January 21, 2025 • 63 mins
Join us as we dive into the world of friendship movies! Discover what defines a true 'friendship film,' hear our top picks for the best friendship flicks of all time, and find out which iconic fictional character we’d love to call our BFF.
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Quick disclaimer, friends – we're not doctors, just two people who love to share ideas and experiences. This podcast is for fun and informational purposes only. It's not meant to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have questions about your health, definitely reach out to your doctor or a qualified health professional. Take care of yourselves and use what feels right for you!
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Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:00):
Music.
Robin (00:09):
Welcome to the Art of classiness podcast, a show where we redefine what it means to be a classy lady and sometimes it's messy. I'm Robin
Deborah (00:17):
and I'm Deborah, two friends turned classy ladies who are here to discuss life's ups and downs, navigating the complexities of adulthood and how the gift of friendship is essential to belonging. Today,
Robin (00:28):
we're diving into our favorite friendship flicks. We'll explore what truly makes a movie a friendship movie, share our all time favorite pics and even decide which fictional character we'd want as our BFF.
Deborah (00:40):
So follow along. Give us your feedback, and don't forget to like and subscribe. What's up? Classy Ladies and classy gentlemen, Hi, Hi, Robin. How are you? You know what I am? Well, I am here. We are still in the month of January, slugging through. I haven't seen the sun, and I don't remember how long,
Robin (01:01):
oh my gosh, I feel so bad for you. I know it's very sunny here today, every day, I have a story for you, please share. So I live around the corner from one of my best friends, Tiffany. She and her husband, they have two dogs, so we go over there with Penny. Sometimes they haven't seen Penny do the stern game. Yeah, she's getting really good at it. She is like a drug dog at this point. Tiffany's husband is an ex Davy seal, so he has experience working with really intelligent dogs, you know, searching for IEDs and stuff like that. I was like, Hey, Jay, you want to see Penny play the surfing game? He's like, what's that? I was like, Well, let me show you. So I didn't have our normal gear with us, so I just saw, like, this tube of lotion, which I haven't done anything like that with Penny, so I didn't know if it would actually work. I just unscrewed it, I put some on my finger, and I told her to smell it, and then I just hid the whole tube under a blanket, and she freaking found it. And when she finds it, she sits so she found it, then she acknowledged that she found it. Wow. Actually, my mind was a little blown too. She'd never smelled this lotion before. I wasn't sure like if it smelled like other things in their house. Nope, she found it so fast.
Deborah (02:23):
Wow, it's wild. We need to get Penny a job. She has a job. She's my baby girl, I know, but for income, oh, should rent her services out.
Robin (02:34):
You know, they have a mold dog here in Texas. What is that? A dog that goes into houses to smell mold, like in the walls and stuff. Oh, because sometimes the tests aren't as reliable. This dog finds it every time. And so I follow the guy on Instagram. He'll show them practicing it at home. That's what inspired me to start trading penny.
Deborah (02:55):
Oh my gosh, that's so cool and so helpful. So what do you see being the next thing that you train her what to smell for? Because I know the goal or initial thought was gluten, gluten. But are there other things that you're like, maybe curious to see if she can smell? Yeah,
Robin (03:13):
it's got me thinking about a lot more with gluten. There's another step we need to take with that and that she needs to identify gluten in food. So she only knows the scent of gluten right now, we're just playing with that. I'm not sure how to approach that, because you put food in front of her face, she's gonna be like, do I eat this? Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. Like wrapping foil around something and poking holes, I'm not sure. So figuring that out is something that's been on my mind. But also I want to start scent training her outdoors, because there's a lot more going on outside. Yeah, for sure, there's a lot more distractions, a lot more smells. So I wonder where we need to get with her indoors before we like, transition outdoors. That's what I've been mainly thinking about. But now that I've determined that she can identify a scent after being presented with it, I don't even like I feel like I need to get some books, yeah, because that's not something you teach. That is the German Shepherd in her deciphering like she smells everything. It's nose first. I think that it's nose first for dogs in general, but like, she has a very strong sense of smell, so I want to nurture that.
Deborah (04:32):
Yeah, yeah. That's so amazing. This is, like, it wasn't a dog, it was an actual woman. I don't know if you've ever heard this story was on an episode of I believe radio Lab, which is a fantastic radio show slash podcast. And this woman had been married to her husband for decades, and she said that all of a sudden he started smelling repulsive to her, like a very disgusting. Smell like rancid. And she would get on him like, you know, you need to shower more. She would like, buy him soap. She would ask him to, like, change his laundry. She almost got to a point where she couldn't be around him, and for some reason, they were, I can't remember the order of the events, whether or not he was diagnosed with Parkinson's first, or they realized that he had Parkinson's because they went to a Parkinson's support group, and she was completely overwhelmed with that smell.
Robin (05:33):
I think I've read this story that is insane,
Deborah (05:37):
yes, and she realized that she could smell Parkinson's crazy, crazy that
Robin (05:44):
is so insane. So yeah, what was the classiest thing you saw this week?
Deborah (05:49):
Well, I should preface it by saying I have not seen a whole lot of anything in the past week, because we are very much in winter. It is super cold outside. I think it was as low as like 12 degrees earlier this week, and about once a month I need an entire day where I don't leave my house and like, speak to no one and have no human interaction. It's usually also the day I like catch up on all my house chores because my schedule is very much jam packed sun up to sundown. My kids go to their fathers Thursday, and I'm in a relationship. And, you know, obviously we see each other, not just because I'm not with my kids, because he obviously has been around my kids, but our schedule without our kids are the same, so I have, like, no time to myself, so I have to carve out that time. It's your fill your cup day, right? It's my fill my cup day. So this past Saturday was my fill my cup day. And like I said, normally, I like to interact with nobody in real life whatsoever during these times. But it'd been a while since I connected with my best friend, Leah, who lives in Charlotte. And I was like, you know, even though no part of me actually wants to engage with a human right now, like, I know this is the only day I have in the foreseeable future to, like, catch up. So I gave her a call, and it was one of those, like, we were on the phone, on and off for like, two hours. I swear to God, it was one of those, like, calling and she was like, running errands. So she's like, let me call you back. I gotta return something. And then I'm like, she's probably not gonna call me back. I didn't hold her on the hook to, like, actually call me back, calls me back. We talked for another period of time, and then she's like, Hold on, I gotta drop my son off. I'm like, Okay, at this point I feel psychologically fulfilled. Nope, cause we actually talked for like another 30 minutes, like, literally spent so much time just catching up about this, that and the other. And I really
(07:52):
give her credit, because communicating over the phone is, I don't want to call of love language, but it's very much her style of connection. She is that friend that you're like, Okay, I really, Igotta go. I'm like, walking into the office, and she's like, okay, okay, okay, but wait really quick. Did you see that so and so and so and so? And I'm like, this is an entirely new conversation, like she could stay on the phone forever, and I can't always do that, either emotionally or, you know, because of my time constraints. So it was really nice to just have that open window and catch up. And, you know, it's really hard to just have long conversations with friends these days. So really grateful to have done that, especially
Robin (08:34):
on the phone, especially on the phone. I called a friend recently, and in my mind, I was like, I'm gonna call her and she's gonna be so happy to hear from me, and it's going to be joyful. She picks up the phone, and she was like, Why are you calling me
out? And I was like, This
is not what I expected from you. And she's like, you know, I hate talking on the phone, my gosh. And I was like, I forgot about that fact, I was just so excited to call you, I didn't think about yourfeelings. No, it was about me. It was just really funny. Why are you calling me? Like I get that. I feel that, especially these days, people don't like talking on the phone. Yeah, it's not for everyone, but we do have those few friends where you can just go off. I have a friend like that where we schedule calls and we'll talk for like, two hours.
Deborah (09:25):
That's so great scheduling it is very smart, because not to, like, pivot into a dark area. But last year, our group of friends suffered just a lot of tragedy, I'll just say. And there was a period of time when a friend called me, my heart dropped, because you didn't know what bad news was going to happen, and we just unfortunately went through a few months in a row. It was like if we heard from friends, it was usually coupled with bad news. So in order to sort of break. Take that neural pathway in your brain. I think we should just intermittently start calling each other again, yeah, to, like, re associate our brains with, like, No, it's good news. Or, like, No, I just want to see how you're doing. Like, I remember one time Lauren, I think either called me or I called her and we were like, everything's okay. That was the first thing that we had to say on the phone. So yes, I think scheduling calls alleviates any of that anxiety if you've been in that situation. Well, what about you, Robin? What was the classiest thing that you saw? So
Robin (10:34):
I've lived in this neighborhood for six years. Oh, wow. And throughout that time, I always see this woman in the morning with her little trash bag and a little trash picker upper thingy, little clip thing, yeah, and she just goes for her walks in the neighborhood, picking up trash. Oh, she's done it for years. Like, I see her all the time, like it's, you could tell it's just part of her routine. I'm gonna go for my walk. I'm gonna pick up some trash and go on with the rest of my day. And I just think that's super classy, keeping our neighborhood clean.
Deborah (11:11):
That is so classy. You know, who also does that? You're not gonna know who also does that. Oh. David Sedaris, are you familiar with David Sedaris, yeah, for those of you who don't know, he is a very, very funny writer. He writes for The New Yorker. He's done many books. So David Sedaris lives in the UK, and he also started going around picking up trash, and the city that he lives in named the garbage truck after him as a token of appreciation for the work that he does for the
Robin (11:47):
city. Wait, did they name it David Sedaris, or did they just name it David? I
Deborah (11:51):
believe they named it his full name. You have to David is too common. All right. Well, good for her for being a classy woman and looking out for the community around her, that's excellent to see. Yeah, so today's topic is really fun for me, because I am a big movie buff, but there's so many categories of movies these days, you know, Rom Com, action, suspense, horror and I think, an overlooked category that we want to talk about on this podcast are friendship movies, because they're very rarely called friendship movies. You normally have friends in movies, in an adventure movie, in a rom com, but there are just some movies where like that is the plot. And we thought it would be really fun to just talk about that genre of movie today, talk about maybe some of the things that make a movie a friendship movie, and then we are going to both talk about our top three best friend movies of all time. That's right, Debbie.
Robin (12:57):
And what I love about these friendship movies the most is that even if it is some kind of rom com, the focal point is still around the friendship, like the conflict and everything. It revolves around the friendship, and a lot of times we can identify with the conflict that these characters are handling. In fact, one of my favorite movies came out the same year I went through a terrible breakup. So yeah, it's about a breakup, but it's also about your friends showing up and helping you, like, navigate this new life that you're entering. So yeah, I'm really excited to talk about
(13:33):
this. For
Deborah (13:34):
me, the things that really make a friendship movie is first and foremost just having that tangible, deep, emotional connection, you usually get some type of background in the sense that they've known each other since childhood, or you maybe get a flashback how they met in the first place. And there's a level of comfort, usually between these characters that is unbridled, whether it is affectionate and cuddly with each other, or I personally love when there are young pictures of them in the set, or they'll recall like a picture of the two of them when they are younger. And you can really get that sense of like a history between these characters and the plot is usually driven by their friendship, like you said, whether or not the larger plot is a rom com. What's funny is, right now, I'm thinking of a movie that is an interesting one to talk about because of how it ends. But did you ever see something borrowed? No, okay, so something borrowed is an interesting one because it is really about the ways in which you outgrow a friend. Sometimes you hang on to a friendship for too long, because the premise of that one is Kate Hudson and Jennifer Goodwin are best friends. They've been friends forever, all through childhood, high school, and Jennifer meets a guy in law school, and they're getting. Along, they're flirting. She has feelings for him, and then when he meets Kate Hudson's character, they start dating. And so she has to just sort of take a back seat, oh my God, and watch her best friend end up getting engaged to this guy that she has literally been quietly in love with it's definitely an interesting movie because Kate Hudson's character is terrible, and she's not very nice to Jennifer Goodwin through a lot of it, and also is not a very good fiance to this guy, jeez. But what happens so often is, I think Jennifer sticks around because they have such a long, deep friendship. So it's kind of that case of, like, what do you do when you
(15:47):
outgrow each other? And even though, you know, spoiler alert, they end up having an affair. Jennifer Goodwin and the fiance have, like, an affair, I know, something borrowed, great name, and obviouslyruins their friendship. But you get to a point at the end of the end of the movie where you realize, you know what, we served our time together. Now we have to move
Robin (16:07):
on, served our time. You know
Deborah (16:09):
what I mean? Sometimes people are in your life to take you to the next phase of your life. Yeah, I get that, and I think that that's an important arc to see in a movie like that, because it's very relatable.
