November 14, 2024 • 46 mins
Join us for a transformative conversation with Precious Belessin Ugbekile, an entrepreneur, youth advocate, and founder of True Identity. Precious shares her journey from a childhood of hardship to founding an organization that empowers Nigeria’s child hawkers and young women. Discover how love, education, and faith guide her mission to provide opportunities for children in need and inspire others to uncover their true potential.
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(00:00):
you have to fight for what you want
my guest today is precious blessing
Ugbekile
nearly 150 million children live on the streets
she is an inspiring entrepreneur
youth advocate humanitarian from Edo State Nigeria
precious blessing Ugbekile
(00:21):
her journey from childhood adversity
to becoming a mentor is powerful
true identity a non profit organization
empowers child hawkers
and young women in Nigeria
through education and skill training
which over a decade of dedication
precious advocates that love
(00:42):
and the right education
are the key to lifting children off the streets
you said that
there are three words that every child should know
should hear and this is I love you
so we're gonna explore that love
for someone listening right now
that's just hearing this and watching us
(01:03):
what do you want them to take
out of this conversation
what I want people to take away
is that life doesn't always give you what you expect
or deserve
often
you have to fight for the life you want
and for the person that you're meant to be
(01:23):
to become
personally
nothing for the longest time was handed to me
I had to fight for everything that I that I had
the journey may be filled with challenges
but is in those moments as you grow
you adapt um
(01:44):
and find your strengths
it's not about waiting
for opportunities to come to you
it's about creating them
and have the resilience to keep going
even when things seem tough
I think that's just
knowing that nobody promised me anything
(02:08):
nobody promised me even tomorrow gives me
it kind it shapes how I leave each day
I know that I'm here when I want something
I have to go get it I will not wait back
I won't stay and wait for it to come to me
so
just knowing that
(02:28):
you have to fight for what you want
for the person that you want to become
you have to put into work as well
I just think that the listeners and the viewers
will be curious to know the space
like how is it growing up in Edo state
I would say growing up
was both challenging and formative
(02:50):
um I was raised in a bustling environment with um
with our home just a short walk from the markets
so life around was
always fast and very busy
people spoke and behaved in ways that mirrored
(03:13):
the vibrant energy of the surrounding
I'm sure you know new Bini yes
yes our house was just
just listen 5 minutes work to the market
so early on
my home was filled with warmth and affection for me
um that early stage
(03:34):
it was a major part of how
what I what I knew who I was
my parents were
they they had a good career
they're quite successful at that time and
and then they faced challenges
that's brought about financial struggle
(03:57):
so that's changed
um that changed the dynamics in my family
you know with
with struggle comes
um change
it affects everything
so I think the struggle brought about that
(04:17):
that change in my family you know
and at that early stage
I didn't fully understand what was happening
what age are we talking about
it was early I think I was about 7
8 years at the time I was really young at the time
I didn't understand
it was as I grew older and with more information
(04:37):
I started to understand you know
parents try to sheed you just it's
it's about what you see at the time I
I knew that they were fighting a lot
and having a lot of disagreements
because it was hard it was hard to manage the home
and you know
again Nigeria
you're not just taking care of your immediate family
(05:01):
there's extended family and sometimes you
you have friends that you have to support as well
so it's a lot that we carry
um as we grow older
and sometimes I just wish
oh I wish I have a baby again
and I don't have to worry about all these things once
yes as we grow older
our responsibilities continue to change we
(05:23):
we we take on more
more than most of the time more than we can handle
were you scared at any time
like as you were growing older
the reality was hitting you that things are changing
of your financial constraints
now you're gonna grow older
we used to get it anytime like
oh my God I'm going to have responsibility
(05:43):
I'm I will have to buckle up or some of course
all the time I was scared
now I'm still scared because in life we
we're becoming right so it's you're not
you're never really ever there to say oh
I am fully here we're becoming
(06:04):
and as we face challenges and uncertainties
there is fear
I'm scared everyday I wake up
I worry about things how it's tomorrow
what would what does tomorrow have to offer
um there a lot of
especially the things that we can't control
(06:25):
is so many things that we can't control
we can't handle it's not in our power
so we live life just trusting God
not fully not having the full picture
you know even when we design our lives
there are things that will redesign our lives for us
(06:45):
so everyday I'm I'm afraid and
and I think this is so universal because um
I experience that as as well
there are some days that of course um
I'm so occupied not to worry yeah
and you're just too busy to be worried
and there are some in those moments
those free spaces
(07:07):
where maybe you have some time to reflect
then you stop worrying about all things
and even the things out of your control
how can we manage this worry
because anxiety is real right
so how can we manage this to now stay or
and to still leave our propose
(07:28):
don't get distracted by the worries and the fault
but still find your partner
um according to probably your propose
or what you're looking how do you manage this
uh for me I would say it's um
it's having faith in God
(07:49):
I that's that's the biggest for me
whatever
like sometimes I feel like I can do it by myself
and I'm quick to be reminded I cannot
and then I have to go back to God
I have to trust him I
I have faith I have deep faith in god and also um
(08:13):
it commitments to continues to continuously um
develop myself self development is
is also something that I lean on
I really appreciate the fact that you are saying
reduce on the burden true faith
so from people it could be um
(08:34):
true therapy or talking to someone
or talking to family member
you know on the other side
do do does it feel or maybe not for you
but generally it
does it sound somehow like not taking responsibility
just relying on um
I don't have control about everything um
(08:56):
many things are out of my control so um
let me take the day as it comes
you know not really owning
maybe once own part in the whole story
you know yeah
as it leads to that as it leads to that
no not for me
because for me I have to do all that
(09:19):
I can do all that is possible within my power to do
and then I then I can trust god
so I don't say just wake up and say
oh god let your will be done today and go to bed
no of course not
you have to put in the work
like give it your 99% first and then say
let your will be done
because no matter how hard you work
(09:41):
no matter what you do
there are things that are totally out of your control
that you would still go south or you
you can't control them so it's you um
put in the work first applying yourself
giving us your best do what you have to do
and then asking that his will be done in everything
(10:02):
they're just there there there
there are steps to follow for
for everything in life I
I think that has been laid out already well
we just need to search we need to find
it's like finding your way
you are on a streets you have to ask questions
you look you have to read a map
whatever you have to do
you have to do it first and then trust that God okay
(10:23):
I'm going to now take this road
that seems like the right road right
and whatever happens
you have to live with it somehow
knowing that you have played your own role
you played your own path
and what I'm hearing is like
reduce the burden by trusting and um
trust in the process
do your best be proactive do what you can do um
(10:47):
that's between your control
started an organization called True Identity
years ago and
True Identity just listen to the name
now taking back also to your story where you said
(11:11):
you constantly had this worry out okay
the hardship now that has come into my life
maybe this could prevent me from actually
finding my true identity
and you constantly stop thinking about it
first of all as a young person
why this thoughts or this fear of like
you might not be who you're meant to be and
(11:33):
and did the situation then really shape
