Still Life: The Posthumously Published Diary of Lara Gilbert

What can we learn from the posthumously published diary of Lara Gilbert, a young Canadian woman with BPD traits who suffered from complex PTSD in the 1990s? In this episode, I read excerpts from I Might Be Nothing: Journal Writing, a selection of writings from the 3200-page diary of Lara Gilbert, which I read in the archives of the University of Victoria. Lara was a brilliant and talented writer, and I wanted some of her words to be heard. While her story is tragic, her experience is a reminder that life is always hard, no matter which era you live in, but we have far more treatment options for BPD and complex PTSD than we did 30 years ago. It is also a reminder that our words live on.

This episode concludes the first year of the podcast.

Trigger warning: This episode talks about CSA, rape, and suicide.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or go to SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources:

Walter Benjamin, “The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction”

Jennifer Douglas et al., “‘Treat Them with the Reverence of Archivists’: Records Work, Grief Work, and Relationship Work in the Archives”

Lara Gilbert, I Might Be Nothing: Journal Writings

Cynthia Gralla, “Boxed Memories,” Room, Vol. 46, No. 3 (“Ghosts” issue), September 2023

Murasaki Shikibu, The Tale of Genji

Murasaki Shikibu, The Diary of Murasaki Shikibu

Bea Tusiani, Pamela Tusiani, and Paula Tusiani-Eng, Remnants of a Life on Paper: A Mother and Daughter’s Struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder