Episode #10: "The Valley 500: Wine Country Edition" (S2 E4)

🎙️ This week on Bravoholics Anonymous, we’re uncorking a bottle of chaos as The Valley gang heads to wine country—and surprise! Jax is not in attendance. He’s checked into a mental health facility, but that doesn’t stop him from lighting up Brittany’s phone like it’s a sponsored text chain.

While Jax is spiraling off-camera, Michelle and Jesse are fighting (again), and the group decides to channel their tension into... racing cars in Santa Barbara wine country. Yes, the vibes are off. And yes, we’re here for every second of it.

🚨 Thomas is back, tonsils intact, and we dive into some of our favorite recurring segments:

• 🥂 Bravo & Hell No – the slay moments and the red flag disasters

• 👹 Demonic Behavior – where we name and shame the most chaotic act of the episode

• 💬 Bravo Wisdom – where Thomas serves you the most unhinged one-liners pretending to be life advice

We also revisit our Valley 500 energy from TikTok, break down what’s really going on between Jesse & Michelle, and ask the real questions like: what IS the wine-to-rage ratio in this group?

💥 Episode Highlights:

• Jax goes full ghost but won’t stop texting

• Michelle & Jesse’s ex-relationship hits yet another pothole

• The gang hits the race track

• Santa Barbara gets a Bravo-style group trip makeover

• Thomas returns post-surgery, somehow wiser (and hornier for chaos)

• Janet and Zack... forgive but don't forget

📱 SEO Tags / Hashtags:

#TheValleyBravo #JaxTaylor #BrittanyCartwright #BravoPodcast #RealityTVRecap #BravoholicsAnonymous #SantaBarbaraWineTrip #DemonicBehavior #BravoWisdom #Valley500 #MichelleSaniei #JesseLazer #GroupChatChaos

🎧 Subscribe now and spiral with us every week—we’re your favorite support group for Bravo addiction.

💌 Follow Lindsay @filmakeher on TikTok & Instagram 🔔 Weekly Meetings 

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Hi, everybody.
My name is Lindsay, and I'm a bravo holic.
You're preaching to the choir.
Bravo, Bravo, bravo!
Honey, you have to stop saying that.
stupid enough to give it up.
But, So we.
I was just saying how like lait is that, None.

(00:28):
And ironically,we're talking with the Valley
where they all have kids, but like,none of my friends have kids, and and,
like, two of them,my friend Serge and his wife Nicole,
and my friend Philand his wife, Rosie have kids.
We'll kid, you know, they're so busy with kid
that you just never hear from themunless I can get Phil producing

(00:52):
something or over here on the podcasthe was on Meet my Friends.
Yeah, because we eachhave one kid, not multiple.
Right?
So there's huge time.
I put my Metamucil in my matcha today,
so hopefullythat is the smart thing to do.

(01:12):
Well, I don't know,it said on the back of the package.
So I was on Skinny Talkand this is like a trigger warning
I guess for anyone that has issueswith skinny talk because it's quite toxic.
But yeah, but it it's a bunch of womensharing how they stay skinny
and like talking about their dayand like it's transparent and interesting.

(01:34):
And the most common thingI see is like, oh, fiber, fiber, fiber.
Most people do not get enough fiber.
And most peoplethat are having a hard time like shedding
some weight, are fiber can really helpif they're doing all the other things.
Right. And so I was like,I'm going to get Metamucil.

(01:55):
So here we go.
I'll I'll let everyone know.
What,
oh my God. My.

(02:17):
You got it.
I'm so excited for you.
This is being an adult. And, like,what are there?
You don't have any other responsibilities?
Like by the ice maker.
Yeah. You.
Just.
That's right.

(02:38):
Because you're soon,you're going to have an elaborate
gay wedding to have to, you know, afford.
Well, we'll use your ice maker
and we'll store the ice for monthsbefore the wedding so that you have.
Yeah.
So we don't have to ask the venue

(02:59):
to use their ice makerthat's included with the venue.
The ice.
If you got married
today and you and money
wasn't an object,what kind of wedding would you have?

(03:33):
You. That's a good idea.
Well, what are you going to say?
Finish your thought.
Once.

(03:55):
You see this?
I do want a Vanderpump date.

(04:15):
I saw someone shared a montagethe other day from that.
And it's Jax going around to, like.
Oh, no.
It was a clip from WatchWhat Happens Live.
Let me start over.
So I the other day, actually,on that topic, I saw an older clip
from Watch What Happens Live with AndyCohen was talking
to Brittany on the show,

(04:37):
and he showed a montage of Jaxgoing around to her family members
and telling them that she lost her spark.
Have you seen that?
It's maybe it's coming upbefore the wedding.
Yeah, because it's in her hometownand he goes around, he tells her grandma

(05:00):
and her like, mom and dad.
And I'm like,
could you imagine that your partnerthat you're planning a wedding
with goes around your family and tells himall that you've lost your spark?
Was thatbefore the wedding or after the wedding?
When they take Kentucky and make a.

(05:24):
Oh, maybe that was.
So long that
I wish they said something.
But how could they? How could they?
They met in Vegas.
And I'm sure he was.
You saw young Jax.
He was a hot piece of ass,and he got whatever he wanted.

(05:47):
And he saw sweet Brittany,
who was like an unpainted
canvas and also worked at Hooters
and probably had nice feet,which is the holy trinity for Jax Taylor.
Tits and tits.
Malleable and controllable and nice feet,because that's.

(06:08):
He does.
Does he?
No, no King shaming.
Honestly, foot footguys are probably the easiest.
Like, oh, you don't have to do anything.

(06:28):
He like. Who cares? That's whatever.
Like, honestly can imagine the othertype of kinks they come home with.
I'd rather I take a foot person any day.

(06:49):
should I should I tell you somethingreally interesting?
In the pandemic,I was working at a restaurant
and for monthsI had no access to unemployment.
I'd just finishedworking on a show in December.
I went to, like, Disney World in January.
I got Covid before we knew what Covid was.
And then I started workingat the restaurant in Glendale again

(07:14):
that we worked at together for a minute.
I was there for literallylike a month and a half,
and then everythingshut down for the pandemic.
So ends because the the messed up my hourswhen they recorded
something with the city or the governmentor whatever, there was a discrepancy.
So they held my unemploymentand I had to keep trying to fight it.

(07:37):
But everyone in the city
was trying to call unemployment servicesbecause of the pandemic,
so I couldn't get through.
So for eight months I didn't have anycheck or money coming in.
And so I had to hustle.
I started businesses, I had a onlineassisting agency that I started.
I launched my production company, and I

(07:58):
created a TikTok account
about feet, and my plan was
my plan was
the account is was called Footsie Girl.
And I don't know, it was just likesitting on the couch with my roommate.
One day I'm like, okay,what can I do to make money?
And I also did Shipt deliveries.
I was doing everything I coulddo, risking my life as far as we knew,

(08:23):
because we thoughtwe were sanitizing groceries
and stripping down in the hallwaybefore we came in the apartment.
This is early pandemic,
and so I was like, oh, I'm going to starta foot account and I'll sell foot stuff
because that was like, this is, you know,this is five years ago.
This was on the cutting edge of it
before every other Tom,Dick and Harry got involved in it.
And now it'sso oversaturated and terrible.

(08:45):
But I was like, oh, that's a great idea.
Even though TikTok is so censoredand so hard to, like, work around.
And I remember I shot a videowhere I baked a chocolate cake
with like, like devil's food cake,
and I just got the set at targetand I walked in the cake.