if not
how did you come to really finding your true identity
I think that um
you know when things are different for you yeah
when we have friends we have family members
(11:53):
we see
we see how they're living
where they're coming from we
with their families when yours is different
you know you know oh
maybe this is not how it's meant to be
maybe my case is different
so the opportunities that you have
that's different from for example
I live just next to the market square right
(12:16):
and you know when
people are living somewhere else
you know when their parents are doing fine
you know when
when it's like with even with your friends
when you talk about their families
and you hear them and you feel like oh
what's wrong with my home
so I think I knew the things were different
and I worried a little I worried for a while I could
(12:37):
I didn't even dare to dream big dreams
because I didn't see more than my environment
for me was this is what I have
this what's in front of me
and again I think it's good and bad right
because good in a sense that's from a young age
we learnt how to be content
hmm just whatever we were handed was just okay
(12:58):
and that child and never used to ask for more
never used to ask for presents
Christmas clothes or anything
you know it's it's good but again
it takes away ambition
you're happy where you are wherever you are
you don't want to fight for more
you don't want to I still struggle with that
I'm very content you know
(13:19):
I wake up I'm happy
little things is enough for me okay
so like settling
settling for exactly feels feels like settling yeah
but the status quo you
you still find a way to use yourself
and then
you kept passing by the children at the market
(13:40):
on the street
you see them selling fruits and you know
and it would have been in your comfort zone to well
they're not your relatives
so why would you go out of your comfort zone
already struggling with yourself
why would you go out of the comfort zone
to start talking to them
or want to know more about them
you know what
what motivated you to do that
(14:03):
I would say it's it's a part of my own journey okay
just the lack of opportunities that I experienced
and not having a voice
and not having someone to
to step in and and um
(14:25):
kind of that pillar that you need to
to try if I didn't have that
and
I just didn't want another child to experience that
even though I didn't have the capacity to do with
but for me
I was like this always something that we can all do
we can we can all try at the time I
(14:48):
I had zero almost zero capacity
but I had me
and I thought I was enough because I thought
just be encouraging them at the time
which do something for them
you know I would buy things from those children
and leave my change for them and
and then I would buy as much as I could
(15:09):
I went for kids
for them and talk to my colleagues and say oh
this fruit is so nice do you want to buy some
you know I
I thought that was enough
cause I was all I had to give
and I wanted to just feeling that vacuum that I
that I thought that he had cause I had it in me
(15:30):
you know and
and look I was looking at myself at that time
to say I'm fighting for my life
for the future that I want
and I still feel like this
I still feel cannot believe be empty
I still have this vacuum in my life
I still I'm struggling with a lot of things
how about this children
the children that just own the streets and um
(15:56):
experiencing heart shape having to
to move from one destination to another
um under the sun
under the rain and just not having a choice
I didn't want that and I thought I can do something
(16:16):
and I was like I would try
if it doesn't work I will know that I tried that
I think that's something that I live by
when it comes to
when I experience the things that I can't stand
you know my heart will not let me
the things that my heart really beat for when it
when it has to do with other people
I think more than fighting for myself I
(16:37):
I know how to fight for others
and when I have that opportunity
before I think through it
cause I wasn't thinking through it
a lot of things could have happened
there are some homes that we went to
that was a little bit crazy
but I wasn't thinking about it
for me I just jump
but like I really want to help and I'm not afraid when
when I'm helping someone else
(16:59):
wow see that's
that's just empathy so comfortable
it's so easy to just turn a blind eye
to look the other way and be like
please I have my uh
luggage to carry um
it takes some it needs so much courage
(17:19):
so much empathy so much love
that world needs more
actually look into someone else's situation
especially those people that people treat us outcast
right I know
there are people out there that might feel
motivated to do something
but they just can't also like maybe um
pucknosing you know
(17:39):
maybe they don't buy help
maybe I'm going to put more salt in the injury right
uh
maybe there are content in their or the settle for that
why do I have now unravel this whole thing
you know so how in confidence and what
what does your organisation do
(18:01):
okay for me
I believe that um
it takes a village to raise a child and um
I I
I hope that's really dearly to my heart
and followed to the latter
true identity
was born out of a desire to step in and provide
the support for
(18:24):
it started from our Empower Child hawkers outreach
right so
it was one out of the desire to provide support for
our working youngers as
as we call them
um it was a chance for a better life
our mission is an empowered African society
(18:44):
enabled to rise above the clutches of poverty
and um were committed to provide education and
skill empowerments to childhawkers
and young women
it's just about
creating opportunities give them opportunities
(19:04):
the opportunities that they deserve
to grow into who they were meant to be
um creating a path for them to thrive
despite whatever challenges that they're facing
love what we do
and we've been able to create amazing programs
(19:26):
and support so many children
and one thing that's
continues to inspire us is the difference that we make
um there are times that I
struggle with a little bit of regret like
oh my goodness all my life
what did I do in my life it's over a decade now
I'm like by now I know I would have been this
(19:48):
I would have been very rich
cause again most of the fans from the early stage
were with my personal funds
because I didn't believe that
supporting
I just felt like it was a cross for me to carry
and I didn't want to bother any other person
or with that cross I just okay
(20:08):
I had to do it by myself
so I was funding the organisation
and maybe I could have been one of those children
you know
I think that's the change in my story
and in my journey
um it's why I'm here today
um it could have been anyone
anyone can end up as those children
(20:31):
when I look back and I see the children that's we
we empowered the life that they live now
and how some of them are employers of labour
how they're they're helping to support their families
how they're a blessing to the
(20:51):
to the society
because they are contributing in one way or the other
that is more than enough you know
that's that's one thing
that continues to inspire us to keep going
and then that was
that's how I stopped having to regret all my years
(21:13):
and that I put into um running the organization
major challenge
or a major reason why these children are
(21:34):
are on the streets is is
is due to the shifts in Nigeria's economy
that plays a significant role
and we'll talk about the time street children
we don't call them street children
the child hawkers and talking about stigmatizing
whether or not that stigmatizing
(21:56):
it is stigmatizing right
because it labors the children in a way that reduces
um it reduces them to their circumstances
rather than recognizing their potential
so a true a true identity
we don't use that term we call them youngers
society often misunderstands
(22:18):
um um
our youngsters the child hawkers as you mean
they are on the street because of poor um
choices or lack of ambitions mainly
um
we would think of their parents as okay
maybe lazy or
which is not true because like I said earlier
(22:41):
that could have been me can be anyone
just one wrong turn in our lives
we would end up somewhere that's unbelievable
the reality is for um
reality is far more complex
so the stigmatization affects your self worth
your confidence and can limit the opportunities
(23:04):
so when society views them through a negative lens
it becomes harder
for them to assess the support and opportunity
they needs to rise above their challenges
so our focus should be on empowering them
and not lebelling them
when we started the organisation
we um
we used to see an end to child hawking
(23:25):
because actually thought oh my goodness
we can just end this because that's what I wanted
