Low libido? Try Cliterature 💦

Hey Lifers,

Producer Keeshia is still here... she's clinging on like a turmeric stain. Britt is spending the week with her mum over in South Africa. We get an update on Laura's kitten Raspberry and who her preferred parent seems to be!

In today's episode we take a bit of a shallow dive into the world of #smut, #smuttybooks & #booktok. If you've been wishing your libido would wake the f*ck up and resurrect itself, 'cliterature' might be for you!
One of us has been doing some homework and has entered the world of erotic romance novels. We discuss how these books have been hugely popular amongst women, how they've helped pleasure back into their lives and explore worlds of fantasy in a safe environment. 

Taylor Swift dropped two albums over the weekend and we know that everyone is talking about the feud with Kim, and which songs are about Joe Alwyn & which are about Matty Healy. BUT, fewer people are talking about Taylor admitting to still tracking her ex's location on Find My Friends because he forgot to disable it! We have a chat about whether we use location tracking services and how it can feel when you're the one in the break up who doesn't move on first. 

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Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
elders past and present, Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.
This episode was recorded on gadigal Land. Hi, guys, and

(00:23):
welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
I'm Laura, and I'm kay sure, and I'm still it.
Sorry toler that you who were really looking forward to
being finished with I'm a Celebrity, get me out of
here and being back on the podcast, you're stuck with
me for another week where.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
It's on Safari.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
She's having some time off, she's having some R and
R after what seems like a truly hectic ordeal.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I mean she was in the jungle for a month,
and if you don't know how the show works, like
towards the end, they fly a loved one over so
that they can be there for the finale.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
But because it kind.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Of all plays out so quickly off the back of
the eliminations, her mum was flown over to South Africa.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
So they're spending the week going on game drives to.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
Get which you would be pretty pissed if you flew
all the way over there, your kid got kicked out,
and then you just had to fly straight home.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Water waste. It's pretty long journey to South Africa hours.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
I think there are some flights that go like relatively direct,
but the one I took went up to Abu Dhabi
and then down to South Africa.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
It was a really long journey.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
What did you do when you were in Africa? Kisha,
let's just play that audio again for anyone who missed it.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
It went fun jumping, Okay, it was great experience.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
Anyway, we've got one more week, so Britt is not
going to come back until next weekend, which means she
will be back on the podcast next week. Produce Keisha,
I'd just like to take this opportunity to say you
have done a fucking fantastic job.

Speaker 3 (01:42):
Thank you, well done. I've had so they probably don't.
They probably like, wait, so one more episode.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I actually had so much fun recording with you over
the past month, so I'm glad I get to do
it for another week. But something that you mentioned last week,
I'm deeply invested in how Raspberry is going in your house.
What I'm not deeply invested in is that we brought
it up on the podcast last week, and I potentially
made the mistake of saying, hey, guys, if you've got

(02:12):
a cat and you don't think your cat's pee smells,
you're wrong and you need your friends to tell you.
Because we have been inundated with messages and one of
them was pretty full on.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
There's been a couple of people who are deeply offended
by that, Like Kisha did say that if you have
a cat, then ninety nine point n percent of the
time your house smells like cat piss, and if you
think it doesn't, it's probably because it does. And some
of you guys were really offended. And I understand that
because I'm a cat person, so I know how that
would have upset you. But also it probably does because
my house stinks. It fucking stings every day. Man, you

(02:44):
got to clean that kitty litter every day. I already
got a white two asses a day. Now I've got
to clean kitty.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
If you include your own, I forgot about line. Just
snap it off, don't on the go. Actually I have hemorrhoids.
Nothing snaps off these days. Is that too much?

Speaker 3 (02:58):
That's too much?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Sorry, I would like to put it on the record,
though I'm not not a cat person. Like I like cats,
I have nothing against them. I'm more of a dog person.
But you're not a kitty litter person.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
That's the thing, because the Life on Cut dms have
truly migrated over the past week. A week ago, every
single one of you would send us reels about plants,
like the amount of times I have been sent propagation
reels or that one old woman who's like outside holding
a tree in a storm like that reel.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
I get sent it at least fifteen times a day. Yeah,
but at least you're into the plant content. They send
it to the Life one cut Instagram, which it's my.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Job to check the messages off, and I'm like, haha.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
So funny.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
So now Keisha only gets recommendations for kitty litter. One
person sent me a recommendation for a kitty litter that
we should purchase, like a kitty litter tray.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
I shit you not.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
It was five hundred and eighty dollars and I was like, guys,
I don't know who you think I am, but currently
she's shitting in a cardboard box. A recyclable kitty litter
tray that I just would into the recycling bin.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Every three days. I'm not buying. I refuse.

Speaker 4 (03:59):
I refuse to spend five hundred dollars on a cat toilet.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
I'm trying to evaluate how much I detest the smell
of cat piss, because if it works, it's a real gamble.
It's a roll of the dice in an investment, you
expect that if you're paying five hundred and eighty dollars
for something to remove the smell of your cat piss,
that it will. If it worked, you would do it
cost of living bab Yeah, but I'd make sacrifices in

(04:27):
other I think I think that would be my upper limit.
But I think I would be like, this is an
investment because it will bring me a lot more joy.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
I won't have to just see this.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
I'd just like to point out that the kitty litter
tray cost twice the amount of the cat.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
The cat cost half.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
We've also seen quite a lot of content about how
to train your cat to poo win the toilet, which
I'm for and I am going to keep you guys
abreast of this situation because when she at the moment,
I don't think she could get onto the toilet without
falling in.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
But as she gets a bit bigger.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
I am going to have one of those households where
the cat just book just goes straight into the loo.
And I know we talked about it on Thursday, but
I'm this is happening. Follow along, Hey guys, lady in
a cat and follow my adventures. He document this, Yeah,
I will. I will be incremable. But also I think
from like an update perspective. So Matt, he's not a
cat person. He will outwardly and happily say he prefers dogs.

(05:22):
He had no interest in getting a cat, but if
I wanted one, it was fine. I was you know,
he was like, you do what you want to do.
But I'm not taking care of it. I'm not going
to pat it. I'm not going to feed it. He's like,
it will just live alongside me, but I'm not going
to show it any interest.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Ah.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
How the tables have turned Matt now is every night
the cat sits on Matt's lap. We wake up in
the morning and he's like, have you fed her yet?
She seems like she needs more food. She's meowing. Like
he's so invested in the cat. For everything to do
with the cat now, even like I left the door
slightly a jar because I went outside. I was putting
the clothes on the line, so I was right in
front of the door, and he was like, Laura, you

(05:56):
need to close the door.

