree. I feel like if you look back,
even maybe even like three to five years ago, there
just wasn't as much content that represented a comfortable and
happy single woman life. I think we're seeing a lot
more of that. But I don't like the fact that
this author is almost implying that the only way to
(31:58):
actually have that content and have it feel authentic is
to say that it's lain to have the other version,
you know, to say that it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend,
because that is no longer a symbol of status or
a symbol of success.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Well, yeah, and I think it goes a little bit
further and saying being single is a symbol of independence
and that you can only be independent if you are
out there living your best life on your own, and
I think that that is absolutely rubbish. You can one
hundred percent be in a relationship and have interdependence, and
I think it's really important. I think every relationship should
(32:33):
have interdependence instead of just being in this codependent relationship.
I'm a prime example of that, married in love, obsessed,
completely live my own life and my husband lives his
own life, and then we have a part of our
lives that we live together. I'm loud and proud about
my relationship and my love, you know, and I don't
think that that makes me a loser, But it's also
(32:55):
not my identity in my whole life. Like I have
probably more of a life outside side of Ben than
I have with him. And I think that that is
the slippery slope we're falling into where now it's just
too labeled and categorized that like, oh, you're in a relationship,
so you don't get to make choices on your own anymore,
and you don't get to have any independence and like,
(33:17):
that's not cool anymore. We have this ability to break
down the patriarchy and live our best life. So we
shouldn't be getting married and we shouldn't be in relationships,
But that's rubbish. We're still humans that want to have
these connections with people.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
Yeah, I do think that they have a point that
the idea of like being in a relationship, and I
would even extend that as far as being married was
a symbol of success. You know, it was a symbol
of the fact that you have achieved this thing that
you're supposed to achieve in your lifetime. And it does
make me wonder now if we're taking that off the table,
I feel as though we've also taken off the whole
(33:51):
girl Boss era symbol of success online, Like it makes
me wonder, what are the symbols that these people are
looking for to indicate that someone would be proud something
that they've achieved in life.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
That's my entire point of breaking down this article is
that just be authentically happy. If you want to be
a girl boss, be a girl boss. If you want
to be happy in love, do it. If you want
to never date again and travel the world, do it.
As long as you're doing it because you want to,
not because society, i e. Vogue has told you that
it's not cool to be in a relationship and post
(34:21):
your partner anymore. But it is interesting when you dive
a little bit deeper, like we are at an all
time low. The stats in Australia say that marriage here
has never been lower. We are one hundred percent are
steering away from not necessarily relationships, but definitely the extra
commitment of tying them, not legally. And I do think
it's interesting because Keisha, you don't really care much about marriage,
(34:45):
like you've been with Todd Bleerran for a couple of years,
and it's you know, it's not something we've ever really
spoken about on here a lot, but you don't really
care about locking it down.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
De Yeah, No, this is something that I'm not sure
if I've ever mentioned it on the podcast. I probably
have mentioned it in like US gun cuts in past
and that kind of thing. And I think I've been
a little bit hesitant because I've never wanted someone listening
to it to think that I was judging their choice,
which is kind of ironic based off of this article.
I've never wanted anyone who has either chosen to get
(35:15):
married or has the dream of getting married to feel
as though I was shitting on them. But the truth
is is that I have never, in my entire life
felt the desire to either get married or be married.
And I've been in my relationship for two and a
half years now, and while we've been together, we have
had a lot of friends get engaged, and we've been
(35:37):
to quite a few weddings together as like a couple,
And so every time that someone else gets engaged or
we go to another wedding, I feel as though we
kind of do this check in with each other where
we're just like, I'm just checking are you still feeling
the same about the whole marriage conversation? And we've had
the conversation where we've both said, if it was really
important to you, I would do it, but it's not
(35:59):
important to me, And every now and then I just
kind of check that we're still on that same page.
And so far we have been, and there has been
like a real part of me that has wondered why
that might be the case. There's an aspect of the
planning of it that I feel like, quite genuinely like
I would be allergic to I just don't have a brain.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's very good like that.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
I feel you in that I can give you my
planner whatever.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Happens to like the idea of having to care about
details that I just simply don't care about, Like I
have ADHD, but I am a headlines person. I don't
care about floral arrangements. I don't care about table settings.
I'm just not a person who cares about details like that.
