The Best Of The Pick Up - The Most Unhinged Ways You Got Broken Up With

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

What's on the show:

• Sabrina Carpenter has said she would consider 'phone-free' concerts in the future
• What inappropriate thing did your kid say? (note for Michael: this is 2 breaks)
• The most UNHINGED ways you've all been dumped (note for Michael: this is 2 breaks)
• Laura Henshaw chats about how she found out she was pregnant
• A woman has divided the internet over her 'tight-arse' kids birthday present
• ASK UNCUT: Gabrielle has discovered that her husband is cheating on her, but is still torn on whether she should stay or go
• The key to a long-lasting marriage has been revealed (and it's not passion)

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode was recorded on Cama ragle Land. Hi guys,
and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is the pickup show.
If this is the first episode of Life on Cut
that you're listening to, this is actually our radio show,
our national radio show that airs across the country every
day of the.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Week, and we package up all the best bits here
for you.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
To listen to.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I had a great week, you did?

Speaker 3 (00:27):
It was very fun?

Speaker 4 (00:28):
Yes, you do?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
I mean I got married, But that's not why. I
meant some weeks on radio or funnier than others. Like,
sometimes the world gives you the most amazing content, sometimes
it doesn't. But this was a good week.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
I mean, we had some pretty sentimental and serious stuff. Also,
we had an ask gun cut this week as well.
Her name was Gabrielle. We've included it in this show.
It's probably the most serious live askun cut we've had.
She's found out that her husband is cheating on her
and that was do you know what briot?

Speaker 5 (00:54):
Like?

Speaker 2 (00:54):
For all the askun cuts that we normally do that
don't usually happen in real time. You know, people, if
you listen to the pod. A lot you would ask
on Cut people right in we answer with the details
that we have, But this was a very different one
because Gabrielle called and we kind of had to unpack
it live with her, and you want to give the
type of advice that you would give to your best friend.
But I really hope that she listens to that and

(01:16):
she does.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Something about it. It was a hard one because she's
living it now and it's complicated. She's been with in
for like twenty thirty years, they've.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
Got kids, got kids.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yeah, it's and you know, I was trying to be
probably more diplomatic than I wanted to be in all honesty,
but you have to remember it's a real person with
a real situation, going through real things.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Yeah, and it's also on live radio, so like the
last thing you want to do is tell someone to
leave their husband on live radio and really grow hard
on them when they're clearly in a very emotionally difficult time. Yeah,
but that is all coming up. Also, if any of
you guys would like us to answer your ask gun
Cut live on radio, Like, if you have something, it
can be anything from trivial to something that's to do
with your friendship to something whatever, whatever it is, you

(01:57):
actually can remain anonymous.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Still, it'll be your voice.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Please write into either us at Life on cart just
say that you're happy to do radio, or you can
write to the pickup directly who has their own Instagram
as well, and we can get you on the radio
show and we can answer your questions live. But this week,
on this week's show, I told a story about Marley,
and I feel like any parent will relate to this.
Marley said something that was innocent but totally inappropriate in context.

(02:25):
And it's those moments where your kid says an inside
thought that they just shouldn't say, and you want the
whole world to swallow.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
You up whole.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
I feel like it's to ride a passage though, Like
I don't know anyone who has a kid who hasn't
done that, Like kid hasn't embarrassed them or that's how
they learn. You know, they don't know what's right or wrong,
and just sometimes it's more awkward than others.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
It's also like sometimes kids are just so honest, Like
there was this one person who wrote in on oh
did a little call out box and this one person
wrote in and so like they'll go on a camping trip.
The mum had mentioned she didn't want the mother in
law to come on this camping trip. The mother in
law came over this one day and her daughter was like,
I want you to come on the camping trip. She
doesn't want you to come, and that was why she
made up at this full elaborate lie about why she

(03:05):
couldn't come. The kidsens straight out at it us, Yeah
you sucked, Nana, like they just yeah, that's so cook.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Kids are the worst.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
So I actually did a call out this week about
a story as well, and the responses I got were
I shouldn't say brilliant and funny, but they were brilliant
and funny. We can only laugh about them because it's
in hindsight. But it was like, what's the most unhinged
way you've been broken up with or you found out
your partner had moved on? And I say that because
we didn't want normal breakups. It's off the back of

(03:32):
Eric Dane, who's like a famous actor. He was mixed seemy.
He was in euphoria, but he his girlfriend found out
that they were no longer together in a really unusual way.
So it got us. We unpack it but it got
us thinking, how did you guys get broken up with
One person reading and said they got home like they
lived on a property and there was a padlock that
had been put on the gate at the start of

(03:53):
the property that said do not enter marriage over.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
You can't do that when it's like my last.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
To be clear, I'm laughing from shock.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
It's no laughing at you.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
That's not it's not funny.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
But I can't believe people do this.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
I would say that if you were like in a
situation where like you find out you've been cheated or
something like that, like getting the locks changed, probably isn't
as uncommon as what we might think it is, Like
that's when you get those big retaliations. Anyway, guys, we
unpack it all. I haven't listen to the show.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Hey, Laura, question, if you were to go and see
like one of your favorite artists, but they said you
weren't allowed to bring your phone, how would you feel?
Would it bother you? Would it put you off going?
How are they going to police it?

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Is my question?

Speaker 1 (04:35):
Okay, well I have that answer. So this is actually
happening at the moment. Sabrina Carpenter has come out. She
went to a concert herself in Las Vegas to see
Silk Sonics, and part of that gig was the fact
that you weren't allowed to take phones, so you had
to put your phone away. It was like a no
phone gig. She said, she's never had a better experience
at a concert. She was loving it. Everyone was dancing, engaging.

(04:56):
That was like they were back in the seventies. And
she's saying, well, maybe maybe I'm gonna consider no phones
at one of my future concerts.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
I mean, I understand the debate for it. I get it,
like it must be annoying being on stage and everyone's
actually just watching you and not really watching you.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
They're watching you through a phone.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
But I also think that there's there's positives to it too.
I mean, she's not any one of that thinks this,
Like multiple people have come out in the past. John Mayer,
Billie Eilish have a listened to Billy's comment.