(09:06):
I was like,
someone's going to like this, so let's
someone's going to.
Someone is going to like mewalking on a chocolate cake.
Yeah, but it didn't.
It didn't really.
It didn't take off the way I'd hoped.
I had this plan.Can I tell you what my plan was?
Because I didn't want to really interactwith with people.

(09:28):
Like,I didn't want to like a lot of these,
like,a lot of sex workers will use certain apps
and stuff like that,and they'll interact with clients,
and that's how they do transactions andall this crap. I didn't want to do that.
I'm like, how can I make this like,factory systematic?
And so I,
I was like, I'm going to make a websitethat does drops

(09:49):
and you get custom Polaroidsmailed to you, but you pay a subscription,
like you just opt in
and then you're going to get an envelopewith like pictures of feet.
And then I can go around
and I can pay my girlfriendsand let them take pictures of their feet.
So it's always differentand it's always original. But.
I mean, if I build a business plan,if I do anything, I build a business plan.

(10:12):
I, I feel like you'rejust wasting your time if you don't.
So that was my strategyand I didn't see a market for it.
Like I saw
people that were like texting photosor going on like there's like this website
where people
I don't know, you have a foot profileor something.
I don't even remember it.
But I was probably, you know, smokinga joint when I looked at that website.

(10:33):
But, yeah, no, it didn't work out.
It turns out that they're all a painin the ass, and they just want to like,
they have other kinks and stuff,and I didn't.
I just wanted to sell pictures of feet.
And it wasn't so simple.
snowball quickly.

(11:08):
TV now.
He's like.
You're so
wonderful.

(11:31):
He's it's he's horrible.
Yeah. Oh, there.
There were signs.
I think it's I think the parallels to
how he remember when Stassi dumped himand he showed up in Big
Bear and, like, got the tattoo and was,like, begging to get her back.
Remember that?

(11:53):
I think that the way he talks about.
I'm doing everything you asked, like,as if there's like a honeydew list
to accomplish, and then she'll forgive himthe way he communicates
in that situation is identicalto how he's talking about Brittany
in some of these podcasts.

(12:17):
Although I would love some Bravo wisdom.
Some of us.
Hope
Bravo is to.

(12:39):
Say. She's.

(12:59):
Looking at.
Bravo!
Wisdom. Wisdom.
Wisdom. us.
season four, episode seven.
They take a boxing class

(13:26):
Prevail.
Or is for any me?
Oh, you.
Over. Too.

(14:09):
I love that I TikTok cut like if last week
I posted a TikTok begging Kristen Dotyto bring back the Witches of
WeHo wine.
I it's amazing.
And I never got a bottle,and I really want one.
So I was like, please, pleasebring it back.
Now that you're famousand you're on TV again, please. So

(14:34):
I just loved it.
I love the concept.
And then someone commentedthat you could still buy it, like,
but it's not, it's not the same.
Like it's not from them.
It's from like some spirit companythat has it on their website.
I mean, I still buy it.
Okay, fine.
I just want to drink it.
But I wanted I wanted to buy it.
Now I've never bought it.I've never tried it.

(14:55):
I'm sure it's average like I tried.
Lisa Vanderpump's rosé. I.
It was okay.
I it's nothing I crave.
It's wine. Like at the end of the day.
Good wine is wine.
I'm not very particular.
Like, I just don't like bad wine. So.

(15:18):
But average wine is good wine.
It's fine.
I know, I know, I love it.
It's like. It's like Lisa. It's like

(15:41):
we got tocome up with a name for this restaurant.
Maybe it needs to be sexy.
You know?
It needs to be unique. It needs to.
Sexy, unique restaurant.
Sir, will you take your mistress?
Yeah.

(16:03):
Stop it.
I love how she talks to her dogs.
Sometimes. Okay.
This this this thing.
It's called cute aggression.
And you feel it in the back of your teethwhen you see something really cute
and you just horror.

(16:26):
I know, but she's a model.
She was a model for years, so maybe, likeI picture she's a British model, right?
And I picture like Austin Powers.
Remember that scene where Austin Powershas the camera and he's, like,
taking the picture of the mommy's, like,girl, you're a sexy animal.
You're a.
That's how I picturethis is how I picture.
The photographers talked to Lisa

(16:47):
when she was in music videosand doing shoots back in the day,
and so that has translated into likea hilarious communication with her cute
little ponies and her swan's like hankie,the swan and her Little Ponies.
I want little ponies like Lisa.
Those things are darling.
I want to rescue donkeysand miniature ponies.

(17:07):
And I want them just to frolicall around my estate in Malibu.
Yeah,
I think that'd be great.
Well, let's get on topic.
We're here to talk aboutthis episode of The Valley, and I loved,
loved, loved this episode.
I think I was texting you while you wereat work about how obsessed I was with it.

(17:29):
I think at one pointI fell in love with Jesse.
I can't believe that happened.
And then moments later, that left.
I mean, I think his nudityhad a lot to do with it.
Like, I was just really
maybe I was ovulating that day,but I thought he looked great.
And I was like, oh my God, like,who cares if this man is flawed?
He's smart and he's naked.

(17:51):
But his smartness is bad.
Smartnessbecause he's manipulative as hell.
And I still can't believepeople are coming down on Michelle online
like she I don't I,I know that nobody's perfect and
this divorce is going to get really messy,but I just can't believe it.
All these women are like
condemning Michelle.

(18:13):
We've seen how Jesse's moving.
It's crazy.
And imagine living with someone like thatand having to raise
a child all by yourselfand have to deal with him coming home.
You know?

(18:41):
Maybe it'll get to that point.
I saw a clip, on a future episode of Britney saying
something about Jax and, like.
Or, said something about Danny and Nia,
and then the clip was Niabasically going to Britney?
Oh, so you're upset with your relationshipwith Jax, so that's okay.
It's okay for you to say something aboutmy marriage.

(19:03):
And I was like.
I mean, I'll get into it.
I'm a little bitI'm a little bit angry, Brittany.
But let's, you know, firstwe should clarify.
Last week we talked about favoriteand shocking our favorite moments
in the most shocking moments for usin the episodes that we watched.

(19:25):
I think we're going to officially callthose Bravo moments or hell,
no momentsthat way it sounds a little bit more fun.
And on brand.
So we have we each
have three Bravo moments and three hellno moments, and maybe those will overlap.
Maybe they won't, but it'll kind of guideus as we're talking about the episode

(19:45):
and what we enjoyed about it, becausewe don't want to recap the whole episode.
I know there's other podcaststhat do that,
and let's that'swhat the feedback we get from listeners.
They want us to do that.
And we don't want to likejust skim over stuff either,
because we're obsessedand we want to talk about the show.
Ice break.
Sorry.
What? sounds expensive.

(20:06):
Sounds.
Sounds like something Janet would pick.
Wait, wait, wait.
Before you start with your.How. No moment.
I want to ask you.
Jesse's wine shirt.
Yay or nay? You.
Me, too.
I thought it was cute.

(20:28):
I like that.
Okay, so I know that, when we didthe season one recap for The Valley,
I talked about how the first thingI agreed, with Jesse on was,
his philosophy for packing for Airbnbs,which is assume
nothing is there and bring everything,including the blender.
And so I really like that when he travels,he's planning these little outfits.

(20:50):
I know it's also for camera,but whatever he's taking time to plan
is little outfits. He's theming them.
I think it's cuteand I like his wine shirt.
And I think it's also so funnythat Janet Janet killing it
this episode with the quips that Jesse,she's coming for him, and the little digs
that get under his skin start here.

(21:12):
She literally is.
She literally says, where'd you get that?
And what is that?
And he's like, it's a wine shirt.We're going to wine country.
I thought it was appropriate.
And she's in like an old navy linen, likeblack two piece, which no shade either.
My sisterand I love some old navy sometimes.
And so.
But it was just so funnybecause you could see.