Robin (16:22):
Okay, I'll have to check that out. It sounds good, yeah, is it good? Or is it just it
Deborah (16:27):
is easy, okay, it is easy to watch. There's some cute scenes. They have a really funny like dance scene with each other. Again, it's pure cheese. I mean, I think you would like it just based on our previous conversations about Hallmark movies. Yeah. Okay, so it's definitely up your alley, in that sense, great. What about you? What do you think are some other good traits in a friendship movie for me,
Robin (16:53):
and this is something that I take pride in, and my life is unwavering loyalty. Loyalty is huge for me and friendship and so I like watching how that's portrayed in other films. Can give me inspiration on what to do or what not to do, how to maintain boundaries, because loyalty doesn't mean your friends get to walk all over you, you know, right, right. So the kinds of movies that use that as a pillar of strength during adversity, like, for that friendship, I think is really inspirational,
Deborah (17:27):
yeah, and when you just sort of have that bond that you know is going to be unbreakable. So this is an old school reference, but one movie I will always watch, like, if it's on TV, or, if it just like randomly pops up on my suggestions, is the Goonies.
Robin (17:45):
Oh, okay, the
Deborah (17:48):
Goonies. I mean, I think I get so much nostalgia from them just riding their bikes around. You know? It just makes me think of that innocent time when you were in middle school or early high school, and that was your mode of transportation. And you know, this is back in the day when you couldn't just go online and see what your friends were doing, or the fact that your friends are hanging out without you, which is a terrible thing that our kids will now have to experience, and just like social media, sort of outing them when they're hanging out without each other. You knew where everyone was based on the bikes in the front yard. I grew up in a small town, and yeah, it was either bikes in a front yard or bikes in front of the grocery store, you know, like, oh, everyone must be at the you know, save on was the convenience store. And like, you'd go there and take your allowance money and buy some big chew and a Coke, and just like that movie of this like scrappy group of childhood friends that is doing everything they can so that their neighborhood doesn't get sold to developers, because they're convinced if they don't live in the same neighborhood, that they're just not going to be friends anymore, right? And that happens, yeah? 100% so that kicks off that whole adventure. When I think of like, a good, scrappy group of friends, it's funny. I think of that, and then, like, the sand lot,
Robin (19:09):
the sand lot, yep, yes, the sand lot.
Deborah (19:12):
It's funny because both boy movies, but maybe it's because I'm a little bit more, I think I've got masculine energy, I've been told so I like relate to those types of friends. I also grew up with guy friends a lot, so did I? So a lot of that like behavior and those dynamics in those movies, like it was so familiar to me. I did not grow up with, like, girly girls, you know? Yeah,
Robin (19:36):
I grew up playing sports. I had two brothers. I was totally a tomboy for the longest time. Took me a while to find my femininity, because I had to find it on my own. Honestly, same,
Deborah (19:51):
same 100% Yeah, my mom was very uncomfortable. I think having those types of conversations same. So I. Taught myself everything for better or for worse, makeup, plucking my eyebrows, which is probably why I eviscerated them, shaving my legs, like all of that stuff I kind of taught myself because I think my mom was just like, uncomfortable, like, I don't know, teaching it or something. Yeah. Why
Robin (20:19):
did you have me right? You're not gonna, like, teach me how to be
Deborah (20:24):
a woman. So I kind of had to rely on my girlfriends, you know, to check me every once in a while, like I was doing something wrong. And I love friendship movies when they're younger. You know what I mean, even though, like, now as an adult, it might feel weird to, like, watch that kind of movie. But, like, I love thinking back around that, like young age of innocence,
Robin (20:46):
this actually makes me think of 13 going on 30. Oh, my God, yes, that's one of my favorite rom coms, because you see how she is with friendships as an early teen, and then she gets thrown into adulthood. She's like, wait a second, none of this is like the way I thought it would be. I'm gonna make it better. Yeah, I'm gonna put some sparkles on it. And with that, she learns that these people that she wanted to be friends with as a kid are not her real friends, which is a hard thing to figure out when you're that young, because there's so many other elements. Yeah, right. Because you all go to the same school, you want people to think that you're cool to be around. So she's trying to fit under that umbrella, and just realizes, you know what, this person likes me exactly for who I am, so that's who I want to be friends with, and maybe Mary spend the rest of my life with. So good.
Deborah (21:40):
It is so good. That's a great call out movie. And what I really like about that plot point too, is, you know, she kind of jumps ahead into the life that she is going to have once she makes the decision to chase after the popular girls, she finds out what a bad friend she has become as well. You know, that's right, yeah, she realizes that she was a backstabber, that she is someone who lies and cheats and is willing to do anything for fame or popularity. And that's like a reckoning within herself. And it just goes to show you, like how choosing these friendships when you're younger can have a massive impact as to like how you are as an adult,
Robin (22:22):
it really can for better or worse, great, great movie.
Deborah (22:26):
So that's the premise of a friendship movie. You've got deep connections. You have people overcoming adversity. You have people really showing you who you are. Hopefully, these friends are making you better as a person. And one last thing I want to bring up before we dive into each of our top three favorite friendship movies is in my quote, unquote research for this episode, I was just having a hard time thinking of the full spectrum of friendship movies, and one that kept coming up, and it kind of ages me by revealing is the movie beaches. Have you ever seen beaches with Bette Midler.
Robin (23:01):
I haven't, I haven't. I watched it a while ago,
Deborah (23:04):
and it came up under the theme of like bitter, sweet endings. And the thing about beaches, if you have never seen it, these girls meet when they're really little, and Bette Midler goes on to be very famous in the movie and still maintains kind of a long distance friendship with a girl that she met when she was a child. But they have a long period of time where they weren't in each other's lives, and then they kind of reconnected when Bette Midler was famous, going through ups and downs of fame, and the other one was going through ups and downs of a divorce, and it has, like the saddest ending. It's known for being like a tear jerker movie, because spoiler. I mean, it's been like, 40 years, so I don't mind spoiling it. But the other actress, I can't remember her name, she gets diagnosed with a terminal illness, and then Bette Midler, character drops everything to like, be with her when she dies. Like, I think there's like, a kid involved, and it's like, carrying on the legacy for the kid. And then this is where we get the Bette Midler song. You are the wind beneath my wings. That's like, where that song
Robin (24:16):
from? I didn't know that. Yeah,
Deborah (24:20):
yeah. So if you want a good cry and like a good bittersweet, truly friends to the end, type of movie, it is beaches. There you
Robin (24:28):
go. Oh my gosh. Okay, I'll check it out, man. Okay, so that's
Deborah (24:32):
basically the premise of a good friendship movie. So without further ado, Robin, I want to know break down your top three in no particular order. Mine are not ranked three favorite friendship movies of all time.
Robin (24:44):
This is in no particular order. First of all, I gotta go straight to bridesmaids. Of course, of course. If you haven't seen bridesmaids, drop everything and go watch bridesmaids. Like this movie. It came out in 2011 I think. Mm, hmm. Yeah, it's timeless. Every time I watch it, I love it. It makes me laugh. It's so
Deborah (25:07):
relatable. Oh my god, so relatable.
Robin (25:10):
If you watch this film and you can't relate to it, like you don't have friends,
Deborah (25:15):
I'm convinced of that. And there's even a diarrhea scene that movie made me laugh so hard in the movie theater. I saw it at the Alamo Drafthouse. And if you're not familiar at the Alamo, you know they will serve you food and beverages. And so it was a combination of like eating and then like drinking beer. But I laughed so hard at that movie I thought I was going to throw up, because I was, like, full, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I was laughing so hard that I was like, I actually might throw up in this theater, like that very, very last scene before the credits where it like, cuts to the home video, I'll just say, oh my god, I laughed. I really thought I was gonna pass out laughing, but you're so right in that that movie is so relatable, and we've talked about this before, when you're in a different stage of life, as your best friend, it is so hard. I remember one of my best friends got married pretty young, like 23 and our 23 year old lives could not have been more different. At that time, she had bought a home. She was getting married, she got a job in her field, like right after graduation, living in a new city, and I was living in a dead man's apartment, literally, well, I got the apartment because someone had died and they didn't really have a next of kin. And when I saw the apartment there all this stuff, we're gonna get rid of it. Unfortunately, the tenant passed away, and I was like, hey, if I put a deposit today, can I just keep all of this furniture? Because I actually have no money, and that way you don't have to clean it out, and then I would have a desk and a table. So this is like where I'm at in life, literally barely able to afford $400 a month rent in Dayton, Ohio, eating French green beans from a can, and like being asked to be that maid of honor. I felt the same strife as Kristen Wiig did, of like, how am I going to afford this? How am I going to pay for all these things? I am so happy for you, but holy shit, I feel like
(27:36):
the biggest f up ever in this position right now. So by the time I had watched the movie, I had just gotten married, so it was in a very different place in life. But man, I recall those early days oflike, when you just feel like, wow, your life is going really well, and mine is actually like, I am spiraling right now. That's great, yeah,
Robin (27:56):
well, and that's, you know, you surround yourself with the people you aspire to be like, right? Yeah, so it's okay that maybe you're not doing as well as them. They're gonna get you there. They're gonna lead the way. Yeah, that's how I try to think about it. But it is really hard to not be self deprecating when you're going through the loss of a business, the loss of your income, you have to move back in with your mom, like she is going through it when her friend asked her to be yes a bridesmaid. Yes, yeah. Like, it's okay to have multiple best friends, but it's also really hard to feel like you're not the more liked friend, yeah, and you're nothing like the other friend. So you're like, how do I even compete with that? And that's what was fun to watch for me, because we've all definitely been in some kind of scenario like that, where our best friend has another friend that we're not friends with. Yes, yes, and we we don't know how to be friends with them. Yeah, it's hard.
Deborah (28:58):
Yes. That scene where they go to play tennis, I think perfectly encapsulates that of just like, you know, your common ground is that friend. So you, in theory, would really get along, but in reality, there's like jealousy, and guards are up on like both ends, and oh my gosh, I've been there.
Robin (29:19):
Seth has me watching Cougar Town for the first time. Oh, wow. Okay, I've never seen Cougar Town and Courtney Cox's character, her two best friends, hate each other. They could not be more different, but they realize something that they have in common is that if you fuck with our friend, we'll fuck you up. There you go. And that's what they told her, like, Look, don't worry about us getting along. We're here for you, and I love that, yeah? Like, whatever, yeah. We don't have to be best friends just because we have the same best friend.
Deborah (29:54):
So bridesmaids, absolutely I agree with that pick. I would have taken it for mine if I could. So, death. Neatly stamp of approval there.
Robin (30:01):
I'm gonna follow up bridesmaids with another favorite called wine country, who has a similar crew as bridesmaids. Maya Rudolph is in this film. Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, actually, the reason why I love this movie so much is that it's very reminiscent of our friendship from working at faudo. They're friends because they worked at a piece of shop together in their early 20s. Oh, so one of them is about to turn 50, and the planner of the group, aka me, Amy Poehler, plans this itinerary for wine trip to Napa Valley with all the girls to celebrate her birthday. This Rachel Dratch is character, gotcha, yeah. So you get to hear things from when they work together, but like, then you see, like, all the different stages that everyone is at in life. It's not the same. Like one woman is hyper focused on her business, like she's not even, like, invested in the weekend. And this movie was so relatable to me, just in the sense of, like, our group of friends, I felt like if we went on a trip when one of us turns 50, it might go something like that, minus as much drama. I just don't see us fighting that much. But yeah, like, the key theme is just middle aged friendship and how friendships evolve over time, and then they throw aging into there, which we're not quite there yet. And that's another reason why I like it, because it's like, okay, this is like something ahead of me, yeah?
Deborah (31:31):
What to look forward to? Maybe, maybe not look forward
Robin (31:34):
to. Or, you know, we're already doing what they did this one time. They plan this wine trip. We plan trips every year. Yeah, yeah. We stay connected. I don't think they all stay as connected. You know what I mean? I've
Deborah (31:48):
never seen this movie. It's been recommended to me so many times. Our friend Ashley has recommended it so many times. So maybe, you know, maybe I'll put it on tonight. I think
Robin (32:00):
it came out during COVID too. Okay, so it was even more nostalgic feeling just because I couldn't see any of my friends.
Deborah (32:09):
Yeah, so basically, this movie has everything that I want and love and I need to watch it. Yeah, yeah, perfect.
Robin (32:16):
I love it. It's great. I'm having so much fun talking about this because I'm remembering these movies that I love, and I haven't watched them in a while. Yeah, so my third movie, these are all like, quite different from each other, when you think about it, this third movie I touched on it earlier. It's called someone great, and it takes place in New York. The main character, her name's Jenny. She's a journalist. She gets offered her dream job in San Francisco, and at the same time, she's dealing with a painful breakup of nine years from her boyfriend. And so that's this whole movie. She's like, I'm leaving town. I need to send off with my girls. And so it's the Turner, two best friends on an adventure in New York City. And you know, her friends are dealing with their stuff too, while they're trying to support her, that's real life. Yeah, you know these friends, they're dealing with their own shit, but they're also trying to show up for someone who really needs them, and it's watching them find that balance and work through their own problems simultaneously. It's hard. Life is hard. Life is hard, and friendship anchors us during these major life transitions in a way other relationships, don't? You know? I don't know. Yeah, this movie was so relatable to me at the time that it came out, because it was the same time frame that my ex and I of three and a half years broke up, so I very much had that same feeling of, like, I have to rediscover myself. I don't know who I am anymore, and I wholly relied on my friends, like, get me out of that funk and figure out a new path. And so I watched this movie several times when it first came out.
Deborah (33:57):
I'm gonna have to add that one to the list. You know, you and I had talked about this movie briefly, and I had never even heard of it. So I love the spectrum of your movies, because we got one that would be on my top movie. The second one is I've been wanting to watch and just have not made the time for myself to watch it. And the third one is brand new. And I love the premise of all three of those movies, because, again, the central theme is like your friends are going to carry you through these difficult times, and they're going to be there for you in great times like your 50th birthday or in really hard times like the end of a significant relationship. So great spectrum of movies. Robin,
Robin (34:38):
thanks. Tell me about your favorites.
Deborah (34:41):
Okay, I'm excited to talk about this first one because Robin, I know you watched it for the first time last night. I did, but I cannot talk about friendship movies without talking about Thelma and Louise. Tell me why. You know, it's a movie I watched when I was really young. I saw it when i. Was like, I think going into sixth grade, I flew out to see my grandmother in California, and she was like, let's watch a movie tonight, and popped it in, maybe without realizing what we were about to watch.
Robin (35:16):
It's quite a movie for a six year old to watch. Well, that's six
Deborah (35:20):
and I was going into sixth grade. Oh, yeah, that would be horrifying, but on the eve of adolescence, for sure enough to know what a sex scene is. And boy is there a sex scene in this movie? Boy is there? She didn't even do the whole like, Ah, she didn't know what to do. She'll like, fast forward or pause it. We both just sort of just pretend it's not happening. Pretended it wasn't happening. No eye contact. Anyway, I saw it at a young age. It was seared in my brain. Saw it a few times after, and then it never really crossed my mind. A few years ago, I made the dumbest purchase of my entire life. I decided to go on a solo trip to Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. Okay, you're like, why is that a dumb idea, because I booked this trip for early November, which is not in season for Hilton Head, which is probably why the tickets round trip were like $100 and it monsoon the entire time I was there. So I literally spent money, and now I also rented a Jeep Wrangler in my brain, I was going to Hilton Head. This was right after I got divorced. I was gonna have
Robin (36:28):
a me weekend, little self discovery. Weekend,
Deborah (36:31):
self discovery Stella Got Her Groove Back. Weekend, I was gonna, like, read on the beach. I was gonna write. I bought a new journal to write again, and it monsoon the entire time. So I basically flew to Hilton Head to do what I do at home, which is, at that time, drink alone and watch movies inside. So during that weekend, I think maybe it was on one of the network stations, and I was like, Man, this is such a great movie again, because you've got these two characters in very different places in life. Susan Sarandon is very like strong willed, and she won't marry her boyfriend. And then you have a housewife in Thelma, aka Gina Davis, who she wanted to marry him. I see I thought she was like giving him the stiff arm.
Robin (37:19):
No, she's given him the stiff arm, because there was a moment where she said, Jimmy, do you love me? And he paused, and he was like, yeah,
Deborah (37:29):
yeah. Good point. Good point. I think
Robin (37:31):
she just realized he wasn't ever gonna be the guy that she needed him to be. Good point, but she loved him anyway. True,
Deborah (37:37):
very true. Both of them are in complicated relationships with men. Let's just say, yeah, yeah. So what makes this movie so great is, you know, it's supposed to just be a girl's weekend getaway, which is even hard for Thelma to do, because her boyfriend is a controlling asshole, basically, her husband, her husband, that's right, her husband is an asshole. On the first night stop, they go to a bar and Thelma gets wasted and trigger warning, she is sexually assaulted in the parking lot. And when Louise, Susan Sarandon character, sees this, she has a gun and she kills the attacker. They just make one bad decision after another. After this, this could easily have been resolved, but they make the decision that they need to get out of there and just be fugitives of the law. So this starts off a cross country road trip. What I love about this movie is that I feel like it's a gender neutral action movie. You know what? I mean, like, it's great to relate to these female characters, but I would be hard pressed to find a man who wasn't equally as invested in this story. I mean, it has everything. You know, they've got narrow escapes from the cops. They're trying to throw off the scent. They make more bad decisions. They
Robin (38:59):
blow up a semi. They blow up a semi.
Deborah (39:03):
And, you know, Brad Pitt is in this movie. And Brad Pitt has, oh my gosh, this is like early heartthrob days of Brad Pitt, the hottest he may have ever looked in a movie other than Fight Club. But this is like young Brad Pitt. And you know, if you have not seen this movie, I'm gonna have a major spoiler. You've had decades to watch it, so I'm sorry, but it culminates to a high speed chase with the police. They literally have them surrounded, and they're in their Cadillac with the top down, and they decide we're gonna keep going. And keep going means they are literally going to drive off a cliff. And the last shot is just that still of them in the air in the car, iconic and like a flashback of all the fun that they had. And obviously, like this is a very dark ending. For that movie, but I just feel like it was so badass. I just love the way that they're there for each other. And you and I were texting last night, Robin, as you were watching it, Robin, watched it for the first time last night. So Robin, I'm gonna give you the floor. I wanna know your thoughts on this movie.
Robin (40:15):
I wouldn't put it in my top three. Okay, all right, that's fine. Let me tell you why, apart from what I've already said, the bad decisions really started to bother me. And even though I understood the decision making, like Louise got them out of that situation, because you find out that she was raped, and people probably didn't believe her. Yeah, she never talks about it, so you don't know the full story, but she made a decision to flee the scene based on her own experience, right? I understand that Thelma legit acts like she is mentally impaired half the time, and I get it because she's been this housewife for however many years, she hasn't been able to leave the house very sheltered. She doesn't have other friends. She doesn't ever get to do anything for herself, but she was acting like a child, straight up, and she got on my nerves. Yeah, you left that much money on a table right next to the bed while a stranger's in that room, and then you left him alone with it. She's so trusting, and I'm so not. So it's really just hard to identify with her thought process. She just doesn't think about anything beyond what's right in front of her. Yeah, yes, and that was driving Luis up the wall too. I was right there with you, Luis, but
Deborah (41:44):
And you and I were texting about this last night. Louise's patience for this friend, I think, shows her level of loyalty. Because, honestly, she could have been like, you know what? You're on your own. I'm leaving you. You made your bed. Go lie in it. I'm done. And she never abandoned her. You know, she obviously was upset and would lash out, but she was always of a sound mind to say, well, we can't undo what you just did, so now we have to pivot. Now we got to figure something out. Her ability to keep figuring things out, albeit their decisions led to their demise, I think, to not have make Thelma feel even worse about the dumb decision she made. I think, is another reason that I love that movie, because in spite of true these really stressful circumstances, you know, she was going to be in it with her no matter what,
Robin (42:39):
that's a good point. That's a good point. She was a good friend, but mania
Deborah (42:44):
is another way to describe the last act of that movie. I mean, pure
Robin (42:48):
mania. Yeah, it didn't have to end that way. I know. I know it stayed
Deborah (42:53):
with me for so long. The ending of that movie really, really stayed with me, and you're heartbroken, but that was really the only way that that situation was gonna go. Well, it's
Robin (43:04):
like you finally escaped these miserable lives that you were leading, but you escaped it in such a way that you walked right into maybe they wouldn't call this something worse, but I don't know, like, I love that they found themselves in this adventure. I just wish they could have applied it to the rest of their lives.
Deborah (43:25):
I know it's tragic. It's tragic. Yeah, that's
Robin (43:28):
what bothered me, like I wanted them to move forward with these new versions of themselves, where they run the show and call the shots. I mean, I get it. What could have been, I think, is what hurts. I totally get
Deborah (43:44):
it. I completely understand for me, I love films that have the unexpected. You know what I mean. And I would have never expected a movie about two women on the run to have ended that way. True. So for me, that's why I just think it's a badass movie. So that is one of my top three the second one. As I started thinking about Geena Davis, I was like, how do we not talk about A League of Their Own? I mean, I grew up on a league of their own. We certainly didn't own it, but maybe one of our friends had the VHS. I think we ran a hole in that film, because we watched it so many times. I mean, just the camaraderie of the teams you have, like the sister dynamic, you know, which is always kind of tense, you've got Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell, what a pair. What a pair,
Robin (44:40):
what a pair. So
Deborah (44:41):
great, so good. And, you know, obviously you've got the excitement of baseball and just again, the badass nature of them, you know, filling in for the men while the men are at war. You have that heartbreaking scene where one of the women finds out that she lost her husband. Oh, I think I would cry while. Watching that right now. It is so sad, and the way that they're there for her. But to me, the part that kills me is the end of that movie, when they're all older
Robin (45:12):
and they return. That's my favorite part. It's the
Deborah (45:15):
best part, you know, and they're like, with their families and their grandkids, that scene. I'm like, getting choked up now thinking about it, it's just I'm a big nostalgic person, and everybody has that time period in their life. That's the golden years. I just, like, think about us when we're older and we're gray and we're always going to be talking about that time in our 20s. Do you know what I mean? And so league of their own. Oof loved it now, hot take, I did not like the TV. Adoption of a league of their own. I don't know if you saw it
Robin (45:52):
recently. I never saw it. No,
Deborah (45:55):
I think it was on HBO. Max had all of the elements on paper, but it lost that friendship being the central storyline. So I was really hoping I would like love it as much as the movie. But unfortunately, I'm sad to say, I did not, but league of their own, pitch perfect movie. See what I did there. Pitch because of the baseball. Oh,
Robin (46:18):
I was thinking of the movie, Pitch Perfect. Oh, that's a honorable
Deborah (46:22):
mention. Yeah. Honorable Mention friendship movie. It
Robin (46:25):
really is, yeah, yeah. I agree. Pitch Perfect. Final
Deborah (46:29):
one is another classic. I feel so old making this list because none of mine were as recent as yours, but it came to me late last night. How could we not talk about stale magdalenas, which Robin
Robin (46:39):
I have not seen. Cannot believe that. I'm sorry. It
Deborah (46:43):
is an old movie at this point. You know what I mean? Like, it is definitely, I mean, what was it in the 80s, early 90s, when that came out, Julia Roberts was so young, it was, like, maybe her first movie. I think
Robin (46:54):
it was 1991 Yeah. Okay, that tracks only because I was just reading about it today. I think it came out the same year as fried green tomatoes,
Deborah (47:06):
another honorable mention for friendship movies, friendship slash, did they love each other? I think they loved each other. It was heavily implied, but yeah, Steel Magnolias, I love it because it's got all these cross generational friendships, because it basically centers around this small town, and there is the local hair place, you know, that kind of serves as like a central location, but it spans through the years as Sally Field is not raising her daughter, but her daughter is Julia Roberts, and Julia Roberts is getting married, so she's, like, leaving the house, and it kind of spans the course of maybe, like, five to 10 years, okay? And Julia Roberts has diabetes, which, at this time, diabetes, I think, was, like, a really big deal. Like, we didn't really have the type of modern medicine readily available, so it was a really big deal. And there's a few scenes where she's, like, having insulin seizures, and it's very scary. Oh, do you know anything about the like, oh, Robin, I'm not gonna tell you. Okay. I'm not gonna tell you, because you just have to watch it. Okay? And when I tell you that I could cry my eyelashes off to this movie.
Robin (48:25):
Oh, now I'm scared to watch it. I don't want to cry.
Deborah (48:29):
This is one of those cry porn movies. You know what I mean, where, like, you need to kind of get out a certain emotion, so, like, you put on a movie that you know is really just going to hit you in the gut. This is that movie.
Robin (48:41):
Does it make you cry in a good way or bad way?
Deborah (48:45):
I mean, both okay. I cannot believe that you There's so much I want to say, but I also really want you to watch it because it is a beautiful movie of enduring friendships and women being there for each other in spite of their differences, and really overcoming a lot of hard things. And I believe in the book, you know, it's called Steel Magnolias, because, like, they're these beautiful women, but they're made of steel. I love that. They're so resilient. They're so strong. They each really endure a lot. You gotta watch it, man. I'm just picturing someone listening to this being like, I can't believe she doesn't know how this movie ends. So, like, I don't even want you to look anything up. Okay, but you gotta do it. You gotta do it all right,
Robin (49:33):
wow. So your top three was from before the 2000s and my top three was after the 2000s this is a really nice range for all of our listeners.
Deborah (49:43):
It is a good range 100% so tell us what we missed. What movies would you add to that list? We want to hear your favorite friendship duos in a movie. And you know what? We didn't even really talk about boy movies that much, but there's so many boy friendship movies as well. I want to know them all. Send us your. Feedback at art of classiness@gmail.com and maybe we'll read it on the air. Yeah. Okay, so while today's episode was about friendship movies, there are so many great characters and television shows that we were wondering who would make the best friend to us. So our bracket today is, will you be my best friend? And I'm gonna list two fictional television characters, and Robin is going to whittle them down and let us know who would be the ultimate fictional friend. Okay, are you ready? Yeah, I'm excited. I know this was hard to narrow down. There were so many characters I wanted to add on here, and I tried to make it wide ranging enough for shows that most people would be familiar with. So here we go. First up, Alexis rose from shits Creek, or Monica Geller from friends. They're
Robin (50:56):
so different. The version of Alexis at the end of shits Creek is somebody that I would want to be friends with.
Deborah (51:05):
Great Call, great call. I think I would probably say the same thing. I feel like I would disappoint Monica all the time.
Robin (51:13):
That's the thing. Monica would always be upset with me. Yeah,
Deborah (51:17):
yeah, yeah. Okay. Two from the same show here, Christina Yang or Meredith Gray, both from Gray's Anatomy. Meredith Gray, really, Christina is intense. Mm, hmm, yeah,
Robin (51:32):
hard to love. You know, I did stop watching the show at a certain point, so maybe I didn't see what their friendship progressed into. But what I did see was that Christina isn't a good friend to anybody. Christina is only out for Christina, like Meredith, is the only person she makes an exception for. And I don't know, what do you think? I
Deborah (51:54):
think that's a fair they're both very closed off. Yeah, you know, and I will say it doesn't seem like they develop great friendships with anybody else other than each other. So they're both cats, they're both cats. They are both cats, and you need a golden retriever, yeah? Okay. Meredith, it is okay. Abby Abrams from Broad City, or Alana Wechsler from Broad City, okay?
Robin (52:21):
Ilana is a mess. They're both messes, but Ilana is a whole other level. I'm gonna say Abby. Good
Deborah (52:28):
call. If I were to choose which one I relate to more, it's definitely Abby. I feel like I'm an Abby for sure. Yeah, me too, Abby. It is. What a show. Great. Great show. So good. All right? Samantha Jones from Sex in the City, or Robin chrobotsky from How I Met Your Mother.
Robin (52:47):
I love both of them. I'm gonna go with Robin because I I've just watched How I Met Your Mother so many times. And yeah, I really do want to be friends with Robin chrobotsky, yeah, and she's Canadian. She's lived so many lives. I love her stories. Like her dad used to treat her like a boy, yeah, then she was a teenage pop star all the things, yeah,
Deborah (53:15):
good choice. I would choose Robin too, okay, Jess day from New Girl, or Leslie nope from Parks and Rec. Why would you do this to me? I know this is a hard one. They're
Robin (53:27):
two of my favorite female characters on TV. Oh my gosh. Okay, Leslie nope,
Deborah (53:34):
good choice, good choice. I mean, there's really no bad choice, yeah. But Leslie Nope. Would be a great friend. Period.
Robin (53:43):
She's a queen. She's the friend that I aspire to be.
Yes, I
Deborah (53:48):
want to be as thoughtful as she is. Great point, great point, okay, Lily from How I Met Your Mother, or Pam Beasley from the office. Lily, I would say the same. I love Pam, but we didn't really get to see her with female friendships. I think they kind of robbed her of that opportunity in the show. I mean, she didn't really have a whole lot to choose from, but we don't really know what kind of friend she would be. So I agree, Lily, it is okay. Throw back Jesse Spano from say by the bell, or Topanga Lawrence from Boy Meets worlds.
Robin (54:27):
I'm gonna go with Topanga. Jessie Spano, she was my least favorite character on say by the bell. Yeah.
Deborah (54:35):
What is that stripper movie that she did? Show girls, show girls, show girls. I feel like showgirls is actually what Jesse Spano would have become, because she would have burnt out in college really quickly. Too much, no dose, too much. No dose, too much pressure, and she would have high tailed it to Vegas. But man, showgirls is such a great campy. Watch. It's so bad. There was a period of time where they would play showgirls on VH one, and in order to do that, they had animations over their naked body, poorly done animations. What kind
Robin (55:17):
of animations to cover up their nipples. But what were they? Just, like, blurbs?
Deborah (55:23):
No, it would be like a bra, like an animated bra, oh, like an emoji. Yes, I'm not kidding, and they will work on VH one, but just, like, edited with, like, the animations and, like, really bad dubs over all the swearing, and that's how I first watched it. And it is so bad, it's so bad, it's good. Okay. So Topanga Lawrence, it is okay. Last two, Elaine Bennis from Seinfeld, or Daria Morgan dorfer from the show Daria, ooh,
Robin (55:55):
we okay. I used to love Daria, la,
Deborah (56:00):
la, la, la, la, so good. I love
Robin (56:04):
Elaine, too. We've been slowly watching Seinfeld. It's one of the stuff before bed shows I'm gonna go with Daria. Wow. Okay. It's nostalgia for me when I watched it when I was a teenager, like I really identified with her, and I wanted to be friends with her. She reminds me a lot of my sister. So, yeah,
Deborah (56:26):
okay, well, let's start eliminating some more people now there. This is going to be interesting, because a lot of these personality types are not going to match with each other. But here we go, Alexis rose, or Meredith gray. Alexis, 100% I knew Meredith wasn't going to make it past the second round. No, okay, Abby Abrams from Broad City, or Robin shabotsky. This
Robin (56:49):
one is tough. The reasoning, the breakdown, I don't have it. I just like they're both cool. I would love They both live in New York, in the shows, like they run into the same kind of New York situation. Ships, I'm gonna go with Robin,
Deborah (57:06):
okay, oh, I'm sad to see Abby go. Me
Robin (57:10):
too. I love you, Abby, I really do. Okay,
Deborah (57:13):
I this is also gonna be tough. Leslie, nope, or Lily from How I Met Your Mother,
Robin (57:19):
this is not hard for me. Leslie, nope. Okay, there you
Deborah (57:23):
go. Topanga, Lawrence or Daria. Daria, wow. Okay, all right, now we got the Final Four. Alexis, rose or Robin. Shabbat ski, oh, man, Robin, I already know what the final two is going to be, but I'm going to ask anyway, Leslie, nope, or Daria. Leslie, yeah. I mean, sorry, Daria, you didn't stand a chance in that matchup. Here we go. Robin shabotsky or Leslie Knope to be your fictional best friend. It's
Robin (57:58):
a tough choice, because I really would love to be friends with either of them, but I'm gonna go Leslie. Nope. She is my idol. Yep, ding, ding, ding, ding. Honestly, before this bracket, I could have told you she was gonna win, but I did try to, like, not think of it that way. Yeah, you try to be objective. She's an icon. She
Deborah (58:18):
is an icon. She's never gonna forget your birthday. She's always gonna curate galentines. She knows what you want before you want it. And I agree. I
Robin (58:30):
do feel like I am her on a smaller scale. Yeah, I'm the person that texts in the group chat Happy birthday. I get everybody to send our friends like gifts and flowers. Yes, I'm just always thinking about other people. You really are. I want everyone to feel special, and so does Leslie, nope,
Deborah (58:50):
I will say, Robin, everybody deserves a friend like you. 100% stand by that. That's so nice. I could honestly cry saying it. It's so true. You always remember birthdays. You're always making sure that we remember big milestones in other people's life. Robin is there for her people big time. But I think that's just your nature. You give a lot. You give and give a lot. I
Robin (59:18):
give a lot, and I've learned to not give to people who don't give back. It's Yes, a lifelong lesson.
Deborah (59:26):
Let's wrap this up with, is it classy? Our classy scenario, and this one's kind of a spicy one. Okay, are you ready? I'm ready. Is it classy to uninvite a friend from an event because they don't get along with someone else you invited.
Robin (59:44):
No, it's not classy. I agree. The classy thing to do is to inform both friends, like, Hey, I know you and so and so. Don't get along, but they are going to be there. Come or don't come. But also, don't cause drama. Stay on the other side of the room. You know, it's just like what I was talking about with Cougar Town, these two women love the same person, but they don't like each other. And she's like, Y'all need to figure this out on your own. Stop making it my problem.
Deborah (01:00:11):
Yeah. And I will go a step further and say it is not classy to ask your friends to take sides. No, it's one thing if you're talking about a breakup, right? And you're like, hey, I don't really want to be around that ex, you know, obviously there's dicey situations with ex boyfriends, but it is so unclassy. I think to make your shit somebody else's shit, you know, totally and I think people need to give each other grace when you have a fallout with someone that it's not necessarily fair for everyone else to join and take sides. Now, having been in that not necessarily position before, but it is hard when you see something terrible about someone, and other people can't see it, and they are still hanging out with someone who's problematic, and you're just like, I don't know why. I can understand the frustration, but it is not classy to ask people to take sides in friendship fallouts, in my opinion. You know, no you can have every right to cut somebody out of your life. You can't make that decision for somebody else. They have to come to that conclusion for themselves exactly,
Robin (01:01:23):
and we're all adults here. It's okay to not get along with somebody. It's okay to accept that. It's okay to accept that you're never gonna be friends. You could still be cordial.
Deborah (01:01:34):
Yeah, I think we are lucky enough to just have a low drama friend group, which I'm very grateful for, at least now, at least now, in our hot mess early 20s, there's definitely some revolving door friends that you know came and went because they were crazy, but they saw themselves out. So, you know, it all works out.
Robin (01:02:00):
They sold themselves out. That's true. They really
Deborah (01:02:03):
did. They really did. So in conclusion, no, it is not classy to uninvite someone from a party just because they don't get along with someone else. Work out your shit. Be an adult,
Robin (01:02:13):
make both parties aware, inform them and let them make their own decisions. That's all
you can do. That's the classy thing to do. That is, and that's the final word on Class, Class dismissed. That was perfection. Was it? Class dismissed. Love it. Love it.
Deborah (01:02:35):
All right, let's drain this tub. Robin, this has been so much fun talking about our favorite friendship flicks, and I have nothing else, do you?
Robin (01:02:44):
I don't have anything else except classy is a state of mind.
Deborah (01:02:48):
Mind your classiness. Everybody. Goodbye,
Robin (01:02:51):
goodbye.
Music.
Robin (00:09):
Welcome to the Art of classiness podcast, a show where we redefine what it means to be a classy lady and sometimes it's messy. I'm Robin
Deborah (00:17):
and I'm Deborah, two friends turned classy ladies who are here to discuss life's ups and downs, navigating the complexities of adulthood and how the gift of friendship is essential to belonging. Today,
Robin (00:28):
we're diving into our favorite friendship flicks. We'll explore what truly makes a movie a friendship movie, share our all time favorite pics and even decide which fictional character we'd want as our BFF.
Deborah (00:40):
So follow along. Give us your feedback, and don't forget to like and subscribe. What's up? Classy Ladies and classy gentlemen, Hi, Hi, Robin. How are you? You know what I am? Well, I am here. We are still in the month of January, slugging through. I haven't seen the sun, and I don't remember how long,
Robin (01:01):
oh my gosh, I feel so bad for you. I know it's very sunny here today, every day, I have a story for you, please share. So I live around the corner from one of my best friends, Tiffany. She and her husband, they have two dogs, so we go over there with Penny. Sometimes they haven't seen Penny do the stern game. Yeah, she's getting really good at it. She is like a drug dog at this point. Tiffany's husband is an ex Davy seal, so he has experience working with really intelligent dogs, you know, searching for IEDs and stuff like that. I was like, Hey, Jay, you want to see Penny play the surfing game? He's like, what's that? I was like, Well, let me show you. So I didn't have our normal gear with us, so I just saw, like, this tube of lotion, which I haven't done anything like that with Penny, so I didn't know if it would actually work. I just unscrewed it, I put some on my finger, and I told her to smell it, and then I just hid the whole tube under a blanket, and she freaking found it. And when she finds it, she sits so she found it, then she acknowledged that she found it. Wow. Actually, my mind was a little blown too. She'd never smelled this lotion before. I wasn't sure like if it smelled like other things in their house. Nope, she found it so fast.
Deborah (02:23):
Wow, it's wild. We need to get Penny a job. She has a job. She's my baby girl, I know, but for income, oh, should rent her services out.
Robin (02:34):
You know, they have a mold dog here in Texas. What is that? A dog that goes into houses to smell mold, like in the walls and stuff. Oh, because sometimes the tests aren't as reliable. This dog finds it every time. And so I follow the guy on Instagram. He'll show them practicing it at home. That's what inspired me to start trading penny.
Deborah (02:55):
Oh my gosh, that's so cool and so helpful. So what do you see being the next thing that you train her what to smell for? Because I know the goal or initial thought was gluten, gluten. But are there other things that you're like, maybe curious to see if she can smell? Yeah,
Robin (03:13):
it's got me thinking about a lot more with gluten. There's another step we need to take with that and that she needs to identify gluten in food. So she only knows the scent of gluten right now, we're just playing with that. I'm not sure how to approach that, because you put food in front of her face, she's gonna be like, do I eat this? Yeah, yeah. So I don't know. Like wrapping foil around something and poking holes, I'm not sure. So figuring that out is something that's been on my mind. But also I want to start scent training her outdoors, because there's a lot more going on outside. Yeah, for sure, there's a lot more distractions, a lot more smells. So I wonder where we need to get with her indoors before we like, transition outdoors. That's what I've been mainly thinking about. But now that I've determined that she can identify a scent after being presented with it, I don't even like I feel like I need to get some books, yeah, because that's not something you teach. That is the German Shepherd in her deciphering like she smells everything. It's nose first. I think that it's nose first for dogs in general, but like, she has a very strong sense of smell, so I want to nurture that.
Deborah (04:32):
Yeah, yeah. That's so amazing. This is, like, it wasn't a dog, it was an actual woman. I don't know if you've ever heard this story was on an episode of I believe radio Lab, which is a fantastic radio show slash podcast. And this woman had been married to her husband for decades, and she said that all of a sudden he started smelling repulsive to her, like a very disgusting. Smell like rancid. And she would get on him like, you know, you need to shower more. She would like, buy him soap. She would ask him to, like, change his laundry. She almost got to a point where she couldn't be around him, and for some reason, they were, I can't remember the order of the events, whether or not he was diagnosed with Parkinson's first, or they realized that he had Parkinson's because they went to a Parkinson's support group, and she was completely overwhelmed with that smell.
Robin (05:33):
I think I've read this story that is insane,
Deborah (05:37):
yes, and she realized that she could smell Parkinson's crazy, crazy that
Robin (05:44):
is so insane. So yeah, what was the classiest thing you saw this week?
Deborah (05:49):
Well, I should preface it by saying I have not seen a whole lot of anything in the past week, because we are very much in winter. It is super cold outside. I think it was as low as like 12 degrees earlier this week, and about once a month I need an entire day where I don't leave my house and like, speak to no one and have no human interaction. It's usually also the day I like catch up on all my house chores because my schedule is very much jam packed sun up to sundown. My kids go to their fathers Thursday, and I'm in a relationship. And, you know, obviously we see each other, not just because I'm not with my kids, because he obviously has been around my kids, but our schedule without our kids are the same, so I have, like, no time to myself, so I have to carve out that time. It's your fill your cup day, right? It's my fill my cup day. So this past Saturday was my fill my cup day. And like I said, normally, I like to interact with nobody in real life whatsoever during these times. But it'd been a while since I connected with my best friend, Leah, who lives in Charlotte. And I was like, you know, even though no part of me actually wants to engage with a human right now, like, I know this is the only day I have in the foreseeable future to, like, catch up. So I gave her a call, and it was one of those, like, we were on the phone, on and off for like, two hours. I swear to God, it was one of those, like, calling and she was like, running errands. So she's like, let me call you back. I gotta return something. And then I'm like, she's probably not gonna call me back. I didn't hold her on the hook to, like, actually call me back, calls me back. We talked for another period of time, and then she's like, Hold on, I gotta drop my son off. I'm like, Okay, at this point I feel psychologically fulfilled. Nope, cause we actually talked for like another 30 minutes, like, literally spent so much time just catching up about this, that and the other. And I really
(07:52):
give her credit, because communicating over the phone is, I don't want to call of love language, but it's very much her style of connection. She is that friend that you're like, Okay, I really, Igotta go. I'm like, walking into the office, and she's like, okay, okay, okay, but wait really quick. Did you see that so and so and so and so? And I'm like, this is an entirely new conversation, like she could stay on the phone forever, and I can't always do that, either emotionally or, you know, because of my time constraints. So it was really nice to just have that open window and catch up. And, you know, it's really hard to just have long conversations with friends these days. So really grateful to have done that, especially
Robin (08:34):
on the phone, especially on the phone. I called a friend recently, and in my mind, I was like, I'm gonna call her and she's gonna be so happy to hear from me, and it's going to be joyful. She picks up the phone, and she was like, Why are you calling me
out? And I was like, This
is not what I expected from you. And she's like, you know, I hate talking on the phone, my gosh. And I was like, I forgot about that fact, I was just so excited to call you, I didn't think about yourfeelings. No, it was about me. It was just really funny. Why are you calling me? Like I get that. I feel that, especially these days, people don't like talking on the phone. Yeah, it's not for everyone, but we do have those few friends where you can just go off. I have a friend like that where we schedule calls and we'll talk for like, two hours.
Deborah (09:25):
That's so great scheduling it is very smart, because not to, like, pivot into a dark area. But last year, our group of friends suffered just a lot of tragedy, I'll just say. And there was a period of time when a friend called me, my heart dropped, because you didn't know what bad news was going to happen, and we just unfortunately went through a few months in a row. It was like if we heard from friends, it was usually coupled with bad news. So in order to sort of break. Take that neural pathway in your brain. I think we should just intermittently start calling each other again, yeah, to, like, re associate our brains with, like, No, it's good news. Or, like, No, I just want to see how you're doing. Like, I remember one time Lauren, I think either called me or I called her and we were like, everything's okay. That was the first thing that we had to say on the phone. So yes, I think scheduling calls alleviates any of that anxiety if you've been in that situation. Well, what about you, Robin? What was the classiest thing that you saw? So
Robin (10:34):
I've lived in this neighborhood for six years. Oh, wow. And throughout that time, I always see this woman in the morning with her little trash bag and a little trash picker upper thingy, little clip thing, yeah, and she just goes for her walks in the neighborhood, picking up trash. Oh, she's done it for years. Like, I see her all the time, like it's, you could tell it's just part of her routine. I'm gonna go for my walk. I'm gonna pick up some trash and go on with the rest of my day. And I just think that's super classy, keeping our neighborhood clean.
Deborah (11:11):
That is so classy. You know, who also does that? You're not gonna know who also does that. Oh. David Sedaris, are you familiar with David Sedaris, yeah, for those of you who don't know, he is a very, very funny writer. He writes for The New Yorker. He's done many books. So David Sedaris lives in the UK, and he also started going around picking up trash, and the city that he lives in named the garbage truck after him as a token of appreciation for the work that he does for the
Robin (11:47):
city. Wait, did they name it David Sedaris, or did they just name it David? I
Deborah (11:51):
believe they named it his full name. You have to David is too common. All right. Well, good for her for being a classy woman and looking out for the community around her, that's excellent to see. Yeah, so today's topic is really fun for me, because I am a big movie buff, but there's so many categories of movies these days, you know, Rom Com, action, suspense, horror and I think, an overlooked category that we want to talk about on this podcast are friendship movies, because they're very rarely called friendship movies. You normally have friends in movies, in an adventure movie, in a rom com, but there are just some movies where like that is the plot. And we thought it would be really fun to just talk about that genre of movie today, talk about maybe some of the things that make a movie a friendship movie, and then we are going to both talk about our top three best friend movies of all time. That's right, Debbie.
Robin (12:57):
And what I love about these friendship movies the most is that even if it is some kind of rom com, the focal point is still around the friendship, like the conflict and everything. It revolves around the friendship, and a lot of times we can identify with the conflict that these characters are handling. In fact, one of my favorite movies came out the same year I went through a terrible breakup. So yeah, it's about a breakup, but it's also about your friends showing up and helping you, like, navigate this new life that you're entering. So yeah, I'm really excited to talk about
(13:33):
this. For
Deborah (13:34):
me, the things that really make a friendship movie is first and foremost just having that tangible, deep, emotional connection, you usually get some type of background in the sense that they've known each other since childhood, or you maybe get a flashback how they met in the first place. And there's a level of comfort, usually between these characters that is unbridled, whether it is affectionate and cuddly with each other, or I personally love when there are young pictures of them in the set, or they'll recall like a picture of the two of them when they are younger. And you can really get that sense of like a history between these characters and the plot is usually driven by their friendship, like you said, whether or not the larger plot is a rom com. What's funny is, right now, I'm thinking of a movie that is an interesting one to talk about because of how it ends. But did you ever see something borrowed? No, okay, so something borrowed is an interesting one because it is really about the ways in which you outgrow a friend. Sometimes you hang on to a friendship for too long, because the premise of that one is Kate Hudson and Jennifer Goodwin are best friends. They've been friends forever, all through childhood, high school, and Jennifer meets a guy in law school, and they're getting. Along, they're flirting. She has feelings for him, and then when he meets Kate Hudson's character, they start dating. And so she has to just sort of take a back seat, oh my God, and watch her best friend end up getting engaged to this guy that she has literally been quietly in love with it's definitely an interesting movie because Kate Hudson's character is terrible, and she's not very nice to Jennifer Goodwin through a lot of it, and also is not a very good fiance to this guy, jeez. But what happens so often is, I think Jennifer sticks around because they have such a long, deep friendship. So it's kind of that case of, like, what do you do when you
(15:47):
outgrow each other? And even though, you know, spoiler alert, they end up having an affair. Jennifer Goodwin and the fiance have, like, an affair, I know, something borrowed, great name, and obviouslyruins their friendship. But you get to a point at the end of the end of the movie where you realize, you know what, we served our time together. Now we have to move
Robin (16:07):
on, served our time. You know
Deborah (16:09):
what I mean? Sometimes people are in your life to take you to the next phase of your life. Yeah, I get that, and I think that that's an important arc to see in a movie like that, because it's very relatable.
Robin (16:22):
Okay, I'll have to check that out. It sounds good, yeah, is it good? Or is it just it
Deborah (16:27):
is easy, okay, it is easy to watch. There's some cute scenes. They have a really funny like dance scene with each other. Again, it's pure cheese. I mean, I think you would like it just based on our previous conversations about Hallmark movies. Yeah. Okay, so it's definitely up your alley, in that sense, great. What about you? What do you think are some other good traits in a friendship movie for me,
Robin (16:53):
and this is something that I take pride in, and my life is unwavering loyalty. Loyalty is huge for me and friendship and so I like watching how that's portrayed in other films. Can give me inspiration on what to do or what not to do, how to maintain boundaries, because loyalty doesn't mean your friends get to walk all over you, you know, right, right. So the kinds of movies that use that as a pillar of strength during adversity, like, for that friendship, I think is really inspirational,
Deborah (17:27):
yeah, and when you just sort of have that bond that you know is going to be unbreakable. So this is an old school reference, but one movie I will always watch, like, if it's on TV, or, if it just like randomly pops up on my suggestions, is the Goonies.
Robin (17:45):
Oh, okay, the
Deborah (17:48):
Goonies. I mean, I think I get so much nostalgia from them just riding their bikes around. You know? It just makes me think of that innocent time when you were in middle school or early high school, and that was your mode of transportation. And you know, this is back in the day when you couldn't just go online and see what your friends were doing, or the fact that your friends are hanging out without you, which is a terrible thing that our kids will now have to experience, and just like social media, sort of outing them when they're hanging out without each other. You knew where everyone was based on the bikes in the front yard. I grew up in a small town, and yeah, it was either bikes in a front yard or bikes in front of the grocery store, you know, like, oh, everyone must be at the you know, save on was the convenience store. And like, you'd go there and take your allowance money and buy some big chew and a Coke, and just like that movie of this like scrappy group of childhood friends that is doing everything they can so that their neighborhood doesn't get sold to developers, because they're convinced if they don't live in the same neighborhood, that they're just not going to be friends anymore, right? And that happens, yeah? 100% so that kicks off that whole adventure. When I think of like, a good, scrappy group of friends, it's funny. I think of that, and then, like, the sand lot,
Robin (19:09):
the sand lot, yep, yes, the sand lot.
Deborah (19:12):
It's funny because both boy movies, but maybe it's because I'm a little bit more, I think I've got masculine energy, I've been told so I like relate to those types of friends. I also grew up with guy friends a lot, so did I? So a lot of that like behavior and those dynamics in those movies, like it was so familiar to me. I did not grow up with, like, girly girls, you know? Yeah,
Robin (19:36):
I grew up playing sports. I had two brothers. I was totally a tomboy for the longest time. Took me a while to find my femininity, because I had to find it on my own. Honestly, same,
Deborah (19:51):
same 100% Yeah, my mom was very uncomfortable. I think having those types of conversations same. So I. Taught myself everything for better or for worse, makeup, plucking my eyebrows, which is probably why I eviscerated them, shaving my legs, like all of that stuff I kind of taught myself because I think my mom was just like, uncomfortable, like, I don't know, teaching it or something. Yeah. Why
Robin (20:19):
did you have me right? You're not gonna, like, teach me how to be
Deborah (20:24):
a woman. So I kind of had to rely on my girlfriends, you know, to check me every once in a while, like I was doing something wrong. And I love friendship movies when they're younger. You know what I mean, even though, like, now as an adult, it might feel weird to, like, watch that kind of movie. But, like, I love thinking back around that, like young age of innocence,
Robin (20:46):
this actually makes me think of 13 going on 30. Oh, my God, yes, that's one of my favorite rom coms, because you see how she is with friendships as an early teen, and then she gets thrown into adulthood. She's like, wait a second, none of this is like the way I thought it would be. I'm gonna make it better. Yeah, I'm gonna put some sparkles on it. And with that, she learns that these people that she wanted to be friends with as a kid are not her real friends, which is a hard thing to figure out when you're that young, because there's so many other elements. Yeah, right. Because you all go to the same school, you want people to think that you're cool to be around. So she's trying to fit under that umbrella, and just realizes, you know what, this person likes me exactly for who I am, so that's who I want to be friends with, and maybe Mary spend the rest of my life with. So good.
Deborah (21:40):
It is so good. That's a great call out movie. And what I really like about that plot point too, is, you know, she kind of jumps ahead into the life that she is going to have once she makes the decision to chase after the popular girls, she finds out what a bad friend she has become as well. You know, that's right, yeah, she realizes that she was a backstabber, that she is someone who lies and cheats and is willing to do anything for fame or popularity. And that's like a reckoning within herself. And it just goes to show you, like how choosing these friendships when you're younger can have a massive impact as to like how you are as an adult,
Robin (22:22):
it really can for better or worse, great, great movie.
Deborah (22:26):
So that's the premise of a friendship movie. You've got deep connections. You have people overcoming adversity. You have people really showing you who you are. Hopefully, these friends are making you better as a person. And one last thing I want to bring up before we dive into each of our top three favorite friendship movies is in my quote, unquote research for this episode, I was just having a hard time thinking of the full spectrum of friendship movies, and one that kept coming up, and it kind of ages me by revealing is the movie beaches. Have you ever seen beaches with Bette Midler.
Robin (23:01):
I haven't, I haven't. I watched it a while ago,
Deborah (23:04):
and it came up under the theme of like bitter, sweet endings. And the thing about beaches, if you have never seen it, these girls meet when they're really little, and Bette Midler goes on to be very famous in the movie and still maintains kind of a long distance friendship with a girl that she met when she was a child. But they have a long period of time where they weren't in each other's lives, and then they kind of reconnected when Bette Midler was famous, going through ups and downs of fame, and the other one was going through ups and downs of a divorce, and it has, like the saddest ending. It's known for being like a tear jerker movie, because spoiler. I mean, it's been like, 40 years, so I don't mind spoiling it. But the other actress, I can't remember her name, she gets diagnosed with a terminal illness, and then Bette Midler, character drops everything to like, be with her when she dies. Like, I think there's like, a kid involved, and it's like, carrying on the legacy for the kid. And then this is where we get the Bette Midler song. You are the wind beneath my wings. That's like, where that song
Robin (24:16):
from? I didn't know that. Yeah,
Deborah (24:20):
yeah. So if you want a good cry and like a good bittersweet, truly friends to the end, type of movie, it is beaches. There you
Robin (24:28):
go. Oh my gosh. Okay, I'll check it out, man. Okay, so that's
Deborah (24:32):
basically the premise of a good friendship movie. So without further ado, Robin, I want to know break down your top three in no particular order. Mine are not ranked three favorite friendship movies of all time.
Robin (24:44):
This is in no particular order. First of all, I gotta go straight to bridesmaids. Of course, of course. If you haven't seen bridesmaids, drop everything and go watch bridesmaids. Like this movie. It came out in 2011 I think. Mm, hmm. Yeah, it's timeless. Every time I watch it, I love it. It makes me laugh. It's so
Deborah (25:07):
relatable. Oh my god, so relatable.
Robin (25:10):
If you watch this film and you can't relate to it, like you don't have friends,
Deborah (25:15):
I'm convinced of that. And there's even a diarrhea scene that movie made me laugh so hard in the movie theater. I saw it at the Alamo Drafthouse. And if you're not familiar at the Alamo, you know they will serve you food and beverages. And so it was a combination of like eating and then like drinking beer. But I laughed so hard at that movie I thought I was going to throw up, because I was, like, full, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I was laughing so hard that I was like, I actually might throw up in this theater, like that very, very last scene before the credits where it like, cuts to the home video, I'll just say, oh my god, I laughed. I really thought I was gonna pass out laughing, but you're so right in that that movie is so relatable, and we've talked about this before, when you're in a different stage of life, as your best friend, it is so hard. I remember one of my best friends got married pretty young, like 23 and our 23 year old lives could not have been more different. At that time, she had bought a home. She was getting married, she got a job in her field, like right after graduation, living in a new city, and I was living in a dead man's apartment, literally, well, I got the apartment because someone had died and they didn't really have a next of kin. And when I saw the apartment there all this stuff, we're gonna get rid of it. Unfortunately, the tenant passed away, and I was like, hey, if I put a deposit today, can I just keep all of this furniture? Because I actually have no money, and that way you don't have to clean it out, and then I would have a desk and a table. So this is like where I'm at in life, literally barely able to afford $400 a month rent in Dayton, Ohio, eating French green beans from a can, and like being asked to be that maid of honor. I felt the same strife as Kristen Wiig did, of like, how am I going to afford this? How am I going to pay for all these things? I am so happy for you, but holy shit, I feel like
(27:36):
the biggest f up ever in this position right now. So by the time I had watched the movie, I had just gotten married, so it was in a very different place in life. But man, I recall those early days oflike, when you just feel like, wow, your life is going really well, and mine is actually like, I am spiraling right now. That's great, yeah,
Robin (27:56):
well, and that's, you know, you surround yourself with the people you aspire to be like, right? Yeah, so it's okay that maybe you're not doing as well as them. They're gonna get you there. They're gonna lead the way. Yeah, that's how I try to think about it. But it is really hard to not be self deprecating when you're going through the loss of a business, the loss of your income, you have to move back in with your mom, like she is going through it when her friend asked her to be yes a bridesmaid. Yes, yeah. Like, it's okay to have multiple best friends, but it's also really hard to feel like you're not the more liked friend, yeah, and you're nothing like the other friend. So you're like, how do I even compete with that? And that's what was fun to watch for me, because we've all definitely been in some kind of scenario like that, where our best friend has another friend that we're not friends with. Yes, yes, and we we don't know how to be friends with them. Yeah, it's hard.
Deborah (28:58):
Yes. That scene where they go to play tennis, I think perfectly encapsulates that of just like, you know, your common ground is that friend. So you, in theory, would really get along, but in reality, there's like jealousy, and guards are up on like both ends, and oh my gosh, I've been there.
Robin (29:19):
Seth has me watching Cougar Town for the first time. Oh, wow. Okay, I've never seen Cougar Town and Courtney Cox's character, her two best friends, hate each other. They could not be more different, but they realize something that they have in common is that if you fuck with our friend, we'll fuck you up. There you go. And that's what they told her, like, Look, don't worry about us getting along. We're here for you, and I love that, yeah? Like, whatever, yeah. We don't have to be best friends just because we have the same best friend.
Deborah (29:54):
So bridesmaids, absolutely I agree with that pick. I would have taken it for mine if I could. So, death. Neatly stamp of approval there.
Robin (30:01):
I'm gonna follow up bridesmaids with another favorite called wine country, who has a similar crew as bridesmaids. Maya Rudolph is in this film. Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, actually, the reason why I love this movie so much is that it's very reminiscent of our friendship from working at faudo. They're friends because they worked at a piece of shop together in their early 20s. Oh, so one of them is about to turn 50, and the planner of the group, aka me, Amy Poehler, plans this itinerary for wine trip to Napa Valley with all the girls to celebrate her birthday. This Rachel Dratch is character, gotcha, yeah. So you get to hear things from when they work together, but like, then you see, like, all the different stages that everyone is at in life. It's not the same. Like one woman is hyper focused on her business, like she's not even, like, invested in the weekend. And this movie was so relatable to me, just in the sense of, like, our group of friends, I felt like if we went on a trip when one of us turns 50, it might go something like that, minus as much drama. I just don't see us fighting that much. But yeah, like, the key theme is just middle aged friendship and how friendships evolve over time, and then they throw aging into there, which we're not quite there yet. And that's another reason why I like it, because it's like, okay, this is like something ahead of me, yeah?
Deborah (31:31):
What to look forward to? Maybe, maybe not look forward
Robin (31:34):
to. Or, you know, we're already doing what they did this one time. They plan this wine trip. We plan trips every year. Yeah, yeah. We stay connected. I don't think they all stay as connected. You know what I mean? I've
Deborah (31:48):
never seen this movie. It's been recommended to me so many times. Our friend Ashley has recommended it so many times. So maybe, you know, maybe I'll put it on tonight. I think
Robin (32:00):
it came out during COVID too. Okay, so it was even more nostalgic feeling just because I couldn't see any of my friends.
Deborah (32:09):
Yeah, so basically, this movie has everything that I want and love and I need to watch it. Yeah, yeah, perfect.
Robin (32:16):
I love it. It's great. I'm having so much fun talking about this because I'm remembering these movies that I love, and I haven't watched them in a while. Yeah, so my third movie, these are all like, quite different from each other, when you think about it, this third movie I touched on it earlier. It's called someone great, and it takes place in New York. The main character, her name's Jenny. She's a journalist. She gets offered her dream job in San Francisco, and at the same time, she's dealing with a painful breakup of nine years from her boyfriend. And so that's this whole movie. She's like, I'm leaving town. I need to send off with my girls. And so it's the Turner, two best friends on an adventure in New York City. And you know, her friends are dealing with their stuff too, while they're trying to support her, that's real life. Yeah, you know these friends, they're dealing with their own shit, but they're also trying to show up for someone who really needs them, and it's watching them find that balance and work through their own problems simultaneously. It's hard. Life is hard. Life is hard, and friendship anchors us during these major life transitions in a way other relationships, don't? You know? I don't know. Yeah, this movie was so relatable to me at the time that it came out, because it was the same time frame that my ex and I of three and a half years broke up, so I very much had that same feeling of, like, I have to rediscover myself. I don't know who I am anymore, and I wholly relied on my friends, like, get me out of that funk and figure out a new path. And so I watched this movie several times when it first came out.
Deborah (33:57):
I'm gonna have to add that one to the list. You know, you and I had talked about this movie briefly, and I had never even heard of it. So I love the spectrum of your movies, because we got one that would be on my top movie. The second one is I've been wanting to watch and just have not made the time for myself to watch it. And the third one is brand new. And I love the premise of all three of those movies, because, again, the central theme is like your friends are going to carry you through these difficult times, and they're going to be there for you in great times like your 50th birthday or in really hard times like the end of a significant relationship. So great spectrum of movies. Robin,
Robin (34:38):
thanks. Tell me about your favorites.
Deborah (34:41):
Okay, I'm excited to talk about this first one because Robin, I know you watched it for the first time last night. I did, but I cannot talk about friendship movies without talking about Thelma and Louise. Tell me why. You know, it's a movie I watched when I was really young. I saw it when i. Was like, I think going into sixth grade, I flew out to see my grandmother in California, and she was like, let's watch a movie tonight, and popped it in, maybe without realizing what we were about to watch.
Robin (35:16):
It's quite a movie for a six year old to watch. Well, that's six
Deborah (35:20):
and I was going into sixth grade. Oh, yeah, that would be horrifying, but on the eve of adolescence, for sure enough to know what a sex scene is. And boy is there a sex scene in this movie? Boy is there? She didn't even do the whole like, Ah, she didn't know what to do. She'll like, fast forward or pause it. We both just sort of just pretend it's not happening. Pretended it wasn't happening. No eye contact. Anyway, I saw it at a young age. It was seared in my brain. Saw it a few times after, and then it never really crossed my mind. A few years ago, I made the dumbest purchase of my entire life. I decided to go on a solo trip to Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. Okay, you're like, why is that a dumb idea, because I booked this trip for early November, which is not in season for Hilton Head, which is probably why the tickets round trip were like $100 and it monsoon the entire time I was there. So I literally spent money, and now I also rented a Jeep Wrangler in my brain, I was going to Hilton Head. This was right after I got divorced. I was gonna have
Robin (36:28):
a me weekend, little self discovery. Weekend,
Deborah (36:31):
self discovery Stella Got Her Groove Back. Weekend, I was gonna, like, read on the beach. I was gonna write. I bought a new journal to write again, and it monsoon the entire time. So I basically flew to Hilton Head to do what I do at home, which is, at that time, drink alone and watch movies inside. So during that weekend, I think maybe it was on one of the network stations, and I was like, Man, this is such a great movie again, because you've got these two characters in very different places in life. Susan Sarandon is very like strong willed, and she won't marry her boyfriend. And then you have a housewife in Thelma, aka Gina Davis, who she wanted to marry him. I see I thought she was like giving him the stiff arm.
Robin (37:19):
No, she's given him the stiff arm, because there was a moment where she said, Jimmy, do you love me? And he paused, and he was like, yeah,
Deborah (37:29):
yeah. Good point. Good point. I think
Robin (37:31):
she just realized he wasn't ever gonna be the guy that she needed him to be. Good point, but she loved him anyway. True,
Deborah (37:37):
very true. Both of them are in complicated relationships with men. Let's just say, yeah, yeah. So what makes this movie so great is, you know, it's supposed to just be a girl's weekend getaway, which is even hard for Thelma to do, because her boyfriend is a controlling asshole, basically, her husband, her husband, that's right, her husband is an asshole. On the first night stop, they go to a bar and Thelma gets wasted and trigger warning, she is sexually assaulted in the parking lot. And when Louise, Susan Sarandon character, sees this, she has a gun and she kills the attacker. They just make one bad decision after another. After this, this could easily have been resolved, but they make the decision that they need to get out of there and just be fugitives of the law. So this starts off a cross country road trip. What I love about this movie is that I feel like it's a gender neutral action movie. You know what? I mean, like, it's great to relate to these female characters, but I would be hard pressed to find a man who wasn't equally as invested in this story. I mean, it has everything. You know, they've got narrow escapes from the cops. They're trying to throw off the scent. They make more bad decisions. They
Robin (38:59):
blow up a semi. They blow up a semi.
Deborah (39:03):
And, you know, Brad Pitt is in this movie. And Brad Pitt has, oh my gosh, this is like early heartthrob days of Brad Pitt, the hottest he may have ever looked in a movie other than Fight Club. But this is like young Brad Pitt. And you know, if you have not seen this movie, I'm gonna have a major spoiler. You've had decades to watch it, so I'm sorry, but it culminates to a high speed chase with the police. They literally have them surrounded, and they're in their Cadillac with the top down, and they decide we're gonna keep going. And keep going means they are literally going to drive off a cliff. And the last shot is just that still of them in the air in the car, iconic and like a flashback of all the fun that they had. And obviously, like this is a very dark ending. For that movie, but I just feel like it was so badass. I just love the way that they're there for each other. And you and I were texting last night, Robin, as you were watching it, Robin, watched it for the first time last night. So Robin, I'm gonna give you the floor. I wanna know your thoughts on this movie.
Robin (40:15):
I wouldn't put it in my top three. Okay, all right, that's fine. Let me tell you why, apart from what I've already said, the bad decisions really started to bother me. And even though I understood the decision making, like Louise got them out of that situation, because you find out that she was raped, and people probably didn't believe her. Yeah, she never talks about it, so you don't know the full story, but she made a decision to flee the scene based on her own experience, right? I understand that Thelma legit acts like she is mentally impaired half the time, and I get it because she's been this housewife for however many years, she hasn't been able to leave the house very sheltered. She doesn't have other friends. She doesn't ever get to do anything for herself, but she was acting like a child, straight up, and she got on my nerves. Yeah, you left that much money on a table right next to the bed while a stranger's in that room, and then you left him alone with it. She's so trusting, and I'm so not. So it's really just hard to identify with her thought process. She just doesn't think about anything beyond what's right in front of her. Yeah, yes, and that was driving Luis up the wall too. I was right there with you, Luis, but
Deborah (41:44):
And you and I were texting about this last night. Louise's patience for this friend, I think, shows her level of loyalty. Because, honestly, she could have been like, you know what? You're on your own. I'm leaving you. You made your bed. Go lie in it. I'm done. And she never abandoned her. You know, she obviously was upset and would lash out, but she was always of a sound mind to say, well, we can't undo what you just did, so now we have to pivot. Now we got to figure something out. Her ability to keep figuring things out, albeit their decisions led to their demise, I think, to not have make Thelma feel even worse about the dumb decision she made. I think, is another reason that I love that movie, because in spite of true these really stressful circumstances, you know, she was going to be in it with her no matter what,
Robin (42:39):
that's a good point. That's a good point. She was a good friend, but mania
Deborah (42:44):
is another way to describe the last act of that movie. I mean, pure
Robin (42:48):
mania. Yeah, it didn't have to end that way. I know. I know it stayed
Deborah (42:53):
with me for so long. The ending of that movie really, really stayed with me, and you're heartbroken, but that was really the only way that that situation was gonna go. Well, it's
Robin (43:04):
like you finally escaped these miserable lives that you were leading, but you escaped it in such a way that you walked right into maybe they wouldn't call this something worse, but I don't know, like, I love that they found themselves in this adventure. I just wish they could have applied it to the rest of their lives.
Deborah (43:25):
I know it's tragic. It's tragic. Yeah, that's
Robin (43:28):
what bothered me, like I wanted them to move forward with these new versions of themselves, where they run the show and call the shots. I mean, I get it. What could have been, I think, is what hurts. I totally get
Deborah (43:44):
it. I completely understand for me, I love films that have the unexpected. You know what I mean. And I would have never expected a movie about two women on the run to have ended that way. True. So for me, that's why I just think it's a badass movie. So that is one of my top three the second one. As I started thinking about Geena Davis, I was like, how do we not talk about A League of Their Own? I mean, I grew up on a league of their own. We certainly didn't own it, but maybe one of our friends had the VHS. I think we ran a hole in that film, because we watched it so many times. I mean, just the camaraderie of the teams you have, like the sister dynamic, you know, which is always kind of tense, you've got Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell, what a pair. What a pair,
Robin (44:40):
what a pair. So
Deborah (44:41):
great, so good. And, you know, obviously you've got the excitement of baseball and just again, the badass nature of them, you know, filling in for the men while the men are at war. You have that heartbreaking scene where one of the women finds out that she lost her husband. Oh, I think I would cry while. Watching that right now. It is so sad, and the way that they're there for her. But to me, the part that kills me is the end of that movie, when they're all older
Robin (45:12):
and they return. That's my favorite part. It's the
Deborah (45:15):
best part, you know, and they're like, with their families and their grandkids, that scene. I'm like, getting choked up now thinking about it, it's just I'm a big nostalgic person, and everybody has that time period in their life. That's the golden years. I just, like, think about us when we're older and we're gray and we're always going to be talking about that time in our 20s. Do you know what I mean? And so league of their own. Oof loved it now, hot take, I did not like the TV. Adoption of a league of their own. I don't know if you saw it
Robin (45:52):
recently. I never saw it. No,
Deborah (45:55):
I think it was on HBO. Max had all of the elements on paper, but it lost that friendship being the central storyline. So I was really hoping I would like love it as much as the movie. But unfortunately, I'm sad to say, I did not, but league of their own, pitch perfect movie. See what I did there. Pitch because of the baseball. Oh,
Robin (46:18):
I was thinking of the movie, Pitch Perfect. Oh, that's a honorable
Deborah (46:22):
mention. Yeah. Honorable Mention friendship movie. It
Robin (46:25):
really is, yeah, yeah. I agree. Pitch Perfect. Final
Deborah (46:29):
one is another classic. I feel so old making this list because none of mine were as recent as yours, but it came to me late last night. How could we not talk about stale magdalenas, which Robin
Robin (46:39):
I have not seen. Cannot believe that. I'm sorry. It
Deborah (46:43):
is an old movie at this point. You know what I mean? Like, it is definitely, I mean, what was it in the 80s, early 90s, when that came out, Julia Roberts was so young, it was, like, maybe her first movie. I think
Robin (46:54):
it was 1991 Yeah. Okay, that tracks only because I was just reading about it today. I think it came out the same year as fried green tomatoes,
Deborah (47:06):
another honorable mention for friendship movies, friendship slash, did they love each other? I think they loved each other. It was heavily implied, but yeah, Steel Magnolias, I love it because it's got all these cross generational friendships, because it basically centers around this small town, and there is the local hair place, you know, that kind of serves as like a central location, but it spans through the years as Sally Field is not raising her daughter, but her daughter is Julia Roberts, and Julia Roberts is getting married, so she's, like, leaving the house, and it kind of spans the course of maybe, like, five to 10 years, okay? And Julia Roberts has diabetes, which, at this time, diabetes, I think, was, like, a really big deal. Like, we didn't really have the type of modern medicine readily available, so it was a really big deal. And there's a few scenes where she's, like, having insulin seizures, and it's very scary. Oh, do you know anything about the like, oh, Robin, I'm not gonna tell you. Okay. I'm not gonna tell you, because you just have to watch it. Okay? And when I tell you that I could cry my eyelashes off to this movie.