end it now fast you know
for over the years 10 years after
we've not been able to put an end to it
and when you think about this
we think of it it's almost impossible because there's
we have to look at the root causes right
um now we say empower child hawkers
(23:48):
because how do you aim without empowerment
every child that we've worked with
we've tried to empower we
we work with your parents or your guidance
and we reach an agreement to say
we want to support right
we want to work with you to step in
to work with you to empower your child
and we we
(24:08):
we educate them of all the dangers
those children are exposed to
all sorts of abuse on the streets
and then we talk to them about just what we can do
what can we do to support your family
to take this burden off the children
and then most of them would say just education
most of the children are on the streets
(24:29):
just so they can have education
so that they can have food to eat
and then we we give them scholarship
and we're responsible for all the educational needs
and give them extra support when
when we can but every child
that we've accounted for
the longest time now over 10 years love
(24:52):
we supported never return back to the streets
so if there's empowerment
those students would not be on the street
we can't say just end it
what they would cause there's a reason
and if you look at it I will not even
encourage all the children to move into the house
when nothing has been done
because do we want them to die of hunger
(25:13):
I would rather that the child is on the streets
but on
so what we do when we have our outreach every year
we have our Empower Child Hawker's outreach
and when we have those outreaches
we educate the the community
the children
the parents about the dangers of street hawking
and we teach them how to stay safe um
(25:36):
on the streets because we cannot
we can't empower all of those children
but why they're on the streets
these are the things that you need to look out for
while you're on the streets
maybe these are the places that you should not um
you should not step into you
you how to do business safe right
we do all of those things
(25:57):
and then we empower the children
that we can give them scholarship
and those children are out of the street permanently
but those that are on the streets
we empower them to stay safe on the streets
the streets are still exactly
until help comes so
I think the government
it's it's easy
I for a while
(26:17):
I think there's a ban on child hawking
yes and
there was a time that they would even
pick the children up and try to arrest their parents
it doesn't help
it was the alternative to staying at home
some of these children would die of hunger
hmm hmm
and what if
all the children that don't live with their parents
(26:38):
most of those children
don't even live with their parents
they're living with an auntie
or someone who is caring for them
and that's the only way they can get a meal
and you wanna take that away
they would they would hurt them in the house
so we we have to find a balance
we need to empower those children
and get them off the street
and do it in a way that we take them off the street
(27:00):
permanently and give them true empowerment
so our children are in the university
or in secondary schools
we have some children who are learning trade
maybe because your educational foundation is so bad
we can't cope academically
and then we have to create an opportunity
because before now we thought oh
it's just education you have to
(27:22):
you have to be serious you have to go to school
you have to learn education is power
trade and Skills is it's also exactly important
they employ the ones that finish the university
exactly
so now our children
some of our children are thriving just with a skill
they don't have the university education
(27:44):
but they have a skill to lean back to lean back on
and they have a skill to empower themselves
and empower their their families
so it's creating all those opportunities
that's important that's how we address the issue
that's how we take the children of the street
permanently and say that indeed
we've done something good
oh wow
(28:05):
I can I it's like your
your passion for this is just coming out of the zoom
recording to my face and I can feel
I can feel that it's so necessary
not to stigmatize the children
not to criminalize like their family
their environment
and just having a policy is not going to change the
(28:26):
actual needs for back end
empowerment between families
educating your families about
and even making that some
of the children's treat smart
that you can't
you really need strong capacity to be able to get
all these children back integrated into society
and just listen to you I sometimes I
(28:46):
I think because I have a background in um
um charity work as well
and I know that
there are moments where you see things happening
and you're like oh my God
I can't just change that right
there is no magic um
um way or spell or something to just make that right
(29:08):
and you don't have the capacity to do it
how do you because I
I had moments where I just couldn't sleep
because I know oh
there's this place
we have to work and try to empower that woman um
or survival a human trafficking
but we just can't cause we don't have capacity
we don't have enough resources
at that time and I just
there were moments months
(29:30):
where when I have such things
I can't even sleep
and it was like a battle to find peace of mind
to just be like okay
I can't solve the world's problem
you know so how do you ever experience something
did you ever like experience something like that
and and how do you deal with everyday today
(29:51):
tomorrow I'm sure yesterday
of course everyday um
because there's so much one person can do yeah
and no matter how hard we work this
there's a lot that's going on
um I interact with our children
(30:11):
the young women that we serve
the children that we serve um
the stories
the way um
the way they have to live and cope with life
it's it's hard
before now I used to break down a lot emotionally
because I'm like and even blame myself
(30:33):
like maybe I'm not fighting enough
I'm not working hard enough
I'm not doing enough to help them but um
now I find
find comfort in just what we're able to do and
to to know that it's we're all a work in progress and
(30:55):
just to give myself a little bit of Grace as well
to say you're doing enough
you know my pastor once said to me said
you can't do this by yourself
remember that you're in partnership with God
so yo it's it's no
no one person is able to do so much to
(31:17):
to solve the world's problem
and it's something that's
especially with how the economy is right now
things seems to be getting worse and better
most times I just want to lock myself up in
and shut myself away from the word
because I don't want to hear
(31:38):
I don't want to see what's going on because it's
it's hard to deal with
it's very hard so everything that we're able to do we
we do we give it our best
when we encounter a child that needs our help
and we're able to help
we give it 100% and then we celebrate that
(32:01):
and that's that's how I'm like okay
but we did that we couldn't do everything
but at least that's one person that's one more person
and that's that's how the celebrating every single um
positive impact that yes
create is a way of finding peace and
(32:23):
and comfort in the capacity and the work that that
that you do
so you said that um
every child should hear this three words
I love you why do you think
why do you think it's so important
(32:44):
because it's
it's just knowing that someone cares for you and um
knowing that you're loved
when when I talk about love
it's for me
it's how can we love and love unconditionally
(33:05):
where people don't feel
she loves me because I'm nice to her
she loves me because I
I have to do this for her
there's no trading love just I love you
not because you're a good child
not because you're perfect
not because you're smart not because you're nothing
(33:25):
because like I love you we should
that's how I love that's how we should love
I have all these flaws
but I just really want someone to love me
and not worry about my flaws
and not worry about who
who I am or what just all did my
the challenges I've had to face in my own life
(33:47):
that's how it should love and just
just love and let people know
I think we don't say it enough
just say it everyday I love you
you know not for anything
not because it's your birthday
or because I just love you
remind people that you love them
and people and we don't hear that enough
(34:08):
especially in Nigeria people don't think
don't know how important that is
this just is very empowering
just knowing that what is it
just the hearing or other different
ways of showing love
or is that speaking love important
because they could of showing love
(34:31):
so speaking love is important
because people show love
right like growing up
only now I'm trying to understand a lot of things
before now I would
the the times that I really questioned whether
how much my mom really loved me
because she she was a disciplinary and still is
(34:54):
and
and
with all the challenges
and all that was on her shoulders
all that she needed to do for her family
immediate family and extended family
I don't think that's
there was time to remember to say I love you right
but did she love us really yes
she did this those sacrifices
but did we know or did I know as a person like things
(35:18):
yeah because sometimes maybe I needed to hear it
because sometimes how love is communicated is
doesn't look like love
when we correct our children or even our loved ones
when we correct them
it's because we love them that we correct them
but do they understand that
so you have to create that balance to say I love you
but you need to do this
(35:38):
so I create our children even our true identity
all of our children
I think some of them don't think I'm so nice because
yes some things we have values
a lot of things
and because of my own experience and journey
and all that I've been through
I use that as a guide for them to say okay
(35:58):
this this is life is not going to hand you this
you have to fight for your life
education is important all of this dance
but when you communicate that
without that balance
then stop say
you know I love you
I do this out of love because I want you to be great
because I want you to become
who God has created you
to be who you are meant to be
so when you don't communicate that
(36:21):
then there's a vacuum people don't understand
so you caution them
without creating that balance to say
I actually do this because I love you this
so I think that's that's the gap that's
we have and
that's where the misunderstanding is where
where it could be misrepresented in
(36:43):
in in a child's life
so just the action is important
for the words is also important
just saying those words is it easy then too late often
like um
because when you were talking about your mom
I also just remembered
and reflected on the relationship I
(37:04):
I had with my mom and I know that even as an adult
even as an adult with my own child children
I have the I still have this craving to feel
loved yes
you grew up with that idea of she's my mother
so she loves me so this is like a
(37:25):
a primate thinking right
and the thing she does the sacrifices
she feels she makes um
so she loves me but somehow
there is like a vacuum
there that I carried on for a really long time
and the vacuum
it was somehow I don't feel like I'm really just loved
(37:49):
I'm uh yearning looking for that love
it's just something I am looking for
I will feel it
and there's no other person that can give it to me
except that my maternal part of it
you know so um
so I'm I'm now thinking like
is it too late as a mother as a parent
(38:12):
not even just a mother
this applies also to fathers as well um
as a parent is it too late
like after you've done all the hustling and stressing
and you brought up the child and everything
you've made sacrifices and and so on
the child is living somewhere where it's alone
has their own children
is it still possible to fill that vacuum
(38:33):
and now shower them with love
do you think it's still possible
or do you think sometimes
you just get used to that kind of relationship
and then you play down with well
that's the culture right while you still go on uh
feeling a bit of trauma out of that
maybe I'm not so loved right
because it now reflect
(38:53):
and shows in different parts of your life
in your relationship right
you start attaching yourself
the people looking for their validations everywhere
right
so do you think for parents there's still a chance to
compensate or just show that love
let that child know that well
you are loved
(39:14):
obviously it's not too late
so like my mom was in someone who
I don't think that
it was something that she experienced
so how do you transfer what you don't have
how do you give what you don't have
so
she didn't experience that
and she didn't know how to
(39:34):
but I think over time
at
at the later in life right now
like I could send her a message or something
I should say oh
thank you so much my oh
she would say something like
good morning my darling daughter
I'm like oh wow
you know those things give me butterfly
(39:58):
you know so it's not too late to say I love you
we we end cause sometimes and say I love you
and she would say I love you so much
my darling daughter you know
so it's never too late it makes up for a lot of things
those the
the last years are gone we're here now
and we have to make the best use of what's left
(40:20):
of what we have
and whatever moments we can share
we have to give it the best
whether it's with siblings or with our parents
or even with friends just
just share genuine love to everyone in your life
well that's a neighbor
whoever even a stranger
be nice be good and love others like you
(40:43):
love yourself indeed wow yes
now you you just stop that last that last sentence
just reopen something
love others like you love yourself
what if I don't even love myself
what if I don't have some love
and I don't have the capacity to
to give that love you know
this is how how
(41:04):
how do you work on loving yourself
cause when you say love others
I say love yourself if I don't love myself
then I can't even love others yeah
I mean we don't love ourselves
we don't trust the love that we get hmm
so this because I don't love me
when you actually tell me you love me
then I can suspect you and feel like oh
(41:25):
what is she up to because I'm not used to it
so like we're all a work in progress
over time you understand it
for me I had to battle with
when people say I love you
I like do you mean that
what was that even mean you know
but over time
when we have that consistently in our lives
(41:47):
we start to understand and accept it as oh okay
this is real and maybe this is what this is
and then we're able to give it to other people
so we might it's two ends right
we may not be
we may not have the capacity to love other people
because we don't love ourselves
but if we get love from other people over time
(42:11):
we start to um
view that trust and believe that all this is love
and then as soon as we start accepting the love
we're able to give it
at the end of every episode that we go through
three questions
every guest goes through this question
so I'm always excited about the different ways
(42:31):
and a different uh
perspectives to this so number one is
could you name one bold move that you have made
something that you were so scared of for
on the approach to it anyway
I would say it would be true identity really
(42:52):
it would be true identity
at the time I had no idea
I had no skill I had zero skill
but I
I launched the organization um
almost by myself without supports
and just 1 it would be launching it and
2 would be just
(43:14):
um
staying committed and and being consistent
and you have spent a
ood amount of time now on earth
right so
show one of
the most valuable lesson
that you've Learned from all your experiences
(43:34):
I would say I think one is just
maybe trust the process
okay um
have faith in God and just fight for
fight for the life that you want
nothing nothing is going to be handed to you
maybe maybe not
but you have to whether or not is handed to you
(43:58):
you have to fight for the life that you want
you have to ensure that you become who you were
created to be
because it doesn't matter
whether or not you were born
with a silver spoon
a lot of a lot of people will still not live that life
and still find themselves
find their true identity
(44:18):
and become who they were created to be
so
it's actually just fighting for yourself to become who
you were created for
so ensure that you're living the purpose driven life
wow and if everything was handed to you
this is the last question
everything was handed to you
yeah and you had all the resources all the two
(44:43):
yeah what would you be doing
what is it that you will do everyday
true identity and a larger scale
um when we think about children
we think about young green men
so much that they're having to go through that
young girls who do not have a home
who do not have a place that they call home
(45:04):
they don't have a place that they can they don't
they don't have a community that supports them
they're they're having to just without opportunities
is to ensure that that number that's it's limited
that children don't have to be on the streets
I would I would do trade instantly larger scale
(45:24):
and so thank you so much for this session
for this conversations
I really look forward to following your growing
your growth process I'm in the process to growing
finding myself diverting
finding new parts that resonates with me
so I I'm really I was really excited
(45:45):
and I've learnt so much from
from all the from this conversation
thank you so much for taking time
thank you so much for inviting me
I think that's it was a great conversation
hard conversation
it's just so much to think about and remember
but it was good thank you
you have to fight for what you want
my guest today is precious blessing
Ugbekile
nearly 150 million children live on the streets
she is an inspiring entrepreneur
youth advocate humanitarian from Edo State Nigeria
precious blessing Ugbekile
(00:21):
her journey from childhood adversity
to becoming a mentor is powerful
true identity a non profit organization
empowers child hawkers
and young women in Nigeria
through education and skill training
which over a decade of dedication
precious advocates that love
(00:42):
and the right education
are the key to lifting children off the streets
you said that
there are three words that every child should know
should hear and this is I love you
so we're gonna explore that love
for someone listening right now
that's just hearing this and watching us
(01:03):
what do you want them to take
out of this conversation
what I want people to take away
is that life doesn't always give you what you expect
or deserve
often
you have to fight for the life you want
and for the person that you're meant to be
(01:23):
to become
personally
nothing for the longest time was handed to me
I had to fight for everything that I that I had
the journey may be filled with challenges
but is in those moments as you grow
you adapt um
(01:44):
and find your strengths
it's not about waiting
for opportunities to come to you
it's about creating them
and have the resilience to keep going
even when things seem tough
I think that's just
knowing that nobody promised me anything
(02:08):
nobody promised me even tomorrow gives me
it kind it shapes how I leave each day
I know that I'm here when I want something
I have to go get it I will not wait back
I won't stay and wait for it to come to me
so
just knowing that
(02:28):
you have to fight for what you want
for the person that you want to become
you have to put into work as well
I just think that the listeners and the viewers
will be curious to know the space
like how is it growing up in Edo state
I would say growing up
was both challenging and formative
(02:50):
um I was raised in a bustling environment with um
with our home just a short walk from the markets
so life around was
always fast and very busy
people spoke and behaved in ways that mirrored
(03:13):
the vibrant energy of the surrounding
I'm sure you know new Bini yes
yes our house was just
just listen 5 minutes work to the market
so early on
my home was filled with warmth and affection for me
um that early stage
(03:34):
it was a major part of how
what I what I knew who I was
my parents were
they they had a good career
they're quite successful at that time and
and then they faced challenges
that's brought about financial struggle
(03:57):
so that's changed
um that changed the dynamics in my family
you know with
with struggle comes
um change
it affects everything
so I think the struggle brought about that
(04:17):
that change in my family you know
and at that early stage
I didn't fully understand what was happening
what age are we talking about
it was early I think I was about 7
8 years at the time I was really young at the time
I didn't understand
it was as I grew older and with more information
(04:37):
I started to understand you know
parents try to sheed you just it's
it's about what you see at the time I
I knew that they were fighting a lot
and having a lot of disagreements
because it was hard it was hard to manage the home
and you know
again Nigeria
you're not just taking care of your immediate family
(05:01):
there's extended family and sometimes you
you have friends that you have to support as well
so it's a lot that we carry
um as we grow older
and sometimes I just wish
oh I wish I have a baby again
and I don't have to worry about all these things once
yes as we grow older
our responsibilities continue to change we
(05:23):
we we take on more
more than most of the time more than we can handle
were you scared at any time
like as you were growing older
the reality was hitting you that things are changing
of your financial constraints
now you're gonna grow older
we used to get it anytime like
oh my God I'm going to have responsibility
(05:43):
I'm I will have to buckle up or some of course
all the time I was scared
now I'm still scared because in life we
we're becoming right so it's you're not
you're never really ever there to say oh
I am fully here we're becoming
(06:04):
and as we face challenges and uncertainties
there is fear
I'm scared everyday I wake up
I worry about things how it's tomorrow
what would what does tomorrow have to offer
um there a lot of
especially the things that we can't control
(06:25):
is so many things that we can't control
we can't handle it's not in our power
so we live life just trusting God
not fully not having the full picture
you know even when we design our lives
there are things that will redesign our lives for us
(06:45):
so everyday I'm I'm afraid and
and I think this is so universal because um
I experience that as as well
there are some days that of course um
I'm so occupied not to worry yeah
and you're just too busy to be worried
and there are some in those moments
those free spaces
(07:07):
where maybe you have some time to reflect
then you stop worrying about all things
and even the things out of your control
how can we manage this worry
because anxiety is real right
so how can we manage this to now stay or
and to still leave our propose
(07:28):
don't get distracted by the worries and the fault
but still find your partner
um according to probably your propose
or what you're looking how do you manage this
uh for me I would say it's um
it's having faith in God
(07:49):
I that's that's the biggest for me
whatever
like sometimes I feel like I can do it by myself
and I'm quick to be reminded I cannot
and then I have to go back to God
I have to trust him I
I have faith I have deep faith in god and also um
(08:13):
it commitments to continues to continuously um
develop myself self development is
is also something that I lean on
I really appreciate the fact that you are saying
reduce on the burden true faith
so from people it could be um
(08:34):
true therapy or talking to someone
or talking to family member
you know on the other side
do do does it feel or maybe not for you
but generally it
does it sound somehow like not taking responsibility
just relying on um
I don't have control about everything um
(08:56):
many things are out of my control so um
let me take the day as it comes
you know not really owning
maybe once own part in the whole story
you know yeah
as it leads to that as it leads to that
no not for me
because for me I have to do all that
(09:19):
I can do all that is possible within my power to do
and then I then I can trust god
so I don't say just wake up and say
oh god let your will be done today and go to bed
no of course not
you have to put in the work
like give it your 99% first and then say
let your will be done
because no matter how hard you work
(09:41):
no matter what you do
there are things that are totally out of your control
that you would still go south or you
you can't control them so it's you um
put in the work first applying yourself
giving us your best do what you have to do
and then asking that his will be done in everything
(10:02):
they're just there there there
there are steps to follow for
for everything in life I
I think that has been laid out already well
we just need to search we need to find
it's like finding your way
you are on a streets you have to ask questions
you look you have to read a map
whatever you have to do
you have to do it first and then trust that God okay
(10:23):
I'm going to now take this road
that seems like the right road right
and whatever happens
you have to live with it somehow
knowing that you have played your own role
you played your own path
and what I'm hearing is like
reduce the burden by trusting and um
trust in the process
do your best be proactive do what you can do um
(10:47):
that's between your control
started an organization called True Identity
years ago and
True Identity just listen to the name
now taking back also to your story where you said
(11:11):
you constantly had this worry out okay
the hardship now that has come into my life
maybe this could prevent me from actually
finding my true identity
and you constantly stop thinking about it
first of all as a young person
why this thoughts or this fear of like
you might not be who you're meant to be and
(11:33):
and did the situation then really shape
if not
how did you come to really finding your true identity
I think that um
you know when things are different for you yeah
when we have friends we have family members
(11:53):
we see
we see how they're living
where they're coming from we
with their families when yours is different
you know you know oh
maybe this is not how it's meant to be
maybe my case is different
so the opportunities that you have
that's different from for example
I live just next to the market square right
(12:16):
and you know when
people are living somewhere else
you know when their parents are doing fine
you know when
when it's like with even with your friends
when you talk about their families
and you hear them and you feel like oh
what's wrong with my home
so I think I knew the things were different
and I worried a little I worried for a while I could
(12:37):
I didn't even dare to dream big dreams
because I didn't see more than my environment
for me was this is what I have
this what's in front of me
and again I think it's good and bad right
because good in a sense that's from a young age
we learnt how to be content
hmm just whatever we were handed was just okay
(12:58):
and that child and never used to ask for more
never used to ask for presents
Christmas clothes or anything
you know it's it's good but again
it takes away ambition
you're happy where you are wherever you are
you don't want to fight for more
you don't want to I still struggle with that
I'm very content you know
(13:19):
I wake up I'm happy
little things is enough for me okay
so like settling
settling for exactly feels feels like settling yeah
but the status quo you
you still find a way to use yourself
and then
you kept passing by the children at the market
(13:40):
on the street
you see them selling fruits and you know
and it would have been in your comfort zone to well
they're not your relatives
so why would you go out of your comfort zone
already struggling with yourself
why would you go out of the comfort zone
to start talking to them
or want to know more about them
you know what
what motivated you to do that
(14:03):
I would say it's it's a part of my own journey okay
just the lack of opportunities that I experienced
and not having a voice
and not having someone to
to step in and and um
(14:25):
kind of that pillar that you need to
to try if I didn't have that
and
I just didn't want another child to experience that
even though I didn't have the capacity to do with
but for me
I was like this always something that we can all do
we can we can all try at the time I
(14:48):
I had zero almost zero capacity
but I had me
and I thought I was enough because I thought
just be encouraging them at the time
which do something for them
you know I would buy things from those children
and leave my change for them and
and then I would buy as much as I could
(15:09):
I went for kids
for them and talk to my colleagues and say oh
this fruit is so nice do you want to buy some
you know I
I thought that was enough
cause I was all I had to give
and I wanted to just feeling that vacuum that I
that I thought that he had cause I had it in me
(15:30):
you know and
and look I was looking at myself at that time
to say I'm fighting for my life
for the future that I want
and I still feel like this
I still feel cannot believe be empty
I still have this vacuum in my life
I still I'm struggling with a lot of things
how about this children
the children that just own the streets and um
(15:56):
experiencing heart shape having to
to move from one destination to another
um under the sun
under the rain and just not having a choice
I didn't want that and I thought I can do something
(16:16):
and I was like I would try
if it doesn't work I will know that I tried that
I think that's something that I live by
when it comes to
when I experience the things that I can't stand
you know my heart will not let me
the things that my heart really beat for when it
when it has to do with other people
I think more than fighting for myself I
(16:37):
I know how to fight for others
and when I have that opportunity
before I think through it
cause I wasn't thinking through it
a lot of things could have happened
there are some homes that we went to
that was a little bit crazy
but I wasn't thinking about it
for me I just jump
but like I really want to help and I'm not afraid when
when I'm helping someone else
(16:59):
wow see that's
that's just empathy so comfortable
it's so easy to just turn a blind eye
to look the other way and be like
please I have my uh
luggage to carry um
it takes some it needs so much courage
(17:19):
so much empathy so much love
that world needs more
actually look into someone else's situation
especially those people that people treat us outcast
right I know
there are people out there that might feel
motivated to do something
but they just can't also like maybe um
pucknosing you know
(17:39):
maybe they don't buy help
maybe I'm going to put more salt in the injury right
uh
maybe there are content in their or the settle for that
why do I have now unravel this whole thing
you know so how in confidence and what
what does your organisation do
(18:01):
okay for me
I believe that um
it takes a village to raise a child and um
I I
I hope that's really dearly to my heart
and followed to the latter
true identity
was born out of a desire to step in and provide
the support for
(18:24):
it started from our Empower Child hawkers outreach
right so
it was one out of the desire to provide support for
our working youngers as
as we call them
um it was a chance for a better life
our mission is an empowered African society
(18:44):
enabled to rise above the clutches of poverty
and um were committed to provide education and
skill empowerments to childhawkers
and young women
it's just about
creating opportunities give them opportunities
(19:04):
the opportunities that they deserve
to grow into who they were meant to be
um creating a path for them to thrive
despite whatever challenges that they're facing
love what we do
and we've been able to create amazing programs
(19:26):
and support so many children
and one thing that's
continues to inspire us is the difference that we make
um there are times that I
struggle with a little bit of regret like
oh my goodness all my life
what did I do in my life it's over a decade now
I'm like by now I know I would have been this
(19:48):
I would have been very rich
cause again most of the fans from the early stage
were with my personal funds
because I didn't believe that
supporting
I just felt like it was a cross for me to carry
and I didn't want to bother any other person
or with that cross I just okay
(20:08):
I had to do it by myself
so I was funding the organisation
and maybe I could have been one of those children
you know
I think that's the change in my story
and in my journey
um it's why I'm here today
um it could have been anyone
anyone can end up as those children
(20:31):
when I look back and I see the children that's we
we empowered the life that they live now
and how some of them are employers of labour
how they're they're helping to support their families
how they're a blessing to the
(20:51):
to the society
because they are contributing in one way or the other
that is more than enough you know
that's that's one thing
that continues to inspire us to keep going
and then that was
that's how I stopped having to regret all my years
(21:13):
and that I put into um running the organization
major challenge
or a major reason why these children are
(21:34):
are on the streets is is
is due to the shifts in Nigeria's economy
that plays a significant role
and we'll talk about the time street children
we don't call them street children
the child hawkers and talking about stigmatizing
whether or not that stigmatizing
(21:56):
it is stigmatizing right
because it labors the children in a way that reduces
um it reduces them to their circumstances
rather than recognizing their potential
so a true a true identity
we don't use that term we call them youngers
society often misunderstands
(22:18):
um um
our youngsters the child hawkers as you mean
they are on the street because of poor um
choices or lack of ambitions mainly
um
we would think of their parents as okay
maybe lazy or
which is not true because like I said earlier
(22:41):
that could have been me can be anyone
just one wrong turn in our lives
we would end up somewhere that's unbelievable
the reality is for um
reality is far more complex
so the stigmatization affects your self worth
your confidence and can limit the opportunities
(23:04):
so when society views them through a negative lens
it becomes harder
for them to assess the support and opportunity
they needs to rise above their challenges
so our focus should be on empowering them
and not lebelling them
when we started the organisation
we um
we used to see an end to child hawking
(23:25):
because actually thought oh my goodness
we can just end this because that's what I wanted
end it now fast you know
for over the years 10 years after
we've not been able to put an end to it
and when you think about this
we think of it it's almost impossible because there's
we have to look at the root causes right
um now we say empower child hawkers
(23:48):
because how do you aim without empowerment
every child that we've worked with
we've tried to empower we
we work with your parents or your guidance
and we reach an agreement to say
we want to support right
we want to work with you to step in
to work with you to empower your child
and we we
(24:08):
we educate them of all the dangers
those children are exposed to
all sorts of abuse on the streets
and then we talk to them about just what we can do
what can we do to support your family
to take this burden off the children
and then most of them would say just education
most of the children are on the streets
(24:29):
just so they can have education
so that they can have food to eat
and then we we give them scholarship
and we're responsible for all the educational needs
and give them extra support when
when we can but every child
that we've accounted for
the longest time now over 10 years love
(24:52):
we supported never return back to the streets
so if there's empowerment
those students would not be on the street
we can't say just end it
what they would cause there's a reason
and if you look at it I will not even
encourage all the children to move into the house
when nothing has been done
because do we want them to die of hunger
(25:13):
I would rather that the child is on the streets
but on
so what we do when we have our outreach every year
we have our Empower Child Hawker's outreach
and when we have those outreaches
we educate the the community
the children
the parents about the dangers of street hawking
and we teach them how to stay safe um
(25:36):
on the streets because we cannot
we can't empower all of those children
but why they're on the streets
these are the things that you need to look out for
while you're on the streets
maybe these are the places that you should not um
you should not step into you
you how to do business safe right
we do all of those things
(25:57):
and then we empower the children
that we can give them scholarship
and those children are out of the street permanently
but those that are on the streets
we empower them to stay safe on the streets
the streets are still exactly
until help comes so
I think the government
it's it's easy
I for a while
(26:17):
I think there's a ban on child hawking
yes and
there was a time that they would even
pick the children up and try to arrest their parents
it doesn't help
it was the alternative to staying at home
some of these children would die of hunger
hmm hmm
and what if
all the children that don't live with their parents
(26:38):
most of those children
don't even live with their parents
they're living with an auntie
or someone who is caring for them
and that's the only way they can get a meal
and you wanna take that away
they would they would hurt them in the house
so we we have to find a balance
we need to empower those children
and get them off the street
and do it in a way that we take them off the street
(27:00):
permanently and give them true empowerment
so our children are in the university
or in secondary schools
we have some children who are learning trade
maybe because your educational foundation is so bad
we can't cope academically
and then we have to create an opportunity
because before now we thought oh
it's just education you have to
(27:22):
you have to be serious you have to go to school
you have to learn education is power
trade and Skills is it's also exactly important
they employ the ones that finish the university
exactly
so now our children
some of our children are thriving just with a skill
they don't have the university education
(27:44):
but they have a skill to lean back to lean back on
and they have a skill to empower themselves
and empower their their families
so it's creating all those opportunities
that's important that's how we address the issue
that's how we take the children of the street
permanently and say that indeed
we've done something good
oh wow
(28:05):
I can I it's like your
your passion for this is just coming out of the zoom
recording to my face and I can feel
I can feel that it's so necessary
not to stigmatize the children
not to criminalize like their family
their environment
and just having a policy is not going to change the
(28:26):
actual needs for back end
empowerment between families
educating your families about
and even making that some
of the children's treat smart
that you can't
you really need strong capacity to be able to get
all these children back integrated into society
and just listen to you I sometimes I
(28:46):
I think because I have a background in um
um charity work as well
and I know that
there are moments where you see things happening
and you're like oh my God
I can't just change that right
there is no magic um
um way or spell or something to just make that right
(29:08):
and you don't have the capacity to do it
how do you because I
I had moments where I just couldn't sleep
because I know oh
there's this place
we have to work and try to empower that woman um
or survival a human trafficking
but we just can't cause we don't have capacity
we don't have enough resources
at that time and I just
there were moments months
(29:30):
where when I have such things
I can't even sleep
and it was like a battle to find peace of mind
to just be like okay
I can't solve the world's problem
you know so how do you ever experience something
did you ever like experience something like that
and and how do you deal with everyday today
(29:51):
tomorrow I'm sure yesterday
of course everyday um
because there's so much one person can do yeah
and no matter how hard we work this
there's a lot that's going on
um I interact with our children
(30:11):
the young women that we serve
the children that we serve um
the stories
the way um
the way they have to live and cope with life
it's it's hard
before now I used to break down a lot emotionally
because I'm like and even blame myself
(30:33):
like maybe I'm not fighting enough
I'm not working hard enough
I'm not doing enough to help them but um
now I find
find comfort in just what we're able to do and
to to know that it's we're all a work in progress and
(30:55):
just to give myself a little bit of Grace as well
to say you're doing enough
you know my pastor once said to me said
you can't do this by yourself
remember that you're in partnership with God
so yo it's it's no
no one person is able to do so much to
(31:17):
to solve the world's problem
and it's something that's
especially with how the economy is right now
things seems to be getting worse and better
most times I just want to lock myself up in
and shut myself away from the word
because I don't want to hear
(31:38):
I don't want to see what's going on because it's
it's hard to deal with
it's very hard so everything that we're able to do we
we do we give it our best
when we encounter a child that needs our help
and we're able to help
we give it 100% and then we celebrate that
(32:01):
and that's that's how I'm like okay
but we did that we couldn't do everything
but at least that's one person that's one more person
and that's that's how the celebrating every single um
positive impact that yes
create is a way of finding peace and
(32:23):
and comfort in the capacity and the work that that
that you do
so you said that um
every child should hear this three words
I love you why do you think
why do you think it's so important
(32:44):
because it's
it's just knowing that someone cares for you and um
knowing that you're loved
when when I talk about love
it's for me
it's how can we love and love unconditionally
(33:05):
where people don't feel
she loves me because I'm nice to her
she loves me because I
I have to do this for her
there's no trading love just I love you
not because you're a good child
not because you're perfect
not because you're smart not because you're nothing
(33:25):
because like I love you we should
that's how I love that's how we should love
I have all these flaws
but I just really want someone to love me
and not worry about my flaws
and not worry about who
who I am or what just all did my
the challenges I've had to face in my own life
(33:47):
that's how it should love and just
just love and let people know
I think we don't say it enough
just say it everyday I love you
you know not for anything
not because it's your birthday
or because I just love you
remind people that you love them
and people and we don't hear that enough
(34:08):
especially in Nigeria people don't think
don't know how important that is
this just is very empowering
just knowing that what is it
just the hearing or other different
ways of showing love
or is that speaking love important
because they could of showing love
(34:31):
so speaking love is important
because people show love
right like growing up
only now I'm trying to understand a lot of things
before now I would
the the times that I really questioned whether
how much my mom really loved me
because she she was a disciplinary and still is
(34:54):
and
and
with all the challenges
and all that was on her shoulders
all that she needed to do for her family
immediate family and extended family
I don't think that's
there was time to remember to say I love you right
but did she love us really yes
she did this those sacrifices
but did we know or did I know as a person like things
(35:18):
yeah because sometimes maybe I needed to hear it
because sometimes how love is communicated is
doesn't look like love
when we correct our children or even our loved ones
when we correct them
it's because we love them that we correct them
but do they understand that
so you have to create that balance to say I love you
but you need to do this
(35:38):
so I create our children even our true identity
all of our children
I think some of them don't think I'm so nice because
yes some things we have values
a lot of things
and because of my own experience and journey
and all that I've been through
I use that as a guide for them to say okay
(35:58):
this this is life is not going to hand you this
you have to fight for your life
education is important all of this dance
but when you communicate that
without that balance
then stop say
you know I love you
I do this out of love because I want you to be great
because I want you to become
who God has created you
to be who you are meant to be
so when you don't communicate that
(36:21):
then there's a vacuum people don't understand
so you caution them
without creating that balance to say
I actually do this because I love you this
so I think that's that's the gap that's
we have and
that's where the misunderstanding is where
where it could be misrepresented in
(36:43):
in in a child's life
so just the action is important
for the words is also important
just saying those words is it easy then too late often
like um
because when you were talking about your mom
I also just remembered
and reflected on the relationship I
(37:04):
I had with my mom and I know that even as an adult
even as an adult with my own child children
I have the I still have this craving to feel
loved yes
you grew up with that idea of she's my mother
so she loves me so this is like a
(37:25):
a primate thinking right
and the thing she does the sacrifices
she feels she makes um
so she loves me but somehow
there is like a vacuum
there that I carried on for a really long time
and the vacuum
it was somehow I don't feel like I'm really just loved
(37:49):
I'm uh yearning looking for that love
it's just something I am looking for
I will feel it
and there's no other person that can give it to me
except that my maternal part of it
you know so um
so I'm I'm now thinking like
is it too late as a mother as a parent
(38:12):
not even just a mother
this applies also to fathers as well um
as a parent is it too late
like after you've done all the hustling and stressing
and you brought up the child and everything
you've made sacrifices and and so on
the child is living somewhere where it's alone
has their own children
is it still possible to fill that vacuum
(38:33):
and now shower them with love
do you think it's still possible
or do you think sometimes
you just get used to that kind of relationship
and then you play down with well
that's the culture right while you still go on uh
feeling a bit of trauma out of that
maybe I'm not so loved right
because it now reflect
(38:53):
and shows in different parts of your life
in your relationship right
you start attaching yourself
the people looking for their validations everywhere
right
so do you think for parents there's still a chance to
compensate or just show that love
let that child know that well
you are loved
(39:14):
obviously it's not too late
so like my mom was in someone who
I don't think that
it was something that she experienced
so how do you transfer what you don't have
how do you give what you don't have
so
she didn't experience that
and she didn't know how to
(39:34):
but I think over time
at
at the later in life right now
like I could send her a message or something
I should say oh
thank you so much my oh
she would say something like
good morning my darling daughter
I'm like oh wow
you know those things give me butterfly
(39:58):
you know so it's not too late to say I love you
we we end cause sometimes and say I love you
and she would say I love you so much
my darling daughter you know
so it's never too late it makes up for a lot of things
those the
the last years are gone we're here now
and we have to make the best use of what's left
(40:20):
of what we have
and whatever moments we can share
we have to give it the best
whether it's with siblings or with our parents
or even with friends just
just share genuine love to everyone in your life
well that's a neighbor
whoever even a stranger
be nice be good and love others like you
(40:43):
love yourself indeed wow yes
now you you just stop that last that last sentence
just reopen something
love others like you love yourself
what if I don't even love myself
what if I don't have some love
and I don't have the capacity to
to give that love you know
this is how how
(41:04):
how do you work on loving yourself
cause when you say love others
I say love yourself if I don't love myself
then I can't even love others yeah
I mean we don't love ourselves
we don't trust the love that we get hmm
so this because I don't love me
when you actually tell me you love me
then I can suspect you and feel like oh
(41:25):
what is she up to because I'm not used to it
so like we're all a work in progress
over time you understand it
for me I had to battle with
when people say I love you
I like do you mean that
what was that even mean you know
but over time
when we have that consistently in our lives
(41:47):
we start to understand and accept it as oh okay
this is real and maybe this is what this is
and then we're able to give it to other people
so we might it's two ends right
we may not be
we may not have the capacity to love other people
because we don't love ourselves
but if we get love from other people over time
(42:11):
we start to um
view that trust and believe that all this is love
and then as soon as we start accepting the love
we're able to give it
at the end of every episode that we go through
three questions
every guest goes through this question
so I'm always excited about the different ways
(42:31):
and a different uh
perspectives to this so number one is
could you name one bold move that you have made
something that you were so scared of for
on the approach to it anyway
I would say it would be true identity really
(42:52):
it would be true identity
at the time I had no idea
I had no skill I had zero skill
but I
I launched the organization um
almost by myself without supports
and just 1 it would be launching it and
2 would be just
(43:14):
um
staying committed and and being consistent
and you have spent a
ood amount of time now on earth
right so
show one of
the most valuable lesson
that you've Learned from all your experiences
(43:34):
I would say I think one is just
maybe trust the process
okay um
have faith in God and just fight for
fight for the life that you want
nothing nothing is going to be handed to you
maybe maybe not
but you have to whether or not is handed to you
(43:58):
you have to fight for the life that you want
you have to ensure that you become who you were
created to be
because it doesn't matter
whether or not you were born
with a silver spoon
a lot of a lot of people will still not live that life
and still find themselves
find their true identity
(44:18):
and become who they were created to be
so
it's actually just fighting for yourself to become who
you were created for
so ensure that you're living the purpose driven life
wow and if everything was handed to you
this is the last question
everything was handed to you
yeah and you had all the resources all the two
(44:43):
yeah what would you be doing
what is it that you will do everyday
true identity and a larger scale
um when we think about children
we think about young green men
so much that they're having to go through that
young girls who do not have a home
who do not have a place that they call home
(45:04):
they don't have a place that they can they don't
they don't have a community that supports them
they're they're having to just without opportunities
is to ensure that that number that's it's limited
that children don't have to be on the streets
I would I would do trade instantly larger scale
(45:24):
and so thank you so much for this session
for this conversations
I really look forward to following your growing
your growth process I'm in the process to growing
finding myself diverting
finding new parts that resonates with me
so I I'm really I was really excited
(45:45):
and I've learnt so much from
from all the from this conversation
thank you so much for taking time
thank you so much for inviting me
I think that's it was a great conversation
hard conversation
it's just so much to think about and remember
but it was good thank you
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