(21:34):
You could just sense that Jesse is like,of course you don't get fashion, Janet.
Because, like,Janet's always in athleisure.
Like, almost always an athleisure wear.
I mean, Jesse.
Jesse was a model with Jack's.
That's how they met.I don't know if you knew that.
I didn't know that either until recently,but totally adds up.

(21:57):
Like, I think about these guysthat Jack's hangs out with.
Tom Schwartz, Tom Sandoval, Jesse,
they're all ex models,and it's like they all
have these same level of toxicityfrom probably being a model.

(22:25):
ho. kick us off with, one of your.
Bravo? Hell. No moments. first. Hell, no.
Moment was when they were in the carsup to Santa Barbara.
And it was the car with Zach and Jasmine,
and I think Danny and Nia.

(22:56):
Oh my God!
Yeah.

(23:18):
Can I tell you something?
I have a theoryabout why they did the flat Stanley.
Benji.
Because last season,
Jasmineand Zach were just friend of right.
So if you think about them going homeat the end of the first season,
getting all this great fan feedback

(23:39):
because the fans love Zachand they love Jasmine,
and they were like, okay,what can we bring to season
two to make surewe're like a full fledged cast member,
and they get insecureabout not being in a partnership.
Zach andJasmine both had responses to that.
For season two,Jasmine got into a relationship
and is talking about engagement for herstoryline on the show, which I love.

(24:02):
Her girlfriend, meaning her girlfriend inthis episode was awesome.
She is the sweetest person I've watched.
How she moved the whole episodeand she came in.
The door was broughtstuff was really kind and sweet.
She during the car racing went outand was like refereeing
and flipping the cars overand she barbecued for all of them.

(24:23):
The the dinner.
So I was like, this angel, she'sand she's beautiful.
So love it.
But Zach doesn't have a relationship
or he kind of
does with this Benji personthat we haven't seen yet.
And but to represent thatand to have this storyline of like

(24:45):
my Canadiansomewhat boyfriend getting divorced
is going to come live with mefor the summer. But he's not here yet.
But I want to preface him in some episodesbefore he shows up to secure
that narrative and storyline for him,instead of it
being a fight with someone like a Janetor or Brittany.
He they they probably got togetherand were talking

(25:06):
and, like, came up with thispopsicle stick Benji thing
because I don't know.
Is Jasmine the type?
Maybe she's crafty.
I don't really know much about her,which is devastating.
I think we should learn more about her,and maybe she is a crafty girl.
Maybe she sits at home and like I do,I can literally look at I'm painting.
Here's my Crafty Girl project right now.

(25:27):
I'm painting my TraderJoe's tote bag with little fruits.
Just acrylic paint.
Who cares?
This thing is made of canvasand it was $3.
I know everyone wanted oneand it was a hot commodity, but ultimately
it's a canvas tote bag and it was $3,so I'm trying to paint fruit on it.

(25:47):
If I hate it, I don't care.
I hate it, but maybe it'll be cute
anyway.
So maybe Jasmine's into crafts like thatand she did make a little stick figure.
Benji.
Maybe it was a little bitmore thought out.
I mean, if I was on a reality show,I would at least put ten minutes
of thought into this stuffbefore the season started.

(26:11):
Give it up. I'm.
Needed to be done.
To be done.
Okay.
What did you think of Jessegreeting him at the door with white flags?
Michelle, you need this.
That's what.
Oh my God, why?

(26:32):
Why doesn't she just attack him?
I would, I would probably,maybe it starts playfully,
but I would attack himwhen he makes those little digs.
Which room is mine?
But I love it.
Like, again, they continually show up

(26:54):
and aren't afraid of each other.
And like, afraid.
Like they both knowthey're going to be fine with it.
So funny.
It's like he'sdefinitely not as, like, dangerous as Jax.
I do think that he has a little bit ofthere's something going on,
but I don't think he's going to hithis full crazy for a while.

(27:18):
So. Just.
I love it.
No, no.

(27:38):
Okay.
And he does because he wins.

(27:59):
So he's not wrong.
All these guys are so competitive.Like they're all.
And that's why, like,I don't know, there's something about
cis male straight men.
And when they bond and, like,there's a certain type of cis
male straight manthat's like these competitive bro types.
And it's it is fun.

(28:20):
It's fun to watch themget really into stuff like that.
As long as they're not likepoor losers about it.
Just so you hate it.
Yeah.
No, I don't like that. I don'tI don't like let's go.
But I do like enthusiasm.

(28:46):
I was going to say, wouldn'tyou feel like,
respected in a way like, wouldn'tlike some deep seated childhood thing.
Feel.
That's good.
Okay, so if I have a future partner,that's a guy.
I'm going to have him call you bro,and then you're going to love him.
That's.
That's your secret key. That's the key?
That's all it took.

(29:13):
Oh. I'm healed.
I can cancel all my therapy sessions.
Okay.
A bravo moment for mewas when Luke and, Kristen
take a while to come to the kitchen,and they're racing outfit.
And it's because we seeKrystal puts her fertility Krystal
outside the door and they're hooking up,and Mia's like, I saw a hat on the door.

(29:38):
What took so long?
And then they're all smiley.
And Kristen goes,
don't worry, we washed our hands after.
And then they all laugh.
And I thought that was sucha funny response.
Like to say to the parents, likethe two Christian bunnies that can't stop
having kids like to be like, don't worry,we wash our hands.

(29:59):
And I actually, I would love to hear that
someone wash their handsafter they did something like that.
I'd be like, thank you.
Oh yeah, I don't even want to get you
on the topic of semenand pooping on everything.
I know you have a firm for the beliefsand facts

(30:21):
to back it up.
So here's
the dude just. Be.

(30:44):
Brand new to this.
That's insane.
Because the person that madethe toothbrush
had. There's.
It's probably just it's all airborne.
Unless you have an air purifier
with a UV lightlike I do, there's no fecal matter here.
Yeah.

(31:04):
None.
Charter free environment here.
You okay?
Bravo.
Bravo.
I love that
the. On this episode,there are coordinated outfits.

(31:25):
I love the effort that this groupis putting into it as well.
They don't feel like cheap costumes,like on Summer House.
I mean, don't get me wrong,Summer House goes all out
with the costumes,but I just think they all look so good
in these racing outfitsthat they've all put on.
Like, everyone looks so hot.
I was like, everyone here is hot.
And I also love the,like solid color looks they change into

(31:49):
for dinner after we're like,Zach is in like the teal two piece.
Britney's in the solid tangerine dress.
It's in purple or something.
They're fuchsia.
They're all wearing like they're all,yeah, but tropical themed
tropical tropical love.

(32:10):
Power Rangers.
It just it really.
And it's not the outfits that do itbut the outfits add to it.
After seeing them,
racing the cars together
and like,just actually being friends on camera.

(32:32):
It's nice to see them do thatand then also have like,
looks that they've obviously talkedabout offline and put together offline,
like they're really friends.
And I really think I missed that
this season on southern charmand Southern hospitality.
Like it's those casts right nowfeel very assembled and like

(32:52):
they don't feel like they're naturallyall vibing as friends all the time.
And I think there's a lot of magicin some of these Bravo shows,
especially with the younger that aren'thousewives properties like it's important.
Vanderpump was so successfulbecause they were really friends,
so they would go through things togetherand they were like stuck with each other.
And I think this group feels like that.