And again, I don't want people to listen to that
and think that I'm judging you for caring. I think
(36:41):
it's lovely that you care about those things. I have
friends who love that kind of thing. They're really excited
about making their wedding day as pitchure perfect as they
have always dreamt about it. That's the thing that I
find quite strange. I cannot remember a time that I
have ever dreamt about what my wedding dress would look like,
what our aisle song would be, what our first dance
song would be like. There has never been a moment
(37:02):
that I have, even like thinking back to childhood, that
I can go, oh.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I wonder if I'll have this at my wedding.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I just genuinely have not ever wanted to have it,
and maybe it's like people will say, like, oh, you're
a child of divorce, it's because you've seen divorce and
you've seen the relationships break down. But my parents didn't
get divorced until I was like fifteen. So thinking back
and knowing that I've never thought about it even as
a kid makes me question whether that maybe isn't a
(37:31):
part of the conversation.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Well, interestingly, my parents, most of you guys know, they've
been married nearly fifty years. I think it's like forty
eight or forty nine years. And I had like a
very stable, wholesome upbringing. And I also never thought about
my wedding. I never was one of those people either.
I didn't have anything saved. I didn't have these mood boards.
I didn't know anything. I picked the song that was
(37:54):
going to be playing down the aisle for my bridesmaids
two hours before they walked down, not something that ever
consumed me. I didn't know what kind of dress I wanted.
I didn't know anything, And that is interesting because I
always wanted the relationship and the love, I think because
my parents had it, but the wedding didn't mean anything
to me. I always wanted to get engaged and I
couldn't wait for that. But I think that was more
(38:16):
just that taking the next step with a partner, being like,
we're going to do this. But I do wonder if
Ben was Australian if we would have actually ever gotten
married or just stayed engaged, because for us, it's really
important for him to be able to live here easily
one day that we are married, and that's a huge
part of why we did it. Obviously a huge party
(38:36):
is that were you love each other and are obsessed
with each other. But it also as a kid didn't
have that same I didn't have that same desire. I
don't know what it was. And planning for me, oh
my god, like Kisha worse, like even my wedding plan
was like, you need to make the decision. I can't
plan it without it. And I said, please, if I
could turn up to a wedding that someone else had
(38:57):
planned for me, I would be happy, Like I don't.
I don't need the details either. But I don't think
it's because your parents were divorced. I think it's maybe
just a product of who you are, like you're quite independent.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Yeah, it could be that, and I know that a
lot of people listening to this will be like, you're
focusing on the wedding day, not the marriage. Yeah, So
there has been a part of me that's like, is
it the wedding day that puts me off?
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Do I still want to be married?
Speaker 3 (39:21):
And I've thought about like maybe we could a lope
and all of those things, And genuinely, I actually am
trying to work this out within myself and be you know,
some people say it feels different, you feel more committed
to each other. Even my brother says that. Where I've
been like, does it feel any different? Like I feel
as though I'm making a choice, We're loyal to each other,
Like I kind of like the fact that we're not
(39:44):
legally bound.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
I like the fact that it feels more like I like.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
That I can run if I need to.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Well, Like, maybe there is a part of me that
is actually a little bit I'm trying to push away
from the idea of a commitment like that. That being said,
that also doesn't make sense to me because we have
a house and a dog now, so.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
That's different to a wedding. Though it's different to a marriage.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Yeah, but for some reason, those things feel more solidifying
to me. Like the idea of being married doesn't. It
just doesn't cross my mind. And so like reading through
this article of like, oh, it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend,
I'm like, lol, I'm probably going to be embarrassing for
the rest of my life then, because I've just never
(40:23):
had this feeling that I wanted to become a married person,
And there has been moments where I've questioned, like.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Am I missing this gene? Like am I missing this?
Speaker 3 (40:33):
It seems to be something that every woman is supposed
to desire and is supposed to want the security of
and like the stability of it. And maybe there's a
part of me that feels really lucky. I feel those
things without needing to be married. But I feel completely
indifferent to the idea of being married.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
But you like the idea of getting engaged. Ah, I
like the idea of having I like again, and I
know that this sounds so superficial. I think it's just
the jewelry. I just like jewelry. I think I like
the idea of having a cool ring.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Like, I don't know if it's the symbolism that it's
supposed to.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Feel for me.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
How does Toblerin feel he feels pretty much the same,
or at least he says he does, Like, like I said,
we kind of check in with each other over and
over again, and he just says, like it's not important
to me. I don't feel any more in a relationship
with you. I don't feel any more committed, and I
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
There's part of me that's been like maybe this is
my way of pushing back on the patriarchy, Like marriage
has been something that is socially constructed and it was
fucked for women up until probably about fifty years ago.
I would like to think that I was that moral,
but it's truly that I just don't have the feeling
of ever desiring to be married.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I totally understand that. I think a lot of people
will relate to what you said. Again, circling back, we
are at the lowest marriage rates we've ever been in Australia.
What I will say is and I didn't expect it,
but it did feel different to me. Yeah, and I
was getting married. Like I said, I love Ben, I
want to spend my life with him, but I could
have just been engaged to him also for the rest
(42:13):
of my life, like for us. It's the same commitment, right,
we know that we were committed to each other. Did
I also want a very big diamond ring. Yeah, I did.
But I was really surprised, even though it shouldn't. And
it doesn't make sense. Something switched in the relationship and
something switched in us. I don't know. It's really hard
to explain because technically nothing happens right, technically you've signed
(42:36):
a piece of paper, but there's something deeper in it
where you say, oh, I am choosing you, You're choosing me,
and we are going to make this work through highs
and lows. And I don't know. It just felt like
this change where it felt more serious and you felt
like you were taking the relationship more seriously, which I
know it doesn't make sense because you should be taken
it seriously anyway. I can't explain the feeling, but you
(42:56):
hear a lot of people say the same thing and
you can't put your finger on what it is.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah, maybe it's that I like to feel freedom.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
I think I like the fact that we're not legally
bound together and so every day it is a choice.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
And it doesn't make it like it's interesting the words
you're using as well, because you're still just as free.
You'll still always be your person that can make your
own choices, and it doesn't make you. I mean, I'm
talking about you right now. Because some people are different.
Some people become financially dependent in a relationship, and I
think that that is tricky territory. Obviously, there is times
(43:31):
it's unavoidable when you're having families and things like that.
But I think for you, Kish, it's not like putting
a chain around your ankle when you get married and
like you're locked inside anymore. You still have your life
is exactly the same. It's just a commitment. And I'm
not saying that you have to get married or you don't.
But it's interesting and maybe we need to do it
with a therapist off the podcast. It's interesting, it's interesting
(43:52):
to unpack, like as you're unpacking it now live on
the podcast, like I feel like you're discovering these thoughts
and ideas as well.
Speaker 3 (43:58):
I haven't thought about the freedom thing, but I guess
the only reason we wanted to talk about this today
is because I think that again, the narratives of wanting
the status symbol of being in a relationship, wanting the
status symbol of being married. I do feel as though
the tide is turning, and there's an aspect of that that.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
I really like.
Speaker 3 (44:18):
I just don't like the fact that this author of
this article has kind of implied that the only way
to demystify those status symbols is to make them shameful.
So that's what I don't like about the article. I
feel as though they're saying, like, oh, it's embarrassing if
you post your partner's embarrassing if you're in a relationship now,
and I'm like, well, yes, I understand, we've had an
(44:39):
oversaturation of the fact that unless you had these things,
you were kind of pathetic.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Unless you were able to reach the goals.
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Of having a boyfriend, having a marriage, all that kind
of thing, you were less than. But I don't think
that we get to the point of acceptance of other
lifestyles and other choices by shaming the people who have
done the things that we've traditionally viewed success. Well, it
is time, as like and sweet it hit me with
your suck of the week, my suck of the week.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
I'm supposed to be going to see Ben in like
very soon, in like ten days or something like that,
and it's just a bit up in the air now
because basically, like heaps of people at his team got fired.
Shit like coaches and managers and stuff, very normal in football.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
It also happened super quickly.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
That was something I learned from you guys that I
thought the media industry was cut throat.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
It seems like sport is.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
It is brutal. Yeah, if there's a couple of bad games,
the staff just get It's wild anyway. So basically they
had a couple of days off I was gonna play
over and it's just a bit up in the year.
I now, I don't know until a couple of days before.
It'll be a really last minute decision, and it might
not happen because all these people got fired. It means
(45:55):
new coaches and managers and bosses coming, and then they
might just be like, fucking fat chance you guys are
having any days off like you you know what I mean,
because they knew you don't know what they're going to
be and the schedule was based off the old people.
So it's just crazy, Like I'm a week out from
supposed to be going over there, and now I've just
got to sit and wait to see what happens and
do I book the flight, do I cancel it? Do
(46:15):
I change it? Do I put on pause? So that's
pretty wild. But my sweet this week is I have
this one friend that I've told you about sporadically over
the years. She's the friend in London, and she's the
friend that just messages me when she's like an hour
away without me knowing from London, and she'll be like, hey,
I'm she's like.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
Touched down at Sydney International Airport and she's waiting for
her bag.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Sometimes she messages me when she's in Singapore halfway and
she'll be like, hey, I'll be there in like whatever
that is, ten hours. But sometimes she lands and she'll
tell me she's coming. She knows that if I'm not there,
she knows I have like a locked box with a key.