Speaker 3 (05:57):
The cat could get away. Like I thought you would
have been thrilled.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
I'm not shocked by this evolution, but I am surprised
by the time it's taken one week. I thought it
would be a bit longer. I thought it would kind
of be a gradual wearing down.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
Process, but it seems it would be happening. Is it
because she's really she is very cute.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
It's happened faster than what he managed to take to
our own children.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
They're easier than children. It's true.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
That's fine, yeah, but also it's kind of one of
those things that's annoying because I have done everything. I'm
like the enthusiastic cat person, but the cat chooses the
one who's disinterested in him, Like that's the thing. The
cat prefers Matt, who doesn't show as much interest as
I do. But then I get rejected. Anyway, that's probably
enough catchat No. I think that that's for all pets.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I think when you play a little hard to get
Delilah does this with me, and I know she's manipulating me.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
This is for anyone who doesn't know.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Britz Dog Delilah I often look after and I love it.
She prefers my boyfriend because he's a bit like indifferent
to it, like he likes her, but he will also
be like, get off the lounge and show a bit
more authority.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
She's like, yeah, treat me mean. Baddy like it. I
think that animals like it, especially cats.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
This is how they got the Egyptians, the ancient Egyptians,
to worship them.

Speaker 4 (07:06):
They played hard to get That kind of works in
relationships as well, doesn't it. Anyway, Kish, there was something
I want to talk to you about, and it's something
that you have taken a real interest too recently. It
has been showing up in the Facebook group. It's something
that you have started your own little book club around,
and that is well, it's literature, but more so specifically
as you like to call it, literature, romance and sexy novels,

(07:28):
which I didn't realize that they'd made such a comeback,
and that this is a thing that this is like
a genre of books that people are deeply into. But
there's a whole subcategory for it on TikTok at the
moment as well.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, just to be clear, this is not a new thing.
It's just a new thing for me, and I am
a beginner to this. There is such a fierce culture
behind smut book talk, and I'll get into.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
That smutty talk that I feel a little bit like.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Me talking about on a podcast is like the most
beginner entry level, like not even toenail being dipped in.
And there will be people who are experts in this
field who are like, oh my god, so please don't
message me telling me that everything that I'm saying is wrong.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
I'm mute to this and I'm just having a lot
of fun in it.

Speaker 4 (08:09):
I'm sorry about how can you be wrong when it
comes to reading smutty literature.

Speaker 3 (08:13):
I don't understand how there's a right or wrong.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
I didn't know that there's such a deep subcategory or
subculture of smuttiness out there.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well, because even when I posted in the Facebook group
about it being called literature, I was told that that's
not the most appropriate term, but.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
I really like it.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's like an amalgamation of clit and literasy literature.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
What is the most appropriate term well, it seems to be.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
And I don't know whether this is because of algorithms
like censoring certain words, but it seems to be as
though smut and hashtag spicy.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Book talk are the most used or smut books.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
Can I just say if people are getting offended by
the word litera chart because they're saying it's not the
most on trend, people need to stop being offended by
things or go touch grass, Like, we get offended by
a lot, and I'm okay with it, but I draw
the line at smut talk.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
I think there might be a little bit of a
like a Again, don't the best way to describe this.

Speaker 3 (09:01):
Essentially, authors who are prolific.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
In this space and are very very successful have been
slightly diminished in the authoring world because of the type
of content that.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
They write, and it because they're writing pornos.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Well kind of, and people are like, it's a bit
patronizing to not recognize their success as great as we
should because they are just as you know. So I
do understand that there could be something a little bit
more deep behind it, But I.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Really like the word and I think it's fun.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
Okay, So for someone who sits on the other end
of the spectrum. Like, I love reading, and when I
have time to do so, I always get reminded by
how much I enjoy it. But I don't have the
time at the moment, and I certainly haven't invested into
anything that smutty. And what I mean by that is like,
probably the smuttiest thing that I read at the time
was Fifty Shades of Gray, like the series.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Which I don't even think was that. I think it
was pretty vanilla really well. I mean, I've never read it,
and I've also never seen the movies. Very vanilla.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
I think that that was like the world's introduction to
that type of content. I think it existed long before it,
but it became very popular at the time, and now
on tik talk, over.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Four point eight billion.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
People use the hashtags either smart smart books or spicy
book talks. So it's like this whole genre of erotic
romance and it's specifically centered around female pleasure. So the
reason I actually initially kind of decided that I wanted
to dip my toe in smart books is because I
saw this post in the Life on Cut discussion group,
and it was from a woman who was saying she

(10:24):
was a couple of months postpartum, she was basically saying
that her libido had gone to shit, and she was like, guys,
I need to help. How do I get my sex
drive back? And quite a few of the comments from
people were saying, you need to get into these types
of books because they will absolutely turn you on, and it.

Speaker 3 (10:39):
Will your libido will be back, just believe me. And
I was like, wow, that's kind of is this the
secret sauce to the Tingles?

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Well, in my own life, like I have seen, I've
felt a little bit of a decrease in my sex drive.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
Could be hormonal.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Not sure what's going on there, but I was like, Okay,
I would like to get into this, but I'm not
much of a reader.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
I feel like, can we read for work like we
often read? Totally we're not reading for pleasure quote unquote.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
But I do get a lot of pleasure out of
the books of the authors that we have on the podcast,
but I've not really It's not something that I do
for myself, if that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
And so I thought, Okay, I need to get into reading.
I need to do this before bed blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
And I was talking about it with a group of
my girlfriends at the beach and we decided, like I
think like a lot of women do that.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
We were like, let's start a book club. So, way
is your book club that you have?

Speaker 4 (11:30):
Is it only smutty books or is it anything books?
Because do you read like female pleasure porn and then
all talk about it in a group chat.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
No, but it's very new.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
So I am the connective tissue of this group because
what ended up happening is that I had a couple
of friends that wanted to catch up on a Sunday.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
This is a couple of weeks ago. This'd be like
maybe six weeks ago, and I was like, let's go
to the beach.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
And then I had more friends that wanted to catch
up and I was like, oh, well just come along.
You know, it's a it'll be a group hang and
you can meet the other girls. And it was me
who was like, oh, I need to get more into reading.
And quite a few of those girls are already readers.
So we decided to make a WhatsApp group and we
called it book club. And because I was kind of
the instigator of it, I was like, guys, I'll choose

(12:14):
the first book, which is where I went wrong because.