(33:13):
So as flawed as Jax Taylor is emotionally,
he did assemblea really great group of people.
And I do think that him and Jesseputting together the boys chat,
well, I'm not going to say
that that was a choiceto create storylines on the show,
but I think that it definitely createdan invite like an environment

(33:36):
that you knew couldn't go well.
It's oh my, oh my God.
And if I had a guy that was in that groupchat, you know, I would make him
stay in it so I could see everythingand they're all doing that.
Every single wifeand girlfriend of those guys
knows what's going on in the group chat.

(33:57):
There's no fucking doubt.
But they blame Danny.
Jesse blames Danny.
Jesse just pokes at Danny whenever he can.
It's very younger brother.
It's very fraternity.
I'm the number one guy in this group.
Okay.
there's literally like there'sI want to create, infographic.

(34:21):
And it's like the the Bravo fraternity.
Like call it Bravo, bravo, bravo.
And it's literallylike Kyle Cook from Summer House,
like Tom Schwartz. Jax.
Jesse.
Jason.
Danny.
Like, even though Jason and Dannyaren't at all at their level,
they feed into this masculine

(34:45):
pyramid of Bravo fraternity.
Who else would be in that group?
That would be a really good.
I'm going to put that.
That's that's a good conversation to starton TikTok and see what people say.
I'm going to bring it to TikTok.
And if you aren't following me on TikTokyet, filmmaker or Lindsey Saint Lauren,
I'm posting all the time about the shows,ideas, thoughts, conspiracies.

(35:08):
I did The Valley 500 the other daywhere after I watched this episode,
I ranked the cast based on who I whoI think is a Sunday driver
all the way down to who I don't wantto see in the rearview mirror. ho.

(35:36):
I. Came out shirtless
and Janet goes, put a shirt on.
Yes, yes.

(35:56):
The wedding.
Wrap it up.

(36:23):
I love
that you knowwhat my role would be in that scenario
is that I would want to win.
But I wouldn't let myself winbecause I would.
I have the expectationthat everyone thinks that I want to win,
so I intentionally don't.
That way I don't look like that person.
Yes, I know this
is. One.

(36:54):
That's literallythat's literally me, though.
That's that's exactly how I play.
I've been like that since I was a kid.
My grandma on my mom's side,my grandma Helen
cares so much about winning,
and she's not competitive or viciousin any way, but you can just sense it
that my only goal inthe game is to make sure she doesn't win.
And that sounds cruel, but it's fun.

(37:15):
It's got lots of teasing involved, and inmy family, that's like how you show love.
Winningis a bonus, but at the end of the day,
you just want the person that caresthe most about winning to lose.
It's how you keep them humble.
Winning doesn't matter.

(37:37):
Okay.
It depends on who it is.
I guess.
You do something to prove to yourself.

(37:57):
See that she and I did play sports,
but I wasn't the best,so that got programed out of me quickly.
Like you growing.
If you play sports a lot, growing up,you learn really quickly that, like,
there's so many factors into successand and it's, like, impossible
for you to actually controlbut control it besides doing the best

(38:18):
that you can.
Do. Yeah.
I remember
I was like in high school and I,I was like the captain of my travel team.
But then my high schoolbasketball coach would bench me for games
I wouldn't play because I just wasn'ta priority on his team.
And so but that but as a, as a teenager,that's really hard.

(38:41):
And you're working hard to likeget the approval of these authority
figures in sports that you don't.
It's hard to comprehend.
Like that one person sees you as a failure, but the other team sees you as a value.
So I remember grasping that.
And and then I rememberthat someone's younger

(39:02):
sister who was on the bench with me,who was hilarious, like, had
we would just have a blastsitting on the bench,
like just talking and making funof everything that was going on.
And she in.
That really helped meput it in perspective for me,
the word doesn't matter,the wind doesn't matter.
It's just sabotaging everybody else.

(39:25):
That's fun.
Oh, like, I love Alyssa Edwards.
She is still one of my favorite dragqueens.
She's everything.
And I want her to be on House of villains.

(39:46):
I, I don't care.
I think she could if she came
on, if she came on the House of villains,and they were like House of villains,
then she would bring it outand she would do things
that were supposed to be villainous,and it would be genius
because I watched her on the goat.
She was on the goatwith Kristen Doty, with Kristen Doty?

(40:06):
Yeah.
And yeah, you should watch it.
It's fun.
It's the cheapest thing.
I think they filmed it in the pandemic.
So it's like all in one mansion,and it's really, really cheap looking.
But it's funny because the personalitiesthey bring in are so good Okay.
Oh hell no. Janet!
Why did I love
I do love her this episode.

(40:27):
And I hope she hears me say it,because she needs to hear it more.
Because lately I've been a hater.
But hell no, Janet.
She's jealous that.
Okay, so Zach doesn'teven want to go out into the course.
He literally be getting in there,
and someone's going to have to go refereein the middle and like, fix the cars
or whatever, right?
Zach literally goes,oh, I don't want to do that.

(40:48):
And then next thing you know they cut toZach has to do it.
And he's in the middle of the coursewith like an umbrella.
The sun is beating downand he's like just watching the cars
go by and he's miserable.
But Janet is on the is outin like the grandstands or whatever.
And she's jealous and calls himPrincess Peach.
And she'sjealous of the attention he's getting.

(41:14):
It's kind of dark.
It's kind of
lets us in a little bit on like
how Janet things, and I just think it's.
Yeah, I think it's kind of crazy.
So I was like, oh, hell no. Janet.
Like you're jealous of him.
You could go out there, go do it.
She's like, oh, I don't want to do it.
I just.

(41:36):
Yeah, yeah. But.
Okay.
How about you?
Do you.
It was a really, really great moment.
And I think that nowmight be a really good point
to share my final Bravo moment

(41:58):
of the episode.
Bravo, Jason.
Bravo.
I think he is officiallythe most attractive husband on this show.
And I'm willing to put asidehis toxic career because I can change him.
We can change legal jobs.

(42:18):
That's no problem.
But he's just so intelligentand so secure, and it's.
I'm, like, waiting to see a flaw here.
The fact that he was so supportiveto Britney in the previous episodes,
and now Janet has this spat.
So Jesse comes up to Janet and Britneyand is like,
hey, it's not cool that you're telling

(42:40):
people to block Orange County girl.
And and she's like,what do you mean, who's people?
I'm not telling people.
And Jason's like, I'm people.
And like, he's translating for Jesse, buthe's not interfering in the conversation.
And and Janet goes, that's my husband.
That's not people.
Like she's threatening legal action on us.

(43:00):
Sending letters, legal ceaseand desist letters.
So, yeah, we're going to block her.
And she's like, why is this matter?Are you even dating or anything?
Just she's like, no.
And and and and he's like,don't try to manipulate this.
Don't try to manipulate this or whatever.
He's like,she's sending legal letters to like,
your ex wife, our friendand our friends like it doesn't.

(43:22):
Why is she dating? Like, you know, there.
Her point is, why are you dating someone?
She knows you're in the spotlight.
If she has such a big problem
with you being in the spotlight,then why is she seeing you?
And it's you. You and I, Thomas.
We know it's intentional.
She's trying to get in, worked
into the storyline because she's alsofucking a guy from Baywatch.

(43:43):
Like she's clearly into
famous men to a degree.
Hot. He's hot.
Right? He's totally hot.
So anyway, so
all this is happening and and he's like,don't manipulate this, blah, blah, blah.

(44:06):
And she starts to walk away and she's.
And he says something like, well,maybe if your friend didn't cheat on me
and she goes, if you were my husband,I'd cheat on you to.
And I was just like,I loved I fucking loved it.
I was like, oh, I need aI need a cigaret after that.
That was amazing.
And what I loved, what I want to point outand want to recognize,

(44:26):
is that Jason didn'ttry to jump in the conversation.
He didn't try to silence his wife.
He didn't like he was.
He's supportive and strong, but he,
he and Janet in their group of friendsare seen as individual people.
And I think that's somethinga lot more people need to
call attention
to, because a lot of people that get intocouples are just always

(44:50):
seen as the couple,like they're in each other's scene a lot.
And I feel like even thoughthey're in the same group of friends
and they all know each other very well,they're individuals.
And so I wanted to commend Jasonfor being great.
And then there's another moment laterin the episode
when they're doing theirlike healing circle thing with the ball,
and Jason speaks on behalf of Britneyand asking, like,

(45:13):
for good energy to be sent to Jaxto go through rehab and stuff.
And you could tell Britney wantedyou could tell
Britney wanted to say it,but she didn't want to say it.
And it literallywas like so happy for her.
I was like, oh, Jason.
And she's like, thank you, Jason.
Like, I didn't want to say.
And obviously she did it,
but it was so sweet that he could like,see that and do it in the moment.
That was so strong and powerful.

(45:42):
It's not crazy.
I'm a I'm flip flop faster than Sheena.
Like I will forgive.
I'm very open.
I have a Libra rising and a Gemini Sun,and I am a very open person.
I believe in people changing,but you got to see it,
you know,the actions got to be there. And,

(46:03):
I mean, I did have, I did I was onworker's comp because of a dog attack.
So I don't have very positive thingsto say about attorneys that defend
corporations against minimum wage workerswhen they get injured at work.
I think that's particularly savage.

(46:39):
after seeing where this cast all lies
and how they treat people, Jason is by far
he's hot and he's like emotionally secure.
It's so cool.
Even later, when he follows Jesse to hisroom at the very end of the episode.
Like, think of how secure and strong

(47:00):
this guy is to follow
drunk Jesse, who's having a tantrumin his bedroom in with the cameras
like he's the one that goes likeI just think I want to.
I want to learn more about Jason.
I want to see more like where his limits,
what rattles Jason because right nownothing rattles Jason.

(47:22):
His wife is Janet.
Because, remember, his storyline
is that he goes out without his ring on.
Yeah.
I'm excited, I'm excited.
I'm excited to see it.
I think I think it could be somethinginnocent.
Like, I know a lot ofI know that he's not a blue collar worker,

(47:42):
but I know a lot of blue collarguys that take their rings off
because there's something called
like glove finger or somethinglike if you're wearing a ring and over
under your gloves, like,and something happens,
you could like lose a finger or something.
So maybe he has an excuse
like that because right now I don't see I,I don't believe it.
There's even a little cutaway momentin the background where you see him

(48:04):
and Janet having a moment, and they'rekissing in their little racing outfits.
And it's not for Kim.
Well, maybe it is for camera.
You know, I can't tell what isand what isn't right now,
but it's in the background of a shot. So
I thought that was really sweet.
Janet and Jason won me over this episode.
Man, I can't believe it.

(48:28):
I couldn't believe it.
next hell no moment was,it was just a brief moment,
on the verandahwhen Danny, Jason and Jesse
were talking while
Just.

(48:52):
You know.
Who said that?
He's just
saying that to be fucking patronizing.
He's like,I just tried to plan a nice weekend,
and you guys are ruining it.
It's like, okay.

(49:14):
Yeah.
All right.
So, Well,
what are we talking about?

(49:36):
Oh, the fact that Jessi thought
that it was going to be a nice weekend,and he's being a little patronize her.
I want to,
I think it's time that I bring upthis episode's
demonic behavior.
Sacks demonic behavior, sacks
demonic behavior.

(50:00):
Demonic.
Demonic. Demonic.
Demonic.
Demonic attacks.
Demonic behavior.
Word?
Yeah.

(50:21):
And we all knowwho's going to get the label the today.
And it is Jax Taylor.
The fact that he is messaging
Brittany like this is insane.
And I love that she's putting it oncamera.
I love it like, don't be shy girl.
This is despicable that he is so sick.

(50:42):
He is so fucked up.
The fact that he thinks that
after everything
he's done, that this woman is going to belike by his side supporting him.
The fact that in the aftershow
he's talking about his marital vowslike sickness and in health, I'm sick.
I literally
think that if we didn't have this show,

(51:05):
they could still be togetherbecause she wouldn't have it.
So in her face, how he's behaving becausehe was able to sweep it away for so long.
And the fact that he has athis is my final.
Hell no.
A moment that he has a video diary thatthis place is letting him have his phone.
Oh, oh, I hate thatthey put a video diary on the episode.

(51:28):
They should not have given himany camera time in the episode.
He should not have gotten paidfor the episode at all.
He's insane.
He's insane.
Let me read you some of the messagesthat he texted Brittany.
And then he started in the second Kristenresponded to him,

(51:50):
he started responding to Kristenand texting her all crazy.
I was like, oh, he's unhinged.
This guy is he's insane.
Here it is. Okay, He says things like.
You took my son from me. Disgusting.
Yikes.
am doing this for my son.
My God, your family is the most fucked upI have ever seen.

(52:13):
And they would never do what you did.
You took my job away from me.
I've workedso hard for two years for this.
And you took it from me.
I will never forgive you.
You've destroyed the only thing that Matt.
The only thing
that.
And then they blurred it out.

(52:33):
He said something there. It's the.
Oh, you have I will never forgive you.
You have destroyed the only thing.
The only fucking thing.
Something Ryan said.
I don't blame you.
And what she did was ruthless,showing people

(52:54):
that video is absolutely disgusting.
I know, I don't know,
but I don't know.
It's all.
It's all it's it's insane.
The he's he's it's just blocks of him.
And then on the show they talk abouthow he's like going
and doing therapy for an hourand then going back to his room

(53:16):
on his phone for 15 minutes and, like,massaging her all this stuff.
And I even posed a question on TikTok.
I was like, I wonder if Jax is messagingthe boys chat.
All this hate right nowbecause he's like spiraling.
Or if he's like pretending it'sall cool, calm and collected on his end
with the voice chat.

(53:36):
Or is he just not even acknowledgingthe boys chat?
But right now,the way he reacted to Kristen, I
it makes me feel like he wantsjust anybody to pay attention to him.
Exactly.
I want to see the boys.
I want them to publish

(53:56):
everything in the boyschat, put it in a hardcover book,
put it in a hardcover book, likefrom the day it started to up until now.
And just publish it all.I want to read it.
I would literally just
pictures of the texts can be on each pageand I'll eat that shit up.
It'll be a New York Times bestseller.

(54:17):
Yeah, no, I don't even want it typed up.
I want the screenshots.
So if anyone here is listeningin that group chat, or Jackson Self
or producers publish the book, publish
the chat, that's you will make a fortune.
Okay.
And that's and that's demonic behavior.
The fact that he got that stupid videoat the end of the episode

(54:38):
where he's just rambling,I mean, it's on one hand
from like psychotherapystandpoint, it's fascinating
to like, listen. To.
Some of these
that uses.

(55:01):
know, there's no sympathy.
I want the worst things to happen to him.
I know he hasn't even hit rock bottom yet,and I want worse things to happen.
That's so mean. But it's real.
I want him to hurt the way he's hurtother people.