Speaker 6 (05:23):
All I ask is that we all try to live
in the moment, and a lot of the time I'll say,
put your phones away. But if you want a film,
that's okay, just put it next to your face. You
know what I'm saying, Look at me in my eyes,
be here because this is the only moment we get
to be in this moment, and like we're never going
to be right here this second, on this day and

(05:46):
this age ever again, this is the only only moment
we ever get ever ever.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
I do like it.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
Just before Laura you said, well, I could be doing
a pooh, and Lauria's like, I could be all the
toilet doing a poo when it will be the last
moment I get to do that.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
I love Billie Eilish, but that's one of those you
have to be their moments to really feel the magnitude
of it. Because when someone's like, ye's the only moment
we're going to be here, like that can be said
about every second of your life. You could you could
apply that logic to sitting on the toilet doing a pooge,
like we can't. Okay, I have multiple feelings about this,
but I.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Give me one feeling.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
We don't have time for multiple uncertainty.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
I think it's too hard to police. And my biggest
issue with it is like it's okay to say, oh, look,
you know, no phones or put your phones down, so
then people like socially police each other. So if someone
has their phone out, it's been like put your phone away.
But I don't think that you could like stop people
from bringing a phone into a venue for a massive concert.
Imagine how long those lines would be.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
They're already too.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Long, Laura, there is something called a secure pouch. What's
it called Grace. It's a Yonder p that's a Yonder pouch,
and this is like a female feminine product, Yes, pouch.
So they've got these pouches where I'm imagining it's a
secure patch. They can only be like it's locked. It
can only be opened in certain parts of the venue.
So maybe it's like the bar, or it's the entrance

(07:07):
or toilet or whatever it is. But I'm imagining people
line up and when you're scanning your tickets, you get
a Yonder pouch. They watch you lock your phone in it,
and then everyone knows you can't open it until you
go back to this area. So you've got your phone
on you, but it's not allowed to be used. I
don't know. I'm sort of like, I sort of think
it's cool. I understand why artists would say, hey, guys,

(07:29):
surprisingly we don't want to stare at your phone. Like
eighty thousand phones just looking at us. We'd love to
be engaging with you and seeing your reaction. Are you
enjoying it? Like, are you vibing it being the moment?
But I also understand where we live in a day
and age where that's also helping promote that artist totally.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
And I think like you've got to be in a
pretty privileged position to say, oh, I don't need the
promotion of people and their instagrams.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Like Sabrina Carpenter can say that, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Like most artists need their audience sharing it and like
you know, promoting it across socials and all that sks
of stuff to be able to sell out venues or
to get more eyes on the products that they're create.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
I mean, I remember this is not a new debate.
I remember it was very very obsessed with John Mayer
back in about twenty thirteen, and he came out saying
that constitutor is different now. He's like, I don't feel
as though people are enjoying them when they're at my concerts.
And then I go on social media to see how
many people have shared it and what they've said about
it to actually get a gauge because people are watching
me perform through a phone.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Well, he actually said, funnily enough, I've got his quote here.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Thanks.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
People aren't going crazy, And I think to myself, I'm
not playing a very good show, am I? And then
I look out into the audience and they are going crazy,
but not for me. They're applauding into the phone. So
that sends back to like, it must feel really hard.
Imagine how insecure they are. It's like the John Mayer
who was huge, and he's still on stage being like,
oh god, these guys aren't enjoying this, Like no one's laughing, clapping, cheering, celebrating.

(08:47):
They're just looking into their screen.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, but the question is who's having a bad time?
Like is the audience still having a good time or
is it.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Just because of the person on That's what he doesn't know.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Okay, but there is nothing worse than if you're in
the standing area and some idiot and if you has
their phone out and you can't see over it and
you're watching the person on stage through their phone, because
that's all you can see.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
That's why I see it.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
It is better Yep, YONDI pouch here we come now.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
I want to know for all the parents out there
give us a call. We are asking what is the
inappropriate thing that your kids said? They said it out loud,
other people heard it, and you just wish they hadn't
because you know, in how that old adage like kids
will say the dundest things. Sometimes it's cute and sometimes
you're just like, wow, I've really fail as a parent.

Speaker 7 (09:29):
I think it's a.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Rite, a passage. I think that you can't escape it
as a parent. Like at some stage, every child has
going to embarrass you with something they say.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, my daughter, Marley May, she just turned six, she
had a birthday last week, and I you know, six
is kind of at that age where you start to
come out of it. They've got a little bit more
social awareness. They know right from wrong, a little bit more.
I would expect these things from my four year old,
but not from my six year old.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
So no, I'm sorry. Six year olds don't get a
pass They know better.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Do they?

Speaker 2 (09:55):
She's a kindie. The thing is is she does know better.
And some some times they don't say things meaning for
it to be super offensive, but they just say a
matter of fact thing. It's a statement they've observed something
they don't understand that maybe that might hurt someone's feeling, and.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
They just say it.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Also, I say, they know better. I don't even know
what she said yet, so let me judge. I'll judge
her after the fact.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
All right, well, you guys can all judge her now.
So our really really good family friend. She also works
for us at Life on Cut. She's been in my life.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
Her name is Nest.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
She's been in my life like the last to twelve years,
and she is a huge dog lover.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
And she's actually the reason why I.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Ended up adopting my dog Buster, because she was fostering
him at the time. Now, her and her wife, they
were home a beautiful dog named Juni, and Juni has
been a huge part of their family. And you know,
they've been through big transitions, They've had little kids themselves,
and you know, Junie's been there whilst their family has grown.
And recently she had an accident and they had to

(10:51):
make the really hard decision of putting their dog down.
And anyone who's been through that when their dog, when
your dog is a family member, it is devastating, absolutely devastating.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Also because their dog was so young and it was unexpected.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, absolutely, and now look the other weekend, it was
like a situation where they were having friends over. Anyone
who was really close to Juni and our girls are.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
It was the wake.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yeah, well no, it wasn't awake because it.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Was a pre It was before that actually had Junie
put down so everyone could say they're goodbyes, and Junia
had this beautiful day and I sort of said, look,
I don't know if my kids are at an age
where this will go down.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
Well, they're really turbo.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
I was like, everyone's quine, kind of solemn and having
nice time, and she probably needs.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
A bit of calm. I was like, I don't think my.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Kids are right for this, and they were like, no, no, no,
bring them along, and I was like, no, it's really
I just don't think it's right anyway, So I didn't
go on the day, and we went over for dinner
a couple of days later, and we were there.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
Just you know, have a carug and.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Show our support, and Matt and I went over, brought
the kids and we picked up dinner and we all
had dinner together and it was a really lovely night.
And of course on the drive over there, I had
to explain to the girls what had happened and why
Junie wasn't there anymore.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
And you could see mar Ali and Lola.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Were processing and they've experienced death in our family, like
their grandparents have passed away, and so they no one
understand that that means that that personal thing is not
here anymore.