Robin (48:25):
Oh, now I'm scared to watch it. I don't want to cry.
Deborah (48:29):
This is one of those cry porn movies. You know what I mean, where, like, you need to kind of get out a certain emotion, so, like, you put on a movie that you know is really just going to hit you in the gut. This is that movie.
Robin (48:41):
Does it make you cry in a good way or bad way?
Deborah (48:45):
I mean, both okay. I cannot believe that you There's so much I want to say, but I also really want you to watch it because it is a beautiful movie of enduring friendships and women being there for each other in spite of their differences, and really overcoming a lot of hard things. And I believe in the book, you know, it's called Steel Magnolias, because, like, they're these beautiful women, but they're made of steel. I love that. They're so resilient. They're so strong. They each really endure a lot. You gotta watch it, man. I'm just picturing someone listening to this being like, I can't believe she doesn't know how this movie ends. So, like, I don't even want you to look anything up. Okay, but you gotta do it. You gotta do it all right,
Robin (49:33):
wow. So your top three was from before the 2000s and my top three was after the 2000s this is a really nice range for all of our listeners.
Deborah (49:43):
It is a good range 100% so tell us what we missed. What movies would you add to that list? We want to hear your favorite friendship duos in a movie. And you know what? We didn't even really talk about boy movies that much, but there's so many boy friendship movies as well. I want to know them all. Send us your. Feedback at art of classiness@gmail.com and maybe we'll read it on the air. Yeah. Okay, so while today's episode was about friendship movies, there are so many great characters and television shows that we were wondering who would make the best friend to us. So our bracket today is, will you be my best friend? And I'm gonna list two fictional television characters, and Robin is going to whittle them down and let us know who would be the ultimate fictional friend. Okay, are you ready? Yeah, I'm excited. I know this was hard to narrow down. There were so many characters I wanted to add on here, and I tried to make it wide ranging enough for shows that most people would be familiar with. So here we go. First up, Alexis rose from shits Creek, or Monica Geller from friends. They're
Robin (50:56):
so different. The version of Alexis at the end of shits Creek is somebody that I would want to be friends with.
Deborah (51:05):
Great Call, great call. I think I would probably say the same thing. I feel like I would disappoint Monica all the time.
Robin (51:13):
That's the thing. Monica would always be upset with me. Yeah,
Deborah (51:17):
yeah, yeah. Okay. Two from the same show here, Christina Yang or Meredith Gray, both from Gray's Anatomy. Meredith Gray, really, Christina is intense. Mm, hmm, yeah,
Robin (51:32):
hard to love. You know, I did stop watching the show at a certain point, so maybe I didn't see what their friendship progressed into. But what I did see was that Christina isn't a good friend to anybody. Christina is only out for Christina, like Meredith, is the only person she makes an exception for. And I don't know, what do you think? I
Deborah (51:54):
think that's a fair they're both very closed off. Yeah, you know, and I will say it doesn't seem like they develop great friendships with anybody else other than each other. So they're both cats, they're both cats. They are both cats, and you need a golden retriever, yeah? Okay. Meredith, it is okay. Abby Abrams from Broad City, or Alana Wechsler from Broad City, okay?
Robin (52:21):
Ilana is a mess. They're both messes, but Ilana is a whole other level. I'm gonna say Abby. Good
Deborah (52:28):
call. If I were to choose which one I relate to more, it's definitely Abby. I feel like I'm an Abby for sure. Yeah, me too, Abby. It is. What a show. Great. Great show. So good. All right? Samantha Jones from Sex in the City, or Robin chrobotsky from How I Met Your Mother.
Robin (52:47):
I love both of them. I'm gonna go with Robin because I I've just watched How I Met Your Mother so many times. And yeah, I really do want to be friends with Robin chrobotsky, yeah, and she's Canadian. She's lived so many lives. I love her stories. Like her dad used to treat her like a boy, yeah, then she was a teenage pop star all the things, yeah,
Deborah (53:15):
good choice. I would choose Robin too, okay, Jess day from New Girl, or Leslie nope from Parks and Rec. Why would you do this to me? I know this is a hard one. They're
Robin (53:27):
two of my favorite female characters on TV. Oh my gosh. Okay, Leslie nope,
Deborah (53:34):
good choice, good choice. I mean, there's really no bad choice, yeah. But Leslie Nope. Would be a great friend. Period.
Robin (53:43):
She's a queen. She's the friend that I aspire to be.
Yes, I
Deborah (53:48):
want to be as thoughtful as she is. Great point, great point, okay, Lily from How I Met Your Mother, or Pam Beasley from the office. Lily, I would say the same. I love Pam, but we didn't really get to see her with female friendships. I think they kind of robbed her of that opportunity in the show. I mean, she didn't really have a whole lot to choose from, but we don't really know what kind of friend she would be. So I agree, Lily, it is okay. Throw back Jesse Spano from say by the bell, or Topanga Lawrence from Boy Meets worlds.
Robin (54:27):
I'm gonna go with Topanga. Jessie Spano, she was my least favorite character on say by the bell. Yeah.
Deborah (54:35):
What is that stripper movie that she did? Show girls, show girls, show girls. I feel like showgirls is actually what Jesse Spano would have become, because she would have burnt out in college really quickly. Too much, no dose, too much. No dose, too much pressure, and she would have high tailed it to Vegas. But man, showgirls is such a great campy. Watch. It's so bad. There was a period of time where they would play showgirls on VH one, and in order to do that, they had animations over their naked body, poorly done animations. What kind
Robin (55:17):
of animations to cover up their nipples. But what were they? Just, like, blurbs?
Deborah (55:23):
No, it would be like a bra, like an animated bra, oh, like an emoji. Yes, I'm not kidding, and they will work on VH one, but just, like, edited with, like, the animations and, like, really bad dubs over all the swearing, and that's how I first watched it. And it is so bad, it's so bad, it's good. Okay. So Topanga Lawrence, it is okay. Last two, Elaine Bennis from Seinfeld, or Daria Morgan dorfer from the show Daria, ooh,
Robin (55:55):
we okay. I used to love Daria, la,
Deborah (56:00):
la, la, la, la, so good. I love
Robin (56:04):
Elaine, too. We've been slowly watching Seinfeld. It's one of the stuff before bed shows I'm gonna go with Daria. Wow. Okay. It's nostalgia for me when I watched it when I was a teenager, like I really identified with her, and I wanted to be friends with her. She reminds me a lot of my sister. So, yeah,
Deborah (56:26):
okay, well, let's start eliminating some more people now there. This is going to be interesting, because a lot of these personality types are not going to match with each other. But here we go, Alexis rose, or Meredith gray. Alexis, 100% I knew Meredith wasn't going to make it past the second round. No, okay, Abby Abrams from Broad City, or Robin shabotsky. This
Robin (56:49):
one is tough. The reasoning, the breakdown, I don't have it. I just like they're both cool. I would love They both live in New York, in the shows, like they run into the same kind of New York situation. Ships, I'm gonna go with Robin,
Deborah (57:06):
okay, oh, I'm sad to see Abby go. Me
Robin (57:10):
too. I love you, Abby, I really do. Okay,
Deborah (57:13):
I this is also gonna be tough. Leslie, nope, or Lily from How I Met Your Mother,
Robin (57:19):
this is not hard for me. Leslie, nope. Okay, there you
Deborah (57:23):
go. Topanga, Lawrence or Daria. Daria, wow. Okay, all right, now we got the Final Four. Alexis, rose or Robin. Shabbat ski, oh, man, Robin, I already know what the final two is going to be, but I'm going to ask anyway, Leslie, nope, or Daria. Leslie, yeah. I mean, sorry, Daria, you didn't stand a chance in that matchup. Here we go. Robin shabotsky or Leslie Knope to be your fictional best friend. It's
Robin (57:58):
a tough choice, because I really would love to be friends with either of them, but I'm gonna go Leslie. Nope. She is my idol. Yep, ding, ding, ding, ding. Honestly, before this bracket, I could have told you she was gonna win, but I did try to, like, not think of it that way. Yeah, you try to be objective. She's an icon. She
Deborah (58:18):
is an icon. She's never gonna forget your birthday. She's always gonna curate galentines. She knows what you want before you want it. And I agree. I
Robin (58:30):
do feel like I am her on a smaller scale. Yeah, I'm the person that texts in the group chat Happy birthday. I get everybody to send our friends like gifts and flowers. Yes, I'm just always thinking about other people. You really are. I want everyone to feel special, and so does Leslie, nope,
Deborah (58:50):
I will say, Robin, everybody deserves a friend like you. 100% stand by that. That's so nice. I could honestly cry saying it. It's so true. You always remember birthdays. You're always making sure that we remember big milestones in other people's life. Robin is there for her people big time. But I think that's just your nature. You give a lot. You give and give a lot. I
Robin (59:18):
give a lot, and I've learned to not give to people who don't give back. It's Yes, a lifelong lesson.
Deborah (59:26):
Let's wrap this up with, is it classy? Our classy scenario, and this one's kind of a spicy one. Okay, are you ready? I'm ready. Is it classy to uninvite a friend from an event because they don't get along with someone else you invited.
Robin (59:44):
No, it's not classy. I agree. The classy thing to do is to inform both friends, like, Hey, I know you and so and so. Don't get along, but they are going to be there. Come or don't come. But also, don't cause drama. Stay on the other side of the room. You know, it's just like what I was talking about with Cougar Town, these two women love the same person, but they don't like each other. And she's like, Y'all need to figure this out on your own. Stop making it my problem.
Deborah (01:00:11):
Yeah. And I will go a step further and say it is not classy to ask your friends to take sides. No, it's one thing if you're talking about a breakup, right? And you're like, hey, I don't really want to be around that ex, you know, obviously there's dicey situations with ex boyfriends, but it is so unclassy. I think to make your shit somebody else's shit, you know, totally and I think people need to give each other grace when you have a fallout with someone that it's not necessarily fair for everyone else to join and take sides. Now, having been in that not necessarily position before, but it is hard when you see something terrible about someone, and other people can't see it, and they are still hanging out with someone who's problematic, and you're just like, I don't know why. I can understand the frustration, but it is not classy to ask people to take sides in friendship fallouts, in my opinion. You know, no you can have every right to cut somebody out of your life. You can't make that decision for somebody else. They have to come to that conclusion for themselves exactly,
Robin (01:01:23):
and we're all adults here. It's okay to not get along with somebody. It's okay to accept that. It's okay to accept that you're never gonna be friends. You could still be cordial.
Deborah (01:01:34):
Yeah, I think we are lucky enough to just have a low drama friend group, which I'm very grateful for, at least now, at least now, in our hot mess early 20s, there's definitely some revolving door friends that you know came and went because they were crazy, but they saw themselves out. So, you know, it all works out.
Robin (01:02:00):
They sold themselves out. That's true. They really
Deborah (01:02:03):
did. They really did. So in conclusion, no, it is not classy to uninvite someone from a party just because they don't get along with someone else. Work out your shit. Be an adult,
Robin (01:02:13):
make both parties aware, inform them and let them make their own decisions. That's all
you can do. That's the classy thing to do. That is, and that's the final word on Class, Class dismissed. That was perfection. Was it? Class dismissed. Love it. Love it.
Deborah (01:02:35):
All right, let's drain this tub. Robin, this has been so much fun talking about our favorite friendship flicks, and I have nothing else, do you?
Robin (01:02:44):
I don't have anything else except classy is a state of mind.
Deborah (01:02:48):
Mind your classiness. Everybody. Goodbye,
Robin (01:02:51):
goodbye.
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