(55:22):
You can see in the aftershow
that he's using languagethat shows that he's made progress.
But then
the episode that just went outthat we did last week,
where I go back and forthbetween a couple podcasts comparing him
talking on the hotMike podcast, and Britney
going through all the lies that he toldon the hot Mike podcast,

(55:43):
really tells me that he'sactually not doing what he's doing.
He's acknowledging some stuff,but he's not actually
doing active recovery workto overcome those things.
He's pretending to do it, though,
and he's using language like he's doingit, though, and I really have a problem.
There was like a whole scandalthat came out with Jonah Hill,
a couple like a year or two ago,

(56:05):
where he was using therapy termswith his girlfriend to, like,
put her, like to gaslight her into, like,you know, it was really, really toxic.
And it started this whole conversation
about, menthat use therapy terms incorrectly.
And I just think that, like,now Jax is going to become
the spitting poster childlike, Spitting Image poster child of that

(56:28):
because he's like, learned a couple words.
So now he's going to come inand tell everyone that they're,
you know.
I'm going to beat you up. Now.
I'm like, it'sjust viscerally makes my body angry.
And it makes me want to just, like,take a fork in his thigh

(56:51):
or something.
I really, I really relate to early Stassi
being so, like, angry,physically angry with her words.
Like, remember how she used to saylike threaten crazy things?
Like she would say.

(57:14):
That is getting Jax.
That's actually what getting Jax is.
Is it like is makes you so angry inside
that like the only way to get it outis to picture actually hurting somebody.
And I'm not somebody that actuallypictures hurting anybody, ever.
But for some reason, this person,when I really think about it,

(57:35):
or if I watch what he's doingthis season, it makes me
it's demonic behavior.
Janet. Janet put it best.
It's demonic behavior.
Are you ready to hear another?
Hell no moment.
And actually, this comes from the well,
it's from the episode,but they highlighted on the aftershow.

(58:00):
And I think I felt
I got the X from Danny and Nia.
I can't believe it.
I'm actually kind of shocked.
Thank you for creating a safe spacefor me to say this.
And of course, I could flip flop next weekand I could be totally pro.
Nia and Danny.

(58:21):
But right now, there was a moment in the,
like, in Villa's will of a hippiethat comes that Kristen brings in.
They do a momentwhere they, like, are asked
to put their hands up for the moonor something, mother moon or something.
And the end,
Danny, sit back and they're like,that's not my God, I'm not going to do it.
And I got the Christian ask.

(58:43):
Yeah.
In the aftershow, they, theythey touched upon it really lightly, but
the Christian shine burst through themat that moment and I was like,
And I think
there's another moment, too,in the episode where
the somebody saysthey all go to church together.
I think Jason and Janetgo to church with Nia and Danny.

(59:07):
But Jason,which is like, now look at how sick I am.
I'm like,oh, Janet and Jason go to church.
That's cute.
Like, they need church.
But but the fact that Nia and Danny,
this is the thing about Christian,
I don't care because I grew up Catholic,so I'm going to speak my piece

(59:27):
about Christianitybecause I was raised in that environment.
And for me, I just think it's like,
I respect if you are like, I worship God,
but like,I think your God's going to be okay
if like, you put your arms up for the moonduring
filming a scene, like,you know what I mean?
It is Danny saying,oh, I can't be a zombie in this

(59:50):
because you don't come back from the deadunless you're Jesus.
Like, no, he's he's do it.
No, but he's doing zombie parts.
He's being a zombie
and he's being something supernaturaland outside of his faith.
But like,he can't put his hand up for the moon
because Willow's leading them in a thing.
Like, really?Is that going to offend your God?

(01:00:13):
That's my point.
That's my point. It's like,where do you draw the line?
And why is the moon
a bigger deal than a character?

(01:00:39):
I. Yeah.
You. Wait.

(01:01:01):
I want to see that.
I want to see that.
That. Okay.
You got to send that to me.
That's hilarious.
But that's the kind of the thing, I mean,and I'm like, okay, but we if you if,
if we're believing that, like,God made the earth in seven days
and he made the moonand he made everything,
then why aren't we, like,why can't we worship the moon?

(01:01:21):
It's God's creation.
Like I just things like thatwhere I have like so many questions.
And that's why the priest told my grandma
that I was a theologian,the theologian of the family,
because I was constantly questioningeverything religious, always
Yeah, literally.
I'm like,oh no, grandma, I'm here to tear.
I'm tearing it all apart.

(01:01:43):
But it's cute when Janet and Jasongo to church.
That's cute.
This for me this week.
This week I'm like, should I go to church?
If Janet and Jason go to church, like,it's like
day and night to where I was last week.
But all it takes is for youto give me some good reality TV.
Janet shit on Jessie challenge Jessieand then Jason's there.

(01:02:06):
Like being a man and like, not afraidto jump into a hard conversation.
And I'm like, oh my God,
I'm in love.
I was almost in love with Jessiebecause he was naked a lot.
And then I was like,
then he talkedand I was like, okay, hold on a second.
There was a momentthat I want to acknowledge

(01:02:26):
in Willis little truth saying, oh, no,it wasn't Willis true thing.
It was with the ball, after which I thinkwas a Luke and Kristen edition,
because Willow wasn'tthere any more for that.
But Jessie, first off, Luke
says, don't give the ball to your partner,give it to somebody else.
And Jesse's
drunk at this point.

(01:02:47):
I think he holds his liquorvery well because he's a frat boy,
so you can't really tell.
But he's drunk and he gives the ballto Michelle, and then he goes.
And Zach, don't roll your eyes at Michellethe way you did it. Me?
And I, I thought that was hot.
I was like, for just a momentbecause it was so bold to.

(01:03:11):
And in the way he called him outto was like this.
Like, as if he was doing itto, like, respect, Michelle,
which I thought was like so devious.
It was hot.
It everyone's shitting on his underwear,
but I thought he looked good.

(01:03:36):
With briefs.
They're definitely in the briefs.
I've been in for a minute, though.
Yeah, well, they're models, so true, true.
briefs have been in for a whilesince people started realizing that
if you ring boxers,your scrotum gets stretched
and then you have, like,really hanging shitty balls.

(01:03:58):
When you get older.
They're not supportive enough unless yougot the the I don't know if it's me undies
or like one of those underwear brandsthat has the pocket in the front
for you to put your balls inso they don't dangle.
And that's that.
That's the thing that you wantbecause it was like it went like this.

(01:04:21):
The transition was like this.
Boxers were cool in the 90s.
Then it was boxerbriefs with American Eagle
and like Hollister and Abercrombieand then it was men's Lululemon underwear.
That was all the rage.
And then like, I think Meundiesor somebody came out with the ball holders
and then the studies startedcoming out about
and people startedgetting like scrotum surgery

(01:04:44):
because they didn't want low hanging ballswhen they were older.
I think because of a Johnny Knoxvillejackass bit.
Honestly, if I was to draw a timeline,I would include that
because Johnny Knoxville used to do thisold grandpa that had his balls
hanging out all the time,and I feel like that did something to men.
And then
that helped with this transition of nowthat briefs are back.

(01:05:08):
What screwed.
Wait, what do you mean?
Like they'reputting Botox in their scrotum?
What does that do to. Oh,
like to fill it?
I don't like the idea of a needlegoing down there at all.
And I don't even have one.

(01:05:32):
Oh. Hey, hey.
How come?
That's okay.
But if God wants us to get pregnant.
Okay, then we have to stay pregnant.
I think if your dick doesn't work,then you.
If you're.
If you're of the beliefthat we have to give birth,
if we get pregnant andthere's no contraceptives and no abortion,

(01:05:53):
your dick can't work.
Guess what?
Your dick can't work. Yeah. That's right.
God took that dick away.
While we are political this episode,I'm offending political people.
I'm offending religion.
This podcast isnever going to be successful.
That's right.
That is gender affirming care.

(01:06:16):
Bitch.
That wig, that wig.
Uhhuh.
I, I love Zach, and I think,
we should talk about the conversationthat Zach and Janet
sat down and had.

