Absurd Truth: Sleepy Joe's Signature

Joe Biden used an “auto-pen” to sign official White House documents including implementing their radical climate agenda. Meanwhile, all hell just breaks loose at a House hearing after “Sarah” McBride is accurately called  “Mister”. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dana Lashes of surd Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida man. I feel like this one was inspired
by Philadelphia. Bodycam video shows a Florida man strikes a
police horse and then leads to a wild horseback chase
in a crowd That happened in Philly after the Eagles parade.

(00:29):
The guy punched a Philadelphia police horse in the face. Well,
this Florida man did the same thing. Video shows the
moment a Florida police officer on horseback pursued a twenty
two year old suspect after he struck the officer's horse.
Bodycam video shows the Tampa Police Department mounted patrol officer
and horse clearing a busy street on March ninth, And
the officer's trying everybody off and everybody away, and then

(00:51):
then you hear the cops say to the one kid,
don't touch the horse. And then the guy, this kid,
his name is. The suspect is Justin Rieira allegedly struck
the police horse before running off into the crowd attempting
to evade apprehension. The horse can be seen galloping through
the crowd as the officer went after him. Stop, you're
under arrest. Watch out. Eventually the officers were able to

(01:11):
reprehend him. It's a felony to hit a horse, so
there you go. But yeah, that's a little bit Philadelphia
inspired here. Just don't punch police horses in the face.
It's not nice. It's just really, they never punched. You
shouldn't punch anybody in the face. But a Florida man
was arrested after being accused of trying to steal his
aunt's home. The Fort Myers Police Department arrested twenty seven

(01:34):
year old Gregory Matthews Junior on Monday after being accused
of trying to steal property rights to a woman's home
that was listed on the clerk of the court's property
fraud alert. Gulf Coast News learned that the victim was
former city council woman Christine Matthews, who resigned from a
position in twenty fourteen. Investigators say that Christine tried to
transfer ownership to her home to her brother, but was

(01:54):
waiting on a physical copy of her license, but then
the brother died before the paperwork was finished, so the
kid finalized the deal for himself using his dad's information
in a fake driver's license and a property theft. I've
seen the commercials. I didn't really think it was a
real thing, but there you go. But they got him anyway.

(02:17):
Is this genius used a fake ID by using a
photograph from Facebook? So you know, I'm sure it wasn't
exactly very high reds and probably not that hard to spot.
And finally, a Farida man wins a free speech case
over Trump banner's county ordered to pay him forty two
thousand dollars. This is good. A Santa Rosa beach man
has just won a free speech lawsuit against Walton County.

(02:39):
He had hung two large banners supporting Donald Trump from
the balconies of his home and they say that the
banner's violated property maintenance rules, but he said it was
a right to free speech. The county began to find
him fifty dollars a day. Case went to court. He
had a lot of support across the country, and a
judge rule of the county was in the wrong, ordered
county officials to pay him forty two thousand dollars in

(03:01):
legal fees and fines. And the man is still flying.
Is Trump banners? Well? There you go. Good for him.
That's a win for the good guys and a win
for the First Amendment, a win for freedom of speech.
That makes me very very happy.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
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Speaker 4 (03:16):
We can't do any of those without them, our friends
over at Heltech, great Florida company, although they have now
a Wyoming facility too that they've opened, and I think
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(03:38):
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Speaker 3 (03:43):
It is so light I thought I was gonna throw
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Speaker 4 (03:47):
Forty percent lighter than the next lightest five to seven.
So I have five sevens. There's none that I could
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It's that thin and it's that light. Now they achieve
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(04:08):
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Speaker 3 (04:23):
So there you have that.