Speaker 3 (12:17):
I'm not the reader.

Speaker 4 (12:18):
Well, producer Keisha brought the book that she recommended today
and it is sitting there next to computer because you
just hold it up for anyone who's watching on YouTube.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Well, this was recommended in the Facebook group. It's called
Pucking Around. It's by Emily Wrath and it's got two
hockey sticks on the front. Great if you love a
part pucking Around. It's about hockey, right, so ice hockey,
which is hot. Anyway, I did not realize that this
book was seven hundred pages.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
Yeah, it's like Shanta ram Verse Pucking Around. They're kind
of the same size. That's an ambitious read for a
first one. But can you just like open up a page.
I want to see I want to see the.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Level of read it to me in a dirty voice
I feel as as I read this too, I want
to make eye contact. I don't know if that's going
to stop touching yourself. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
I gladly fall to my elbows on the counter, a
smile on my face as he buries his hand between
my legs. His other hand massages my ass cheek, giving
it a sharp slap that I feel straight through my clip.
You're gonna take me deep, he orders, pressing in with
his hips, his cock wet with my release. I hope

(13:31):
you're not listening to this with children in the car.
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah, we should do on a warning.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
My bad.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Sorry, Well we did say we were going to read it,
so if your kids are listening, that's your fault.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
As he slides it in between my legs, please a whimper.
You want me to come inside you, don't you, he teases, softly,
nipping the lobe.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Of my ear. How frequently does this happen throughout the book?

Speaker 1 (13:54):
Like?

Speaker 4 (13:54):
Is it like every five pages? Is it like every
is it every chapter?

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Well, I'm quite shamefully so little through it that you
already reached this part?

Speaker 3 (14:03):
No I didn't. Actually, the funniest part is that to read.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
That, I just flicked to a random page and like
that's the level of horny. But my friends who have
gotten their way through the entire seven hundred pages, like
these are some of the messages that have come in
my WhatsApp group, I just screenshot them. Guys, this book
is legit making the horny teenager same, Like it's such
a light read, but there's so much sex.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
How did she randomly stumble into three guys this horny?

Speaker 2 (14:32):
So yes, my answer is it absolutely will get your
juices flowing. I don't know whether you're going to think
it's a it's like a literature masterpiece. It's definitely not poetry.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
But I quite like that. You know, I'm gonna compare
it to something like Jane Austen. That's a heavy read.
It's pretty hard.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
The language is very like delicate, and it's very flowery
about this.

Speaker 4 (14:57):
But I think the thing that about this that is interesting.
We talk so much about like how do you get
desire back in your relationship? How do you get your
libido back? This isn't completely no pressure way of going
about it. And not only is it no pressure, but
if you're in a relationship, your partner doesn't even need
to know that that's the reason why you're reading it,
Like they don't need to know what's in it. You
could be sitting in bed reading a book and your

(15:18):
partner would have no knowledge of what the contents is,
so you could use it as like a bit of
a self experiment and it would be very little pressure
to do.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
So, Yeah, there's something that feels quite classy about it with.

Speaker 2 (15:31):
And it's funny you mentioned that the person next to
you won't know that that's what you're doing. One of
my girlfriends put a message in the group chat.

Speaker 3 (15:38):
Is what it said. She wrote, I'm currently on a plane.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
I pulled out the book and a lady walked past
me to go to the bathroom, and in front of everyone,
she went, you're bold that one's filthy.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
So this stranger will it takes one to know one?
You clearly read it exactly exactly?

Speaker 4 (15:58):
Would you read this in public or would you only
say this for nighttimes?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
I think I feel the pressure right now to read
it in public because I'm so far behind for book club.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
That I'm feeling the pressure that I need to catch up.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Like we're having book club tomorrow night and I've only
gotten through not even a.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Quarter of it.

Speaker 4 (16:16):
And do you read this and then want to have
sex with your partner? It definitely increases the arousal.

Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, but usually in my situation, I probably need to
change the timing of my reading because he's asleep.

Speaker 3 (16:27):
Bud, You're like, hello, wait, wait, take it up early
for work.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Look, if you I mean, if you have any recommendations,
if you've read a smutty book and you were like
that one really got the Fanny Tingles going put it
into the Facebook group because then we'll start a thread
in there. I think for anybody who is wanting to
get their libido back, who is wanting to take matters
into their own hands and would try anything, but also
doesn't want the pressure of having to try everything, this
could be a really great place to start, So like, put.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
It in there.

Speaker 4 (16:54):
I know that it exists on TikTok and everything else,
and you can find them yourselves. But if you've read
it and you've done the research, share it. Don't gate
keeper that stuff. Share it with the rest of us.
What it was really lovely is it?

Speaker 2 (17:05):
When I asked for recommendations, there were so many, So
I love that there.

Speaker 3 (17:08):
Are women who are like this one was great for me.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
There's also a lot of different types, Like there's fantasy
based and I don't mean fantasy in how we would
talk about sexual fantasy that also exists, like there's one
for all different kings.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
You mean they're on the moon, and like living with fairy.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
There actually are ones that involve like a fantasy style
that's not my personal type of content.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
I liked this one because it kind of.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Centered around sport, and I was like, well, I'm into that,
so I'll read the ice hockey based one.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
What about it? You wrote down here? Fairy porn? What's that?

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah? That's something I thought it was new, but it
turns out it's been around since, like the term has
been around since like twenty twenty one. Apparently there's a
type of erotic literature where it centers around.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Fairy This is like cosplay. This is cosplay porn.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I don't know what point it turns into bctlity, but
fairyes aren't animals.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
They're humans with wings, not tiny humans.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
I don't know when it becomes more about like the
other creatures in the woods, but that's up to you.
There's also a really good This came recommended to me
a lot, and I've started following her on Instagram and
TikTok and name is Tierney Reads and she there's heaps
of people who do this kind of thing on BookTok.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
So they review smart books and they will put up.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Like the stars of what they think of the actual book,
and then they'll also put up chili's to.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Say how spicy was. So I'm just dipping my toe
in the low chili ones.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
But I'm sure that you can find something that kind
of goes with your own interests as well, because there's
so so many of them. And look, I actually have
found it a really fun way to kind of get
my sex drive. I know that that sounds like it's
something that I feel a little bit uncomfortable talking about,
being like.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Hey, guys, my sex show's been really lowly. Ever, everyone's
sex drive goes up and down.