(01:06:38):
Honestly, I'm
reserving my last hellno moment for Britney.
But I want to talk about the conversationbetween Zach and Janet.
I think Zach is a very emotional personand I love that about him.
I think it makes him great for TVand I and I loved when he found out
that Britney told her the next day,the next day,

(01:07:03):
and Britney, I guess, told himthat she went to lunch with Janet
and then told Janet latershe lied to Jack or to, Jack's mom.
She lied to Zach.
And so he was processingthat during that conversation.
And he calls forneed to come over and hold his hand.
You know
how happy I would have been to bethe person called to hold Zach's hand

(01:07:26):
in a conversation with Zach and Janet,
like, that's my dream.
That's my.
I think if anything,maybe I should just be friends with Janet.
Like she'll respect that I'm a fan,but also like, get it?
That'll help her make great TV.
But, the fact that she's holding her hand.
I was a little annoyed that, like,Janet took almost no accountability

(01:07:49):
for her babymoon.
It's a cast triplast season that she left him out on,
and specifically the thingthat she also didn't take accountability
for that really bothered mewas when she sent her
gay, pink, crocked henchmen to video himfinding out
that he wasn't invited to her babymoon.
That was diabolical and I loved it.

(01:08:11):
But I think, likeif they were having that conversation
and Zach was taking accountabilityfor the things he said
and like being honest about,like not meeting it, being drunk, like
feeling a feeling left outfrom not being invited on the trip
or whatever, like Janet could havetaken accountability for something.
And that's what I wantedto take accountability for,
because it felt really deviousto send somebody in to record that.

(01:08:41):
With them, with them, they're two
all reacting to himand making him seem crazy, like it was.
It definitely didn't.
It doesn't feel likea real friendship for sure, but I mean,
I love it.
I love it.

(01:09:02):
I love it, but also like in thatfor that conversation
to actually have gone somewhere,
I think she would have neededto take accountability for that.
And she didn't.
She didn't do it at all.
Like,
So much.

(01:09:35):
We need to hire her.
We need to hire her.

(01:09:56):
was like, that is such a good idea.
That's.
That's it.
Yes. I think it's coming. With.
With how much? In.
Even in the aftershowwhere Jesse's talking about.
Why can't, like,we should just do Molly or something like.
Or one time I did Molly.
Like, I think it's only a matter of timebefore they do some kind of like
if they didayahuasca on TV, I would love it.

(01:10:26):
I'm familiarwith it, but I haven't seen it.
That is really cool that she, like,
shit herself and puke and stuff.
Like.

(01:10:51):
Oh, I don't really have a desire
to put my body through that.
But you know what?
If someone could.
Someone could inspire me.
I think I could get whipped up in, like,a trip to Peru or like Guadalupe.
Guadalupe?
That is not a place that is not Guadalupe.
Guatemala. Okay.

(01:11:11):
If it was like going to Guatemalaor something like that,
like I could maybe be inspired to do it,but it's just like when you really think
about like the purging that has to happen.
I just don't like I just don't like everbeing sick like that.
Like, if I have the flu, like,I recently had the norovirus
and it was during the Super Bowl.

(01:11:33):
And it was a horrible, horrible thing.
Like, I did like Jerry Seinfeld.
And that episode where he didn't.
Yeah, there's like an episodewhere he's like, bragging about he hasn't
puked since like the 80s or something,and then he ends up

(01:11:55):
getting sick.
It's horrible.
You never been food poisoned? Wow.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Okay, I have my. Yes.

(01:12:20):
So you.
Must.
Nuts.
You nuts?
You know, do you?
Know.
That's right.
That's really funny.
I love that, My final hellno moment is I'm pissed at Britney.

(01:12:44):
I'm pissed at Britney.
And I know she's going throughsome hard stuff, but that doesn't make her
not shady.
And I think it was really shady that sheshe knows Zach and she's known Zach
since they were like teenagers in Kentucky
and like, they've known each otherfor like 14 years or something.
And so like the fact that he was blackoutdrunk,

(01:13:06):
which isn't an excuse, like an adultshouldn't be getting blackout drunk.
Like, I agree with something, Janetsaying that in the aftershow, but
at the same time
she has a
husband, okay, with substanceabuse issues.
If anyone here understands
someone that's not in a condition
to actually be quoting,or if she understands

(01:13:30):
Zach is a person in his life and wherehe's going and where he's at in life.
I just think it was really fucking lowof her to go, and maybe she did it
to push attention on the show off of herand Jackson on to other people.
But whatever the motive is doesn'texcuse the fact that it was shady as hell
for her to go to Janetthe next day at lunch

(01:13:51):
and tell pregnant Janetwho they're supposedly protecting
because she's pregnantand they don't want anything bad to happen
that Zach wishes her baby to die.
She did.
She went and told her that.
He said he didn't care if her baby
whatever, And.

(01:14:16):
Well, that.
Was that what they said?That's what he said. He's like, why?
Janet isn't, like, untouchable.
Because she's pregnant.
And they're like,stress can make her like, lose the baby.
And he was like, I don't care.
Like that's literally how he responded.
He's to like to them directly to Michellesaying
it was Brittany and Michelle sitting thereon the couch at Jackson's bar,

(01:14:38):
and they were like, and she was like,you can't say that.
Like stress can make her lose the baby.
And then Zach was like,I don't care if she loses the baby.
Like, like having this total childlike meltdown.
Like it's just obviously he doesn'twant her baby to die, like I just have.
Even if he literally said,
I hope her baby dies, like,I still don't believe he means that.

(01:15:04):
But maybe that's because
I hang out with a lot of air signsthat, you know, have vulnerable moments.
Sometimes. I don't know.
Yeah, I just don't think that, like,
how could Brittany really thinkthat he meant that?
And then why, if they really care aboutJanet, why would she go tell Janet that?
And so that's why I'm pissed at Brittany.
And I just think that, like,

(01:15:25):
I can be supportive of her and seethat she's going through some hard stuff,
but like, I also think, like youand I also hated that in the kitchen
when Zach pulls Janet to gohave a conversation, she goes,
oh, look at my friendstalking to each other again.
I hate when someone's having a hard timewith something

(01:15:47):
and someone decidesto be the bigger person.
I hate commentary like that.
That'sgiving like your old fucking grandma
or your aunt that like, can't hold her,you know what I mean?
Like, just shut the fuck up.
I honestly, for me, if someone didthat, I'd be like, now not talking to her.
You knew and you did that.
Like, that's how I would want toI want to react to it.
It was so annoying.

(01:16:10):
It was so annoying.
And I know her intentions are good,but it's just like, shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
Anyway, so I'm angry at Brittany.
I'm like, I'm not Team Jax though.
There's no way I don't.
I want to be clear, I want it.
Hey everyone listening?
I want to be clear.

(01:16:32):
Anyway, I'm sure she'll make it up to me
next week, but maybe notif Nia's yelling at her.
I'm excited to see where it goes.
Is there anything with the aftershowyou want to address?
There was so much setin the aftershow how?

(01:16:54):
I'm gonna.
I'm going to use a Jax.
I'm going to use a Tom Schwartzvocabulary word.
If you are watching Vanderpump Ruleslike Thomas, you'll notice that
these guys have specific Scrabble wordsthat they like to use over and over again.
One of Tom Schwartz'sfavorite words is diatribe.
And while I was watching the aftershow,I was exhausted by Jax

(01:17:16):
Jax diatribeabout how he just wants support.
He just wants a post-it lettertelling him he's going to be good.
Like,does he not understand what a breakup is?
Does he not understand?
Oh, you don't get the privilegesof your wife anymore, sir.
You can't go fucking OnlyFans models
and leaving dirty thongs in the bathroomand expect her to write you an I love you.