Speaker 4 (04:24):
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(04:46):
Tell them danasen to you.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Here's a real question. Speaker Mike Johnson had made the
point that Biden didn't remember doing the liquid natural gas
export ban. The story that's come out about the auto
pen in the White House being used to sign documents,
the autopen is this. It's this elusive magic machine pen
in the White House. Somewhere somewhere in the White House

(05:12):
or the old Executive Office building I was at our
Executive Office building, and you sign, you send a letter
to the president, and the president gets lots of mail,
as you can imagine, so they autopen a thank you letter, declining,
speaking requests, all kinds of different things. It just it's
autopen for the most part. And typically things that actually
carry the weight of law, executive orders and things like

(05:33):
that were signed by the president. Pardons are actually physically
signed by the president and not auto penned. So the
story that comes out this week is that Joe Biden
used the auto pen on all these official documents. This
goes to what is I think the greatest political scandal
of our time, which is Biden's cognitive decline and the
cover up of Biden's cognitive decline. How how how bad

(05:57):
was it and were their forces within the White House?
We're taking advantage of the fact that he had a
president who was literally hiding his own Easter eggs and
then signing whatever they wanted with the autopen. Because that's
what Mike Johnson said, he told the stories. He says
to Biden, he goes, I can't believe he put in
a band on liquid natural gas, and Biden, it's like
I did huh. The problem is he may have and

(06:18):
just forgot, or it may have been people who are
taking advantage of the fact that Biden is hiding his
own Easter eggs and then went ahead with the autopan
and did it anyway as a policy move. We don't know.
We don't know, but it really opens up the question
should we be investigating the pardons, executive orders, and so
many other things that were signed by the President of
the United States allegedly using the autopan. I think the

(06:40):
answer to that is yes, because it was It's very
obvious that they knew this man was cognitively that he'd
lost it as far back as twenty twenty, and he
was a puppet, and then forces were using that puppet.
How far did they use him? On the issue of
oil and natural gas, though he did everything he possibly
could to stop the United States of America from drilling.

(07:01):
At the very same time, though he was doing everything
he possibly could to ensure offshore windmills. Massive offshore wind
turbines that kill whales and dolphins do nothing for the
energy supply in this country. Nothing they do cause consumer
energy bills to go up. A lot of people are
discovering right now, how their energy bills are skyrocketed, Like

(07:22):
where I live in New Jersey, for example, We've discovered
this and people are shocked, and you go through the
bill and you itemize it, and you realize what you're subsidizing.
A lot of this is green energy nonsense, is what
you're subsidizing. So in Caroline Levitt and let's cue up
cut number one here talks about a period of economic transition.
What we're really talking about is undoing the damage that
was created by this administration being so anti energy and

(07:46):
so pro green energy, which does not provide the energy
needs of the United States of America, certainly not the world,
but does enable Vadimir Putin to get a trillion dollars
from the same European countries that are giving Ukraine, you know,
fifteen twenty bucks to fight their war against Putin.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
We see today, the numbers we saw yesterday, the numbers
we see we'll see tomorrow, are a snapshot of a
moment of time. And as President champ has said, and
I'm here to echo the remarks of this President of
this White House, we are in a period of economic transition.
We are in a period of transition from the mess
that was created under Joe Biden in the previous administration.

(08:22):
Joe Biden left this country in an economic disaster.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
It was an economic disaster, and it's going to take
time to undo that economic disaster, no doubt about it.
It's going to take time. And as part of that though,
you have to ask yourself, well, what's the long term
play of the left here when it comes to energy.
Democrats are proposing twenty thousand dollars fines for gas stations
that don't warn customers about climate change. No, that's a

(08:48):
real story. That's a real story. So I was in
pharmacy the other day and this pharmacy was selling cigarettes.
I wasn't buying them, but I just noticed a sign
and said that cigarett companies have lied to you. Whatever
it is. They're ordered by law to put the sign up,
and the cigaret companies have to pay for them. You know,
they lie to you about the harms of smoking and

(09:10):
blah blah blah. Well, the idea of the left and
people like Avenuwsom going after oil natural gas companies says, oh,
they lie to you about climate change. They didn't tell
you that, they didn't tell you the truth about climate
change and how their product was leading to climate change.
So gas station owners and other retailers who sell fuel
in Colorado could be whacked with a twenty thousand dollars

(09:34):
fine if they don't include labels warning consumers that by
using the product they are harming the climate. Now, first
of all, there's zero actual scientific evidence that that is
the case, but don't let facts stand in the way
of a good bill of totalitarianism. One of the sponsors
of the bill, State Representative Juny Joseph, said that they're

(09:57):
trying to encourage encourage people in Colorado to biker walk
because everybody knows burning fossil fuels contributes to greenhouse gas emissions.
But struggle to explain then why it was imperative for
the state to warn gas buyers about a problem. Well,
I tell you what it is. What it comes down to,
and this is this is this is what's going to
bite the left in the you know what, in very

(10:18):
short matter of time. On the one hand, they're destroying
Teslas and they're they're they're arguing that by destroying a
Tesla factory, that's actually a great form of protest. At
the same time, they're still trying to warn people that,
and and and get them out of gas powered cars
and into electric vehicles, Tesla electric vehicles. Elon Musk made

(10:40):
the electric vehicle something palatable to the masses, something that
the masses could afford. And now you've got people who
are who are selling them, burning them, calling them hate mobiles.
This is the actor Jason Bateman who sold his Tesla
because he said it felt to him like he was
just driving around a giant Trump bumper sticker. So yesterday,
when Trump has Elon Musk at the White House and

(11:02):
gets this shiny red Tesla and the cyber truck and everything,
it occurred to me that a Tesla is now going
to be a sign of conservatism, which I'm okay with.
I don't care. You drive whatever you want, gas electric,
you know, do you do you? But for me, the
only reason why I would ever want one is the
self driving car. I'm a gen xer baby, I grew
up watching Night Rider. I want I want kit you know,

(11:25):
I want night Rider. I want a car that drives me.
But I heard from people that have the self driving
feature on the Tesla. First of all, you have to
pay for it. Secondly, I would only want it if
I could take a nap, you still have to keep
your hands on the steering wheel and you basically still
are driving. It's just it's it's like driver assists more
than anything else. No, what I want is I want
to be in the backseat taking a nap, and I

(11:47):
want the car to do the driving, and then I
want the car to give me all kinds of ideas
on how it can defeat my enemies, just like Kit
did Tonight Rider. Okay, we have that car. I'll buy it,
whether it's gas or whether it's it's electric. But I
would prefer are a gas powered car like Kick because
that was a gas guzzler. That that Oh man, what
a great car. And that was David Hasselhoff in his prime.

(12:09):
All Right, I don't care what you tell me about Baywatch.
Night Rider was Hoff in his prime. But here's MSNBC
cut twenty two.

Speaker 6 (12:18):
But then you also overnight have this post claiming that
protests at Tesla dealerships are illegal. He said today he
would label violence against dealerships domestic terrorism.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, it's it's there. You go, you know, burn them
down and try to put them out of business. And
it doesn't matter about the workers. I mean, screw the workers,
you know what I mean, Forget them, Forget the workers
and the people that are actually building the cars, servicing
the cars, selling the cars. Who cares. This is why
the left has lost the working class in this country.
Is there are people right now building these cars and

(12:52):
they're thinking like, why are these people trying to put
me out of a job? Because they don't care about you.
That's why they just don't care.

Speaker 4 (12:58):
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Speaker 3 (14:10):
That's Dana Likes Gold dot Com.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
And now all of the news you would probably miss,
it's time for Dana's Quick five. So the United States
has been added to the international watch list for rapid
decline and Civic Freedoms. Yes, CIVICUS, an international nonprofit, puts
the country alongside the Democratic Republic of Congo, which, by
the way, is nothing democratic about it. Italy, Pakistan and Serbia.

(14:35):
Here's why is Italy on the list? That's offensive? Why
are we on the list? This is insane? Well maybe
it's because of this. USDA stops funding research into trans
men's menstrual cycles. Let me say that again, because I
know that that's a little bit like you might have said,
Zioli tog stutter. Yes, that's right. Agriculture Secretary Brook Rollins,

(14:56):
in a post on X announced that the USDA is
canceling a six hundred th thousand dollars grant towards this
research project used to fund research into menstrual cycles in
trans identified men. We are a horrible, horrible country, are
we not? The United States Postal Service warning customers of
major disruptions as mail carriers are set to take on

(15:18):
a new task, and you'll face being questioned. Trump's new
plan could have mail carriers knocking on your door or
will they do? Will they haul you away? Will they
will they try to enter your home? Or will they
just count you for the census. That's right, it'd probably
be that. So, you know, I like my mailman. Richie's