She knows that she can she can come and stay.
But she just messaged me on the weekend and she said, Hey,
you're gonna be home tonight. I'll be there in a
couple of hours. That's the kind of friendship we are,
(46:56):
And so that was really nice and very unexpected. She
dropped in from London. I was here for a couple
of nights and then she left again yesterday. But it
was as much as it's very lucky that I don't
have a life, Like it's lucky that I don't do anything.
I don't have hobbies. I don't I don't like to
go out that much and drink. So she's like, you're
probably not going to be home. I was like, I'm home.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Absolutely, I'm definitely home.
Speaker 3 (47:17):
And as long as you're willing to watch Netflix with
me for the whole weekend.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
We're great.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
So it was good.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
I absolutely love the spontaneity that she has.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
I am a spontaneous girl myself, but even I am
not that spontaneous.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
She just must back herself. Look to be fair, it's
pretty easy to book a hotel.
Speaker 3 (47:32):
If worst came to worst, she could book a hotel,
and I'm sure that she'd have a great time by
herself in Sydney for the night.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
But I love it. I absolutely love that she's just
so close her best life.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
By the what is it something of your teeth or
something No.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
That's the wrong saying, by the skin of your teeth?
Speaker 1 (47:49):
My sife for the week is that.
Speaker 3 (47:52):
I mean, I don't want to, you know, ramp on
about being sick, but it was actually being sick with
a six month old Australian Shepherd puppy by myself. Because
if there is a breed of dog that you don't
want to be annoying you for the sake that it
needs to go out and exercise for multiple hours a day.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
It's my little darling Bonnie. And it was so rough.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
I did offer to come get her for three days, yes, yes,
but I didn't take you.
Speaker 2 (48:20):
I was like, oh, come get her. I need her.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
I'm so emotional right now.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
I feel so alone because I remember when I had
COVID and had Delilah. Yeah, I could not. You can't
look after them.
Speaker 6 (48:31):
No.
Speaker 3 (48:31):
I remember messaging me and being like, can you just
come and get her for a couple of days, Like
you can't take them out for walks. And we have
this wonderful dog walker, Grace. So she came and got
her each of the days and she, you know, she
went out and she went for the runs. But my god,
that dog is starting to develop some sass and yeah,
I feel like she's getting into those like teenage sassy years.
She's talking back a lot, there's a lot of communication
(48:53):
coming out of her. There's a lot of big feelings,
But my sweet is that I have this one beautiful friend,
soph And she came over a couple of days into
me being sick, which I told her. I was like,
don't come, I don't want to get you sick, blah
blah blah, and she was like, it's fine, I've actually
been sick myself. She brought me this like care package
and it was just such a nice reminder that for
a lot of last year she lived by herself, and
(49:15):
a lot of this year, actually sorry, she lived by herself.
And she was kind of talking to me about the
fact that when you're sick and you live alone, there's
this particular feeling of just feeling a little bit extra
lonely and a little bit like it would just be
so nice to have someone there to look after me.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
And just so everyone knows at home, it's because Todd
Bloin's away at the moment.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
Yeah, yeah, he's away for work.
Speaker 2 (49:36):
He's not just like locked her in the basement.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Actually I decided I didn't want to get married and
he left.
Speaker 3 (49:40):
So that was a real sweet and it was also
a reminder for me that if I have friends who
are in that position, whether it be that they live
alone or that they're single.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
I probably need to step.
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Up that little bit more if they're feeling unwell and
kind of be that friend for them.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
So yeah, that was my sweet of the week and
it was very, very kind of a that's it.
Speaker 2 (49:58):
Guys. Make sure you send in your ask on carts
please to Instagram. You can just put d m's ask
on cart. We'll keep you anonymous and you're accidentally unfiltered.
You're embarrassing stories, please send them in. We know you've
got some goodies hidden in there. And the YouTube. YouTube's
a big one. Every week we say at the start
of the episode we're going to push the YouTube, but
we always forget and we live it to the end.
Please go and hit subscribe on the YouTube. We've got
(50:20):
some really cool interviews coming up in the next week
or two that you're not gonna want to miss. There
some very very big guests.
Speaker 3 (50:27):
It's been a bit of a pinchby moment the last
couple of weeks, hasn't it.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Yeah, One's pretty spicy.
Speaker 1 (50:34):
That was the most obvious thing ever.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
It like one's hot, One's hot and spicy sicy.
Speaker 3 (50:40):
They work hits the kernel, think the kettle himself with
vulging the eleven secret heads and spices, but you know,
the drill friends, and because we love
Speaker 2 (51:00):
The baa baaa
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