(01:17:40):
You're going to be okay. Let her.
She probably doesn't want you to be okay.
She wants you to die.
I, I think I think like, in the,
in the confessionals, filming the show,I think that she was still
there's still an energythat, like, Jax could still have a chance.

(01:18:03):
And then I think now seeing the after show
and hearing the podcast, there'sno fucking way that guy's got a chance.
Like,you can sense the difference in Brittany.
That felt like it camefrom a personal experience
that Lala was mentioning, which I loved.

(01:18:38):
ho. Yeah.
It's so fucking loud.
I live in the ghetto.We live in the ghetto.
There we go. So.
Okay, fine.
You'reright. It can be ghetto sometimes. Okay.
So now that we're donetalking about the Valley,
I do want to talk about somethingvery related.
And that's.

(01:18:58):
Sheena had her 40th birthdaythis week, and
podcasters that I listened to,like Heather McDonald got to go.
And, a lot of people went.
A photographer I follow on Instagramtook some great photos at the event.
It was a death to her 30s, a very like a very common party theme done in LA.
Here.

(01:19:19):
Usually it's death to 20s as I've beenattending lately, but death to 30s.
And she wore this gorgeous red dress and,there's pictures of, like,
Brock with her cake and half of it's redand half of it's black,
like the 30s are black, inthe 40s are red.
And everyone looked really good.
But I thought it was hilariousbecause, like, even Sheena couldn't
have that moment

(01:19:39):
because the next day, when the picturesand all the stuff
was coming out about the party,
Bravo dumped a bunch of new shows on usthat are coming out.
So they're doing the upfronts right now.
And if you're, like, not familiarwith the upfronts, if you work in TV
or if you work in marketing,like the streamers and the, what the

(01:20:00):
with one of the okay, the streamersand like the TV networks, they all release
they have this event called the upfronts,where they invite all their
corporate partners
and all their marketing brandsand related people to come
and see what's coming down the pipeline
that makes them a valuable place for themto spend their money to advertise.
And I used to love tuning into the upfronts

(01:20:22):
when I worked in TV, and I would sitand watch what the announcements are.
It's it's like Christmas morning.
And so the list, from Bravo came out.
Bravo, Peacock.
And, we've got Below Deck Mediterraneancoming back for season ten.
We have Below Deck DownUnder coming back for season four.
We have Southern Charmcoming back for season 11.

(01:20:42):
Very excited about that.I hope it's better than last season.
Southern hospitality is coming backfor season four.
Also very excited about that.
We've got The Real Housewives of BeverlyHills coming back for season 15,
and if Kyle Richardsparticipates in this season,
she will become the longeststanding housewife,
which has created rumbles,which has created rumbles.

(01:21:03):
About Vicki Gunvalsoncoming back to do the greenlit
Real Housewives of Orange County season 19because she's the current title holder.
Then we have The Real Housewivesof Potomac
coming back for seasonten, Salt Lake City for season six.
I love Salt Lake City.
I'm definitely covering it.

(01:21:25):
Yeah.
Have you watched it yet?
Have you watched it? You.
Yeah. Heather.
Heather really hit her stride that season.
Like she knows what we need.
She knows the sound bite to deliver.
And she did. Ozempic.
So she looks great.
And she's, like,shameless about how better her life
experience is now that she's skinny,which is a whole nother conversation.

(01:21:46):
But I love Salt Lake.
You should absolutely watch SaltLake City.
Like, you'll watch it in a weekend. It'sso good.
They hit season oneand they're sprinting like it's so good.
Ladies of London.
This is technically the third season,but it's
going to be like a revamp of the show.
And I really liked the first Ladies ofLondon series, so I'm excited about that.

(01:22:10):
The Valley Persian style.
So they're bringing back Shahs of Sunsetand they're doing.
They all live in the Valley now too,so they're doing another valley show,
and I'm actually really excitedabout that.
Yeah, yeah,I'm really, really excited about that.
And then they have WifeSwap, Real Housewives addition.

(01:22:30):
So they're going to do oh.
You know I know I'm so excited.
That sounds so good.
And they and they have,
you know, detailsbroken down for, for that stuff.
But I'm also really excitedbecause I think I'm planning
to bring the podcastto Bravocon in November.

(01:22:54):
Yeah.
And I don'tI don't have details on it yet,
and I haven't been able to register yet.
So if you're listening to this andyou know anything, please reach out to me.
But I'll be looking into it,and I definitely want to be at Bravocon
November 14th and 15th in Vegas.
So I think that'll be really cool.
And I think we'll just dolike a bunch of giveaways.
People can come,we'll do some live podcasting

(01:23:15):
and we'll just have a bunchof like giveaways for people to like,
fill out a little ballot and enter for,and they'll be all, bravo related.
And I'm going to include some of Jess
or Aaron's honey,because I bought a thing of honey.
And I think, next time
you're on,we should do a taste test of it.

(01:23:36):
Okay, so I'm going to get way to ship you
a bottle. But.
Okay, maybe we start.
Maybe we start uncut white.
Honey, that's a little bit different.
We could sell it on Santa Monica
Boulevard instead of Hollywood Boulevard.

(01:23:59):
We will have hot men with no shirts.
Just like,
undo their pants.
And then the honey bottles.
There.
Oh, my God.
Let's, let's go to Jesse with it.
Let's go to Jesse with it, and we'll havea rival honey white honey company.

(01:24:22):
Oh, my God, I'mgoing to TikTok this to Jesse.
He needs to.
This is what will help him.
We need a cut on this.
But I think it's genius.
Are we, like, Are we Kristen?
Are we team Jesse now?

(01:24:43):
If he keeps his shirt off,you your team shirt off.
Let's re.
Now. So.

(01:25:04):
Right there.
Consent. They're consenting adults.
And if anything, the people on the valley
know exactly how these shows are made.
Like they're.
It's not like we're watching
a 21 year oldfuck up their life on national television.
You know what I'm saying?I think it's a big difference.
And I think.
And. Yeah,and I think that, like the fact that

(01:25:27):
Michelle is choosing to come film,even though these people
drive each other crazy, like it'ssomething that they're consenting into
and they all have other careers,they're not dependent on this to survive.
So it's not a toxic situation.
I think that like, it's really coolthat the show is on
and it's doing what it's doing.I love it, I love The Valley.
It's my favorite show right now.

(01:25:48):
Everything else seems boring.
Summer House seemsI don't give a shit about Jesse and Lexie.
Nobody else onthat show is bringing any drama.
Summer House is boring the valley.
You can't compete.
This is like when Salt Lake CityJen Shah got detained
by the FBI on camera like nothing elsecould compete at the time.

(01:26:09):
Girl, girl.
She was on a production busand they were filming on a trip,
and she just got off the busand no one knows where she went.
And then moments later, the FBI raided it.
You got to watch Salt Lake City.
It's so good.
I love that you're converted.
It only took me like ten yearsto get you to do this.

(01:26:31):
Next time, I hope you trust us.
I hope you trust me and your sister.
Next time we tell you.
Great. Okay.
Well, I hope you have a great day.
Thanks for attending your meeting today.
Next week.
I do have some other specialguests coming,
but Thomas will be back to talkabout the valley soon.
And meeting adjourned.

(01:26:55):
Yeah, there's.
It's going to be cool. It'sgoing to be different and exciting.
So I think it'll be great.
Anyway.
Only time.
Meeting adjourned.
Alex, thank you for attending. Bravo.
Helix. Anonymous.
You can follow us online.
Let us know if you have any feedbackor questions.
Review, subscribe.
Like whatever the podcast because it'simportant for other people to find it.

(01:27:18):
And that's everything for today.
Keep your champagne cold in your taglines.
Iconic. Should I stop?