Speaker 4 (18:50):
Yeah, if you were like I only have a high
sex drive, I'd be like, get out Kisha boring. And
I think also when you're in long term relationships or
you're living with your partner and you see them all
the time and there's not the desire and the intensity anymore,
Like that's just a I don't want to say it's
normal and that it has to happen to everyone, but
I think for a lot of us that's a normal
ebb and flow of a relationship.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
And apparently it can be a really fun way for
people to explore kink, so to kind of dip their
toe in it without actually being the person who's dipping
their toe in it, because you're kind of experiencing it
secondhand through reading about it, and so a lot of
people have found different things that they're into through reading
the books.

Speaker 4 (19:30):
Most things that's center around pleasure are for pleasure for men.
Right like porn, most porn is made for men. Even
porn that's made for women still often has a palatability
towards men, whereas these books are very much written for
women's pleasure, and the way in which they're written, the
people who are consuming this are women.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
Would you get into this type of real can need
to pass it on after I'm done?

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Can you wipe it down first?

Speaker 4 (19:55):
Now, something that the entire world is talking about at
the moment is Taylor Swift And part of me hates
that we're talking about it, not because I don't adore her,
but because I am sure that there's people out there
who have had enough, because if you're not as Swiftie,
you're probably sick of hearing about her, because every single
person is talking about her at the moment. Every news outlet,
every fucking podcast, every article or everything posted on Instagram, like,

(20:19):
everybody is talking about her.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
I feel a little nervous talking about her because I
really like Taylor, But you're like I'm going to get
something wrong and they'll come for me. There are people
who know much more, and I don't want to speak
from a position of power, and we don't.

Speaker 4 (20:32):
We absolutely don't. We are not those people like you
guys know. I am very much enjoy it. Had so
much fun at the concert. She is incredible. Do I
know the intricacies of her and her cat's names, No,
I don't, but I still very much value it. And
I also love the new album. Listen to it all
the weekend. Okay, so for anyone who doesn't know, which
I know, they don't exist, but the new album came

(20:53):
out the Torture Poets Department. It's what she teased on
her recent ERR's tour. And I think there's been so
many people who have been waiting with beta breath for
this to drop, which it did on Friday last.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Week, and then she had a double surprise and she
ended up dropping two albums.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
Why not when you're Taylor Swift day Like, why not?
Wend does this woman's sleep?

Speaker 4 (21:09):
Like?

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Sorry, you've just been touring the world for however many years?
How do you also have the time to record that
much music? I don't think that sleep is one of
her hobbies like it is for you, K. I don't
think she has a sleep app. I reckon she's if
she was going to actually document it to be fair,
Actually take that back, Taylor Swift is good at everything
she does.

Speaker 3 (21:26):
She's probably even good at sleep. Yeah, she'd have better
sleep hygiene.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
And she's devastating to me because it's something I really
care about. Look, I did also listen to I Haven't
made my whole way through it. There are people who
were so in Taylor Swift's world that they were like, Okay,
I'm clearing my weekend plans and I want to sit
down with headphones on.

Speaker 3 (21:44):
From wo to Go, people had listening parties.

Speaker 4 (21:47):
I was on Instagram on Friday night and people were
doing live listen parties where they were streaming their reactions
to listening to the music.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
So they were like that for their people were.

Speaker 4 (21:58):
Like crying and screen and the amount of energy that
one must need to maintain to get through two albums
with that sort of intensity. I didn't have that, but
I appreciate that people out there are so invested in
doing this it's almost unfathomable.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
Like the rip she has.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
Yeah, but for the length of time that she's had
it and for how that kind of just maintains, Like
the fact that we've just done this Taylor's with frenzy
of the aerostour, and now she's managed to bring it
back up again and go for a round two.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
It's really quite remarkable.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
What I find really remarkable is that she has such
a unique way of making whatever she's experiencing in her
music relatable for people.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
And I actually noticed that in this whole album.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
And I think most people were assuming that this was
going to be a Joe Alwen breakup album. They were
together for like six years or something, and there are
absolutely there are songs about him on the album, but
I think most people were expecting more, and they were
expecting her to kind of go.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
A little maybe harder on he can take down, yeah,
and I have to destroy him.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
Like I said, I have heard every song, but from
what I've heard and what I've read, it seems as
though either they had a relatively non nasty breakup or
she's doing the classy route of like I'm not gonna
shit on you too much in this album. Who she
did shit on was Mattie Healy. I think for a
lot of people who are, especially those who are dating.
There are so many songs about breakups, and there are

(23:20):
so many songs about breakups of these deep loves, these
long term relationships, but I don't feel as though there's
as much written about the two month relationships. And when
you're dating, you're often going through that emotional rollercoaster so frequently,
but you're not really given the validation perhaps of like
it's reasonable that you feel this upset or it's reasonable

(23:43):
that you have this much emotion about this situationship that
totroken down.

Speaker 4 (23:47):
Well, if anything, most of the time you're invalidated. It's
not even it's the opposite. It's like when and especially
if you're the person who is in that dating cycle
and you have friends who are in long term relationships.
Often when someone goes through like another relationship failure or
another one that doesn't quite work out, even though it's
been very short lived and from the outset, they weren't

(24:07):
that invested in it. The person who's upset isn't even
necessarily that upset about that relationship. They're upset about the
fact that they're once again it didn't happen for them,
or once again they're back into this like having to
date cycle.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
I guess totally. It's that yo yo of excitement dist excitement.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
And I really like that Taylor included so much of
this album centered around those emotions, and for her it
was with Maddie Healy and they they're roomed to have
dated for like two months, you know, a month, two three?
Who knows?

Speaker 3 (24:36):
For everyone whose.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
Experienced love, they're like, well, I can relate to at
least some part of this I thought was very smart. Mmmm.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
Well, the thing that we wanted to talk about, I mean,
there's been a few Easter eggs, and the stories that
have received like the most media attention are like the
spat between her and Kim Kardashian and that having in
a little Easter egg, and then obviously the Matti Heey stuff.
But one of the topics that came up off the
weekend and the thing that we wanted to have a
discussion about is one of the songs, which is called
the Black Dog. Now, this song is about Joe Owen

(25:04):
and it's about their relationship and more specifically around when
they had gone through their breakup.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
And these are the lyrics.

Speaker 4 (25:11):
I am someone who until recent events, you shared your
secrets with and your location. You forgot to turn it off,
And so I watch as you walk into some bar
called the Black Dog and pierce new holes in my heart.
You forgot to turn it off, and it hits me.

Speaker 3 (25:28):
Which can we.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
Just take a moment and all like untangle ourselves from
the tailor's swift frenzy and everything else, because I know
she can do no wrong.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
But at the same time, she's singing a song.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
About how she still looks at her ex boyfriend's location
services because he still has Find my Friends on. She
is and I don't want to use a word that's
loaded with a lot of negativity, but she's stalking his location.
She knows where he is without him giving actual direct consent,
because I would say that when you break up with someone,

(26:01):
the consent that you have given for them to track
your location is instantly removed. Yes, I do think it's
slightly softer than that, though, because it's not like she
broke into his phone and loaded it up there without
him knowing about it.

Speaker 3 (26:15):
He's just forgotten to turn it off.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
As she said, she said, you forgot to turn it off,
So I mean he forgot to.

Speaker 3 (26:22):
Turn it off.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
But like, and I don't want to point bubs because
I think a lot of us have been in this situation.
But just because someone forgets to turn off their location services,
you've been through a breakup, you had access to their
location up until that point. There has to be a
point of self control where you go. I'm not supposed
to see this anymore, So I'm gonna unfollow this person's
notifications as to where they are.

Speaker 3 (26:43):
Yeah, but with correct me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
With find my I am assuming this is iPhone and
like find my Friends or whatever it is in the app. Apparently,
when you stop viewing someone's location or they stop sharing
it with you, you get a notification. So it's kind
of like unf friending someone on Facebook. If you be
them getting a notification that you've done it, it's like
a whole other step of For me, it would feel

(27:06):
a bit like a dagger of like, wow, that's everything
in my life is changing, and that's a perfect symbol
of what is changing in my life.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
They you know, we used to share everything.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
We used to share a home, we used to share
where we were so for safety, and now that too
has ended. I feel as though it could be something
that if you went through an amicable breakup. You might
just delay doing that for a bit because you're like,
I just don't want to rub the salt.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
In the wound. It's like the finality of it.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Yeah, yeah, I understand that, I think, and I like,
don't get me wrong, this is not me getting on
my high horse being.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
Like this is so problematic. It's creating a culture, Like
I don't think it is.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
I don't think that this is going to have like
long term cultural impacts on people. But it does create
a little bit of a gray area, I guess because
so many of us behave in ways that are not
Like if you said to me when you've been through
a breakup that you were still tracking your ex boyfriend's location,
I would, as a friend say to you, Keisha, you're
being crazy and you need to stop that because that

(28:03):
is really unhealthy. And I don't care if you've been
broken up for a week or you've been broken up
for two months, you need to stop. And from your
own level of self preservation and also from a place
of his privacy, you need to be the bigger person
and unfollow that, regardless of whether he gets notified or not.
So I think it's a very interesting call as someone
who is such a huge public figure as what she

(28:23):
is to admit that this is something that she's still doing,
because it is such undesirable behavior that we would call
out of any of our friends if they were doing it.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
I completely agree.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
I remember times in my life, particularly when I dated
toxic people, and I'm thinking of one in particular, and like,
I am not proud to admit, but I used to
look at his social media like a hawk, Like as
soon as we broke up, I would be like, what
are you doing?

Speaker 4 (28:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (28:51):
But I guess there's a difference in that because he
has a choice as to what he posts. And I
also think that he probably posted things to deliberately spite me,
like you know, post the Instagram stories out at the
bars and like the little insinuations that you're like, oh, okay,
you're moving on totally.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
But I think that that's very, very different for two reasons.
One because it's obviously curated, and two because the time
you know you're not actually you don't need to post live.
You don't need to post where you are, when you're
there and what you're doing. People can choose to do that,
and they can choose to post live or they can
save those photos and post them the next day, whereas
like when you've got someone's location services on, you know

(29:27):
where they are, you know what they're doing. Maybe like
we're unpacking this in too much of a granular level,
But at the same time, there would be people who
just genuinely forgot that someone's able to see their whereabouts,
and I think that that creates a real problem. I
do think that once you're not in a relationship anymore,
their implied consent around knowing where that person is at

(29:48):
all times is instantly taken away. So whether they remove
it from your phone or they don't, you should be
removing it from your phone.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
Yeah, I mean, I completely agree with you.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Imagine writing a fucking song about that's inside thoughts, they thoughts,
that's stuff that should not be shared with three hundred
million people.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Put that in your diary.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
I know she, I know that her songs are her
verbal diary, but she needs a real one as well.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
I see.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
I think that there is a certain amount of vulnerability
to that that I go, oh, yeah, I can see
why you felt like you wanted to just know what
they were doing.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
And I'm talking about non.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Problematic relationships Obviously there is a very dark side to
location track total that we're I'm not referring to that
right now, but how do you actually feel about location
tracking in general? Because I do not have one person
that knows where I am at all times, neither.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
I don't have it on my phone.

Speaker 4 (30:37):
It's an interesting one to me because I would say
the only times were I've ever felt as though I
wanted to have location tracking on a partner's phone was
because I didn't trust them. So therefore my intentions behind
having it wasn't pure. It was to keep tabs on
them because the relationship was toxic. He often wasn't where
he said he was going to be, and he lied

(30:57):
a lot, So my version of real reality was always
being challenged because my intuition and everything about myself was
saying this is not true. He is lying, but he
would be saying something to me point black, as though
it was fact. And I think when you have that
push and pull in yourself, you often try and reach
for any sort of truth, and so location services can

(31:20):
provide that. Whereas like in my relationship with Matt, now
Matt would have no problem with doing it, but there's
no part of me that feels as though I need
to do it. I don't care to know where he is.
I know some people do it as a safety thing.
Maybe you're a shift worker, maybe you live or you
have to move through areas that feel like deeply unsafe
to you. Maybe you get public transport in the nighttime,

(31:40):
whatever that is. I can understand the safety element for it,
but I don't feel as though in our relationship that
that safety element applies. I don't think we're ever in
a situation where I would go, God, I need to
know where matters right now to make sure that he's safe,
or vice versa. So therefore I kind of question, well,
what is the purpose of having it? But I do
think it's really important for parents having it for their kids,

(32:01):
and I think that there is some level it doesn't
encroach in their privacy. It is genuinely something that some
people are entitled to know, and I think with a
parent dynamic that exists.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Wow. As a teenager, I am really glad that this
didn't exist totally. I did some naughty things and I
was definitely places that I lied about to my mum.
And if you're listen to this, sorry mom, but it's
true and I worked out fine.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
They're like, Mum, you still don't know about it.

Speaker 4 (32:23):
No, I think from a kid perspective, and I know
that this has kind of taken off tangent a little bit,
but I will do this with our girls when they're older. Like,
if you want a phone and I'm paying for your phone,
then you can turn your location services on. And I
don't think that that's it is a bit of an
ultimatum when it comes to kind of like phone use.
But at the same time, if you want the independence

(32:43):
to be able to do those things, and you want
me to pay for you for that independence, then you.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
Can turn your location services on.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
I'm thinking about this in my own life, and I
have a couple of friends who most of them are single,
so they have it on with a couple of their
close friends. And I think that that is mostly from
a safety perspective, because they're going on dates with new
people quite frequently.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Yeah, And I.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Don't know why, because I can see the logical nature
of this, and I so trust my boyfriend that I
don't know why.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
I still feel as though if I was asked.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
To share my location with someone, I just feel uncomfortable
about it, and I have. I still cannot think of
the logical reason as to why that's the case, because
I don't do dodgy things. Yeah, I don't go places
that I'm not supposed to be, But there's just a
part of me that is like, maybe it could be
used against you, even though like no one in my
life has given me a reason to feel that way.

(33:38):
You know, it's this is actually a reflection of me,
not of them.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
No, but I think it's also a reflection of the
world and being very aware that there are relationships that
can turn toxic really quickly. I would say, if you're
in a new relationship and the person that you're dating
asks you to share your location services with them and
vice versa, I wouldn't say, don't do it, but I
would also say, like, look out for any other red flags,
because I sometimes think that these things we can look

(34:04):
at that as flattery. We can go, oh, they really
want to know where I am, and they you know,
they care so much about me, and they're so invested
in this relationship, and it's like opening up a joint
bank account together. That can feel like a real relationship milestone,
which it can be, and it can be an incredibly healthy,
beautiful relationship milestone. It also can be the indication of
a relationship moving faster than what it should because the

(34:26):
relationship in essence will turn toxic or that person wants
to have a level of control over someone. But coming
back to the conversation around like Taylor Swift singing literally
singing a song about the fact that she still has
access to where her ex boyfriend's location is, she probably
doesn't now he's probably I'm really sure he's turned it
off now, I guess part of me and I know

(34:48):
it sits in the grave because normally I would be
the first person to say this is deeply problematic and
we shouldn't be platforming this. And I think I can
acknowledge my bias because I like her so much and
I know that she is a person, or shouldn't say
I know, I don't know her at all, but I
assume she as a person is not problematic. And therefore
this is a reflection of being someone who's really heartbroken,

(35:08):
not ready to sever every part of the breakup, and
so they're still holding onto hope that maybe they'll get
back together. And some of these actions feel really fine
or you know, especially knowing that it sends a notification
to that person, like it's.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
The digital I'm going to come over and collect my things, Yeah,
so that I never have to see you again.

Speaker 3 (35:24):
It feels so final.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
But I think there is something quite kind in the
vulnerability around it. And I say that because I think,
as most women or most people going through breakups, we
don't all behave perfectly. We all do things that maybe
er on a side where if we were to see
our friends do it, we would go, hey, you might
need to rethink that behavior.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
Also, when we like zoom out and you look at
it from a historical point, like I look at some
of the behavior I did in breakups two years ago,
I mean, that's fucked.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
That's what I mean. And I'm not saying that you're
a danger. I'm not saying that you're deeply problematic. But
I am saying that wakeups cause us to do things
that we are not proud of. And I do appreciate
the visibility over her behavior because I think it makes
people feel less stupid, I guess. But also I do
think that maybe there is a bigger conversation around normalizing it,
and does that then make people go, oh, it's Okay,

(36:16):
Taylor Swift did it.

Speaker 3 (36:17):
I don't know. I don't know where the line is.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Ah, if this song was a bit like I tracked
you so that I could follow you and I can
know exactly what you're up to.

Speaker 3 (36:26):
If there was.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
A conclusion to what she did with the information, then
it's problematic.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
But really she just sat there and was sad. She
just cried.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
She was just sad because it's like indicative of the
fact that he was moving on. And I think that
that is something that we've all personally felt, and like
I look back on some of the things that I
would witness of my ex's moving on, and it fucking
breaks you. Like this would just feel as though this
person is going out and doing things in their life,
and maybe you're not. Maybe you're still at home devastated

(36:55):
by something. You're really shattered, and you can feel as
though you're the one who's like left behind in the
moving on process.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
One thing that can be seen in isolation as very bad,
which it is when you look at it within a
greater context of the discussion, you're like, yeah, okay, look
it's a shade of gray. Let's get into accidentally unfiltered.
So these are your most embarrassing stories of the week.
Thank you for sending through. And if you haven't sent
us one, if you have an embarrassing story that you've

(37:23):
been like, you know what, I really should tell the girls,
but then you keep forgetting to tell us. Fucking send
it in to Life on Cut podcast on Instagram, and
I'm going to go first. I cut my fingernails and
toenails the other day, and I put all the clippings
into a plastic bag with the intention of throwing that
plastic bag away.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
The problem me here is the word intention, out.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
Of the intention of getting rid of them. Fast forward
to the weekend and I went to the shops to
exchange a shirt I got as a gift that was
a size too small. I gave the bag to the
lady at the desk with the shirt inside. She turned
the bag upside down and tipped it out, and out
fell the shirt along with all of my fingernail and

(38:03):
toenail clippings. I totally didn't register that the bag I
used to take my shirt back was also the same
when I had used a few days earlier to collect
all of my clippings.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
I am mortified. What would you do?

Speaker 4 (38:17):
Also if you were that woman, if you were that
woman who had had the shirt return, you would be like,
this is you.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
There is something so particularly gross about nables and I
don't know why.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
It's just keraten. It's fine when it's on your body,
but weird when it's on the floor. It's fine when
it's yours, all of them, it's not fine when it's
a strangers.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
Like you know, if you were at the gym and
you're on the map, you know, the like flooring at
the gym, and everything's fine, and you're doing a burpie
and you're real brow of yourself, and then you like
look to the side and there's someone else's nail there.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
It makes you do a different kind of burpy. It's
enough for me to leave. There's just something so great.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
I feel so sorry for this woman who had to
like and also there were multiple it's not like just
why she's done her full fingernails and for the twenty
there's twenty of them.

Speaker 3 (39:05):
I'd not be like funding you.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
I don't think I could refund you. Do you have
to pay a tax for that? I mean this as
someone who works in retail. If I pulled out a
wedding ring and it was covered in toenails. I'd say,
this is used. You're not returning this in the order
in which I gave it to you in No, I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
What do you do?

Speaker 3 (39:22):
Did you get a refund? I need to know. Did
she just brush the toa clippings off the counter? What
did she do?

Speaker 4 (39:27):
Did you all pretend like it didn't happen? Did you
just like stand there and ignore the pace?

Speaker 2 (39:31):
She pretended like that didn't happen. She's a better woman
than I am.

Speaker 4 (39:35):
I'm so sorry. My mom must have clipped her nails
into a bag. This is humiliating. I hate my husband, disgusting.
My husband's a pig, what an absolutely filthy pig. I'm
gonna go home and get divorced right now.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
I have an accidentally unfiltered today that has actually come
in from my friend. Sophie works at the radio here
and she's a Kiwi. She said, when I was back
in New Zealand, I went and had a normal doctor's appointment.
It was like a general check up and you know,
all the female stuff. As we finished, I was sitting
across from her. You know when you like, you know,
when you finish and you're still sitting on the bed
and they're punching all the data into the computer.

Speaker 4 (40:10):
And you just don't put your pants on and go
and sit on the seat. You don't just sit on
the bed. I put my pants on and just sat
back up on the bed table. Okay, No, Nah, it's
too intimate. I need to go back and say I
put my pants on, I go and sit on the
seat where I came in and sat down.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Okay. Well, so she's sitting on this bed as the
doctor's in putting the information, and she saw this bottle
of clear liquid beside the bed. So she's like, oh good,
I'll give my hands a clean with the hand sanitizer,
and she squirts it all over her hands, covers her
hands and she's rubbing them together, and she's like, this
is a weird consistency.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
Like because obviously hand sanitizer as soon as you start
using it starts evaporating. Yeah, Like it starts drying out
real quick, thin too, yeah, like alcoholy.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
So, in her.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
Confusion, the doctor turned around and looked at her and
was like, ah, Sophie, that's loob.

Speaker 3 (40:59):
She said, Now my hair is sticky, completely covered in loop.
As they sit there with my legs just hanging off
of the vest.

Speaker 4 (41:06):
There's something really grounding about the fact that your feet
don't touch the floor either, Thank her fucking child, A
la la swinging them. It's fine, you're fine, You're okay.
You can do weird things in front of doctors. They
don't care. That is true, Like if you were ever
gonna be in safe company to do weird stuff, it's
in front of a doctor.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
She just how stupid.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Also, because there's an element of leg you were instructed
to do that, Yeah, you didn't.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
You kind of took the liberty of I'm just gonna
help myself to this to the loop. You're like, I'll
use that for later.

Speaker 4 (41:35):
Sorry, you walk out without you walk out with your
literature book and you'll lived up hands and you're like, sorry,
I'm ready actually use this. She's just like, I'm ready,
I'll take this home right now.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Well, I think that this would probably be her suck
for the week. But do we want to get into
second suite the highlight and low light of our weeks?

Speaker 3 (41:55):
What was your suck? What was my suck?

Speaker 4 (41:58):
I know I knew this has come and now I
can't even remember. Oh, I had a mighty mighty fight
with Matt. That can be my suck.

Speaker 3 (42:04):
I had a real doozy of a fight.

Speaker 4 (42:07):
You know when you have those fights where afterwards it
takes you a couple of hours, but you're like, I
hate my husband.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
That's the feeling in my body.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
I hope that this is relatable, because like, I get
such fury after a bad fight, where like we don't
see eye to eye.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
The fury in me is so unreasonable, And then I'm
not true. I know it's no, it is true. I
know it subsides.

Speaker 4 (42:27):
I know that this is why we always say the
way you feel is not real, not instantly anyway, your
reaction to something is not your real reaction.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
What's your fight style too? Ah?

Speaker 4 (42:36):
Well, actually I just went quiet this time. I just
couldn't be bothered. I think we tried to work it out.
We were not seeing eye to eye. We're not yellers,
like we don't yell. We just kind of throw a
few barbs. We were trying to talk through it, but
neither of us were seeing each other's point of view.
And it was actually quite late. Whereas I know, I
said a few weeks ago that we never go to
bed angry. But I was just like, we're not going
to resolve this tonight, and I feel so angry. So

(42:58):
I'm gonna lay here and stare at the sea, and
every ten minutes I'm going to just say one thing
to you.

Speaker 3 (43:03):
So you can't fucking sleep either. That was my fight.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
Style both, so so we would we would almost get
back to sleep, and I'd be like, it's interesting that
you think that, though, Matt, because.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
You know how you said this whenever it does it
it's interesting. It's actually it's actually not interesting.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
So we could have just had a fight and made
up and we would have both been to bed at
a normal time. But because I, over the space of
another hour, brought up six new points, but I made
sure they left a good amount of space in between,
just to be real fucking annoying, because I can't sleep
if I'm angry.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
There's no way I'm I cannot sleep angry.

Speaker 4 (43:36):
And I always said this recently, but anyway, I had
a lot of fury in my body, and I was like,
I guess this is the time where we get divorced.
And then the next day we talked about it. We're fine,
we love each other more than ever. Sometimes you just
need to get a bit of a sometimes you need
to get it out, and then you have great makeup
sex and everything's wonderful again. In both mine and Matt's defense,
in terms of how we fight, we don't often say

(43:57):
mean Like it's very rare for us to say mean thing.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
We're not mean to each other.

Speaker 4 (44:01):
So like, even though we're both really angry and I
know he also is contemplating divorce, we would never ever, ever,
ever say those awful things, you know, because we know
we love each other so much and we know it's
not real. You just like you have these visceral reactions
where you're so mad and then you're like, I just
need to calm down because I actually love this person
more than anything, So this is not real right now.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
They have just very much pissed me off.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
I respect that because there's a lot of control in that,
because sometimes it's easiest to shoot from the hip.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Yeah, no, we don't.

Speaker 4 (44:27):
We really really don't, which is good. So anyway, so
how long did it take you to recover? Oh, the
next afternoon because he left really early in the morning,
so he was out of the house at like five thirty,
so we didn't He came and gave me a hug
and a kiss goodbye, and it was like, nice, he
woke me up. Ah got one back there, didn't he.
He gave me a hug and kiss goodbye in the
morning and he went to the airport. But then we

(44:47):
didn't speak all day. So then when I came home
that afternoon, we spoke about it straight away and we
made up straight away.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
Stupid. Well, I think this is like, this is real,
This is what actual relationships are like. Anyway, we had
a not always ruining bow when Sunshine.

Speaker 4 (44:58):
We had it was about the thing that we often
fight about now is about me working too much. So
that was the it's the running commentary of the fight anyway,
setters them at work. So that was a fight anyway,
that was my start. It was shitty, but obviously, like sometimes,
and I do mean this, having a fight to then
make up, I think it's a really healthy step in
the right direction. And like sometimes you get to then
say all the things that you've been holding on too

(45:20):
that you needed to say and get out and then
you kind of feel like you're starting again from a
from a you know, a clean slate, which fights can
be really productive in getting to a place of great
resolution and relationships. So that was probably being like, now
that we're fucking awesome off the back of it feels
like a sweet as well.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
So that's my suck at my.

Speaker 4 (45:39):
Sweet having a fight and then having the makeup. Yeah,
that's my sweet. Is Matt and I are like really
great now because we needed to We needed to have
that fight.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
It would have been brewing for too long. Bide then,
thank you, thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
I'm sure he will listen to this and be like,
why the fuck a you're telling people this shit.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
Well, listen to his podcast and get his take.

Speaker 4 (45:57):
His take is like I also wanted to divorce my wife.
What is your suck?

Speaker 2 (46:02):
My suck is that I was really humbled by our
own people through the week. So I posted something in
the Facebook group, the lifel on Cut Discussion group, and
I kind of regret it now because I think I'm
uncultured swine. So I posted something about really not enjoying
this show that's number one on Netflix at the moment.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
I disagree. I strongly disagree with your take on this
as well. Cash.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
Okay, so it's called Baby Reindeer. If you haven't seen it,
it's I think it's like eight or nine episodes something
like that, and the episodes are pretty long, they're like
over forty five minutes. And I got four episodes into
this and I kind of just had this realization that
I was like, I'm really not enjoying this. I'm really
uncomfortable and feeling all of these feelings inside of me

(46:43):
and they're not good ones, And so why am I
still watching this? Like I'm really I'm not having a
good time. I just want to get out.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
But sometimes you don't have to watch TV for a
good time. Sometimes you watch it to feel even a
negative emotion. At least it makes you feel something.

Speaker 3 (46:57):
So this is where I.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
Think the I actually have learnt from this experience, because
I probably jumped the gun by saying how much I
disliked this TV show. I did know what was based
off of a true story, but I didn't know it
was based off of the main actor's true story. So
a lot of people were like, it was really confronting,
and it was so brave of him to put this
out into the world because it shows some really dark

(47:19):
sides of trauma.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
Also shows some really dark sides of him as well,
like things that he probably wouldn't feel. He feels ashamed
of whether that's like, you know, whether he should or shouldn't,
but I think that that it doesn't show him in
the best light at times either.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Yeah, and I have respect for that, but I think
I've realized that I'm just really adverse to this type
of content. I guess, you know, for me, this might
be a little bit, it might make me seem a
bit like a child, but up until last November, I'm
actually medicated for this now because I have really really
graphic and very real nightmares and they're incredibly intrusive, and

(47:55):
so I steered away from any type of content that's
particularly distressing.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
I don't watch true crime.

Speaker 2 (48:01):
I especially don't watch anything like horror or scary or
like anything that's particularly traumatic for me.

Speaker 3 (48:06):
I'm like, oh, that's probably not best.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
For me, because it might give my brain some ideas
that I don't want it to have. And so I
really feel a bit I really object to this type
of content for myself.

Speaker 3 (48:17):
I understand that other people really like it, but some
of the the.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Comments in this thread were like, essentially, you might just
be a bit too basic and maybe only Robin comments
if you, and for that I think is fair it's fair,
but it's a suck.

Speaker 3 (48:30):
I'm an unconcious one.

Speaker 4 (48:32):
Well, I agree, because I think it is brilliantly done.
Like I don't think that anyone's watching it and they're
enjoying their time watching it, But I think it's really
it's really well documented, it's really well filmed, and it
was going to be my recommendation for the week. So
if you haven't seen Baby Reindeer, this is my recommendation,
go and see it, unless you're someone who has intrusive thoughts,
unless you just don't.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Like dark shit for eight hours across your screen. Anyway,
I'm really looking forward to bridgeton the new season.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
Come okay, this is just stuck. I'm sweet. This is
not your recommendations for the week.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Oh my sweet for the week is that over the weekend,
my boyfriend and I celebrated our one year anniversary.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
So cute.

Speaker 4 (49:09):
I also feel like things went so quickly for you,
Like one year you guys lived together, you finally said
I love you, which took a while, but you got there.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
That wasn't quick. That one took nine months.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
Have you do you now say it on the reg Oh? Yeah,
so now it's a normal thing. One hundred percent. Not
a day goes by.

Speaker 3 (49:22):
Oh that's cute.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
If a day went by, I'd feel like that was strange.
You like, turn your location services on? Where the fuck
are you anyway?

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Guys?

Speaker 3 (49:30):
That is it from us.

Speaker 4 (49:31):
Also, if you haven't subscribed to the YouTube channel yet,
all of these episodes are going up on YouTube now,
so if you want to watch us in the flesh
not just listen to us in your ears. We are
so up to date now, so they're kind of the
YouTube version of the podcast are dropping within like twenty
four hours of the actual episode, so we are all
up to date, and they are amazing. I so love
I think it's a very different dimension watching it on

(49:53):
YouTube verse, listening to it on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Yeah. I also was not the type of person who
ever watched YouTube podcasts before had our channel, And so
I've started watching a couple more now because I want
to get ideas is how we can do it better
and that kind of thing. And I've been watching Mark
Manson's podcast on YouTube and I.

Speaker 3 (50:10):
Actually do really enjoy it.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
I'm like, oh, I get why people are into this.
It feels more personal, it feels like you're just hanging
out with.

Speaker 3 (50:16):
People and you're in a room having a chap.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:18):
Well, anyways, we'll put all the links in the show notes.
You can go and have a watch, have a listen. Also,
if you enjoyed the episode, share.

Speaker 3 (50:23):
It with your friends and you know the drill.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Tell your mum, tell you don't tell your dog, Tell
your friends and share the love because we love love