Speaker 3 (12:10):
And so we had a lovely night. I had a
lovely dinner.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
But anyway, the next day sent a nice message to
my friend and I was like, oh, you know, it
was really nice to see you. I hope that you
hope that you guys are feeling okay and she said, yeah, yeah,
we were feeling great. That was until Marley pointed out
one of the dog toys and said, why have you
got that? Your dog's dead. You don't need that anymore,
point blank, sent her in a text message to me
and I was like, sorry, she did not, and she

(12:35):
was like, hey, yeah she did. Actually, in fact, she
pointed out several things that the dog had that were
around the house and told us that.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
It's not needed to be fair, it's not why have
you got a dog bed?

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Your dog's dead.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
But she didn't say it in front of me, or
I would have corrected her. She said it behind my baby,
you don't correct her because it's right.

Speaker 3 (12:51):
What she said is right.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Maybe she seems to understand that it was like more
gentle way, it's wrong.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
That's the problem.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
It is true, like, yes, it's factual, but wrongly.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
So then I did feel like at six, it's pretty old. No,
six is pretty mature.

Speaker 3 (13:06):
Do you know what she was hangering for?

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Do you know what it was? And I figured it out.
She wanted to she wanted to take the dog toy home.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
She liked it, and she was like, you don't need that.
Guess who does.

Speaker 1 (13:18):
I'll take it off I'll take it off your heads. Well, yeah,
so not long ago, it's like two weeks ago. At
my wedding. Yeah, Marley did something.

Speaker 8 (13:27):
Yes, my wife and I got to hang out with
your lovely children, who are delightful.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Dear you dare they're not even here to defend themselves.

Speaker 8 (13:34):
And we were sitting there and Marley looks at my
wife Diana and goes.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
She your grandma, And I was like.

Speaker 8 (13:43):
No, this is my wife. We're married, and she was like, hmm, okay,
is that it?

Speaker 3 (13:48):
That was it?

Speaker 8 (13:48):
Like we have six years between us.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
It's not exactly, well, there's an age gap. Right there.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Six years is a long time.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
She's only been alive for six years.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
The poor kid, it was that woman is as old.
She's like a whole six years old.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
It could be your mom, could be grandma grandma?

Speaker 1 (14:05):
Is that your grandmother's story?

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Story?

Speaker 8 (14:07):
And also how did Diana react to this? She told
Molly that I was her daughter, so she really leant
into it.

Speaker 9 (14:13):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
You really just cause like some more confusion to try
and fix that problem.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
We weren't even going to bring it up. But it
was just too when you it was too much.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
Bless her. Oh my god. I hope my kids are
not listening to this anyway. I hope they're at school.
We got bad now, three.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
O'clock, they're finished. They got picked up half.

Speaker 3 (14:28):
An hour ago. What my kids get to school these days?
Three o'clock, babe, it's got no idea.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Well, I'm sorry that we school, honey. We work on
the pick up. That's when people are picking their children
up from school.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
That's the whole point.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
I thought thirty All right, we got Beth on the line, Hi, Bed,
what was the interappropriate thing your kids said?

Speaker 10 (14:45):
So my daughter would have been maybe three and a half.
I'm sitting on the toilet in all my glory. She
wanders in, looks me dead in the eyes and says, mummy,
why does your mom have a beard? And then I
had to proceed to explain to her, honey, it's not
a beard. Tell her all about it. And then I'm

(15:07):
made sure to tell her wait till your older darling,
your bum's gonna have a bed too, well.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
You like, because I'm breaking down the stereotypes, and I'm like,
you know.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
Embracing women have air too. God, damn it, we're giving
her a past. She's three. I'm allowing that one.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Oh dear, all right, thanks that, Beth Kara. What did
your kids say that you wish they hadn't?

Speaker 11 (15:25):
So when I take my daughter into the public toilets
after she's been and it's my turn, she'll say, very loudly,
are you.

Speaker 5 (15:32):
Doing a pooh mum?

Speaker 11 (15:33):
Oh yeah yeah, I'm like, oh my god, it's so embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
It's worse when they start to describe the smell of
it as well.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
Because you've kept them like logic, they'll do it in mine.

Speaker 7 (15:44):
Other thing is is like I'm doing a weei.

Speaker 11 (15:46):
But she still has to ask you, so loudly in
front of everybody.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
How do you respond?

Speaker 2 (15:51):
How do you because you've got to have then have
a conversation, and you know everyone in the store next
door is having a giggle about it.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
You say, we don't talk.

Speaker 5 (15:58):
Usually, I go, it's doing away.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Be you quiet, And then you hear the person next
door giggling.

Speaker 11 (16:04):
I know, I know she's entertaining, that's for sure.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Thanks car Amy. What did your kids say that you
wish they hadn't?

Speaker 12 (16:12):
Oh?

Speaker 13 (16:12):
Yeah, So my daughter, coming from a red eyed flight
into Australia from Malaysia, decided to tell her customs officer
that her dad had a big willie. Why don't know?
We don't know. And it was more alarming for me
because I was like, that's something I've never said, Like,
where does she get that?

Speaker 11 (16:29):
How does she know what that is?

Speaker 3 (16:30):
The customs?

Speaker 1 (16:31):
Are you importing anything? Well, my dad's got a big willy.

Speaker 13 (16:34):
My husband was stoked. You could imagine the customers officers
that have very limited personality were started cracking up laughing.
So she's now eleven and never lives.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
It down for she at the time, did you say.

Speaker 13 (16:49):
She was two and a half.

Speaker 3 (16:50):
Oh my god, that is absolutely gold.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
But also you do question why does a two year
old have any clue?

Speaker 13 (16:56):
And I could just I was like, this is what
did she typicallyk I run around in our home telling
my husband he's got to be willing all the time.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
You like, hey, if you guys want to use that
on that TV show board of security that put me
on your ads.