(15:39):
a nice guy. Texas Senate poise to pass bill requiring
classroom displays of the Ten Commandments and they're freaking out
about that too. How can we have a classroom display
of the Ten Commandments? What if the children don't want
to look at it like the scene and Raiders of
the Lost Ark don't look away, Marion look away. Literally,

(16:00):
it could be like that. I'm just saying, you know,
and then everybody looks at the Ten Commandments, they just
you know, the Yark of the Covenant, and then you know,
their faces melt. I'm just saying it's very possible. It
could be the case. I'd be very, very cautious of
this if I were you. And finally, this is something
we all needed to know. And I don't even know
this was a thing werewolf syndrome. Did you know this

(16:20):
was a thing werewolf syndrome. Well, a teenager who's been
called werewolf Boy and monkey Boy due to his rare condition,
has been awarded a Guinness World Record for having the
hairiest male face in the world. He has a teen
with werewolf syndrome or into the Daily Star, and he
does kind of look like teen Wolf. I mean, if

(16:42):
you ever saw the show or the movie teen Wolf,
he kind of does look like teen Wolf. I'm just
saying a real life teen wolf. His name is Lalite Patadar, eighteen,
born with a super rare condition known as werewolf syndrome,
which has left his face almost entirely blanketed in hair.
Poor kid, but he's only around fifty dollars documented cases
reported worldwide since the Middle Ages, is making him one

(17:03):
in a billion, and now he's in the Guinness Book
of World Records. He said, I am speechless. I am
so grateful for this honor that I am at a
loss for words. I like, how am I? I don't
want to change my look, and nor should you, my man,
go with it, go with it and be proud and
how at the move? This is something interesting. So there's

(17:24):
a member of Congress from Delaware. It's a biological male
and identifies as a woman. This caused a whole battle
on Capitol Hill over bathrooms, bathroom rights and bathroom issues
and everything else, and all hell broke loose yesterday and
a committee hearing when the chairman of the committee referred
to this member of Congress as congressman talking about Representative

(17:50):
Sarah McBride. So the chairman of the committee accurately called
Sarah McBride mister, it's just I mean, look, I can
say I'm Batman, trust me, I'm not Batman. I can
say I can identify as Batman. I can tell you
I'm Batman. Doesn't make me Batman. Just like a man

(18:11):
can identify as a woman doesn't make him a woman.
It just doesn't. Now, I mean, should the chairman have
said representative versus congressman. Would that have been more polite,
more decorum, or do we just finally address this nonsense
head on once and for all and say we're gonna stop.
We're gonna stop living a lie, We're gonna stop pushing

(18:32):
a lie. We're gonna stop going with this idea that
we don't entertain the truth. Truth for its own sake.
Men or men. Women are women, and that's it. You're
free to dress up like whoever you want. But I mean,
you're still a man, still a dude, even if you
get it chopped off, You're still a man. Getting it
chopped off doesn't change that status. Here's cut twenty Representative

(18:54):
from Delaware. Mister McBride, thank you, madam, Chair Rank Member Keating,
also wonderful Chairman.

Speaker 7 (19:02):
Could you repeat your introduction again, please? Yes, it's a
it's a we have set the standard on the floor
of the House, and I'm simply what is that standard?
Mister chairman, Would you repeat what you just said you
introduced a duly elected representative from the United States of America, please,

(19:23):
I will the representative from Delaware, mister McBride. Mister chairman,
you are out of order. Mister chairman, have you no decency?
I mean I have come to know you a little bit,
but this is not decent.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
We will continue this.

Speaker 7 (19:39):
You will not continue it with me unless you introduce
a duly elected representative the right way.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
This hearing is adjourned. There are you know? I mean, look,
the Sarah McBride is a man. I don't know. I
don't know what to say. I'm tired of of this
idea that we all live. Alie, you could argue that
decorum and it would have been more polite if the
chairman had just said representative McBride. But you know, for

(20:12):
the freak out by the left over that issue, because
the congress person was just going to go on with
the question. But the Democrats have to use this as
a moment to grandstand, and if they want a grandstand
over this, go ahead. I See. There's what I don't
understand is that they're still doubling down on all this.
They're doubling down on this transgender issue, particularly when it
comes to kids and sports. And I don't get this.