Speaker 13 (17:12):
That's okay. He thought it's the best thing ever.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
So so that that's cold. But also like, this is
not something that is unfamiliar to any parent. I feel
like that this is just a rite of passage when
it comes to parenting. You've just got to figure out
how to navigate these situations the best you can.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
Now, Laura, I want you to dig deep into your past.
Have you ever been broken up with in like a
really messed up, unhinged way, or did you break up.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
With someone who No, because I dated a lot of
men who cheated on me and stuff, and I just
state so like they probably.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
Tried to break up.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
They're like it's over. You're like, that's not.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Christ I prove it. I'm still here.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Why am I in your bed there? Why? I mean
you'll come.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
I don't think I've been broken up within.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
I haven't broken up with it in an unhinged way.
I've just stayed in unhinged relationships for a really long time.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
All right, minor technicality, a little bit different. So Eric Dane,
and before you ask you, that is because I know
you won't know, Laura, But that's mc steamy from Gray's
Anatomy explained it to me, the really hot doctor. And
for like our younger listeners that have no idea what
Grey's Anatomy or mxed Steamy is, he's the dad out
of Euphoria. So everyone knows Euphoria.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, I do actually know who this guy is, so like,
I appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
Okay, thank you.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
So he there's this story going around at the at
the moment, and I want to say allegedly. So Eric
Dane has been dating allegedly his girlfriend Priya Jane. So
Dane and Jane, that's how we're gonna call them. They
were properly together, right, She was a huge part of
his family. They spent the weekend together and then Eric
Dane had to go to one of his own premiers,

(18:51):
so she didn't go. He's gone to the premiere she's
watching where she sees him photographed on the red carpet
with a new woman, Janelle Shirtcliffe. So she's just like
at home, sees her partner in photos and on the
red carpet debuting a new relationship. Okay, I'm sorry, but
if your partner is going to the premiere of their

(19:12):
own show and you weren't invited, surely that's a red
flag that they're not with you anymore. I mean I
have questions. I do have questions because maybe he said no,
Maybe he said, like, you know, partner's not invited, like
it's a Christmas party, like they couldn't pay for pote.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
I think this screams of he's tried to break up
with her and she didn't take the clue, because like
maybe he didn't do it as direct enough.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
But if it's weird.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
That she's watching on his premiere and she had no
clue and he just ropped up.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
I mean they have matching tattoos, which means it's pretty serious.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
But they imagine if she just got the tattoo to
match his, he already had it, and she's like, he's like,
this is had together.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
We are Look.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
I think if this is true, I mean, this man
is fifty two years old.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
To me, that just screams spineless, like if you can't
break up.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
With someone, and the way that you do it is
by just like appearing with your new girlfriend.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
Hope they get the hint.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
That seems like a really really spineless way to manage
you break up totally.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
She did say that he never actually broke up with her,
but give us a call. It got me thinking, there
must be some unhinged ways you've been broken up with.
I remember I was seeing this guy, same kind of thing.
I think, like where you were basically together without it
officially being together. I don't know that was my situation.
We were properly together, we weren't seeing other people. It's
like we've met each others.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
Found how long had you been dating for on and
off for three years? Okay it's a long time.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, But it was never like one hundred percent exclusive,
do you know what I mean. It's like the assumption
was there we did everything together, but it wasn't anyway.
It was at his thirtieth birthday and I had helped
him with like planning of stuff. I was there taking
photos of the night, his family there as a family
friend event, and I'll never forget it. I was literally
had the camera, his family's camera, and I was taking

(20:50):
photos of everyone across the dance floor. And you thought
you were his girlfriend at the time. Yeah, so at
his birthday yep. And then across the dance floor, I
looked over and he looked at me directly in the eye,
locked eyes, and then made out with a girl in
front of me. She did not she did, swear on

(21:10):
my life.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
I'm speechless. I am literally speechless. How old was this man?

Speaker 1 (21:15):
He was his thirtieth If you looked sorry, I just
had plagued because I honestly.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
I can't believe it.

Speaker 4 (21:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
And then I was like never, it was a big thing.
I said, never call me again, don't contact me, and
I unfollowed him on Instagram. It was a whole thing.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
I moved over.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, I moved overseas, brought a one way ticket, and
then it went on for years. He followed me around.
He was like, I made a mistake. I love you.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
Oh that's New York guy.

Speaker 4 (21:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
Oh nah, you didn't tell me that part of that story.

Speaker 3 (21:41):
That is absolutely shocked.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
I was like, guess this means we're not together. He
was like mackiing on with someone else at his birthday.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
I think like definitely, people have like found out from
their friends. Like I have a girlfriend who found out
that her partner was broke had broken up with her
because he'd already told his mate that he was breaking
up with her or had broken up, but it just
hadn't filtered to her yet. So he his mate was like, oh,
I'm so sorry about you, and Shamyer and it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
His name's not Damien.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
He was like, I'm so sorry about you and Damien like,
you know, I hope you're okay, and she was like,
what are you talking about. That's how she found out
through the friend anyway, shocking, but we do have I
mean producer Grace here. She has a very own tail
as to how she got hectically dumbed.

Speaker 8 (22:19):
Speaking of fishy, I was dating this guy when I
was a teenager, like eighteen nineteen, so adult, so serious. Yeah,
it was very serious. We're dating for like four months.
I'd met his parents. I met mine.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Nineteen and four months deep and meeting the parents.

Speaker 8 (22:37):
That is serious, thank you. It is serious. Anyway, we
decided to go on a date to the aquarium.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
That's not so serious.

Speaker 8 (22:44):
He just didn't turn up and I never heard from
him again.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Wait, you've never spoken to the guys.

Speaker 8 (22:49):
And he messaged me drunk once like four years later
for what, just being like, hey heard you got into.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Radio, say sorry about the aquarium. I know he never
mentioned that. But one thing to go someone? Right, you
haven't turned up for a date, but you can't just
never see them again.

Speaker 3 (23:05):
Literally.

Speaker 8 (23:05):
I was replying being like, hey, are you alive? Did
I do something?

Speaker 1 (23:08):
What's going on?

Speaker 2 (23:09):
And he just never But if you were dating for
four months and you'd met his family, why didn't you
go to his house?

Speaker 3 (23:14):
Or you just like oka scaredy cat? So you just
you just a message his dad.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
You're just too good. You just get better and better. Hey,
we've got Courtney on the lines.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
So Courtney, will.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
We'll circle back to your grace. There's a lot to
unpacking your story, Courtney. What was the unhinged way you
got dumped?

Speaker 13 (23:34):
I received a Facebook invite to his going away party
announcing that he was moving into state.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Oh my goodness, and you obviously weren't moving with him.

Speaker 3 (23:43):
Did you go to the party?

Speaker 13 (23:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (23:48):
Why was my revenge?

Speaker 9 (23:49):
Though?

Speaker 1 (23:51):
You stole showed him Courtney, he couldn't see in the dark.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
This is the gift that keeps on giving. I mean,
like there's other ways you could enact revenge. I feel
like that is the that is the most g rated
version of it. But I'm you sure showed him.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Thanks Courtney, Emily.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
What was the unhinged way you got dumped?

Speaker 7 (24:09):
My sister sent it to me on Instagram, but he'd
already blocked me, and so she sent me the screenshot
of him getting engaged. What yep?

Speaker 3 (24:20):
And you what how long are you together for?

Speaker 7 (24:24):
We were together on and off for five years? Yeah,
so quite on and off, so you know, just like
two and a half years together. Then I had six
months off and then came back together and yees, So
I couldn't see the engagement and helpment he pullopped me.
So my sister screenshot it and sent it to me.

Speaker 1 (24:41):
Wait, so you okay, you were still dating?

Speaker 3 (24:43):
What did you do? Did you contact the other girl?

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Because clearly he was living a separate life at the
same time.

Speaker 7 (24:48):
I have sent her a message, so I've got to
give credit where credits due. He planned it all out
very well, so like we were texting and stuff, and
then yeah, the day of the announcement, he'd blotched my
phone number blocks me on everything, and yeah, I think
just hoping to never run into me again.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
We never have the other.

Speaker 7 (25:07):
I sent her a message and she never responded. I've
seen that she's saying it and I know they're married.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Now, Wow, that is Oh god, I feel sorry for her.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
That's a real shame that was to end on.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Because she could have You don't know, she could have known,
or she does know now Emily told her and she no.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
I still feel like that's one of those situations. If
that guy's that good at lying, he's probably.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
Led his way out of that situation as well.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
You know you're gonna you're gonna believe you over some
random chicky messages you're on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
That's not true. I was that exact person. I was
marrying someone who's marrying someone else. Simultaneously, I reached out
to her. We both dumped his ass. Yeah, we don't
have trying to get into it. So like that bar
Rah Buttle, Oh well, I'm praying for some some good
love to come your way. Emily.

Speaker 7 (25:57):
Oh, thank you. I mean, I mean, I love myself.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
It's really like that's all that matters. I'm so excited
for our guests on the show today Laura Henshaw. She's
one half of the Absolute Empire that is Kick, which
she hosts alongside and has started alongside Steph Clear Smith.
So we're talking like podcasting, fitness apps, they've got food,
they've got so much in it. They're absolute juggernauts in

(26:21):
the space. But we're not talking to Laura Henshaw about
that today. We're talking to Laura Henshaw today because she
has just announced she is in her second trimester of pregnancy.
Now that might seem like everyone's like, Okay, cool, she's
having a baby. But I think what's interesting about this
is last year Laura released a mini series like a

(26:42):
podcast series, titled Do I Want Kids? Because she's always
been on the cusp of trying to decide what is
right for her and she wanted to put out the
pressures that people experience when they are trying to make
this big, life changing decision. And I related heavily to
that because I've always been in the same space. Obviously,
Laura has made the decision to have kids. It's on
the show today. Welcome Laura, and congratulations.

Speaker 4 (27:03):
Hello, Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Laura. Now that here are coming out of the trenches
of the first trimester.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
How are you feeling.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
Much much better now?

Speaker 5 (27:12):
The first trimester, I think as well, because you don't
tell that many people, and also like it's obviously so early,
the embryo is tiny. I felt so sick, and I
also felt quite depressed, yes, which was it was a lot,
a lot to take in, and I'd spoke to some
friends about it and they kind of said, oh, I
didn't feel that, and I was like, oh, my goodness,

(27:33):
is something wrong with me? But anyway, now I'm out
of the first trimester, I'm feeling alive again.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
I mean, you never know as well, because like, obviously
your hormones are going crazy, But do you do you
wonder whether or had you guys made the decision. Were
you like, yes, we're trying for kids, or were you
still at a point where you were kind of fluctuating
between this yes and no feeling inside you?

Speaker 5 (27:54):
So we had made the decision we wanted to have kids,
but we were not trying.

Speaker 3 (27:59):
It's interesting there's seen.

Speaker 5 (28:00):
A lot of conversation online about this, but you know,
if I was having sex, therefore I was trying to
have a child. Like people can, you know, say whatever
they want to say and make judgment on that, but
we weren't trying at the time, Like I was training
for the London Marathon. I was literally like four weeks.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
Out from that.

Speaker 5 (28:18):
We had thought I had a laproscopy books in on
the fifteenth of May, thinking that we had to like
in demetriosis looking at that and kind of exploring a
few other things. So we definitely were not Yes, we
were not trying at the time, so it was a
very big surprise, but we had decided we did want.

Speaker 4 (28:35):
To have kids.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
What has the conversation been like off the back of
doing a podcast series and been so openly vocal about
the fact that you are unsure and then coming out
saying you're pregnant because I can imagine. I mean, I've
seen a little bit of discourse around it, which is
a shame. But what do you want to say to
those people, because I feel like people are making it
sound like once you've made a decision, you're not allowed
to change your mind.

Speaker 5 (28:56):
Yes, that's exactly exactly right, And I feel like both
of you would relate to this so much. And it's
not just with having kids on it having kids that
there's so many other decisions. But it's been really interesting,
And I didn't expect a lot of people to listen
to the whole podcast series, but a lot of people,
I think, saw a few snippets and thought, oh, you
don't want to have kids. So a lot of the
commentary has been, as you said, kind of saying, oh, like,

(29:19):
didn't you not want to have kids five minutes ago?
But I think while I didn't, we didn't change our mind,
like we actually just genuinely didn't know when we made
the decision that we did want to. I think my
biggest response to that is just that if we had
changed our mind about a decision that is life altering
for us and affects no one outside of myself and
my husband, it is completely okay for us totally change

(29:42):
our minds.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, but you know, I mean, the biggest thing I've
learned throughout my motherhood experience is that the people who
are going to judge are going to judge anyway. The
people who are going to have opinions on it are
going to have opinions. And I think the reality is
unless you kind of go into motherhood as this sacrificial
land where your kids are every single thing that you've
ever wanted and nothing else matters. There's always going to

(30:04):
be some criticism, whether that's because you're a working mum
or because you're still running businesses or you know, it's
the juggle, and the pressure on mums to do it
perfectly is so much greater than the pressure on dark But.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
It's interesting that people have a go at you for
taking your time to do your due diligence and work
out what you really want. Because if there's anything that
you need to work out, if it's a yes or
a no, it's having a life altering decision like having
a child.

Speaker 5 (30:26):
Oh one hundred percent, I think the other thing is
And it was really interesting and exploring the mini series
last year, a lot of women said this to me,
and I think it was really.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
Awesome that they were honest.

Speaker 5 (30:35):
They said that they at the start really didn't like
that I was doing this podcast series because they didn't
feel like they could make the choice for themselves. They felt,
we know, there's so much like we live in a
pernatal society. There is so much pressure on women like
as our well, I don't believe it's our purpose in society,
but it is definitely a part of the kind of
patriarchal belief system that we as women should bear children,

(31:00):
and so a lot of women haven't felt like they
could actually think about it and make that decision for themselves.
And so I think as well, sometimes when we see
someone like actually thinking about it, that can be a
way that we reaction.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
I totally understand that.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
Well, I also think, I mean, for whatever reason, and
it's obviously so deeply wrong, but there's a selfishness that's
linked to it. We assume that if you don't want
to have kids, then there must be something about the
life that you want to live that's inherently selfish. And
it's just those two could not be further from the truth.
But Laura, I saw something that you posted the other day,
or it might have even been yesterday, and it was
around when you, I mean, every influencer posts like the

(31:36):
happy being on that you know, clear blue stick and
the two double lines and crying, and it's all kind
of like the same moment of happiness and joy, and
I resonated so much to what you posted. You shared
the moment that you've discovered you were pregnant and your husband,
Dalton was in the shower, and it was just a
very real moment that wasn't wrapped up in the absolute joy.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
It was wrapped up in more.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
I guess, shock and surprise and processing.

Speaker 3 (32:02):
What was that like for you guys?

Speaker 5 (32:04):
Oh yeah, and I mean thank you for saying that.
I mean, the funniest thing. I didn't even think about it,
but everyone was like, why did your husband not get
out of the shower?

Speaker 9 (32:12):
I was.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
Also processing, yes.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
But that's right, and I think that's the thing.

Speaker 5 (32:19):
I was like, we didn't have I can't actually remember
if we even hugged that day, like I'm sure we
did at some point, but it was in this beautiful
emotional embrace. And it's really interesting that thinking about that
moment of finding out if like that we were pregnant
was actually a part of the reason that I thought
that maybe I was undeserving of having children or I
shouldn't because I didn't think I was going to be emotional.

(32:41):
And I'm really glad that I realized that that's no
reason to decide to or not have kids. But the
thing is, like, for me, when I was shocked, I
was in absolute shock. As I said, we weren't trying.
Even if we were trying, I think it is always
going to be a shock, right, and you're not necessarily
going to respond.

Speaker 4 (32:57):
In the way that you see online.

Speaker 5 (32:59):
And it's been it's been really interesting, very much the
same as your story. So many people broke to me
and said, oh my goodness. I've always felt like something
was wrong with me because I didn't cry when I
found out. But I'm so happy and I loved my child,
but I didn't.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
I didn't feel emotional.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
You know, Laura.

Speaker 2 (33:14):
I mean, there's one reaction, which is shock. When I
found out I was pregnant, I sat on the floor
and cried. Not out of happiness. I sat It was
not planned. I'd not been with my partner for very
long at the time. I was really worried about how
he was going to respond to it, because we know,
we knew we wanted to have kids, but it was
still early doors and like, yeah, I sat on that
bathroom floor by myself and bawled my eyes out because

(33:36):
my reaction to it wasn't elated joy of motherhood.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
It was, oh my god, what have I done well?

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Laura's I loved your response, Laura. That was like so
practical and pragmatic. The first thing he said was like,
can I still do the London Marathon priorities and you
didn't do it. And I remember you saying, what did
you say? You said, something's happening.

Speaker 5 (33:54):
With my I said I was tired, which is true.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
You would have struggled in first trimester, that's for sure.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
But I think it's oh, of course.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
I like both you Lauras are talking about the fact
that it's it's not the way that everyone necessarily thinks
it is, and maybe that your first impression isn't pure
joy in happiness, but that doesn't take away from the
fact that it's still something you love and want totally.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
And I think, like I mean, just in I don't
want to leave it with that. I start on the
floor devastated and not round that one out. Becoming a
mum has been the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Like I could not love motherhood and being a mum
to my beautiful girls more.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
And you know, I think that.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
Everyone has different reactions when they find out, and everyone
processes pregnancy very differently, and that does has no indication
on what type of mum you're going.

Speaker 5 (34:39):
To be, Amen Queen, one hundred percent, it's so so true.
I think it's amazing that you shared that because I've
had some also messages in people saying I cried of
like sad fear because I was like, what's going to happen?

Speaker 4 (34:52):
Of fear?

Speaker 5 (34:52):
And I felt like I could never tell anyone that
because I felt like it meant I didn't love my child,
when obviously that is not the case at all.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
What do you want to say to anyone listening that
is maybe a bit undecided about whether they want to
go down the journey of having kids, but they also
feel the time crunch from the biological clock and the
pressure asking for a friend as a thirty eight year.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
Old old, yeah, it's a killer.

Speaker 5 (35:16):
I think the first thing I would say is that
the fact that you are thinking about it, and you
mentioned this before, it is a life altering decision is
so important that we put time into thinking about it.
So the fact you were thinking about it is so
so so amazing. Go on the journey, and also just
take that pressure off yourself. I think when you feel
the clock, it's like, oh my goodness, I have to

(35:36):
make the decision. I have to make the decision. But
making the decision first for yourself that is the most
important thing, and then you can look at.

Speaker 13 (35:44):
Okay, what does this mean when we.

Speaker 5 (35:46):
If you do decide you want to have kids, when
we have to start trying, do we have to freeze
our eggs, etcetera?

Speaker 4 (35:52):
It is.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
We could not be more thrilled for you. Congratulations, hooked.
We can't wait to watch the follow and follows the
pregnancy journey with you. No, we're just so exciteded for you.
If you want a live stream the birth or watch
that as.

Speaker 4 (36:04):
Well, thank you so much. Guys.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
I have Marley May's birthday party this weekend. With kids'
birthday parties big bitch massive, especially for kids school because
you know you've got to invite all the school friends.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
I actually haven't been invited.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
That we're not a school friend. There's a bit more
politics involved.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Well what am I? I'm an auntie? You are?

Speaker 3 (36:24):
But no that auntie' isn't coming.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
It's like they get real specific when they get to
school and they pick exactly who's coming.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
So now she didn't invite me? No, sorry, she play
on as you were. Marley's old enough.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
To choose her friends now and you did make the cup,
so sorry, brit you can come over.

Speaker 1 (36:38):
Why don't I take that so person.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
You can have a juice with me instead.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
But look, there is an Aussie mama who has absolutely
divided followers online and also has received a lot of
criticism for the very unconventional gift that she brings to kids'
birthday parties have listened to this.

Speaker 12 (36:54):
So you know, when you're at a kid's birthday party
and everyone wants to help, but nobody knows how to
help because they don't know any where any of the
cleaning stuff is.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
So I bring my bag of rags. I bring cleaning rags.

Speaker 12 (37:08):
I like to bring dish washing detergent because you can
bet your boots that the parents of may have run
out of dish washing liquid. And the other thing I
bring is a lot a lot of tea towels. So
that's my presence for a kid's birthday party, A bag
of rags. Does anyone else do like that?

Speaker 1 (37:25):
No, but she doesn't get invited in many places.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
No one else does that.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Imagine that day, here's a bag of rag.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Okay, I saw this.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
I have a sneaking suspicion.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
She does not want to be invited to kids birthday party?

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Is that this is so funny.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
She's put this in place so that she never gets
invited to another six year old party again. She's like,
I know what will deter these little kids from inviting me?
A bag of rags, some dishwashing detergent, and some extra tee.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
To look, let's dig a little deeper here, let's give
her the benefit of doubt. She does say that she
doesn't like to bring gifts for kids that'll just end
up in landfill.

Speaker 8 (38:00):
Is fair, like a lot of people can get better gifts,
like some money in their trust fund.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
Jane, don't give them something that will end up in landfills.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
I don't know. Maybe there's something in it. Maybe maybe
the family has run out a detergent. If I run
out a detergent and I was like, oh my god,
where's the detergent? And then Jane was like, I brought some.
I'd be very grateful. I think you need to give
something to the kid, lollibag, maybe like not a bag
of rag.

Speaker 9 (38:21):
Hear me.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I have complex feelings on this one, because firstly, it
is so incredibly helpful, like we're having Molly's birthday at
our house, and it is so helpful when some parents
or you know, because usually now it's dropping go parties,
right like so the parents just come, they dump their kids,
and then their kid free for two hours.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
I'm stuck with them all and then I got to
clean up after them. So it's really nice when one
or two parents like stick around.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Brings help with the dishes, help clean up.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
But I also think it would be very.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Presumptuous to think that I don't have enough cleaning products
in my own house to deal with the party that
I chose to put.

Speaker 3 (38:55):
On in my home.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
To me fair, I've never been to your house where
there's been a toilet roll, Like it's always I'm.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
Wiping dishes with toilet paper.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Well, who knows. You do let a lot of things
run out and not replace them, so you're like, what
are you wiping your butt with them?

Speaker 3 (39:08):
Tea towels? Obviously we have.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
So many bath No, but I don't know. I mean
part of.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Me is like I understand the sentiment, but I do
think it's a little bit too grown up to be
showing up to a kid's birthday party and being like,
you know what, nothing for the kids, just a bit
of morning Fresh and a bag of rags, Like it's
actually a wonder.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
People went crazy online.

Speaker 1 (39:27):
Yeah, it's actually if we break this down. She's doing
a good thing, but you need Where she goes wrong
is not giving anything for the kids. She's actually doing
wonders like imagine someone turned up to your house and like, yes,
I've got all the cleaning stuff. I'm going to help
you clean. You would be like, oh my god, thank god,
especially if you have dirty kids. Over Where she loses
her audience is by giving a bag of rags to
the six year old. That's where like she's.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
I'm glad we really unpacked that and got down to
the nitty GrITT. If anyone wants to come on the weekend,
I'll send you my address. You can come with a
bag of rags and some morning fresh.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
I'm ready.

Speaker 1 (39:55):
You're inviting other people now, but I don't have any bag. Okay, cool, guys,
I have a great party, Miley May and Laura, I
hope you have a lot of dishes and nothing to
upen with.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
We have asked on cut where you guys call up.
We answer your divas darkest burning questions and we do
our absolute best to answer them. Now, we've never had
a question quite like this. One got Gabrielle on the
line and she has just found out very recently that
her husband has been cheating on her or having an affair. Gabrielle,

(40:26):
welcome to the show.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
Hello, what's been going on? How long have you been
with your husband? And how long have you found out
he's cheating on you?

Speaker 11 (40:35):
Okay?

Speaker 14 (40:36):
So we've been together relationship for twenty nine years, wow,
married three years, two kids, and apparently he has been
having an affair for five years.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
How did you find that out?

Speaker 4 (40:51):
Well?

Speaker 14 (40:52):
On story short, normally his phone has been attached to
him consistently. Yeah, he hasn't leave it in the kitchen
one night and I heard a ding go off, so
naturally I just picked it up, thinking nothing of it,
went to hand it to him and obviously discovered a

(41:13):
lovely naked woman on his phone.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Oh my god, Gabrielle, So is it been a five
year affair with the same woman?

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Yes? Wow? How long ago did you find out all
this information?

Speaker 14 (41:26):
Probably about four months ago.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
So you're still probably really in the thick of all
of it. Have you made any decisions? Are you wanting
to stay? Are you unsure? Like what is happening for you?

Speaker 14 (41:37):
Well, we are still living together, obviously. He claimed that
they haven't actually been intimate together, which is my burning question?

Speaker 4 (41:49):
Do I believe that?

Speaker 1 (41:51):
No?

Speaker 14 (41:51):
And each morning I wake up, I guess and I go, oh,
I'd love to talk to her.

Speaker 13 (41:57):
Also, is that the other question?

Speaker 14 (41:59):
I really have this craving.

Speaker 4 (42:00):
To talk to this woman, which is nautiral strange.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
No, that's not I don't think that's strange at all.
Like this is someone that has infiltrated your life directly
and indirectly for five years.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
I mean, look, there are people who definitely have come
back from infidelity in relationships, but only if their partner
is really truthful and forthcoming about it all. Like if
you if you are actually feeling like, Okay, I know
I've got the information.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
Now we can go to therapy together.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
Things have changed, Like if there's no action in changing anything,
then you're just and you're left with so many unanswered questions.
And also when you are seeking answers to those questions,
if you're being shut down or you're not getting closure
or any of this, like you can't heal because you're
expected to just believe what's being told to you from
the person who's been lying to you for five years
about something correct. So is he still talking to her?

(42:50):
Has he blocked her like, how is how where are
things at now?

Speaker 14 (42:53):
Well, apparently it's all been blocked. We haven't heard from her, obviously.
I think that wall that blocks me now is he
does still get quite defensive if you go to ask
a question or talk about it and sort of says
you should not be over it, but kind of be
over it.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
If that may No, that is rubbish, And.

Speaker 14 (43:15):
I'm thinking the time frame for me is my biggest thing.
It hasn't just been a couple of months. It's actually
been five years. And yeah, we've been married, I've had
a baby.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
He was doing this at the same time that you
were getting married, that you were walking down the aisle,
or that you were choosing to have a baby together.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
But also, he doesn't get to do this to you
and then tell you to get over it and move
on like sorry, that's not how this works. He either
has to be open and it's this goes now how
you wanted to go. If you want access to his
phone and he wants to save the relationship, he gives
it to you if you want to contact her and
ask her if you want to know anything about that situation.
He has to be willing to be completely open with you.

(43:56):
He doesn't get to gaslight you would now say you
should be over this by now. Yeah, look I agree with.

Speaker 14 (44:02):
Women, Yeah, with children and thinking that my soul.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah, GARYL I think I just thought it.

Speaker 4 (44:11):
Yeah, Yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
You're totally in your right if you want to to
reach out to this other woman to find out more
of the truth, if you think that you might get
more of the truth from her and that might give
you some sort of validity enclosure, you are absolutely in
your right to do that. And I also don't think
that you're breaching anything in the relationship by doing so,
because at the moment, it sounds like one of the

(44:35):
big things that you can't get your head around is
whether you're being lied to as to whether or not
something physical happened or didn't happen, or whether it was
just text messages.

Speaker 3 (44:44):
You are not alone.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
I think anyone who's in their car is listening to
this right now would absolutely be saying, Okay, if that
messaging has been going on back and forth, nude messages
for five years, it's probably unlikely that nothing more happened.
But you know what, even if nothing more did happen,
that's still such a huge infidelity that's happened in your
relationship for five years, that you're allowed to navigate this,

(45:08):
how is best for you?

Speaker 14 (45:09):
I think it's been eating at me, and I'm like,
should I shouldn't? I?

Speaker 2 (45:15):
I think because I think I would call guys in
this situation, what would.

Speaker 3 (45:18):
You do it?

Speaker 1 (45:19):
I mean I had been in that situation. I'm not
married with kids, but you know, I was with someone
for six years that had had a double life, and
I did contact her and we spoke for hours and
I got all the information. The difference was she didn't
know I existed either, so we were both sort of
in silo. So this woman might not want to talk
to you. I think if you're going to go down

(45:39):
that track, I would take a really gentle approach with
her and just say, look, I just want to know.
I'm not going to have a go at you. There's
nothing that's going to happen. I just want the information, Like.

Speaker 14 (45:49):
What's done is done at the end of the day.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
Yeah, it's still eats at me.

Speaker 13 (45:53):
Is is he really been?

Speaker 9 (45:56):
Like?

Speaker 4 (45:57):
Yeah, he's got a lot to lose.

Speaker 3 (45:59):
Gabrielle.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
If you do speak to her, though, please give us
a call and let us know what happens, because honestly,
if I was in your situation, I would be calling.

Speaker 3 (46:07):
That's where I would be at.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
And you don't even need to tell your husband you're calling.
To be honest, you just just.

Speaker 13 (46:11):
Do it, Just do it.

Speaker 14 (46:12):
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't devolve informations.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Yeah, please let us know how it goes. We're all
thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
We're so sorry you're in this situation, you know, And yeah,
please keep us updated because we do want to know
what happens.

Speaker 14 (46:28):
Thank you so much for listening.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
I have a question for you. Now that you are
I mean you're in newlywed, now that you have a
few days of wedding experience, marriage experience, what do you
think is the key indicator of a long term happy marriage?

Speaker 1 (46:44):
Long distance living in different countries seem each other sporadically,
like see a great Wi Fi connection.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Continuing to have a honeymoon romance, but expanse for forever.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
All right, Well, look, the reason why I want to
talk about this.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
Is because there was a Harvard professor who is uncovered
the secrets to a lasting relationship. And one might think
it's passion, one might think it's having a hot, steamy
romantic time, but it certainly doesn't seem to be it.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
Have a listen to this.

Speaker 9 (47:12):
Happiest marriages are those characterized. But what we call companionate
love not passionate love. I mean passionate love is at
the very beginning, when you're actually bonding to each other. Like,
what do you want to get to within five years?
Is best friendship? And best friendship is a magical thing.
And you get to live with your best friend, so
you get to watch TV with every night and.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
They've got your back on literally everything. Oh I think
it's nice.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
I'm sorry, pretty like you uncovered the secret. Make sure
your friends with your partner. Sorry, no, I agree with him,
but it's like, I feel like it's pretty obvious.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
This is a Harvard professor. Don't pooh pooh his research.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
God damn it.

Speaker 3 (47:51):
He's been doing this for twenty years. He told him
twenty years ago.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
He's been studying love for twenty years.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
No, okay.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
I The reason why I kind of love this is
because I do think in relationships sometimes we put so
much emphasis on keeping the spark alive and having this passionate,
all consuming relationship. But I also think that sometimes that
all consuming super passionate relationships can be the most toxic
and most problematic. And if you'd asked me years ago
what kind of relationship I wanted, I would have said fireworks, money, no,

(48:22):
not abs, abs, private ship, anny no. I would have
said I loved like the intensity of it. And I
definitely had that with my husband when we first met. Like,
I'm not going to say that that didn't exist.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
You were also fighting thirty other women for him, though
the intensity was there.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
So the intensity was so there, couldn't have been more intense.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
Oh, it was a competition. I was gonna win.

Speaker 3 (48:46):
But don't even like him.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
We've been together eight years now, and I honestly think
one of the best things about our relationship is that
we are best friends. We have so much fun together.
We love hanging out together. And you know, when I
listened to this, I think that sometimes you can get
a bit caught up in like, oh, we're keeping the
spark alive, but we're doing all the things that we
need to do in our relationship in order to like
still have that connection.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
But it's so nice to hear that.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Like the number one definer is that friendship is also
so so important.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
I just can't stop giggling every time you say it.
It's just not rocket science that you need to be
friends with your partner. But what I do like that
he says is about the fact that it's really important
to know that your intimacy levels change and they decrease,
like it's normal to have less drive and passion and
for want of another word, if you can read between
the lines here for three PM, but that is normal
in a long term relationship. And I like that he's

(49:37):
reiterating that, but I feel a bit bad for him
that he spent twenty years studying this to come that
you need to be friends with your partner.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
It's not just friends, though I disagree, it's best friends.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
And I say this shut.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
I say this because.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
There are a lot of people out there, and I'm
sure there's people listening to this who are like, yeah,
I'm friends with my partner.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
Of course I love him or I love her.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
We're really really close, but like they're not my number
one for best friend. Like I go to my girls
and I tell them X y Z before I tell
my husband. People have different relationships, for sure, but like,
what a nice place to be at when it's like
the first person you want to tell everything to.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
Is your partner.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
If you're going to spend the rest of your life
with britty No, I just shut up, britty No. This
is a shared radio show and you're allowed to talk
about the things that you want.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
To talk about as well, and Brittie's like and I'm
allowed to preoprove them.

Speaker 1 (50:27):
So anyway, happy marriage to you.