(20:34):
I don't understand this. You're talking about such a small
minority of people. We're not talking about rounding up and
killing these people. We're just we're talking about the truth
of science, which is that there are just two genders.
Here's the person who is turtle gender, who currently sits
on the Oregon Consumer Advisory Council, which advises decisions about

(20:55):
mental health services in the state, turtle gender. Now, I
went to the University of Maryland, so I'm a terrapin.
So I'm a turp, but I still don't identify as
a freaking turtle. It's my mascot, I roof for the terrapiins.
I say, don't fear the turtle. I also don't think
i'm turtle gender Cut twenty one. Hello everybody, it's JD.

Speaker 4 (21:20):
Turtle and pronouns pronouns are turtle and they them.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Hello, everybody, it's JD, and you say them or turtle
for pronouns. Hello, everybody, it's JD.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Da them and turtle for pronouns in the pookfieldy gene area.
Go back in your show and come back when you're
not crazy. I mean, this is mental illness. We're now,
we're now, we're now identifying people as freaking turtles. This
is this is okay. It's not okay. There's nothing okay
about this. It's it's it's insane and it's nuts and

(21:52):
it's crazy, and we should not entertain this. We should
give these people the help what they need. I'm sorry,
but we should, bottom line, give people the help what
they need. And when you're dealing with kids here, because
I really don't care what you do as an adult,
you want to identify as a turtle? Freaking identifies a turtle.
I don't know what to tell you, but I think we
can all agree it's mental illness. So why don't we

(22:12):
just get people help? Wouldn't that be the kind compassionate
thing to do instead of oh you're a turtle? Oh
are you a brackish water turtle? A fresh water turtle?
What kind of turtle are you? And can I make
soup out of you? Because turtle soup is delicious? Have
you ever had it? Snapper turtle soup. Maybe identify as
a snapper turtle and just go around biting people. Now,

(22:37):
this is an interesting clip here rapper Lil Yakti Little
Yakti openly calling Black Lives Matter a scam, because Black
Lives Matter is a scam. It was a scam. It's
why Black Live Mansions BLM. Black Live Mansions where you
get all these people buying mansions using money rays through

(22:58):
the Black Lives Matter movement. Take a listen.

Speaker 8 (23:01):
Oh well that yeah, that's that's a good. Yeah, yeah,
it's just blurry. I'll be doing so much because he
will be so vi b a scam. Clip that BLM was.
It was literally a scam. They had bought mansions and
you probably wouldn't know anything about because you don't care
about black people.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Don't follow I do care about black people. Look at
my chocolate Boom is a scam. There are a lot
of people out there that they're race hustlers and they
use stuff like this to divide America and to get
rich off of it. And it's over. It's done. It's over.
President Trump's election was the death of woke. The fact
that he did so well with black voters means the

(23:41):
end of woke, the end of this nonsense, and we
should be trying to unite as Americans, not look for
ways to divide us. That would be the healthy thing
to do. That's what we should be doing in this country.
But not Senator or list of sluck and gave the
Democrat response to the other not the Trump state of the
State joint addressed to no, No, Senator slockin. People who

(24:03):
voted for Trump did so because of this cuts seventeen. Right.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
I think there's a feeling in the country and I
always often say this. You know, we're about to turn
two hundred and fifty years old, right, We're still pretty
young for a country. These are our like like our
angry teenage years, right, we are going through this push
and pull where we're happy, we're sad, we want this,
we want that. And what do you do when you
have a teenager who's threatening themselves and others. You just

(24:30):
try to get them through this period alive so that
their brain can fully form and you can come back
to kind of what the country trump. Now I'm talking
about our country. We're pendulum swinging, we're mondulum swinging, and.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
So yeah, I don't know what to do about that.
This is we're young country, but we got mood mood issues.
Is that we're moody, We're cranky. Is that what it is?
Moody and cranky? I guess so.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's
Absurd Youoth podcast.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
button on

Speaker 1 (25:03):
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts